So What is a Boundary Anyway?

Have you ever felt the need to reclaim your personal space and take control of your life? This episode is your guide to the empowerment that comes with setting boundaries, a journey beyond the pain of betrayal trauma. Here, we don't just talk about the hurt; we equip you with actionable steps to create a space where you feel safe, heard, and valued. Discover the power of boundaries in healing and how they serve as the framework for a life filled with joy and free from the shadows of past traumas. Plus, I'm excited to share a free resource designed to help you identify and fortify your personal boundaries.

Navigating the landscape of personal boundaries can be daunting, but I'm here to walk you through it with real-life stories, insights, and a deep dive into the different types of boundaries that keep us grounded. From the essentials of a listening boundary to the nuances of physical, sexual, energetic, time, and money boundaries, this episode is a masterclass in understanding the role each one plays in our lives. I'll share my own experiences to illuminate how embracing these boundaries can lead to a more authentic life, improved relationships, and a deeper sense of self-respect.

Wrapping up, we'll talk about how to bring these boundaries to life in your day-to-day, with community support as our backbone. I'll offer practical advice, a free boundary creator tool, and highlight our 'Immune and Unashamed' group, where specialized content awaits those dealing with betrayal trauma in their intimate relationships. Join our free Facebook group and follow us on Instagram for ongoing support as you embark on this transformative journey, and let's embrace the power of boundaries together.

For the Powerful and Profitable Trauma Informed Coach 5 Day Challenge, click on this link to join the challenge: https://www.kushlachadwick.com/5day-powerfulandprofitable

Transcript

Speaker 1: 1:03

Hey everyone, it's Erin Anderson with the Erin Anderson B-Trail Trauma Coaching. I am super excited that you tuned in today. Let's keep talking about how to heal from B-Trail Trauma. Welcome to the other side of the struggle. This is a podcast where we talk about trauma, how to heal it and then how to take it and use it to unlock your mission and your potential and to use it to live your very best dream life. When you're dealing with B-Trail Trauma, it can be hard to know how to heal it, how to stop the pain and to know what your next steps are to take in your own life, and these are the questions that we try to answer here. Trauma has the ability to rob us of our joy and identity, which is why it's so miserable to experience. But with the right tools and with the right mindset, we can totally reclaim that joy and even use this trauma to strengthen ourselves, so that way, trauma does not knock us off of our joy again. Living your dream life should be a non-negotiable, but trauma tends to try to negotiate that with you and even though trauma is not something that we will completely ever be free of in our life, the pain is negotiable. This is why I created Aaron Anderson B-Trail Trauma Coaching and this podcast is because I want my listeners, I want my clients, to live truly live free from the prison that trauma can put you in. I want you to live on the other side of the struggle. Hey, everyone, welcome back to another episode of the other side of the struggle. So I have been thinking about what can I talk about today that would really make the biggest impact to you guys. What is it that you're asking? What would you really love to know? And I've really been taking this matter to prayer, and the thing that came to my heart for these next two episodes is talking about boundaries and really getting clear on what boundaries are, the different types of boundaries, why they're well, I don't. I think you guys know why they're important, but also like how to create them, and because I know that's something you guys are looking for and something that you need, I also put together a new freebie for you guys. I hope you guys will like it, but it's basically a process that you go through to help you basically clarify what your boundaries are and get better at creating them. Okay, and hopefully this episode today will give you the tools you need to be able to create the boundaries that make you feel safe, make you feel heard, make you feel important, seen, valued, cherished all of that, okay, all right. So, without further ado, let's dive in. This episode is going to be all about what is a boundary, okay, and next episode is going to be about how we create the boundary. Okay, there's some things that we really have to have in place in order to create a really, really solid boundary, and we're also going to talk about how to communicate that boundary. So that way it helps. So it's not going to be cross-threatening, but it's also something that you're going to be able to repeat consistently and just stick to. Okay, all right.

