Heard it from the Haydens
Heard it from the Haydens
Life to the Fullest
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We're back!! Inspired more than ever to share in this season with y'all! Always desiring healthy conversation about the deep things of life. We hope it finds you well and speaks right to where you are at!
Well, hello everyone. Welcome back to the podcast. We got Taylor with us, obviously.
SPEAKER_03Hello. Hello.
SPEAKER_00We're finally doing this thing. Uh, we wanted to do it so bad for so long. We've got uh so many updates, we've got I feel like the reason why we want to do this has just been refreshed in us and we know why. Yeah, and that's the biggest thing. Uh I don't like moving forward with anything that I don't know why I'm doing it. It it can be um yeah, discouraging when you don't know why. And I think if we could tell everyone why we're doing this again and remind them if they haven't uh heard us speak before and or been around us as friends, we really care a lot about people and their their life and their purpose, and I think we're still figuring ours out, even though we do know it, and then at the same time we're still figuring things out. Yeah. It's both. Totally as parents, we now know that you can have an amazing day and a hard day in the same day.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_00And so I feel like you can both know your purpose and then also be confused, totally, lost. And I think it's a faith journey, and faith is not by sight, and so you can be confident, but also not necessarily know. Um so both can be true. And so I say all that to say uh we want to help people that are in that space. Yeah. We want to help people that are trying to figure out what their next step in life is, and we just want to have fun and we want to figure out what is life, like what it where is the life at? And I think we have some really good things to to say about that.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_00What do you have to say?
SPEAKER_03I was I was gonna say I was just chatting with a friend and they were asking about the podcast and stuff, and they said, like, what's your like age demographic? Which is like, I mean, we're generational. We don't have an age gener or an age demographic. Generational. But I was just like challenged with the thought because as I was saying it, I was like, oh, I feel like a lot of the people that come to us or say that like what we've said on the podcast has made an impact in their life are those people that are in transition, and whether that's like from school to college, or whether that's from college to career, or whether that's career to career change, or um, yeah, just like dating and entering an engagement, renting a marriage. And then I started thinking, and I'm like, the transition period is kind of your whole life, and it's I was like challenged by that because I was like, Yeah, like the transition period, and then I'm like, well, we're kind of still always operating in transition. And I feel like a pastor just said that at church, like he's he has kids that are, you know, going to college, and he's like, I feel like I'm still in transition because it's like okay, now I'm transitioning out of this season, and it's like, what's next for me? Or like you enter the stage where you're retiring, kind of like where our parents are at, and they're all in transition. So I feel like you never stop transitioning, and there's always like an unknown. And yeah, it's like I feel like we kept feeling like when we're not in transition, then we like we'll have something to say, or like something to add value to someone else once we're out of that season. But we're never gonna be out of that season, and I think that just going through that with people and like doing life with people is literally what Jesus wants us to do, is do life with people, and whether you know you guys are coming to listen to us and we're transitioning too, and it's just cool that we have anything of value that can um just encourage you guys and and give you guys a little bit of a I don't know, like a an encouragement for your next steps because we feel the same.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, and I feel that even in that you can find confidence in not knowing, depending on what you turn to.
SPEAKER_03Totally.
SPEAKER_00And all of us are turning to something, and I've been really challenged by lately of what am I doing with the space in my life, and some of us fill that space. So I've been really challenged to be slow to speak and quick to listen.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_00So I want to have my ears wide open, want to have my eyes wide open, and I want to have my heart wide open to whatever God would have. And I want to stay in that curious, wondering position where I don't know. I uh but it's an exciting place to be at when you have confidence in the Lord. Yeah, and you have to first know what he says in his word. So that's where confidence comes from is God, you said, and if you said, then we're good. You know, his word is life. And so what I've noticed is that even in conversations with people, instead of like me and Taylor are obsessed with getting to the heart of the issue in a conversation, like let's skip the weather talk, let's go to the deep stuff right away. Yeah, and I know that can be overwhelming for some people because going to those deep places is very revealing. Yeah, it's like you know, I I think about this at the beach, the beach is very re revealing because you're like not wearing a lot of clothes, yeah, right? So you have to like really be confident in some ways when you're at the beach, and it reveals there's rawness. You're you you can't cover up with a full outfit and makeup, and it's it's it all just erases at the beach. And I and I think I enjoy that level playing field. Yeah, uh, it's very grounding in a natural way. Yeah, but I think in a conversation or in relationships, when you can go to those deep places, uh that's where the good stuff's at. And uh it could be where the uh the rough stuff is, but that's okay because if you have that hidden forever, uh it's eventually gonna come out. And your foundation is the most important. And so the closer you can get to that deep area of your heart and your life, you can start addressing what's the foundation of what you believe and what are you building your life upon and what's that compass that drives every decision that you make.
