When life serves you a high-speed chase of responsibilities, how do you dodge the obstacles and sprint toward success? Join us as my guest Kaz and I share the field, discussing the parallels of pushing boundaries in both football and nonprofit leadership. We tackle how the game's physicality and the boardroom's strategy play pivotal roles in shaping our approach to teamwork and personal growth. From the bustling streets of New York to the pressures within law enforcement leagues, we expose the raw realities of favoritism, systemic challenges, and the leadership burdens that can weigh heavily on and off the field.
Have you ever wondered what it takes to keep your head in the game while juggling the game's administrative side? We open up about our strategies for managing it all, with personal anecdotes about stepping into roles that go beyond the playbook—like handling travel logistics to ensure that our team stays focused on victory. Hear how we navigate the integration of new talent and the importance of delegation, which is crucial in maintaining a balance between our passion for football and the necessary evils of administrative duties. Moreover, we don’t shy away from discussing the physical toll of sports, from grappling with injuries in jiu-jitsu to the silent battles with conditions like AFib and hemochromatosis.
Lastly, we delve into the art of self-care and the struggle to find serenity in a world brimming with digital distractions. Kaz and I explore the impact of our choices on well-being and the journey towards mindfulness, whether that means turning off the smartphone to enjoy a meal in peace or swapping out the chaotic beats for the soothing sound of silence. Our conversation is a candid reflection on the importance of proactive health management, embracing simplicity, and fostering genuine connections in an age of digital ecosystems. Tune in for an episode that promises to resonate with those looking to find balance and presence amidst life's demanding playbook.
When life serves you a high-speed chase of responsibilities, how do you dodge the obstacles and sprint toward success? Join us as my guest Kaz and I share the field, discussing the parallels of pushing boundaries in both football and nonprofit leadership. We tackle how the game's physicality and the boardroom's strategy play pivotal roles in shaping our approach to teamwork and personal growth. From the bustling streets of New York to the pressures within law enforcement leagues, we expose the raw realities of favoritism, systemic challenges, and the leadership burdens that can weigh heavily on and off the field.
Have you ever wondered what it takes to keep your head in the game while juggling the game's administrative side? We open up about our strategies for managing it all, with personal anecdotes about stepping into roles that go beyond the playbook—like handling travel logistics to ensure that our team stays focused on victory. Hear how we navigate the integration of new talent and the importance of delegation, which is crucial in maintaining a balance between our passion for football and the necessary evils of administrative duties. Moreover, we don’t shy away from discussing the physical toll of sports, from grappling with injuries in jiu-jitsu to the silent battles with conditions like AFib and hemochromatosis.
Lastly, we delve into the art of self-care and the struggle to find serenity in a world brimming with digital distractions. Kaz and I explore the impact of our choices on well-being and the journey towards mindfulness, whether that means turning off the smartphone to enjoy a meal in peace or swapping out the chaotic beats for the soothing sound of silence. Our conversation is a candid reflection on the importance of proactive health management, embracing simplicity, and fostering genuine connections in an age of digital ecosystems. Tune in for an episode that promises to resonate with those looking to find balance and presence amidst life's demanding playbook.
Yeah, People's is out in California now.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, you know he a good guy. I don't talk about anybody's business, but he got the role into the stick and you know Well, he has a lot of people in government type jobs though.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, they go into it with good intentions and I could be wrong. I've never been in one. But from the people that I've seen, they go in with good intentions and, unfortunately, either favoritism or just old dudes at the top that don't want to see other people succeed in their own way, or they either keep them suppressed. Truthfully, that's like Apple. Apple was great at promising the world when I worked there. Promising the world and then just keeping people very content with being in their position and staying in their position. Control, yeah, control. And you know it's oh yeah, yeah, you'll get to corporate, you'll get. Oh yeah, we'll get you out to Cupertino, you'll get to corporate. Ok, when Is there a timeline? Or am I just going to keep slaving away at the fucking corporate at the retail store with hopes and aspirations of getting to corporate, and then I'm the manager that's 15 years into his career going?
Speaker 2:I guess I'm here forever Like they just forgot about me, and some people get into that point where they get stuck and they don't want to make a move. See, he wasn't like that, because once he's like, all right, I'll go do something else. I always respected him for that. But, yeah, good dude, so that was about six years ago. Man, it's been a minute. Yeah, that was the first, because I'm going to tell you right now, our first video we did was you did the promo shoot for our I think it was. Might have been FDNY. Yeah, ball game at Aviator.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:I talked about shooting videos with you guys. I always felt bad because most of the games I was at, y'all lost. I was like, fuck, I want to get some cool shit. Everybody's all down and depressed.
Speaker 2:Yeah, man, yo, I don't even. Yeah, we just get into a shitty thing when we get to the New York teams. Man, out of state teams, we handle most of the out of state teams, so we have no issues with out of state teams. Slight work, yeah, we come into. I think the last out of state team we lost to was probably San Diego in 2018. That was the last out of state team we lost to. But I mean, we get to our New York schedule and I don't know.
Speaker 1:The gamble. Yeah, I was there for PD. Yeah, pd was. That was a tough game. I feel like you guys had a little rally going, but then it just started.
Speaker 2:The one at Columbia, yep, that was the one with Travran back to kick a halftime. We were in it. And then it is with those games, especially PD, right, pd, they have numbers, they have we roll into games with 40 guys, and how many of that 40 is healthy.
Speaker 2:Healthy. I mean, the 40 are actually true football players. We got guys and that's why you love the league that we're in, because it doesn't matter if you ever play football or not. If you want to come out, be a part of the team, you come out and be a part of the team. Teams like PD. They have tryouts. We don't have tryouts. We have hey, nick, you want to come down and play? Yeah, ok, yeah, cool, does your team do this? That does that. Those guys get tryouts. They get hundreds of guys at their tryouts. I mean they're bigger department than we are Learning. That saves us is we're scrappy man. We're just a scrappy bunch. Yeah, we're scrappy. Yeah, fd.
Speaker 2:We've gone back and forth with FD for a few years. They've had our numbers the last couple of years, I'm going to say because they took some of our good players, like they have our old quarterback. A couple of our star players are over there right now. Good for those guys. They beat PD the last maybe four or five years in a row. Are PD still at the top? Yeah, I mean FD, pd, they're the cream of the crop of the league. I mean New York is really where it's at. And then you got the team up north and Westchester the shields, so you got four good, solid teams in New York, right.
Speaker 2:But I don't know, man, we just hit the New York schedule and physical games. We get injuries. A lot of guys bow out. I mean, at the end of the day, you're playing football for fun. You still got a career to go do, right. That's why we're here, right, we're all law enforcement officers, so that always gets to us. But yeah, so this is my first year with Trav as the vice president, so I did a lot of stuff, had to take a lot of stuff off his plate. I mean, trav's a good dude. It's just too much for one person to handle. I mean, even looking back at it now, I don't know how Chamberlain did it, chris. Before Trav took over, chamberlain was the president. I don't know how he did it and I know he did a majority of it by himself. It's crazy, man. It's a lot, a lot entailed man.
Speaker 1:Well, it burns you out. That's the problem. You know, the more that I dive into the thought process of just being not minimalistic but just being more present and doing what you need to do to get done, to get back to life. That's really kind of what I've, the thought process that I've been living on now as of late. When you do stuff like that, it's very difficult to separate yourself because there is just far too much to do in a single day and you don't have enough hours If you're going to get all your regular work done, that you need to sustain you and everything else you got going on and then to be able to go to the gym and stay healthy and eat right and do everything. And oh wait, now here's my, my obligation that I signed up for to basically help the team out and do as much as I can and take it off Travis. But it's not, it's nonstop man, yeah, nonstop.
Speaker 2:And I tell them this all the time. Like you know, I tell the lady this all the time, like yo man, it's, it's, it's to a point where I'm burnt out sometimes.
Speaker 1:Oh, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2:And you know, and then, just like you said, that's the hardest part. Then I got to do all that stuff and then I still have to make sure I train, which you know that's suffered a lot with, with work and the new gig and and you know just life, but just trying to maintain my training schedule to still be able to play at my friggin age Because I, I think I'm, I don't, I'm not going to see, I'm the oldest player, I think there's maybe one or two guys older than me on the team, but you know it's a lot that goes into it and you know, at the end of the day it's, it's, it's a nonprofit, you know organization, so it's, you know we're kind of what we bring in helps us do what we have to do, to pretty much go give it to our charity. You know what I'm saying. So, but it's a lot. I, you know I wanted to do it because you know travel was, it was getting to him last season.
Speaker 2:I said, girl, you know, let me help. I think I facilitated helping with the indoor facility. And then once we went to that Travis, like you know, kaz, listen, like I could use your help. So I was like, yeah, man, I hope, and then. So this year I did the schedule, I did the fields, I took a lot off his plate. It's actually running smooth now. You know this is this is year. I think this is his third year, second year, third year doing it. So we're running a little smoother. Now Dexter is the other vice president Shout out.
Speaker 2:Dex. Yeah, yeah, he's not playing this season. This is his first season not playing, so he's jumped in and took on a lot of the roles. Like you know, we used to kill us as game day, and I go back to last season. Like game day, stuff falls apart. Now you got me and Trav in full uniform and we should be on the field getting ready for a football game Focusing on the actual game.
Speaker 2:We're doing the admin stuff, so hopefully Dex comes through and we got a couple of the guys that aren't playing this year that should help in that role, just to help us, you know, be football players on those days Right and so it's tough when you have to juggle that the corporate responsibility of the side of things, yeah.
Speaker 1:I mean you want to be in the mode of you know we were talking a little bit before you got you know before we started and cut the mics on about just my workload and stuff like that. When you are hired to do video and photo work, plus maybe obviously the editing, you know if it's the same day or whatever it might be, but the second you start having to do extra shit, there's only so much you could do before everything starts falling apart. Everything and the original thing that you were hired to do or that you needed to do, which for you would be play football and play efficiently, safely, intensely and win, you can't focus on now and then it falls apart.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I mean, but it's a domino effect, right? Because now you think about we're supposed to be ready to get ready for a game, but yet something, somebody didn't show up or this happened. So now I step off the field, or me and Traffs step up the field to help address that problem. But now the team is warming up without us. You know, I'm one of the captains. I've been a captain almost, I think, eight, nine years. So now I'm out of my leadership role, right. And then now I'm out of getting in sync with my offense, with my quarterback. So now, instead of warming up, throwing the ball in my quarterback and running through the offense, now the second guy that's behind me, he's in, which that's fine, because anything could happen at any time. But what happens when I go back and I'm not warmed up? We, our chemistry is off. You know stuff like that. So hopefully you know everything's learning man, right? So last year we learned that it didn't work the way we did it. This year we have a different approach. I mean, and who knows, we opened up next Friday night against Chicago PD. We got Chicago PD coming in. Maybe something new will come up that we like. All right, you know what we did, a, b and C different this year. We did that differently from last year. But you know what? Now? E and F, that's something new. Now, you know, going to the next one. Now we know we have to, you know, control E and F, right, you know. So it's always evolving.
Speaker 2:You know, and I rely heavily on, like the old guys, like I call a chain bowl. All the time I get a lot of knowledge from the NYPD coaches, the FD coaches, their presidents. You know, you know how they did things, how they do things. You know separately of course, because they, you know they always. I know that that's just a rivalry, that's, I think that's going to go to the end of time, but you know so. So we're in a good spot. I mean, we open up next weekend and I'll be happy to get the ball rolling, all the hard work we've done so far, and then the only thing left to do is just put it on the field and hopefully, you know, the team comes through, the guys come through. We got some new young players, which was good for us because, you know, in the Crescent department we don't get that many classes compared to like PD and FD and Y and stuff like that. So they're getting like hundreds of kids and hundreds of officers and firefighters. We're getting 25, 30.
Speaker 1:And some dudes that were probably playing at a high level potentially could have went to college and done it at a high level, and they just decided to stick with being a police officer or a firefighter. And now they're able to. Oh shit, I can still play.
Speaker 2:Yeah, do my thing and they do that. I think PD. Pd has a couple guys that played played pro. I'm not sure if FD does, I wouldn't be surprised. They have a couple guys that played pro also, but you know they, just like I said, they're getting 50 to 100 new recruits. We're getting 25.
Speaker 2:You know our job is it's a crappy job. You know it's a hard job. You know who wants to say they want to go sit inside a jail cell for eight to 16 hours a day. You know you know four days a week. You know sometimes five days a week, depending on if they cancel your day off. Then on top of that now you want to come play football on your own dime, on your own time, like it gets to be a lot. So you know those are.
Speaker 2:Those are the issues that we deal with, that you know most of those other teams don't have to deal with the team up North Tri-State. They're probably the closest one to that with us as far as their numbers. But they have a different pool of players to pick from because you know they can get guys from Westchester, connecticut. You know some guys from the city that don't want to drive to wherever PD practices. They live in Westchester so they have a different pool. But as far as being as close to us, like they're the only team because PD and FD, like I said, you know they're getting, you know I mean they hold tryouts right.
