I think back to Genesis , chapter two . I think about the first lie ever spoken was from Satan to Eve , did God really say ? Often we hear that , quoted as though Satan is trying to question the history , the memory of what Eve remembers God saying , but in the original language what we actually discover is that Satan is questioning the goodness of God . He's mocking the character of God . It's like he's going oh , is that what God said ? Oh , really , god said that . What happens is it seeps into our hearts that God is not good , seeps into our hearts that God is not good .
Speaker 2Yes , friends , this is one of those . So how did that work out for you , ray ? Segments where we try to find out how that worked out for you Ray . Ray got a bunch of little chickies . Chickies Ray got a bunch of bunch of little chickies . Chickies Ray got a bunch of little chickies Ray . Do you regret your decision ?
Speaker 3Oh no , I was absolutely excited about it . I called to get them delivered from Ohio . I wanted eight and the lady said 15 costs the same amount or even cheaper . So I said I'll get 15 then . So she talked me into it and then because Sue didn't know anything about it , it was a surprise . She didn't want the chickens . A surprise or a torment . Well , a surprise , it's a surprise . You can't send them back . Anyway , decided to give half to Daniel . So we gave seven to Daniel and we counted last night and there was 10 left , which isn't 15 . We worked out it's actually 17 . They sent 17 ? They sent an extra 2 , which I thought was wonderful because I love things in tens because of the Ten Commandments , and so we now got 10 little chicks . They're so cute . I sent a video to Mark .
Speaker 2Yeah , you sent videos . I saw the video .
Speaker 3I was working on the coop , kasu leaned in to feed the chicks and she got scratched by a little bit of metal that was sticking up about a tenth of an inch , even less . So I got the hammer and hammered it in and hit my finger and I couldn't figure out what my finger was doing , what my finger was doing over it . It wasn't a nail I had to hold , so I've now got a black fingernail .
Speaker 2Yeah , I think your extremities like have a brain of their own .
Speaker 3I think that's why you keep hurting yourself , because like an octopus , yeah no , I dropped a mug last night and smashed it , but I didn't hurt myself , but that wasn't my fault , it was gravity again oh , that gravity thing just always let you down , remember we were talking about this .
Speaker 2Right , I said you should . You should get a machine put over your entire house where your house becomes anti-gravity . I'd like that , and then you'd be like in the International Space Station . Do you ever get floaters Floating around On the ice ? Do you ever get floaters ? Yeah , you follow it around .
Speaker 3Yeah , do you get floaters ? Yeah , I mean , you can play a game , hit them off the side .
Speaker 2Yeah , Ray . So you sent us a video of your little chickies . They're so cute . Okay , but Rachel and I were talking about this . Why do they ? Chickens are ugly . You have to be honest .
Speaker 1Little chicks aren't ? No , no chickens . You pick your chickens like this , right Chickens Adult , like full .
Speaker 2Chicks are the cutest little things in the world . I think chickens are cool .
Speaker 3But it's the same with humans . They're so cute as little babies usually ugly .
Speaker 1actually , I use this as a sermon illustration .
Speaker 3Well , hang on . No , they're ugly when they first come out . I don't look at them for about two years , but when they're about two years they start to look really good .
Speaker 1I use this as a sermon illustration because little chicks , they're so cute . You know , when we're first born , everyone wants to hold a baby . Everybody loves babies . When we become adults , we know our utility . Chickens you know their utility , the in-between phase of a chick and a chicken , when they're like aliens .
Speaker 3That's your teenage years , that's true . Do you know what I learned ? I'd learn ? If you stroke the beak of a chicken , it makes it go . Uh , hypnotized , oh yeah when they're really when you hold them , uh , when you hold them on their back too , right , yeah , that's , so you can kill them easy . I guess they turn them on the back . They just go very placid , even if they're struggling but , you just start .
Speaker 3when a little chick grows up to about seven inches high , you just rub the top of its beak and it'll just go hypnotized . One of our videos does it right took witness to a guy who showed how to hypnotize a chick and how you can get the attention of a sinner by appealing let's try it on Mark right now .
Speaker 2Yeah , yeah , stroke Mark's nose , mark's done .
Speaker 3I really didn't like to touch it .
Speaker 2So , ray , my question is what would happen ? Because you have these little ? I don't like where this is going . No , no , this is going somewhere Because you put these little chicks in like a little box or something , right ?
Speaker 3They came in a box .
Speaker 2No , no , but I mean , you put them in a , you separate them from your other chickens .
Speaker 3Yeah , but you haven't seen what we did . This whole cupboard area . I um I saw you put a lamp in there for him .
Speaker 2Yeah , it's to keep warm yeah , but it's not a it's like not a heat lamp . It's a heat lamp , oh it is it's infrared .
Speaker 3Oh yeah , okay . So what would happen ? Yeah , easy , I'm actually slowly cooking them .
Speaker 1When they get older , you gotta feed them cayenne for like two years .
Speaker 2Roasted yeah , living marinade six a six year slow roast chicken . Really funny , it'd be really good . So , ray , what would happen if you released those chicks in with the general chicken ?
Speaker 3population . They'd kill them , the big ones , would they really ?
Speaker 2Yeah .
Speaker 3Yeah , probably .
Speaker 2There's a pecking order , but their mothering instinct , because they're little chicks the whole of creation is in a fallen state .
