What Does it Mean Survivors Don't Self-Identify as Being Trafficked? - Resilience & Relationships (R&R) - Stephanie Olson

In this conversation, Stephanie Olson discusses the complexities of self-identification among individuals who have experienced human trafficking. She shares personal stories and insights into how trauma affects one's perception of victimization and the importance of education and training in recognizing and addressing these issues. The conversation emphasizes the need for compassion, understanding, and support for survivors, as well as the intrinsic value of every individual regardless of their experiences.

Takeaways

Most individuals don't self-identify as being trafficked.
Traffickers often build strong relationships with their victims.
The grooming process can alter a person's self-perception.
Survivors may blame themselves for their experiences.
Education on human trafficking is crucial for awareness.
Consent is a vital concept that can be misunderstood.
Many survivors only recognize their victimization years later.
Intrinsic value is a fundamental concept for healing.
Training is essential for those working with at-risk populations.
Compassion and support can significantly impact a survivor's recovery.

Chapters

00:00 Understanding Self-Identification in Human Trafficking
09:56 The Impact of Trauma on Self-Perception
15:27 R&R Outro.mp4

Transcript

Stephanie Olson (00:01.048)
Hello, it's Stephanie Olson and welcome to R &R resilience and relationships. I'm so glad that you're here with me. You know, one of the things that I thought it would be important to talk about is one of the questions I get all of the time, which is when we talk about the fact that human trafficked individuals don't typically self-identify as being trafficked. So.

For example, they don't recognize that they're being victimized. Now there's a few reasons behind that and I'll share those. But then I want to share a personal story with you that kind of goes into detail about why that is happening. So I'm just going to be very vulnerable with you today. And if you've heard some of the past podcasts, you will know some of the story, but I just want to explain what that means. Now,

The reason that most individuals don't self-identify as being trafficked is because the trafficker typically does a very good job of either building a strong relationship with that individual. So this is my romantic partner. This is a good friend of mine. Or they already have a relationship like familial trafficking. This is my mom and dad or grandma and grandpa or whatever the case may be.

Or maybe they have, you know, given them a job and they don't necessarily recognize that it is illegal to do certain things. And so we even see that with teenagers, with the labor laws in Nebraska, for example, you have to be 18 plus. And I don't know.

the laws offhand, like the back of my hand. So if I am saying something wrong, feel free to let me know, but just have some grace here. But I think it's 18 plus. If you're below 18, you can't work any more than a certain amount of hours. You can't work past eight o'clock. You can't use big machinery, which, for example, if you're working in a fast food restaurant,

Stephanie Olson (02:25.632)
might be the ice cream machine. And so it could be as simple as that. But there are laws to protect us from illegal labor practices. So for all those reasons, somebody may not recognize that they are being victimized.

So I have had people ask, well, what in the world does that look like? Do you mean they don't know that they're having relations with? And just let me say, I am going to be editing out some of the words because YouTube particularly doesn't necessarily like some of the words. so

If for example, you have a question about what we're talking about, please shoot us an email at info at set me free project.net or reach out to us through the podcast or whatever the case may be or on YouTube. We're happy to clarify in any, any way that we need to. But the reason we're not using specific words is because of the algorithm. So any who's ease.

So it's not that they don't know that they're having an act with 30 people in a day. They obviously know that. But with the grooming process, and I always say the person who goes into the grooming process is never the same person that comes out of the grooming process. It really does change who a person is and changes how they see themselves and how they view things.

So it's very possible that they know exactly what's happening. They just don't recognize that number one, it is called trafficking or number two, that this isn't my choice, that this may be something I'm being coerced into doing. Now, I have shared in the past that I am a survivor of

Stephanie Olson (04:45.707)
of second of.

Stephanie Olson (04:50.862)
I have shared in the past that I am a survivor of SA and of domestic violence. And so I was not trafficked. However, I have experience as a survivor in those things. And I was essayed from the time that through a period of time from high school through my early 20s several times.

four, in fact.

I am also a recovering alcoholic. And so during those times, many of those times, not all of them, but many of those times I was drinking or I was drunk or I was on some sort of substance, whether drugs or alcohol, that definitely challenged my cognitive.