SPEAKER_03Or on the flip side, you you never deal with it, and those little tiny things become habits and thoughts and insecurities and bitterness, and these things grow and they ultimately alter your life and the direction that you go because they've been undealt with, and that can be like life-changing, um just to be aware of what those things are in your life and just to pray over them because I feel like once you know, then the enemy doesn't have power over them because you can surrender them, and then those things can begin to work themselves out, and the Lord can bring, you know, people into your life that can help that. Um, He can speak to you directly, and those things can begin to work themselves out, and then you can find that place of like freedom. And I was picturing like people, there's always like certain, there's always like different people on the beach, right? Like you're there's people that are like real comfy in their chair, like fully enclosed with tennis shoes. Oh yeah, and then there's like people that are like, you know, kind of half undressed, under the umbrella, like kind of interested, but not totally, and then there's people that are like a little bit shy walking down into the water and like putting their toes in, but feeling a little uncomfy, and then there's those people that charge it that are just like sprinting, running in, not caring, taking their hair out on the way down, and it's like I want to be so free that I'm like always that person that's just not caring what anyone else on the beach is doing, and just running the race freely, and I feel like that's like a picture of life because there's people like that in life too. Like there's there's people that are dealing with stuff, and we're all dealing with stuff, but just to to be constantly in surrender to the Lord is just that's like where joy and freedom is found, and you're not trying to be cool, you're not worried about what other people are doing, you're not you're not even caught up in your own mind, which I feel like a that's where a lot of us have issues, is maybe it's not even other people that you're worried about, but it's your own self-critic talk and doubt and fears. Totally.
SPEAKER_00So Taylor is that person for so many people, like practically, she's the one that says, Everybody, let's go jump in the water. I don't care if we've got our makeup on, like, come on with me, let's do it. And then spiritually, that's also what she's doing, and that's also what this podcast is for. Let's jump into the water, totally, let's go for it. And there's so many excuses in life. And I feel bad that we've been victims of that with our own time and with using our voice. We can just say, Ah, I don't want to upset people, I don't want to get them uncomfortable out of their seat. I remember there was one friend, I was like, let's go to the beach, and he's like, Well, we don't have a chair, and I just thought that was the funniest thing ever. It's like, really? Because we don't have a chair. And I can call back float. It's called full sand churro rolling.
SPEAKER_02Sugar cookie.
SPEAKER_00It that's half the fun, is the mess. Yeah. And just going for it and being grounded in and letting go in those ways. But I can feel very passionate about people, and we've had literally listeners of this podcast tell us I moved because of what you guys were saying. And I I know that that's the power of speaking and making action, and that can be uh humbling and something that I'm like, oh, I don't know. I don't know if I want someone to make those rash decisions, but here here's what I can say I do want. I do want someone to not operate in fear and someone to not be held back because of a bunch of small inconveniences.
SPEAKER_03So or systems that you think are true.
SPEAKER_00Yes, so I'm thinking I I don't want to make this an anti-college conversation, but there's a level of safety and security in a college system that avoids you having to do the work and apprentice under some someone that is gonna give you an absolute masterclass at it, but is gonna challenge you to go higher, deeper, and farther and and to step out. And it's gonna be you have to be confident in who you are in uh to to to speak relationally with someone that's way better than you. Yeah, and that is what holds a lot of people back is the fear of I'm less because they're more, right? But they actually have what you need and they can inspire you to be the best you. We don't need another one of them, we need another one of you because there's only one, exactly, and so uh yeah, that's that's a tangent. I don't know if you have anything to add to that.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, I was just gonna say it just reminds me of like always being a student, and again, with like not it being directed toward a certain age, you can choose to be a student forever, and I think that Jesus likes that posture of our heart because knowledge puffs up, and the more that you think you know, yes, it's funny because when you actually start learning, the more you learn and know, the more you realize you actually don't know.
SPEAKER_02Right.