Speaker 1: 5:56

So, number one what is a boundary? Well, in order to talk about this, we need to talk about what a boundary is not. A boundary is not a punishment, it is not an ultimatum, and it is not about what you are going to tell somebody they have to do. Okay, it's not about controlling another person. Now, even though you wish, like I know for a fact, I have wished I could control someone before because they were like their actions were just driving me baddie, right, and they were not respectful towards me, and, yeah, like there's lots of times I wished that I could control another person, but you can't do that, unfortunately. Okay, because you can only control one person at a time, one.

Speaker 1: 6:52

Trying to control another person is impossible, unless like even if you were to knock that person out and string strings from them and make them a human marionette right, this person is still going to fight you because they have a mind of their own. You cannot control another person's mind very easily, okay, unless if you get into manipulation tactics, which those aren't fun. That's nobody likes that gaslighting, things like that. And if you're not loving manipulation and gaslighting, obviously you don't want to do those things yourself, right, but that is literally how we have to control another person is by manipulation and gaslighting, like literally brainwashing them. But that's a lot, that takes a lot. I definitely don't recommend that. I don't think that people who feel like they have to control another person by brainwashing them feel good at all, like I truly don't. And so we've got to come up with some different tactics here. And the other problem with this is when you're trying to control another person, you can't control yourself. You literally become out of control. Remember, you can only control one person at a time, and so if you're busy trying to control another person, where does that leave you out of control or, worst case scenario, in the control of someone else?

Speaker 1: 8:44

I think back to when I was trying to control my husband, and no judgment to me and no judgment to you if this is where you're at. That's all part of the trauma cycle, right, trying to control. But the more I tried to control him, the more I found myself in his control. Not that my husband would try to control me, but, like his actions, his actions made me feel crazy, his actions made me feel stupid. His actions, and that's actually one of the ways we start to realize that we're actually in that cycle. In that part of the cycle the trauma cycle is, we start to ask ourselves how am I feeling right now? And if I am feeling crazy, if I'm feeling unheard, if I'm feeling broken, if every single time they do something, I feel stupid, I feel dumb, I feel broken, I feel XYZ right, the chances are somewhere in our psyche. And again, no judgment, because I totally get it. The chances are somewhere in our psyche.

Speaker 1: 10:07

We are trying to control that person and I don't believe that it's a oh, what's the word? Intentional right. I truly don't believe that it's an intentional decision that you're making. If that's where you're at right, you're hurting and people don't make wise decisions or they don't think clearly. When they're in pain, right, you think about somebody who's just had their leg broken or any bone broken, right, all they can see is the pain and they just want the pain to stop. And if somebody, if they feel like somebody is hurting them even more, they're gonna wanna try to stop them as quickly as possible. So I get it. And emotional pain is often as severe or even worse than physical pain, like it's a real thing and your brain and your body actually respond to it similarly as what they would with physical pain. So it's not your fault, it is absolutely not your fault. But the boundary is what creates the ability for you to create safety, to stop someone from hurting you, and.

Speaker 1: 11:40

But we find ourselves at a bit of a disadvantage there, because boundaries have not been well understood or created for a very long time and I don't know where it started, to be honest with you, but I know like it's something that hasn't been well understood and therefore not well taught. We truly, as a society, do believe that boundaries are telling somebody else what they're going to do, right, but the problem is is that leaves us completely vulnerable, that leaves us exposed. And now, all of a sudden, we have a leaky boundary where we're not creating anything for ourselves. We're creating for someone else, consistently 24 seven, and they don't appreciate it, leading us to feel more and more unappreciated, unseen, unheard and all of these problems, and so we find ourselves in a very, very vicious cycle, right? So what do we do? How do we stop this problem? Well, number one, you've got to understand, like I said, what a true boundary is.

