Ep 175: Introvert Networking, Made Practical | Guest Expert Conor Cunneen

We share a practical playbook for turning in‑person events into low‑pressure business development, especially for introverts. Mindset, prep, and simple conversation moves replace scripts and force with curiosity and follow‑through.

• reframing networking as a business development call
• doing targeted pre‑event research and LinkedIn warmups
• arriving early to make first conversations easy
• wearing subtle conversation cues to invite openers
• asking “what brings you here?” instead of “what do you do?”
• skipping jargon and elevator pitches for plain, short hooks
• using names to build rapport and attention
• being remembered by giving helpful, relevant value
• planning a clear give and a clear get for follow‑ups
• creating reasons to reconnect and sustain momentum

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Chapters

• 0:00 Welcome And Show Focus
• 1:27 Guest Intro And Promise Of Takeaways
• 2:34 Main Topic: Introvert Networking
• 3:22 Mindset Shift To Biz Dev
• 5:34 Pre‑Event Research And Targeting
• 6:32 Arrive Early To Ease Into Conversations
• 7:49 Warm Up Via LinkedIn And Curiosity
• 9:22 Be Interested, Not Interesting
• 12:34 Small Talk Starters And Wearable Cues
• 16:01 Better Openers Than Elevator Pitches
• 18:24 Ditch Jargon And Invite Follow‑Ups
• 20:51 Be The Helpful Person They Remember
• 22:54 Plan Your Give And Your Get
• 24:34 Use Names To Build Rapport
• 26:14 How To Connect With The Guest
• 28:14 Host’s Closing And Next Step Offer

Transcript

SPEAKER_00: 0:34

Welcome to Tiny Market. I'm Serena Off Block. This show is made for solo consultants who want to get booked out without burning out. If you've ever thought, I just want this to feel easier, you're not alone. Around here, we focus on simple, sustainable growth that actually fits into your life. So growth feels doable instead of overwhelming. Uh, can you introduce yourself to the audience?

SPEAKER_01: 0:59

Hey, Sarah, Connor Camin, uh Irishman speaks here. And as you can gather, I've been working on my Chicago accent for 27 years now. Nearly nailed it.

SPEAKER_00: 1:10

So close.

SPEAKER_01: 1:11

But then primarily I work with organizations to improve the people, performance, and productivity uh with a smile. And what I promise my clients is that after I've worked with them or after I've done a keynote, they'll be leaving with a smile in the face, with a spring in the step, and with some memorable, actionable takeaways to achieve the objectives that I have been brought in to help them achieve.

SPEAKER_00: 1:37

Yeah, it's so funny that you are local to me. Yesterday we we discovered that on the pre-call where I definitely, you know, assumed you're in Ireland when Irishman speaks, but you're only like 40 minutes from me.

SPEAKER_01: 1:53

Red right, yeah, yeah. Still working on the Chicago accent.

SPEAKER_00: 1:57

I've nailed it. I've been working on it since Brian.

SPEAKER_01: 2:00

Right.

SPEAKER_00: 2:01

All right. Today we are talking about networking techniques you can use as an introvert. And specifically, we're focusing in on those in-person events that are a little bit harder to get out of your comfort zone when you're I think that I firmly land right on the line between introvert and extrovert. And it depends on my mood that day on if I'm killing a networking event in person or if I'm hiding in a corner. So this will be helpful for me too. Let's talk a little bit about your techniques. So you sign up. I'm me. I signed up, and I'm like, oh crap, tonight is that networking event. I really don't want to go. What's the first thing I should do?

SPEAKER_01: 2:50

Well, I think the first thing you should go to do if you've got that kind of a mindset is say to yourself, I'm not going to go to a networking event. And you're probably saying, What? We're talking about networking. So, what I suggest is that forget about going to a networking event. Go to the event that is built as a networking event, but treat it as a business development call or as a sales call. So if I've got the mindset of I'm going to go to a network event and oh, saying to my my darling wife, I'm going to a network event, and she kind of might say, Oh, another one. But if I say I'm going to a business development call or a sales call, I get good luck. Okay? And it is a it is a mind shift, and it's how you then walk into the room. You're not walking into the room knowing, I am here on a sales call or on a business development call, and you react differently, you interact a little bit more differently, I think, than another networking event. So that's I think the first point I would make. So if you're feeling unsure about going to that networking event, you're right. Don't go to it, but go to a sales card.