SPEAKER_03And so it's often the people that don't know a lot that act like they do, right? And so, yeah, those so just to kind of bounce that, just to constantly be a student. And I feel like I just was talking to someone about this, trying to think what that was about. It was kind of just like New Year's vibes, which you all know if you've listened to our podcast, I'm a big New Year's girl. Um, love a goal. But um, yeah, we were just chatting. Like, we wanna just because we're 30 now, we don't want to stop ever stop doing new things. Like, yeah, whether that's like learning something new, doing a new activity, like for me, I've been super interested in wanting to learn how to sew. And it's like I can't just walk into there acting like I are, oh, I know fashion, I know everything about this. It's like, no, you walk in humble and you walk in willing and open and ready to learn as a student. And I think that there's something to be said there in in spiritual life, but also just in relationship and real life. Like I'm always learning stuff about you, even being married to you for almost 10 years. It's because you're changing and so am I. And so just always being willing to to be a student and being willing to I don't know, look like you don't have it all together. Cause let's be honest, even the people that you look up to, they don't have it all together. I feel like I've lot I've met a lot of my heroes in the past five years. Yeah. And the thing that I've come to realize is they're human.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_03And that's the beauty of it, is so are you, and you have something to give and something to add value, and yeah.
SPEAKER_00So many things to add to that. I would say this. Um you said you're a human and I don't want to open the can of worms of AI, but I think now more than ever you have to really know why you're doing something. Because you can shortcut it. You could you could get the information. But I was thinking about lately with like a lot of fires going on out here, if you lost everything, what would remain? Well, what is uh literally priceless is the experiences and the knowledge and the character that would always stay with you. So you could lose the business, but uh you could still have you, which is your everything you learned, which is your business's best asset. Right. And so college can be good and learning can be good if it is with that intention. But if you think that it's gonna get you where you're gonna go, that starts with faithfulness and what you sow you reap. And so the only way to start sowing is to get out there in the field, put the seed in the ground, and then there's waiting involved, and there's patience. And I'm learning so much just to be content with today because tomorrow you can't control and to be oh wow, dude. Yeah, this is a vintage mic. It goes alien mode. It's gonna be Star Wars. Uh so many distractions, bro. It's crazy. Um yeah, I had so many riffs. Like what's funny about me is my mind will riff and then I'll I'll riff again and then again, and then after I'm like three or four deep, um I've lost it. Um I've lost it.
SPEAKER_03It's we need to do what we did before where we both have notebooks, and while each other is talking, we can write down little dots so we don't forget.
SPEAKER_00That's amazing dialing.
SPEAKER_03But it's been it's been a minute since we've been here.
SPEAKER_00So Yeah. I can just I we I think we care so much about people and them not wasting life and living for so far in the future, retirement, and I mean we beat that down like crazy.
SPEAKER_03Um I think you were you were talking about like your your experiences and your life and your humanness is what like sets you apart more than anything, and like the things that can come and like the fires can take those things out of your Yeah, I I'd say another thing I'm on lately is uh packaging versus substance.
SPEAKER_00I'm I'm really exhausted from everybody just let's create the branding, let's create the page, let's create the promo. And it's like for what? What are we selling?
SPEAKER_03Totally.
SPEAKER_00And there's a lack of care in some people that drives me insane for the substance. I want to get to the source. Don't sell me some red 40 like soda with great marketing, right? Sell me uh water that's been straight from a well that has the nutrients I need to live a healthier life.
SPEAKER_02Totally.
SPEAKER_00That sells itself.
SPEAKER_02Exactly.
SPEAKER_00And so I think a lot of us we want to start the business and we're trying to figure it out. I would just say become obsessed with what it what's the substance to and ask ask why.
SPEAKER_02Totally.