Speaker 1: 13:01

True boundaries are all about what you are going to do. They are all about actually keeping the control with yourself self control, remember. You can't control another person. It's not really possible unless you really sink to some very low tactics. But if that's what you do, you are also sinking very low yourself. And nobody, nobody, feels good when they are into mind games. Okay, and I know some people think that it looks like it might look like. You know, if you know somebody that is into mind games, it might look like they're on top of the world and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

Speaker 1: 13:55

But the reality is, and the truth of the matter is that person is very much out of alignment with themselves. Any person that truly knows themselves and likes who they are behaves in good ways. Remember, people don't behave above their self belief. People do not behave above what they believe about themselves. They just don't do it. If people believe they're worthless, they behave worthless. They allow people to kick them around. Or if people believe they're the only way to get ahead in life isn't to work hard, like if they don't believe that they can work hard, then they end up having to manipulate. Right? It really comes down to our self perception and our self beliefs.

Speaker 1: 14:55

All boundaries do you have to know who you are and what is important to you, like. What are your values? What do you value about yourself? A person that feels worthless is a person that has very, very few, if any, boundaries, and there's many different ways that manifests. So a boundary is all about you, what you are going to do. But that means, therefore, if you are going to start creating boundaries for you, that also means that you're going to have to take some time to get in and do some self care. Now, yes, self care is going to the spa, getting your hair done, taking a nice long, relaxing bath, reading a book, having that fun yes, that is all self care. But self care is actually more than that. Self care is actually caring about yourself. It is checking in with you.

Speaker 1: 16:08

How am I feeling and getting really, really clear, dialed in, about why you're feeling that way. Number two why or what am I thinking that's causing me to feel this way? Right? Is it true? Like, leave the other person out of the picture. We're not here to people, please, right? The only person you have to really really consider in the moment is you. It's not about like, but they would say this, they would think this, this other person, this other person no, it's not about them in that moment. It's about you, because boundaries are about you. So, what are you thinking? What are you feeling? And don't put any judgment on yourself as you start to get clear with this. Right, that's not what you're here for. You're simply here to show up for you and have your own back and start becoming your own best friend. And a good question to ask yourself when you're trying to do self care is how would my best friend be? And then that is how you show up for you. You have to like yourself. You have to love yourself To the point where you might not always be proud of every little moment and every little thing that happens.

Speaker 1: 17:48

Right, there's a lot of times I'm sitting here like oops, I'm sitting here like I'm sitting here like I'm sitting here like there's a lot of times I'm sitting here like oops, I probably should have thought that one through a little bit better. Right, I have that happen all the time, but that doesn't mean that I judge myself harshly. I'm human. I'm going to make mistakes, learn, and I'm here to learn from the things that I do right and the things that I do wrong. I'm here to learn from the things that other people do right and the things that other people do wrong. I'm just simply here to learn.

Speaker 1: 18:37

But if I put judgment on myself, that stops the learning process right there, and this is also one of the reasons why we begin to tell ourselves that we feel foolish. That is a sign that we're putting self judgment on ourselves and it just doesn't need to happen. It's not necessary. So dial it back. Stop the self judgment. You don't need it and just check in. Get a journal. Ask yourself how am I feeling about the situation? Why do I feel that way? What am I thinking? What are the thoughts there? Are those thoughts true? Are there possibly any other perceptions that could be true? If I believe those perceptions, does it make me feel more peace? Does it make me ignore the circumstance? How do I address the circumstance? These are all really really great questions to be asking yourself if you feel like you are trying to understand boundaries, if you're trying to create boundaries and if you're trying to create some safety for yourself.

Speaker 1: 20:01

The next piece to this there are seven main boundaries that I teach and I talk about in my courses and with my clients. I'm going to talk to you about each one of them quickly today, just to give you an idea of what the different types of boundaries are, so you can also start creating them. Let me also describe what a boundary is. If you think about I had a good friend well, I have a good friend who doesn't believe in boundaries. It is what it is. I am not here to convince anybody. I'm pretty sure this person, if somebody walked through their door with a gun to their family's faces and demanded all their money and their valuables, I'm pretty sure that person would not be okay with that. If you're not okay with that you probably have some boundaries. That's neither here nor there.

