#72 | Karen Rizzo | The Original Rizzles |

Ever wondered how two people, sharing the same roots, can end up on different life paths, yet maintain a strong bond of friendship? How does a mother and son navigate through life's ups and downs while maintaining their bond? This episode is a heartfelt exploration of our journey as a mother-son duo. We dig deep into our past, touching on teenage memories, early jobs, and the unpredictable world of nightclubs (Ice cream sundae  bar sounds dope).

Our conversation sways from the humorous to the heartbreaking as we dive into the tough topics of loss, coping mechanisms, and life's many challenges. We reflect on the stark realities of homelessness and the plight of veterans - issues close to our hearts. From there, we pivot to our adventures in the world of physical fitness and our ever-evolving passions. 

The episode takes a more introspective turn as we discuss the financial industry, the importance of self-care, and the challenges of parenthood. We reflect on our experiences, exploring the value of discipline, setting personal standards, and the significance of having multiple streams of income. 

It was truly such a pleasure to sit with my mom and get this time to share her world and background with all of you. She will be back for another episode sooner than later.

Transcript

Speaker 2 0:03

Oh, man it's not day before Am I so happy.

Speaker 1 0:05

Well, I was about to.

Speaker 2 0:06

No, don't do that.

Speaker 1 0:08

I'm very happy that I didn't, because people didn't know my mother before.

Speaker 2 0:14

There's certainly no one now.

Speaker 1 0:16

They would certainly know you then and now.

Speaker 2 0:18

Why is that thing hanging from there?

Speaker 1 0:20

Hanging where.

Speaker 2 0:20

That orange thing.

Speaker 1 0:22

That is a counterbalance for the light, because otherwise that fucking thing would topple over and just kill us both. Right now. You know how many times I've looked up at that thing when I'm recording and I just go, man, I am so nervous that that thing could just fall in the middle of the recording. Then it would just go dark.

Speaker 2 0:39

I think I need lipstick.

Speaker 1 0:41

You don't need lipstick.

Speaker 2 0:42

I don't.

Speaker 1 0:42

I mean, I don't know Whoa. Chill with that Chill. Don't be puckering in my microphone. You got the wrong studio for that.

Speaker 2 0:50

All right, I can't have any fun, you can have fun.

Speaker 1 0:54

We're having fun right now. What are you talking about? We're already on. So, I think you're the first guest that I've ever said we're on and given them fair warning, because usually I just ten minutes in. But I can't trust you. You'll say some shit and I'll be like God damn, I gotta edit this. This is going to be nuts. I can't do this, Mother. Yes, dear Mother, dearers, welcome to the studio.

Speaker 2 1:18

Thank you, new-.

Speaker 1 1:19

That you helped graciously set up.

Speaker 2 1:20

I did, yes, I did, it was a lot. It was a lot.

Speaker 1 1:26

I'm very happy with how it's turned out.

Speaker 2 1:29

We broke down the other one.

Speaker 1 1:30

Yeah.

Speaker 2 1:31

That was quite a. Thing.

Speaker 1 1:33

The Movers was the good move.

Speaker 2 1:35

That kid is great.

Speaker 1 1:37

Yeah, the Movers was the good move because otherwise it would have just been far too many problems to have to get people that would you know friends of mine, Tyler gave really breaking shit down for me it could have been me.

Speaker 1 1:51

Yeah, could you imagine us trying to break this thing down? First off, I was very pleased because John Panetti and I put this together and we hammered this shit out of this thing to get into place. I know, in that little office over in Roslyn and the funny thing is everybody thought that that office was huge because of the podcast clips. So they'd see the office on screen and they'd be like, oh, office looks sick, like this is that. And then they'd come through and they'd be like, oh, it's nice, nick, very small.

Speaker 1 2:18

It's like oh, y'all never saw Harry Potter's room. Welcome, welcome.

Speaker 2 2:24

The one under the stairs.

Speaker 1 2:25

Yeah, we filmed the cupboard scenes in my Roslyn office. So you know, like the Jefferson's, we moving on up. That's it Right to the top.

Speaker 2 2:33

Oh good, I love this place.

Speaker 1 2:34

I know I do. I love this and I'm glad we're not boiling now.

Speaker 2 2:38

No, Tyler was a liar.

Speaker 1 2:40

No, he was not a liar. I was stripping on that episode. It was getting bad. If I was just a little bit leaner, the camera would have cut to me in the next clip. I would have just been sitting there without a shirt on. I couldn't, I couldn't do it. I'm like fuck it, I'll just enjoy.

Speaker 2 2:53

No, it's cold in here now tonight.

Speaker 1 2:55

Well, it's because I've had the window open and everything like that. So, anyway, welcome to the studio. I just said it already, but now I really got it started fresh. Welcome to the studio. I appreciate mother for coming down. A lot of you guys know my mom because she's been in stories of mine on Instagram and she's just been yeah, I have to listen to all those episodes to see what you've said about me. Oh, I've said only good things about my mother.

Speaker 2 3:20

I was concerned over like well I kept thinking of was what was his name Bam Bam.

Speaker 1 3:26

Margera, when he used to beat the shit out of his dad. He used to beat the shit out of his dad and just abuse his mom.

Speaker 2 3:31

I said, if not even.

Speaker 1 3:33

No no no no, no tricks, no tricks. No, there's too much expensive shit in here. We can't be doing tricks and stuff like that in here. We got to hang out and just drink our mindset. Shout to Nick, karolakis and Cage and what?

Speaker 2 3:45

are you drinking? I'm going to try that.

Speaker 1 3:47

Element. I love that it got you on the sodium Watermelon. The watermelon and the citrus are the two best flavors. The mango chili is okay.

Speaker 2 3:56

I didn't try that yet.

Speaker 1 3:57

Which one?

Speaker 2 3:58

Mango chili.

Speaker 1 3:58

Mango chili is okay.

Speaker 2 4:00

I like the citrus one.

Speaker 1 4:01

Mango chili tastes exactly how it sounds Mango chili no, no, no, no, no, no. So in water it's kind of like you get a little bite and then what's the other one? They have chocolate. I don't know how I feel about chocolate.

Speaker 2 4:10

Chocolate water.

Speaker 1 4:11

What's the other one?

Speaker 2 4:12

Chocolate water.

Speaker 1 4:14

Yeah, I'm already loving this mic stand that I'm able to like, actually it looks good yeah, then I'm able to actually speak and look at you.

Speaker 2 4:21

It does.

Speaker 1 4:21

It looks good oh let me see, what else do they have See?

Speaker 2 4:23

I spent so much time on hair. Where's Lisa Toccarello when I need her?

Speaker 1 4:27

That's your girl, that's my girl. Shout out to Lisa.

Speaker 2 4:30

Shout out to Lisa but these things, can't we do something about these things? When women come on.

Speaker 1 4:35

No, no, because we used to do no hair. What's?

Speaker 2 4:37

the wound in my hair. Man.

Speaker 1 4:39

But do you see how bad you sound when you start talking over here? All right, I'm going to have no more words. Wow, see how much better you sound. Get with it, lady. Okay, I'm right here. Yeah, get with it.

Speaker 2 4:47

All right.

Speaker 1 4:47

I'm going to do the. I'm going to do the. I'm going to do the chocolate caramel.

Speaker 2 4:52

No no, no, no, no no.

Speaker 1 4:54

Chocolate salt. Grapefruit salt Grapefruit would be pretty good. Citrus, I like the citrus Orange salt. Watermelon, raw, unflavored, all right. So we're just drinking Celtic right there.

Speaker 2 5:07

Yeah, we're just doing salt.

Speaker 1 5:08

Raspberry salt.

Speaker 2 5:10

That could work.

Speaker 1 5:11

Mango chili, no, and then they have a hat at the bottom and that's it, and they have a hat. I did want to start with a little RIP to Kenny from Bevs. Kenny was a good, good, good people at Bevs.

Speaker 2 5:25

Such a big bear going sweet.

Speaker 1 5:27

Yeah, super nice. I mean he hit me up recently. He had just started a podcast with his daughter. He asked me for some tips and you know I wanted to help him out a little bit and I gave him some beginner information and how old was his daughter Couldn't tell you.

Loss and Reminiscing on Teenage Years

Speaker 1 5:40

Kind of private with like that type of stuff, but they did it, you know they I guess not so private where they had a little bit of information, not so private where they had things out there, but private enough where you didn't know the full scoop of everything. But it's tough. It's tough when you start seeing people go and you know that was actually one of the things I had with you because you lost a lot of people when you were younger in your generation, especially to drugs and high school and whatnot.

Speaker 1 6:01

Yes, I did, yeah, I was thinking about that on the way up. It's weird.

Speaker 2 6:04

It's not weird that you mentioned that.

Speaker 1 6:05

Yeah, well, I actually had it in the notes to ask you about that and see what it was like.

Speaker 2 6:10

It was a lot. It was a lot, just a lot. You know, in my high school my high school was seventh grade till 12th grade, so there were a lot of families that you just did not know how old anyone was, because we were all in school together. Yes, you know, if you didn't have a class with someone, you hung out with them. You know, and you know the senior even though it was a senior lounge, it wasn't only seniors we were there. And you know, even in the auditorium or outside in the schoolyard. You know, even on the bleachers, we used to hang out on the bleachers at night. We had nowhere to go.

Speaker 1 6:45

A different world compared to the world we're in now. Totally, I mean, we just wandered around.

Speaker 2 6:49

The amount of walking we did. We used to walk everywhere. I mean Fiorettes. We used to go to the diner, french fries and brown gravy. You know that's what we lived on. Besides that, we used to walk to West Hempstead. Joanne de Bartola was the one who really introduced me to all the West Hempstead guys and you knew a lot of them. Yep Grew up with Charlie.

Speaker 1 7:06

Richie.

Speaker 2 7:08

That's how. And my sister met her husband and there's just so many people are gone. Well, when I was in high school, we lost a lot of them. There was little brothers that passed away from car accidents. They had overdoses of drugs. We had one, three guys one night. That was hard, that was a hard one.

Speaker 1 7:27

What was the drug of choice back then?

Speaker 2 7:29

Well, I don't really know what they were doing. The rumor was it was heroin, but I mean, everything was available then and it was all very different. You know, it was just all different. You know, there wasn't a lot of cocaine. People would smoke pot and, do you know, smoke hash. You don't even hear about hash anymore.

Speaker 1 7:56

I think you hear about hash. I ask Fat D. Fat D is my resident. Fat D is my resident pothead he's the one that tells me everything pot related, because I'm still out of touch.

Speaker 2 8:06

Oh man.

Speaker 1 8:07

I'll never forget when RJ came to my office because he was doing the medicinal marijuana.

Speaker 2 8:12

Yeah.

Speaker 1 8:13

And he came for a meeting because we were shooting some videos for his company. And when he came through for the meeting he just threw an eighth of pot on my desk and I went. What do I do with that?

Speaker 2 8:25

Do I smoke it.

Speaker 1 8:26

Like how do I, you know? Do I have to grind it up? I don't know anything about this. He's like, oh okay, and he tried to walk me through the steps of how to do it. I'm like it's too much work, bro.

Speaker 2 8:36

Yeah, and I was never a drug person. I was always the responsible friend, so I was the driver. I remember my sister caught me driving I was 14 or 13. I was driving a bunch of people from a party because I was the only one that wasn't drinking, but they were all drunk. Everybody was drunk but me, and so I got the keys.

Speaker 1 8:56

So, yeah, so you got the drive, jamie. You got to drive a lot of cars at an underage limit.

Speaker 2 9:01

Yeah, I learned. Yeah, bob Morris told me to drive when I was 13. But, and he's gone too. It's just. It was anyway that one particular night they had a sleepover party and three guys spent I don't want to say their names no, yeah, and three guys spent it together and all I could think about being a mom now. First of all, it was very hard to lose three friends. They were much older than me too, but we all hung out together. One of the issues that goes through my mind is the mom Three boys sleep over party. She goes to wake them up. They were all dead, all three of them. I mean what goes through your mind. You know what I mean.

Speaker 1 9:51

Yeah.

Speaker 2 9:52

I could spend enough losing your son, and now you got to call the parents. There were a lot of reasons why I'd never allowed you to have sleepover parties.

Speaker 1 10:00

Yeah, that's also an Italian family thing.

Speaker 2 10:04

Yeah, they wasn't allowed. They could all come by us. You weren't allowed to go there, and it really was.

Speaker 1 10:10

It's okay, it worked out for the better.

Speaker 2 10:11

Listen, I used to tell you all the time it's not that I don't trust you, it wasn't that. It was really for me. I was a single mom. I had nobody to pivot to, to say go get them or go check up or whatever, and to me it was security. To me I was being very selfish. I used to tell you that all the time I'm being selfish it's not about you, it's about me. If I have you there, I won't sleep.

Speaker 1 10:33

I won't sleep, I'll be up all night, and the few ones that I did have, you didn't sleep.

Speaker 2 10:37

I didn't sleep yeah.

Speaker 1 10:38

Productive, nights Productive. Yeah, I might as well do other things.

Speaker 2 10:42

Exactly On top of the fact that I never minded your friends coming any of them, I mean, I can name a dozen of them and they were all like my kids. I loved all your friends always. They really didn't have any bad, like I really.

Speaker 1 10:57

Nah, they all were court. Listen, you fall. You fall out with people just because of just. I did differences and interest change and then you know you pivot into like, let's say now me with Jiu Jitsu and I'm getting Jiu Jitsu friends and you bodybuilding friends and I've always had groups and you always have because we moved around a lot.

Speaker 2 11:15

So I apologize for that, but that's okay. We did move a lot. So you kind of started always you were kind of dead man out. Every school you went to, everybody had their friends already and you started the following year, you know, I think. I think, um, you go on a holy child was a good thing. When you went to holy child, I liked it there, although I didn't care for the staff. They were, um, you had a fit into their box. We're not box fitters.

Speaker 1 11:45

No, I don't do well like that.

Speaker 2 11:48

I don't either, I never did.

Speaker 1 11:50

I'm a trailblazer, and by trailblazer I mean I don't need anybody else on my trail, I'm cool with just doing my thing.

Speaker 2 11:54

Yeah, and it's, and everybody should be respectful of that. In my eyes, everybody's different. You don't have to wrangle everybody together. They all have to be the same. It's boring if everyone's the same.

Speaker 1 12:04

Oh, I mean, you're just an android at that point.

Speaker 2 12:06

Yeah, I mean, what is that?

Speaker 1 12:08

Well, that's, that seems to be the societal uh push as of late. They want drones, they don't want, uh people that are able to think logically and on their own and freely.

Speaker 2 12:18

Right, I understand, and it's a sad situation.

Speaker 1 12:21

My growing up was just worlds different than your growing up, Rally behind rally behind the nation Wow.

Speaker 2 12:29

I mean, you know, we used to get up, go out, do our chores. You know, go out. We had to be home by six thirty. That's when my dad had dinner. My mom had dinner on the table. We had to be home when my dad had dinner. That was it. You had to be home. So we were out all day riding our bikes. We used to ride to Elmont, we used to ride to Wistam's Dad. We ride on the. I forget Linda and I who, by the way, I wound up seeing again after thirty years of not seeing her, and it was like her and Debbie, who also has my last name, and we were we're not related. I actually um, it was so good to see the two of them. Two weekends ago I think it was on a Sunday I went to meet them and it's like no time passed.

Speaker 1 13:16

Yeah.

Speaker 2 13:17

You know your friends when that happens, you know those are real friends. In fact, I took her name as my confirmation name. My confirmation name is Linda, because she was my best, she was great and we were laughing about stuff. It was it's it's. You know, just going back and remembering that stuff we used to I go. If my son ever did that stuff, I would have killed him. I would have. I mean, we didn't get into trouble, we would just there was nothing to do, so you wandered.

Speaker 1 13:49

Nothing to do and there were no cameras. Exactly we didn't have phones. Yeah, no, we pay phones and deal with that.

Speaker 2 13:56

Yeah, they were a quarter. I think Cigarettes were fifty-five cents.

Speaker 1 14:01

Fifty-five cents for a pack. Uh-huh Damn.

Speaker 2 14:04

Yeah, Now they're fifteen dollars, I think Fourteen change, something like that. Yeah, Fifty-five cents for a pack of cigarettes. And we used to go into the bar One of our friends, Kevin, his father on the bar on Hempstead Turnpike and we used to go in there and go to the machine real fast because he'd go. You're not allowed to. You know, we go, just get in cigarettes, just get in cigarettes.

Speaker 1 14:25

We're allowed to bar, but what was the gas back then?

Speaker 2 14:29

Oh, I don't remember, I don't remember.

Speaker 1 14:33

I remember my first car. But I can look that up. I'm sure they have historical data of what gas was what year.

Speaker 2 14:39

Seventies In the seventies. What's seventy? I was thirteen, maybe I don't know seventy-four, five, something like that.

Speaker 1 14:50

Yeah, let's see, here we go.

Speaker 2 14:52

I mean, just think about it thirteen years old and wandering around 1974,.

Speaker 1 14:54

what do you think it was per gallon?

Speaker 2 14:57

Oh, I don't even have a clue.

Speaker 1 14:59

Just give me a rough guess. National average gas price $50.80. You ready? Two Ready. How much? Fifty-three cents.

Speaker 2 15:12

Just like cigarettes.

Speaker 1 15:15

Gas and cigarettes Cheap.

Speaker 2 15:18

I don't know how much joints were. I don't know because I never bought them.

Speaker 1 15:21

They must have been pretty cheap Well you used to get paid in drugs when you worked at the clubs which we're going to get into.

Speaker 2 15:26

Yes, I did.

Speaker 1 15:28

Then you'd have to barter it off and get paid, so you were a secondhand dealer.

Speaker 2 15:30

What's the bartender? You had to change it out. He had a scale behind the bar.

Speaker 1 15:38

There you go. They just gave me that.