Speaker 2:Like I'm pretty sure they got about 200, 300 guys at the tryout. Like I think I'd pass out if I saw 200 guys. I got them. Yeah yeah, I think the most, I think the most we had was probably that first year you started film with us. I think our roster was probably in the high 60s. That was our roster, I mean, because we had, I mean it was a solid team, it was a team. Yeah yeah, you know, we just you know, you know, just you know some things flow through the cracks.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it happens, and you know, especially in Juryus. I mean, you've been playing for how many years now.
Speaker 2:Just in general sport, wise Sport, oh man Probably playing football or sports longer than most people have been alive.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you know now think about that in terms of just being able to stay healthy and your body don't work the same that it always did and not that it's always a negative, but you have to adapt and you got to change things up.
Speaker 2:That's, that's, that's the hardest thing, you know, and it's funny, and I'm I'm sure you've heard this too. That's the funny thing, as you know, growing up, you know, when we were younger, you know you hear all the guys, oh, man, you know, and I'm like, nah, man, it'll be good. And then, like you know, you wake up one day like, ah, I just got out of bed, my back hurts, you know stuff like that. But you know, I try to tell a lot of the younger guys, like you know, start taking care of your body now, man. Like you know, all this wear and tear you're putting on it now, like, even though you may think you don't need it, like you know, start taking care of it because in the long run, like it's going to benefit you. Like, all the stuff I do now, man, if I was doing it, if I would have listened to some of the old timers that were in the gym that you know were in karate with me, guys I used to bounce with if I would have listened to those guys back then, instead of being the typical young yeah, I'm young, I got great genetics, yeah, I'm good, I'm good If I would have started doing it, then I'd probably be in an even better position than I am now, right, so, and I mean I do everything still, dude, I mean I'm still hot yoga, stretching.
Speaker 2:You know, I'm still doing the Thai. I don't do it as much. There's a lot of stuff on the plate. But you know, even even still doing the Thai, I remember I went back to the dojo. My old crew opened up his own place in Bethpage and I went yeah, shout out to Rodney Bethpage Kickboxing Academy. I went and young guy, young fighter, and I get on the mat. You know he's like howdy. I'm like, uh, what are you?
Speaker 1:he's like, he's like, you're 43.
Speaker 2:I'm 44 now he's like you're 43. I'm like, yeah, he's like man, black, don't crack. He's like you look good for what you do. I'm like all right, cool, I guess that's my first one, you know. He started getting like oh, you look good for that age and I'm like I remember I used to say that to people like you know, I mean, dude, listen, you know, I'm always with Jamal, obviously.
Speaker 1:You know, jay, dude, fucking think about, you know, both of you guys, jay, still performing at high levels. And listen, you're not old buying stretch of the measure, obviously in our mindset. Sometimes you have to correct yourself when we constantly think that because me, at 32, I start going, oh, and you know, my boys will start digging at me like I think you're getting up there and this and that, because I'll tell them like yo man, I'm fucking sore, I'm hurting and this and that, oh, you're getting up there. But then you also have to think about it from the other side.
Speaker 1:It's like, well, how many 32 year olds, and especially in your position as well, how many 44 year olds, are doing what you're doing on a daily basis? The amount of activity, the amount of recovery that you're putting into all these things. I mean technically, with me rolling five days a week and on top of it doing a one hour hit session of weights and cardio almost every single morning, I probably should be sore Like I can. There's a reason why I'm. If I was waking up and I wasn't doing anything and my body was hurting, I'd be like, oh, okay, oh, that's that, that's coming, that's coming though.
Speaker 2:I know it's coming.
Speaker 1:I know it's coming because I feel I feel how beat up I get with just like the little things and it really does take a toll Like I wake up. Kenji Ben, he's a dick man. I love him. He's a dick. Every morning at six, three in the morning he starts waking me up. He's ready to go, he's ready to go. And it's cool because I was waking up at five AM for a while. So I was beating him up when I was waking up at four, 45, five AM. But now, because of just my gym schedule changed and just in general, I've been going to the gym, maybe six, 15, if I do, or the 845 class, which is what I did today. First off, I was supposed to get a haircut and a beard trim and everything like that. Your man's looking great. For me, this is grisly.
Speaker 2:This is the older Nick. This is what. Yeah, it's looking crazy. I like it, though. I like it, yeah, it's looking crazy.
Speaker 1:But so Kenji will just like start circling my bed back and forth and start sneezing and making all kinds of noises. Make sure you just like. After a while I'm just like Okay, dude, what? Like? I'm up and I'll especially if I did jiu-jitsu the night before I'll swing those feet over and I'll do even my elbows. My elbows don't stop making noises. Now I'll swing my feet over and I'll go. Yeah, that hurts. I'm feeling it like kid. Young kid must be like 18 years old.
Speaker 1:He need me right in the quad. Two nights ago, bro, I told him yesterday night. I said, dude, you gave me the worst dead leg I've had in years. Not still in my leg, not, it's hard to run, it's hard to stretch. I was like, god damn man, I'm just getting my ass kicked all day. But what would it be like if we didn't work out like this? That's the crazy thing. How would your body degrade at what percentage quicker if you weren't doing all of this activity? Because motion is medicine, I mean. You know what I'm saying. Like that, by staying active, I mean listen, when it comes down to it, obviously, having someone rip your knee in half at jiu-jitsu, that's a different you know, but rolling responsibly, keeping active consistently with rehabilitation, stretching all the different modalities that you work in in a weekly basis.
Speaker 1:Think about all the people that are in our both age brackets that don't do that. Not only do they look like shit, but they have a slew of health problems. So I guess I'd rather keep waking up with my elbows continually cracking and all this stuff than look at some of the other look like some of the other people I know in my age group.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I mean, it's definitely a difference, and I'll even yell at you like you know, what are you doing for your recovery, isin, or you know?
Speaker 1:when I spray my ankle, nick, and you could tell him this when you go there later. Dr Scott, dr Nick shout out yeah.
Speaker 1:But you can go tell him and he'll laugh. I didn't even get to tell you how the ankle injury happened. So we were, because it goes into recovery. So we were playing King of the Hill. And when we're playing King of the Hill, matt Sarah brings me out. He goes. All right, rizzles, you're out this and that he goes. All right, everybody, watch out for Nick, he's not your average white belt. I said oh man, it's 730 in the morning. Don't say that I go.
Speaker 2:I'm tired. That's the antennas up, yeah.
Speaker 1:Everybody's like oh Matt, I was like no dude, it's not that serious, so maybe cool. So the first dude comes out white belt, older guy, you can tell he's super new. I mean he's going way too hard and I'm telling him my bro, slow down, like relax, it's okay, just chill. I tell people, I talk to people now, I'm that guy when I go relax you're going to get, just breathe.
Speaker 1:You're gassing yourself out. I could sit here all day. I'm chilling. So he's going a little crazy. I sweep him.
Speaker 1:Fine, blue belt comes off the wall and the goal for those that don't know is, if you're down for King of the Hill, that means you start on your back laying down. The person that's coming off the wall has to pass your guard or they have to submit you. My goal is to either sweep them, which means I sweep them off of their position, of being in front of me, into a more dominant position, whether I go to mount or side control. Whatever I sweep them, I submit them or I back out, wrestler style, like the Gracie get up type, where you put one arm out and you're able to get out and you're clear. So the blue belt comes off the wall. We're going back and forth a little bit. I almost sweep him and then I kind of like, just buck him a little bit and I back out.
Speaker 1:Fine, now the white belt comes off the wall and it's a kid that is an ex wrestler. Very nice kid, very nice kid. I have to, like you know, preface that and basically what happened was I said to him when he came over me. I said Yo bro, don't hurt me. I said let's relax, let's just chill. He's just like oh, you know joking around whatever, I'm not joking, just relax. So we're going back and forth and when we go he's a little bit younger than me. He's very strong for his size, but he feels that I'm strong too. So he tries to like match and I'm like Yo bro, like just chill, chill.
Speaker 1:He stands up. I almost dummy, sweep him both legs out from underneath them and he takes one foot and puts it behind behind so I can't grab the other ankle, whatever. So my legs are still wrapped around him. He's standing and I do like a little. It's called like a deli heave hook where I come around the side and I might have. I come around the outside of his leg and my foot, my right leg, pushes his other leg out to get him away from me and as I did that, it creates some space. I take his shoulder, I push him a little bit and I backed out.
Speaker 1:Done, nope, he re grabs me while we're standing and I look at him. I go what the fuck are you doing, bro? And now he goes to put his left leg around my right leg to do a takedown and throw me to the side. So I grab him again, I toss him to the side. I'm like bro, the rounds over, what are you doing? And he rips me straight down. Now this is all happened in the matter of like seconds. It wasn't like I said that to him. He paused and then he did it. It was like it was he was still going. So I'm like, what the fuck are you doing, bro? And he ripped me straight down. And when he ripped me straight down, I based out with that right foot that he had around his left leg around. And then all of a sudden, all of our weight just went on the ankle and my whole ankle just went underneath, both of us like this, and all you heard was crack.
Speaker 1:And I said yo, get off of me. I'm like what is wrong with you, bro. I push him off. Sarah's like yo is everything cool. I go, I don't know yet.
Speaker 1:Big toe went numb instantly like shot to the big toe. And then I I didn't see the ankle yet. So my thought process was, with how loud and how hard that snap felt, I'm like, oh, the bones got to be sticking through the, through the, through the skin. Right now this over, like this is, this is a. This is a not career ending for Jiu Jitsu, but this is in a month, month out type of a rehab. And I looked at the ankle no bruising, no swelling. I was like okay, and I stood up and it felt, it just felt off. I sat back down, called up Scott and Nick went to their office. They bladed it, they did everything that they had, they stretched it out a little bit and they said probably have grade two sprains, so a slight tear. You know this and that just stay off it.
Speaker 1:I stayed off for about a week and a half and then I started going back and I started going back and putting the brace on it and work, getting some reps in. Couldn't do any impact at the gym, yet like running, but I was doing all the weights and doing all that stuff and then you know, just intermittently I would get the fucking dudes that I'm like yo, my ankle is is beaten up and I'd be like Joe, just you know, chill on the ankle and they'd start grabbing. I'm like Joe, bro, I just said chill on the fucking ankle. There was a dude I'm gonna keep this very brief because he doesn't even deserve the air time. I'm not even gonna say his name because I don't fucking like him. He's a black belt at Sarah's, don't fucking like him. I did not like how he handled this. One of the dudes called him over to roll with me and this is like four and a half weeks, five weeks since the injury. I'm feeling good, still hurts, don't gonna be wrong, still hurts. I can't really push off of it. But it's good. It's good enough to roll lightly and just figure things out. But if my foot gets caught in a weird position, I like take it out or I tap real quick, I just go. I don't even wanna have my ankle in that type of predicament.
Speaker 1:So the dude that's instructing the class at the time he was like yo, nicky, who you rolling with, who you rolling with? I go, I roll with the guys that I trusted during class. I said, right now, I said I'm just chilling, it was odd number. I said now everyone's got a partner that I'm sitting out for the last two rolls a night. I said I'm letting everybody. No, no, no, I'll get somebody from the other side of the room. I go yo, it's cool.
Speaker 1:I do the mixed class and the comp class all the time. I roll with higher belts all the time I go and I still gotta watch my ankle. He's like oh, no, no, no, call this dude over. Dude walks over terminator face the entire time, like just straight terminator. And I'm looking at him and I just go, man, this is just like not the roll that I need right now. I know how this is gonna go.
Speaker 1:And the dude comes over and the guy that's instructing the class, he's like. He's like, oh, nicky, this is so insubblable. And I'm just like, hey, man, you know, and he didn't say anything to me. I'm just like, okay, so he goes. I said, yo, I really have to watch my ankle. Like that is like the most important thing to me, because I do not wanna be out from the regular gym any longer than I have to be to. Obviously, I wanna get back to this, but I really wanna get back to the gym. So the dude he, johnny is the guy that was instructing the class. He's amazing. I love Johnny. So Johnny starts going. Oh, you gotta watch out for Nick. He's really strong in this. Now I go, john, don't say that I was like you're putting things in people's heads and ten is go up.
Speaker 1:We don't need to tell people these things. Like I'm not going 100%. I'm just gonna be feeling him out this and that, and the dude, we lock up a half guard and I look at the guy and I just go, hey, man, I said I don't think I've had the pleasure of rolling with you. My name is Nick and he just stared at me, just looked at me. I'm just going okay, yeah, see what happens?
Speaker 2:It'll be a dog fight, it's gonna be.
Speaker 1:I'm like so either I'm re-injuring this ankle or I'm not. He's gonna re-injure my ankle, or I have to, like risk injuring it to make sure that I don't get hurt further. So that's what this is gonna be. I already said 50 times I don't wanna roll, but it doesn't seem like anybody is listening, so I guess I have to actually, you know, buck up a little bit. So round starts, dude is going ham. And now, listen, I've rolled with plenty of upper belts.
