Real Talk with Life After Grief Chris
Real Talk with Life After Grief Chris
From Therapy Notes to Author: The Accidental Book Journey
What happens when years of therapeutic writing suddenly resurfaces as the foundation for a transformative book? In this deeply personal episode, Chris reveals his journey into authorship after discovering eight detailed chapters he'd written during trauma therapy years ago—writing he had no memory of creating.
The decision to transform these raw materials into a published book wasn't made lightly. After careful consideration and encouragement from those closest to him, Chris shares his twofold purpose: creating a lasting legacy for his sons while simultaneously helping both grieving clients and the financial advisors who serve them. This book represents the culmination of his life's work—turning personal trauma into what one client recently called his "Superman powers" to quickly understand, empathize with, and guide others through their grief journey.
Chris takes us behind the scenes of his publishing journey, from vetting potential publishers through extensive reference checks to selecting a ghostwriter who will help compile his existing material from 93 podcast episodes and countless client interactions. We hear how a simple interaction with a 10-year-old who recognized him from his podcast reinforced the impact his story already has on others. The episode concludes with news that this is the season finale, with more updates on the book's progress coming when the podcast returns in the fall.
Have you found meaning through your own grief journey? Share your thoughts and follow along as Chris transforms his personal experiences into a resource that will help others navigate life after grief. Subscribe now to be notified when we return with more insights and updates on Chris's book writing process.
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Welcome to Real Talk with Life After Grief Chris, where we talk about relevant issues as it relates to individuals in grief as they navigate finances and the advisors who help them. We help clients in grief navigate financial matters. We also teach advisors how to emotionally and financially work with clients in grief through an unparalleled process to emotionally and financially work with clients in grief through an unparalleled process. This week's podcast is sponsored by Life After Grief Financial Planning and Life After Grief Consulting.
Speaker 2:Hello and welcome back to another episode of Real Talk with Life After Grief. Chris, I'm pretty excited about this podcast. Bet you didn't know that I'm in the process of writing a book. I'm going to say that again. I bet you didn't know that I'm in the process of writing a book. I'm going to tell you about the process, I'm going to tell you about what the book is about and I'm going to tell you about the purpose of the book.
Speaker 2:So during the course of therapy most folks know that I've been to extensive therapy through all the trauma and the tragic stuff that I've seen in my life and experienced. And so through the course of therapy, man, probably six years ago, seven years ago, I started writing and for me it was really just therapeutic and I began writing chapters about kind of the start of the trauma in my life and I think I can nail it back to when I had meningitis, the first trauma that I experienced. And through the course of writing I didn't remember writing any of these chapters and I take it to a point, probably within the last year, I was like man, let me start writing and see where this process goes. So I put in my computer chapter one. For some reason I put chapter one and it popped up and I was like that's interesting and I read it and I was like, well, I guess I did write that it was very, very specific and I did that process through eight chapters. I had no recollection of me writing the eight chapters and for me, writing was a source of putting all of these memories as I was going through my EMDR therapy and some other things that I was going through on a shelf to get these things out, to help me progress through the things that I was going through and to help me heal. And as I was going back this was recently and some time ago I realized how specific some of those memories were and I was even shocked. It was almost like an out-of-body experience.
Speaker 2:So, fast forward to probably two, three months ago, I was approached by a publisher and they did a 30 second interview with me and they turned around a summary within 12 hours. Now I'm smart enough to know better I'm not a writer and I won't proclaim to be a writer that I did not believe that someone could turn around write a summary of my spoken word in 12 hours. And I actually asked the publishing outfit and they said that there was a bit of AI used, and so I'm someone that's a little bit old school in certain dynamics. I don't want AI to write anything for me in regards to my spoken word or anything that comes out in kind of this format. So I've been also encouraged to seriously consider writing a book by some folks that know me, that are very, very close to me and they have really put all the pieces of my life together, and there's a lot that's on either social media or on podcast or through blogs, but there's a lot there, and I went back recently and there were, I believe, 93 podcasts that I did. So there's a lot of just different things that I've experienced, and I add people in and we have similar experiences and we talk about that, and I took the leap of faith, with some strong encouragement, to go ahead and start this process formally.
Speaker 2:I had already had a lot of written material, and the number one question that I was asked was why are you looking to do this? And first and foremost, I said I want to have a legacy for my boys. I want them to really understand that who their father really is and the things that he's really gone through, and come out the other side and to some extent been dealt a disadvantage and still came out on the other side. Their dad made a decision to be a better person than the product of his environment. The other aspect is I help a lot of people in my professional life and so I wanted a format to where I could really articulate that from again, my word and the things that I have been through individually and the people that have helped me and how I've come out the other side and hence life after grief and there's a progression in my life and a lot of things that have happened. But my hope and what I've been told is the way that I've conducted myself and had all of these tragic, traumatic experiences and I've translated those into a gift.
Speaker 2:I was actually talking to a client today in my financial practice that said and I'm kind of hesitating saying this but she said use your Superman powers. And I said my Superman powers are a product of everything that I've been through and I can quickly turn things around with this particular client. She experienced the loss of her mother and she had an expectation and I said it's a fair expectation to come to me, listen to you, hear you and extract the important things to help you out immediately and that's in a financial sense, and I said that's a fair expectation. And I don't think she wanted to own up to it, but I said it's a fair expectation. That's why you come to me and immediately I'm snapping my fingers. After our conversation, she had a plan of action to go forward. Now I'm going to help her with this process and I gave her a little bit of homework and I was very sensitive and the dynamics of her mother passing away and a lot of the things that I teach I obviously put into practice, but I was going to help her out. And so her hearing my story, her listening to my podcast she had said I listen to your podcast when I need help.