Speaker 2 15:40

No, at the end of the night you got a cash out at the end of the night.

Speaker 1 15:44

Yeah, give me my money.

Speaker 2 15:45

I don't want this shit. That was John. I loved him. He was great.

Speaker 1 15:49

So now we're talking about school, and what was it like growing up with grandma and grandpa and Angela as your sister.

Speaker 2 15:56

Well.

Speaker 1 15:57

I never had a sibling, only child. Hey now.

Speaker 2 15:59

Yeah, I know, I wanted more kids, nah, but didn't work out that way.

Speaker 1 16:04

Nah, I wouldn't be good on sharing.

Speaker 2 16:05

You weren't good at sharing, nah I don't share.

Speaker 1 16:07

Mom, you weren't good at sharing Ever no don't touch my things Ever.

Speaker 2 16:11

Remember the lady in the daycare.

Speaker 1 16:14

Yeah, yeah, what I do, I took Sergio Sergio, yeah, he took my blocks, or some shit like that.

Speaker 2 16:19

Don't touch my blocks, man. No, you were very upset and you cursed in Italian. Grandpa was so proud of you.

Speaker 1 16:25

Yeah, I mean listen.

Speaker 2 16:27

The woman called me up in the bed Sergio Sergio touch my shit. She goes. Your son has such a temper. She said he would Sergio wanted to play with him and he was had not having any of it. And then he said something in another language put his foot down, he was kicking, he was just oh, I had to put him in the corner. I went, oh, I said what did he say? And I said it. I'm not going to say it, don't say it, I'm not going to say it.

Speaker 2 16:52

I go what did he-, did he sound like this? So she says, yeah, I go well. I said, yeah, that's Italian. I said, yeah, you know. I said don't take it personally, because I believe it has something to do with your sister's crotch. Just- just don't take it personally.

Speaker 1 17:07

Hey, listen, I don't know if you have a sister. Everybody can get the smoke. Don't don't tempt me, don't touch my don't touch my blocks and don't tell me what to do.

Speaker 2 17:14

And I went home and said to my father daddy Nicholas is cursing in Italian you would you were like this big. How old were you? You were like three, I don't even know. You were so small, God. And I said to my father I go, stop teaching him. He goes. He says to me he goes, I'm not I'm not teaching him, I'm not teaching him anything, I go. Well, he said this and I said it, and he goes. Oh yeah, he said it. Good, then I said it with the whole- with the whole dialect and everything.

Speaker 1 17:40

God. That also just goes to show you that, as Italians, this is the fiery rage is just built into the bones it is, it's coated right in.

Speaker 2 17:49

It is.

Speaker 1 17:50

And it comes out and we just have to have that grandparent to just give us the programming of like hey, it's there. Just this is maybe this maybe is what you want to say when you start getting that rage. Thanks, grandpa.

Speaker 2 18:00

Well, you know, I'm a single parent as you know since but we were going we were going to what it was like in family. Well, family, my parents, with me not having you yet, grandma, grandpa Angela back then.

Speaker 1 18:13

What was it? Like you know I went out a lot.

Speaker 2 18:15

I went and stayed at people's fr my friends' houses, and I was out a lot and my sister was always very artistic. So she artistic, not autistic.

Speaker 1 18:24

Yeah, right on my god.

Speaker 2 18:25

Artistic Like why'd you pause? Like that Artistic Up with you. And she's very creative. So I had a lot of fun with Angela. We used to have drawing contests. She was very much into bird watching, so we'd go watch birds.

Speaker 1 18:38

Bird watching.

Speaker 2 18:39

wow, yeah, we'd figure out which birds were, which these were wild in the 70s, we were little.

Speaker 2 18:43

You know. I mean, go listen, my parents were workers. So my mom always she always worked. You know, she was a lunch lady at the school. We didn't get away with much. She was she worked at Boci's. She worked very hard. My mom and my dad worked hard. My father was a jeweler, as you know, and he always worked. He worked in the city first. He worked at fortune-offs for many, many years in the repair area. But my father just did his job and he did it well. They loved him and he, you know, worked hard Home by 6.30. Yeah, Dinners on the table. I mean, that's how it was.

Speaker 1 19:19

Old school.

Speaker 2 19:19

Yeah, you know, it was a routine and everybody, I don't know.

Speaker 1 19:24

Everybody played their part. Is what you think you're looking to say.

Speaker 2 19:26

Yeah yeah, you know, my sister and I would watch TV together. We would have fun. We drive my mother crazy rolling marbles in a bowl. We used to have a metal bowl and we used to roll the marbles in there. My mother used to go crazy. We had something called the cyclo teacher, which was my favorite. There was this big learning thing that you put like a like a wheel, and you put this thing and it asks you questions and then you have to pick the answer. I used to have fun with that. We used to test each other. We just did. There was a lot of stuff to do, you know.

Speaker 1 19:58

Yeah.

Speaker 2 19:59

My sister was into Barbie dolls. I didn't do the Barbie doll thing. I actually liked matchbox cars.

Speaker 1 20:07

Yeah, you were the tomboy.

Speaker 2 20:08

I always liked cars. I just like them. They're pretty.

Speaker 1 20:11

They're pretty.

Speaker 2 20:12

They are.

Speaker 1 20:13

They're pretty it depends on which one.

Speaker 2 20:14

Right, I like my pink Cadillac.

Speaker 1 20:16

I tell you what a Celica is not pretty.

Speaker 2 20:18

The Cadillac was very cool. I wonder if I still have that. I might Mary Kaycar. No, wasn't Mary Kay back then. It was like a Barbie thing.

Speaker 1 20:27

Oh, okay.

Speaker 2 20:28

Barbie was always pink, as the movies showed. That just came out, which I won't even go to see, but that's another whole subject. So, anyway, my parents were always really good. My mom was the one with the rules and the regulations. My father, my father never hit us, never. He'd get mad and he would chase us around and hit the furniture with his belt. That was it Threaten. My mother.

Speaker 1 20:51

However, you had to watch because she would fling stuff. She get a heel. That's it. It's over High heels.

Speaker 2 20:57

Boink right in your head.

Speaker 1 20:59

Yeah, but it made you walk a straight line.

Speaker 2 21:00

Well, she was usually on the phone when we would act up. You ask her, ask Nana, yeah, we would start acting up when she was on the phone and then it was.

Speaker 1 21:08

You know she'd get annoyed and and so now, coming from that type of a parenting and then obviously you weren't ever nasty with me, but you put me in line when I would step out- Well, I want to tell you something and now thinking about the softer parenting that's going on nowadays. You've had a, you've seen a blend of my parents were not strict.

Speaker 2 21:31

They weren't. My parents were strict, but they weren't strict. They were more strict with Angela, and Angela used to listen. I didn't listen and, of course, now that you're 32, I can say that to you.

Speaker 1 21:42

Wow, crazy. I would never tell you that when you were younger, but I didn't, I didn't listen.

Speaker 2 21:46

My mother would say you have to be home at that and I would go okay, well, you know we didn't have phones, so somehow I was a little later, you know. But you know you talk about. We were on the subject of losing friends and that has been sort of like a little pattern throughout, I guess.

Speaker 1 22:07

Well, I'm sure anybody listening is going to say the same. There's been a pattern.

Speaker 2 22:11

Yeah, it's unfortunate it is that you lose people. But I will tell you, sometimes it was better for them, sometimes it just was. Yeah, if they had an addiction and whatnot releasing them type of situation. Some people were sick. I remember one of the guys that we went to high school with. He had an aneurysm and everybody was so shocked.

Speaker 1 22:35

But young to have an aneurysm.

Speaker 2 22:37

Yeah, it was. He was a football player or something and everybody was so like taken aback by it. But when it came down to it he would have suffered had he lived. It was that kind of thing. So sometimes listen when it's your time, it's your time.

Speaker 1 22:56

Yeah.

Speaker 2 22:58

You know, you just got to got to keep going.

Speaker 1 23:00

Yeah, you just got to enjoy every single day and get the most out of it and have fun.

Speaker 2 23:04

Right and you can say that, but it's not. It's not easy to do.

Speaker 1 23:07

Not no.

Speaker 2 23:09

You know it really isn't, but what I was going to say to you was I didn't come from a very strict home. I came from rules and my parents were very tolerant.

Speaker 1 23:19

Correct.

Speaker 2 23:20

As long as they knew what I was doing and what was going on. There was quite a few times I read. My sister will always joke and say you know? Dad would always say you know, my nickname was Karen. What the hell is going on Like that's what because my friends would cause turmoil and I would be in the middle of it, either helping or trying to figure it out or covering for them or whatever. So just that's crazy, because that's why I was very strict with you, by the way.

Speaker 1 23:53

That's what I was going to say. How.

Speaker 2 23:55

I was very.

Speaker 1 23:56

When was when? When was my curfew?

Speaker 2 24:00

How, until you? What was it? You were 25, 24, it was still one o'clock.

Speaker 1 24:05

Yeah.

Speaker 2 24:06

Only if you had somewhere to go, if you were at a party or something.

Speaker 1 24:09

Which I really wasn't at Right. I was either working or going to jail, but there was no wandering yeah.

Speaker 2 24:14

You're not allowed to wander. Nothing good happens after midnight.

Speaker 1 24:17

Is that a tip? Give a tip to the, to the, to the youngins. Give a tip.

Speaker 2 24:20

Really, there's nothing good that happens after midnight. There is there. Really isn't. There isn't. You could have just as much fun in the afternoon as you can at night. Of course you don't know.

Speaker 1 24:31

See all of it. Oh, chill Afternoon delight. All right, I didn't mean that.

Speaker 2 24:39

Oh, I was, I was, I was. I'm only talking about young kids.

Speaker 1 24:41

I don't know what you're talking about.

Speaker 2 24:42

I'm just saying Well, you know, getting younger doing that, so whatever. But yeah, I was very strict with you and the reason was because I was witness to so much.

Speaker 1 24:53

The atrocities when you're not.

Speaker 2 24:54

Yes.

Speaker 1 24:56

Yep, it's tough. It's tough being a parent. It's tough being a dog owner. You know, you just want to. He's right next to me. It's just, you know you never. You never know if you're making the right choice that's going to benefit. Sometimes you have to just go with the. Sometimes you have to go with the lesser of some. You know two evils, but you have to be able to make the decisions of what's going to benefit my child, I would assume. Yes, but that's what I do with the dog.

Speaker 2 25:21

But it's also the same, like I always drove you and your friends where they had to go, the one time which I'm not going to get into the details the one time I didn't and I was sick, you went to the Broadway mall. Do you remember that?

Speaker 1 25:36

With some movies, that when I broke my hand, no, no.

Speaker 2 25:42

What we get into a fight there? No, the other parent came to pick you up, was intoxicated.

Speaker 1 25:48

Oh, that's right. Oh, that's right. The one time. That's right. I forgot about that the one time Swerving.

Speaker 2 25:57

I'll never forget that. Yeah, the one time I didn't do it, yep, like mad, again Got it here.

Speaker 1 26:07

Yeah, when you hear some shit like that, it's tough. Yes, and that goes back to not allowing sleepovers, not allowing me to stay at certain people's houses, because you know how you run your house and you run it tight and you make sure that everybody's good, even when you have visitors over and other places the only thing that. Other places are like the fucking Roman Coliseum. That was Kathleen's house. The Roman Coliseum, yeah, go ahead.

Speaker 2 26:33

say it when we lost you?

Speaker 1 26:34

Yeah, couldn't find me for hours. That was so bad. Slept over there. Couldn't find me for hours. Where's Nick? Where's Nick?

Speaker 2 26:40

Couldn't find me Well. What happened was?

Speaker 1 26:41

She's, like Nick's, here. The next morning you called.

Speaker 2 26:44

That's what I called. So we went to the party. You used to get a little freaked out after a while because there were so many kids, there was a lot of kids and you used to do your own thing and you were used to being alone. She knows the story. I hope she listens to this because Kathleen, that was a night boy. So the windup is this was up in Huntington Harbor I was living in.

Speaker 1 27:07

I think it was 110. It was Melville.

Speaker 2 27:09

Yeah, it was Melville.

Speaker 1 27:11

About that time.

Speaker 2 27:12

So anyway. So you say to me, mom, I think they asked me to stay, could I stay? And I'm like, but it's Kathleen, you know. So I'm saying to myself you know, they're like your cousins, you know, and I love the whole family. So I said, kaz, it all right, she goes. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, it's fine. Well, look, everybody's here. She goes, it's fine, I go okay. So I'm driving home it must have been like one o'clock in the morning. I'm driving home and I'm going. Oh, I'm not gonna sleep. I know I'm not gonna sleep. I got home, got in bed laying there.

Speaker 1 27:46

I need you to elevate that voice. Karen, You're whispering and everything you're saying. You gotta bring that volume up.

Speaker 2 27:51

I go home. I get up in the next morning and I call and Kathleen answers and I go hey, kat, how'd everything go? Are the kids good? She goes, yeah, yeah, everybody's fine. I said, okay, I'm gonna be up in a little while, I'm gonna come up. I said, is Nick there? And she says, just like this. She goes, nick and silence. And I say, kat, nick stayed with you last night. So she goes oh, we'll find him. I go, wait a second, you'll find him. I said what was the last time you saw him? So she goes oh, I'm sure he's here. Now I hear her. She's yelling down to the basement where all the boys were.

Speaker 1 28:36

How many kids did she have? Just to give context?

Speaker 2 28:38

At that point. I don't think Paige was here. No.

Speaker 1 28:43

Dawson Connor.

Speaker 2 28:44

Yeah, mike, teddy Riley no six.

Speaker 1 28:47

Riley six, six, and then they had other friends there too, and other people were there.

Speaker 2 28:51

Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 28:52

That's a fucking Brady Bunch.

Speaker 2 28:53

I know I love them though. They're the best, Of course, the best Anyway. So I'm already getting my clothes on. I got like one foot in my jeans. I'm trying to get my clothes on as I'm getting dressed. I'm going Kathleen, please, please, find him. And she's yelling Nicky, Nicky, Nicky. She's screaming all over the house.

Speaker 1 29:11

Do you know where?

Speaker 2 29:11

he is. No, no, nobody knows where he is. I'm now in total panic.

Speaker 1 29:16

So now I go. You're thinking of that drop that they had off the back of their house.

Speaker 2 29:18

They lived on a cliff.

Speaker 1 29:20

Yeah, and.

Early Jobs and Memories

Speaker 2 29:20

I'm going. Oh my God, did you? She goes. Well, they were playing hide and seek, that's all she had to say. They were playing hide and seek. Oh my God, he's in the ditch. I'm flipping out, I'm driving up there like a lunatic. You know what you are, you know.

Speaker 1 29:36

I think so yeah.

Speaker 2 29:37

You're with the girls? Yeah, he was in Riley's room. It was quiet in there. Yes, that's what you said. You're fucking loud. You were sleeping on the floor right next to the bed. Yeah, too loud.

Speaker 1 29:46

Nah, too much. Nah, I like my privacy.

Speaker 2 29:49

I like my quiet Three floors.

Speaker 1 29:51

Yeah, three floors and then the basement. No, no, it was two floors and the basement.

Speaker 2 29:54

Two floors in the basement and you were on the second floor, so who heard?

Speaker 1 29:57

Yeah, I was out.

Speaker 2 29:59

My heart stopped, but then, when I found out where you were, I went. Oh, that makes sense.

Speaker 1 30:04

Yeah, single parent woes, single parent woes. Let's back it up. Let's back it up. Let's go to jobs, because you've had quite a few, especially back in the day. So when you started the ability to, where did you start? What did you start doing just to get your feet wet and get some career experience? We're talking like I want to feel. First jobs, because I know Angela used to work at White Castle.

Speaker 2 30:26

My sister worked at White Castle and stunk of onions all the time. That's smell, and well, my first job was at Pat's Farms, which was the produce place on Hemsett Turnpike, and I used to get into stuff with the father, the little old man who was an Italian guy. He used to curse at me and Italian, he used to scream at me because he was getting it from all angles.

Speaker 1 30:52

He was getting it from the.

Speaker 2 30:53

Yeah, because.

Speaker 1 30:55

Because later you're getting it from your son.

Speaker 2 30:58

Everybody curses at Italian to me.

Speaker 1 31:00

I grew up in Sicily, jesus.

Speaker 2 31:01

I used to be at the cashier and people would come up with, you know, there was like 14 different kinds of apples. I was 14. And I would bring them all up to the same and he'd be screaming at me they different, they different. I'd go they're apples. I think I lasted a month at that job, to be honest. But my favorite first job was I worked at a shoe store which was not like a regular shoe store. It was like a upscale kind of a thing.

Speaker 1 31:30

Oh, Pinky's Out Fancy.

Speaker 2 31:31

Yeah, it was fancy and it was called Heart and Soul, and the two guys that owned the place were major hippies Hair down to here. I mean, they were like real hippies and one of the guys' wives actually she was a writer for Penthouse.

Speaker 1 31:51

Oh shit.

Speaker 2 31:51

Yeah. So they were an interesting group. Me and Joanne walked in there, my best friend at the time. We walked in that store we were like, wow, goody, two shoes. You know they had like four inch fronts on them, wood, they were wood bottoms and like six, seven inches in the back. And these are the shoes we used to wear to school. All you heard us was clunking down the hall in high school Clunk, clunk, clunk.

Speaker 1 32:14

Clodd's Dales in a barn, exactly.

Speaker 2 32:17

If you had a class on the second floor. Wow, is that a problem?

Speaker 1 32:21

I'd be the old guy downstairs trash. Keep it down. Yeah, bang it on top of the broom.

Speaker 2 32:27

So we walked in there and Matt, one of the owners, he looked at the two of us and he said he goes, you know, because we came in looking for a job, so he goes, I only need one of you. So you know, we looked at each other and I'm like I want to work here. So she, she, Joanne, says she goes, well, split it, you come Monday, Wednesday, Friday, I'll come. The other days I was like I want to associate Right. I was like okay, and he agreed. So that's what we did. But I was there when she worked because I didn't want to not be around her, and she was there when I worked.

