The Couch Critic
The Couch Critic is your laid-back guide to movies and TV shows that deserve your attention—or maybe don’t. Nathan dives deep into storytelling, character development, and cinematic style with a sharp eye and a wry sense of humor. Whether it’s a blockbuster hit, a hidden gem, or a cult classic, Nathan’s relatable approach ensures every episode feels like a cozy chat with a friend who just happens to love film. Perfect for casual watchers and cinephiles alike, The Couch Critic brings thoughtful critique without the fluff. Grab your favorite snack, settle in, and let Nathan guide you through the world of screen entertainment.
The Couch Critic
Cinema Saturday: Exploring "The Damned" - A Descent into Madness
What if the choices of one person could unravel the fabric of an entire community? That’s the provocative question driving this week's fiery episode of Cinema Saturday, where I, Nathan, share a visceral reaction to "The Damned." Join me just hours after watching this infuriating film, as I recount the tale of a 19th-century widow whose consistent bad decision-making spirals her Icelandic fishing village into chaos. Whether it's the eerie encounters with potential zombies or the stubborn refusal to heed dire warnings, the film's themes of survival, leadership, and superstition are nothing short of maddening. Dive into my immediate reactions and discover why this narrative left me on the edge of frustration.
But it’s not all doom and gloom—there’s light at the end of the cinematic tunnel. While I wrestle with the depths of disappointment in "The Damned," excitement brews for future episodes filled with more uplifting movie experiences. Although the next film review remains under wraps, a tantalizing debate awaits on the horizon: Does "Lethal Weapon" earn its stripes as a Christmas classic? This upcoming conversation promises to challenge your perceptions and keep your love for cinema alive. Tune in for engaging discussions that celebrate both the triumphs and the pitfalls of filmmaking, sparking conversation and exploring the nuances of every film that captures our curiosity.
The weekend's here. It's time to unwind. Grab your snacks, leave the week behind. Blockbusters classics, they're all on the way. Let's kick it off with Cinema Saturdays.
Speaker 2:Hello everyone, welcome to another Cinema Saturday presented by the Couch Critic, that is me, your host, nathan, and on today's episode I'm talking about a movie that I had to talk about shortly after I came home from watching it. So I saw this movie by the time I'm recording this a few hours before I started recording. So I gave myself some time to cool down and think about it and evaluate my thoughts, and I still came to the same conclusion that this movie was stupid, and the movie I'm talking about is the Damned. But before I can talk about my mostly dislikes, I have to go over the synopsis. A 19th century widow has to make an impossible choice when, during an especially cruel winter, a foreign ship sinks off the coast of her Icelandic fishing village. The Dam stars Odessa Young, joe Cole, lewis Gribben and Silvan Fenneran. So this movie, like I said last Saturday, is a movie I knew nothing about. I had read one of the synopsis for this movie and I didn't want to know much about it. This movie made me very angry one it's, you know, it's a movie that we've seen many times before, where the main character makes a stupid decision and gets almost everybody killed and there's no clear reason for why this character doesn't listen to anyone, because literally everything somebody says is a much better idea than what she ends up deciding to do. So I'm just going to tell you right now, spoiler alert, spoiler alert, spoiler alert. Spoiler alert to suggest that the ones who are quote-unquote the damned are the people surrounded by this woman, this woman character, who for some reason is in charge and gets to make all the decisions. Everything has to be run by her, all the decisions, everything has to be run by her. And I guess it's because the boat that they use was owned by her husband, who passed away. And so she gets to make all the decisions because now the boat's hers. But every decision she makes is a horrible one and, like I said before, it literally gets everyone except two guys killed in the end. And it could it, it could have gone one way. I talked to my wife about it A little bit and she agreed that I needed to go ahead and record before All of my Anger and frustration Went away and I didn't remember why I didn't like the movie. So kudos to my wife For suggesting me talk about it right now.
Speaker 2:There was a Christian character. I'm assuming he was a Christian. He was talking about how they needed to ask for forgiveness for not helping the people who sank in that ship at the beginning of the movie, and he gave the suggestion to build a cross on the hillside so that god can shine his grace and forgiveness down on them. And everyone ignored him. Everyone told him no, that was a bad idea. And they went about and did their own thing, which got, one by one, people killed.