Speaker 3Last night I clicked on a video about chickens and it had a mother with the chickens and the mother went too close to a horse and the horse just ate one of the chickens .
Speaker 2Stop Horses , don't eat chickens . That's what .
Speaker 3I thought . I thought you don't eat chickens . But the mother goes oh , what'd you do that for ? And then and the mother walked off saying , well , that's too late , it's gone .
Speaker 1I didn't realize you knew chicken it was down the hatch .
Speaker 3We where they produce . They hatch 50,000 chicks a day in Ohio and it was just fascinating the whole process . They've got incubators where they just wheel in 50,000 eggs . They come back as chicks a few hours later and they heat them off , so they go nice and fluffy and then ship them out every day 50,000 .
Speaker 2So it arrived in a box , thank you , oh they . They sorry . It arrived in a box and they're all tweeting away . And it arrived in a box . Or they arrived in a box , thank you , oh they .
Speaker 3they Sorry it arrived in a box and they're all tweeting away and it was actually . It got delivered to the ministry and it was sitting up tweeting away on the thing and I actually looked in the wrong box . It was a box full of books because I heard the tweets . But yeah , they're all quite happy and they're all gathered together . They have yes , it's a special one , I think it was a heating pad came with it .
Speaker 1It should be noted , raised chickens are unique because most chickens chirp .
Speaker 2If you listen closely , raised chickens go Yip yip , yip , right yip , right yip , yip , yip , yip , yip , yip , yip yip , yip , yip , yip , yip , yip , yip , yip , yip , yip , yip , yip , yip .
Speaker 3New Zealanders and Australians go yep right when you talk to them . Put a phone call through New Zealand and say hey , how's the weather down there ?
Speaker 2well , yeah , I was new to the comfort family , rachel and I just started our relationship and I'd come over and you'd be talking to your sister or mom or someone in New Zealand and every other .
Speaker 3Oh , yep , right oh , yep , that's nice oh yep , yep how long ago was that easy ? About 30 years , and every phone call that you have ever made to me begins with yep right , yep , yep yep right , yep , yep , yep right .
Speaker 3I'd be on the East Coast and I'd be being driven around by a pastor and his staff and I'm saying I'm going to call my son-in-law . When he answers the phone , we're going on speakerphone . He's going to say yep right , yep right . When he answers the phone , you come on . Yep right , yep right , yep , yep right . The American equivalent is okay , you know , you listen to America . On the phone . He says okay , okay , okay , okay , oh , interesting , okay .
Speaker 2Uh-huh , and we don't think twice about that . Yep , right , right , yep , yep , yep , right , all right , friends . Another cool , classy comment . This is from ranger7002 , and the subject line says Hello friends and easy Hello friends . I just wanted to thank you guys so much for the huge blessing you've been Listening to . This podcast has had a big impact on my spiritual walk . It's helped me come closer to my Creator and convicted me to read my Bible daily , praise God . I love EZ's humor that makes me laugh every episode , while also bringing so much biblical knowledge and wisdom that convicts and encourages me . I love Oscar's insights and detailed breakdowns of biblical truths and how he makes it easy to understand , and I love Ray's wisdom and experience , how he's always encouraging believers to go out and spread the gospel news . I love Mark's honesty and humility when it comes to discussing difficult topics and , by the way , I'm Team Oscar on the coffee dispute . Let's go . Sorry , easy , you're just wrong . I love you , my brothers , blessings , and God be with you .
Speaker 3Wrapped in love , which is wonderful .
Speaker 2Sincerely , logan , you had me until the coffee thing , logan , I was wrapped in love .
Speaker 3It said love at the end . Like people say I love you , Ray , but I hate you . Yeah , exactly .
Speaker 2I love you , ranger7002 . We're glad you listened , brother . God bless you , keep listening .
Speaker 1All right .
Speaker 2Friends , here's another radically revolutionary resource . Anyone but me . Ten ways to overcome your fear and be prepared to share the gospel .
Speaker 3Speaking of that , have I ever told you the invention I made of a zipped-up comforter ? No , yeah , you know how husbands and wives are always husband's too hot , wife's too cold and one flings the covers off . A zip right down the middle so you can zip it down , flings off and you're cool and wife's hot Isn't that just called a sleeping bag .
Speaker 3No , no , no , this is like you know what a comforter is the top blanket , and it just has a zip down it so you can choose to have it off and on without disturbing your I was going to say partner , your wife or your husband , Ray we should invent that , you and I , we should start a company .
Speaker 4It's called a sleeping bag .
Speaker 2Easy , comfort .
Speaker 3Sleeping bags are completely different you have sleeping bags .
Speaker 4you have no children , Pretty sure you just explained sleeping bags no , they have all different kinds of sleeping bags , just like what you mentioned .
Speaker 2No , mark , they literally do . No , it's a sleeping bag . You know what's interesting ? It zips
up .
Speaker 1But Ray brings up a good point . Like you know , women tend to sleep cold , men tend to sleep hot , women tend to sleep on a mattress .
Speaker 2Men tend to sleep in a hole . Speaking on a hole , yeah , right , yeah , how would that work in your hole , ray ?
Speaker 3Mm-hmm In the hole , jesus Christ shall make you whole . It's a Bible verse .
Speaker 2Yeah , all right , friends , don't forget Anyone but me . 10 Ways to Overcome their Fear . Be prepared to share the gospel . It's a book by Raymond Comfort . Don't call me Raymond , I don't like that .
