The Unseen Gifts of Christmas for the Trauma Survivor

When the festive lights dim and the carols fade, where do you find the strength to heal from life's deepest wounds? Join me, Erin Anderson, as I reveal the tender journey towards hope and healing amidst betrayal trauma, especially during a season that speaks volumes about hope's unwavering light. This heartfelt conversation is not just about the trials, but also the triumphs that emerge when we embrace the true essence of Christmas. Through personal revelations, I'll guide you to see how the birth of Jesus isn't just a historical event but a beacon of resilience that encourages us to rediscover joy and reclaim our identity, even after being shaken to our core.

While genuine apologies are extended for the rescheduling of Markel Brown's eagerly anticipated conversation, the spirit of Christmas offers a lesson in patience and anticipation for the richness that awaits us on January 8th. Meanwhile, this episode is an invitation to carry the Christmas message into every day of the coming year, laying a foundation for continuous transformation and healing. I warmly encourage you to become part of our community, where support is abundant and resources are rich, whether it's through our free Facebook group or vibrant Instagram page. Together, let's step into a future where hope is eternal and the promise of healing is a tangible reality.

For the Powerful and Profitable Trauma Informed Coach 5 Day Challenge, click on this link to join the challenge: https://www.kushlachadwick.com/5day-powerfulandprofitable

Transcript

Speaker 1: 1:03

Hey everyone, it's Erin Anderson with the Erin Anderson B-Trail Trauma Coaching. I am super excited that you have tuned in. Today. Let's keep talking about how to heal from B-Trail Trauma. Welcome to the other side of the struggle. This is a podcast where we talk about trauma, how to heal it and then how to take it and use it to unlock your mission and your potential and to use it to live your very best dream life.

Speaker 1: 1:50

When you're dealing with B-Trail Trauma, it can be hard to know how to heal it, how to stop the pain and to know what your next steps are to take in your own life, and these are the questions that we try to answer here. Trauma has the ability to rob us of our joy and identity, which is why it's so miserable to experience. But with the right tools and with the right mindset, we can totally reclaim that joy and even use this trauma to strengthen ourselves, so that way, trauma does not knock us off of our joy again. Living your dream life should be a non-negotiable, but trauma tends to try to negotiate that with you and even though trauma is not something that we will completely ever be free of in our life, the pain is negotiable. This is why I created Aaron Anderson B-Trail Trauma Coaching and this podcast is because I want my listeners, I want my clients, to live, truly live, free from the prison that trauma can put you in. I want you to live on the other side of the struggle.

Speaker 1: 3:34

Hey, everyone, welcome back to another episode of the other side of the struggle. And I got to start this episode out with saying I am so sorry, you guys, because I know I promised that this week would be talking to Markel Brown and that episode is coming, by the way, january 8th. It is scheduled, it is coming, so be watching for that one. But I realized a little too late that this episode is the Christmas episode and Christmas is on Monday and obviously I don't want I want to kind of keep the podcast going in the Christmas direction, since all of you guys are celebrating Christmas right now, and I definitely wanted to do a podcast, you know, that gives you hope today, keeps the Christmas spirit alive with you, and also I really felt like it would be good to help you understand that hope is around the corner, that it's never gone and it came through this day like I'm gonna get emotional, you guys, oh my gosh. And I'll be honest, the last couple weeks have been a very, very emotional time for me, with just some stuff that's coming up. You know, life it kind of tends to life. You sometimes right and can handle some lemons, and it's definitely done that. Last couple weeks just kind of poked at some wounds and stuff.

Speaker 1: 5:28

But I'll say this much because I don't think we need to go in depth into into what's going on, but the more or less that Christmas is the reason why I personally can keep going, and I that might be kind of like huh, like what? Why would you say that? Right? And here's the thing there are tough times in life. There are times when we don't know what our next steps are and we don't know how we got where we're at and I've definitely been facing some of that this week and we don't know, like, what to think about our relationships. Maybe we don't know. Maybe somebody, love it, has been suffering. Maybe you're suffering because of somebody else's actions, right. Maybe your confidence is just not where you want it to be, or maybe your money story isn't where you want it to be. There's so many different reasons why life can just kind of life us, right, but because of Christmas and I've said this again. I'm just saying it again Hope is never lost.