Speaker 2:I want to be a source of light to folks that either have nowhere else to go or want to assimilate themselves with someone that's had a like experience. I'm not going to say the same experience, but a similar experience and a similar train of thought and brain fog and everything that comes along with that. That Also. I'm taking that a step further in the dynamic that I train other advisors to do exactly what I do. I can't expect anyone to follow the process that I do and I can't expect anyone to walk in my shoes, but what I can do is lay the foundation for other people meaning financial advisors, certified financial planners and other professionals to follow the process that I do, to help out clients and to make their life seamless, just like the client that I worked with today. And so it's twofold. So I'm writing it outside of the aspect for a legacy for my boys, but to help out clients and then also motivate and help financial advisors and certified financial planners and that dynamic.
Speaker 2:So I have some funny things to tell you about this process. I've selected a publisher. I'm self-publishing, but I needed some help with a publishing outfit and I'm also going to be using a ghostwriter. Now I have a lot of written material and a lot of podcast material. My use of a ghostwriter is really to interview me and compile all this information, which I had no idea that I had all of this information until I started doing the research.
Speaker 2:But the funny aspect is, after this publishing outfit that did the initial summary interviewed me, I was like, well, I need to make a decision whether I'm going to get serious about this process. So then I reached out to three other firms One of the firms was a well-known publishing firm Didn't work out and they weren't the right fit for me and it was a really cookie cutter the process with this other firm I'm not going to name them and they just weren't. It wasn't a good fit for me and if you've heard me and you've listened to me, I'm very detail oriented and I'm very specific and that wasn't a very good match for that publishing house. The third one, I guess I could say that I reached out to. They weren't, just weren't very receptive. And then the fourth one that I reached out to, something that I knew in my heart is that anyone that I work with on a professional level, they have to want to know Chris Dale and they have to want to know how I think and what makes me and what motivates me. And what motivates me is helping other people and using this gift that I've been given and I feel that I'm obligated to share this gift and bestow it on other people and I'm very, very excited about this process.
Speaker 2:So the publisher that I selected, she came her firm, I should say, came highly recommended and I verify references and I do a lot of background checking. I do that kind of in my professional and as well as I did reference checks extensively with the publishing houses that I was looking to work with, and you would be amazed at the information that you find out through references. One of the references that I spoke with, one of the publishing houses, gave me some specific on information on contracts that this publisher no longer offers or was reluctant to offer. Another one was reluctant to give me references, and so you can see how I'm starting to rule publishing companies out. And then another one just didn't get back with me, but the one that I selected. They gave me five or six references. Every one of the references came by word of mouth, meaning they were referred, and I was subsequently referred to this publisher and I'm going to keep this under wraps until I get a little bit further.
Speaker 2:I'm going to keep you in a little bit of suspense in regards to who my publisher is, but I can say they are as equally excited as I am for the process, and so I officially signed a contract with them a few days ago and the specifics. My attorney looked at the contract and gave me some recommendations and gave me some recommendations and obviously their attorney drafted their contract and we came to an agreement in regards to some things that I wanted in the contract. That were some items that were not necessarily in there, but it was just for my individual taste and man, I'm really excited about the process of getting this off the ground and really helping folks. On another level, and I've known a handful of people that have written books and I've learned a lot from the folks that have written books and I'm not going to go into all that detail. As I get through the next season of my podcast, I'm going to be giving some information leading up to different milestones with the book in particular, but I've committed to the process. I'm very, very excited and I'm more excited that this is going to be another avenue to help clients and it's going to be able to help financial folks be in a better position to help their clients in grief or going through some transition in their life and it having to deal with money. So that's really exciting for me. So I hope I can get you as excited about this process as I am and as I share it with more people, I get a lot more ideas and I get a lot more energy and, as I'm going through the process, I'll have a better idea of where we're at and the timeline of, you know, different milestones of the book and potentially a release date at some point hopefully sooner than later and so, man, I'm really excited. So I appreciate all of the support from folks that follow me, whether it's on social media or whether it's through my podcast, and I have a funny story for you.
Speaker 2:So I was at a wedding this weekend in Fort Lauderdale and one of the cousins he's 10 years old, so he's the same age as my 10 year old son he comes up to me and he calls me Mr Chris and I'm not sure why he calls me Mr Chris, but it's a form of respect instead of just calling me Chris. So he says Mr Chris, mr Chris, I've seen you online and I've seen I'm laughing because he's I've seen your videos and I've seen your podcast, and I was like, yeah, are you sure it was me? And he's like, yeah, yeah, yeah, it's you. And then we kind of separate and go our own different ways, and so he comes back, he runs up to me and says this is you, this is you, this is when you're recording for your podcast. And so that was a lot of fun for me when he said that and again, the reason that I do this is very genuine and is because I want to help other people, but it brings it really home when there's a child that sees that and recognizes it and that's pretty cool. So I thought I'd share that with you.
Speaker 2:So, more to come on the book writing no-transcript, and I gave you the example of my client and how I helped her. Today and as I'm talking about this, I'm actually looking at myself, smile, so a lot of energy and I'm really, really excited and I think I could say that enough. Please note that this will be the final podcast of the season and we will return in the fall with more exciting episodes and more information on me writing a book. Cheers, be well.
Speaker 1:Thanks for listening to our podcast. If you are a client and are looking to work directly with Chris and or our firm, head on over to Life After Grief FP. That is Life After Grief FP. The FP is for financial planning. If you are an advisor looking to emotionally and financially work with your client in grief, or if you are a client looking to get your advisor's head in the game, head on over to LifeAfterGriefConsultingcom. That is LifeAfterGriefConsultingcom. That is lifeaftergriefconsultingcom. Any related information referenced in this week's podcast will be located here in the podcast section.