Speaker 1:It's not that I'm amazing at jujitsu. I just I have an understanding now, from almost a year in, of just what I can and can't do and what I'm watching for. He's trying to rip moves. I turtle up, I get out of one of his moves, I turtle up and he starts bouncing me on that ankle. So now I pivot and I throw a knee into him and I grab the back of his head and I like push him into, like my knee shield, and I go all right, if you're gonna be a fucking dick, I'm gonna be a dick right back to you now. Then he starts doing like the hand over the face type shit. So I'm like pushing his hand out the way. I'm like oh, don't do that shit Like we're now. We're both getting irritated now. He thought this was gonna be easy and I'm not making it easy now. So I'm like, okay, so if we're gonna do this, we're gonna do this. Right? So we're going back and forth, back and forth, tries to rip a Kimura without letting me tap. I grab my own gi like this, and I'm just like you're not getting the arm out Like I'm. It's cool, man, we're good, you're not getting the arm. So you can try as much as you want. I got the Kung Fu grip, the dead finger grip. Don't worry about it, I can sit here all night. So he lets go whatever. Now we're going back and forth again and he goes. Now it's towards the end of the round and he goes. Johnny, how much time do I have? Like what is this? 80 CC finals. Relax, bro, it's not that serious.
Speaker 1:Dude, you are rolling with an injured three stripe white belt, you are a black belt, and Johnny goes oh, 30 seconds or 20 seconds, whatever was left. Now dude goes to rip an arm bar and I held him off for a while, but there's only so long you can hold somebody off like that. You start getting fatigued and shit like that. So my arm starts slipping out and I go yo, bro, you need to chill. And he rips it a little further. I go yo, chill, I'm not playing with you. And then he really rips it and I go yo, you're not fucking listening. I said chill, the fuck out.
Speaker 1:And I stood up and he's like oh, what's wrong? And he's like I'm just rolling. I go no, you're not, I go, you're being a fucking asshole. I said I told you my watch my ankle. You're bouncing me on my ankle. I don't know what this is. I was like but that's bullshit. Johnny was like oh, what's wrong, nick, I said I'll tell you what's wrong. I said your boy's a fucking dick. That's the problem. I was like he's being an asshole and he tried to injure me. Walk away. You know everyone's trying to come to console me and talk to me. I was just like nah, I'm going home, I'm fucking done. I was so mad, I was so angry. Luckily, no issues with the ankle, this and that. Then the next day I come there and from what I understood, from what I was told, there was a misunderstanding. He thought he was coming over to tune me up.
Speaker 1:Yeah tune me up right, Three stripe white belt injured. Tune me up, Okay, yeah, I'll see you as I rank this belt up. I'll see you on the other side of the room. Trust me, man, I don't like that shit. I told Jay and I told Jay about him because I saw Jay was following him. And Jay said why'd men used to have to tune this dude up? Because he was a fucking dick over there. Okay.
Speaker 1:So I said oh, how interesting how it just the person that is the dick, it seems to be trying to dish out the discipline.
Speaker 2:And oh really, yeah, trying to make it come around full circle.
Speaker 1:And man, dude, I was so mad. It took me a couple of days of going there before the chip got off my shoulder and I calmed down again. But I was there, I had my guard up and a couple of people that know this dude. They were like oh, nicky, don't. I said no, no, no. I said you know, if he even tries to like say anything to me apologies, anything like that he's gonna be just wasting his breath because I don't want to hear it. If that's how you are as a person, when you're supposed to be controlled and chill, if that's how you are, you're gonna try to injure a lower belt that's already injured. I got no respect, especially as a black belt.
Speaker 2:I got no respect for you, bro. Well, you already see the mentality. So now the ankle's messed up. Now you go see Scott and Nick.
Speaker 1:So I go, well, yeah, so I go see Scott, I go see Scott and Nick. And then every time I see Nick, he's just like hey, man, you ice it. I go, no, no, I said, well, does it count? In the first time that you worked on it, that was ice right. I did an ice plunge, that counts right Once. So, yeah, he yells at me all the time because he's like yo, you need to be doing the ankle exercises and this, and that I'm the worst man. Yeah, I really am. I must be Wolverine, because the way I bounce back from these injuries my whole life, I mean I could. I probably tore something on my shoulder years and years and years ago I was doing shoulders for the second time of the day and.
Speaker 1:I was doing through the dumbbells up. We're doing 90 pound dumbbells. I was military pressing, military pressing. All of a sudden my left shoulder locked and it went all the way back with the dumbbell, the 90 pound. And I just remember I didn't wanna drop it on my buddy who wasn't watching and I just pulled my arm back and all you heard was ripping in there healed up in like a month. It was crazy. But all these injuries I've always had, they just get clear up quick.
Speaker 2:So you know that runs out eventually. Oh yeah, oh, I'm sure I mean I could. I could go Wolverine too. Yeah, I mean I could. I mean both torn pecs, friggin torn rotator cuff. Did you tear the pecs?
Speaker 1:Was it benching or no?
Speaker 2:fucking football, yeah, football Pushing off? No. So 2016, and then this could go into the whole AFIP thing. So 2016,. We're practicing in a gym. I'm running a route in a gym because you know we didn't have really good places to practice at. So the Queens yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So I'm running, I collided with one of my teammates and it lifts me up off my feet Like I'm airborne, and when I land, so it was my. When I land, I land on the floor, arm fully extended like that, oh, like this. Yeah, I hit the ground, boom. So two things happen I hit the ground and all I remember to this day, when I hit the ground, I felt like my heart exploded, like I'm like yo, my like like, this shit is serious. I get up and I'm like oh, fuck. So I already knew what it is, you know. I'm like yeah, I did something to my peck. So I get up, I go to the sideline.
Speaker 2:One of the guys on the team. He had tore his peck like a year, year or two before, and you know he was like oh, you know what are you doing? What does this feel like? He was like yeah, he's like, listen, he's like the true tale is gonna be. You go home later on that night. Yeah, he's like, if it's black and blue, he's like you definitely tore it right. So I'm like all right, cool. So, girlfriend, at the time I caught her up I say, listen, probably gonna have to go to the ER. I think I tore my peck. Luckily two things happened right. Luckily I did that and didn't go home like the normal, typical man would do.
Speaker 2:He's like yeah, you know I'm just gonna rub some dirt on it. I was gonna go home, you know. So I didn't go to my apartment, I went to her apartment. So in the timeframe of getting from practice to her apartment I changed my mind. You know what? I'm gonna see the ortho tomorrow. Anyway, I'm just gonna hold it down. Pour me a drink, let me take some Advil. I'll go to sleep, right. So pour a drink, takes my Advil.
Speaker 2:Probably about 2.30 in the morning I wake up to pee. I'm in the bathroom. All I remember is looking in the mirror. Oh shit, it's black and blue. Bad. Next thing I know I'm waking up on the floor. She's screaming what happened? What's wrong?
Speaker 2:Waking up, I'm like how the hell did I get on the floor, passed right out, right when you saw the actual black and blue? Yeah, I don't know what happened, I passed right out. So get up. And again, the typical male spirit of what you wanna call we have. That makes us stupid at times. Elisabeth, I'm like we're going to the hospital. I'm like nah, I'm fine. She's like I just found you passed out on the floor. You hit the ground so hard it shook the house. Did you hit your head at all. No, couldn't believe. And it was a tight bathroom, couldn't believe I didn't hit my head on the radiator, I just went straight down. So, lucky for me, that was two things. So it convinced me.
Speaker 2:We go to the hospital, right? So this is 2016,. Go to the hospital. They hooked me up to whatever all the machines. And I remember the nurse goes to me. She goes are you feeling all right? And I'm like, yeah, I'm outside. I think I tore my pack, like yeah, I'm fine. She's like you're an aphid man. I'm like what the hell? Oh, is that why you passed out? Yeah, the lack of yeah, crazy, crazy. So now two things happen. Right, glad I didn't go home, because if I was home I would have been by myself. That probably we wouldn't be sitting here talking right now. That's one possibility, right. So now, never heard of this stuff. Right, I'm a healthy guy. I've been through my entire life, you know, I've had my little nicks and injuries, right. So girlfriend starts hysterical crying.
Speaker 2:She's like oh my God, I'm like what the hell's going on. Yeah. So now they explain it to me. So now I'm like, oh shit. I'm like, okay, I'm like that's different. So they're like well, these are the options. Sounds it's a common thing, man, but it sounds so scary when you don't know what it is. Yeah, so we're gonna. You know eventually what's gonna happen. You're gonna get put under.
Speaker 1:we're gonna shock you back into rhythm, and then you get the rhythm back into it. You get to get your regular signage rhythm.
Speaker 2:I'm like, okay, cool, or whatever. So I hadn't eaten anything. So now you know, family's coming in cause now I'm in the hospital and this is Kaz is in the hospital, so I come. I remember my mom gets there and she asked me if I'm hungry and I'm like, oh, not really. So I have like a little. It's as bitsy as a piece of a bagel, so I eat that. I pass back out. So now, this is, practice is always on Thursday night. So we're talking about it's early Friday morning, probably like maybe five, five o'clock in the morning, Going into a holiday weekend. So anesthesiologists, everybody starts coming to see me. Cause now it's like all right, we're gonna do blood work, we're gonna do all this stuff. What's your history? Bye-bye, when's the last time you ate? Oh, I had a little piece of a bag. Oh, that's it. We can't do anything. Yeah, we can't do anything. Yeah, you're going to have to wait.
Speaker 1:So now, I mean, from what I understand, it's the nausea from the anesthesia. Fuck it, make me nauseous.
Speaker 2:I don't understand. Yeah, like, oh, you're going to pick my heart or something or whatever. So that turned into staying in the hospital to get the procedure done to that Tuesday. Oh, so now, so now. So now I'm in the hospital, right? So now I'm in the hospital, luckily.
Speaker 1:Four days on top of it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, on a holiday weekend. I want to say it was probably the first one that comes up Labor Day or Memorial Day, right, dude, I always fucked up. No, memorial Day, Memorial Day, memorial Day yeah, I think Labor Day is later on. You're about to ask Google. So, yeah, google knows everything. So, finally. So now I'm sitting in there, so now the process is all right. I'm going to get this procedure done on Tuesday, right, when all the doctors and everybody's back from there.
Speaker 1:Yeah, everyone's been there. Everyone's been there. Yeah, they've been partying right.
Speaker 2:So hungover and shit, yeah, that's great.
Speaker 2:Now in the interim, I'm sitting there and this is a funny story and this is why I like playing in the league that we play in, because you get cops, firefighters, corrections, emts, everybody right. So I'm in this hotel room, I'm in this hotel, I'm in this hospital room and everybody's just worried about my heart and I'm sitting there. I'm like all right, yeah, I'm in AFib. We know where in AFib. I'm in AFib, my peck. I tore my peck. Like can we get this fixed? Give me something for this pain, give me whatever you can give me, give me Like so, right away, because of the AFib, they throw me on the blood thinners, they throw me on the beta blockers, all the heart stuff you're supposed to have. So I'm like yeah, that's cool. I'm like but I'm in pain, like this shit hurts.
Speaker 2:So finally one of the nurses comes up and she's the head nurse for the floor. So she comes up and we start talking. So she's like oh, how did you do this? So I'm like I'm like I was at football practice last night. I tore it.
Speaker 2:She's like oh well, who do you play for? And I'm like oh, I play for the correction team. You know the semi-pro league. She's like so she chuckles and I'm like I'm like, oh, okay, she's like, yeah, my husband's the defensive coordinator for FDNY. And so I start laughing. I'm like I go, I go like this, I go to her, I go um, I didn't know his name at the time. I said I said tell him number nine. I was like, tell him number nine is here. So she goes, she comes out, she comes back, she goes, he says he hopes everything gets better, he can get well soon and you better be on the field for such and such date when we play them. So now had her in my corner. So now she actually gets a doctor, I get the ortho, I get all these people, isn't?
Speaker 1:that crazy how you just need somebody to advocate for you. Oh, just say a word. You're trying to advocate for yourself. They don't listen to you. But the second you have one person in the hospital that's on your side. The sudden shit just gets done.
Speaker 2:Everything is done. So now, now everybody comes in, now they start giving me some, some stuff, some pain stuff for the, for the pack, whatever, so fast forward, I get the procedure done. Boom, they shock me and out of rhythm Again. That what you call it lizard brain.
Speaker 1:Yeah lizard brain.
Speaker 2:Lizard brain sets in my football season is not over.
Speaker 1:I'm going to go back it could be the primate brain, but it's like the the stupid lizard brain.
Speaker 2:So I'm like my season is not over, I'm, I'm, I'm coming back and I'm playing. I just had a heart thing done, so whatever.
Speaker 1:So let me ask you real quick before before you continue it, because I want to hear what is the recovery like for them. Shocking you back out, cause it's not just, they're not just going to send you back home and like everything is dandy.
Speaker 2:Well, no, they do same day, man, same same. So as we get into this like cause it happened a handful of times, I mean it and it's scary that what a normal, healthy person would and think it like. It's like a day like me and you, I see you in the office on Tuesday, hey Nick, hey guys, yeah, I'm here to get shocked. You too. Okay, cool, boom, go home. Friday hey Nick, you're back again, cas, you too, it's a shock, shock, shock. Like yeah, it's really like that which I didn't know, any of this stuff Right, like you know, I'm oh yeah, I broke this, I'll heal. I don't care if it heals crooked, it'll heal.
Speaker 1:Ordin stuff you never think is going to happen.