Speaker 1: 7:10

See, there's always the pretty packages. Maybe you're somebody that doesn't have very much under the tree this year, but there's always the lights. There's always the talk of the magic. Kids are getting excited about Santa and Santa. Today, at this point, by the time this podcast airs, he's already come and presents get opened. There's Christmas dinners, family to go see and all the Christmas stuff. But it's not about that, is it? As a matter of fact, every single one of the symbols of Christmas the wreaths, the tree, the candy canes, all of the presents, all of it points back to what Christmas is all about, and that's hope. Hope exists because of the little baby that was born, and actually not in the winter solstice. I'm going to have to look that one up and find out why.

Speaker 1: 8:31

You know we celebrate.

Speaker 1: 8:31

If you know, let me know in the comments. Right? It's all about a baby boy that was born. We celebrate his life. We celebrate his birth at Christmastime and we celebrate him because he took it all on. He took on our suffering. He took on the pains that we had to bear in this life. He took on himself the ability to understand what we're going through. He knows what it feels like to have a husband that is looking at pornography, believe it or not.

Speaker 1: 11:54

He understands the pain of betrayal so well. There's a man whose best friend handed him over to the Pharisees so that way they could kill him, or one of his best friends, I should say, handed him over just so he could die for a few measly, measly silver coins. He traded the greatest thing that ever has been given to humanity for a few measly silver coins. Talk about betrayal. Somebody that Christ loved totally rejected him. That happened all the time.

Speaker 1: 12:43

Think about when he said in the Bible, when he asked the apostles are you going to leave me too? Luckily, peter says where would we go? Why would we leave you? Where would we go? You have the truth. You are the Son of God, you are the Savior. Why would we leave you? But it's because he knew what it feels like to be left. And he's asking Peter in that vulnerable moment are you going to still be here with me? He was genuinely asking because he was genuinely hurt.

Speaker 1: 13:21

He gets it. He's been without money. He was born in a stable for crying out loud with animals. Not many of us can claim that one. He gets poverty. He gets the pain that we deal with. He knows what it's like to be tempted, the adversary tempting him in some of his weakest times, when he was fasting for the 40 days and 40 nights. He gets it and he doesn't judge us because he gets it. All he wants from us this Christmas and every single day is for us to understand that he gets it, that we can take this stuff to him, that we don't have to live without him.

Speaker 1: 14:25

I think that the greatest pain that our sweet, wonderful Savior ever experiences is when we don't think he can help us, when we say that our pain is too big for him. We blame him for the pain because it's too big. We don't actually consider that he gets it. All he wants to do is wrap us up in his arms and tell us that it's going to be okay. He's there and he's not going to leave us. He doesn't. I gotta be honest. My listeners and you can hear I'm totally getting emotional here. He doesn't leave us.

Speaker 1: 15:27

He's the reason I am doing this podcast today. He's the reason I can teach what I do. He's the reason I've healed to the point I have and he's the reason I will continue healing further. He is behind the seven pillars, he's behind everything I teach, he's behind my freedom and he's in my heart. It doesn't mean I do everything perfectly out of heaven's null. There are times I still have my struggles, and sometimes they're really hard struggles, really. But I know it's not impossible because I know he gets it.

Speaker 1: 16:19

We were given that gift and that is what we celebrate today. Is that beautiful ability to know that hope is never lost. It is never gone. It might not always look the way that we think it should. Maybe our marriage is due in, maybe we've got that child that doesn't talk to us anymore, maybe there's some type of betrayal happening in our life that really, really hurts. But I can tell you, hope is not gone because Christ exists. Hope is never gone.

Speaker 1: 17:09

Now you might say to me well, what about the? What about Sodom and Gomorrah? Right, he totally obliterated them off the planet. How can he be a loving, understanding, merciful God when he takes Sodom and Gomorrah and he destroys them? Or there's other parts in the scriptures that talk about how God enacted his justice and he gave vengeance to the wicked right. What kind of a loving God would do that? Well, here's my perspective.