Speaker 2 33:04

So we were both there every single day, and sometimes they couldn't pay us so they would let us take shoes. So I had so many pairs of shoes. I wish I would have kept them, because they're like arts now.

Speaker 1 33:14

Oh, I'm sure they would go for a little something, something now.

Speaker 2 33:16

Oh my gosh, you can't imagine how many pairs of shoes we had and all the girls from high school used to come in. Yeah, we had a good time, that was a great job. And then next door they had a clothing store with another guy, one of my, one of my friends, my old friends actually worked there, but yeah, we didn't ever get involved with them on that side, but we were, we were the shoe people. So we it was right across the street from Clines, which is now, I think, I think it's national liquidators still, god, yeah.

Speaker 1 33:47

Yeah, old Hempstead.

Speaker 2 33:49

Yeah, hempstead had some really cool stores. We had Denny's Depot, which was a head shop, and right by it was like in the heart of Hempstead. We used to love going to that store. My sister used to buy all this fancy stuff there, you know, like real hippie stuff. We had fun.

Speaker 1 34:08

Our hippie, our hippie auntie and sister. Yes, as our photographer, Our photo and art design.

Speaker 2 34:16

Yeah.

Speaker 1 34:17

And so what else? What else did you do Like? You know you didn't stop there.

Speaker 2 34:21

No, I had so many jobs I'm trying to think I mean after Heart and Soul. I worked as a waitress, not in the clubs, I was too young still but when I started dating, what was it like working as a?

Speaker 1 34:34

waitress.

Speaker 2 34:36

Well, I worked in a steak place. Actually, it's, it's Testa Rosa now.

Speaker 1 34:40

Oh really, right over here. Yeah, what was the fuck over here?

Speaker 2 34:43

That's what I had. To Damn, I know.

Speaker 1 34:46

From Hempstead to Syosid 17, yeah, 17. Well, syosid bumping back then. What was it like?

Speaker 2 34:51

around here.

Speaker 1 34:51

No, wasn't really anything going on.

Speaker 2 34:53

No Restaurants, stores, same as what it is now. It wasn't really any, but yeah, I worked. It was steak loft was the name of it. It was one of the people that own all the other places now, you know, like stuff on 110.

Speaker 1 35:11

Not Scotto.

Speaker 2 35:12

Yeah.

Speaker 1 35:13

It was them that was like their first one in the family. Yeah, Interesting.

Speaker 2 35:16

I worked for them way back. They were very nice.

Speaker 1 35:20

I wouldn't think they wouldn't be.

Speaker 2 35:21

No, no, no, they were very nice, but it was a very small situation at the time. They didn't have all those places.

Speaker 1 35:26

Yeah, so I worked there for a while. So when she started dividing- and conquering.

Speaker 2 35:30

But then I got tired of it. You know, I just got tired of it and I worked at a place in Roosevelt Field. Now, Roosevelt Field did not have a second floor.

Speaker 1 35:39

And it was before they put the blimp in.

Speaker 2 35:41

It was before. It was just one lane, it was just one side. There wasn't a whole second side or upstairs, it was just one thing, and the security was dogs oh, they had actual canines. Oh shit, they had dogs and when we used to do inventory we used to have to call the guard to get the dogs so we could leave.

Speaker 1 36:04

Oh yeah, because otherwise they think you're stealing and they and they go. They were they were.

Speaker 2 36:09

I'm telling you, they were killer dogs, they were just wild dogs, yeah.

Speaker 1 36:14

So now, did that really detract the crime?

Speaker 2 36:18

at night? No, not at all.

Speaker 1 36:18

They still would steal.

Speaker 2 36:20

Oh yeah, because they'd come in the back. You know, we were on a, that was the front, that was, like you know.

Speaker 1 36:26

So they would just walk around the middle of the store, the middle lane.

Speaker 2 36:30

It wasn't even a middle lane, it was one strip of double stores, like we would look at stores, that's what I'm saying To each other, the middle of you guys, the the dogs.

Speaker 1 36:39

Yeah, so I'm saying so. It's just like a ravine of dogs and great white sharks. They built a moat.

Speaker 2 36:46

Yeah.

Speaker 1 36:47

That probably would have been more effective. A moat.

Speaker 2 36:49

Yeah, I'm trying to think of the name of that store because I I actually just told my sister about that the other day and we were at Roosevelt Field on Sunday and I said to her A lot different than than what it was.

Speaker 1 36:59

It's cold, I can't remember.

Speaker 2 37:04

I, it was on. It's on the tip of my tongue. I'll think of it.

Speaker 1 37:06

I'll just shout it out in the middle of it yeah, you're like, oh my God.

Speaker 2 37:09

I am. So I worked there. I love that. I love that one, that. That job was fantastic. I had a great time there. But then I you know school and everything and I graduated a year early from high school.

Speaker 1 37:23

And why did you do that?

Speaker 2 37:25

I, all my friends were older than me and most of my friends were older than me. I had some friends that were in my grade, but most of them were a year or two older than me, and my girlfriend, kathy. She was a year older than me and graduated a year early, so she was already gone and I was with her class then. So they my father was totally against it. I'll never forget it. I was so angry. We had to sit down in front of the principal and the principal says well, you know you're going to miss a really good year because you know you're going to go to your prom and I had already been to everybody's proms.

Speaker 2 38:01

I went to proms from the time I was in seventh grade. I went to my sister's prom, so one of her friends, the girlfriend I don't know, dropped out. They broke up. Whatever. I had to go borrow a dress from a friend of mine, fran, in Elmont, because they that morning of the prom the guy didn't have a date. So my sister asked me. I said, sure, I'll go got it down. We went, it was.

Speaker 1 38:24

I mean that's just the way it was Overhyped dance. I'm good on it, bro.

Speaker 2 38:27

Yeah, and I didn't really care.

Speaker 1 38:28

My prom sucked.

Speaker 2 38:30

Like I said, a lot of my friends were older and I just wanted out, so I had to take two gyms, gym classes, which was trying.

Speaker 1 38:36

I was like me in summer school. And took two gym classes because I just didn't go.

Speaker 2 38:42

That was actually good training for you.

Speaker 1 38:44

It was I let go and I lost all the weight and two.

Speaker 2 38:46

English classes and one of the classes, mr Chabelli, I loved him. He was actually. He actually knew my sister. She had him for English also and he said to me, because I hated English class, it was like, oh really gotta read all this stuff. And he said he goes, look, I know you're really good with the art artwork, he said, because my sister and I took a lot of art classes. So I said you know what I'll do. You give me what you want to give me to read and instead of me writing a report, I'll make a poster. And he said fine.

Speaker 1 39:25

You'll make a poster as in an art project.

Speaker 2 39:27

Yeah, Okay, so that's what I did the whole year, and he had all of my posters up all over the classroom.

Speaker 1 39:34

Nice and.

Speaker 2 39:35

I got an A.

Speaker 1 39:36

Yeah, my teachers would have told me to go scratch.

Speaker 2 39:39

Well, your teachers I had a fight with. Oh God Made it that guy.

Speaker 1 39:43

Oh that's one of them. Yeah, the dude that put his hands on me. Yeah, that's one of them.

Speaker 2 39:47

Yeah, that went over the yeah we got.

Speaker 1 39:48

we could Karen, we could have sued, we could have been millionaires. What's going on with this?

Speaker 2 39:52

He hurt somebody, to let that hollowing here, right? Yeah, he's a jerk off.

Speaker 1 39:55

Yeah, he's a jerk off.

Speaker 2 39:57

Oh my God, he's a jerk off. He says to me you don't mind if I give your son a present. I said you want to allow it to talk to my son.

Speaker 1 40:04

Oh, I remember that and he gave me that awkward he like, brought me to the class. It was a resistance band, did he say. He made it.

Speaker 2 40:10

Yeah.

Speaker 1 40:11

Bro, it says hoist right on the side of it son.

Speaker 2 40:13

I was like, yeah, listen, pal, you're not allowed to talk to my son, especially alone.

Speaker 1 40:19

For context for people that are listening. Basically, the shortened version of that is my buddy and I at the time got to school early. We got dropped off early. We were laughing our ass. I forget what we were laughing about. It was three of us. You were with Jay, yeah, me and Jay. We were laughing our asses off and just joking around about something and then one of the security guards came in and she like started they always busted our chops because we were always the ones in trouble. So she goes hey, you too, what are you doing here so early? And we start laughing. We're like, oh, stop it. Like we're just going to stop it. And she's going you guys better not cause any problems right now. We're just like whatever you know like we're laughing with her and she's laughing back.

Club Management and High School Memories

Speaker 1 40:54

And so we go back to our conversation and I don't remember how it transpired exactly, but I remember he just like walked up to the table very cartoon like and like stood there and stared at us. And then Jay and I just turned and look and I go hi, can we help you? Like what's going on? And he goes you think you're really fucking tough, don't you? And I go uh, no, but why are you, why are you speaking to me like this grown human, like what the fuck is going on here? And then he just he's like, he's like I got. I got girls in my sixth grade karate class that could beat the shit out of you and I went, okay, didn't ask, great bro. And that's when he like grabbed me by my shirt, collar, yeah, and I went and I just went, I went yeah, and I just went.

Speaker 1 41:37

uh, you're going to have to let go of me. Before I beat the fuck out of you, I'm just letting you know that Like I don't care what you think you know, but like you're an old, was it disheveled, decrepit old man, I will break your hip. Like it's just not, it's not going to. It's not going to end well for you, man. I don't care how much training you think you have.

Speaker 2 41:53

Yeah, he was not having it.

Speaker 1 41:56

He taught the special, and then he shoved you around. I remember, and that's when the principal no, it was only one, it was, it was like that one. And then he walked away and then Soto started acting up. He broke the window, oh right. Then everybody was like whiling out, they were just, it was an excuse for them to act out, so and that was. That was really it. But it's just, you know you know, principal was great.

Speaker 2 42:13

I loved him.

Speaker 1 42:14

Yeah, Mr Murray. Mr Murray is the homie. Mr Murray was always the homie.

Speaker 2 42:17

So homie coming.

Speaker 1 42:18

Yeah, of course they always did it, mr Santa, they always. Yeah, these are the only people I remember from high school and Ms Ninavaji who thought I said poon tang in class. That was fucking awesome. Like what? He's a stupid asshole. I said I want to watch the movie pootie tang and she just goes. You think you could just say whatever you want in my place, get the fuck out of my. I got that phone for her, okay, and I went down to Mr Santa's.

Speaker 1 42:44

Mr Santa was the assistant principal and I went down to Mr Santa and he's like Nick, what are you doing here? And I just went. I don't know. Mr Ninavaji thinks I said poon tang in her class and I said I want to watch the movie pootie tang and he goes. Oh Jesus, he goes. Nick, just go play handball, go do something and then be back by the time the period ends because she's going to come down. And I said, all right, cool, did it, played handball, came back and I sat there. I was all sweaty. She was like why are you sweating? I don't know what are you talking about?

Speaker 2 43:11

Yeah, I got that phone call yeah.

Speaker 1 43:13

I'm good on that. I just wasn't. You know me, I wasn't a school kid. I just didn't. I didn't like. I didn't like once again being told how I should think and perceive the world, and I-.

Speaker 2 43:24

All you had to do was what they asked you to do.

Speaker 1 43:25

No, fuck them. Puppet masters. I don't play that game. Leave me alone.

Speaker 2 43:29

I know I got a lot of phone calls Leave me alone.

Speaker 1 43:31

I want to do what I want to do and I get that. You know you have to go through and you know, do the curriculum and everything and all this bullshit, when realistically none of it mattered. None of it mattered.

Speaker 2 43:41

Well, it does give you a well rounded-. No, it doesn't it doesn't.

Speaker 1 43:45

I've never had to use any of the information that I was presented in high school, especially in today. Whatever, maybe okay. I think the most important was probably English and grammar, because it taught me the foundations of how to speak properly. How to write, I still don't, but how to I speak? I speak good and shit, Like I speak okay and stuff. Yeah, it's you know. I think it gave me the basis for what I needed to know, and I mean snoring, my God, I would say all the math, hypotenuse, isosceles, triangles, dog shit. It's crazy.

Speaker 2 44:24

Never, when have I ever sat there and been like Okay, I want to tell you, though, the one thing when have I ever sat there and been like this? The one thing, though that triangle is like 90 degrees. That they have gotten rid of. That really they should have kept was kids should know how to write in script.

Speaker 1 44:37

Why.

Speaker 2 44:37

Because they should.

Speaker 1 44:38

Why.

Speaker 2 44:40

Because you have to have a you have to have a signature.

Speaker 1 44:41

Oh yeah, why? Because when the revolution starts You're such a what is this?

Speaker 2 44:46

You're a-.

Speaker 1 44:48

You're really off. Oh what, when Ben hits me up and says the war is on, I got to write back with my quill the hell out of here. Oh my God, what year did you say you were in high school? That doors that way. Get out of here, get out. I like writing in script. Yeah, you and only you. Nobody else likes writing.

Speaker 2 45:07

Everybody does. No, they don't they don't know.

Speaker 1 45:10

It's like trying to read hieroglyphs in an Egyptian pyramid.

Speaker 2 45:14

What about Roman numerals? Are they doing that anymore either? No, what do I need to know?

Speaker 1 45:17

that for.

Speaker 2 45:18

Of course it's on things.

Speaker 1 45:19

Here we go. Look, here's the time, there you go. What are those numbers above it?

Speaker 2 45:23

Oh, that's why weren't you?

Speaker 1 45:24

just listening to Elon Musk. That's the date. Yeah, but I was listening to Elon Musk. When did he ever say that? Oh yeah, Roman numerals are coming back.

Speaker 2 45:31

No, but they're just coming out with stuff. Oh well, the JI, they're just eliminating.

Speaker 1 45:34

Yeah, well, they're just rewriting history.

Speaker 2 45:36

Yeah, elimination.

Speaker 1 45:37

Yeah, I don't see any point to any of that. If I had a nice Mavado or Cartier watch, maybe, so I could tell the time, but that's about it. What else I'm waiting? I don't know. I'm not going to go there. What else? What else do you want to talk about? Oh, okay, certain subject. Okay, grandpa, that's awesome.

Speaker 2 45:55

My father was so good at that.

Speaker 1 45:56

What a transition.

Speaker 2 45:58

Salvizo.

Speaker 1 45:59

All right. Well, we're on jobs, and I think your most interesting jobs was when you worked in the clubs as a manager.

Speaker 2 46:06

Well, I started off with a boyfriend whose brother owned an iClub and if you're going to hang out with the family, you sort of have to be with the family and work. Wink yeah, sort of.

Speaker 1 46:19

They went away to college. No, they did.

Speaker 2 46:21

They were all really good. Oh, none of them went to college. None of them went, Okay. So it's not that I know of.

Speaker 1 46:25

Some of y'all will get that reference.

Speaker 2 46:30

Anyway.

Speaker 1 46:31

Henry Hill anybody. He didn't come to the club.

Speaker 2 46:35

No Other people did, but anyways, so yeah. So I waitress there for quite a while and made a lot of money.

Speaker 1 46:46

I'm sure.

Speaker 2 46:47

Yeah, it was a lot of money and it was a very respectful place. It wasn't actually like a sloppy, you know, I mean.

Speaker 1 46:52

Well, like every club nowadays.

Speaker 2 46:54

Yeah, no, nobody touched you. You weren't allowed, they weren't, they'd get their arm broken and thrown. Oh, yeah, yeah, so that nobody ever did anything wrong. So after they well, after we broke up and they sold the place to other people, I stayed, I was asked to stay and then I managed some of the girls, the waitress staff, and then there was like other areas, like the coat room, and they had a Sunday bar and Sunday bar. Made Sundays.

Speaker 1 47:29

Ice cream Sundays in the club.

Speaker 2 47:30

Yeah, we served food.

Speaker 1 47:32

Wait a minute. Okay, I've never heard of this. Ice cream bar. Sprinkles hot fudge it's a supper club.

Speaker 2 47:38

It was, it was yeah.

Speaker 1 47:39

A supper club. A supper club.

Speaker 2 47:41

Yeah, people actually sat. There was. There was an area of tables up on one side and then down on the dance floor. If there was a show like, we would have shows like Tavares, or there were bands that played.

Speaker 1 47:53

I'm just thinking about Tyler and I going to a club like that and like people just bumping and grinding on the on the on the dance floor and him and I just face deep in an ice cream fudge Sunday. Yes, that's right. Just looking at the club, like it's true you probably go down there, but this fudge is sensational you gotta realize it was a lot of drugs.

Speaker 2 48:09

Oh Jesus, People got hungry. Oh, there you go, that's why they had the ice cream bar, so we had yeah.

Speaker 1 48:15

If it was nowadays, they'd have a mac and cheese bar. So would you like the Buffalo chicken mac and cheese or the regular Gouda?

Speaker 2 48:21

No, we had a really good menu too. We did Good food.

Speaker 1 48:23

And the food was good. Yeah, it wasn't crappy food. And where was this club Out East? Or was it around here?

Speaker 2 48:29

That one was in Franklin Square.

Speaker 1 48:30

Okay, so you managed out East as well.

Speaker 2 48:33

Yeah, I did, that was that was actually. I worked out East at a place called Le Mans like the car.

Speaker 1 48:44

Very fancy.

Speaker 2 48:45

Very fancy. It's now a well it used to be. It turned into a store and then a Pier 1.

Speaker 1 48:55

Oh I know what you're talking about the split in the road. Yeah, right next to the diner South Hampton Diner yes, Well, it was called the Silver Lining Diner. Yes, and that is your company.