Speaker 2:No, no, so, um, so they shocked me back, whatever. Um, I have to wear a heart monitor, external heart monitor, just to monitor everything. But, um, you know, I had a good doctor, good, good, good cardiologist, and I said, listen, I'm probably going to do this anyway, I'm probably going to go back and play ball anyway. Um, just what do I need to do? He's like we're the heart monitor. He's like do your normal exercises, do this, do that? I'm like, listen, I do yoga, I do insanity, I run, I do karate. I'm like I do. He's like do it all. He's like I want to see what your heart function is like when you're doing these things. So I wore that for about a, about a week. So everything was fine. But now they put me on this medication, man, and it goes into and I'm sure you've had people on that have talked about, you know, the thinners and the beta blockers.
Speaker 2:The beta dude, the beta blockers drove me crazy Really. Like like between that and maybe a combination of the eloquist because I was on eloquist that time, I don't know what it was Well, like one of the blood thinners, I remember, because I didn't stay, I didn't stay alone, I stayed with her the entire time. And I remember there were times where she was like like you just completely flipped, like you, just like, and I wouldn't remember, like I wouldn't. I'd be like what I'm like, what are you talking about? She's like you just yelling and screaming at me. And I remember it got to one point and it got so bad Like I called up the cardiologist. I said, and I was crying, I said if you don't take me off this stuff, I'm going to kill myself. Like this is, this stuff is fucking with me. And he was like all right, we'll, we'll, we'll, we'll change the eloquist. He's like stop taking a beta blocker. So I went back, so my heart function was fine. So he took the heart monitor off of me. I'm like all right, cool.
Speaker 2:So this happened in March. We usually kick our football season off for this league in like April. So actually this happened in February. So now we're in March. So now I just got to deal with the peck now. So now the heart stuff is fine. So now I got to deal with the peck.
Speaker 2:So now the question is do I go through with the surgery or do I try to rehab it? So I I go to this guy in Siocid, his name is Hussein, he precision physical therapy. Lucky for me he had to have both his pecks, never had surgery, just PT. So I remember I meet him, I go and he's like dude, listen. He's like I'll fix you. He's like but it's not going to be fun. He's like he's like I'm going to have to massage that thing. He's like I'm going to have to ice and stim it. I'm going to have to ultrasound it. He's like you're going to have to work out on it. He's like. He's like it's probably going to be worse than having the surgery.
Speaker 2:I was like all right, you know. And then again I didn't want to get cut open anyway. So I'm like effort, let's do it. So I grinded with him in five, six days a week for about three weeks, stupidly. I probably went back on the football field sooner than I was supposed to. Our first game that year was up in DC and you know, I was well enough, I was doing pushups. I was well enough, but I still had pain.
Speaker 2:But again, being hard headed, and you know let's bring, you know, you know, and I had just been named team captain, Like I'm, like you know jazzed up, yeah. So I'm like, yeah, I'm playing in this game, like I'm going, I never forget. So I go out there and I'm not sure if he did it before I left or somebody. So you know, kt tape back in the day, like everybody's, like KT tape says everything Right. Like you, you know it's like duct tape.
Speaker 1:Duct tape will fix anything until you got to take it off, and this shit rips your skin off.
Speaker 2:You're like ah so I had it all taped up. Right, had it all taped up and the kid that was covering me on other team, um, he always covered me. Every year we played DC. I remember I go to run a route and I went to plant and come back and the tape ripped off and I said, oh shit, it was to the point like in the middle of the play, in the middle of the game, he's like yo, are you all right? And I'm like, I'm like fuck, I'm like yo. I think I think the tape just ripped off. You know I'm not telling them, I'm hurt, like you know, other than the tape off me yeah.
Speaker 2:So like. So, whatever, I think I came out that game. I think I didn't play the rest of that game because it is basically I had no support, no, anything, because there's still basically torn. Come home. I think the following game was against a team that didn't count. I didn't play. So now here comes FDNY. So now I'm ready to get ready for FDNY.
Speaker 2:Come out that first drive, smoke them down the field. I think I had like five catches leads to a touchdown, things going crazy. We ended up beating them that game. You know a couple, I think like a couple points, right. So I remember the defense coordinator comes up to me out there in the game. He's like are you sure you were hurt, man? He's like I don't know the way you went, like that I was like. I was like no man, I'm hurt, I'm hurt. So I was like all right, cool. So now I'm getting back in the groove. The following week we play NYPD and I make like the circus catch on the sideline, catch it, come back, go to the huddle, call the play. I'm like all right, cool, go out to run, go out to run. And I'm running and I go to run. I'm like my arm's not moving.
Speaker 2:I'm like what the hell Call the train to come out? Oh, I think you got a stinger, so they start working on it. Working on it, I'm like, all right, cool, yeah, it feels better. I go back in Same side, same side as the pack. No, it was the other side, it was this side. So I go and I'm running. I'm like I'm like, yeah, my arm's not moving, like something's wrong. Like I'm like, okay, so half time going to the locker room, I'm like, yeah, I did something. I don't know what I did. I did something. We were playing an aviator. My all my family, coworkers, everybody had just got to the game. So I remember I come walking out, cleats on, pants on, all I took off was my shoulder pads and my helmet. I come walking out and I guess my family's like they were like something's wrong. I guess we're going to the hospital. So I get out, go to the hospital. I tore my rotator cuff. My season was done out.
Speaker 2:Did you tear the rotator cuff? Did you get hit? I don't, honestly, I don't know, man, still to this day I don't know. I don't think I got. I caught the ball on the sideline. I never got. You know, I didn't get blasted, like if I got blasted I'd be like, oh that's what did it. But I don't know, man, it really maybe to play before trying to throw a block or something. Some of the injuries are so weird, they just occur out of nowhere. Dude, I was, I was. I couldn't tell you. Sometimes I even did the big hits Did.
Speaker 1:I even do the big hits. Nah, the doctor was asking me, he's like, oh, how does this happen?
Speaker 2:I'm like I don't even know. So again went back to Hussein. He's like listen, he's like you're done. He's like there's no more football this year. I'm like, yeah, I kind of figured that there's no more football, so but rehabged it, got me back, I was good. So now coming off with Torin Peck, torin Roteta Cuff, the A-Fib.
Speaker 2:So now fast forward. You know, a couple of years into it I think we were playing I don't know if you shot this game, but we were playing FD on like a cold Friday night. It might have been. I think it might have been the last game you shot for us. It might have been there.
Speaker 2:We threw a pick late and I tried to tackle the kid, but I'm trying to rip the ball from him and now I tore this Peck. So I tore this Peck and I tore this Roteta Cuff. So now, as in the middle of the play, I'm trying to take the ball back from him. We both land and I'm right in front of their bench. I know a ton of guys on their team, so right in front of their bench, I try to rip the ball. We land, I feel it. I'm like lay it out on the floor. They come, their trainers come running over to me to come, I come over, I'm like, I'm like I tore my Peck and they were like, how do you know? I'm like you, tier one, you know. You know what that feeling's like. So, again, go back to Hussein, you know whatever.
Speaker 1:Is that common where, if you tear one, the other, one usually goes Overcompensating?
Speaker 2:maybe that's what I would think. Yeah, overcompensating, I wonder if that's.
Speaker 1:I wonder if there's like a statistic, like a percentage that they have If you tier one, If you tier one, what's the percentage that you that you tear the other? Yeah, you know what?
Speaker 2:I wouldn't be surprised, dude, Like I remember like years ago I had a hernia, I had a hernia, I had hernia surgery on one side and a couple years later I had another one on the other side and the doctor was like, yeah well, you know common, you know that. You know, you get one on one side, you can get one on the other side. I'm like, oh great, nobody told me that. But I don't know, I wouldn't be surprised. If that's a, if that's a thing, man, you tier one, you tier the other.
Speaker 1:But uh, no, it doesn't. I mean it doesn't say uh, because I'll tell you why. And then I want you to continue when I have my first pup cookie. A lot of the dogs that get spayed or they get neutered, they lose those natural hormones, obviously, uh, because they don't have their sexual reproductive system performing like they normally would if they if they had it. They lose the hormones to keep certain tissues and bones healthier throughout their life. So a lot of times when, when a dog gets spayed or neutered, they'll tear their ACLs later in life, especially if they're a little heavier, like she was heavy, especially if they're a little heavier, it's much easier. And then once they tear one, they lose their hormones. And then once they tear one, the doctor tells you well, you're there, the surgeon that did it. He's like yo, three years on the dot, she's going to tear the other one. We're like what Get the fuck out of here? Does the surgery rehab everything? Like that, whatever this bro, three years to like the?
Speaker 1:month the other tour where I'm just like crazy, so I would assume that something like that would be the over I don't know if it's her overcompensating and this and that and just putting all that pressure on that leg and then eventually just it wears out.
Speaker 2:I mean, honestly, I thought that's what happened when I tore the rotator cuff. I'm like, all right, I was compensating heavy on this side to compensate for the torn peck on the left side. So you know, whatever. So I walked out of that season with two torn, two torn injury, two torn muscles. Well, actually at that point that was my third one. I finished the season. You know, obviously stupid me, but I wasn't at 100%. Finished the season. Lizard brain, yeah, lizard brain. So I had my first bout with AFib right. So now here we come. I think the last time we sat down and talk was 2020, right.
Speaker 2:So then that April I lost my little sister. My little sister passed away. So what that did to me is screwed me up immensely, right, you know, sent me into such a deep alcohol. You know that was that was my way to cope with everything. Right, alcohol, alcohol, alcohol I mean it was to the point. Sometimes do like I was drinking before work I'd have to turn around and call out and like I was too drunk to drive to work, like I was like no, I got to go back home. Like it was crazy. It messed me up. But what people you know, as I've gone through this stuff what people don't realize is how some of these diseases and stuff affect your body, right? So now I'm just drinking, drinking, drinking. Like I'd probably be lying to you if I said I didn't go maybe four or five months with having a drink every single day. You know so, um. So you know, on the outside I'm fine, externally I'm fine, inside, I'm destroying everything in there. So fast forward to about, you know crazy what alcohol does to you?
Speaker 1:Yeah, man, it's talking about the substance that you were specifically leaning on. Yeah, yeah, pretty crazy what it was.
Speaker 2:I haven't had alcohol in over a year. I know I saw that. Congrats, man, that's good.
Speaker 1:I mean I think a lot of people that were. I mean I got, I mean there was like over 1500 people that fucking saw it and then reached out to me yeah, not 1500 people, but I'd probably say two 300 people hit me up there. I feel so proud of you. This and that I was like I just I wasn't an alcoholic, I just wanted to know. No, no, I was like I wasn't an alcoholic. I just decided that it wasn't serving me anymore and I just didn't want to even fucking deal with it anymore.
Speaker 2:I mean you could say like I mean, I'll say I wasn't an alcoholic, I just was using alcohol to cope right. And this is this is this was even a long time after my sister had passed. You know, I had a really good connection with my sister, I was close with my sister. So, you know, everybody took it hard. I took it hard, you know as well, being the only only brother, only boy, and it continued long after. And so I say that to say this.
Speaker 2:So, a couple of years after now, I'm in a bad spot. I'm really stressed, I'm really. You know, whatever, um, going a family trip, halfway into the uh, halfway into the trip, I get this immense pain in my stomach, right To the point where I'm, I'm keeled over, like, like, like somebody was stabbing me in my stomach, sweating, pouring sweat. You don't have to play, say in my family like something's wrong. I got, I got to go, you got to take me to the hospital. They know when I say I got to go to the hospital, something's wrong because I'm not going to the hospital. Right, I'm not, I'm not going to the hospital. So, um, go, go to the hospital.
Speaker 2:They're asking me. It's tough when you're international too, yeah, and they're asking me if I was involved in any combat sports. They're like. They're like have you been in any combat sports lately? I'm like and that, and also there's COVID time, right. So now they wouldn't talk to me or touch me until they got my COVID test back.
Speaker 2:So now it's, it's, um, it's have you been in any combat sports lately? I'm like no, I'm like I haven't played football, I haven't been to karate or Thai. I'm like no, I haven't. Like, you know no. So they're like um, you have blood clots in your spleen. And I'm like, I'm like what, how do I, how do I get blood clots in my, in my spleen? So now, of course, I'm over there. So now it's back on the blood dinners, back into a hospital where nobody speaks English. You know, they throw me right in the ICU, um, because obviously you know the class if they travel, you know aneurysm and stuff like that. So, um, so now it's the how did you get this? How did this happen? Right? So, um, the AFIP thing came up, but you know, we kind of like pushed that to the side. It had inclusive. Yeah, we hadn't had any information. We like, to this day, I mean people say or my doctors, or after that they say, okay, this is what happened or that's why that happened, but nobody specifically said after that incident or out there, this is what caused that, right? So I leave over there. I was over there.
Speaker 2:That entire trip was awash by the time I came back. It was time to see all the doctors, right? So now I see all the doctors. I'm seeing a cardiologist, I'm seeing a gastro, I'm seeing a hematologist. I'm seeing all these things. I never forget. My stepmom calls me up and she's like you know, you have the sickle cell trait, right? And I'm like, yeah, she's like, well, you know, if you're dehydrated and you have sickle cell trait and you fly to high altitude, you're prone it's called a splenic infarct, You're prone to get blood clots in your spleen. I'm like, really, I'm like, okay, that's what makes the most sense. Okay, cool, just trying to search for an answer. Yeah, like, at this point, but now it's almost like three or four, three months removed, like, because this was a long process without for work. For a while the job wasn't. Let me go back to work, being on the thinners and everything else I was on, yeah, because you can't be in any combat.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so now my buddy and I want you to continue. I hate it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah yeah, no, no no.