SPEAKER_00: 4:01

Okay. I love that that mindset shift. Because they do they you go into it sometimes when you're just not in the mood and thinking this is gonna be a waste of time by even doing that.

SPEAKER_01: 4:14

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00: 4:14

But else call that's always worth your time.

SPEAKER_01: 4:18

Yeah, yeah. And I kind of like you, I'm on the boards off Chicago, and I go into a fair few networking events in Chicago. It's sometimes about saying a bit like you, ah, but then I said, Connor, this is business development. And if I go in with that mindset, it does make a difference.

SPEAKER_00: 4:35

Yeah, that makes sense. I'm gonna have to, after the call, have to get those the names of the networking events you're going to or business development events you're going to, because I just gave up on.

SPEAKER_01: 4:49

Right.

SPEAKER_00: 4:50

Okay, so I signed up for it. I've changed my mind. So I'm okay, this is about biz dev, this is about sales. What next? I get there in a no, it isn't right.

SPEAKER_01: 5:02

Well, actually, before you get there, Sarah, if you have the opportunity to see who is going to be attending the meeting. So let's say you're going to a local Chamber of Commerce meeting. What you could do there is possibly have a quick scan through some of the members of that chamber of commerce, see if there's a few of them who might be particularly interesting target markets for you to connect with, do a small little bit of research on them so that if you do get the chance to meet them at the chamber meeting, you would be able to have a connection and a conversation with them. They're kind of saying whoa, this person is clued in. So if you have the opportunity to do relevant research to help you connect with the potential people, do that. Now, that doesn't always apply, obviously, but there are times when you can do that. So once we've done that, so now we're deciding we're going on a business development call. I've done some research. The next thing, and I think this is critical for you if you're an introvert, be one of the first people in the room. I think what happens, most introverts is that oh, I'd better go into this. They hesitate about going, I don't want to be there early. Then when they go there, the meeting is on 30, already on 30 minutes. You go in and there's a whole phalanx of people there, and you kind of say, Who do I talk to? I don't know how to break into any group. If you're the first person in the room, the second person in the room has got to come talking to you. If you're the first person or the second person in the room, the third or the fourth person in the room is gonna come speaking to you. So you're creating an easy environment for you to start a conversation.

SPEAKER_00: 6:40

I love that. And I just want to pause there for a second and talk about those two points. So, one, looking up who's gonna be there beforehand is so smart. And check to see if they're on LinkedIn, connect with them ahead of time, create a personalized message that says, Hey, I'm going to that event too. Do you have any heads up on what's going on, what it's like? It's my first time, something like that. So you can pre-start conversations in maybe a warmer environment or somewhere where you feel more comfortable. And then when you see them, they're not cold to you anymore. You've had that little conversation.

SPEAKER_01: 7:17

Absolutely. Because I always make the comments. Uh good speaker friend of mine, I haven't said years ago, and I repeat it. It's better to be interested than interesting.

unknown: 7:29

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01: 7:29

Because if I'm speaking to you and I'm interested in you, you are paying attention. If I'm saying something interesting, well, maybe there's another 10 other people who said other interesting things, but it's not immediately connecting with you. It's better to be interested than interesting. So, in one sense, the better way to have a networking conversation is to have the other person asking you questions and almost doing more of the conversation based on your questions to them.

SPEAKER_00: 8:03

And I think that that advice really speaks to the strong suit that a lot of introverts have, too, because they don't talking about themselves all the time. They're really good at asking questions to put that spotlight on the other person. As a part-time introvert, I'll call it. Yeah. That's what I do. I am really good at asking questions to keep the focus on someone else other than me.

SPEAKER_01: 8:30

Yeah. Yeah. I and it does work because when I'm in a networking event, the most important person at the network event is me. And similarly, when you're there, the most important person for you is you. But you've got to make sure that the person you're speaking with is interested in you. And the best way for them to be interested in you is that you're interested in them. It's kind of paradoxical, but I think that makes sense.

