Why Modern Men Feel Useless Today – Highlight Episode 377

Masculinity is being pulled apart by cultural extremes that leave many men confused about who they are and how they are meant to live. Ray, E.Z., Mark, and Oscar point back to Scripture to show that true masculinity is not rooted in dominance or passivity, but in Christlikeness marked by humility, courage, and obedience to God. They explore how culture shames healthy male leadership while simultaneously promoting distorted versions of strength that lack compassion and accountability. Biblical manhood, they explain, begins with laying down one’s life, honoring women, leading with integrity, and faithfully serving within the home, the church, and the world. Through repentance, discipleship, and a commitment to walk with Christ daily, men are called to reclaim a form of masculinity that reflects the heart of Jesus, strengthens families, and brings life to those around them.

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Learn more about the hosts of this podcast.
Ray Comfort
Emeal (“E.Z.”) Zwayne
Mark Spence
Oscar Navarro

Transcript

Two-Front War On Masculinity

SPEAKER_00 0:00

There's kind of a war on masculinity, and it's on two fronts. Uh the first front is probably the one that we're most poised to talk about today, which is that modern culture often frames all forms of masculinity as toxic. If you try to talk about masculinity today, there are places where immediately to try to be a man, to try to be masculine, that's oppressive. So to your point, and kind of the title, the result is that men, unknowingly, with this God-ordained assignment of being men, they feel confused, ashamed, afraid to express basic God-given masculine traits. And this leaves them stuck, disconnected from the calling that God has on them. But there's also another form that is an attack on masculinity. It's what I would call the romanizing of masculinity, the hyper-individualistic masculinity. This is the John Wayne, pick yourself up by your bootstraps. The autonomous, self-made, emotionally detached, conquest-driven man. This is also a toxic distortion. It's strength without compassion, it's independence without community, it's leadership without sacrifices. We need to reject both of these extremes. Biblical masculinity is neither passive nor performative. It is shaped by Christ. And first and foremost, the foundation of biblical masculinity is knowing Christ. You cannot, men listen to this, you cannot become biblically masculine without first becoming a godly man. Masculinity is not primarily primarily about personality traits or cultural scripts. It's about Christ-likeness. And the starting line for biblical masculinity is surrendering your life to Jesus.

Character Over Muscle And Biblical Examples

SPEAKER_03 2:04

John Wayne. Yeah, it's not just an airport, but he was the epitome of masculinity, the Hollywood version where he would uh uh never weep. Weak men, weak men apologize, you know, uh slap a woman around was just the Hollywood version and so uh and the antithesis to what masculinity is. Masculinity isn't muscle, it's character. That true biblical masculinity. But the trouble is that we tend to be impressed by muscle. If a guy comes and he's in six foot nine and he's got muscles like railway lines, you and I would be impressed. You know, that's ooh, look at him. But God doesn't look on the outward appearance as we see when um with David was chosen above the sons of Jesse.

SPEAKER_02 2:49

I love the fact that when we when we look at certain passages in scripture, we can see that the myths of our day are dispelled. Real men don't cry. Jesus wept, yep. Like end of end of discussion, right? In fact, this morning at the gym, because when I'm at the gym, I'm listening to scriptures, I'm doing my basketball drills, and I was uh I was in Ezekiel, and and he was talking about how he he cried before the Lord, you know, cried aloud before the Lord and cried out, and and you just see that, you know, Jeremiah, the weeping prophet, you know, right? Um, and so we have all these misnomers, but it's like we're allowing again the world's authority to be the thing that defines us versus the word, and then that pendulum swings.

SPEAKER_01 3:35

You know, it's either that toxic David was kind of known for crying. You know what I mean? I mean, we we talked about the book A Tell Three Kings by Gene Edwards. Yeah. So it gives the the idea of the story, right? Or this journalist, he's kind of like going door to door and he goes up to one of David's mighty men and he says, Tell us about David. What was David like? You know, you know, you must have been this powerhouse of a of a of a guy, right? He says, Well, if you're into guys crying all the time, and that was one of the things that that he pointed out, that he was a man that was continually uh weeping.

SPEAKER_02 4:08

With David, I love that example that we're given. How God did certain things too, like, you know, you see God doing something unique with, for example, the one who's not the firstborn. You know, you see him doing something unique with the barren woman, you know, and and and honoring her and blessing her. And then you see what he does does with David. Like God is he's getting something across to us. Like his ways aren't our ways. Right. And so, yeah, by man's conventions, we would expect one of his older, bigger, you know, brothers, but God chose David.

SPEAKER_00 4:37

He did it for a reason. Samson is an anomaly. Most of the time, God's chosen men to be used as vessels for his grace are the poets, the criers, the smallest of the family, the second born, on and on it goes.

SPEAKER_01 4:53

You know, our culture is given kind of a mixed message to men, right? You're toxic and you're not stepping up.

SPEAKER_00 5:00

Right. Good point. Right?

SPEAKER_01 5:01

It's like you're toxic, we don't have anything to do with you. And why aren't you stepping up? Why aren't you doing something about it? It's not making sense, and the world is being confused, and I think that that's creeping into the church, right? And we are we've kind of lost our voice.

