6 Ways to Heal Your Relationship After An Argument

We always can expect our Relationships to go through our ups and downs. But it is our response to our Mate after we have a disagreement that forces us to have an argument. In this Episode, Tony highlights what is almost inevitable in Relationships. That is arguing with your Mate! When you have people who are with each other in the same space for any amount of time, there will be some type argument flaring up. How should we react after the argument? What will be our next steps once the argument is done? Does it automatically place us in divorce court? Or are there Ways for us to Heal after the Argument? Tony will be showing us  these Ways! But it may require some humility from at least one of you if not both of you. Don't give a good Relationship just because you don't always see eye to eye. Listen to the tools that are being given during this Episode.

6 Ways to Heal Your Relationship After An Argument:

1.  You Both Should Take A Timeout in Order to Calm Down

2.  Make Sure To Extend An Olive Branch to Your Mate

3.  Actively Share Your Point of Views on the Matter


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Transcript

SPEAKER_01: 0:02

When we find ourselves in a good relationship, we better do everything in our power to keep it going. Despite what people seem to think about relationships, problems do occur in good relationships. The key thing in having the problems, we should never let the problems that we have in our relationships dictate the end of the relationship. Yes, there will be arguments that will have both of us feeling some type of way. However, when you understand that this is not about the ending of the relationship, instead, it is a building block to strengthen the relationship. You'll better understand what it is about being in that relationship with your significant other. The Relationship Therapy Podcast will display to you ways to heal your relationship after an argument.

SPEAKER_00: 1:07

You've tuned into the Relationship Therapy Podcast with Tony Miller Sr. A podcast designed for couples who are married, couples who are dating, and have marriage in their future. We will guide you to the principles that will make your relationship better. Stick around.