Speaker 2 49:04

That is my company. No, I didn't own the diner, but my company name is Silver Lining, so anyway, so I worked out East and that. And I wasn't supposed to work out East because I was working at the club in Franklin Square and I was away on vacation with my sister. We went to the Hamptons and I was walking down the street and my sister said you know, you're always working, you really needed to take the weekend off. And I was like, oh well, we're here, you know, we're having a good time Walking down the street in East Hampton and one of my friends, who was the manager of the nightclub out there, she starts yelling Rizzo, she's screaming. And I go turn around. There she is. And I went oh my God, how are you? My sister goes, you're not working, you're not working, you're not going to work. She goes. I lost one of my girls. She goes. I promise I'll put you in the best spot.

Speaker 1 49:56

So I I could make a couple. I could probably make a couple shcods.

Speaker 2 49:58

So I said to her well, how much can you make? So then she told me, and I said Ang, I'll see you later.

Speaker 1 50:05

What was it? What was it Roughly? You have to give it an exact number. It was probably around 2000 a weekend 2000 a weekend and back then that's big money. It was like 10 grand yeah.

Speaker 2 50:16

You know that was like ridiculous. It's just for Friday night and Saturday night.

Speaker 1 50:20

What year?

Speaker 2 50:22

Oh God, let me think, find out when Le Mans was open, and that was the year.

Speaker 1 50:28

I mean, what was it? 20, not 20, Jesus, Was it the 80s? Yeah, Okay, so I'm just gonna say 1985. No 83.

Speaker 2 50:36

No no 80?. Yeah, earlier, because I was still not really of age to be.

Speaker 1 50:43

Here we go, inflation calculator. Thank you, US government. Yeah, it was a lot $2,000 in 1980 is equivalent in purchasing power to about $7,500 today, an increase of $5,500 over 43 years.

Speaker 2 51:02

I'm telling you, I made all of my.

Speaker 1 51:04

The dollar had an average inflation rate of 3.11% per year between 1980 and today, producing a cumulative price increase of 273.53%.

Speaker 2 51:15

There, you go.

Working at Nightclubs, Handling Challenges

Speaker 1 51:15

Thanks guys, thank you Y'all doing a crackerjack job. Yeah, totally. And so what was that like when you went to that club for the first time? Oh, I loved it. Did you mesh with everybody, like okay was that really cool?

Speaker 2 51:26

Oh yeah, nah, everybody was cool. Actually it was the best.

Speaker 1 51:27

Why are you telling the story? I gotta give Ken G's pill.

Speaker 2 51:29

I wanna tell you something. It was the best nightclub I ever worked at, because you used to show up and the bar staff already set up your areas. You didn't have to do anything. You go in, you waitress still all night. The club closed at four. It was four o'clock in the morning, right, we closed at four and then we banked out and then the bar staff would clean up and that was like seriously, you guys are cleaning up after me. I usually have to wash floors. But yeah, it was great. Sorry, I know you were just sleeping. Ah, puppy, Do you need treats? I have treats. No, it's okay. So that was actually a really good experience. I liked working with her and she was great. Unfortunately, if I heard that she had passed away another friend of mine that went early breast cancer I hate that we have a source spot for that with Marina.

Speaker 2 52:22

Yeah, with Marina marinara, yeah, marinara, so yeah, so it's unfortunate. I've lost a lot of friends there and actually one of my very best friends when I worked out there. Another you know not to keep bringing up bad stories but she died in a clean crash.

Speaker 1 52:41

Stevie Ray Vaughan style.

Speaker 2 52:43

It was. She was going on vacation and the plane crashed. I lost her then. She was a good friend of mine, diane.

Speaker 1 52:52

Tough, I loved her.

Speaker 2 52:54

She was a lot of fun, we had a great time together, her and I. But again, it was just, you know. I mean nightclubs were tough, they were, they were. It was tough jobs. I had a lot of burn holes, you know. You used to be able to smoke in the club. I had a lot of burn holes, burn marks on my legs and arms, because people just talk in and drunk and rubber, Rowan, shade, the ashen yeah.

Speaker 1 53:13

And then you know you have the actual, you have the actual assholes yeah, I don't have tolerance for for drunks.

Speaker 2 53:19

I just don't. I don't have the tolerance for it To me is time to go. That's what I mean when I say at one point, you know, working those hours and then going to college. After I graduated high school, going to college, I worked nightclubs to pay for college. So doing all of that it was exhausting. It's like you know, I started looking like Dracula. I actually have pictures of myself and I look at them and go, oh my God, did I have sea sun? I really look like Dracula.

Speaker 2 53:46

You look like a pig Really, yeah. So anyway, long story short, I worked there and then they hired me to manage a nightclub up in Glen Cove and I worked there and that was. That was good. We opened that place. That was fun. I had four owners, though that was tough, four guys who like things done their way.

Speaker 1 54:06

Yeah, who told you to do it this way? Oh, no, no, no, do it this way. Who told you to do it that way?

Speaker 2 54:11

And unfortunately, some of them had daughters that were younger, little younger than me, and somehow the bouncers all started dating the daughters and then it became this whole.

Speaker 1 54:20

And they were under the impression that they were in charge.

Speaker 2 54:23

Yeah, and then the bouncers got out of hand and we had a couple of bouncers that were really arrogant assholes. We really did.

Speaker 1 54:29

It was one guy, a lot of bouncers.

Speaker 2 54:31

Well, there was a one guy that really always, always ready for a fight, and you thought, you kind of always thought you'd kind of like got along with him, but and then he's like spiff off somewhere and you'd be like where, where is he, you know, like doing stupid shit somewhere. But yeah, they were big drinkers, the ball, the, the, the bouncers up there. That was a bad thing. I used to say to him don't let the bouncers drink. What were you letting them drink? They're going to start fights. You're kidding, yeah. So, and we had food up there too. Oh good, yeah.

Speaker 1 55:05

And what was the final straw at the clubs for you?

Speaker 2 55:07

I got hit in the face.

Speaker 1 55:08

Can you break down that story, cause it's a pretty crazy story.

Speaker 2 55:11

It's just stupid, it's just like a dumb thing. I'm talking about the bouncers. They were so busy, they were in front of the place.

Speaker 1 55:17

The girls in the bar.

Speaker 2 55:19

One of the waitresses come over to me and says there's a guy sitting on the bar and he, he, just he cleared the whole bar and shut us down. All the glass went in the ice machine.

Speaker 2 55:29

And so now we can't how are we going to show us we can't serve a drink? So now I didn't know glass from ice, so I can't get a bouncer. Other places may have packed and everybody's jumping around and screaming. We had a really good DJ, actually, we had a great DJ there, we did. And I just walked up to the guy and I and I said, could you get down? And he, you know he's like, well, who are you? I said, well, I'm the manager and I don't really want to. I don't want to scream and I don't want to call anybody over, cause they will not be as nice as I am. And he goes, oh yeah, and he starts cursing and being an asshole. So I go like this and I'm trying to call the bouncer over and I turn around and he punches me in the face.

Speaker 1 56:07

Yep Out cold.

Speaker 2 56:09

Yeah, I hit the back of the.

Speaker 2 56:12

It was the bar and then there was a wall and I went back into the wall and I fell. But I never saw that guy again. They just he was gone, never saw him again. But again it was just too much and I said you know what? You don't pay me enough, not, enough of this, not. I need a bouncer by my side at all times, and if you guys can't do that, then I'm out.

Speaker 2 56:34

I got four owners, all men, wandering around, coming on. You know to the well, I have to be honest with you, they weren't womanizers, they were tough guys, but they used to try to keep everybody in line. I mean, we had a fight one night in one of the ladies' rooms where they were throwing the girls were throwing glasses at each other and the whole place is mirrors. I'm like, oh my God, are you kidding me? I'm like, oh, I hear his crash, crash. I'm like, where is that coming from? You know, as awful as this sounds, I know it's going to sound bad and I know I'm trying to be politically correct here, let me think, if I'm even going to say it, probably not.

Speaker 1 57:14

Don't make me edit a podcast, yeah.

Speaker 2 57:16

I know, I was just thinking that. Anyway, there's a certain, there's a certain situation when you own a place like that, which is you have to know your audience, you have to know your audience. That's everything in life, though, and you have to know who you're allowing to come in when there's certain elements already there, like there were certain things where I go seriously. Just you know, like the waitress, one of the waitresses, her boyfriend was like this, he would start a fight If a guy talked to her and I'd go.

Speaker 2 57:57

She's working, she's working and I don't have time for you, so chill. So she'd be working to and some guy God forbid, someone did this to her. Oh thanks, hon, give her a pat. He's fighting with the guy, don't let him in. So that was the rule then. Sorry.

Speaker 1 58:13

Don't let him in. You're not allowed. You have to understand exactly what you just said. You have to understand the audience. You have to understand what's going to mix well, what isn't. And it's like you know, you're going to put cats and dogs together and that's it.

Speaker 2 58:24

Towards the end. When I left there it was like a war zone.

Speaker 1 58:27

And then, especially, you're adding alcohol and drugs. Oh yeah, and then you're going to the Sunday bar. I swear to God, if anybody eats the rest of this rocky road, it's on site. I will fuck everybody up in this place.

Speaker 2 58:39

I'm telling you, Bernadette, my friend Bernadette from high school, used to work the Sunday bar.

Speaker 1 58:46

That's awesome. She was so cute. That's where I would be. She was to be hung up. I would have been 900 pounds.

Speaker 2 58:49

She'd be hanging over the bar. She'd be hanging over the Sunday bar trying to see everybody dancing, and I'd go get back there.

Speaker 1 58:56

That would have been like oh bomb pain for me when I was eating all the liquor.

Speaker 2 58:59

And I actually gave another friend a job, Adrienne. She worked there too as the coat room. She worked at the coat check. She was very good.

Speaker 1 59:06

So now you promptly exit the clubs. Oh yeah, I had to get out of there.

Speaker 2 59:10

Now, what do you decide? Hotel, oh, no, no, no, no. Clubs were over and I worked in the garment center. That's what I went to school for.

Speaker 1 59:20

Okay so you're going into the city now, yeah, going into the city. What was it like commuting into the city.

Speaker 2 59:27

Back then it wasn't bad, but it wasn't great. I believe the mayor was I'm not whispering. I believe the mayor was Dinkins and it was like it is now.

Speaker 1 59:47

That's what it was like A shithole, okay, yeah.

Speaker 2 59:49

Times Square. You didn't even want to.

Speaker 1 59:51

I don't want to go to the city in general anymore. You didn't even want to walk there.

Speaker 2 59:55

You really couldn't even walk there. And when I left the garment center and worked at the Hyatt when they opened up the Hyatt Hotel I used to have I used to work the grave shift, sometimes a lot and I didn't mind that. But I used to have to walk from Penn Station to Grand Central and I used to cut through Bryant Park and those days Bryant Park was heroin addicts.

Speaker 1 1:00:24

Not awesome. They were homeless. Also, they've upgraded it. Actually Now it's the entire city, so it's not just Bryant Park now.

Speaker 2 1:00:33

I know.

Speaker 1 1:00:33

They've upgraded it. It's really bad. In positive news, though, bryant Park has the Winter Wonderland spot open. Still not enough to get me to go to the city, but hey, fuck it.

Speaker 2 1:00:43

No, there are areas of the city right now that you could actually go to. There's a lot of like downtown. There are a lot of young people at some of the like. They go to the hotel bars and stuff the rooftops. It's just different now it is. It's just different now it's the hassle to do things.

Speaker 1 1:00:59

That's my issue. It's a hassle. You either got to get an Uber, you got to take the train. There's always everyone's fiery.

Speaker 2 1:01:05

See, we didn't even care about that. We used to drive anyway. I mean when I used to drive out to the Hamptons sometimes.

Speaker 1 1:01:10

Yeah, but you guys used to have people that would be drunk driving and they'd get the cops would sit with them and have a cup of coffee with them. It's not the same nowadays. You fuck your whole life up. You have one ticket now, it's true. It's not like that anymore. It's true, but driving to the Hamptons Let me tell you something.

Speaker 2 1:01:26

Driving out to the Hamptons, when I think about it, sometimes I say to myself what was I thinking? I would get out of school, I'd get out of my job waitressing at the Franklin Square nightclub I'm not going to say any names and then I would get home four o'clock in the morning, get my stuff and drive. Now I've been up 24 hours. I would drive to the Hamptons and there were no lights on the road back then.

Speaker 1 1:01:52

There still aren't any, barely any lights out in the road you get off.

Speaker 2 1:01:55

well, sunrise nothing.

Speaker 1 1:01:57

Yeah.

Speaker 2 1:01:58

Nothing all the way out. And I would say to I mean, I think about it now what I say to myself if you ever got stuck, you didn't have a phone, there's no lights and you are just an abduction dream. You're just there. You are in the middle of nowhere.

Speaker 1 1:02:14

Be like deadliest catch. You have to set a flare off.

Changing World, Nightclub Stories

Speaker 2 1:02:16

Yeah, I mean there were farms, then that would you know. I mean I'm acting like I'm 90 years old, but there is a big difference between oh it's. Things have changed very drastically in the next amount of years? Yeah, drastic, drastic.

Speaker 1 1:02:30

Let's just say 50 years. Think about how different the world was in 50 years ago, just for 50 years.

Speaker 2 1:02:36

It is. It's very different now. It really is. But I mean, we, you know, listen, when my sister was dating Charlie and we used to go into the city, we used to go to a place called Roxy. See, your kids don't have any of this stuff. I wish you did. No, roxy was a roller skating rink that we had a DJ.

Speaker 1 1:02:51

You know why? Because Roxy nowadays would be $50 for an entry fee.

Speaker 2 1:02:55

Yeah, I know.

Speaker 1 1:02:56

And the skates would be in an additional $20 just to just to even, just to even break, break into the scene to have some fun for an hour or so.

Speaker 2 1:03:05

And then there was an after hours club we used to go to and think about, think about in my position.

Speaker 2 1:03:10

That was. In fact, I met the guys from Kiss there. The guy, the actual, gene Simmons, no, the other one, what's his name? Lead singer. I'm not a Kiss fan, star Child, yeah, I'm a star. Anyway, he actually was there and passed me. I was going to laser him. He was passing me and of course I always think that everybody I notice. You know what happens with me. I see someone famous and I'm like oh, I wonder what year they graduated. They look very familiar.

Speaker 1 1:03:36

Oh, you think they know from high school. You're a weirdo, I didn't know.

Speaker 2 1:03:41

I didn't know who it was until Star.

Speaker 1 1:03:43

Child.

Speaker 2 1:03:44

Well, he didn't have any makeup on.

Speaker 1 1:03:45

I would never recognize him without makeup.

Speaker 2 1:03:47

Yeah, he had none of his makeup on what does? He look like without makeup, I don't know Anyway.

Speaker 1 1:03:50

I asked him. Why do you ask him? Because you passed him in the bathroom.

Speaker 2 1:03:52

Well, Charlie told me who it was. I said that guy looks so familiar to me. He goes. Yeah, of course he does. I forget his name. I thought I was a Kiss man.

Speaker 1 1:04:01

I'm a Led Zeppelin fan I got you Hold on. Oh, he looks the same without the makeup.

Speaker 2 1:04:07

That's him. Yeah, paul Stanley. Yep, right Anyway. So he passed me and I went wow, he looks. He looks so familiar, he's got a little black hair. I'm saying to myself, go go to Hong An with such and such. I just can't say names. So I I go to Charlie and I go who's that guy? I said he looks very familiar to me. So he goes what are you an idiot? I go what? He goes, it's Paul Stanley from Kiss. I went no, it's not. He goes yeah, it really is. I go well, I'm not a big Kiss man, so why would I think he looked familiar?

Speaker 1 1:04:35

It's just one of the guys in the back that was doing drugs in the charger.

Speaker 2 1:04:40

Oh, we passed over that little information, yeah, so anyway, when I was working in the nightclub oh, we're backtracking real quick, so we're going to backtrack real fast. I used to get a lot of tips in cocaine. They'd used to give me a little envelope and some money, but mostly, mostly, mostly, mostly cocaine. So at the end of the night I would go up to the bartender and I'd go I need you to cash me out. He'd go, okay, He'd pick up the scale and he'd stick it on the box.

Speaker 2 1:05:11

There's nobody there now, Everybody's gone except the bus boys and me, and you put it on the bar and he'd weigh everything out. And then he you know I'm going to round it up. He'd say to me I'm going to round it up. I go, yeah, you better round it up. So he'd give me the money. In fact I used to watch somebody's house that was in a rock and roll band for a friend of mine. She used to work for me in the coat room at the club up in Glencove. A boyfriend was a well known at the time.

Speaker 1 1:05:37

Rockstar.

Speaker 2 1:05:38

Who was very friendly with John Bon Jovi. Actually, he actually came to the house one night, but he was not John Bon Jovi then, he was just John. So I used to watch their house and there was drugs everywhere and he had a. There were drugs everywhere and he would say to me he'd go, we're going to go on tour and when I get back he goes, make sure everything's good. And I'd go okay, make sure everything's good.

Speaker 1 1:06:02

And make sure the drugs are still there. That's why he liked you. You didn't steal the drugs. Oh, not even a tiny even bit Didn't take a gram, half a gram.

Speaker 2 1:06:09

Nothing, and that was exactly the way it was when he got back and he'd go to me. You are the only person that I would ever leave my house with. I'd go. Why he goes? Because everything's still here.

Speaker 1 1:06:20

You're not stealing drugs.

Speaker 2 1:06:22

Yeah, he had a ferret as a pet and the ferret used to like.

Speaker 1 1:06:28

I feel like ferrets stink.

Speaker 2 1:06:30

Well, there's a story behind that that I'm not going to get into because that was pretty gross. But yeah, he infected the house, but not while I was at that time. Yeah, he infected worms and everything.

Speaker 1 1:06:41

Yeah, I can't.

Speaker 2 1:06:42

So anyway, and he also had a boa constrictor, big one like 14 feet. No, I'm good on that In its own room, yeah no, I'm good on that.