SPEAKER_00: 8:57

Yeah. Okay. Let's pause there for one second because I also want to just spotlight something you said in point number two, where coming a little bit early and being that first person, the person they have to approach because you're the first one there. Another benefit of that is you start to practice a little bit those conversations, and it becomes easier for you to talk to the next person and the next person, because in a low pressure environment, when it's just the two of you, you already had that conversation. So each sequential one will get easier and easier.

SPEAKER_01: 10:32

Absolutely. And kind of a in a sense of kind of greasing the axle kind of thing. The more comfortable you get, the more comfortable you're going to get.

SPEAKER_00: 10:40

Yeah, that's exactly it. So when you are interested instead of interesting, how do you approach that conversation about what you do to make it a little bit, well, truly a biz dev or a sales conversation? How do you make that transition when you're having a normal conversation and keeping them the star of the show?

SPEAKER_01: 11:10

Well, I think if you can have opening phrases to a conversation that are not business related, then you can have good business-related conversation. So by by that I mean that if there's some way that you can start a conversation with the person you're networking with that is uh a little bit interesting or different. We spoke yesterday about uh forward in the pre-call, the fact that I was a Manchester United supporter, and the ball over my head there is a sign ball from Manchester United from 1998, I think it is. But the example I quoted you yesterday was that I was at the spin cycling class last week, got up, finished it up, and a lady came up over to me and she said that you guys didn't do so well last night. And I kind of looked, remembered I had a Man United shirt on me. But what uh the lesson there is that she saw something that she identified with her husband and son were rabid Man United fans, as I now understand your husband and son.

SPEAKER_00: 12:08

He actually corrected me. It's Man City that they're fans of. He's actually they're my enemy.

SPEAKER_01: 12:13

That's the end of this conversation. Sorry. Sorry, I'm gone. No, I am leaving. I am leaving now. I am leaving. Good God all my.

SPEAKER_00: 12:23

No, I told him about you. He was like, I know.

SPEAKER_01: 12:28

Oh, but that it's quite serious, you know. This is actually a good little example of it, you see, because they were now able to have a little bit of fun about something that is not business related and that then will allow us to have a uh get them more ease into the business conversation. So, for instance, the other example I would give you is that I cut last week after the the Bears beat the the Packers, if I was a Packers fan, I would definitely have gone to every single business networking event wearing a Packers shirt or a Packers tie. Because what happens, the first thing that would be happening is people would be saying, ah, you couldn't beat us, or there'll be some reference like that. If you're going to a networking event, is there something you can wear that might be a conversation starter? Is it a college alum pin or a tie? Is it if you're a Cubs supporter or Cubs fan, is it a Cubs jacket or a tie or something like that? That allows the other person to start a conversation with you. And similarly, if you start a conversation with someone else and I see your husband and he's wearing a Manchester City shirt, well, I won't talk with him, but but I will say to the person next to him, you look like a nice guy, not like the person here is wearing the Man City shirt, okay? No, that's obviously exaggeration, but I think it's a really powerful little trick. So wear something that is either distinctive or allows for a conversation starter, or when you see someone wearing something similar that allows for a conversation starter, that's the conversation starter.

SPEAKER_00: 14:04

Yeah, so that is perfect if you don't know how to start a conversation. You make it a little bit easier, you give them a prompt with a physical cue on what you guys can talk about.

SPEAKER_01: 14:21

Yeah, yeah. So if that conversation starts, then I think after a short little bit you can say something like, Well, uh, what brings you here? Which is kind of a very general question, but I think it's the better way to start it rather than what do you do? And uh then you can have your little short, I hate elevator pitches, but you have maybe just a short one-sentence response, I think, that allows the person to ask the question again. So if I was at an event and I was asked the question, what brings you here? I might say something, well, I'm actually I actually work with organizations that want to improve people, performance, and productivity with a smile, and I thought this would be a nice event to attend. Stop there. Now, what's gonna happen? The person I'm speaking to is going to ask, Well, how do you do that? And then that allows the conversation to go again. So I think this theory of the elevator pitch is I just don't think it makes a whole lot of sense. And from my own experience, uh Sarah, uh, as I think we mentioned yesterday, I do a lot of work with people who are in job search. No, it's not an income stream of mine, it's just a a real passion of mine. And I'm often at events where you might have 20 people in a networking room trying to looking for jobs, and they go around the room and they all do their 30-second networking pitch. After the second person, no one is listening.