Speaker 1:It's funny that you said not funny. But you say all this because my buddy Gabe, he had an issue with blood clots recently. He was driving down South Carolina completely painful in his calf, couldn't searing, pain hot. He didn't know what was going on.
Speaker 1:Swallow driving back going to the hospital. Blood clots His mom has them and kind of runs in his family. He's lucky. And he's lucky he caught it, because now he's been on blood thinners and he's like dude, I could barely go to the gym because he wanted to join Jiu Jitsu. I can't now because if he's like I'm bruising left and right now if I take one hit, that's it yeah.
Speaker 2:I mean we'll go, we'll go, we'll go to another story about that.
Speaker 1:So, as you were saying, she mentioned about the spleen.
Speaker 2:Yeah. So now it's like, okay, that's a possibility of what happened. So still again, never found a clear cut answer. So now we go, so now I'm going to the hematologist, I'm going to all these people, so I go see my cardiologist and I go see a new cardiologist and he's like, all right, you have the AFib history. I don't think it was AFib. I'm going to put a monitor AFib monitor in under your skin. It's an app, it's an app process. Like you know. Your app will read it. Let's just say you're going yeah so a bar?
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, my ex had that. Yeah, right here, my ex had that yeah.
Speaker 2:So put it in. He's like it's just a monitor. He's like you know, I don't think it was AFib, but we're going to put it in just a monitor, okay, cool. So he puts it in. You know, whatever? I got the app, it's reading blah, blah, blah, cool, whatever. So about a year later now, I've played. I went, I played football. I got off the blood dinners. They put me on Aspen diet. I got the blood dinners, I played football, whatever, after the football season, I don't know. I was just really stressed. I just had a lot of stuff on my mind, a lot of demons, you know. So I'm drinking heavily, heavily, heavily, heavily again. And I got this monitor in. So I remember it was a Wednesday. No, it was a Thursday. I'm at work, I'm sitting at my desk typing blah, blah, blah. So now I get phone call. No, sure it's calling my phone.
Speaker 2:I'm like all right, what are you calling me? I'll check it in. So yeah, they call me. They leave me a message. I listen to the message. They're basically like oh, yeah, your monitor started sending an AFib signal. Can you call us? So I go, I call them. I'm like what's going on? So they're like, yeah, yesterday, wednesday. So it's Thursday. So they're like yeah, yesterday Wednesday, your monitor sent off AFib alert. I'm like, well, so now I get pissed. I'm like so you're calling me today telling me basically I've been in AFib since yesterday. I'm like that kind of doesn't make any sense. But okay, what do I do? Okay, just get over here as fast as you can. So I go over there. So now this is my second time being an AFib. So I go over there, start doing all the tests. They put me back on the blood thinners, all those other stuff, schedule an appointment. So now it's the plane ride.
Speaker 2:It was AFib that probably caused the blood clots in the spleen, right? So now I'm like all right, I'll give you that. Like, maybe I'm 75 to 85%, like that's probably what did happen. You know, I'm not giving them the full 9,500 because who knows. So I'm like all right, cool. So now it's what to do after that.
Speaker 2:So again, such a common thing Set a date. Have you eaten anything? Have you did anything? Okay, we're just going to put you under, shock you back into rhythm, okay, cool, so they shock me back into rhythm. That was in, I think it was in July. So now I'm pissed off that it went that long that they didn't tell me, or it took a day. Like you know, a lot of stuff could have happened in a day. Right, I'm not on a blood thinner. Like you know, if the AFib, the irregularity of the heart, like, creates a clot, like it jacks your heart rate up, it's crazy that it you feel it. I never felt it. I never felt it Really and it was. I always feel my heartbeat it raced up and down.
Speaker 1:I always feel so if I, if I start feeling like it's racing a little bit, I know.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I mean, and I mean but I've had that before, right being an athlete and you know but like yeah, but even sitting here now I can feel how it's beating without having to actually like grab my pulse.
Speaker 1:Yeah, no, I'm just a fucking weirdo. I'm just a fucking weirdo.
Speaker 2:Wolverine, yeah man.
Speaker 1:Tell how many beats per minute my heart's going.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so we um Cornball, but no, you start thinking about stuff like that, dude. Yeah, I was so pissed off that I went out and you know not giving my plug but I went out and got an Apple watch right Cause Apple has a favorite right. So that happened in July. So now it's January, the next year. So fine, I'm doing good, and you know, now I'm getting into what are the triggers right. So alcohol is a trigger. Spicy spicy food is a trigger. Um, there's this. Uh, I never did it, obviously, because the work I do, but I had friends that marijuana was a trigger for them, like, so now you have to energy drinks, coffee.
Speaker 1:I take a sip yeah.
Speaker 2:It's only a sip. Um, coffee, caffeine, triggers, triggers, triggers, triggers. So now, um, so now I'm sitting at my desk and, you know, couple of my partners knew what I was going through, you know. So my one partner, jay, he's sitting next to me. We're sitting there to Sunday. So I'm sitting there typing, all of a sudden, my watch. I'm like. He's like what's that? I'm like I don't know. I'm like did you never heard that notification? Like fuck, the watch alerted me that I was in a fit. So he was like bro, you're sitting here typing, like what's going on?
Speaker 2:So I'm like the only thing I did differently. And and stupid me, I had some food and I had like crushed red pepper and I just went to town on it. And I'm not a spicy guy, I hate spicy food. So, just, I had some real stuff and I remember eating and like this is spicy man, this is hot. So again, like, like, like, no, it's spicy food. And when everything passes down, right, it's all right here. I'm like that's the only thing I did wrong, like I hadn't really been drinking, like that's the only thing I did differently. So again, now I'm back in Ethan. So now you're this is my third time in Ethan.
Speaker 2:So now I go, I call the doctor, like all right, you still got all the medication. Yeah, I still got the medication. All right, pop the pill, pop the blood thinner, pop the um um topolot, which you know helps control the heart rate, pop all that stuff. So I'm like, all right. I was like you know what it's a watch, it could be wrong, you know.
Speaker 2:So at my office, emt just hang out in the parking lot. Ironically, I go out there, hook me up. There's an FDNY truck right there, so go in. I'm like hey guys, you know I do such and such. You know blah, blah, blah. Um, I'm an AFib. Um, I watch a little to me to AFib. I just, can you just check me out? I just want to make sure. They're like yeah, sure, come in and start talking to me. Cool guys, they hooked me up. They're like yeah, you're an AFib, blah, blah. They're like all right, so what hospital do you want to go to? And I'm like, yeah, I'm not going to the hospital. They're like you're an AFib, we're going to. We're going to transport you to the hospital.
Speaker 2:I'm like yeah, yeah, I'm like I got my car, I got my gun. I'm like I'm not going through that whole song and dance. I'm like I'll call my doctor, I'll put him on speaker. He's like call my doctor. He's like, yeah, he can drive home, he's fine. I'm like you know, as long as it's not crazy, I already had took the pills. He's like he could drive home, it's fine. I had to sign some waiver, so he let me go, I drive home. So again, now I get home, now I call my doctor. Got to schedule this whole thing again Like, all right.
Speaker 1:So how long before you call to the appointments and reshock Um, probably within like maybe a day or two.
Speaker 2:So I probably spent like a day or two in AFib, you know, and you know it's rough, like you know. And then now the. And what do you feel?
Speaker 1:when you're in it Nothing. Or is it hard to relax and sit still?
Speaker 2:So I was feeling nothing, which is what they said was really weird, like I had never felt the flutters. I never felt any of that stuff that most people feel. Um, but now, again, now you, you know, your mind starts.
Speaker 1:You're thinking about it.
Speaker 2:You're thinking about your heart and your chest and weird shit, and thinking I'm going to, I'm going to go to sleep, I'm not going to wake up, like you know, you think you start thinking crazy stuff, like there was nights. I think that that time I probably didn't sleep for like a day or two, which probably makes it even worse, you know. So again they go and put me under, they shock me. But now this time they're talking about doing a procedure, right, um, it's called the AFib ablation. So they're like you know, maybe you should really think about doing this. And I'm like no, fine, I'm not going to do it. Like I know my triggers, I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm fine. That was in February, I think. Like two months later I went back into it again, but then my body got out of it, but then I went right back into it. So now I'm finally like all right, let's, let's talk about doing this procedure. So, basically, I did an AFib ablation, which you did it. Yeah, I ended up doing it. Yeah, so pretty much, what is it?
Speaker 1:What is it in tail?
Speaker 2:Short and sweet. They go up in the groin camera. Um, luckily I was in AFib when they did it. So they put the camera all the way up. They set me up. I was on a frigging metal slab dude for about maybe six hours, so like no cushioning, no, nothing. And I say that because when I woke up I felt that metal slab Like that was probably worse than everything they did to me. So go do that. So what they do is they send the camera up there. They shock me back into rhythm, right. But now they have a camera in there watching what part of the heart is having this electrical malfunction, whatever you want to call it that's causing the AFib. So they see what part of the heart is causing it, which was whatever, because then I went right back into AFib again. So now, um, I believe on me, they burned it. But they could even burn out that part of that electrical part of the heart or freeze it. So I think they burned it.
Speaker 2:Um, you know, monitor me for a while. That was not going to work. That was last year in March. And then now here we go again, Lizard brain. You know, I was back on the football field a couple months later, but luckily that that was so, hopefully, that was my last thing. You know what I'm saying. But you know, everybody has their vices, right? I'm not going to say I'm a saint and I don't drink at all because I still drink, right, you know, I'm not pounding a drink every single day. I have a drink when I want to have a drink. You know, um, you know, that's why I said you know, you go in a year, man, that's that's, that's that's great. Everybody has their demons, Everybody has their reasons. I um, you know, sometimes I mean I can't smoke, I can't do any other stuff, that you know. It's not saying I would, you know, um.
Speaker 1:I don't smoke. Yeah, it was never for me.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:And then the the more research that you do on um, random psychosis events that happen when you smoke too much marijuana over a prolonged period of time can happen at any point. Yeah, you have a psychotic event like a psychosis, like deep state psychosis type event. Good on that man. Yeah, I got enough problems in my life, I don't need to deal with some shit like that. Yeah, man, I was drinking in my apartment. Uh, I was drinking, not a lot, but I was drinking every weekend and I was smoking here and there with my buddy, like he'd come over. We'd walk around the block while I walk, kenji, and we'd smoke something, but I just always felt off afterwards and I didn't like it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, no.
Speaker 1:And I feel like I feel like a lot of the stuff that I do, even like the gym stuff, the jiu-jitsu, everything. It's not to run away from things, but for the most part it's been almost like a good crutch, that type of stuff, because for a long time my mindset has been much different than what it is now. My mindset's a lot different now and, um, I don't know it, just it's. It's a very positive thing of change. But at the same time it's scary that I've changed this much in such a quick amount of time. Usually this is a type of a transition you see somebody go through. In five, six, 10 years they start realizing certain things and I've found that in a year I have changed so drastically with mentality, physically, just emotionally, it's just. It's kind of shocking at times.
Speaker 1:So when I gave up two prong reason why I gave up the alcohol, really the first one was I just always felt off after I drank. I mean, I remember a couple of nights when Tyler and I my buddy Tyler we'd go into the village and we'd go sit down, nice dinner, just two guys just hanging out, just having a good time. Get a couple of Manhattan's, this and that, old fashions, whatever, bro, but I like, by the time the, the entrees came out, I'm like falling asleep, dude, I'm so fucking tired, I just I can't. I can't do this shit anymore. Then we went to Nashville. Nashville was the same thing, bro.
Speaker 1:It was four and a half days of just unhinged, drinking, sun up to sundown, and I just I didn't want to do it anymore and the more research that you see that comes out on what it actually does to you longterm wise, shrinking the gray matter in your brain just along with the addiction purposes of it. I just I said you know what I got to get? I got to get rid of it. So that's the first problem. The second problem reason that I stopped drinking was because I have hemachromatosis, so I don't know if you're familiar with that. It happens to a lot of people that are Irish, so I have a little bit of Irish in my in my blood, thanks to my, my dad's, side. Okay, happy St Patrick's Day.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Could have done without it, could have done without that side of me. But basically it's when your body stores too much iron. So I have the opposite of anemia, okay, I store too much iron, and then it deposits in your liver and your brain, so you can actually die from it if you catch it too late. And even if you have hemachromatosis and you drink moderate to lightly, you can still develop cirrhosis of the liver pretty easily, because the body is just so taxed from dealing with the iron. And now, as of late, I haven't had my diet's kind of been all over the place lately. I'm not as lean as I was during the summer, which is fine because I'm still 188 right now, so I have plenty of time to like really lean up, tighten up, shred up, whereas normally I'm like two-something and I'm like, oh fuck, I gotta start now for summer. So I feel really good.