Speaker 1 1:06:50

On a tree. All it has to do is realize that there are vents and that's it.

Speaker 2 1:06:55

So that was my. That was the X, that was the only X. I used to say to him I go listen, I'll watch the house for you while you're away. Because it was great I worked in Siasit. The house was in Cold Spring. I was like, cool, I'm right here. By work, I don't have to drive all the way from West Hamster to Franklin.

Speaker 1 1:07:08

Square. I could chill here for the night and then go.

Speaker 2 1:07:11

It was great. I just go to work. I was down the block, so that's when I worked for New York Life.

Speaker 1 1:07:16

Another job, so um, yeah, I've had a lot of jobs. I've had a lot of these hats. You're going to knock all my tiles out in the ceiling.

Speaker 2 1:07:22

I know it's crazy, isn't it? I've had a lot of jobs. Mostly I left because people gave me the creeps. Yeah, creepy. The New York life thing was really creepy. My manager was really creepy, not my direct manager, the general manager of the place. He was disgusting and a womanizing piece of crap, but anyway. So yeah, tell him he's.

Speaker 1 1:07:42

He has since passed which, which I was very happy to hear by the way, that he wasn't doing that to anyone else.

Speaker 2 1:07:48

So, um, yes, let's not even get into that story, we're not. Yeah, no, I don't even want to cause that.

Speaker 1 1:07:56

You're the only you're the only one in the room that's thinking about getting into it.

Speaker 2 1:07:58

You're, we're not, so anyway. So what was I saying? So watching?

Speaker 1 1:08:02

the large snake and it was perfect.

Speaker 2 1:08:04

I used to say to him all the time I'd go listen, I'll watch the house, but that has to stay. How long are you going to be away, cause it might be dead when you get home? I am not feeding it.

Speaker 1 1:08:13

What he used to feed it.

Speaker 2 1:08:14

Um rats, right yeah, big rats and throw them in the room and close the door and I'd go. How do you know? He's not like hanging over the door and you open the door but for some reason he was okay with the snake, like the snake was all right with him, but anybody else and I I sleeping there, I'd be like I wonder if he got into the, like the the vents yeah.

Speaker 1 1:08:36

So I said yeah the vents.

Speaker 2 1:08:37

I don't think he could have. He was like really big.

Speaker 1 1:08:39

I'm good.

Speaker 2 1:08:40

You had snakes.

Speaker 1 1:08:41

I did, but it was a little guy, yeah, but you know what?

Speaker 2 1:08:43

That was one thing, nikki, I gotta be honest with you. That was one thing, like people say well, come on, give us the dirt on the kid. You know like what do you? What did he drive you crazy over? It was, you know it started with the frogs.

Speaker 1 1:08:54

Oh the frogs.

Speaker 2 1:08:55

I didn't mean to kill them, I didn't do it.

Speaker 1 1:08:58

Go ahead and tell the story to the masses. Go ahead, tell them how you killed my little frogs and their little tank. I didn't mean to yeah, but you did, but you did.

Speaker 2 1:09:05

Okay, it was a very blonde move, so I was cleaning the house. Murderer, that's what you did you called me a murderer.

Speaker 1 1:09:11

I think you were six. You fucking murdered them.

Speaker 2 1:09:14

I didn't mean to, it doesn't matter. Anyway, they were in a bowl and it was little, teeny, little, tiny little frogs.

Speaker 1 1:09:21

Don't get that, Mike. Don't talk aside of it.

Speaker 2 1:09:23

They were a little teeny, too close. They were a little teeny. They were little teeny frogs. They were very cute there was a bunch of them.

Speaker 1 1:09:31

Did I have them when they were tadpoles and they grew up to frogs?

Speaker 2 1:09:34

No.

Speaker 1 1:09:34

Okay, they were just the frogs. I remember them. Their bowls stunk. It was brutal.

Speaker 2 1:09:40

So I was going to clean everything and I put them on the kitchen. We were in West Hamstead at the time. That was my house in West Hamstead. I put them on the window sill and I was washing the floor and cleaning everything and I thought it was nice because they could stay outside.

Speaker 1 1:09:58

Nice, yeah, I could wait for them to just.

Speaker 2 1:10:02

Then the sun came and cooked them.

Speaker 1 1:10:05

They cooked them right in their own bowl.

Speaker 2 1:10:06

They were gray. Oh my God. When I went up there and saw them I went oh, I think he's going to flip out and I went to the pet store and thought I was going to replace them.

Speaker 1 1:10:17

They didn't have any, they were all out of kermits.

Speaker 2 1:10:19

They were all out of frogs. I was screwed.

Speaker 1 1:10:24

And what happened when I arrived home.

Speaker 2 1:10:26

You put your hands in your face and started screaming. You were like this you murdered my pets, you murdered the frogs.

Speaker 1 1:10:35

Just a life of stress. Oh my God, you threw my Furby. It started talking Chinese.

Speaker 2 1:10:42

It did, it started talking Chinese.

Speaker 1 1:10:44

Furby Remember when we moved Another murderer, yeah.

Speaker 2 1:10:48

We had two Furbies and we put them in the box and the mover started moving things and something started talking yeah.

Speaker 1 1:10:52

Okay listen. They do. Whoa yeah. The mover said we had bodies in the boxes, the mover goes.

Speaker 2 1:11:00

hang on, hang on. There's something talking in one of these boxes. Feed me, Feed me.

Speaker 1 1:11:06

I said it's his toys.

Speaker 2 1:11:06

Don't worry about it. He goes, are you sure? Well, it's not a person, yeah.

Speaker 1 1:11:10

It's a little person. It's not a person. It's not a person. We had a wee man in the back. It's awesome. It's been an interesting ride. It has been yeah it has been. What did you have to deal with as the graveyard shift manager at the Hyatt?

Speaker 2 1:11:30

That was good. I can't tell you that story. I'm filtering, let's just say, in that business, when there is anything that happens that is like tragic or an issue, usually they're paying off the news, not to announce it.

Speaker 1 1:11:58

You're saying that corporations pay the news channels to not talk about things. No, why would they do that?

Homelessness, Veterans, and Buying a House

Speaker 2 1:12:09

Yeah, a lot of money. Wow, we're just really having our eyes open all of a sudden. We were really good about having cash in the vault.

Speaker 1 1:12:15

Oh, yeah, I will tell you one thing, though Listen to this one you were the greasy palm.

Speaker 2 1:12:20

Yeah, I was in the front desk. Hey listen, it was my job Anyway, and I never knew where it went. Anyway, it was put envelope, put this there and do that, fine, okay, anyhow, the windup is that, with all that stuff that was going on in the hotels at the time, the one bad thing that I hated about that job was the homeless would come and take baths in the fountain in the front of the hotel. Then I'd have to call somebody to come and get them out, because they would not get out. Then there'd be a thick layer of film and dirt and oil.

Speaker 1 1:13:01

It's tough because in one aspect, you feel for them. I felt terrible for them. Yeah, you feel for them and you tried giving money to one of them and they chased you she chased me and she hit me. That's the last time Karen tried to take me. Yeah, now you're on your own bitch, okay, okay.

Speaker 2 1:13:15

You tried to feed her and gave you money? Yeah, and she was rude.

Speaker 1 1:13:19

Tough.

Speaker 2 1:13:19

Wow yeah.

Speaker 1 1:13:20

We're brutal.

Speaker 2 1:13:22

You're a little bit of a money, you bitch. You're screaming at me. I'm like I'm just trying to be nice and she's like don't be nice to me, okay, sick Tipping.

Speaker 1 1:13:30

Thank you, I'll keep it. I'm out, I'm out of here, just going, yeah, I tried.

Speaker 2 1:13:36

That was Brian Park, by the way. Oh, shocker, that was Brian Park. Walking through Brian Park, I always saw the same woman. I felt so bad for her because she had no shoes and she had like Duck tape. No, she had like rags Okay.

Speaker 2 1:13:53

Rags tied around her feet and then knotted on top and I felt so bad for her. So I was like, let me give you money. And at the time I was like 20 bucks, that's a lot. So I said I was going to give her $20. And I actually was giving her food and she chased me and he didn't even be in the back. I was like, hey, don't touch me. Yeah, oh, my God, yeah, she flipped me out.

Speaker 1 1:14:11

Yeah, that was the last time.

Speaker 2 1:14:12

That was it.

Speaker 1 1:14:13

Sorry people, I made up for her with the homeless guy in Hawaii that I gave food to.

Speaker 2 1:14:18

Yes, that was very nice. I appreciate it.

Speaker 1 1:14:21

I don't know if he was in another world.

Speaker 2 1:14:23

But he appreciated it. He said thank you.

Speaker 1 1:14:25

Yeah, he could barely mumble. Thank you, he was really not doing good. It was very sad.

Speaker 2 1:14:30

It was very sad. You've seen that. It was awful. Yeah, I got him waters.

Speaker 1 1:14:33

To be honest with you, I wish I got him more. I wish I bought him some more waters, or maybe some like medicine or something from the convenience store. It's tough.

Speaker 2 1:14:40

They don't want medicine, they don't know what to do with it, they're mentally not together. Well, some of them yes.

Speaker 1 1:14:44

Some of them, no, it depends on the situation. And then, of course, I feel for the homeless veterans, because we have so many veterans in our family, yes, and we have so many people that we know that serve stall. You know, buddy Zach. We have a lot of people that have served. So that's a sort of as this podcast grows. That's the cause that I want to give back to and I want to have a more of a role and integrated part in helping is the veterans, because the fact that we can make room for people to come into the country, I know, don't say it.

Speaker 1 1:15:16

I'm not political. I'm cool with immigrants. I really am. We wouldn't be here if it wasn't for immigration. We would not be here. But the fact that we can bring people into this country, give them top shelf treatment. And our veterans are out on the street fending for themselves mental health problems, ptsd from being over there in war, handicapped, mauled and maimed, from having grenades blown up in their faces and this and that no services to help them.

Speaker 1 1:15:41

But the new people that just got here they get penthouse suites. They get all this bullshit. But whether the stories are true or not, just the fact that they would even get a hotel room and hot meals is bullshit. I know we have people in this country that served put their lives on the line and they're on the street or even worse.

Speaker 2 1:15:57

Or they were adult homes.

Speaker 1 1:15:59

They're home and sick and pacing in their home and they don't know what to do with themselves. So that's a sore subject for me. So I want to do, I want to give back at some point for that cause, because that is tough.

Speaker 2 1:16:10

And the puppies too.

Speaker 1 1:16:11

Oh yeah, they're the puppies that serve.

Speaker 2 1:16:13

Yeah, I know, pause a war, I always give them. That's a friend of mine, chris actually does a lot for them. He does a golf outing every year.

Speaker 1 1:16:23

I have to go this year, next year, next year.

Speaker 2 1:16:25

Yeah, but no, I understand. But, anyway, so that was one of the things they used to bathe in the they don't want me.

Speaker 1 1:16:34

The police would come, the fire, the fire fighters. The police would say the police would come. They say the fire fighters are responsible for this and the fire fighters are responsible for this.

Speaker 2 1:16:41

And then they would call and they'd know me.

Speaker 2 1:16:42

Like modern day politicians, they would call and they'd go yes, they go. Karen, you know you got to call the fire fighter. I go, no, they're not going to come. Well, we're not coming either. I'd be like, oh, someone's got to come, I got to get these people out of here. So the doorman would be flipping out that they got to drag them. And I will tell you that they changed that whole front of the of the Hyatt hotel now, and this is the one that's near Grand Central.

Speaker 2 1:17:05

Yeah, 42nd and Lex, so that one. Actually they changed that whole front thing now so you can't fit a person in the. It was a big fountain, was huge, it was a big waterfall is what it was, and there was like it was like a tub. It was big. Now it's like a little strip with like drips.

Speaker 1 1:17:26

They learned that lesson.

Speaker 2 1:17:27

I know they had to redo that whole thing.

Speaker 1 1:17:29

We had people in it all the time. They said only the slender man's getting in this fountain.

Speaker 2 1:17:35

I don't think even the slender man would fit it, so tiny.

Speaker 1 1:17:39

Happy Halloween, by the way. Happy.

Speaker 2 1:17:41

Halloween. Happy Halloween. Happy Halloween, witches.

Speaker 1 1:17:43

I didn't dress up cause I'm a grown ass man.

Speaker 2 1:17:45

I was going to bring my witch hat, but I wasn't sure when you were going to post this, so I forget.

Speaker 1 1:17:47

I'm probably going to post this tomorrow. Okay, I'm quick with it.

Speaker 2 1:17:50

Okay, so those are the jobs. So after the Hyatt.

Speaker 1 1:17:54

After the Hyatt, what did you decide to jump into and actually I want to get into this. At what point, with all of these conglomerate jobs, I know At what point did you buy your first house? At 21?, which is a pretty crazy feat. That was New York life, even though back then, houses cost $40.

Speaker 2 1:18:10

No, it really wasn't, it was $165,000. Oh my God, what I love that house yeah it was a good, it was a dope house. I wish I would have kept that house.

Speaker 1 1:18:19

What's it worth now? I'm very curious.

Speaker 2 1:18:21

Probably about $500.

Speaker 1 1:18:23

Yeah that's crazy yeah.

Speaker 2 1:18:24

Yeah, I love that house, but I did a lot there.

Speaker 1 1:18:30

So would you recommend that young kids buy a house straight out like that Quick right First house, young twenties? It depends situationally. I get that, but in general, was it worth Right now? In general, we're talking now because now is the young kids are buying. So take your mortgage broker, take rates out, take all that bullshit out. If they can afford it, do you recommend they get it? Yeah, or is it worth more of a headache? Is it more of a headache than it's worth?

Speaker 2 1:19:00

Depends on the lifestyle you want. I will tell you, once I bought the house, I was exceptionally lonely. My friends were all going away, you know, spring break and going to the Bahamas, going to RuPaul, going to Florida, and I was stuck like moan the lawn.

Speaker 1 1:19:17

So it wasn't, you know and I bought a house that had a department in it Sweet, tea for yourself.

Speaker 2 1:19:22

Yeah, no, that's when I was drinking, so I was definitely having a Spike sweet tea. Yeah, I was definitely doing something. It wasn't drugs, but it was something. And you know, I mean I'd have my friends over and stuff and-.

Speaker 1 1:19:34

Which was nice, I'm sure.

Speaker 2 1:19:35

Family. Everybody came over when I bought the house. I had a little party, so it was very nice, but again-.

Speaker 1 1:19:40

Once they leave after the party's over, it's just you.

Speaker 2 1:19:42

Just you, and it needed a lot of work. It was an old guy's house and I didn't argue with him. He wanted what he wanted and I didn't even go in the house. I bought the house. Wow, it was like when you got the car you didn't even know how to drive.

Speaker 1 1:19:55

Yeah, I didn't know how to drive the S5, but I was sitting in it for days. I was like I was fantasizing about it.

Speaker 2 1:20:01

I loved the house. I still go by there. I'm just sorry that they made a shithole out of it.

Speaker 1 1:20:06

Maybe like that sometimes, when the sentimental value isn't there for them.

Speaker 2 1:20:09

Yeah, they don't care. You want to know something. A lot went on on that block. My best friend, Joeyanne died. She was raising the puppies.

Speaker 1 1:20:21

You had a good time with all the shits. They were so cute Boo-boo, boo-boo.

Speaker 2 1:20:23

He had a little ear A little fucked up ear. Yeah, that was your first little pet.

Speaker 1 1:20:29

So you don't recommend it in a lot of aspects because a lot of people become house poor.

Speaker 2 1:20:34

Yes, Right now, like I'm saying. That's why I asked you right now, because right now I think if somebody's going to get into real estate right now in your age group, I would. I'm not married, single people I would probably tell them if you're going to do it by an investment property and don't live there.

Speaker 1 1:21:01

And rent an apartment.

Speaker 2 1:21:03

Either rent an apartment or stay home and save you money. There's plenty of people that have houses big enough where they can still stay with their parents if they kick in a little. There's no reason to live home if you're not going to kick in a little after 25 years old, I mean, come on or even 30. But when it comes down to it, it's a big responsibility and I wasn't able to. I just I wasn't able to enjoy my 20s where other people did Like they went out and did a lot. I mean I did a lot, but you know what was I doing? I was going to the nightclubs and you were working.

Speaker 2 1:21:45

Well, I was working, but and why were you working so much?

Speaker 1 1:21:48

Was it to-.

Speaker 2 1:21:49

Afford everything.

Speaker 1 1:21:50

Was it eventually to buy the house Because you were working hard like that prior to the house anyway?

Speaker 2 1:21:54

I had to pay for college. My parents were very generous. They did what they could do. They did for Angela a certain amount. They did a certain amount for me. My father did not really believe that girls should go to college. He was old fashioned and did not believe my mother actually had a fight with him and that was like one of the only fights I ever thought they had.

Speaker 1 1:22:13

That was like my big factory wedding.

Speaker 2 1:22:15

Yeah, but my dad actually did jewelry for one of the schools. Well, I gotta realize, I graduated a year early and my senior year of high school was my first year of college. I really wanted to go to college, but I wanted to go to college the way I wanted to go to college, but instead my father was the jeweler for the chairman of a school, which I'm not gonna say, and he came home and gave me here here's your schedule you start September 1st and I went to Careful.

Speaker 1 1:22:45

What do you mean? Awesome?

Speaker 2 1:22:47

So I'm looking at it and I'm going I have to take these glasses and my mother goes like this To shut up.

Speaker 1 1:22:52

You could change later. Shut up and go.

Speaker 2 1:22:54

So I was in an old boy's school, it was like that I think there were five women in the entire school, five girls going to college. It was an architectural blah, blah, blah school and I'm like, wait a second, this is not what I wanted to do and you know, my mother just talked me into the fact that business is what I should go for. I'm very good at it blah, blah, blah and I've never really done what I wanted to do.

Speaker 1 1:23:17

And what did you want to do?