Speaker 1: 17:45

To sin is to absolutely cause yourself misery. You cannot say I'm going to go out and sin and you know you're doing it and say, oh, this is going to make me happy, we get this. Never was happiness right. It's just not. It's just not. Whatever, we're doing things that we know we shouldn't do, and we all do them. No judgment right. We are legitimately choosing to be miserable. We are making the choice to be miserable. And here are these people. We're consistently making the choices to be miserable and at some point somebody's got to come in and stop it.

Speaker 1: 18:40

I kind of look at it like this If your kid had a knife and they were consistently cutting themselves, causing pain and causing themselves to bleed, at what point would you take that knife away? And why? Because you love them, right, it doesn't mean that the pain of the initial cut goes away immediately, but at least they're not experiencing new cuts. And this is what happens with God. Why, when he punishes the wicked, right, it's so amazing for the righteous is because, yes, he is giving us vengeance, right, like he's enacting justice for us, but he's also giving mercy to the wicked. He's at least stopping them at this point from progressing any further down that path. He took away the knife.

Speaker 1: 19:41

That's a loving God, a loving God that came to this earth and he's not judging us. His doesn't judge us but he is here to love us. And sometimes love doesn't look fluffy. It's not always easy. It's not always saying oh well, you didn't do anything wrong, right? He doesn't do that, because that's not love. Love is helping us be the very best versions of ourselves, to stop our suffering, to stop us from sinning so, or help us stop from sinning, wanting us to desire to stop the sin right and to be there for us the entire way. So it's that way we can know ourselves, we can be happy with ourselves, we can find that joy, we can find that peace, we can find that solace. He is within this season.

Speaker 1: 20:49

This is part of the reason why, when Christmas comes around, there is so much hope in the air. You can feel it, it's tangible. We call it magic. There are people paying other people's bills. I was at the grocery store the other day and there was this little lady. You could tell she didn't have a lot of money, she was trying to pay for her groceries and she only had a few things. The cashier told her hey, don't worry about it. Somebody already took care of it. Somebody had come in and donated a bunch of money to the store. That way, people didn't have to worry about their groceries and how to feed their kids, if they could have a Christmas or a Christmas dinner.

Speaker 1: 21:45

I'm seeing that everywhere, all because a baby was born. I'm seeing more kindness, all because a baby was born. People have a little bit more faith at this time of year, all because a baby was born. It embodies who he is the magic, the wonder, the beauty, the lights, the peace, the hope. Christmas is healing. To be healed is to keep Christmas in our heart all year round. It never leaves Every day. We would pause at a little bit more of that Christmas in our hearts and we find so much more that when life lives us and we do feel these betrayals and we do feel these injustices and these hurts that come our way because we have that Christmas in our hearts, we always have enough to cover the costs. We feel like we're getting really, really low.

Speaker 1: 23:20

This is where it's time to focus on the love that Christmas brings. How can we love that person more? What does God see? How can we love ourselves more? What does he see, why are we so precious to him, the most perfect being ever, that we were worth giving up his life. He loves us so much that he paid the price for our mistakes and our sins, so that way, we never would have to do it alone, unless we chose to. Oh, what a gift, what a gift we have. And because Christmas exists, healing is possible, but it doesn't happen through someone else. Healing happens through the relationship we have with this little one that was born during Christmas. He's given us so much, and the only thing he asks back from us is that we give him our will, and the only reason he wants our will is so that way he can take it and create more for us. All about us. It's always been about us and making sure that we have the very best of whatever is out there for us. That is what he is all about.

Speaker 1: 25:17

You know Ezra Taft Benson. He's one of the prophets of my church. He was the prophet in the 80s, late 80s and early 90s, I believe, but I love this quote from him. He says many women who turn their lives over to God will discover that he can make a lot more out of their lives than they can? He can deepen their joys, expand their vision, quicken their minds, strengthen their muscles, lift their spirits, multiply their blessings, increase their opportunities, comfort their souls and pour out peace. So we give him the one thing we can give him, which is our will. That is the gift he wants and in return, he deepens our joys.

Speaker 1: 26:12

How many of us want that when we're hurting? Expand our vision. How many of us want clarity when we're hurting? Why? Why do we ask that all the time? Why so expands our vision? Answers the why Because our minds. How often have we wanted to be able to think of something quickly, so that we were not stuck in the pain too long? Being able to move out of it quickly because our minds are quicker. Strengthen our muscles. How many of us want that? How many of us would feel better if we could exercise daily and if we weren't walking around every single day with pain? Lift our spirits. If you've been betrayed, your spirits are probably pretty low and you would love to have them lifted.