Speaker 1:My problem is, though, now that I want to eat red meat, my head starts getting foggy, my head gets clouded, and that's the iron. So I don't even know what the fuck to eat anymore. I don't want to go vegan, I don't want to go plant-based, I have no interest in doing that, so it's like okay, so maybe if I eat chicken, I feel fine eating chicken. So I was like, okay, I'll eat chicken, and it's like I can't just eat chicken the rest of my life, so I can have red meat, but it's got to be super limited. Now, what about our nutritionist? I could maybe do I have plenty of people I could probably talk to.
Speaker 1:I thought you referred me to people. Yeah, I have plenty of people I could talk to, but it's just. You know, it's tough man. It's just another weird little battle that I'm going to have to deal with. So I did a phlebotomy and I hate blood tests. I was really feeling shitty to go and get that done.
Speaker 2:Let me just be very clear. That's like me saying I gotta go to hospital.
Speaker 1:Dude for me to go and sit there with my arm and have them drain me out of pint. I was feeling shitty and I said, fuck it, let me just give it a shot, because my guy down in Florida, who's a natural medicine guy for years I call him the mad scientist he's been telling me Nick, you have high iron, you have high ferretin, your brain fog, all these different little things that you're having you have to go and donate blood. Just get it out of your body, okay, okay, two years go by, I go get a blood test again. Ferretin's still high, but it's 200 points lower than what it was two years ago. And I go oh, it's perfect, I had never donated or anything like that.
Speaker 2:And it's going down, whatever.
Speaker 1:But then the symptoms were worse than it was two years ago, even though the iron was still lower. I still was feeling so mentally drained and weird. So I just said you know what, let me just give it a shot. Let me see. I went, I dumped the blood. A couple of days went by, felt great. Yeah, felt great. I was like okay, because what it does is once you get all that out now, your body starts pulling the iron out of your brain, out of your liver, all the stored places, to get it back into your blood system.
Speaker 1:So it's a weird thing, man, it's just. You know, we all have nobody and nothing is perfect. Nobody goes through this life. No animal, no person goes through this life without any health issues. It's like when I first found out that Kenji had epilepsy, I was devastated. More so not because he had the epilepsy, but because I painted the picture in my mind of the perfect dog for months and months and months. And how you know, when he gets older we'll have to deal with whatever. And then we have a two year old dog that starts having seizures. You go what's wrong?
Speaker 2:What is?
Speaker 1:this shit. Yeah, Like he's too young to be having these problems, Like it was almost like I put up the. I had to battle myself mentally because I put him on this pedestal in front of everybody because he's amazing and he's my favorite fucking he's my dude.
Speaker 2:I hang out with him all the time.
Speaker 1:It's weird that he's not here right now.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:But, but you know what, truthfully? It's because it's because I went to class this morning. Then I walked him and then I said you know what? I just want to leave his ass home, yeah, and he's got to have some time by himself. Yeah, and you too, yeah, and me and me, cause that's where it gets you get started getting drained, yeah. So I only told me times I could tell him to stop licking the grass, but anyway, yeah.
Speaker 1:So I painted this perfect picture, especially on Instagram and on online, and I I'm sure a lot of people listening to this have done this as well with things in their life, their own life, whatever it might be. You paint this perfect picture of everything and it's really not like that in real life. And instead of instead of instead of accepting that it's not like that and accepting that the universe and where you are and what you're doing and the the struggles that you have to deal with and overcome, instead of accepting that everything is how it should be, and I'm I'm battling the battles that I need to battle for a reason yeah, you fight it for a long time and when you fight it, it doesn't help anything. It's just a denial stage of of a, of a way that you need to just keep pushing away from you. Yeah, and realistically, what you have to do is you have to kind of as fucked up as it is, you have to embrace it. You have to say, okay, well, you know, in your situation, this is something that I have to. I have to know the signs.
Speaker 1:I had to confront my demons and I had to get the surgery done with me with the hemochromatosis I I first of all if I would have been wondering to drink alcohol anyway, and now I can't anyway. But on the other side I can't really have as much red meat. I love steak, I love red meat. So it's like, uh, okay, so now I guess I got to figure out a new way to eat. I mean, it's weird for me, man Like I'm just now. I come home from Jiu Jitsu, I'm starving and I just look around. I go, uh, normally I'd have like steak and rice, but okay, I guess I'll just have yogurt or something.
Speaker 2:Just just just just got to adapt to it.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's an adaption period. It's same thing with with Kenji, it's the same thing with with with him. You adapt to it, you adapt to it you. You use the medicines that you have to use to get everything in check and make sure that he's healthy and as healthy as can be. And I've said this to the breeder, I've said this to a lot of different people and it hurts to say it, but whether I have a year with him left, whether I have 15 years, you know, you just got to take every single day and enjoy it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, man, that's that's, you know I. Going back to the alcohol thing, you know it's funny because I forgot who told me. But somebody was like he said, look at it like this, right, they're like, uh, when you start drinking, like uh, probably 17, 18, start drinking, right, like all right, so 17, 18, start drinking. He's like in your 40s now. He's like, I think, at all the damage that that drinking has done to your body over time. And when he said that to me I was like wow, I was like that's crazy.
Speaker 2:And you know, especially to the point where it was like this is this is causing, it's causing some major issues that I probably don't even really know what's underlying. You know what I'm saying. So, um, you know, I mean I got that under control. It was, you know, hopefully, the AFIP thing is, is is pretty much, uh, pretty much a rap. You know that's not guaranteed either, but you know I took a step to to correct that and and that was that. So now, now we're here and, uh, you know, still playing, still playing ball, still playing ball, still playing ball.
Speaker 2:These guys mess with me all year. Like God, this is it. They're like yeah, you've been saying that for the last like 10 years. Man, I'm like, yeah, I'm like like I don't know if it's a cool thing saying you're the oldest person on the team, though you know, and it gets even worse. So last year we're playing, um, we're playing NYPD, right, so we're playing NYPD. It's a I believe it was a Friday night game, so we're playing NYPD this Friday night game. So I play receiver. So I'm lined up on the NYPD side, right. And again, I know a lot of guys on that team.
Speaker 2:I went to college with some of those guys, so I'm lined up on their side and, um, one of the guys he's actually my partner now um, in the unit, I'm in, uh, he yells out. He's like don't let this old man beat you. But now the irony of it is the guy across from me goes I'm older than him, so I'm in the. I'm like look, I'm like all right, so I run my route, come back. I'm like how old are you man? He's like I'm fully six. And I was like all right, you are older than me.
Speaker 2:I'm like bro, what are we doing? He's like I love this man. He's like. He's like I love being out here. He's like I love the guys, I love the camaraderie. He's like I'll play if I'm 50, if I can. He's like I just he's like I love this. He's like I don't know when I don't. What do you say to me? I don't know and I don't want to know what life would be at, would be like outside of doing this, and I said, wow, I was like in something he needed. I'm done. I'm not. This is. This is my last year.
Speaker 1:I'm done with now, on the flip side, think about a professional athlete, real professional athlete, and when the curtain call is coming, yeah, them to actually close their career out, and you playing at a semi pro, amateur type league, yeah, how hard it is for you to hang it up.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Think about how hard it is for them to hang it up. This is all they've known. Yeah, they've been in the game in the league since their late teens, early 20s, and this is their life. This is not only is their livelihood. You know, take money, take all that stuff out of it. This is all that they know on a daily basis is off season on season, off season on season, getting crepping feeling you know, camaraderie, the teamwork, what's our schedule? Like, oh, who we playing? Oh, we're going for the chip this year. There's like that's all they know and then all of a sudden, and then all of a sudden sitting in your living room by yourself.
Speaker 2:It's not just that, it's like even. It's like, let's say, cops, firefighters right Like you know correction officers like EMTs like you do. You do something for so long, right Like so most of us are in 20 year careers. Right, in my 17th year, I got three years left. Three years, like I have a norm. I'm up early, I go to work four or five days a week. Now, what are you doing? That's over. Like I just did this same thing for 20 years. Right Now, it's like you're shell shocked Like all right, like you know, I mean, most people bounce, bounce back right into something new, like you know.
Speaker 1:I think the habit building that you formed over this time, that you, you know, really crystallized and in your brain. I think that that helps you, though, to keep doing the things that you do, and now you just have to find the different path of what you were going to do. Work wise.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, I mean you're going to keep training.
Speaker 1:You're going to keep doing the damn thing, yeah.
Speaker 2:I mean, and you know, even like doing security, like I did security for years, man, and it's like you know, I talked to people like, oh, you're going to do security after it and I'm like I don't know if I want to. I mean I might. I mean I got a couple guys that I hooked up with that, you know. They asked me when you retired, man, he's like we could throw you right into this role. We could throw, and the money's good. They make good money to do a lot of stuff. That's cool. But do you want to keep putting yourself out there like that? I just like, like even today, like being being off today, right, like so refreshing man.
Speaker 2:I was off today I got up, I went to the gym, I went to yoga, came here to see you, I'm going to go see Scott. Like it's just, I got practice later. Like I'm just like, wow, man, it's so refreshing. But again, you know it's a nice.
Speaker 1:It's a nice change up and stepping in the past.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and I'm not even in a bad like. I'm not work wise, I'm not even in a bad place. You know I'm not in jail every day Like I used to be, you know, 10 years ago, like you know so. But even with saying that, like it's still, it's refreshing to not be at work, right yeah.
Speaker 1:That's how I've listened, that's how I've been. Yeah, kind of talked about it briefly when you first got here, yeah, just along with the different headspace. I've, I've, I've read too many stories about people making careers and not making lives for themselves.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:And I don't want to get stuck in that. So I'm trying to change things in my early thirties, while I still have a lot of control over it. My work has been interesting. Lately it's been a little slower than it normally is, but I think this is the universe sending me the sign. And it has been slow because I don't have clients. I have clients, I have a lot of retainer work, so but once I'm done with the work for the month, it's just sometimes it's a little slow and then you go what should I do?
Speaker 1:But instead of sitting there saying what should I do, I've learned to embrace being quiet and accepting the low points, because for so long it was like what plane am I getting on? What video am I shooting? Who needs this edit? But, but, but.
Speaker 1:Oh, we got a podcast on Wednesday, oh, but I still have to get to this edit and I just was so frazzled and earlier in our conversation you had mentioned that you feel like so drained. Sometimes it's too much stimuli. Yeah, that's what it really is, and I've been preaching this to a lot of my close friends now and anybody that's listening. I hope that you guys take this and learn from it and actually digest it and use it. For so long we've just accepted the societal norms of just having these little anxiety boxes on, go from sunup to sundown and past from sundown, and what that means is not only has everybody that you know, that has your number, had access to you whenever they want, which isn't okay but we have all of the entertainment in the world at our fingertips. We've got porn, we've got Netflix, we've got games, we've got social media of just infinite scrolling, and it's just a fucking waste of time is what it is.
Speaker 1:It's a waste of time.
Speaker 2:It's destroyed. I mean, dude, I remember you. I mean, you're going back. I don't think I. I don't think I had my first cell phone until probably 2000 and maybe maybe before 2004. And I only got one because the girl I was dating she's like yeah, I'm not going to keep calling your grandmother's house, you know, but I had was a landline if I wasn't there, but it was so free, it was pure. Like you know, these things ruined everything and I'll go.
Speaker 1:I will, however, go a step further and I will say that it's not the phone that ruined it. It's the applications that we've allowed to be installed on the phones that are the distraction, because if we delete all the apps off the phone and we delete all of everything and we just have a phone, facetime for an iPhone and iMessage whatever your messaging app is that's all you're going to do on it. Yeah, you know. So like sitting. Two Sundays ago I went to IMC in this in town and I intentionally left my. Well, I left my mainline home, because I do generally on the weekends now anyway, but I left my mainline home. I took my personal phone, which doesn't have any social media on it. My mom, a couple of people have that phone number and I put that face down on the table in case anybody called me, because they know if you need me, call me on that line.
Speaker 1:And I just took in my surroundings and I found it very crazy that people were looking at me like I was weird, because I was not only sitting alone enjoying a meal, but I wasn't on my phone and I'm not going to lie, I felt weird for a little while. Yeah, I felt weird to like look around and just like take everything in. It's like, okay, well, I've looked at that picture four times now. Yeah, nothing's changed. But it's okay Sit there and be bored. It's okay Wait for your food, be present, look around, look people in the eye, sit like that. We've allowed these things to just fill every second of our day that isn't go, go, go. Even when we are go, go go. I mean I used to laugh and joke about how I was the best text and driver. It's not something to be fucking proud of, bro.
Speaker 2:Not at all. It's not something to be proud of?
Speaker 1:No, no, no, I'm not proud of that anymore, man, yeah, it's just. I have to be focused, man. Yeah, and it's just. It's the constant dinging, the constant buzzing, the phantom buzzes where you think that the phone actually went off in your pocket and it didn't actually do anything. It's weird, man, how they control us. I turn all that stuff off bro.
Speaker 1:I turn off all the notifications as well. But once you start realizing that you are not the, you are not the customer for these sites, the advertisers are You're the product, yeah, and it becomes weird. It's. Then it becomes weird when you start thinking about it like that. That's different. I mean even my buddy Tyler. He came over Saturday and our St Patrick's Day was we went and got pedicures. Oh listen.