Speaker 3It takes me back to reason my aunts with great big red lipstick lips , kissing me and calling me Raymond the reaction is instant .
Speaker 2The second , raymond looked at you his eyes going anyway , then kill me .
Speaker 3What's your middle name ? Marshall ? That's her upholder of the law .
Speaker 2Spencer , marshall , yeah , marshall . And don't forget , friends , the Living Waters mug from which you can chug in the Evidence Study Bible all at livingwaterscom . Shame on you , oscar . All right , friends . Today we're talking about the sin of Christians being unequally yoked .
Speaker 4Does this have anything to do with Oscar not eating yolks for breakfast ? Oscar ?
Speaker 3Ever , told you about the bumper bar that I invented to stop head-on collisions .
Speaker 2The bumper bar .
Speaker 3Yeah , on the front of cars you have , instead of a flat bumper , you have it in a big V like that , so you could never have a head-on collision as long as the other car had a V bumper . If it didn't , you're going to split the car in two .
Speaker 3Also , yeah , let's forget the guy on the sidewalk that you run into as you're driving your car and also parking is kind of difficult , and then if you tailgate and hit the car from behind when he stops , you split that in two . But if everyone joined in and had front and back V bumpers , there'd be no more head-on collisions .
Speaker 1I'm kind of realizing Ray is like the Willy Wonka of evangelism .
Speaker 2I can handle that . Yes , pretty much .
Speaker 4That is actually the most accurate description I've ever heard of Ray .
Speaker 3I don't know who Willy Wonka is . Is that Chocolate Factory ?
Speaker 2Yeah , an inventor . I like chocolate . Behold , the Lord's anointed Gives me pimples . You know , ray , I recently took your family to a Knott's Berry Farm .
Speaker 3It's Knott's Berry Farm , Knott's Knott's Berry . Knott's Berry Farm . The emphasis in the right place .
Speaker 2Yeah , and we went on the bumper cars You're talking about bumping in cars and I was very disappointed They've been around for years . I know I wanted to hurt your relatives , but they didn't go fast enough . Oh , that's right , arab background , it was miserable . Yeah , so guys , man being unequally yoked it seems like it's no yoke .
Speaker 2No yoke . It ain't no yoke , but it seems like the further we get on in this whole Christian experience , like the longer the church is around my sense is that the more and more this principle is ignored , and I really want us to explore this today and I'm going to look at it from a few different aspects . But all of us here are married men and we understand the challenges that marriage brings with it . We all know marriage is one of the most beautiful , amazing and God-given things , are you going to say , but in a minute ? No . However , it really is amazing and it's beautiful and it's wonderful . Sometimes you hear people make it sound like the most miserable thing in the world . It is beautiful . I absolutely love being married , but the key to that is is all often found in who you're married to . But even believers understand there are challenges , because you wake up , you know after you're married and you realize you're married to a sinner , the morning breath gives that away .
Speaker 3That's the new revelation it's yours bouncing off the wall .
Speaker 1I was about to say , in the middle of the night , you screaming zip it , zelda gave it away . How did you remember that ?
Speaker 2oscar . Wow , I can't believe you remember what was that about ? No , I had a . You guys know , I have night terrors and I I sleep we have day terrors of me I sleep , sleep talk , sleepwalk , sleep , preach , sleep , rap . And one time I had a dream . I don't know what it was , but Rachel was there in my dream . And next thing I know , I say it out loud , and Rachel wakes up to zip it Zelda .
Speaker 3Is that what you said to her ?
Speaker 4Remember at the beginning of your marriage you were choking on was an elephant .
Speaker 3What was that Nipple cover on an elephant ?
Speaker 4nipple cover . What is that ?
Speaker 2We were newly married . We were newly married man . We're going to hit 28 years coming up here next month .
Speaker 3And it's to each other .
Speaker 2Yeah , but we were newly married and I think they started when I got married . I don't know , maybe because someone else is in the room in my bed , I don't know , but I started getting a dream that .
Speaker 3I was Say that again .
Speaker 2Stop it , recover . I was having a dream that I was somewhere and there was an elephant and the elephant you know how , like baby bottles , have a cover for the nipple . Yeah , the elephant had a big cover . You know nipple cover . You can say elephant , nipple with that . It just sounds weird . Next thing , I knew I swallowed it in my dream . So I get out of bed . Rachel couldn't sleep . She was up and she was reading the Bible in the living room .
Speaker 1It was like 1 am .
Speaker 2And I walk out and I go , what are you doing ? I was like , just , and she goes , I'm reading the Bible , I go , I just swallowed an elephant's nipple cover .
Speaker 4And I'm like , I'm gagging .
Speaker 3Do you need marriage counseling ?
Speaker 1Did she need marriage counseling ?
Speaker 2Did she call ?
Speaker 1the pastor .
Speaker 2Seriously that like yeah , that changed her view . What did ?
Speaker 4she do .
Speaker 2What was her reaction ? She got scared .
Speaker 4Hey , what happened ?
Speaker 3All four foot ten mother had no . All this should have come out before the marriage fell .
Speaker 2How many people would have experienced that ? You know their husband , I go call 911 . You did not . Yes , I did .