Speaker 1: 23:40

The reason why they didn't like the idea of boundaries is because they felt like it kept people out. It's a barrier that keeps people out. Yes, it does do that, because not everybody should be in your space. There are people that are not ready or honest enough to be in your space. Take the burglar, for example. That's a person that does not belong in your space, right? That is a person that needs to be left out. That being said, there are people that we do want in.

Speaker 1: 24:26

When you think about a fence, there's a gate to the fence. Instead of allowing people to jump our fence and trample our flowers and our vegetables right and track mud all through our house, we show them where to enter in. We show them where the gates are. This is where we start creating really powerful boundaries. It's because if somebody jumps our fence and tramples our flowers, that's really annoying. We're also going to show them where the gate is. Let them exit, close the gate behind them and say you know how's about you? Try using my gate instead, if you want to come into my space and use my gate with respect towards me, and then we're good, right, and then they can open the gate, they can walk up the path and into your space. Not jump the freaking fence and trample the flowers and the vegetables Okay that's not. And terrify the chickens heaven's first forbid. Okay, that's not what we do with boundaries. So, considering that there are seven different types of boundaries, boundary number one is the listening boundary. Now, the listening boundary is the most powerful boundary Because it takes a really good skill of listening to create any boundary, whether it be talking physical, sexual, energetic, time, money, any of that.

Speaker 1: 26:24

Okay, you have to be able to listen to yourself, the other person, the other people and what's going on around you. You really have to be able to listen to your gut. To be able to create good, solid boundaries, you need to be able to listen to your situations. Heaven's. I've been teaching boundaries for years now and I'm getting better. I still get better and better and better at them. I feel like now I do a really good job.

Speaker 1: 26:58

But there's even times where I feel out of control with myself, right, and those times, I'll be honest, I'm kind of shocked. I'm like whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Hold on, what just happened? Like, why do I feel out of control? Right, I do. I get really, really surprised by those moments, so they don't happen super often, but when I'm feeling out of control, I need to listen and say what is the boundary that needs to be put in place here? Right, what boundary have I not created that needs to be put in place?

Speaker 1: 27:45

And remember, a boundary is all about how you are going to act and how you are going to respond. So the listening boundary, it's all about you listening so you really, really understand. It's not listening so you can respond, like formulate a response or a comeback or a retort right, it's listening so you truly understand where the other person or even where you are coming from or what is really happening around you. It is important, in order for you to set a very solid boundary, you need to learn the skill of listening and that will give you clarity. Okay, a boundary. Oftentimes people create boundaries and then they find that those boundaries unravel really, really quickly and they start to feel crazy again and guilty for setting a boundary. I'm sure there's plenty of you out there that have done that. I've done that right, but it's because they didn't take time to really listen first.

Speaker 1: 29:09

Okay, listening to what the other person is really saying, feeling like they can ask really good questions, and we're getting into the talking boundary there a little bit, okay, but just making sure you truly, truly understand where you are coming from or the other person is coming from and what is happening around you. Number two is your talking boundary. Now you can tell like the listening boundary and the talking boundary are going to really, really intersect. They're going to go back and forth quite a bit, and the reason why that is is because you have to be able to listen, to formulate and understand right In order to formulate good questions. Okay, to make sure you truly do understand and questions come from that talking boundary.

Speaker 1: 30:04

You want to listen and speak with respect. Okay, again, this comes down to knowing who you are. For me, I am a respectful person, right? So therefore I want to speak respectfully to the people that are around me. I have to become very good at the talking and the listening boundary in order to do that. So I'm going to ask really really good questions to make sure I understand where the other person is coming from before I formulate any type of response.