SPEAKER_00Um and that's why I think yeah, I think I think I'm just so obsessed with that. And and with AI, the it kind of it feeds that packaging person mindset. Oh, I can like shortcut cutting corners, yeah. And I just wonder what's lost. I mean, you're talking to some guy that doesn't even like digital photos, I like the real deal. So totally anything film, anything analog, I want to touch it, I want to feel it, I wanna I want to get close to like music that is from tape. Yeah, like there is something that you can reach out and touch. There's a tangibleness to all that.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, and it's so funny because just to put that in perspective, we did this little family photo booth the other day, and you know, you see those all the time, they're like popping up everywhere now. People are like putting them in their coffee shops and their vintage clothing stores and whatever. But me and Noah always loved doing them, and we found one recently, and it was taking forever to come out, and we're like, this is real film, and it comes out and it's wet, and we're like, oh my gosh, this is literally film. And even though like half of our heads cut off, it's not like the perfect picture frame where like some of the ones we've done digitally are like perfect because you can redo it and stuff, get multiple tries, it's like that's the one hanging on our fridge, it feels better because it's real, yeah. And yeah, I feel like that's just that's how I want to be as a person. Is like I just want to be real, even if it's a little bit messy, and even if it's a little bit yeah, misunderstood sometimes, yeah, or I don't know, taken out of context or just judged. Yeah, that's fine because it's real and it's authentic, and it's like I don't know, I feel like I'm just I'm tired of like what you were saying, like the packaging, just like I feel like there's just this weight of like hiding certain things about yourself in order to to look a certain way or be this certain image or however you want to be perceived because that's like such a thing in this world, is like, how am I perceived? And it's like nobody was thinking about that pre-social media, it's you're perceived how you are in your community, yeah. But now it's like we can create these false identities and these pictures, and it it confuses us because we're like, wait, I can be this person, I can be this, I can pretend to be this, I can pretend to be that. It's like just strip it down and be yourself, it's the easiest image to maintain, and yeah, and it's just yeah, it's it's raw.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, and that and that brings up a great point. So being about fashion, being about material things is not bad if the motive is in line, like it can be beautiful to make. Like I've been very inspired by if the clothes don't fit right, well, fix them yourself, right? Yeah, like there's something fun and and uniquely specific to me about that, and I love that, and I don't want to wear. What someone else is wearing that that does not inspire me because I want it as a form of self-expression. But then for someone else, that may be exhausting, which that could come down to exposure and your life experiences, why you view that that way. Um, but there's another thing that I've been thinking about lately is that all misunderstandings, fights, and um divisions and like the attacks online and all the different, you know, bad things that we see in this world, they all could be cured by those people that are against each other coming together and doing life close to each other um for a period of time and actually listening, slowing down and getting to know each other. I love to say that if they actually knew me, they would love me.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_00And as weird as that sounds, like, oh, they would love me. It's just they don't I know without a shadow of a doubt, if they knew me as a person, my family, and were looking me in the eyes and spend time with me, they would they would become my best friend. Moving from that place, um, I would say this. What do you see right now that is inspiring to you? And what are you looking forward to in this next season?
SPEAKER_03Oh, me?
unknownYeah.
SPEAKER_03Okay.
SPEAKER_00Um no, the other person I'm doing the podcast with.
SPEAKER_03I thought you were talking to the audience. It's a great question to ponder about driving in your car or whatever you're doing. Um, I would say I'm inspired by right now. Probably like realistic or like spiritually.
SPEAKER_02Whatever.
SPEAKER_03Home decor. Because I don't know if we've told the podcast, but we got a house this year. And that last year actually. And that's really exciting. Um, so yeah, we've just been building and and I guess it's kind of an update, but we've just been building and redoing and ripping things out that are ugly and replacing it with what we like, and I feel like this summer has been really great. I've slowed down a lot and I haven't really been working a lot, which can be a little uninspiring, just because as a creative, it's fun to create. But I feel like I've been doing it in different ways. Like we got some fruit trees in the backyard, we've got some flowers planted, some hibiscus, got some new, yeah, just some new vegetation planted in the backyard. And it's been so fun just slowing down in my days and going out there and watering my plants and spending time outside in the sun and listening to music. And I feel like I was telling Noah, I feel like the Lord like wants us to have plants because there's something about daily having to take care of it, and then like seeing the fruit of the labor of your hands, and there's not a lot of things like that anymore. Um, especially in our world, because everything I do is digital. Um, even though I I love analog things and I try to do my best with that, but the reality is photos and stuff. I guess modeling is is analog, it's just me raw dogging it. But but yeah, I don't know. I guess I'm inspired by home decor. I'm inspired, I've been on Pinterest creating the most random boards of just fonts and colors and um textures and things that have been inspiring me lately. Um what was the rest of the question?