Speaker 2 1:23:22

I didn't want to do that, but I did it and it was fine and I was thankful. My parents were gracious and, listen, my father helped me with my first car. My mother paid for so much stuff. I was a single mom If it wasn't for my parents. They kicked in and helped me a lot with you a lot, but again, I did have to pay for a lot of babysitters and stuff, because while they were helping me, they were helping my sister with her two children, so it was a lot of you know, there's a lot. My parents really did a lot for us. They did a lot for themselves, though, too. They went traveling a lot and they did listen. I was blessed. I had great parents. I really did.

Speaker 2 1:24:04

I can't say. I can't say anything bad about them. My father was funny and didn't even know it. My mother was the strict one, but she was strict in the right way. They were hard workers. They were good people. You know my mom's still alive. I don't think anybody knows, but my father died 2019, right before COVID, and losing him really put a hole in the family, because we're very small. We're a very small family. Losing him was a lot.

Speaker 1 1:24:31

I've said it a lot of times, grandpa was more of a father to me than my dad is, so yeah, and that was a strange situation for me.

Speaker 2 1:24:39

I never thought I'd be divorced, never. I always wanted to be married, like my parents, you know, for years and years and celebrate anniversaries and da, da, da, but again after, after divorcing. Well, it took a long time to get divorced, for no reason, but anyway, when I finally did finalize, I um, I really wanted to concentrate on being a mom and unfortunately, I always had to work. So you grew up in my office building and actually one of the girls on my Facebook page, did you see that, carol?

Speaker 1 1:25:14

No.

Speaker 2 1:25:14

Carol used to be the manager in the building in Uniondale that I I went to when I first opened up my own shop and she was the manager there. It was like a Regis center. It was an executive center, but a guy by the name of Arnie actually he, he's the one, that brilliant guy. Seriously, when you look back, he was the first one to put together that kind of a building.

Speaker 2 1:25:39

He rented an entire floor in an office building and separated it all and we were all had our own little room and we all paid rent. And then he had the girls that were. That was part of our rent. The girls managed the floor and they would take our mail and they would answer the phones and they would do all of that. I've been there. Arnie sold to HQ, hq sold to Regis. I am been renting from them for 30, 35 years. It's crazy. Yeah, I was in the board of building but it was great and they really helped me. So she actually looked at your picture on when I wrote. I put that thing on Facebook about having a son and and she wrote down she goes is that that little blonde boy with the blue eyes?

Speaker 1 1:26:27

Blonde, that's right.

Speaker 2 1:26:28

You stop blonde hair Really blonde, me too, really blonde blue eyes, big blue eyes. She says, oh my God, he's, you know. And I said, yeah, I said, but he had good moms. I said that on the Facebook page. I said you helped me raise him. She did. The girls were great. I was in the middle of them, I couldn't have seen clients. And then, arthur, do you remember that? Down the hall, no.

Speaker 2 1:26:49

You were little, you used to run around, you used to take the candy off my, off my desk, and I'd go go ahead, go bring it to everybody. And you thought I was in charge of everybody on the floor.

Speaker 1 1:26:59

Oh, yeah, I thought you were the boss.

Speaker 2 1:27:00

Yeah. So as you came back with this man, you could, you dragged him back to my office and you said I told him, if he doesn't take a piece of candy, you're going to fire him Me. Well, he's the accountant. Down the hall, I go, I will, I'll fire you. Yeah, that's it, he goes. Okay, I'll take a piece of candy. Yeah.

Speaker 1 1:27:16

But he was laughing the whole time. Let me ask again.

Speaker 2 1:27:18

Yeah, and then, arthur, when I was on the phone with clients used to make a used to like when, when my sister and I were small and my mother was on the phone, we'd interfere when I was on the phone in my office, cause it was very small. My office was probably I don't know a quarter or this thing, not even less than that and you were like right here next to me on the floor playing, and then I'd get a phone call and I go oh, nikki, you got to go inside, you got to go down the hall. Go down the hall and go see Arthur. Arthur was two young guys they were probably, I guess I was, I was about 30 years old at the time, 30, 31. And he was. They were like in the mid twenties, maybe early twenties, mid twenties they were stockbrokers down the hall and I'd go go down and talk to Arthur and you'd go okay, so I would hear Arthur go.

Speaker 1 1:28:04

Hey buddy, what's going on? Was it Arthur the?

Speaker 2 1:28:05

accountant no, they were stockbrokers. They had a TV on the ceiling.

Speaker 1 1:28:10

Oh, okay.

Speaker 2 1:28:10

Cause they used to watch the stocks. So you had a TV on the ceiling like half in the corner, and he would come in and go. Is it okay if we, if we feed him? I'd go, yeah, you could feed him. Okay, cause I could put can you hold on a minute? I go, what's the matter? Is everything okay? Arthur would go no, we're just playing. We're playing. Can we feed him? I'd go, yeah, you could. What are you?

Speaker 1 1:28:28

eating. I'm a fucking puppy.

Speaker 2 1:28:30

You could feed him. I don't know they would get. They would get pizza, fire, fire.

Speaker 1 1:28:34

Let's go they were the best babysitters. They would be excited they were the hardest. Let's go.

Speaker 2 1:28:39

No, you were tiny.

Speaker 1 1:28:40

I know I was a little skinny kid.

Speaker 2 1:28:41

Oh my God, he would give you. He'd give you and I. I had come down after a while. They knew that you were coming. Eventually, you'd be hanging out with them again. So he had pillows and a blanket on the floor and you all, all three of you the two of stockbrokers that knew in the middle would be watching cartoons, eating pizza and drinking soda, and I'd go wow, there's a party in and you like that.

Speaker 1 1:29:04

Sometimes they were the best cause I'm just doing a little pizza party midday.

Speaker 2 1:29:07

Actually he was friends with Anthony Cordero.

Speaker 1 1:29:09

Oh nice.

Speaker 2 1:29:09

Yeah, he was good friends with Anthony. That's anything to live together at the time I was a little time ago. My God, you were so small, Nikki.

Speaker 1 1:29:17

So I actually wanted to ask you about you don't have to talk directly about Dad but Having been married and then six months later he was diagnosed with MS, and then how much longer after that was I, did I join the party?

Speaker 2 1:29:38

Um, we were married Four years later. You joined us. But how? How?

Speaker 1 1:29:51

we had already split up. How quickly into the marriage did he get sick? Oh, six months, six months in.

Speaker 2 1:29:58

Yeah, we were married then six months in. Well, it was six months he was diagnosed.

Speaker 1 1:30:03

And then he started getting bad after that.

Speaker 2 1:30:05

But he was. He had had a lot of symptoms already. Yeah.

Parental Roles and Family Dynamics

Speaker 1 1:30:10

And I've talked about it before. My father has MS, so it's always been a struggle dealing with that on my side and I think it affected his mental and things like that. So after you guys split up and I was around, that kind of started you into the single mother realm and you were really mom and dad for me the whole time. I mean, let's be, let's be general, let's be clear. That's why I use Rizzo. I said that a couple episodes ago. That's why I use Rizzo as my last name. My grandfather, mom's father, was really a father to me and I was raised by them. So if I wasn't at her office, I was at grandma and grandpa's house.

Speaker 2 1:30:45

Yeah, well, you were at my house and my father was feeding you dinner, which was Carvel.

Speaker 1 1:30:49

Carvels? Yes, my father would call it Plurals. For some reason he made everything plural.

Speaker 2 1:30:55

Daddy did Nikki eat. Yeah, we went to Carvels.

Speaker 1 1:30:58

Yeah.

Speaker 2 1:30:59

That's not dinner.

Speaker 1 1:31:00

And so Nick's obesity has around. We're starting to connect the dots. Very constellation like Very interesting.

Speaker 2 1:31:09

You always ate healthy with me.

Speaker 1 1:31:11

Yeah, but the problem is everybody else I didn't eat healthy with, I know, and then, because I ate healthy with you, then I would binge and eat a bunch of bad shit and then I wasn't moving. Now, let's be, let's face it. I didn't have a father that took me out to do things.

Speaker 2 1:31:23

No, cause he couldn't either. But oh well, actually back then he could have.

Speaker 1 1:31:27

I remember he brought. I remember he yeah, I remember he brought me to the gym before we went to get sushi one time in Franklin Square, cause we would get sushi every Friday night. He brought me to the gym and, looking back on that, we weren't there very long, we weren't there very long. I don't remember like what he actually trained.

Speaker 2 1:31:41

I gotta tell you your father was in good shape when I met him. I've seen the pictures.

Speaker 1 1:31:45

He was in good shape, he was okay. He was okay. I think, I think if I had a teleporter to go back in time and my dad and we had a little scuffle on the street, I think I'd be a problem for him. My little short ass, I think I'd be a problem for him.

Speaker 2 1:32:02

I know you are, he's tall. Yeah, you got the Rizzo gene.

Speaker 1 1:32:07

I'm sorry, that's okay, I'm cool.

Speaker 2 1:32:08

We're small people.

Speaker 1 1:32:09

I'm cool Compact. I was comfortable on that Dubai flight. I'm cool with it. We're good I was able to crunch those knees up. If I was any taller it would have been a problem.

Speaker 2 1:32:18

That's okay with me Well what did you want me to say?

Speaker 1 1:32:22

So I just wanted to know what it was like having to mentally go through that Um it was. Because, listen, it's a mental challenge for couples that get into situations like that because it's a marriage, so you guys are together on that. It's not just he got diagnosed. It's almost like, yeah, he got diagnosed, but y'all got diagnosed, because now sickness and health, like that is it. It's the start of what you think is going to be a long and prosperous marriage and it's like, well, we're starting it with an illness. That's tough.

Speaker 2 1:32:46

Okay. So I'm going to go back to something that I said yeah, have that, maybe loud on the mic. That's okay. Does he want treats? I have them. No, anyway, okay. So well, I was very happy I thought I was anyway with the fact that I was marrying into a large family and I thought that that was going to be something that would be great, because I was used to my family and how close we are and if something happened, you had someone there, like you know. I mean, when my niece had a car accident, we all loaded in the car and we all went to Stony Brook Hospital. There was no question Well, picking you up would come and we're going. You know what I mean. It's just that's what we do. But when it was your father's situation, we were very much on our own.

Speaker 1 1:33:43

Yeah, you didn't realize they were descendants of hell.

Speaker 2 1:33:46

They were a tough family. They were tough. They were very, very tough. And I don't even want to get into it, because they're not worth the airtime.

Speaker 2 1:33:55

They're not, they really aren't. I don't even want to, there's no sense. But people are people and they are going to be who they're going to be and they showed me who they were and I knew that we would never be close, which was hurtful to begin with. And then when your father became ill and we he was diagnosed having this, he did not, he didn't take it well and I brought him to every possible doctor mental, physical, just anyone and everyone I could get my hands on. I was researching it and making sure that we got him to the best doctor that we could, which was Dr Blank, by the way, and he actually runs the MS Society. He was an I don't even know if he's alive, he was old when I talked to him but anyway, not a long time ago.

Speaker 2 1:34:50

He was a great guy, great doctor, very, very on top of his game and I think that's why your father's still alive, to be honest with you. But I did tell your father that he should be doing, you know, water, aerobics back then and yoga and all this stuff, and he refused and the doctor actually told me, not that, not Dr Blank, but another associate of his has said to me, had said to me at the time. This is a very difficult illness and you will find, as a spouse, that either he will do everything that he is supposed to do and he will maintain a healthy, long life that he can enjoy himself and you can both enjoy a life together, or he is going to make you insane and you're going to wind up leaving. So I'm just telling you, it's either one extreme or another. And your father went the other and he just did not want to be around.

Speaker 1 1:35:53

So he went that's okay, peace, have a good one.

Speaker 2 1:35:55

He just I was just telling my nephew about this tonight. It's funny. I was talking to him earlier, before I came out, and he's going through a little bit of a hard time right now, and I said to him and I mean this there is no 50-50 in a relationship. There's not, there's 100. And I'm not saying that there's 100, 100. You're either in or you're out. It's like being pregnant you are either pregnant or you're not. There's no in between. So if you are going to be in a relationship, you must be 100% in it, and if you don't think that you can be, don't go there, because it's very easy to say I do, and it takes an awful lot of shit to say I don't anymore, and you drag everybody down with you so and children suffer. And that was the one thing that kind of crushed me, because you were so little and, to be honest, things got so dangerous in the house that I had to save us. That's really the bottom line. I had to save us. Things were getting really bad, I mean.

Speaker 1 1:37:10

You don't have to say anything. Yeah, really.

Speaker 2 1:37:12

They were getting really bad. So so I did, and even though I love that house, I love that house. I wish I never sold it. I did love that house. It's the little house that you right, I always say that. It's the little house that you draw when you're in kindergarten. It's the house that looks like this, with the point and the door in the front and two windows.

Speaker 1 1:37:32

That was my house, I love that, but it was time to move on.

Speaker 2 1:37:37

I had to get out of there. It was too much for me. It was just too much for me. And then we had the tenant upstairs which was your babysitter. Remember him? He was lovely, alan loved him, nice man. Thank God for him too. He helped me out a lot. But then it was just time to go. And then, when I met Peter, you really had a good dad there for quite a few years. I know you may not remember it, but you guys got along very well. He coached the little league team. I mean he came to every open school night. He, he prompted you to play the trumpet. He bought you one. I mean he was really a good stand in dad. He really was, he was, he was, he was right, he really was.

Speaker 1 1:38:14

He was right. I know Wasn't the worst, wasn't the best, he was right.

Challenges of Dating and Prioritizing Parenthood

Speaker 2 1:38:18

I understand, but I understand where you drew the line also, I understand. As you got older, the things were different, and then we split up and then I decided that I really needed to be there for you because we were the team, right? Aren't we always the team?

Speaker 1 1:38:33

It was day one.

Speaker 2 1:38:34

We're the team and I just didn't want to bring anybody else home and I dated here and there, but no one really, you know, no one really that I would write home about, just like I tell you, you know.

Speaker 1 1:38:48

No outdoor cats.

Speaker 2 1:38:49

No outdoor cats. Got to only bring home indoor cats and in my case it was junkyard dogs. It'd be doggy, so I didn't want to. So I just I remained and, to tell you the truth, it was fine. I have really good friends and family and it was really okay.

Speaker 1 1:39:12

Yeah.

Speaker 2 1:39:12

And I don't feel like I. In other words, like people say to me, I can't believe you're not with anyone, I can't believe you don't have a steady and I'm like. But I would if I met the right person and I haven't met anyone that compliments my life.

Speaker 1 1:39:27

That would be 100% in Important yeah, at this stage of the game.

Speaker 2 1:39:32

I mean even with. Peter, but even with Peter, even at a younger stage of the game, yeah, but even with Peter, I mean, he really wanted to get married at one point and I kept saying to him it's not really necessary, we're really good this way, as long as we both know that we're in.

Speaker 2 1:39:46

And I mean we're not drifting and not having children so, and he didn't want kids, still doesn't have children. So you know, I mean it was okay the way it was and there was no like you keep your shit, I keep mine for my son and we're good. I mean I don't know how much you need, but I listened. Everybody has their own take on it. He wanted to get married in church. If we got married, and I got an annulment in order to do that. I paid for that and made sure I could get married in a church if he wanted to, and just things didn't work out. So we just split. It was just, it was fine.

Speaker 1 1:40:22

I think the the important note for that, though, is that you would prefer to be by yourself than to than to put up with just having somebody.

Speaker 2 1:40:32

It's not even putting up with. It's a matter of not having somebody in your life. That's special, because I have a very big thing about I. You know you and I talk about everything. So I think that I don't I don't even know if this should. We should even discuss this, but I'm gonna say it anyway. You know when, when you talk about a sexual relationship, anybody can go out and get laid. You could just anybody can, you can do it. There's always somebody that'll say, yeah, you know what I mean.

Speaker 1 1:40:59

As Jamal says, meet and beat apps.

Speaker 2 1:41:02

I, I love Jamal. It's just, and to me, at certain stages of my life I just didn't feel as if that was satisfactory To me. I really believe that the best sex you can have is with someone that you're totally into, and that's just the way I see it. So when it came down to it, you know I kept being reminded that it's the third date. Like I didn't know what rules that was. I was like where are those?

Speaker 1 1:41:31

What do?

Speaker 2 1:41:31

you mean third date?

Speaker 1 1:41:33

Oh wait, I didn't get the contract you guys sent over. Was that notarized?

Speaker 2 1:41:36

Well, it was third date. You're supposed to drop your drawers. I'm like wow.

Speaker 1 1:41:39

Damn son.

Speaker 2 1:41:41

That's interesting. I said well, you got the wrong girl. You know it's invitation only and you ain't invited, so so you know.

Speaker 1 1:41:51

I mean, I don't know you got to set standards for yourself, and that's how I feel about it, and it's okay.

Speaker 2 1:41:57

Listen, a one night stand is fine. One night stand is fine If that's if you got something going and you get that going on and you have a good time and nobody feels guilty the next day. There's no walk of shame, you're good. But if that's the only way you're having a sexual relationship, then I see there's a problem.

Speaker 1 1:42:13

There's most, that's most of the.

Speaker 2 1:42:14

Yes, I know that's your age group and it's. It's a bad way to be.

Speaker 1 1:42:18

Well, it's sad, it's, and it's it's. That is the lonelier way than just being by yourself, Chilling, not having any drama.

Speaker 2 1:42:23

That's how I feel about it, Listen I understand that guys. Guys have sex differently than women, depending upon the moment. It's more of a functional thing and it's almost mechanical at times because they just want to have it.

Speaker 1 1:42:38

How you doing.

Speaker 2 1:42:40

Yeah, and that's that's. It's because that's the way men look at it, and there's no it's also because we're how we're wired to some extent. Yes, and I get it A little different.