Speaker 1Rachel deserves an award . Yeah , I , rachel deserves an award , I don't know what award but she needs an award , so anyhow , that's so we're going to get people to write in and tell us about their dreams ?
Speaker 2Oh no , but that's what you call being seriously unequally yoked , like to marry a psychopath like that .
Speaker 3But , guys , this is really .
Speaker 2Guys yo , guys yo , but this really is . I mean , we're joking around , but this is really a serious , serious pandemic . I think that has swept the church where more and more people who profess to be Christ members of churches are Profess to be Christians .
Speaker 3Yeah , I say profess to be .
Speaker 2Profess to be Christ , his new doctrine oh boy , yeah , that would be wacky but profess to be Christians and are going headlong into relationships with unbelievers and I know there are some of you listening now . Unquestionably , this is you . We're talking to you . You are right now professing Christ , but you are in a relationship with someone who is not born again and we love you . That's why we're doing this podcast . We love you , we care about you and we're all married men and , like I said , we understand the challenges that marriage brings with it , because we're fallen sinners . But then you add to that being married to a person who does not love your savior .
Speaker 3Man . And remember , when people aren't married , there's an act going on . You're seeing the best side of every person you are friends with or engaged to . You're not seeing the real thing . There are people who get to know someone before they're married and after they're married they have night terrors .
Speaker 2Poor Rachel . Yeah , but guys , let's go to the word on this , because this is what it all comes down to . What does God's word say ? 2 Corinthians , 6 , 14 to 18 . Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers . For what fellowship has righteousness with lawlessness ? And what communion has light with darkness ? And what accord has Christ with Belial ? Or what part has a believer with an unbeliever ? And what agreement has the temple of God with idols ? For you are the temple of the living God . As God has said , I will dwell in them and walk among them , I will be their God and they shall be my people . Therefore , come out from among them and be separate , says the Lord . Do not touch what is unclean and I will receive you . I will be a father to you and you shall be my sons and daughters , says the Lord Almighty .
So this is a very clear and a very serious passage that has application , obviously , to people who are in relationships with unbelievers , marital relationships with unbelievers and , oscar , I'd like to start with you on this .
Speaker 1Because my wife is married to an unborn . Yeah .
Speaker 2What did you say about Ray out there earlier in his picture on the wall ?
Speaker 1Can you believe he's got a picture up of him and his ex-girlfriend .
Speaker 3Yeah . I do too . Yeah , it's a big picture .
Speaker 2She's now your wife . So , oscar , I think a lot of people will begin with the excuse of well , this is talking about marriage , we're not married yet and so it's okay to be in a relationship , because maybe , maybe and this is often , I think , the justification is maybe God will use me to help reach them to come to Christ .
Speaker 1Yeah Well , I mean , that's just a very dangerous place to start , I think it . I think ultimately , you need to define what's the purpose of you know , whatever you call it dating , courting , being interested in somebody . If the purpose of that act , if that relationship is pleasure and joy one , I would argue that you're going about it , in general , in the wrong kind of way . The purpose of you courting , spending time with somebody , building relationships with somebody in that kind of a way , is for the purpose of marriage . If that's not your goal , you're wasting your time and you're putting yourself in danger of sin . So I would start there . And if that's true , then these verses make it so much more clear . But I think this Eze , I think back to Genesis 2 .
Speaker 1I think about the first lie ever spoken was from Satan to Eve . Did God really say ? Often we hear that quoted as though Satan is trying to question the history , the memory of what Eve remembers God saying . But in the original language , what we actually discover is that Satan is questioning the goodness of God , he's mocking the character of God . It's like he's going oh , is that what God said ? Oh , really , god said that .
Speaker 1What happens is it seeps into our hearts that God is not good right , and if that is something we believe in our heart of hearts , then when we meet somebody that is not a believer , in our minds , that lie or I should say in our hearts that lie is starting to take effect . Well , maybe God doesn't know what I really want , the kind of person I really want . Maybe God isn't interested in bringing somebody that will satisfy me . Maybe we start to question the goodness of God and when we do that , what we end up doing is the same thing that Adam and Eve do , is that we make ourselves into our own gods , we take control of our own lives and we say , okay , I'm going to take control in this area . I'm going to go find me somebody that's suitable in my own eyes .
Speaker 2Wow , yeah , that is , and I write about it in my book where I talk about what book's that ? Oh , fight Like a man , a Bold Biblical Battle Plan for Personal Purity . But yeah , it's the whole issue of basically making gods out of ourselves . Right , you will be like God ultimately , knowing good from evil and really the thrust of it is . You will be like god , ultimately , knowing good from evil and really the thrust of it is . You will become the arbiter of what is right and wrong in your own life . You know it's crazy but , ray , I think sometimes some people will disobey god in this regard and get into relationships with , with an unbeliever , because they're desperate , they're getting older , they haven't been married yet and here's someone who's interested in them and they're nice and they're wonderful and they're friendly and they compromise .
Speaker 3Sounds fine to me , what ? You built it up too much for me . Easy to come back and say , no , that's sin , but it is . Someone who's become unequally yoked with an unbeliever is probably already secretly unequally yoked with the world .
Speaker 2Ooh , Explain , Explain Ray .
Speaker 3Yeah , the Bible says whoever's a friend of the world is an enemy of God . And it takes well . Christian is someone who lays down their will . They present their bodies as a living sacrifice , holy , acceptable to God , which is a reasonable service . They say not my will but yours be done . And it takes me back to Rachel's getting a lot this time on this program . But what about green ? Do you remember that story ?