SPEAKER_00No, I have something to say. So I think you bring up a cool thing with work and the change of season, and what you have in this season might look a lot different than last season. And as parents, I've realized we're in a new season and it happened so fast, and the hard season was over in specific areas and new things have opened up, and I just think it's a great reminder that there is seasons and one may feel like winter, but spring's coming. One might feel like full of one specific thing and and it's not gonna be forever good or bad. Right? So it's such a refreshing thing that God does renewing us that if we stay in the same season for too long, there's stagnance and there's uh it causes all kinds of problems. But just to hang in there, because not all seasons are for conquering and for winning, and uh like you need the losing season to teach you uh the character, and there there's things to gain in that. Even in a loss, you know, you see a lot of sports teams, there's takeaways and a loss. Well, why'd we lose? Well, our attitude, our our work ethic, our teamwork, and there's there's a game plan that prepares you for the win and the loss. And you'll only way you know the the thrill of victory is because of the agony of defeat. And so for work for people, uh, I would say this that if you're in a stuck position, because work is a blessing, and it you were made to have something, to work with your hands. Jesus was a carpenter, uh, Paul made tents, and the Bible says we're his workmanship created for good works beforehand that we should walk in them. Uh so there is a call and a and a and a walk that you should do with your life. And uh you may feel that it's different than what you have in front of you right now, and that's okay. But but don't miss what you have, what n what's in front of you. Because what's in front of you is necessary for what's next. And if you aren't faithful with what's in front of you, then how can you expect anything to happen next? Uh you just stay put. And I think uh uh there's some people that take that to the extreme and they never move on to the next season out of fear. Um so you can stay put for too long. Uh so I know that it's a day-by-day balance of getting in quiet time with God and being content and practicing thankfulness, gratitude, and faithfulness with what's in your hand, thanking God for what's in your hand and then being faithful with what it is and letting him grow it, and then always being curious. I think what led us to be here in California was that curiosity, but it was not discontentment. So there's a huge difference. Discontentment is upset where you're at, so you want to long for something else. What I see a lot of today, because comparison is so rampant, is people want the fruit that someone else is yielding. So you bring up an amazing point of the of the planting and seeing it grow, and then literally we've tasted of our own fruits. We've got passion fruit trees, we've got lime trees, we have flowers that we keep in our house. So uh there's something beautiful about tasting of the fruit of the faithfulness of years and time, and you don't you don't want to envy what other people have because that's a result of the faithfulness in their life. What you should envy is uh God working in them and abiding and and producing that fruit. So if you envy anything, don't envy the fruit. Envy the connection point and allow that to be a godly jealousy that uh uh uh makes you turn to the right thing so that you can start producing fruit. So yeah, that's my tangent on fruit.
SPEAKER_03Um I was gonna add something. I should have had my journal to write down. Um yeah, I was gonna say, going back to what you said, those hard years of parenting in the beginning, it's like Sayla's only three and a half, but we just had, you know, if you listened before, we had a a a hard um first year, and I think that's just because we were out here alone, we didn't know what we were doing. We were kind of the first of our friends to have kids. Um but I feel like all of those things that were worked out in me in those early years of becoming a mom and becoming parents um have become fruit now. And if there's one thing in parenting that we've learned, it's it's that it's humbling because as soon as you think you figure something out, everything changes. Um and I think that's just true to life too, is is I don't think we're we're meant to be in these secure places in our lives all the time. I think that there's seasons, like what Noah was saying, where where you go through, you know, really intense valleys and then you get to the mountaintop and it feels good, it feels safe, and you're like, I kind of just want to stay here. Um, but you wouldn't feel you wouldn't know what those feelings feel like if you didn't go through the valleys and the hard times and and learn those things. And I I feel like in my own life becoming a mom is very stripping and pruning because you're not just caring about yourself all day, every day, like before. You're caring for someone else and you're responsible for someone else and someone else's needs, and there's moments where you know your hands are full and you just have to say no to things, and saying no to self doesn't feel good, but those are lessons that need to be learned, and I think that parenting really sharpens that and you can learn a little bit of that in marriage, but I think kids just really really push those boundaries because it's just constant needs, and there's not a lot of compromise, it's just like you having to tell yourself no, and that doesn't feel good in the beginning, but I feel like now that I've learned those lessons time after time after time, there's moments now in like not in parenting, but in other areas of my life where I can tell myself no easily, where beforehand I couldn't do that, and that was because I had to go through some of those valleys of you know just having a a different type of kid that wasn't easy a lot of the times, and yeah, I feel like I forgot what the other thing was that I was gonna say, but I can't remember something about it.