Speaker 2 1:42:47

I get it. However, I really do believe that it's both sides of that coin, that a man can have a very deep and meaningful sexual relationship with somebody that they really, really care about. I think that it is possible for someone to be monogamous. There are some men, well, there are some men that are not Well and I would dating. Going through my dating history, there were plenty of guys that were not going to be, you know, just with me, and I would remind them it's all good.

Speaker 1 1:43:24

You do you, you do you, I'm out.

Speaker 2 1:43:26

Yeah, I'm not. I'm not one of your tribe. It's cool, go have a party.

Speaker 1 1:43:32

Yeah, go find the others that put the pineapples on the door, on the curves. Exactly, keep that fruit shit over there, keep that shit over there.

Speaker 2 1:43:39

Yeah, yeah, I don't want to know, so-.

Speaker 1 1:43:41

But yes, I agree with what? But what I'm saying is, unfortunately, people aren't holding the standards up for themselves. They're allowing the promiscuity to just float-.

Speaker 2 1:43:50

Because my age group screwed it all up.

Speaker 1 1:43:54

I know you guys did.

Speaker 2 1:43:54

Yeah, my age group screwed it all up. So the kids just feel like ah, what the hell, I'll do this one, I'll do that one, I'll go here, I'll go there, and then that's more the girls are spoiled, but what I'm trying to say you know it's like-.

Speaker 1 1:44:04

What I'm trying to say is that's more lonely than if you just spent time alone. Yeah, because you feel like you're just being used left and right.

Speaker 1 1:44:11

Very true Men and women? Yes, because guess what? It impacts? The same thing After a while. Hey guys, I don't know, I don't know if y'all were told this, but the dudes that really keep the number count and y'all really try to hammer that number up and up and up, no one gives a fuck. It actually doesn't matter. In the grand scheme of things, it actually is sad. It is sad to me?

Speaker 2 1:44:29

Yeah, it is, it is, and I actually met somebody that I was very attracted to and really liked him as a person, and it was the biggest turn off to hear that you know what flavor of the month are you sleeping with now? Yeah, it's like you like that, you know. Just to me it's like you know, does that make you more of a man?

Speaker 1 1:44:51

Well evidently In your own mind, some guys, it makes it more desirable To me. I don't understand that.

Speaker 2 1:44:56

Well, some guys just feel like that's what they gotta do. Okay, then, if that's what you gotta do, go ahead, but then do it without me.

Speaker 1 1:45:03

Also be upfront with whoever you're with.

Speaker 2 1:45:06

Exactly. Yeah, don't make-, don't do that.

Speaker 1 1:45:08

Don't be tiptoeing, don't be a fucking creep.

Speaker 2 1:45:10

Yeah, don't bread crumb everybody, because that's bullshit.

Speaker 1 1:45:12

Yeah.

Speaker 2 1:45:13

So yeah, there's been a lot of, you know, ups and downs in the dating pool and I I have met a lot of nice people Just didn't click.

Speaker 1 1:45:21

But it's also tough as a single mom.

Speaker 2 1:45:23

Oh yeah, oh it is. Actually it's tough as a single mom if Under any circumstances, whether you have one or five just is. But when you're a dedicated parent, I will say that there there's been situations in my past where, not that there was a jealousy situation that I favored you, but there was a question about priorities. It's, it's. There's a there's like a really thin line with men. They sometimes can be rude. When you have a child, that's a boy.

Speaker 1 1:46:18

That's a boy. Yeah, I'm sure they can, cause they know I'm either gonna grow up and like them or fucking hate them and I'm gonna be a problem.

Speaker 2 1:46:24

Right, yeah, and children are. You know, it depends on the type of family that you have. We were always very protective of each other. You have me, me have you. You always had your antenna up. I always had mine up, cause we were always alone.

Speaker 1 1:46:40

Team.

Speaker 2 1:46:41

So One more, always the team. So you know, I mean it's a, it's, it was a tough, it was a tough time. And then, just because of interruptions with having a child, just because there were interruptions, just like you have with the dog, gotta take him to the doctor. Gotta take him out, gotta go to.

Speaker 1 1:47:05

Seizure pills A-A-M-A-P-M. You know what I mean.

Speaker 2 1:47:07

There's always stuff. You have a huge responsibility when you have a child. I don't care who you are, you do and and it interferes with your work life, it interferes with your social life and it interferes with family life. It just does. And either you have someone that's willing to work with you and understand that, or there are a lot of men that never had children during my early time of dating, so it's very new for them, it's totally new.

Speaker 2 1:47:41

And then there's always that I don't understand why he can't just do this and why does. Why do you have to be there for that? And well, he's my child. Well, I don't understand that. So you know, my response was always the same I go listen. I hate to be rude. I mean to be honest with you. He's always gonna be with me, you not so much. Now, you know what I mean. Like, I'm good on this.

Speaker 2 1:48:01

I just it's not gonna happen. I can't, I don't need the stress. I'm a parent. Either you're in or you're out. We come as a set. I'm sorry we just not leaving the kid. It's just ridiculous. So, but I know a lot of women that left their children.

Speaker 1 1:48:18

Oh, I'm sure.

Speaker 2 1:48:20

And I could never even imagine I'm floored when that happens. But again, doesn't make them bad people, it makes them honest people. They can't do it. Go, don't fuck your kid up. Just that just always amazes me. You know, like I'm not judging anyone, but when it comes down to it, your bravery, you know, just be, just just be some type of something that a child can look up to if you're a parent, or just leave them. Just leave them with somebody who can be raising them respectfully, instead of in the lunatic asylum that you have now created.

Speaker 1 1:49:04

Yeah, your own internal one, with no government funding.

Speaker 2 1:49:08

Yeah, I just, you know, it's just. The world is a different place now. It really is.

Speaker 1 1:49:15

On the topic of raising children, Nick C, one of my buddies from the Bevs. He had actually asked about how you felt as a parent, with me competing in bodybuilding. Those two shows that I did.

Speaker 2 1:49:27

How did I do Nick? I was supportive.

Speaker 1 1:49:31

What had you really feel?

Speaker 2 1:49:33

I didn't like your coach.

Speaker 1 1:49:35

Yeah, we've never said his name, so don't say his name.

Speaker 2 1:49:37

Nope, I'm not going to.

Steroids, Parties, and Boundaries

Speaker 1 1:49:38

He's a jerk off and he doesn't deserve any airtime.

Speaker 2 1:49:40

Yeah, and when we went to see him together, I made it very clear that there was certain situations that you preferred not to do.

Speaker 1 1:49:49

Steroids. You can say that.

Speaker 2 1:49:50

Okay.

Speaker 1 1:49:51

Didn't want to do steroids.

Speaker 2 1:49:52

Yes.

Speaker 1 1:49:53

And I made it very explicitly clear that I don't want I personally don't want to do them, and that you don't want them pushed on me.

Speaker 2 1:49:58

Exactly, and I thought we made it crystal clear.

Speaker 1 1:50:02

Nah, it didn't penetrate that brain, no, yeah.

Speaker 2 1:50:06

And then, of course, he treated you and coached you as if you were on steroids, which really Fuck me up. Yes, which really was a problem for me because I was ready to take that ride.

Speaker 1 1:50:21

Yeah, I know.

Speaker 2 1:50:22

But you know, sometimes it's easier to be silent and just turn the other way.

Speaker 1 1:50:30

Oh you, live and you learn. And I learned that I never wanted to do that shit ever again and I was good on it and it was too much, especially going away to college. It was just way too much on my brain. It was too much after that.

Speaker 2 1:50:40

Yeah.

Speaker 1 1:50:40

But I was very dedicated, Very. No one could tell me anything differently. I was gonna be like, okay, I'm gonna do this.

Speaker 2 1:50:46

Yeah, that was hard. I will tell you, though, I was very proud of you. You had been driven, you were totally on your game, you were not being swayed. I really was so proud of you, I mean, right through college, I mean your friends were falling down and throwing up in the bathroom. How many times did I come up and clean the bathroom?

Speaker 1 1:51:09

Yeah, gross. Oh my God, that bathroom is so gross.

Speaker 2 1:51:14

I know I cleaned Parents weekend.

Speaker 1 1:51:20

Oh yeah. You know, I had different ambitions and I had different routes.

Speaker 2 1:51:26

They were cool in your grandpa.

Speaker 1 1:51:28

Yeah, but guess what? They knew not to wait grandpa, when they came home from the clubs, because I'd fucked them up. Right, exactly, I wasn't playing that shit.

Speaker 2 1:51:33

But again, it's a matter of accountability and it's a matter of being respectful of people around you. Everybody can do their thing. Just don't push it on someone else and be respectful of what they are doing. If they don't wanna participate, look, I'm telling you, I grew up around pretty drunk people. I didn't do it. They didn't force it. I didn't do it. It was just we were friends and okay, so give me the keys.

Speaker 1 1:52:02

Do your thing, godspeed.

Speaker 2 1:52:06

And I mean that truthfully.

Speaker 1 1:52:07

I really do Enjoy your trip to Pluto. Exactly, have a good one. See you when you come back, captain. Oh my God.

Speaker 2 1:52:14

Oh, my God, I'll never forget. We had a party for my boyfriend at the time in high school. He was going away. He was moving away to go to school, college. He was a year older than me and we had a going away party for him and there was so many people that were hammered that I had had it at a friend of his's home.

Speaker 1 1:52:43

Sure, it wasn't at Quinnipiac.

Speaker 2 1:52:45

No, no, no.

Speaker 1 1:52:46

This was horrible. I gotta be honest with you. This is a horrible situation. Seems oddly familiar.

Speaker 2 1:52:50

Yeah, it's horrible and it's amazing what some people will do to get attention.

Speaker 1 1:52:54

Oh, it seems way even more oddly familiar yeah.

Speaker 2 1:52:56

So we had an incident in the house and we had to call the police. Meanwhile, I'm trying to have a nice party for my boyfriend to go away and one of these girls was having a fight with the boyfriend and cut her wrists in the bathroom.

Speaker 1 1:53:17

You crazy.

Speaker 2 1:53:21

And knew just how to do it, so she didn't die. But wall to wall blood, oh God. And before the parents got home, I'm telling you, my fingers were bleeding from the bleach. I was scrubbing the floor trying to get the blood up. If I tell you what a disaster. They were drunk, they were stoned and they were morons.

Speaker 1 1:53:43

It doesn't mix well.

Speaker 2 1:53:44

And this is why I tell you there's just that line with me. Then I'm done, I'm like, okay, I can't do it, I've just seen too much. I've just seen too much, but she knew exactly how to do it.

Speaker 1 1:53:56

And she was fine afterwards. She was serious.

Speaker 2 1:53:58

Oh yeah, back to school to get the soda.

Speaker 1 1:54:00

Yeah.

Speaker 2 1:54:01

It's amazing if you just do a little pop.

Speaker 1 1:54:03

Yeah, I'm good on that. Yeah, you don't have to say that.

Speaker 2 1:54:05

People are crazy, but I and we would. How old was I? I was 16, 17. Yeah.

Speaker 1 1:54:13

It was a little like a scene at a nom.

Speaker 2 1:54:15

Oh, you have no idea because I didn't know what was going on. Then I hear all kinds of commotion and I go what's happening back there? Just we're in the backyard. I'm like what's happening?

Speaker 1 1:54:25

What's going on? I mean, there were dated. Any girls that you know craved attention, so I wouldn't know, oh boy, and we're leaving that one there.

Speaker 2 1:54:32

Okay, I was a prisoner in my own house. Yeah, we're leaving that one my room. We're leaving that one there, closing that door.

Speaker 1 1:54:37

Yeah, it's okay, we're leaving that one there and then I exit. I exit the home and I'm now on my own and no one comes over. It's me and Kenji. I thought it was gonna be girl paradise, like I'd be having girls over all the time. It's gonna be fucking crazy.

Speaker 2 1:54:50

You just tell me that Is it that?

Speaker 1 1:54:51

Oh yeah, it's gonna be nuts. I can't wait. No, I was like three girls over when I got my apartment. I was like God, it's so fucking annoying, I just wanna be on my couch by myself.

Speaker 2 1:54:59

My favorite was when you said she put her.

Speaker 1 1:55:01

Yo, that shit was crazy. Okay, Let me tell you. Let me tell you all real quick.

Speaker 2 1:55:06

Now I wanna tell you something, though you never did that in my house.

Speaker 1 1:55:09

No, but I did just buy that from Creighton Barrel and I spent a pretty penny on that coffee table and who bought all the stuff in our house. Listen, listen, different. I now I realize it's different people. People. It's because I realized, yeah, she came over. Oh, she freaked me out. She came over. Don't spit your coffee out, don't do it. Why do you take sip from telling funny shit? What is up with you? You've been doing that forever. Yeah, there it is.

Speaker 2 1:55:36

I was thirsty, I was gonna cough.

Speaker 1 1:55:37

She joke on it because then element will owe us money. Oh no, what's your product? What's your product, dude my mom?

Speaker 2 1:55:43

So yeah, he's over here the puppy Kenji Go ahead.

Speaker 1 1:55:47

So she came over. It was gonna be a little hookup. Whatever she came over, I got sushi, had some sake and some wine ready and I was like I was trying to just be. I'm probably the pimp man, I'm just trying to be like yo. This is the pair. This is gonna be the cool spot, like we got the flat screen TV, 65 inch, you got the new fresh couch and the centerpiece. We got the Crate and Barrel coffee table.

Speaker 2 1:56:13

Coffee table.

Speaker 1 1:56:13

Yep, serious, and this girl sat Indian style.

Speaker 2 1:56:17

And you had these.

Speaker 1 1:56:18

I didn't say that anymore. I don't even, I don't fucking care.

Speaker 2 1:56:21

And you had these. No, I did. You had coasters, I had coasters.

Speaker 1 1:56:25

She's had Indian style On the floor, no, on my couch, oh, without feet, and she was dipping sushi in the soy sauce and then going like this, going like this, look, and then eating the sushi. And I'm looking at her, I'm like after the third piece of tuna, I said the gray rug. I said, sweetheart, you gotta use a coaster and you gotta bring that soy sauce closer. She put her fucking cups on the thing. I'm gonna get rings on there. I just bought this shit. Are you out of your mind?

Speaker 2 1:56:54

Yeah, come back and take a look at my house. You in the door, instantly, instantly, down.

Speaker 1 1:57:01

Houston, we have a problem. Yeah, the problem is she's dipping her soy sauce and she's gonna get a fucking mess all over the floor. Outside cat. Yeah, she was an outside cat. Yeah, that's okay. Yeah, she hasn't re-entered the home ever again. So we're good, cause she's an outside cat, I know. That's why I left traps out there and I double, I double bolted the front door. We're good, I don't have to worry about it. Nope, nope, stay out there, stay out there, stay out there. Mother said no drama.

Speaker 2 1:57:26

Stay out there, please. So what are we doing now?

Speaker 1 1:57:29

I don't know. I'm trying to think like I don't really want you to get into mortgages and shit. It's boring, it's boring and it sucks.

Speaker 2 1:57:34

But I will tell you, you have a list of those.

Lessons for Young Professionals in Unpredictable Industry

Speaker 2 1:57:37

Can I just say, though, going from financial planning from New York life to into the mortgage business, I've been in the mortgage business now 39 years. It's a long time and I will tell you it was always a very satisfying career because I always liked to help people and that's why New York life was good. Also Because I always liked to help people, I liked to direct them, make sure that they got everything safe and put together well. It's unfortunate that there's been such a crazy ups and downs in my industry since 2008,. That crash killed us and then you know, there's been others since then. So the last 10 years have been even longer, but about the last 10 have been a big roller coaster ride, and my advice to younger people in my industry which I know a few of your friends are and stock people because I know where that is also same type of mentality.

Speaker 2 1:58:42

A lot of people get in the business. They make some nice cash on a couple of deals. They work hard for it. It's a very hard industry it is. You're dealing with people's emotions. It's all personal information. People that you know really kind of. Unless they really trust you, do not want you to know their personal information and don't realize that, if you know, for salesmen's like me, once you close the loan, you forget all about it. You don't even know what they have anymore. I don't remember anybody's file, I don't. It's like I just wanted to get you closed. Beige, look good, we're good, you're closed. That's it, let's look next.

Speaker 2 1:59:24

So my point to younger people in my industry is this don't be a cowboy. What I mean by that is you're not in an industry that covers your ass. You do not have residual income. Your next deal is the only deal you have. The last deal paid some bills and put some money in your pocket. So you absolutely must put away six to eight months worth of your bills rent, car payment, insurance, everything. Six to eight months of your bills must be in the bank at all times, because when the market falls apart and the closings are way apart, and it will, and they will, and it will and it does, and I don't care.

Speaker 2 2:00:14

I listen, I look at these best originators in the world. This one's done $7 billion. This one's done eight bills. God bless you. You must have a team. You must have a lot of people under you. You're getting a piece of everything. You're a manager or you're this or you're that, and that's great. And I'm very thankful for everybody in my business that you're helping all of these people with their dreams, which is to buy a house and manage their lives, which is fantastic. It is.

Speaker 2 2:00:41

And I do commercial stuff too. I do a lot of consulting work, private money, hard money. You know it all depends on what somebody is. I'm actually a non-producing sales manager at Silver, so there's a lot of stuff that I've done over the years. I did close my own one-to-four family company many years ago After my processor decided to. She decided to retire. I wanted to kill her, but she was the best processor I ever had. She really was. Julie was the best, and after that I just sort of wanted to participate a little further in more of a consulting capacity. So I do a lot of stuff, but if you're a loan originator, you really do need to pay attention. Don't be a cowboy like a stockbroker. Oh, I made money. Oh, I made $600,000 this year, and next year you might make two. So you know what I mean.

Speaker 1 2:01:34

Two dollars. Two dollars exactly, Not 200,000.

Speaker 2 2:01:37

$200,000. $200,000. $20,000. Whatever it is. You can get sushi one day Sometimes and if you're sick and you can't work, you have to really pay attention to the lifestyle you want. And being a single parent, it was an expense and not to say anything, that I would never do it again.