SPEAKER_00: 15:51

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01: 15:52

It's just wallpaper. So I do suggest that if you're in conversation with someone, try to pull back on the 30-second pitch and just say something that really encourages the other person to say, Well, how do you do that? Or what do you mean?

SPEAKER_00: 16:09

Yeah, that is a really good point. So I I did this 30-day experiment where I did 40 networking calls in 30 days, and I tracked all my progress. And that's one thing that I noticed is that when people have this prepared, overly polished elevator speech, it's so ingenuine, it's hard to connect with them. It feels like you are just another task on their list that they're crossing off. And having maybe a story or some or some sort of prompt that would get someone to say, Well, how do you do that? What what's your process? That would be a lot more interesting. It's an interaction, it's it's a prompt and response over a speech.

SPEAKER_01: 17:04

Right. Yeah. And the other thing that is being over overly polished is that I remember, as I said, do a fair bit of coaching with the job seekers. I was doing one over in Oak Brook a few years back, and someone in the financial services industry gave me an elevator pitch. And I said, Look, I'm in a coaching environment here. I haven't got a clue, what you said. Because what happens with a lot of the elevator pitches is they use the industry jargon, which is only going to be relevant to the person in the industry that knows that. The other 95% of people haven't got a clue what it is, and they're walking away and saying, I don't know what he does.

SPEAKER_00: 17:47

Yeah, I'm American. So what is that?

SPEAKER_01: 17:51

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's just that the level of gobbledygook that's used in elevator pictures is extraordinary at times.

SPEAKER_00: 18:00

Yeah, I've that is very accurate. You write your elevator speech, and it ends up being so saturating your message so much, it's almost you can't understand at all what that means anymore. It's so much jargon and just you centered. So your prompt response advice better. Is there anything else we should know for networking when you're introverted?

SPEAKER_01: 18:30

Uh yes, I think the uh question you should ask yourself is what do you want the people you're interacting with to say about you after you have left? Yes.

SPEAKER_00: 18:44

You ma you mentioned that yesterday, and I was like, yes, let's talk about that. So how do you do that?

SPEAKER_01: 18:52

Well, I think I I think the answer should be that. So if I meet you and have a chat with you, you've met another 15 people. What I want you to remember about me is that hey, he was very helpful. Okay, just just that answer. Uh, because if I remember that he was very helpful or she was very helpful, but I'm going to remember other things about the person as well. But if you give me the gobbledygook elevator pitch that I don't remember anything about, I'm not going to remember anything about you. So I think when you're at a networking event, if you can offer some deliberate help or advice, relevant advice to the people you're speaking with, well, they're going to be way more interested again in you. They're going to appreciate you more and they are going to remember you. Whereas if I just spend my time saying what I do and how wonderful I am and why people hire me, etc. I'm not. I just turn on after a while. So if you can find somebody at the network event that will allow the person to say, he or she was really helpful. They're going to remember you. They're going to take a call the next time, they're going to connect with you on LinkedIn.

SPEAKER_00: 20:08

Okay. So that just made me think you can kind of reverse engineer that conversation a little bit. You to be interested rather than interesting. So ask questions that would pull out some of the reasons that they're there. What are the challenges they're going through so you can be helpful and stand out as that person who wasn't trying to get, get, get, but give, give, give.

SPEAKER_01: 20:33

Yeah, yeah. And if you go back to the point we did about research earlier. So I go to this networking event and I realize there's a few people there from let's say industry, let's say they're in the healthcare environment or something like that, and a specific section of healthcare. You actually get to meet them, but maybe when you've done your research, you might actually do one of two things. One is trying to understand what the challenges that that industry has. And also, is there something online or something published that you might be able to reference to the person and say, all right, hey, by the way, I actually saw a really good article yesterday on the high cost of insurance in Illinois. Pass it on to you. So what you now do is you're able to get that person's contact details the following day or after you leave the meeting, you're able to email them with that detail as well. So you're coming across as being a resource, a helpful resource to that person.