SPEAKER_00Yes, and along those lines, it's like we had to strip of ourselves of the explanation of giving someone the full understanding of our situation. It felt like in the hardest moments we just wanted someone to understand and get it, and so we we've had to keep disclaiming and doing everything we can, but now as you just mature in life, you realize if that person is willing to listen, you can take them down a journey to explain. If it's not from a place of we've been using this analogy of like the cup half empty or full or overflowing, it's a lot of your relationships you can boil down to like is this person a half-empty person? Because if so, they'll depend on you to fill them, yeah, and they'll be in the second you stop filling them up, they will like be upset or disappear because they have to go get that fill from something else. Yeah, and so sometimes we view relationships as a as a form of to fill a need, and that's never what they were intended to be. That points to a greater need of your relationship with God, your relationship with between your family, your the closest ones to you, and and that starts to be the inner person that needs work, and we all have needs, we all have voids, and so the I have a plank in my own eye, and I can speak with confidence because I know that that's when I find myself needing those friendships, it it is a little alarming, like oh, maybe my connection uh with my wife with God is is not filling like it should. Um and I want to be a person that overflows, that has excess to where I don't have to make the conversation about me. Um I can participate in it, and you can you just know you just know an unprocessed person in a conversation when you bring up apples and they all of a sudden say, Oh yeah, when I was five, I had apples, and and they they turn everything back to their own experience, which some of that is just participating in a conversation, but you can tell when it dismantles where the true substance of the conversation was headed. Um, and I just don't want to be that. Like I said, I want to be slow to speak and quick to listen, and and when I do speak, I want to be that that builds up and not tears down. And what we notice a lot is there seems to be this theme of many people love to gossip gossip. Um they they find a lot of connection with others when you can discuss something that is going wrong with someone else. I don't know if that's from it feels good that hey, somebody's doing a lot worse than us. I don't know if that's the spirit, but all I know is that I don't like it because it is not to the heart of the issue and it seems like a huge waste of time. Uh and I think it comes down to I want people to understand what I'm going through, and it's the golden rule, you know, treat others as you would want to be treated, and I want someone to give me the grace to have the the liberty to speak and to give context to how I've gone through something. And I don't know, I just I just don't do it, I don't do the gossip thing, so much so that sometimes as like husband and wife, we'd it's a funny thing to try to process versus gossip. Like what what is that line? I'm still trying to figure it out. Um, but I think it is if it's in love, you're not tearing the person down, and also if you're willing to be a part of the solution in that. Otherwise, I've found that I don't have an opinion towards how other people live their life if I'm not the one that is gonna be connected or a part of the greater solution or the healing in that person. You have thoughts?
SPEAKER_03Yeah. We're sharing a mic, so I'm just looking at him waiting for him to give it to me. Uh yeah, I have thoughts. I was gonna say, I think that's funny because we in our marriage, like we we're always like prefacing before we're about to speak because we're not just gonna be like about something, but like if something's you know, we're dealing with something in our heart, or like there are people, other people walk this planet, we're gonna get hurt by them, and newsflash, we're also gonna hurt other people too. Like we're gonna be some of part of someone else's story of how we hurt them. And so we just gotta realize that that there's so much grace and there's so much just compassion for where people are at. Um, but yeah, I feel like we we always preface and we're like, okay, I don't, I don't want you to think differently about this person. I don't want um, I don't want this to knock their character. I'm not speaking in a way that's like, you know, tearing them down or making you think ill of them. But like, here's what's on my heart, here's what I'm dealing with. And like, I feel like those types of conversations are great in like trusted relationships, but man, have I been in some circles of God over the years. Like, women love to do that. Um, and I'm always telling Noah, like, gosh, I feel like I'm always like, okay, that I would go to a hangout and like th that's not my tribe, like those aren't my people, because I feel like we I feel bad for the person that was talked about. And I feel like this is a real thing, and um, and it's easy to do that, and it's easy, and like you said, yeah, sure, maybe it makes people feel better about themselves because someone else is doing worse or whatever it is. But what I think it actually is deep down is I think it's a cover-up of not being able to go deeper in conversation and in relationship, whether that's you have an insecurity or you feel like you can't go deep and talk about things that are going on in your own life or things that you're dealing with, things that are happening in in your life that maybe you actually need help with, but you're you're not vulnerable enough to do that. And so your cover-up is talking about other people's problems, so you don't have to talk about your own. And I always just like am very aware of that in conversations when I feel like there's a lead gossiper because I feel like they're the ones that are hurting the most. And usually you like want to stay away from those types of people because you're like, I don't want to be on the other side of that gossip train, you know, like that's gonna be me as soon as I walk out the door. And I feel like when you're just when you're secure in yourself and and you know who you are and you understand that, you know, this is especially in the body of Christ, like we're one body, we're one mind, we're we're we're to be unified, we're not to be divided and to be bringing other people down and to be, you know, slandering people's character and stuff like that. And I feel like when you see those gossip circles and take away like what's coming out of their mouth and just see the person and their soul and that they're probably actually hurting and they just can't talk about it, then it makes me want to like completely I don't know what the word is, like divert the conversation and ask just like a straight up hard question to that gossiper and kind of just see where they're at because I feel like usually that's the story is those people are hurting it or those people have undealt with things and they just need a friend.