Speaker 2Yes .
Speaker 3I was in the shower . This was about 200 years ago and Rachel was about two feet high . She was just a little kid . And she calls out when I'm in the shower , dad , I'm working on a project for school and I need to have a heading that stands out . And I thought , wow , this is so good , my daughter's coming to me . I'm a publisher , I publish books and tracks and I know what works color wise and heading wise . And she wants to know when I says you know , black background with yellow heading can be very powerful . And she called back what about green ? And I thought , well , she doesn't want the yellow . So I said , well , the second best thing , and it's not as good as the yellow . But you have a black background and a red heading . And she says what about green ? And I says green . Then she said thanks , dad , and ran off . And that's how we can be with prayer . That's really good .
Speaker 3Oh Lord , I really like this guy . He's great . What do you think ? No , don't be unequally yoked . Yeah , but he's really nice . What about green ? I want my will , not yours , and that's what we do . Run off the other direction and say , praise the Lord , I'll marry this guy who turns out to be a glutton a cigarette smoking , an alcoholic who beats his wife up . You should have known what you're getting into .
Speaker 2Yeah , yeah . And when you said that , Ray , it reminded me of the whole . When a wife , when a husband asks his wife , where do you want to eat ? She says anywhere you want , and then he brings up a thousand Nope , nope , nope , nope , nope , nope . Okay , you really don't want to eat where I want .
Speaker 1I just saw somebody post this . The trick is , next time they get in the car , just be like guess where I'm taking you for dinner and whatever they say , that's where you're going .
Speaker 2That's a good one that's clever here , man . He really goes to town on this because he doesn't just say don't be unequally yoked together with unbelievers , but then he starts to give a number of examples of why this is illogical . For what fellowship has righteousness with lawlessness ? And what communion has light with darkness ? And what accord has Christ with Belial or Satan ? I mean , that's huge . And I think oftentimes Christians rushing into stuff like this aren't thinking about the massive contrast , they're just looking at the exterior stuff .
Speaker 4Yeah , and it's funny how you word that they're not thinking , because here's Paul trying to reason with its readers on what's going on there . I want you to think through this . Right , it's good to reason , but we don't just reason amongst ourselves , we reason with the Lord . Come , let us reason together . And there's nothing reasonable about a non-Christian getting together with a Christian , a non-Christian Christian and a non-Christian . Yes , I remember I had sent a text to a friend of mine who is kind of struggling with a family member who's kind of unequally yoked with a nonbeliever , and I said you should ask your friend , your family member .
Speaker 4Just throw some reality in the midst of this , because if you marry this person , the nonbeliever is not going to enjoy you tithing , not going to enjoy you going to church . They may go to church with you for a little while , but after a while , if it's a good , solid , bible-believing church , they're going to pull away from church . Are you going to be okay with not having family devotions ? Are you going to be okay with not getting godly wisdom and advice ? Because the advice of the world is not just bad advice , it's demonic advice . It's the exact opposite of what you need . The honeymoon is going to end very , very soon and you're going to wake up and you're going to be thinking to yourself what did I do when your non-believing spouse gazes a little bit too long at the opposite sex ? What are you going to say ? I mean , there's no moral foundation for which they're going to be judged by because they don't adhere to the Bible , they don't love the God in whom you proclaim . Yeah , and everything within you is going to be different and opposite of what you married . Because you're infatuated with what ? Because everything about the person is manufactured to some degree . Even their beauty is going to fade . There's going to be a 2025 model or version that's going to come up . What is it that you have in common with them ? So you're not going to be able to grow the way the Lord intended for you to grow and you're going to be submitting to terrible leadership
.
Speaker 4If you're a woman , you're married to a man . Wow , it's the exact opposite of what God designed . So God is not trying to keep you from having a wonderful time with someone . He's trying to preserve you and to present to you the absolute , perfect piece of the puzzle to complete you and him , and that's the design of God when it comes to marriage , your spouse the puzzle to complete you and him , and that's the design of God . When it comes to marriage , your spouse is supposed to complete you , and what you've done is you're saying , no , I enjoy being incomplete and I know better than God . And this is a farce in the face of God . And what you sow , boy , you're going to reap corruption in this .
Speaker 1Yeah that's heavy . I love what you said , mark , and I completely agreed . God is not trying to keep you from joy . We talked about this in another podcast recently . Rather , he's inviting you into something so much better . And so oftentimes I think , when we get stuck or fixated on someone who's unequally yoked in that season of life , is that we're settling for something less than what God has in store for us , which is something so much better .
Speaker 1It reminds me when my son was really little . He had done something and I had told him he's going to get a Lego and my plan we live right here in Orange County and so we have Disneyland in downtown Disney , there's the Lego factory , and so my plan in my mind was like I'm going to take Levi to the Lego factory and he's just going to love walking around there . He's going to pick something amazing . But a few days before we go there , we walk into I don't know , it was like a whatever just a small little store and they had this little 99 cent Lego and he goes . That one he's like two , three years old , that's the one I want .
