Why So Many People Feel Deeply Alone Today – Highlight Episode 380

Loneliness is quietly becoming one of the most serious struggles of our time, affecting even believers who are surrounded by people each week. Ray, E.Z., Mark, and Oscar explore how social media, comparison, and fear of rejection have eroded meaningful fellowship, leaving many isolated despite constant digital connection. They explain that biblical community is not optional but part of God’s design, rooted in shared purpose and labor in the gospel. Isolation creates space for lies to grow, while vulnerability and honest confession build trust and strength. The solution is not just busyness, but intentional, Christ-centered relationships formed through church involvement, service, and discipleship. When believers lift their eyes from themselves and unite with others, loneliness turns into joy, endurance, and lasting hope.

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Learn more about the hosts of this podcast.
Ray Comfort
Emeal (“E.Z.”) Zwayne
Mark Spence
Oscar Navarro

Transcript

Naming The Problem: Loneliness

SPEAKER_01 0:00

Why is it dying, guys? Uh fellowship, connection, closeness. We've we've touched on some of this stuff before on the podcast, but it's uh it's a little more dangerous than I think people realize. Isolation.

Social Media And Comparison Traps

Brotherhood Versus Worldly Isolation

SPEAKER_03 0:14

Um let me go first. I'm gonna I'm gonna go back to social media. I'm gonna go back to that picture perfect family that you see on Instagram and uh the the Navarro household who gets professional photos done and we only post amazing things. And when we go from person to person who's always posting uh the most amazing thing, you know, there's this self-reflection that's taking place, right? My my wife didn't make that meal. You're always posting about your wife making you amazing meals. My wife doesn't make meals like this, and I start to go inward, I start to get some resentment. Um, and then you start posting your kids. Oh, you got perfect kids. They're all walking with God, great. I got a wayward one. Right. And so social media, I think, has added, it's not the problem, but it has added to this problem. And so we start comparing ourselves to other people and we can find ourselves alone. Ever been feeling felt alone in the midst of a crowded room? Right? You're you're just like, look at all these people laughing. What are you laughing about? What are you smiling about? Don't you know I have real issues and trials going on inside of my life? And if I share these issues, because what do we do? We we joke with each other so much that if I share, maybe you're gonna make a joke out of what I'm going through. Right? Or maybe what I'm going through, you just don't understand what I'm going through. Because I've never heard you talk about this sort of an angle inside of your life. And maybe I'm the one-off. I'm that one-off that nobody understands, nobody can relate to me, and I certainly can't relate to them because I do not live in an Instagram world. Hence, I'm lonely in the midst of a crowd.

Purpose, Mission, And Soldier Mindset

Stats, Tech, And The Face‑To‑Face Gap

SPEAKER_02 1:54

So are we talking about the body of Christ or the world here? Because it's got the word brotherhood, godly brotherhood. How to rebuild godly brotherhood? Because it's a huge difference. The ungodly people have got a reason to be lonely. Yeah. They're without God, they're without hope. Under the sentence of death, and they've got a reason to be depressed, but within the body of Christ, we shouldn't really have this. And let me tell you why. Tell us why. I don't think many people get lonely in the military. I don't think soldiers are lonely. Why? Because they're so busy and they're thrust together in a purpose, a sole purpose. It's when they get out of the military that they get depressed. And they're committing suicide so often. And if we see ourselves within the body of Christ with an agenda to see people saved from a very real hell, then we shouldn't let anything hold us back because we've got this group, this commission. We're soldiers of Christ, and we should be always abounding in the work of the Lord, knowing our labor is not in vain. So we shouldn't have time to think of our loneliness when we think of people going to hell. It's like getting upset, you've got an itch when you're on the lifeboats of the Titanic, and all around your people are drowning. You've got to get your priorities straight. So I think that's one key to be striving together for the faith of the gospel as Christians. The world lonely, depressed, suicidal, but within the body of Christ, if we take our Great Commission seriously and we're always laboring for the Lord as soldiers of Christ, I think half these problems be pushed into the background. It's only going to get worse, isn't it?

SPEAKER_01 3:29

Well, and let me say it has gotten worse. Um, in 1990, there were only about 3% of men that said they had no close friends. Now it's 15%. So you've got a five-fold jump. And what's interesting is, you know, we think technology that's supposed to connect us would make us less lonely, right? Instant access to people and stuff. But man, we've said this how many times? You cannot replace personal face-to-face interaction.