Speaker 1 2:02:01

I would do everything exactly over again exactly how I did it and Kenji's different than me when I was a baby. But Kenji's expensive. I'd say it all the time too.

Speaker 2 2:02:08

It's expensive and I did go through a ton of money. If I had support from your father at certain times, it would have been easier. It wasn't possible and he's not well, so you just don't have it, that's what it is. Right. So under the circumstances, that's why my hours were crazy. That's why I always worked until 11, 12, even one o'clock in the morning, sometimes on clients. I have since not decided to do that anymore. I actually give myself a break. So I'm good at eight, nine o'clock, but I'm done.

Speaker 1 2:02:38

Still late.

Speaker 2 2:02:39

Yeah, if you don't answer the phone, they're going somewhere else.

Speaker 1 2:02:42

Yeah, it's still too late though.

Speaker 2 2:02:44

I know. But again, it's fine, I'm used to it. Get used to things. So, under the circumstances, that is the only reason why I wanted to bring up the business is because I would like the younger people to understand that even though you're swinging high right now and you buy your fancy car and you buy your fancy house and I listen I did a stun. Never forget it. I did.

Speaker 2 2:03:06

I did a mortgage for a kid a long time ago. He was a stock broker. He suddenly ran into a ton of money and I said to him do you really want to do this? He was buying a house in Lloyd Harbor, I think he was 26. I said to him I bought my first house when I was 21. I said really, think this through. He goes nah, I'm making tons of money, I'm doing really well, I'm making a lot of money, I'm doing great, I'm doing great. I go oh, okay, well, I just want you to think about it because things can happen. And then it was like my lips to God's ears and the stock market crashes after the kid closes and the bank calls me.

Speaker 2 2:03:47

He was a first pay foreclosure. He never made the first payment on his loan and of course, I had to give the commission back. So we had to pay the commission back. They had foreclose on the kid. I actually went to see him and I said what is going on? He goes well, we've crashed and I lost everything. I lost my accounts, I lost my this. I'm not making anything. I spent all the money on the. He had no furniture. There was no mattress on the floor, there was no furniture. I said I told you not to do this. I said please do me one favor. Please sell the house before they foreclose.

Speaker 1 2:04:20

Did he listen to you?

Speaker 2 2:04:22

To be honest with you, I don't even know I was out of it then.

Speaker 1 2:04:25

Didn't even matter.

Speaker 2 2:04:26

I had to write my check back.

Speaker 1 2:04:27

I was like best of luck bro.

Speaker 2 2:04:29

Yeah, I felt bad for the kid, I really did. But big eyes, big eyes. Don't always think that tomorrow is going to be as bright as today, because everybody has good and bad days and everybody has sudden responsibilities. It happens People may need you in your family, a father or a mother could get sick. They may not have enough money. You may have to kick in. I mean, thank God my mother always took care of my dad. My father's bills were huge.

Speaker 2 2:05:01

He never got Medicaid or Medicare, whatever it was. He never got it. He never got. We applied for it. That was a $10,000 loss. We hired an attorney trying to get him to get this thing. Blah, blah, blah blah. The veteran stuff didn't come out, he didn't get anything Shocker.

Speaker 2 2:05:17

Yeah, he didn't get anything. Even the life insurance situation with the veterans is just a joke, but shit happens is the point. So that's all I really want to say about that. As far as the rates, they'll be better again one day. Listen, when I started in the business, the rates were 15 and a half, and the reason I started in the business is because I bought my house and I got screwed. That was the reason for that business.

Speaker 1 2:05:40

You wanted to help other people.

Speaker 2 2:05:41

Yes, they screwed me at the table. Lend more mortgage, and I'm saying it. They were on 106. I sat at the table, my rate was 2% higher than they promised it to be and they charged me 2% more. Two points I didn't have enough money to close and my father wanted to kill me and I didn't know that wasn't your fault.

Speaker 2 2:06:09

Oh, my attorney was an idiot. He should have been. In other words, they should have told me this before I got there. So I was using my last dime and you know what I had to do. I had three credit cards. I took cash advantages on each one of them to close that loan or I was going to lose my down payment.

Speaker 1 2:06:25

And in hindsight would you have done the same thing?

Speaker 2 2:06:30

Um THE Piant to crédç. I loved my house.

Speaker 1 2:06:35

Doesn't matter. Take the emotional attachment out of it. Would you have just waited and gotten, would you? Would the advice to your younger self have been find a different mortgage broker?

Speaker 2 2:06:44

No, my advice to my younger self would have been go get an apartment. You're 21 and go have some formative friends.

Speaker 1 2:06:51

Okay, but you loved your house.

Speaker 2 2:06:54

I loved my house and I couldn't live in my house with my parents anymore because my sister and Charlie moved in.

Speaker 1 2:07:00

Yeah, Charlie used to rev the engine.

Speaker 2 2:07:02

I have the engine underneath where my bedroom. When his car used to warm up the car and I was just getting home, I used to. I'd be working at New York Life and I'd work at the club sometimes and I'd be just getting up and he'd be revving the engine. I'd be like, oh my God, I'm going to kill the man. You know, you're just Charlie. God rest his soul. He fasted too, poor guy. He had a tough time.

Speaker 1 2:07:22

All right, what else you got on that list?

Speaker 2 2:07:26

Actually I didn't have. We really did cover everything. I was going to show you. I mean, seriously speaking, I was just looking at business stuff. I've been I've really been self-employed my whole life. I just thought it would be nice if we went over some stuff. And and to tell you the truth, the question I have for you is oh, he got a question for me. Yeah, I have a question for you.

Speaker 1 2:07:47

Go ahead.

Speaker 2 2:07:50

So, being from a single parent home, what was that like for you?

Speaker 1 2:07:56

I didn't know it any other way, so I didn't know it. With two parents in one house, it wasn't like you guys got divorced when I was 10, 12, 13, 14, 15.

Speaker 2 2:08:04

True.

Speaker 1 2:08:06

I only knew it as mom's house, dad's house.

Speaker 2 2:08:08

Okay, so you could tell me the truth now. Was I a good mom?

Speaker 1 2:08:10

You were an amazing mom.

Speaker 2 2:08:12

You better say that and.

Speaker 1 2:08:13

I wouldn't, I wouldn't. I wouldn't trade you for anybody. I wouldn't trade you for any other parent. I wouldn't. It's been, it's been a good one.

Speaker 2 2:08:19

Well, you know, spiritually, you pick your parents.

Speaker 1 2:08:21

Yes, so there we go, see, I knew, I knew.

Speaker 2 2:08:24

And you did. I will know I can't tell that story because it's very long.

Speaker 1 2:08:27

I should have picked somebody, somebody rich.

Speaker 2 2:08:29

Somebody rich. The Hamptons no way.

Speaker 1 2:08:34

But in all honesty, listen, I've talked about it a lot on the show my childhood I've definitely had some ups and downs mental, physical battles, whatnot just dealing with weird situations that I've been put in, that other children were never put in in my position, in my perspective, true, and I've dealt with a nasty family on dad's side and a caring, loving small family on our side, a father that couldn't really do anything, didn't want to do anything, even if he could. He just makes excuses constantly, even to this day.

Reflections on Differences and Overcoming Challenges

Speaker 1 2:09:05

So you know, it's just, it's more of like. This is this was my journey to navigate and I could have. I could have turned out pretty bad. I really could have. I could have turned out pretty bad. So I know I'm pretty, I'm pretty happy that even through all the trials over the years I've I've always kept my head calm to some extent. I've definitely had my outburst, but it was never violent or anything like that. It was always. You know, we get stressed and you you bottle it up too much and unfortunately sometimes it explodes. But at the same time I've.

Speaker 1 2:09:35

At the same time, I think a lot of my, a lot of my earlier teens, middle teens there's a lot of irritation because of the confusion of having to go to dads and no structure over there. And then coming back to you and it was all structure and all schoolwork and I think that preyed on my mind and I was very anxious when I used to come home used to say you just take me two days, three days, to get back to base level. So I I believe that you know a lot of those things and you know there were some good things that dad did. There were some good things that I can't shit on the man completely. You know like there was sushi nights whenever I'd go to his house for, for to spend the weekend. Love those. We always had fun with that. We bonded over that. We're very different human beings, dad and I, just very different. And I don't think it's just because I grew up with you and grandpa. I believe it's because we're just born and and and and genetically exceptionally different.

Speaker 1 2:10:26

Yeah different people, different way, different brains Senate.

Speaker 2 2:10:30

He was very different when I yeah, Regardless, though it doesn't matter.

Speaker 1 2:10:33

To me it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter what the situation was. I see it at face value for what dad has been to me my entire 32 years on this planet. True, so to me we're just very different and we don't have a lot in common.

Speaker 1 2:10:43

I just don't. I've said that to him multiple times when I have nothing else to say and I'm just like I got nothing to say to you, dad, like you know, I'm trying to, I'm trying to have some common ground to try to get us to have some fun and some similar, and you, just you just don't care, like you don't care, and it's cool, man, just like I'm just trying to be a good son and call you and do that. But that's not what this is. This isn't a. This isn't a therapy session. This is. This is a.

Speaker 1 2:11:05

You deal with, you deal with your lumps and either you either you sit there and you go why, why, why or you go. It's just how the dude is, it is what it is, that's how he is Right and you have to use your brain and go. Okay. Well, it's time for me to to understand that and just move forward at all times and if he's acting like a dick, don't hit him up Like that's, that's it, that's it.

Speaker 1 2:11:26

So I believe that a lot of my earlier teens to middle teens problems though the confusion, like I had said, but mostly was the weight. The weight was a huge problem and the weight came because of stress, eating. It came because you were so structured with health, food and whatnot that I'd go to his house or I'd go to friends houses and I would just fucking gorge, I would eat all the snacks, oh, and I wasn't exercising and the weight just packed, packed, packed, packed, packed until I was ready to pop by 10th grade, I know. So I think that was a huge problem and that started me on the path to, you know, physical fitness, understanding things, and it was a slow path at first, but I Well, the double gym classes with started to, and then I dropped away.

Speaker 2 2:12:07

But then I and handball half.

Speaker 1 2:12:09

Yep, and then I, and then I gained it back over the last, over four, three and a half four years with with my first girlfriend, and then I, then it was the bodybuilding show in in, uh, Connecticut, Connecticut. So I started bodybuilding right when I went away to college and then it was over the course of the next after college.

Speaker 2 2:12:25

Well, your system was all screwed up too.

Pivoting Passions and Family Bond

Speaker 1 2:12:27

But I was just all over the place. So now I've said a lot of times I couldn't be further out of the fitness industry. I really couldn't. Mentally, I just couldn't be further out. I love my people that are in it. I love the people that I fucks with and I support Carruth, uh, e-banks, andre, all all my. You know I love those guys, Every Terrence Ruffin, like I love all. I love all my people. I really do, but I love my people. So sometimes I get asked about other people that I have no idea who they are. So right, and it's it's cause I'm not following the sport anymore. I'm at a different point in my life now. I started the videos and and, and and and you know the podcast and whatnot, and I was deep into the bodybuilding. My brain has pivoted as of the last two years, year and a half.

Speaker 2 2:13:08

Well, who started you?

Speaker 1 2:13:09

What do you mean?

Speaker 2 2:13:10

Who started doing the video stuff? What was your first Right? Wasn't it dead?

Speaker 1 2:13:14

What do you mean?

Speaker 2 2:13:16

Sean.

Speaker 1 2:13:17

Yeah, oh yeah, I thought you built that, bought me my first camera.

Speaker 2 2:13:19

I thought, you were saying yes, no yeah.

Speaker 1 2:13:21

Uh yeah, sean was my first video. Sean Harris rest in peace. It was just his birthday recently and then after that it was. You know, it was just getting new clients and this and that. But I've, uh, I've had epiphanies and eye-opening awakeness. Now, and it's just a change of of journey, that's what I'm saying and I've had, I, I, my brain has changed and pivoted to, to different passions.

Speaker 2 2:13:42

That's what happens. Yes, look at all my jobs. Yeah, but that's what?

Speaker 1 2:13:45

but I'm, but this is what I'm saying. I'm saying that this is what is going on and I'm okay with it. Now I'm in the jujitsu stuff. Now I'm in the fight stuff. I'm going to fight, so I'm going to support those guys. I want to be functional. I want to do sandbag training, I want to do kettlebell training, like these are things that I know that translate to jujitsu and translate to actual strength, versus just sitting in the gym for an hour and a half hitting my arms. I can't do that.

Speaker 2 2:14:06

You remember going to boxing with me.

Speaker 1 2:14:09

Very little bit, very little bit.

Speaker 2 2:14:10

And we went over by. Uh yeah, psyosit, right On 110.

Speaker 1 2:14:13

Well, there was a Psyosit one. What's the one on 110?

Speaker 2 2:14:15

The one on 110 was powerhouse.

Speaker 1 2:14:19

Oh yes, that's right, it was in the back and all the meat.

Speaker 2 2:14:21

They closed that place yeah.

Speaker 1 2:14:22

But that was the spot Sean Harris used to train there before he went to Bev's.

Speaker 2 2:14:25

And that's where we started, you and I, with boxing.

Speaker 1 2:14:27

I'm pretty sure it was a steroid den over there too, because I was doing the boxing. Yeah, it was. Yeah, I'm pretty sure it was a fucking steroid den. That's why they shut him down, but um. I don't know if it was a powerhouse, I think it was a. It was a different gym. It was a different gym Infinity.

Speaker 2 2:14:42

Was it infinity yeah.

Speaker 1 2:14:42

Later in life, later on, it was called infinity, but I forget what it was originally called.

Speaker 2 2:14:47

Is it where Susan goes now? What's it called now?

Speaker 1 2:14:49

No idea where Susan goes, just right by Push. She goes to push. Now, push is different. Push is a little closer.

Speaker 2 2:14:54

No, it's right behind. Refuge is where that was. That's where we used to go. But that's when I brought you to boxing, because I wanted you to get start to get in shape. But I did. When you were small you did all the karate.

Speaker 1 2:15:09

The kung fu.

Speaker 2 2:15:10

The kung fu over in Westbury.

Speaker 1 2:15:11

Well, don't tell Matt, sarah, because I used to tell people that I went to his gym after I went there for that one introductory class. It did go once, one class.

Speaker 2 2:15:18

I know, I think.

Speaker 1 2:15:19

I rolled with his brother. Oh my God, I think I rolled with his brother. I went one class and I never went back. But I told people yeah, I trained you Jitsu, all right bro.

Speaker 2 2:15:27

Yeah, liar, yeah, you're a liar, you're very lucky, nobody took you down, bro.

Speaker 1 2:15:30

She would have been fucked.

Speaker 2 2:15:31

But I was doing kickboxing in your kung fu studio and we would do that for years.

Speaker 1 2:15:35

Yeah, so listen, we've done things, we've pivoted, we've done those were my best kickboxing classes by the way.

Speaker 2 2:15:41

They were great. That was master.

Speaker 1 2:15:43

You gotta get your. What's his name Seehing?

Speaker 2 2:15:45

Seehing, yeah, seehing and seefu. Right, but what was his name? No idea, I was a little ass kid Pee pee Because I don't want to pee.

Speaker 1 2:15:53

Master Peepee. Hopefully he was only giving kickboxing lessons.

Speaker 2 2:15:58

His name started pee. His name started with the pee.

Speaker 1 2:16:00

Oh, and put that fang away, son. I want to hit the fag, not those balls, I think on that note we're going to end. But I love you mom, I appreciate you.

Speaker 2 2:16:11

I love you too, this was great.

Speaker 1 2:16:12

We're going to do another, thank you. We're going to do another episode. We'll do sooner than later.

Speaker 2 2:16:16

Just remember, you picked your parents I didn't even tell the story about you and not my real mom.

Speaker 1 2:16:20

I already told it, oh did you. I told it to you all. Yeah, so we're good. So they know about it. So you're not my real. You're not my real, karen.

Speaker 2 2:16:27

You're not my real mom, but once again, I love you, ma'am, I remember.

Speaker 1 2:16:31

Episode 72. And what do they add up to A?

Speaker 2 2:16:34

nine.

Speaker 1 2:16:35

Yeah, we have to do a feng shui episode.

Speaker 2 2:16:37

Oh, I would love to.

Speaker 1 2:16:37

So let's do that. Next, let's do a feng shui episode. Yeah, your background and that graduate.

Speaker 2 2:16:41

Oh, I forgot that's right Chinese. I went for that whole that Asian feng shui classes and I graduated in 96. That's what I'm saying Anybody even knew what feng shui was. Yep, those were great classes.

Speaker 1 2:16:53

Pioneer. So let's do that. Let's do a feng shui episode. Give them maybe a 30-minute episode. They don't have to be long, just be like a top 10. I'll do your cards. Yeah, we could do cards too. I know some of the girls would love that. So I'll do your cards. Do the cards on camera for a live podcast? Yeah, that'd be fun.

Speaker 2 2:17:09

I'll do them.

Speaker 1 2:17:10

On that note, mother, I will say it.

Speaker 2 2:17:12

Thank you everybody. Thank you, nicholas Salvatore Anthony.

Speaker 1 2:17:16

Rizzo, rizzo, there you go. That's all you got to say I know Not adding.

Speaker 2 2:17:20

No, don't add anything, I'm hungry, let's go have dinner.

Speaker 1 2:17:22

Let's go get pizza or something, oh.

Speaker 2 2:17:24

Pizza Got a cool author.

Speaker 1 2:17:27

Episode 72. I appreciate all you guys. Please keep sharing the episodes. Please make sure that you subscribe, leave comments, show some love for my mom. She came through and she was a stellar guest, as I knew she would be.

Speaker 2 2:17:39

Thank you for inviting me.

Speaker 1 2:17:41

Great conversation, good fun and on that note, peace.