Speaker 1I go . No , buddy . No , that's not the one you want . He goes . No , that's the one I want this one . I'm like no dude , like trust me , that's not the Lego I have for you . You know what I mean . And a few days later we go to the Lego factory and we walk through the front door and his eyes just light up . I mean there's millennium Falcons and there's Death Stars and there's rows and rows and Legos , and there's that little tiny Lego that he wanted so badly . He didn't even notice it . He walked right by it into the joy that I had in store for him . And so often that is what's happening with us is that we settle for something so much less than what God has in store for us .
Speaker 2That's right , exactly , and , ray , you often share this quote and I think this is so applicable to this . First , I fear God .
Speaker 3Next , I fear him . That fears him not .
Speaker 2Right . I mean , you're marrying someone who does not . It doesn't matter what they say . If they're not born again , they don't truly fear God , and there's a lot to fear about what they may do .
Speaker 3Yeah , I think it's an allegorist of unequally yoked would be oxen , would I be correct ? Yeah , and if you have oxen that are unequally yoked , they're not going to go in the other direction , they're going to go in circles . Wow , and so that's what happens . You just go nowhere . Mark , you're talking about husbands that you're unequally yoked to . What happens when he gets into pornography where he says I don't want you to teach my kids about this religion stuff ? What does a wife do then ? So we need to look ahead , and I love the analogy of the Lego .
Speaker 2I thought you were going to say grab that little one and run off . Mark , I'm glad Ray brought that up because this was on my mind right now . Look , we know the pandemic that is infiltrating men in the church today and that's pornography . And you would be hard-pressed to find a man . And this is for the sisters that are listening today who are struggling with this because some guy is sweet-talking them and they're considering maybe it's fine . And you know , I relate it to someone putting their hands on their ears and just running and screaming so they don't hear something that they need to hear . You know , when people do this , they just want to just get me , you know , to the other side of the altar . Then I'll repent , lord forgive me . Okay , but Mark , it is very unlikely that a woman who's going to marry a worldly ungodly , unsaved man that he's not watching pornography .
Speaker 4Absolutely . I was at a church with Ray in Corona about 20 , 25 years ago and Ray said some of you have a problem with pornography . You need to repent . And then he said some of you don't have a problem with pornography , and that's your problem . You don't have a problem with pornography , you just watch it over and over again , you've engulfed yourself in it . You need to repent .
Speaker 4And that latter stage is like marrying a non-believer Because , listen , sin is so progressive and so deadly it doesn't stop until it gets what it really wants . Right , if you read the testimony of Jeffrey Dahmer , he started off by taking walks by himself because he was a loner inside of these alleyways . Walks by himself because he was a loner inside of these alleyways , these ditches rather , and inside the ditch . He said he found an adult magazine , like a Playboy magazine , and he said he started to read that magazine , looking at it . And then he said it was progressive that he went from there to getting worse and worse magazines and looking at worse things , until he had to have a prostitute , until he had to rape the prostitute , until you had to rape somebody who wasn't a prostitute , until you had to murder the person . It was progressive and that's what sin is .
Speaker 4So if you marry someone and we , by nature , have been designed to go all the way in a sexual way , right , you haven't been designed to just kiss , right ? You go all the way . And then what happens ? Your mind starts to wander , and your mind starts to wander about other people , and so you start looking at pornography . You'll never be satisfied . It's always designed to go deeper , deeper , deeper . And now you engage in illicit behaviors with other people . And now what happens is your spouse doesn't come home that night for some reason , had to work late in the office , right , you know . And now you're just second guessing everything because you're trying to grow spiritually . If you're a believer , you're reading God's word , you're trying to fellowship with other people , and now you're really recognizing the tumultuous war that you're in . Yeah , wow .
Speaker 2And it hits you . Yeah , and there's a sense , I think , before someone gets married , that they again , they want that trophy , if you would , they want to secure that prize and just have it . And there's all these ideals going on through their mind and this is what a lot of people think . Well , problems that we have before we're married will be resolved once we're married . That is one of the most illogical , unreasonable things imaginable . They amplify it .
Speaker 4Yeah , it's exasperated .
Speaker 2Exactly , marriage magnifies any pre-existing problems especially , you know , men will sometimes put the best foot forward and then they get that trophy or prize and then they just let down their guard . And then you see it , you're talking about becoming one with someone , right ? You're blending two lives , you're integrating everything , and now you're sharing a house , a room , a bed with that person . You're sharing finances . You're sharing decisions . You're sharing children . You're sharing decisions . You're sharing children . Can you imagine your children having a father or a mother that doesn't know and love Christ and the impact that that'll have on the shaping of their character , on their soul , their salvation , in terms of the influence of the gospel ?
Speaker 4And they wanna watch a movie and there's a foul language and there's the blasphemy and there's nudity and they're just like what is the big deal ? And your kids are right there .
Speaker 1Well , here's the thing too , because I think that somebody might be hearing us and going well , so what are you saying ? If I marry a believer , he's not going to struggle with sin . You're guaranteeing he's not going to struggle with porn , that he's not going to do those things ? No , because that might happen . But think about it like this Think about your marriage in the context of a local church sitting under the authority of elders man .
Speaker 1My wife and your wives , in degrees , are protected by our sin because if they catch us in sin , they can go to our friends , they can go to our pastor , who's gonna pursue us and hold us accountable . And so if you are unequally yoked with someone , they're gonna be like what do I wanna sit down and talk to your pastor ? For what do I wanna sit down and talk to those guys at the church ? For I don't care about that kind of stuff , right ? So , even like , if you're equally yoked , you're both sitting under the protection of the authority of the local church , which is for your good , and if you don't do that , man , you're inviting chaos into your life .