Speaker 2:And we I'm doing jujitsu. You got to keep the feet clean, man, so you still got the. Was it another butter?
Speaker 1:No, I don't have any.
Speaker 2:I still have that in my cabinet.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I still have that that stuff was great, man, I think they went under. I don't. I don't. That was fucking awesome. Tame the beast nut player.
Speaker 1:We were so close to getting a deal with them too, me and Panetti. I was so mad when that COVID hit and then they pulled any funding that they were going to give us. They were going to pay us a good amount per episode, like we were getting excited, yeah, oh man. But we went and got pedicures, we went and got food and then we chilled. But when we were chilling he was on his phone just scrolling through stories on Instagram. I said yo, dog. I said get the fuck off the phone. Yeah, let's hang out. I said yo, let me, let me explain something to you. I said it's devil's advocate, because I have to create. My job is to create videos for clients and most of it's for social. So I get it. But I said you can still be a content producer and not a consumer, which basically means that I can put things out there but not have to consume any content from anybody.
Speaker 1:People ask me all the time yo, do you see my story? No, I didn't. I don't watch anybody's stories anymore. Notifications are off. I go on, I post and I dip. It's not because I don't love y'all, it's not because I don't want to watch what you guys have going on. I'm tired of third partying other people's lives. It's weird when you think about it like I used to document my entire fucking day. My entire day Every four seconds there was a story up about something that was going on. And when you think about people that are watching that or you're watching somebody else do that, you're just like why am I watching this all day and just sitting there like this?
Speaker 2:Yeah, just hitting next next watching the person that put up like 16 or 17 guilty and you're just like guilty. But you're sitting there like oh man, oh man, what do you do? Oh man, they do that, so who cares?
Speaker 2:I gotta live my own life you know, you know it's funny and I always make it. You know, if I'm out with my lady like, it's like you see couples out, right, that this used to kill me, right? You see the couples out, so like me and you out and we're both like this. I got both out. You know, we're both like this, we're both like this. Hey, you know I've gotten, you know I've gotten into issues where sometimes and you know, I look at it differently, right? So my lady should be like where's your phone? I haven't seen your phone all weekend or haven't seen your phone. But why do I need to be on my phone if I'm with you, like?
Speaker 1:person worried about calling yeah, so what?
Speaker 2:yeah, yeah. So why do I need like? But like, that's, that's, that's our society. Right, we're too engaged in the phones, right, like your phone's not out, like, and I sit down, like, look at these two at the dinner table, right, like they haven't said one word to each other, but they've been on their phone the entire time.
Speaker 1:We're the most connected, disconnected side society in history. Yeah it's it's troubling.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I mean I got like I think I had at one point I had Facebook and I think I deleted my Facebook one. I have the Instagram. I'm close to deleting my Facebook. Yeah, very closely, yeah, I did my mom.
Speaker 1:I told my mom that and she just goes. Oh, I go. Oh, what are you? What the fuck? She goes, she goes. Oh well, I like wishing you happy birthday. I go wish me a birthday in real life. Fuck that place. It's a fake digital world.
Speaker 1:Yeah when I joined, oh, when I joined og, the gym I go to in the morning, which I'd love for you to come one day, I'll come through, you'd love it. Yeah, yeah, it's very, it's very intense, it's right up your alley, you'd love it. When I went there, a couple of the hot girls that like really smoke show chicks that go there, yeah, they followed me. Okay, cuz, evan, shout out to Evan, he's one of the owners, he's dope, he's been on the pot as well. Taylor is the other owner. He, he's been on the pot as well. He, they would shout me out. And you know, girls, they, they follow you. So I'd follow them back.
Speaker 1:I would intentionally, when I saw them in class the next time, I intentionally like try to look at them Like this and just wait for them to like look over at me and just go hey, good morning Would do it. Yeah, you'll watch your third party my entire life on social. You won't say anything, you won't actually talks me in person. Yeah, we're good, don't worry about it. I removed them as followers. I unfollowed them. I'm like yeah, I don't do fake digital relationships.
Speaker 2:That's not real but that's, that's society, yeah.
Speaker 1:I'm good on it. You all, y'all can have that trait. I'm not. I'm not gonna. I'm not gonna pony that trade up on on what my life is gonna be. My life is gonna be real shit. Yeah, sitting down, being able to have eye contact, talk, have a conversation, hang with your boys, but tell your boys when it's too much like you'll put the fucking phones away.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah chill out.
Speaker 1:See like I turn this phone off at night.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:I. The only time I turn it on is I know that somebody doesn't have that number that I know is gonna message me. Okay, I'll turn it back on for a few, but then, once I'm done it's off, I text my mom, usually right before jiu-jitsu. I text her, I go, I'm on, I'm on the, the personal line Turning the other. Don't, don't hit the other one up, because you won't it won't be any answer.
Speaker 2:Yeah, nah, man I I gotta turn both my phones on. Now I'm getting to the point. The last couple of days I've been sleeping through my alarm, so I Got to turn both my phones.
Speaker 1:Well, truthfully, you wear the Apple watch to bed too.
Speaker 2:No, I don't wear it to bed.
Speaker 1:I feel, I feel like that's weird.
Speaker 2:It is weird, but because you're just constantly connected, we go back to this constantly digital stimuli on you all day, all night, if you really pay attention to this Apple watch, like what?
Speaker 1:like the sensor on it, like I'm just like, no, I'm good like well, the thing with the with, with wearing it to bed, which I don't really advocate for it. But if you're having trouble waking up, mm-hmm, it has a, it'll tap your wrist. Yeah, it doesn't the alarm.
Speaker 2:And that wakes you to fuck up. Wait, wait, wait. When I have set my alarm and I for like, and I have the watch on, I'll be like whoa, what's this? Yeah?
Speaker 1:I want to get rid of my Apple watch. I have an Apple watch because of this phone. I want to get rid of it. I'm trying to break it. So I'm truthfully, I'm trying to break out of the cycle of being in the monopoly of each company. I want to be able to like. That's why I got the Android. This is the new Samsung. It's fucking good. It's like it's dope yeah, really dope. It's really awesome. I also had Android years ago and I loved it me too and I just everyone bullies you into getting an iPhone and then you look at this thing. You're like what is this thing? It's like it doesn't even do anything that this does.
Speaker 2:I mean, I make fun of my friends that have Samson, just to make fun of them.
Speaker 2:But yeah but I had this. I'm gonna tell you the only reason why I had a Samsung. I had it for years and I loved everything about the Samsung. And I don't know, I was at work one morning I was doing something in my trunk. I forgot the phone was right there on the trunk. I went to walk. I was like, oh, and at the time they didn't have that Samsung, but I needed a phone because my phone was just like.
Speaker 2:Samson care, yeah, they, yeah, whatever. I just I just couldn't get another one. And my buddy, who I go to all the time I've gone to him for all my phones. I'm shout out to Mike at night, calm, hey, now. So he was like I got Apple phone. You know, I was like iPhone.
Speaker 1:I was like it's like all right but then you got stuck in the ecosystem. That's what happened, man.
Speaker 2:I get into it and it's like, okay, this is cool they stick your clothes in.
Speaker 1:I message FaceTime.
Speaker 2:Yeah and then. But then I'm gonna tell you what I started. And then it was like, all right, well, what other products do you have with Apple? Oh, you got a iPad, or you have a Mac, you have this and then the watch. Then you know it's like, oh, and it's digging on this, and then I got a message digging on that. I'm like I hate it, dude.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I'm like because I turn that phone, I turn this phone off and I still get messages on my iPad. Yeah, I still get messages on my, on my Mac. So it's like if those I my watch, that's yeah, docked, yeah, and and not even on but you still hear the.
Speaker 2:I disconnected everything from my watch because I Constantly hated the, like I don't know what, but all of a sudden, like my emails come through on my watch. I never did that, so I don't know if it phone, phone calls to phone calls and this is a line. But so I mean I've, I disabled it sometimes where, like, if I don't want to be bothered, I just won't wear it. Man, I mean, I got this for a sole purpose, right, just to monitor the a-fib and whatever else, and that's even obsolete now because the new, the new one takes like blood pressure and all this crap. So you know, and that's the other problem with all this, these these toys, is that they're always evolving, right, so the next phone is always gonna do something that your phone doesn't. I think I have an 11. What are we up to now? 15, 16?.
Speaker 1:So this is the 15 pro. I had a 14 pro, so before this is like the, the new aluminum, uh, mac, whatever, yeah, they make it out of. I even know what they make it out of anymore. Yeah, I don't even care titanium.
Speaker 1:Okay, I tell you, I had a 14 that I was paying monthly for through Verizon and then I decided I said, out of nowhere. I said you know what? I want to get the pro. I want to get the smaller one. I'm tired of these big-ass phones in my pocket, heat in my nut, sack up. Let me just get, said, let me just get, let me get the smaller one. I got the smaller one. The battery life of such dog shit on it.
Speaker 1:I upgraded, got the 15 pro, not the max, hated it, returned it, got the max. And then I'm like Back to the same fucking phone. I just I just bought a phone that I didn't even need, yeah, and then I'm sitting there and then I started having the gripes about needing a second phone. Yeah, I could have just gotten the second phone. Yeah, kept paying the ten bucks a month for the first 14 pro that I was, that I had a deal on, but now I'm paying 60 a month for this fucking thing. I don't even need it circle. So, truthfully, I'm gonna break out of the ecosystem as much as I can. Obviously, mac I like to edit on, I like to do all that stuff. Ipad I don't even know why I have an iPad, I don't even need one.
Speaker 2:I don't need you know what I use my iPad for now, what I run music from my iPad to my my speaker okay, that's why, jim. Yeah, just just for anything, just if I'm out, if I'm away, if I'm at work. I so because I don't like having my phone linked to it, because then, like I've listened to a song, and then Somebody's calling me, the song goes off, like I like to have my, you know, but that's why I use my iPad.
Speaker 1:Expensive. That's an expensive device to it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, just to, let's play some music yeah. I choose, I bring, that's all I use it for. I choose and it's. But it's crazy man.
Speaker 1:It's how they get you, brother, they sing the cause and dude yeah, I mean, and I'm gonna get a Garmin watch for the next one.
Speaker 2:My buddy has that in that and you know what? I was so close to getting that? Because he has, um, it has the feature that, I believe If your heart stops, it alerts 911. Really, yeah, one. I think it says Garmin watch. Yeah, I'm sure it does. Yeah, it's one of his features. Expensive watch too. Well, I mean, I, you know I went Apple because everything else is Apple, but, um, yeah, I'm pretty sure this is Garmin watch that does that. That has that feature. Looking it up, yeah, I believe you, I'm just think gives like your location of the watch, like where you're at like, and alerts, alerts medical person. Now.
Speaker 1:Compatible Garmin watches can notify you when your heart rate goes above or below a specific level. If you're inactive for a minimum of 10 minutes and your heart rate goes above or below your set threshold, you would get an alert on your watch Abnormal heart rate. They call that abnormal heart rate detection alerts, mm-hmm, and I guess then there's a trigger that if it's that long, it'll send out to yeah, yeah, that's really cool.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I mean, but that's old phones, right, because now you know if you you do the your phone, whatever, you know your medical ID and you know, unfortunately I got all that shit on my phone.
Speaker 1:I didn't even know my blood, I mean till I donated. I didn't really, I totally didn't even realize my blood type until I donated.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and they told me and then you could put all that stuff see, but now, like, even even like being in the law enforcement field, right, like that's one of the first things, like you know, you do like if I, if I came in and you were in distress, like I'm pick up your phone, like let me see, let me see what his medical oh, he has this, he has that.
Speaker 1:They train you guys on that, to check for that, or is it not? I mean?
Speaker 2:well, it's common knowledge. Now, you know, with the times I mean, you know that's I mean, and just from my knowledge of what is in my phone, right, like you know, my medical history is in my phone. You know, like you, who to call yeah, who to call yeah, exactly.
Speaker 1:It's Kenji's fat-ass face.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah. Who to call what's wrong with you? Blood type?
Speaker 1:you know a fib no, I'm not an organ donor. Leave me alone. Don't take them.
Speaker 2:Geez, I don't think I am either. No, I, but I was an organ. Make sure that's out.
Speaker 1:Make sure that's off, otherwise they're gonna try to harvest it yeah, yeah, man they be getting, maybe getting mad snippy.
Speaker 2:Get that shit away from me leave my organs. Yeah, man, but, uh, but, but you're, you're correct, man, the phone's man like this. This is this is crazy. I mean it takes away from like just normal, like refreshing, right, like sitting here talking to you for an hour and a half man like Feels like nothing. Yeah, one's like like, yeah, and we didn't even talk about half stuff, we say we're gonna talk about before, like yeah, we just see any talking back next month.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's down the block from my house. Yeah, which ain't we?
Speaker 2:hang out, but it's refreshing man Like you know how how many times do you say and sit, yeah, we sat and we just chopped it up for for an hour and a half.
Speaker 1:Man Just talking like so truthfully when I I've always been a nerd, uh, not even a secret nerd, I've just been an outwardly I'm nerdy. So my cousin got me into magic, the gathering, the card game.