Speaker 2:So this movie starts with them on this island and they see a ship sink into the sea and one of the guys is like, hey, we need to go them. We need to go see if we can save some people. And one of the other guys is like no, we hardly have any food. So he's making somewhat of a reasonable argument as to why they probably shouldn't try to save all of them, but I do feel like they could have gone and maybe saved a few of the people on that ship. And the guy was like well, you know what? It's not your decision, it's actually hers, because they're Irish. It's actually her decision. And so they look at her and she says he's right, we can't help these people, we have to save our food. Okay, help these people, we have to save our food. Okay, so that's the first decision she makes that. You know you can justify that. Maybe that wasn't a totally bad decision, even though they let people die.
Speaker 2:But then later on she finds a barrel on the shore and I'm assuming this barrel is from that ship that sank. And so she gets the idea to go to the shipwreck to see what else they can find. And do they do this during the day? No, the ship sank during the day and it probably would have been safer to go and help those people during the day, because then they could see. Probably would have been safer to go and help those people during the day because then they could see. But no, they decide to do this at nighttime, where all they have is a lantern to guide the way. And they get to the shipwreck location and they find one box and they find some survivors from the shipwreck who are asking for help and instead of helping them they decide to try to go back. And of course the people want to want to be saved, and so they jump and they try to get in the boat and they try, and they try, and they try and they keep hitting them with the oars, and then one guy stabs one of the guys in the face and I'm just like, oh my gosh, but it gets worse. It really gets worse.
Speaker 2:Okay, so these bodies, they go on to the shore, they put them in coffins which you know is a nice thing to do and then there's a stereotypical, creepy old lady who tells them we better do all these other ritual stuff, the superstitious stuff, so they don't come back to life as, basically, zombies. And the woman who makes all the decisions says no, that's not really what we're gonna do. So what happens? The zombies come and, one by one, they drive the people insane. And then one of the guys says we need to leave, and the main character says no, that's not a good idea. Maybe we should go to this really cold place and figure out a way to kill these zombie people. And so they go to this place and the Christian guy's like this is a goldless place. And the main character says well, that's why we're here. I'm like what, what does that even mean? What does that even mean? And so, of course, they go to this place and the guy that made the suggestion to leave jumps off a cliff and dies.
Speaker 2:So then they go back to the house and didn't didn't do diddly squat at this place that they went to, and she says I think it's time to leave. What? Why didn't you make that? Why didn't you agree with the guy when he? I was, that's how I felt this entire movie and I was just shaking my head the whole time. I was like you've got to be kidding me. And the last thing that happens in this movie is she's in this house and she thinks she sees the creepy zombie guy and she shoots him and puts fuel on him and set the house on fire and she thinks she did this great thing. But then she realizes that she was slowly going insane and found the guy who had stolen their food earlier in the film I didn't really mention that because it was stupid, and the fact that he just randomly shows up in this house at the end of the movie was pretty stupid too. And she realizes that she killed an innocent man and the camera slowly goes to close up to her face and that's the end of the movie. The lights came up and everyone in the theater either was like me and was cracking up laughing because of how stupid it was, or we, or they just sat there in silence because they can't believe they just watched that piece of crap, this movie. It was so dumb that I'm giving it the first .5 out of 5 stars on a Cinema Saturday
Speaker 2:episode. Don't waste your
Speaker 2:time. I wanted to try to see something different. I don't want to see just the big blockbuster movies. I want to give indie movies a chance. This was an indie. I would consider this an independent film, and the next movie I'm going to review I don't know what it is as of the time of recording, because it is going to be a screen unseen film, so that could be a hit or miss. I want to give every movie a chance be a hit or miss. I want to give every movie a chance, but I'm I'm I'm regretting the fact that I gave this one a
Speaker 2:chance. It was terrible. It was, uh, it was pretty bad. It was, it was a terrible movie. So that is my thoughts on the damned, and I cannot give you a ear peek of what I'm going to be reviewing next week because, like I said, I don't know what it is yet. The screen and scene movies have mostly been hits for me, so I'm cautiously optimistic as to what movie I'm going to be watching and so you can listen to my thoughts on Lethal Weapon. Is it a Christmas movie? On Tuesday's episode of the Couch Critic where every movie gets its close-up.
Speaker 1:So grab a seat, let the credits play. We'll see you next for Cinema Saturdays.