Speaker 1: 30:39

Maybe they have a point, Maybe they don't, but even if they don't have a point, often times, my questions to understand them can help guide them to a better perspective. And that's really all I have to do, because a person convinced against their will is of the same opinion. Still, right, we're not here to convince anybody to do anything different. We're not here to convince somebody to change. We are here to literally make the best decisions possible for ourselves so that way we can act accordingly to who we are. So when we listen to someone, we can come together, find common ground. Or if that person is narcissistic and again, I don't judge narcissists either there's psychological things behind that. That might be a podcast for another day, all. But even with people that are narcissistic and say that it has to be you, that's the problem. They can't have any part of the problem, right? Well then you can at least listen to that and realize. You know this is a person that is telling me right now that they can't handle being in my space, and so we get to make some decisions about what we do there.

Speaker 1: 32:11

Okay, the third boundary is your physical boundary. Now, physical boundary, obviously. You know. We talked about that a minute ago, you know, with the example of the robber just walking in your house, putting a gun to somebody's head and demanding all of your valuables like they had some right to them, right? Yeah, nobody's going to be okay with that Nobody. So we tend to put up security systems in place. We have the police there to help with our physical boundary right, plus many other things that we can use to keep our home safe locks, alarms, police maybe somebody might learn how like how to hold a gun, carry a gun, and they might have a concealed carry permit all for self-protection, right? I mean, we live in a world nowadays where people are just I'm sorry to say it kind of crazy and they do really dangerous things, and so it's important that we keep our physical space safe.

Speaker 1: 33:33

Another place that we need to keep our physical space is safe is online your social media accounts, your groups, instagram, like any of those things also just being on the computer in general, right, we put up firewalls, we put up all kinds of different things to keep our online spaces safe as well. You know, if you're a parent of a teenage kid who likes to game I'm one of them right, you have to put up certain rules and certain things in place to keep your kids safe online, like it's a major thing nowadays that's part of your physical space now. So, like for me, I have set rules around the internet time and I am the one that controls, like every single device. I have an ability, an app on my phone where I can turn the internet on and off to certain devices anytime I want. Because, number one, they need to learn responsibility and they need to learn time management. And not only that, too, if there's a threat, I can turn the internet off to that device immediately. We also put time limits around, like there's lots of different things that we do to keep our kids safe. We also give them set rules, right, and I check in with them often, ask them to sit down with me and show me their phones. And it's not because I don't trust the kids. It's because I don't trust the people that want to get at my kids right. And so we have these discussions with my kids. We really use the listening and talking boundary here as well, because I don't want my kids thinking that I don't trust them, that I think that they're irresponsible or that something's going to go, like they're going to do something wrong. It's legitimately. I don't trust other people around them. My job is to protect my kids, and so we sit down and we go through their things, I listen to them and it actually becomes a connection point between me and one of my children because I really get to check in with them and that's all it becomes, without judgment Again.

Speaker 1: 36:06

The fourth boundary is your sexual boundary. Now, personally, I have a boundary and I've had a boundary since I was a little girl and especially being a member of the Church of Jesus Christ the Latter-day Saints, I believe that sexual relationships should be saved for marriage. I didn't get into any type of sexual relationship before I married my husband, so that would be a boundary for me. And it's a very good boundary because I don't have the pain of comparing my husband to a past boyfriend or a past person in one of the most vulnerable ways you can compare a person to them. If you're a wife whose husband has been struggling with pornography or any kind of sexual addiction, you know the pain of being compared to someone else and how that destroys a marriage, and that's not something I need, that's not something I want to do to my husband and that creates a lot of pain within me too, if I'm the one doing the comparing, feeling like I somehow missed out or somehow I was jipped. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, right? Simply because my spouse is actually human and actually physically there, and they have aging and other things that happen to them, right? This is part of the reason why one of the few, actually one of the least reasons why pornography is so damaging.