Speaker 2:I was gonna say is that a card game? Okay, yeah.
Speaker 1:And they really sets every couple of months and you build your own commander decks and you have one guy that's your commander and then you build a deck around his strategy and just I mean there's tons and tons of cards. So, like the, the, the possibilities are endless, actually endless. Yeah, and we have a play group that we have about like four to six guys that we get together. We try to get together every weekend and we play. It's some of the most Refreshing time because it doesn't require anything digital in your face. It's just everyone just hanging out playing cards, laughing, fucking with each other this and that and just being present. And although some people may look at that and she's like, oh, it's so nerdy, isn't that? It's like nah, because you, you got to like actually try it to understand it and maybe you don't like the game.
Speaker 1:But then do something different. Maybe play a board game that you like, maybe do a different type of card game. There's tons of trading card games. Yeah, maybe you like pokemon, maybe you like yugioh. Don't look at it as a childlike game. Look at it as a way for us to get away from the grip of digital, digital ism or whatever you want to call it that has its chokehold on us.
Speaker 1:For so long I listen to the book digital minimalism. Anybody that listens to the podcast regularly they're gonna be tired of hearing about it, but I'm gonna keep saying it until y'all go listen to it. Unbelievable book. Cal newport unbelievable book. I bought his other book, deep work, because I was so interested in him as a, as a writer, and how much great useful information he had to say about all the stuff that we deal with with the phones and just in general and stepping away and living a more simple life. That's what it comes down to. Yeah, living a more simple, purposeful, meaningful life.
Speaker 1:Yeah you know I was talking to one of the um, one of the people from rain in the uk. If she listens to the podcast She'll know who she is lover. She's fucking awesome rock star. She's one of the head people out there and she was just talking to me about, like, all the stressors of just like she's walking through her dogs through the forest for her lunch break but she still has to bring the phone with her. She'll have to do that. Leave it at home, yeah, don't, and and don't bring headphones. Be present in nature You'll. It's amazing how, giving your brain that reset of like nothing on, there's so many nights lately that I just don't have the tv on. I just sit in in silence.
Speaker 2:Dude, you know I, speaking of that right like you get into, I get into a realm of Driving home from work, right, I mean stressful job, you know whatever, but driving home, sometimes driving to work, silence, yes, dude, every time I got in my car up until I started having these revelation feelings, like, type of like.
Speaker 1:You need to just control what is going on in your brain. Not only have I gotten rid of a lot of music that I just don't agree with mentally, because it's everything Affects you, even if you're like sitting there. Oh, the beats dope, are you?
Speaker 2:still listening to the lyrics. You go yeah, was he talking about?
Speaker 1:oh, I don't love this. Yeah, like that. The carnival, that Kanye song, yeah, great beat. Yeah, I love the. Oh, you know, that's like the Chan. But then you start getting into the lyrics You're like, oh yeah, I'm good, I just I can't. I can't do it anymore. Like I'm just, I'm good on it, but I would constantly have an audiobook, I'd constantly have a podcast. The second I wake up Listen to it, getting the car audiobooks back on podcasts is back on youtube. Videos play texting people.
Speaker 1:There's a you don't. You don't chill like you really don't chill. We think that this is some of the stuff that we do is chilling. It's not, it's not, and and the unfortunate truth about that is it's just our brain getting racked up even further. You take a week or two weeks of just more lower stimuli, not just doom scrolling, being very intentional reading. Yeah, chilling out like just listening to the surroundings, isn't that? You'll be shocked at how much more Not only mellow you feel, but just rested. Yeah, relax, yeah, you just feel rested. I can't you know. I talked to my mom about this. Every day I go. I can't believe how I'm so chill right now. I'm, normally I'm so I'm even when I'm making the ton of loot, I'm stressed. Yeah, even when I'm not making loot, I'm stressed. All ends of the coin. There's always something that's like racking my brain. I'm stressed about, about lately. I'm not stressed.
Speaker 2:I gotta, I gotta get back to that man, because you know that's such a Like. I just posted something about silence, I ironically, I think, last night, and it's just like Sometimes, like silence is like it's the best thing in the world, man, yeah, and and and again. Like you get to hear stuff, you get to pay attention. You know, like I drive home sometimes and you know I'm working in Brooklyn, I'm driving to Long Island. That's sometimes an hour and a half hour, 45 in a ride, and it's just I don't have anything on man, I'm just, I'm going in my brain, I'm okay, I did this or I did that. You know, tomorrow I did this, I, tomorrow I'm gonna do this, tomorrow I'm gonna do that. Um, you know that's what, that that happened on that day. That was pretty cool. Like, oh, oh, she's doing this, she's going, oh, you know what, maybe I should offer this advice to her, or, or my partner's gonna do that, you know, maybe I should tell him this. Like you know, but no radio, no phone, no, no, anything, man, sometimes it's, you know, that's why I like yoga so much, man.
Speaker 2:I get into that hot room dude. It's like there's nothing to do but just sit there and just kind of meditate and just listen to the instructor and Like my brain is just kind of shut off, like I gotta go to your spot, I gotta try your. Yeah, I bounce around man, because you know, and that that's another thing that evolves right, like back in the day it was just that one type of yoga, but now you have, you know, yeah, yeah, yeah, yin Yin is great man, yin Yin Meditation. But you have the hot, you have the Pilates, you have the Disco inferno, like there's so many sub.
Speaker 2:So there are reasons like 50 is that you Instructor? So listen, like I go through, I cycle between four. I go hot yoga, merrick, hot yoga, car place, my home spot, rvc, um, it's not because like I'm rich and I have, you know, memberships to all these places, it's just like at the time frame where I want to go, who has the regular 60 or 90 minute class that I'm just gonna go and stretch and just be present In that moment. So I got to bounce around, like today I did, uh, I did a 10 o'clock and call place Because there's really no other place that had a regular 60 minute. Yeah, around, you know, they like tomorrow it's different, like tomorrow again, keeps it.
Speaker 1:It also changes it up for you. So it's not the same and not in a shit. Yeah, because that's the other thing you have to.
Speaker 1:You have to get out of the monotonous rhythm, Although it's good to have a schedule and it's really good to yeah man, but if you see the same shit over and over again, or that same, that same root home from work, or you start to actually feel like, oh, like what day is it? I've had that plenty of times, where you look around and you just go. What did I do on monday? Every day feels the same.
Speaker 2:Yeah, see, you know, that's that's, that's the best thing about you know, the unit I'm in from at work now, without getting into it, it's like Every day is every day is different, dude. Like every every day is it like. And I learned something new every day, like it's amazing. Like you know, when I was in my old unit, when I was in the investigations, I pretty much knew what my day could be, right it could be. I gotta go out on this.
Speaker 2:I'm either going out on a rest, I'm going out on a death case, I'm going out on whatever kind of complaint, like it was only maybe five different things I can do, right, or I was just sitting in my desk all day, like now.
Speaker 2:What I do is kind of like no day is the same unless it's a day where we have nothing going on. We're just all in the office and even being in office, right, like one day me and you can be in office and the next day me and him are in office and then me and him are gonna do this workout, but me and you are gonna do this workout. So every day is different and I like that. But it's just got to the point where, like I got it and, like you said, now I think about it like bouncing around. It is good for you. I go to different places, different yoga spots, but I love it, man. The guys on the team, they make fun of me, they call me Mr Hot Yoga, but it's one of those things that helps ground me though, like I, like you know.
Speaker 2:And you need those you need, those in your life. Man listen.
Speaker 1:Without them, it's just, life is tough.
Speaker 2:Even like Jits, like I've been in martial arts for years, like that's what a Thai class for me is right. Like that's my not an angry person I'm not. I can be violent if I need to be, but like it's just good to get, that's just a way to get some things out, man.
Speaker 1:So I told my mom too, when I was talking about just being more calm. She just goes you need that release. Yeah, you really do, and I've. I started there and it's such a different feeling now, a year, almost a year later, than when I started there, because that release of constantly going like I wasn't gonna go tonight. I'm gonna go tonight Like I was. Just I'm obsessed, my ears are changing.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, my ears are changing. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1:But I do that. I just I never thought I always wanted to do Jiu Jitsu. I just never pulled the trigger. I was always afraid of being when I was younger, especially just like going there and being judged like this way. Before I was kind of comfortable with me as a whole, and then that's why I went last year. I just decided to stop doing the bodybuilding shit, do the hit classes. I said, all right, let me try Jiu Jitsu too. Fuck it, why not? And I committed for a year at Sarah's. I said if I don't like it I'll never go again after the year and I'm hooked that's it, comradery, and just the limit is to it.
Speaker 1:That one dude with the story, that's like a one-off, that's like that, and you get that at every gym. I got that in the bodybuilding world, too.
Speaker 2:you get the fucking dicks. That happens, I mean, you know. I mean he wasn't on the flip side of that, but that's Gareth man. I met Gareth. He's like oh you can do some light sparring. And here he comes, a thousand miles an hour. But you know, but that's my boy, but he's the flip side of that.
Speaker 1:I love Gareth, but that dude is different.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, yeah, but it's. You know, you come across those guys good and bad, but you know that's the experience, right, look from that, one time and I met Gareth in a Jitsu class right, I think I told you this like we were, I was in a no-gee and obviously he at that time he might've been a purple and the dude, gileteen, choked me three times in a row. At it I'm like all right, I'm like dude, I'm not the best on the ground, but I know I don't suck like what's going on. And he took time to tell me and start talking to me and then, once I corrected that, then he put me an arm bar. Yeah, but then after that, like we hooked up and then, you know, then I had to get him standing up because I knew I got him standing up.
Speaker 1:you know what.
Speaker 2:I'm saying but then we became good friends. But again it's like, hey, g, you wanna spar? Yeah, yeah, g, we're gonna go light, we're gonna go light. And he's like, oh, it's got punched in the face 10 times and it's like, all right, g, I guess we're not going light, I guess we're gonna go a thousand miles an hour. But you know, he's a rarity, he's one of those guys big heart.
Speaker 1:Big heart man, he's the homeboy.
Speaker 2:But you get guys like that man right and it's always one or two and at the same time.
Speaker 1:listen, man, it's a gym and it's a physical activity with another, especially men. There's not too many females there, but men. And you know, fortunately and unfortunately, we have tests, we have the testosterone flowing through our veins and we have, even though you do tap early and tap often, we still have that ego where sometimes we just go oh, I'm not letting him tap me. No, no shot, no shot. You have to almost bring yourself back to zero and go no, no, no, chill out, chill out.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I know you gotta go soon, I know, I know, I know I don't wanna keep you. Yeah, I gotta go see Scott.
Speaker 1:We're gonna do another episode, if you yeah, whenever you want. Dude, I just love hanging out and just dropping it off.
Speaker 2:Yeah, talking man. It was good to talk, man. I appreciate you, Kaz. You're the man, Always man, Maybe the next day or so we'll post this and then we'll figure out when you come back down.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, truthfully, whenever.
Speaker 2:Yeah, man, I'm happy for you. Man, the Jits man, like you know, following some people's stories is good, though right, because I've watched your evolution right and just the journey of like even your body type man, like you're jacked up, you're ripped up now and you can see in your pictures that you post, like the genuine, like, how happy you are, like you know, like, and that's dope man.
Speaker 2:And then like I said, the alcohol thing. I'm like wow, I'm like I'm like that's even dope, like you know, you got on this like you know, and then you keep it up like soon you're gonna be in the black belt. You know beating up on the white belt, see that.
Speaker 1:Oh no, buddy, Dude, I'm too nice when I roll, man, I tell people, dude, I'll end on this. I roll with people, man, and I know listen, I know I have strength.
Speaker 1:I know I do and a lot of these guys don't have that. So, like even dudes that are more advanced than me, sometimes I can really muscle through shit and they're not able to get me in certain things because I'm able to, like, rely on my strength and not be so technical. But, dude, I put people in some really not great positions and the second they make a noise. I pull off and I go yo, we good, we good, yeah, we're fine. They look at me weird, they're not used to that.
Speaker 1:I go it's cool, I just wanna make sure we're okay. Or if I'm about to roll a certain way and I feel an ankle or I feel a knee in a bad position, I go, yo just move your knee, because I'm gonna roll and I don't wanna fuck. Not everybody's, I don't wanna rip that shit. And they're just like, oh, thanks, and I'm like no problem. And then you roll them, and then they knew it was coming. So now they flip right over on you like fuck man.
Speaker 2:Maybe I should be an asshole. Not everybody's like that, but cool man, always a pleasure, my bro Kaz.
Speaker 1:I appreciate you guys. I hope you guys love the episode. Kaz, I know you've been on a long time ago voice and rizzles type era. There's a good time sitting down.
Speaker 1:But I have to just always give the call to action like share, subscribe If you got something out of this episode. It helps the algorithm with all the bullshit social media stuff, but it does help to have me continue sitting down with amazing people like Kaz on the podcast. I don't even know what episode this is. I wanna just say I think this is like 92. This is episode 92,. Man, I think Jare last week was 91. I just wanna be sure on this, send off me and Kenji. Yes, 92, episode 92 with my man, kaz. I appreciate all of y'all for fucking with us, but on this note, peace.