SPEAKER_00I don't know where I went where I was going with that, but no, I think you're hitting it on the head, um, and it comes down to why, and it comes down to like what are their needs. Um, and a person that has a lot of needs, uh, you always say this, and I love it, is that uh anger is hurts bodyguard. And so there there is some symptoms that you can start to see, and I've noticed in myself that unthankfulness is the first sign of oh, I've got a need there. I need more and I don't and I know the truth, which the truth will set you free. The truth is that I do not need more. I have exactly what I need right here, and I have more than been blessed and so privileged, and I have s a thousand reasons to be thankful. And uh I could really go into the practical of how that affects your career. Um, but I I want to stay in the the spiritual because the practical will work itself out uh if you can get the your your your spirit and the inner man uh in alignment. Um Um the Bible says don't be overcome with evil, but overcome evil with good, and that love covers a multitude of sins. And I think that um get closer to the real thing and everything else will fade away. I love the old hymn the things of earth will grow strangely dim in the light of his glory and his grace. Um it it's it's sort of what are you looking for? Um and you could just ask yourself, and as we close out the podcast, we could just ask the audience and ourselves, like, what do you want? Um if it's it seems that a lot of people want fame and money, which it's like, why? Well, because we want to do stuff. Well, why do we want to do stuff? Uh because we want to have fun. Well, why do we want to have fun? Um, because we want to enjoy life. Well, why do you want to enjoy life? Well, because you were made by God to to be fruitful and multiply and and and and and go into the world and and experience things. And I think that there's a loneliness problem because of that desire and that need to be seen. I I uh people long for fame because they want to be seen. They want to be known. Well, why do they want to be known? Well, because they were created to be known by God and to be seen by Him and to be affirmed in Him and secure and safe. And it's it's crazy 'cause you think the thing that you're going after is what you want, but what you really want is so much closer and so much uh so much more satisfying, and it is right at your fingertips, right here, right now. And you should from that place you now can go and conquer anything. But those are all symptoms, those are all um just on the on the contrary, they're those are those are not the main thing. And so I think that uh they're not bad in themselves, but they definitely were never made to be at center stage. Uh so yeah, I'll ask you that. Like what what do you think that uh you want to do in this season, or what do you think uh is like maybe the last thing you want to say to wrap up the podcast for anybody listening uh that may be trying to figure things out and process life and and and they have lots of needs, lots of wants, uh what would you say to that person?
SPEAKER_03You looked at me like, was that too big of a question? Um yeah, I feel like to dodge the question of what you asked me about me, but what I just felt like I kind of wanted to close on and say, and I feel like is kind of the heart of this whole entire podcast, um, is just what's your motive and questioning your motive, and I think that's a healthy thing to do, whether you're on the mountaintop or whether you're in a really hard season in the valley and struggling. Um and just finding like what the motive is in your heart for those things that you want, those things that you desire, those things that are eating at you, um, maybe they're you know, dreams that you have, or I don't know, just like whatever whatever in the cheesiest way lights your soul on fire. Like question your motive on those things. And some of those things can be good things, like I wanna, you know, I wanna be a mom, or I wanna find a husband or a wife, or I want to be a good steward of what the Lord has for me. Um, I think it's good to just question your motive of why, and that's kind of what Noah was saying. He was peeling it back, like getting down to why do you want to do these things? Well, why, well, why, well, why? And it's because down deep there's a motive, and there's always like a a hidden truth behind things that we say, and I think it's good to just to just know our heart's motives again, because then the enemy doesn't have power over them, and he can't manipulate things, he can't um, yeah, just just have power over those things to make us have jealousy or or bitterness or comparison in hard seasons or even in really good seasons, the enemy can can cover those things in pride or um, you know, the thoughts of like, well, well, I'm here now, I'm better than this person, or and I I think it's just always good to have healthy, clean motives. So I would just ask you, like, why? And and whatever you're thinking right now that's coming to your mind is probably what the Lord is trying to work on. Um and yeah, I feel like that's just that's kind of a good place to start. Write those down and and just pray over those things. And I know you're about to say something else, but I won't I never asked you what you were inspired by because you were asking me, and I said home decor. I want to ask you what yours is. So put that in there too.