Speaker 1: 37:53

I truly believe pornography is a satanic ritual, if I'm going to be very, very clear, and there's a lot of reasons why I believe that and a lot of things that I've studied and seen that has caused me to come to that conclusion and so it's very evil and that's one of the things that is possibly part of our sexual boundaries, right, and one of the things that can violate our sexual boundaries is because intimacy between two people is a time where we become very, very vulnerable with the person we are making love to, and if that is disrespected in any way, we become deeply wounded. That is one of the deepest wounds a person can receive, and so it's really important to have some type of sexual boundary in place. What are you okay with and what are you not okay with in your bedroom? I'm not okay with the porn. Personally, I'm not okay with having sexual relationships outside of marriage. I'm not okay with any of that, and so, therefore, I have to put in certain things that I am going to do if something like that ever becomes violated, right?

Speaker 1: 39:35

So, for example, you know, say my husband is struggling with pornography. Right, I might say something along the lines of hey, I can tell this is a big struggle for you. I don't want you to feel judged. I'm not trying to make you feel anything less than what you are, because I think you're fabulous. However, this is not something I can allow in my home. So if you're going to insist on bringing it in by looking at it anywhere, then these are the actions that I have to take. Maybe that's leaving. Maybe that's kicking him out, right, maybe that's changing your locks. Luckily, my husband is the type of person who you know will communicate with me and come up with a solution together. Something like that comes up right. So it's really important to want to know what it is you want in any type of a sexual relationship, and being very, very clear with how you keep those vulnerable pieces of you safe with another person and what types like how you're going to respond when those things are being violated. And again, even the sexual boundary has something to do with the listening, the talking and the physical boundary. So, you know, getting clear with those will also help you clarify your sexual boundary.

Speaker 1: 41:21

The fifth boundary is the energetic boundary, and the best way to clarify this is, like you know, you've just gotten a vibe from someone, right? If you walk into, like, a doctor's office and you see that one person sitting there and you just get this vibe from them, right, that's actually your energetic boundary being violated in some way. And you know, in a doctor's office you've got lots of people around you. Sometimes, you know, you just kind of have to, like, sit on the other side of the office as far away as possible from that person, right? But sometimes too, you know, this is where we get into saying things like I don't feel good going down that alleyway, or I feel like something is wrong and maybe we need to slow down if we're going down the road. It's basically like listening to your gut, okay, listening to what your gut is telling you. You might not have the exact reasons why, and it's not necessarily even just always acting in worry and anxiety. You just have this knowing that you need to, that something needs to change, something needs to happen. You need to do something.

Speaker 1: 42:53

So an example of this okay, not too long ago, I was driving and I just got this gut feeling that I needed to slow down and I live in an area where you know, there's a lot of wildlife right and they get taken out by cars all the time. But I had this just instinct, just this gut instinct telling me you need to slow down. And so I did and I started watching really, really, really carefully, and there in the road, if I hadn't, like, as I was coming around this turn, was this giant bull elk. He was huge right, and I would have hit him had I chosen to ignore that energetic hit right. There's also another time, when I was a little girl, I had that same feeling, that just intuitive ooh, something's wrong, right. And we have this like just the sixth sense when, like from being children and stuff, like we're born with this, and I was with my family in like not a gift shop but like a visitor center, and I remember turning around and watching me through a window and the guy was on the outside was this guy? He was smoking a cigarette and he was watching me and he beckoned for me to come to him and I just had this sick, sick feeling and I ran to my dad and that guy took off and come to find out like a little while later he we saw him on the news as somebody who had kidnapped somebody's little girl, right. So he was, yeah, like things like that. Right, it happens that is an energetic boundary, and the more we ignore what our gut is telling us, the more we ignore that energetic boundary, and so it's really really important that we listen to that intuition as well. Okay, so that's that boundary.