SPEAKER_01: 1:58

And we're getting ready to close out season three. That's right. We're getting ready to close out season three, but I've got a good episode for you. Matter of fact, let me start out this episode by asking you a few questions. Do you think that you and your mate have a good relationship? That's right. You heard it correctly. Do you think that you and your mate have a good relationship? Notice I didn't say perfect, but I did ask whether it is good. While you ponder on that, here's the second question that I have for you. Is that good relationship that you have, and I hope you do have a good one, is there a time where you have arguments or disagreements on different subject matter or issues within your relationship? Come on, I want you to be honest. Let me state something real quick here before we go any deeper. Just because there are arguments in your relationship, it doesn't take away from your relationship being good. It doesn't mean that your relationship's not good. All it means is that there are two people who have differing opinions about something and they cannot find common ground. Anytime that you are in a relationship with somebody or around somebody a decent amount of time, there will be some disagreement about something. You will not see eye to eye every single time. The major part about arguments is the bounce back after it happens. There is a way for us to bounce back to have our relationship going stronger and not lingering with the hurt or even having an extended amount of time in our pain. So stay with us in this episode as we discover the six ways to heal your relationship after an argument. Now, in this episode, we're going to give you three, and then next week you're going to have to tune in for the next three. It's not exactly what you think when we say how to heal your relationship after an argument. So you're going to want to listen closely to this episode. So stay with us. And here we go. As we begin to talk about the six ways to heal your relationship after an argument, and this week we're giving you three. Remember that. And next episode, we're going to give you three more. Let's start out with this number one. You both should take a time out in order to calm down. You both should take a timeout in order to calm down. It doesn't matter who started it. It is very effective if both of you can calm down, because maybe one or both of you became heated during the confrontation. Before you start saying something that will prove to be detrimental to the feelings of each other, please take a time out. Words actually hurt despite what the old saying says, that names and words could never hurt you. Words can do extensive damage to the person you love. When you try to resolve the issue that caused the argument in the first place, and you both are still on edge, it only can cause it to make things worse. That's why I'm an advocate of taking a time out. I'm sure one of you will be tempted to have the attitude of saying, let's just get this thing fixed right now. All that does is possibly exacerbate the situation even more than it already is. This timeout period doesn't mean that it's over and you'll never discuss it again, but that hopefully both of you have calmed down enough to avoid being adversarial toward each other when you do discuss it. I have found that having serious but respectful conversations leads us towards solving the conflict, or at the very least, it removes some of the negativity from the disagreement. Now I'm sure that you're asking, what should be the length of the timeout? I believe that depends on the couple themselves. Because you know one another. You know how long it takes for each other to calm down. For some couples, it could take 10 minutes, and then you can go with those 10 minutes. But for other couples, it could take a few hours. Still, there may be some couples that it may need to be two days, and that's dependent upon the subject matter in the disagreement. If it goes past two days, you have a deeper problem that we'll have to discuss at another time. It is unfair to try to push your mate into trying to discuss it while they're still upset. Let's be fair to each other as you both decide when it is best to come back together to seek to resolve a serious issue that is going on within your relationship. And why do I say it's serious? It's serious enough for you to argue about it. But you owe it to one another to work it out. Don't let one argument that you two have disrupt the foundation and the relationship that you've built together. Let's keep going. Here is the second way to heal your relationship after an argument. Make sure to extend an olive branch to your mate. Maybe not everyone understands what an olive branch is, so let me explain it another way. After there is an argument, we tend to hold on to the feelings from what happened during the argument. But during the timeout period, tell your mate that you're sorry that the whole thing happened. This will take some humility, especially if you're not the one that started it. But it will lower the temperature some if you and your mate are serious about each other. It should be done sincerely and convincingly. If it is done without either of those two, it will only cause more damage to an already volatile situation. I'm sure many of you are asking, why should I be the one to extend the olive branch even when I didn't start it? And here's the answer to that question. That person is the one you have committed your life to. It would be shameful to let your relationship slip away just because of an argument, and one of you has to be the bigger person, and that one person should be you. Now I know certain subjects in arguments, certain topics, you may need more time to extend the olive branch, but in smaller cases, you extend the olive branch because all that apologizing now does is acknowledge that you both said some things that were painful and hurtful to each other, and that pain still exists. You're letting your mate know that you still care about them and that you want the relationship to heal. That right there is the most important thing for your mate to hear. All this does again is invite your mate to calm down and be ready to discuss it in a civil way instead of hollering at each other. I have talked often about learning to apologize to your mate after you have done something wrong. But when words have been shared and they were not comforting to each other, please find a way to say that I'm sorry. It will go a long way toward getting to the bottom of the issue without it going any further. I don't think we love to argue, or do we? If so, that's for another topic and another episode. And now we've come to way number three of how to heal your relationship after an argument. But before we talk about number three, let's talk about the first two we've already uh had some information on. The first one was you both should take a time out in order to calm down. I just finished talking about make sure to extend an olive branch to your mate. And here is the third way to heal your relationship after an argument. Actively share your point of views on the matter. I think I need to repeat that. Actively share your point of views on the matter. Once you both are back together to discuss the matter, please give each other the floor to share their views on the matter. Not only give them the floor, but do not interrupt them while they're speaking. This is important to your mate because it doesn't break their train of thought or it allows them to feel like they're not being taken seriously. The mate who is not speaking should be in their active listening mode. If you're unfamiliar with what active listening is, please go back to season two's episode 10, where I talked about the steps to active conversations. I believe it can help us a great deal when we get back to discuss the matter. When you get the opportunity to share your point of view, you must start by speaking your truth, but you must not have or you must not be throwing blame at your mate. Right now, you're speaking your case and making your case without trying to push blame on your mate. The fewer finger pointing that you have, the better it will be. Here is something else that could help you share your viewpoint. Buy into not using you statements. What I mean by that, when you're starting off your statements by saying you always, you never, you did. When you say this to your mate, it automatically has your mate putting up a defensive mode that could shut them down permanently and actually raise the level of the argument. You can start using the I statements. I feel this way. This is what I see. This is what I've experienced. Because you're expressing how you feel. That right there will assist the civility to move along and could genuinely have your mate listening a little bit better than usual. We have to start using different words to benefit our relationships. We have to be careful what we say to one another because, as I said before, words do hurt. Too many relationships go up in smoke because we have not learned how to communicate and listen effectively. You can express yourself, but don't attack your mate during your expression. You both should be trying to work together to fix what has caused the distance between you. So please don't let your relationship be another relationship casualty because you cannot communicate or you cannot listen effectively. That's a must in order to accomplish your goal of healing your relationship after an argument. Well, that's it. That's all I have for you. I thank you for listening. Like I said earlier, we're getting ready to shut down season three, and we're gonna have a hiatus where we're gonna be getting prepared for season four. But I'm just so thankful for all of my listeners who are there every episode tuning in, even those who are giving me feedback. I love your feedback. Please give me your feedback and it lets me know how I'm doing, whether I'm reaching somebody who needs to hear this. So give me your feedback. The announcer is going to give you my email address. And if you have something you want to say or even a topic you want me to cover, let me know through that email that my announcer gives you. Well, that's it. I thank you again for listening. And as always, please remember, it takes two to make a relationship work.

SPEAKER_00: 16:36

Thank you for listening to the Relationship Therapy Podcast with Tony Miller Sr. We hope you have enjoyed this episode. Tune in next time for more insight on how to make your relationship better. If you have any questions, please email us at tmrelationship therapy at gmail.com. We would love to hear from you. Until next time, remember, it takes two to make the relationship work.