Speaker 1: 27:08

Multiply their blessings. I could always use more blessings. Definitely need them. Anybody out there that would like to be able to pay more bills and take their family on vacations and maybe do a little bit more around the house that they've been wanting to do, or create something more, increase their opportunities. Basically, he's going to give us the chances that we want to take. He's going to place them before us, comfort our souls.

Speaker 1: 27:47

How many of us need that? Did I say more than pour out peace, simply because we gave him our will? Why would he cherish something like that? I honestly don't think he's not in it for him. He cherishes our will so that way he can lead us out of the pain, out of danger and into paradise, if we just give the will to him. It's always been about us. But if we're staying stuck in the pain, is it possible that we're not trusting Christmas? Is it possible that we're not trusting him in his joy, in him that says that he can heal all things?

Speaker 1: 29:02

Christmas is healing. It's about healing too. It's about being able to put our lives back together after they've been shattered, and we feel like they've been shattered. It's hope that things aren't always going to be this way, but it starts with us deciding to give him a gift this Christmas, and the only thing he asks of you is your will and when.

Speaker 1: 29:49

And if you guys have listened to my story, you know that that was the first thing he asked of me when I couldn't do it anymore and I had to heal. I had to do something. The pain was too great. He asked me if I was ready to heal and if I was. The first thing I needed to do was to give him my will. I was hurting so badly that I was like, take it. If this is what is going to be, if this is the cost for me to stop hurting, you can have it. Take it. And he did. And it meant that I had to sometimes follow my pride. It meant that sometimes I had to realize that I had been an equal contributor to the misery. Sometimes it did mean that I had to have some humbling moments, but those humbling moments taught me to trust that I'm a fantastic human, because I can handle the heat, I can handle being humbled, because all humility is it is not a self-betrayal. Humility is actually a better understanding of who you are. That's what he provides us with. What a gift If you were hurting my loves, if you were struggling and if, perhaps, maybe, you are really having a hard time with this time of year.

Speaker 1: 31:38

Make an opportunity to recenter and reconnect with what Christmas is truly about. Not about the gifts. Those are fun, they're great. Seeing the light in somebody else's face, seeing that you got them the exact right thing, that's fabulous. I love that. I love opening my own gifts too. Not going to lie, it's kind of fun.

Speaker 1: 32:06

But that's not what it's about. This is the time of year where there's hope, healing and newness everywhere. We look A little more Christmas All year long and I promise you your healing will come, all because of a sweet little way to be born that was born on Christmas Day. And one more thing Sorry, I know you guys thought I was going to end the podcast. Anyway, if you look at the word Christmas in Spanish means more. It's actually Latin for more, more Christ, more Christ Day. We need to have a little bit more Christ in our lives. This is the time of year term. All right, my loves. Now I really will end the podcast next week. Again, like I said, I am pushing Markel back out two more weeks. She is coming. It's going to be a fantastic podcast, but we're going to be talking about how to bring the new you out, how to actually form your entire year for healing. Okay, all right, from my heart to your heart. I'll see you guys on the other side. Bye, my loves Music.

Speaker 1: 34:08

Okay, so I've got a question for you. Have you joined my free Facebook group or Instagram page yet? If you haven't, go and do that and this is the reason why I always post my freebies, updated information and all kinds of goodies for my community in that page. I'm also really active. I post videos, I answer questions. So if you guys really really want to get in and interact with me, go like me on Facebook.

Speaker 1: 34:44

Go join my group the other side of the struggle healing from betrayal trauma. Come find me on Instagram, aaron Anderson, betrayal trauma coach and come follow me, because I always have something good there just for you, my audience, and I love connecting with you there. I also post anytime that I have groups going on. I talk sometimes about my programs. So if you guys are interested in working with me or even just following me and getting as much free content as you possibly can, go hang out in my group, go connect with the ladies that are there. Also, come and join Immune and Unashamed for those married couples that are following me, because in that group, me and my business partner, kaisen Kidd, are also talking and offering some great content.