Fall, Fracture, And Gospel Reconciliation

Get Proactive: Make A Plan Today

SPEAKER_00 3:55

It can't be replaced. I was in my 20s and I did not want to get married and I did not want to have kids. I was making a quarter million dollars a year. I had a Rolex watch on my wrist and I had an ocean view in my home. And I will tell you that no matter how curated those social media accounts are, they are struggling with loneliness. How do I know that? Because as you mentioned, Mark, and as you alluded to, Ray, we are made for creation. Genesis, we are we are made for community. We are made for community with God and with each other. And loneliness is a byproduct of the fall. Because of the fall, we had fractured relationships with each other. We see that between Adam and Eve. Because of the fall, we have a fractured relationship with God's creation, thorns and thistles. But as you alluded to, more importantly, because of the fall, we have a fractured relationship between us and God. And the beauty of the gospel is the reconciliation between us and people, between us and his creation, but primarily between us and God. In other words, that that luxurious monasticism only works on Instagram. It is not going to work for you in this real life.

Serve Others To Escape Isolation

SPEAKER_01 5:13

I would say, first of all, you have to be radically proactive. Okay. So the saying we've cited many times, you will always be who you've always been, if you always do what you've always done. So like today, you have to institute a plan. Not tomorrow, not next week, not later. Like you're hearing this podcast right now. If you're not driving, pull out your phone. If you are and you can do audio record, whatever, go to notes if you're not driving and note it. Record it if you can't. Here's what I'm going to do to change this thing in my life that is called isolation. And don't hesitate to be brutal with yourself, to call it in some instances, utter selfishness. Because it is in some instances, where we're not willing, because it's not just about you. You're depriving others of the richness that comes from what you have to offer as a fellow believer. So call it what it is, repent of that selfishness, come up with a plan, and then change the trend, change your habits, right? Just say, okay, well, here's what I'm gonna do. And start to, if you don't talk to people, talk to people. If you don't invite people to your house, invite people to your house. If you don't take someone out to lunch to just open up and get to know them, my son Luke is so good with this. Like he's he is like a chronic fellowshipper. Like, oh yeah, I went out with this guy and this guy, elder so-and-so and this guy. I'm like, what? What in the world? But I love it that at a young age, he's made this a habit in his life. So I would say those are key, right?

SPEAKER_02 6:38

We're talking the other day, the couple that came dismissed that came here, they said the key to getting out of that pit of despair was to think of others, not yourself. And Jesus said that himself. He said, You you wash other people's feet. Happy are you if you know these things and and do them. And so that's the key to getting rid of loneliness in yourself. Think of loneliness in others. Think of the despair of the lost, think of your neighbors. If we can just lift our eyes up to the to the sun and the the sky and the trees and the flowers and the birds and think of music and color and friends and family and fellowship, all these things should lift us out of loneliness and we begin thinking about this, the special, especially their eternal salvation. I think it's such a key.

Link Arms: Practical Fellowship Steps

SPEAKER_03 7:19

You know, I I mentioned earlier that you need to let your battles be known to others, right? If if no one knows your battle, then you're you're kind of losing that first battle, right? Because as a as a brothership, as as Christians, we we are soldiers, right? And we we need to link arms. We need to be found linking arms. We need to continually ask to meet with people for that, for that cup of coffee. You know, and if you're getting no's, well, that that's not a necessarily a horrific thing. You're just getting directional that that maybe is not the right person for you to meet with.

Hope For Social Anxiety

SPEAKER_00 7:57

I have a loved one, someone who I care about dearly, who struggles with social anxiety in the sense that when they go in public places that they have a panic attack.

SPEAKER_02 8:08

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 8:08

And this person loves the Lord and they love the church. I don't want that person to feel condemned. I want that person to feel hopeful and to the point you made easy to have a plan when you know how important it is. And so make a plan. Go with the friend. If you don't have a believing friend, invite a non-believing friend. Email the church and say, could I meet with somebody one-on-one in my life, uh, in my age range? I would just love to get to know somebody so that I can meet up with them to go to church on a Sunday. Make a plan and fight this. Satan wants you to be alone and he's using those chemical imbalances to keep you alone and to continue to fight against that. I know it's hard, but it's worth it to fight against that and to be a part of a gospel community.

Highlights Wrap And Next Steps

SPEAKER_01 9:04

That's a great word, Oscar. Yeah, and and know if there's anyone out there with that struggle, you have our sympathies and compassion. But yeah, at the end of the day, you know, you you at least should seek to fight it and seek to find a remedy, you know, and I think the Lord will honor that for sure. Thank you for tuning in to this week's highlights from the Living Waters podcast. Franz, we value your time. So we've created a bite-sized version of our podcast for listeners who want to get equipped without the jokes and fellowship. Be sure to check out the full episode every Thursday where we dive deeper into the topic. Until then, you can watch the full podcast episode available now on livingwaters.tv.