Speaker 2I just think of the number of couples , or , like a believer , that I would have pleaded with don't marry this person and they didn't listen . And it reminds me of Proverbs 1 , right when wisdom calls aloud right .
Speaker 2And then they don't listen and they end up eating the fruit of their own way . They cry out for wisdom , but wisdom mocks and laughs , and really the thrust behind that is that , man , it's too late , right ? You've already enmeshed your life in this way and you can't reverse that in a sense , and the damage has been done . Ray , you've been married longer than all of us here at this table combined . I think it's 53 years you and Sue have been married 50 , what I don't know .
Speaker 3Not in 70 , 54 years . 54 years To each other .
Speaker 2How grateful to the Lord are you that you're married to a godly woman who loves you oh absolutely .
Speaker 3I wouldn't be where I am now if I didn't have Sue supporting me and all I do . She's just such a hard , hard worker in everything she does and she's always been supportive . We pray together and read the Word together , so we really . She has been my best friend through the whole marriage and we're yoked together equally
. Just thinking how sin always has a backlash . That's what we're talking about . You go out and do your own things , and it has a backlash both in this life and in the life to come . The palatable pleasure of the prostitute brings the problem of the prodigal's pigsty . Say it again the palatable pleasure Well , it was Peter Piper that actually picked it . The palatable pleasure of the prostitute brings with it the problems of the prodigal's pigsty . There's some pleasure in sin . It promises pleasure , it's eye candy , but it has with it a backlash . There's a pigsty that comes with it , and so the key is to be sold out . For the Lord , you don't want to go back to the pigsty prodigal . You're under your father's care .
Speaker 2Stay under it . You know , we were just celebrating Rachel's birthday with just a small . It's just our family , our kids and Luke's fiance was there and , um , and we all did a time of affirmation where we went around and just told her how precious she is to us and how much we love her . And and it got to me and I went to Proverbs 31, . You know , and it says in Proverbs 31 , it says the heart of her husband safely trusts in her .
Speaker 2She does him good and not evil all the days of her life . And I looked at that and I thought , man , I told my kids I said , guys , you have to understand how in love I am with your mother , how precious she is to me , but how true this is that never for a second in our entire almost 28 year marriage have I ever lacked trust in her . And boy , how abundant has she done me good and not evil all the days . Never have I left town . Oh , what's Rachel's up to ? What's she doing ? Is she going to go and blow our money ? Is she going to be unfaithful to me ? Never , why ? Because she fears the Lord , she loves my God and so , therefore , she's going to love me , and she does . And then I read to them that's miraculous , yeah , it's miraculous . Talk about miracles . And I read to them Proverbs 31, . These verses Strength and honor are her clothing . She shall rejoice in time to come . She opens her mouth with wisdom and on her tongue is a law of kindness . She watches over the ways of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness . Her children rise up and call her blessed . Her husband also , and he praises her . Many daughters have done well , but you excel them all . Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain , but a woman who fears the Lord , she shall be praised , and I read that and I just said this is your mother and you guys know that . You've seen that . You know to think of that . That strength and honor . Her clothing . She rejoices in time to come .
Speaker 2She's a woman of faith and optimism and hope in the Lord . She's a woman of honor . She opens her mouth with wisdom . I mean , you know Rachel has about 90,000 people following her on social media on Joyful Mothers and ladies . I encourage you to check that out . I think it'd be a huge blessing to you . But you know that wisdom , that's on her tongue . Kindness she watches over the ways of her household . I mean , the kids were like yeah , mom , you always look out for us . You're always thinking about us before you yourself . You're always , you know , making sure we have what we need , always looking out , feeding us , you know , taking care of us . She also looks a bit like me as well , yeah , except her beard is a lot larger , yeah , but her children rise up and call her blessed .
Speaker 2She doesn't eat the bread of idleness . She's never sitting popping bonbons and wasting time . Bonbons , yeah , but that's the verse I quote to her often . Many daughters have done well , but you excel them all . Many men have had daughters , and there's many women in this world who've been born to people , but you excel them all . You're a wife of virtue and so , mark , that's what we're trying to get across Like . This is what you're missing out . Men , we spoke to the ladies . Men , if you marry a man , who , if you marry ?
Speaker 1a woman do not marry a man , men , but if a man marries a woman who doesn't fear God .
Speaker 2They're missing out on this .
Speaker 4Yeah , marry somebody who loves God even more than you . You know , beauty is vain , charm is deceit . But a woman who fears the Lord , she shall be praised . Find somebody . It was worded like this I heard a singer say you know , I thought I was a bachelor of the rapture .
Speaker 4A singer say you know , I thought I was a bachelor of the rapture and I kind of lived like that and what I wanted to do was I wanted to go hard after the Lord , go as hard as I possibly can , study as much as I can give and love as much as I possibly can . And then , if my heart changes to get married , then look around and see who has been running the race with you and marry that person . I love it , right . Somebody who has this desire to see the lost saved , this desire to have the right , the word , properly and rightly interpreted and divided and exposited inside your life .