Stephanie Olson (05:55.352)
I was on some sort of substance, whether drugs or alcohol, that absolutely affected my ability to consent. Now, consent is asking permission for anything. And so it's an exuberant yes that you are saying, and you can release or say no at any point. And so you can say yes, and then

at any time you can say no and you are no longer giving consent. And so that's an important thing to understand if we talk about that. But during my experience, I had been essayed several times. Now, one of the times was very, for lack of a better word, classic, very, like, no question that that's what it was. And it was essay. And

Stephanie Olson (06:58.142)
And a few other times I was in a situation where I had been drinking and still essay. But what I had told myself was that it was my fault. So I knew what happened. What I didn't recognize is that it was essay. I thought that it was something I had chosen or something that I had

whether I would have called it consent at the time, I had, it was my fault that it happened because I was drunk or because I was in the wrong place at the wrong time or whatever the case may be. And it wasn't until many years later, in fact, I was doing this work and I was training with a trauma therapist at one point and we were kind of tag teaming a conversation surrounding HT.

and trauma and what that looked like and how you could help train people in a trauma-informed lens or work with people in a trauma-informed lens. And I don't even remember what she said, but she said something and it hit me like a ton of bricks. my gosh, that is exactly what happened to me.

Now I knew those had been experiences of mine. What I didn't know is that it was essay. And I think that's exactly what happens to individuals who are trafficked. It's not that they don't know it's happening. It's that they don't recognize that it is what it is. And so, so often when we're

training people, whether it be youth, whether it be adults or whatever the case may be, we will have people approach us and say, my gosh, I am just realizing now that that is what I experienced. We had one young person approach us and say, my gosh, I just realized I was trafficked by my mom. We had somebody who

Stephanie Olson (09:21.75)
approached us and said, my gosh, I didn't realize that that's how it was happening. That's what that was. And so when we say people don't self-identify as being trafficked, it simply means they don't recognize that that is what it is and that they are actually being victimized that

They are survivors of something so incredibly heinous and that there is help out there. So I just want to share that because it is important to recognize that most people don't self-identify when they're being trafficked. And if you were to approach somebody, which I don't recommend, but say, are you being trafficked? Their answer would probably be no. And it's not because they don't know.

It might not even be because they're afraid, but it's because they... and it's not because they're afraid necessarily.

It might just be they don't know. And so I wanted to share my story a little bit on how it is that people might not know. Now, here's the other thing. I've heard people say like, well, we don't really want to educate people on human trafficking, on HT, because we should let them find out for themselves, or we don't want to interfere.

with the idea that we get away or get in the way of people who want to do S work. And I think that we have to be really careful that we're not eliminating an opportunity for someone to get help. And I know personally, if somebody would have just shared with me that, hey, that wasn't your fault.

Stephanie Olson (11:31.786)
you didn't deserve that. And what that was, was not a choice you made, but it was actually essay. And it was perpetrated against you. If somebody would have said that to me, can you imagine the years that I wouldn't have had to blame myself, that I wouldn't have had to feel like a horrible person for what I thought I did?

and that I could have started healing at a much, much younger age than I actually did. And so I want to be really mindful as we go through these podcasts and as we talk about some of this stuff or even as you're getting trained on these things, that these are individuals who may not see themselves

with value and with worth and with human dignity. The reason when I founded the Set Me Free project that I felt the need to have that bottom line be you have value, an intrinsic value that no one can change, that I wanted the foundation of everything we taught to be you have an intrinsic value, worth, human dignity that no one can change, that

that it doesn't matter what people do to you, it doesn't matter what you do, that doesn't change. The reason that I wanted that to be the case is because I didn't know that. I didn't recognize that I had an intrinsic value that couldn't be changed. And I had so much shame and I had so much regret of the things I had done in my life and thought, well, I don't deserve much more.

And I think it's so important to understand that when we're dealing with people who have experienced trauma like that, we need to recognize that we may not understand their experience. We may not understand how they feel. We may not understand what it actually means to not self-identify as something, but we can still have compassion. We can build healthy relationships with those people.

Stephanie Olson (13:57.036)
We can provide love and resources and ear and maybe even help. That's why it's so important to, think, for organizations to be trained for that that don't necessarily work in this, but companies to be trained because you have staff that may have experienced this is why all school personnel should be trained. This is why churches should be trained.

places of worship, just anybody who serves youth, young adults, human beings, I don't know, because it really is hard to understand. And until you have had some training on that, it can be really challenging. So I challenge you to get trained in this. And if you have questions, reach out to us at any time. That is what we are here for. We want to help. We want to make a difference.

for individuals who are experiencing SA and HT and all of the things. We want to make a difference for you, people who have relationships with those people, because it is something that we are seeing so much about. And people are not willing to talk about it just openly without knowing that they have a safe place that they can actually get help.

So that is it. It's a quick one today. I just really wanted to share what it meant to not self-identify as being trafficked, but also not self-identify as any S violence or any domestic violence. So often we don't see ourselves in that light because we either blame ourselves or somebody has really made it.

really clear in the grooming process that this is all it is and this is all we will get. with that, I just want to say thank you and get some R &R. Enjoy your day and we'll see you next time. Bye.