SPEAKER_00Yep. Uh I'll get to what I'm inspired by, but I actually here's the thing: I am inspired by everything. I think when God refreshes you inside, from the inside out, everything starts to become more colorful and more beautiful. And nature, birds, the ocean, uh, people, people inspire me. I want to know their story. I want to I love when someone is committed to something and they love it. And not because they they want what comes from the thing, but they just they've dedicated themselves to something, and it could be anything, but I love when they are g are fully in that thing and they know a lot about it, and not from a pride standpoint, because so many times uh I mean, I'm into music, I'm into coffee, I'm into surfing, but people will come to me and they'll act like I am the expert at those things, and I am the farthest thing from expert. And I I don't know if I want to become an expert because I love those things to enjoy them. And you try to nerd out with like spraying the coffee beans with water so they're not magnetic when they go through the grinder, and you want to talk about that stuff, that to me bogs down the beauty of it. And maybe you can do it from a good motive, and it could be exciting, but you can just tell when someone's they're prying at those things. That's the packaging, that's not the substance, that's the thing that's kind of been on my heart lately. But I think the reason why we did this, we're we're talking on this mic right now, is because we have a refresh, refreshed vision for why. Uh, and it is that others out there need to hear the truth, and we know the truth, and we want to share it, and we want to see, I want to see the next generation do well and learn from everything that I've been through, and I just want to help people, and I think that if I could pinpoint some delays of why we done it haven't done it more, it's there's so much noise out there, there's so many and in and a lot of it's good, and maybe it's my view of it. Um there's a millions of podcasts, millions of posts a day, and it's over stimulating, and it's too much for me. And so maybe I I'm the type of person that needs less. Uh I don't need to fill my cup with that. I need to fill it in other areas, and so maybe it's overflowing with the wrong things when I'm uh partaking in content for too long and not engaging. I've noticed that that is I get sick to my stomach when I'm in something, but not uh a uh contributor. And I think that there is something that I want to contribute and that posture comes from uh a place of knowing that even if it's for the one, like Jesus left the 99 for the one, and I get a little discouraged that a lot of faith people that and and I can see some of their points, but when they say that like God's in it if it blows up or it becomes viral, and I just I don't see a lot of that I I I see him do it sometimes, um, but I I just know that he's much more the last will be first, and uh not to despise the day of small things, and I think that I get a little sick of transactional relationships that are based upon a social scale of followers, and um I it it hurts me because there's people on the other side of that, and and again, we all I'm I'm all ears, I'm ready to listen to those people that operate like that, but I would just say in general, I've when you know who you are, you feel that it is one of a kind, and what you have to say is important, and uh yeah, and when you are slow to speak and quick uh to listen, that doesn't mean you don't speak, it just means you speak at the right time and you have something to say that adds value, and that's what I want to be in this life, and that's what I want to inspire others to do, is you know, and God has grace for those that have the different mindset of they just go out and just rip it and just blah blah blah blah blah, like Peter chopping the guy's ears off, like uh he can heal those ears and he can work with that personality type. And so I think it does boil down to what God has placed in in your life and recognizing that, and then in my 30s, I'm realizing that more with having people confirm that hey, you you're you're like this, and I I'm like leaning into that more and not trying to be someone I'm not. Um, I think as a podcaster, like I could feel the pressure to be loud, to be funny, to be all these things, and and and you know, that's it can be me, uh, but I don't need to put on that outfit, I don't need to put on that costume. Yeah, I just need to show up and uh God'll take care of the rest.
SPEAKER_03Totally.
SPEAKER_00So, what's your closing remarks here as we I literally can't it's too many? Yeah, you need your notebook.
SPEAKER_03It's too many. I was getting full paintings and pictures that I was gonna talk about, but it's gonna be a whole nother hour, so I don't want to save it.
SPEAKER_00I I think that like when we prepare to do this, we I I say prepare, our life is the preparation and our car talks, exactly where my mind was headed. We have so much to say, so much to give, and I know that the people listening have that as well. Um so I hope that if this audio finds you somewhere, whatever phase and season of life you're in, you can know that you're seen, you're loved, and you're known, and more people care for you than you realize, and seasons are always changing. Embrace this season that you're in. Do not wish it away. There's something to grab right here, right now, and we have so much more to say. So if this has meant something to you, stick around. We're hoping to put out more in God's timing.
SPEAKER_03So totally.
SPEAKER_00Okay, we'll we'll catch you guys next time. Have an amazing week. God bless.
SPEAKER_03See you later.