SPEAKER_00: 21:31

Okay. That just made me think that. So some of the techniques that I teach inside niche networker, which is a mission we do inside of my program, is around, well, all of it is about networking. But one thing is when you're going on a networking or a prospecting call, be prepared with a get and a give. So do a little research and see what would they need from me? What would be helpful for them? And be prepared with that thing that you'd really like to support them with. Maybe it's connecting them with a community, for example. And the other thing is be prepared with a get, because typically when you help someone, the other person is, well, how can I help you? What can I do to help you? And you never know what to ask in the moment. So just having that prepared ahead of time, what would I ask if they prompted that?

unknown: 22:30

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01: 22:30

And then in fact, what you were raising is the most important question you can ask at a networking event. What can I do to help them? Yes. That is if you, after having a conversation with someone, have not asked that question, you're missing a beat.

SPEAKER_00: 22:46

Yes. Yes, 100%. Oh, and the last thing that I wanted to connect is you said have something that you can give them afterwards. So it would prompt continuing that conversation. That's something you could also do in these prospecting calls too. What is a reason that you would need to have a conversation again? Maybe you invite them to an opportunity to speak in a community. Maybe you're introducing them to something, but have something available to deepen that relationship so you have a reason to connect again.

SPEAKER_01: 23:17

Absolutely. Because a one off conversation, you you've got to find be able to sow the seeds to be able to keep going with that conversation. The other point, Sarah, that I think is really important, and I strongly believe in this. The most impactful word that you can use when you're speaking with me is Connor. The most impactful word I think when I'm speaking with you is Sarah. And it I the when you're in conversation with someone at a networking event or a business call, at least once or twice in that call address them specifically with their name. It creates a visceral connection. And I am absolutely convinced the most impactful word in any conversation is the person's name.

SPEAKER_00: 24:06

Yeah, I can see that. When someone says my name, it does draw my attention because a lot of times it's conversation, conversation, back to back to back. You might not even remember what my name is when you're talking to me. So the fact that you did and you actually used it will draw me back in if I drift it at all.

SPEAKER_01: 24:29

When I'm on the business calls here, so uh most of them tend to be uh virtual now. If I'm registered, a telephone call, I'm making a telephone call to a client or a potential client, I will actually write their name down and uh red marker on a piece of paper, put that down the desk in front of me. I stand when I'm making the business call and I make sure that once or twice in that conversation I drop their name and does help to build just ever so slightly another little way to build that link between you and the the client or the person you're networking with.

SPEAKER_00: 25:04

Yeah, that's really smart. Okay, so we're at time. So how can people connect with you, work with you, find you online?

SPEAKER_01: 25:16

Right. Well, uh what I would say is that for your husband, okay, if he wants to know we're good for politics, and stop watching that rubbish Manchester City. Uh but the brand is Irishman Speaks, all one word, Irishman Speaks. It's Connor Caneen, as you can see, their camera is only with one N. My parents could not afford two N's back in Ireland. So yeah, all of my LinkedIn activity, Twitter, X, Instagram, TikTok, etc., is under Irishman Speaks, all one word. But I speak a lot to associations and organizations that want to improve the people, performance, and productivity with a smile. I do a lot of work speaking to job seekers, not an income stream. I've got a number of uh job seeker videos up on my YouTube channel as well under Irishman Speaks. And there's a playlist there for job seekers as well if there are people who want to have a look at that also.

SPEAKER_00: 26:14

Brilliant. So check that out. And I know that there are associations that listen to this show, so pay attention, associations that are listening right now.

SPEAKER_01: 26:25

All right.

SPEAKER_00: 26:25

Thank you for joining me.

SPEAKER_01: 26:27

There it's been an absolute pleasure. Stay warm up there in Barrington.

SPEAKER_00: 26:30

You stay warm too.

SPEAKER_01: 26:33

All right, cheers.

SPEAKER_00: 26:34

Bye. If this episode made things feel a little more doable, I'd love to help you take the next step with the booked out blueprint. It's a practical, low pressure session to clarify your offers, your marketing, and what actually moves the needle. You can book yours through the link in the show notes. You don't have to figure it out alone.