Speaker 1: 45:29

You also have your time boundary. Now. This is a big one that I think a lot of people do not honor. If we time and money are the last two boundaries, you've got your time boundary and you've got your money boundary, and I think a lot of people, if they're really, really stressed about money, they just give their time out. You know, like crazy. But the problem is is that creates more stress around time and money. When say, like you know, you want to create some money, provide something for your family, provide something for yourself, and so you don't create any appointments for yourself, you just shove things wherever they go. Other important things get shoved out like missed right, and you're constantly having to reschedule friends or maybe appointments for you or anything like that.

Speaker 1: 46:37

That's not having a good time boundary, and if you don't have good time boundaries, you also don't have good money boundaries, because your time is your one commodity that you cannot create more of. Right, we're a lot of 24 hours every single day and somewhere in there we really need to sleep. Okay, and if you're not sleeping, you're also violating your physical boundary. Right, time is a major, major piece to this and it actually kind of does go into all the other boundaries as well. You need to listen to how your time is responding and if you're feeling chaotic all the time, we need to get you organized.

Speaker 1: 47:19

Okay, with your time having a schedule and, yes, obviously there are times when things have to be thrown out of the schedule, right, like if your child breaks their arm. You're not going to say, oh sorry, honey, I can't take you to the emergency room because I have a business meeting right now, right? No, we don't do that. We cancel the business meeting and take our child to the hospital, because that becomes the priority in that moment. Right, but if you feel like you're in this fight or flight with time, that's an indicator that your time is not serving you well or you're not actually serving time well, okay. And so one of the things I really, really suggest doing if you're feeling chaos all the time, is to take a look at what you want your days to look like. Create time boundaries around them, make sure you have time for your family, make sure you have time for yourself, set appointments with you, set appointments with your family, and those things do not get violated for any reason other than emergencies, like legitimate emergencies okay.

Speaker 1: 48:36

And if somebody else creates the emergency like if you have a boss or something like that that's constantly creating emergencies and saying you've got to come in right now, even though you've got something scheduled, you need to be looking for a new job okay, and there's plenty out there. And the last one is your money boundary. If you feel like money is not showing up for you or you feel like you can't trust money to show up for you, again we want to check into the time boundary. We want to listen to what our thoughts are about money, because we want to have a good relationship with money. We want to feel like it can come in, it can serve us and it has a purpose, right?

Speaker 1: 49:26

One of the best things to do is to actually sit down, figure out what your bills are, make sure that amount of money is coming in every single month, and then also asking yourself like, what else would I really like to do? How do I create those things? Okay, but that's where we start listening to money and starting to ask ourselves questions like what do I really think and feel about money? Is that true? And how do I create more? Okay, all right, my loves. So that is, in a nutshell, what boundaries are.

Speaker 1: 50:04

I've talked about the seven different types of boundaries. What is a boundary? What it is not? So in the next podcast, what we're going to talk about is how do we actually start to create the boundary and how do we start living the boundary? Okay, all right, my loves From my heart to your heart.

Speaker 1: 50:29

I hope this was helpful. I hope that it gave you some hope. Go grab the boundary creator freebie that I have done for you, and in the meantime, I'll see you on the other side, guys, bye. Okay, so I've got a question for you. Have you joined my free Facebook group or Instagram page yet? If you haven't, go and do that, and this is the reason why I always post my freebies, updated information and all kinds of goodies for my community in that page.

Speaker 1: 51:24

I'm also really active. I post videos, I answer questions. So if you guys really really want to get in and interact with me, go like me on Facebook. Go join my group. The other side of the struggle healing from betrayal trauma. Come find me on Instagram, erin Anderson, betrayal trauma coach, and come follow me, because I always have something good there just for you, my audience, and I love connecting with you there. I also post anytime that I have groups going on. I talk sometimes about my programs. So if you guys are interested in working with me or even just following me and getting as much free content as you possibly can, go hang out in my group, go connect with the ladies that are there. Also, come and join Immune and Unashamed for those married couples that are following me, because in that group, me and my business partner, kaisin Kidd, are also talking and offering some great content.