Raising Men Through Discipleship

SPEAKER_02 5:14

A big part of the problem in men really losing masculinity is that they're not being the leaders they were created to be. And I think I've shared this before, but basically the world just all of a sudden developed this taste that they don't like, they don't like male lions with manes, right? Let's shear those manes, let's change, let's change their nature basically, in order to kind of make them fit into our new, you know, feminist driven box of the world, you know. Today, sadly, what we end up with is uh, you know, 30-year-old boys that that are living in basements and not thinking about marriage and not pursuing career to be providers and not entering the marketplace to lead an industry or to enter politics, to to lead government.

SPEAKER_01 6:11

So, how do we reclaim that biblical manhood where there is courage and there's sacrifice, uh, there's a desire to work hard, there's a desire to follow Christ. How do we raise up those men? Yeah, we talk about it, we're saying they're not there. So, what do we do to raise up people that are coming to us? Uh, maybe they are 30 years old, right? Or maybe they're they're 18, they're living home, but they're coming to us and they're saying, All right, what do I do? I see what you're saying. Where do I go from here?

SPEAKER_00 6:37

Shouldn't that be the fruit of the spirit? First and foremost, absolutely it the gospel, as I said before, to be a godly man, it starts with being the kind of man that can bow his knee to Christ as Lord and Savior. Absolutely. There's also the application of the gospel that's so important, so important uh to bearing out the fruits of the spirit. And listen, these men, there's a lot of men in the church that are desperate for father figure leaders, and they turn to podcasters. And let me just tell you, there is there is no substitute to daily discipleship. What men, young men need today, more than anything else, isn't another book. It's not another podcast, it's not another YouTube video. What they need is men inviting them into their homes so that they can see what it's like to love and serve and speak tenderly to a wife, so that they can see what it's like to sacrifice and express incarnational love towards children, so they can see what it's like to manage a home well. What men need is other men coming alongside and bearing their souls to them in everyday life. That's what men need to bear out the fruits of their own.

SPEAKER_03 7:55

You provoked a thought on me, isn't that why some young men uh join the military?

SPEAKER_00 7:59

Yeah.

Courage, Obedience, And Spiritual Battle

SPEAKER_03 8:00

Disciplined. Because they've just been the whole life has been slack and they just want some sort of sense of purpose and direction, and that's what they get in the military. Someone telling them what to do and giving them boundaries and discipline because they can't discipline themselves.

SPEAKER_02 8:13

Right. You know, I I love what David said to Solomon as he's commissioning him. He said, Be strong. This is 1 Kings 2, 2 to 3. Be strong, therefore, and prove yourself a man and keep the charge of the Lord your God. I I love the the tie-in. Be strong, prove yourself a man, and keep the charge of the Lord your God. I mean, that at the end of the day is what it comes down to, keeping the charge of God. And in that charge, as you look at his word, you have direction for manhood, you know?

SPEAKER_03 8:44

Yeah, it's it I I was gonna bring that up. The King James version of what you just said is quit yourselves like men, which is absolutely meaningless to anybody, quit yourselves like men. But actually means um act like a man, be brave, be strong, stand firm, show your courage, stand your ground, be steadfast, mature, face danger or responsibly brave more bravely. And it appears, oh, listen to Charles Spurgeon. The Christian man, it seems to me, is the noblest style of man, the freest, bravest, most heroic, and most fearless of men. If he is what he should be, he is, in the best sense of the word, a man all over, from the crown of his head to the sole of his feet.

Closing And Full Episode Invitation

SPEAKER_01 9:26

Oh. So that there is a war that we are enlisted in, and this is not a war against people, right? Our battle is not against Mormons. Our battle is not against Andrew Tate. I gotta counter whatever he's come up with today, right? We our our battle is against spiritual darkness and hosts and things of that nature, but we don't live our lives in such a way where we're wondering what the devil is up to, right? We want to live our lives in such a way where the devil's wondering what we're up to because we are on the offense. There is a battle against your purity, there's a battle against your mind, there's a battle against your finances, uh, there is a battle. You are in a battle. And you think of what a soldier does. When a soldier wakes up in the morning in the U.S. Army, he does not get to decide what he wears that day. He doesn't get to decide how he's gonna comb his hair that day. He doesn't have a get to have a debate with the person in charge of him that day. No, he is given his orders and he goes. Well, that is the same way for you and I, right? That we are in the Lord's army. We have a war against sin and temptation and apathy and forces that destroy the family nuclear unit. Yeah. If we recognize that we get that 10,000 view, 10,000 foot view down upon what's really happening, then we will stop trying to make a name, you know, for ourselves, trying to stop always being right or recognized or regarded or rewarded, right? We we have a mindset that the Lord has permission to do whatever he wants, as he's the potter. I'm the clay. Let's go. And I trust and believe that you're gonna be with me. And as you command me, you're going to enable me inside that battle today. Amen.

SPEAKER_02 11:09

Thank you for tuning in to this week's highlights from the Living Waters podcast. Friends, we value your time. So we've created a bite sized version of our podcast for listeners who want to get equipped without the jokes and fellowship. Be sure to check out the full episode every Thursday where we dive deeper into the topic. Until then, you can watch the full podcast episode available now on livingwaters.tv.