Speaker 4Somebody who goes to Christ for advice and wisdom , somebody who just simply wants to see Christ glorified inside their life . Marry that person and you can't go wrong , right . And it's not like , hey , they're going to get 50% , I'm going to get 50% . No , the idea is you're just going to serve until you die , unconditionally , sacrificially . Love , love , love , love , give , give , give , give , give . And then , when you're going through a hard time , they're going to understand it , they're going to go through it and they're going to give you the proper thing that you need , which is Christ crucified .
Speaker 1Yeah , I think I think something important too is and you're alluding to this is like what , what is it that you see in the other person ? I know I've said this before , which is that , uh , when I used to do college ministry , what do you love about her ? And it's always like , oh , I love the way she makes me feel , I love the way she serves me , I love the way she's doing things for me , I love the way that and I go . Man , it really sounds like you love yourself . You know you love the way they make you feel .
Speaker 1Rather than I think a great way of viewing somebody to marry is this I see what the Lord is doing in your life and I wanna be a part of that . That is a love to grow a marriage upon . And I also wanna point out Kathy Keller points out like three ultimate outcomes that could potentially happen if you end up unequally yoked . She says first , in order to be more in sync with your spouse , the Christian will have to push Christ to the margins of his or her life . This may not involve actual repudiation repudiating the faith but it matters such as devotional life , hospitality to believers , small group meetings , emergency hosting of people in need missionary support , tithing , raising children in the faith , fellowship with other believers . Those things will have to be minimized or avoided in order to preserve peace in the home .
Speaker 1Alternatively , if the believer in the marriage holds on to a robust Christian life and practices , the non-believing partner will have to be marginalized . If he or she can't understand the point of the Bible study and prayer or missions trips or hospitality , then he or she can't or won't participate alongside the believing spouse in those activities . The deep unity and oneness of marriage cannot flourish when one partner cannot fully participate in the other's person's most important commitments . She concludes . So either the marriage experiences stress and breaks up , or it experiences stress and stays together , achieving some kind of truth that involves one spouse or the other capitulating in some areas , but which leaves both parties feeling lonely and unhappy Again . God is inviting you into something so much better than that story , amen .
Speaker 2Yeah , and scripture says look , how can two walk together lest they be agreed ? You don't have the most important element in life in common , and that is Christ . And this person is on their way to hell . And you're like , yeah , well , let me marry you Ultimately . What for ? Because of what I like to get from you , whether it's companionship or it's security , or just the idea of being married . And it's like , no , this person needs the gospel . You know , mark ?
Speaker 4Yeah , I love what Oscar shared here . In fact , I shared that at my son's wedding . What you just shared because of what you just shared , I love that . What happens when you say I love the way she cooks Well , what happens if she can't cook ? I love the way she looks ? Well , what happens if she has an accident ? All the things that you're saying are so superficial . What happens ? Right , and this is one of the things that I said at my son's wedding . I said when you get married , when you marry someone , you need to be fully persuaded that God will be more glorified with you being together than being apart . And if not , don't marry run . Are you fully persuaded ? Right now ? The relationship that you're in God is being more glorified by you being with this person than not . Just pause for a moment and think through that .
Speaker 2That's so good , mark , yeah , and look to further reinforce . People say well , this is just one passage . But in 1 Corinthians 7 , 39 , where Paul's talking about widows remarrying , he says a wife is bound by law as long as her husband lives , but if her husband dies , she is at liberty to be married to whom she wishes only in the Lord , of course . And then the other aspect of it , ray , I'd love you to touch on . This is Deuteronomy 7 , 3 through 4 . Nor shall you make marriages with them . You shall not give your daughter to their son , nor take their daughter for your son , for they will turn your sons away from following me to serve other gods . So you know , we talked about that with Solomon . There's that whole aspect of it's not just okay , they don't know the Lord , but they can influence you , like 1 Corinthians 15 , 33, . Do not be deceived . Bad company corrupts good morals . They can influence you to turn your heart away from the things of God .
Speaker 3Yeah , I just can't help but think about Julia , my granddaughter and you and one of your daughters , and how she wants a godly husband and she's gorgeous and spiritual . And so these guys hang around like flies and she immediately says this man is not godly . She's just not at all interested in anyone that doesn't love the Lord with all their heart , mind , soul and strength . And I'm so proud of her because every woman wants the comfort of marriage but she's hanging on for God's will .
Speaker 3And I think it's so important to remember . It's as simple as this when the appliance breaks down , go back to the manufacturer and we're broken down as human beings and we need to go back and say what does God want ? And this book we call the Bible is the manufacturer's instruction book and it tells us what's good for us .
Speaker 2Amen . So , friends , let me close with a plea . Right now , maybe you're listening and you're in a relationship with an unbeliever and you're a Christian and you might be saying are you telling me that I need to break this off , absolutely , without any question whatsoever ? You need to do what scripture says . You need to understand . You're elevating your emotions , you're elevating your own desires , you're elevating your own reason above God's , and this is sin . And we're telling you we love you , our brother , our sister . You're headed toward disaster .
So , yeah , cut it off . Trust the Lord , and I love the saying that says you would rather not have what you want than to have what you don't want . I know that you want to be married , but you don't want to marry someone that doesn't love Jesus Because , first of all , it's a sin against God and , secondly , it is one of the most foolish things you could ever do . Trust us , don't even think about it . God's already told you what's right , so do it . That's that , no silliness . Thank you for joining us , friends . We'll see you here next time on the Living Waters Podcast .