Your Joyful Order With Leslie Martinez

#129 Quarterback Daddy: The Influence of a Father’s Love and Leadership with Cliff Wright

• Leslie Martinez • Season 6 • Episode 129

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Fatherhood has a profound impact on how we see ourselves, how we build relationships, and even how we understand God.

In this special Father’s Day episode, Leslie sits down with Cliff Wright- minister, coach, founder of Hope 4 Families Ministries, and author of Quarterback Daddy- for a meaningful conversation about the role of a father and why it matters.

Together, they explore the unique influence fathers have on their children, the lasting effects of father wounds, and how healing is possible even when relationships are broken or reconciliation isn’t an option.

Whether you had a loving father, a distant father, or no father figure at all, this conversation offers insight, encouragement, and hope for your journey.

In This Episode:

  •  What “Quarterback Daddy” means and why fatherhood matters 
  •  The unique role fathers play in shaping identity 
  •  How father wounds can affect relationships, confidence, and faith 
  •  Practical steps toward healing and breaking generational cycles 
  •  Why understanding God as Father can be difficult and transformative 
  •  Encouragement for fathers, daughters, and families 

About Our Guest

Cliff Wright is a minister, life purpose coach, and founder of Hope 4 Families Ministries. With a passion for strengthening families and equipping fathers, Cliff has spent years mentoring men, leading ministry groups, and helping families build lives rooted in hope. He has been married to his wife, Sondria, for more than 43 years and is a proud father and grandfather.

Connect with Cliff Wright

🌐 Website:
 https://hope4familiesministriestv.tv

📱Instagram:
https://www.instagram.com/cliffwrightspeaks/

YouTube:
https://www.youtube.com/@CityCoronaCA

Connect with Leslie:

Follow on IG: @yourjoyfulorderstyle

Website: https://shopjoyfulorder.com/

Email: lmartinez@yourjoyfulorder.com
to schedule- Speaking Events, Interviews or Life Coaching Sessions

Shop my SOAP Journal & Digital Products:
https://shopjoyfulorder.com/

Watch this Episode on You Tube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCsXoAYIM2mfclNtYiaOzIUw

Shop my Gratitude, Goals & Prayer Journal on Amazon:
https://a.co/d/09Djvaw

Fatherhood And Why It Matters

SPEAKER_05

Hey friends, welcome back to your Joyful Order podcast. Today's episode is a powerful one, especially as we lean into Father's Day. We're talking about fatherhood, but not just on the surface. This is a deeper conversation about the role of a father, the impact of his presence or absence, and how it shapes our identity, our relationships, and even how we see God. And I want to say this right from the start. This episode is for everybody, for the men and the women, because whether your experience with your father was beautiful, broken, or maybe somewhere in between, it has impacted you. And my hope is that today's conversation brings clarity, understanding, and healing. And joining me today for this conversation is Cliff Wright. Cliff is a minister, a coach, and the founder of Hope for Families Ministry. And he has a deep passion for strengthening families and equipping fathers to lead well. He's been married to his wife for over 40 years. He's a father of three, a grandfather of six, and he truly carries the heart for this conversation for both having lived experience and years of ministry. So let's get ready to dive into this conversation with Cliff. Let's just say this show will be a mixture of three team and 15 with the kick of motivation from your girl here. Welcome to your Joyful Order Podcast. Welcome back to your Joyful Order podcast. Today I'm joined by Cliff Wright. Cliff, I am so honored to have you on the podcast.

SPEAKER_00

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you, Leslie. And I love the name of your podcast, your Joyful Order Podcast. That's really a wonderful name. So thank you again, Leslie. It's certainly an honor to be on your podcast.

SPEAKER_05

Thank you. That that name was uh ordained name. I'll just say that. That was given to me by by God Himself. Uh and I I want to talk about what you're doing because the name of your ministry, Quarterback Daddy, that's what we're here to talk about today. Um Fatherhood. And we're just about to head into Father's Day right now when this episode. And you are doing something phenomenal, Cliff. And I want to start there with this message because I think your message, a quarterback daddy, is so unique. So can you tell us what quarterback daddy means?

What Quarterback Daddy Means

SPEAKER_00

Well, quarterback daddy, in essence, what it is, is to help fathers, inspire fathers to have transformative relationships with their children. That's it. Very, very concise. That's that's what we that's our mission. That's our vision.

SPEAKER_05

And where did that vision come from for you, Cliff?

Winning By Staying In The Pocket

SPEAKER_00

You know what? I think it started really when I was a little boy, uh, to be honest with you. God gave it to me the actual name through a series of encounters that I had with him. Um I was uh I'm a certified life purpose coach like yourself. And in my coaching, uh they ask us to identify our niche. And once I really began to look at my life, I realized that my niche is father's. And and I'll be transparent, uh, my first marriage did not work out. I have a 49-year-old son, and and so uh I was trying to earn his love and forgiveness back for for many years. And about 12 years ago, his heart softened, but I had to keep chasing him. And one of the things that I think that helped him to really come to that place where he was willing to let me back in, I told him that my youngest son and my daughter, you know, my son Jai, they're younger than him and everything. But I told him that they could not replace the hole in my heart of him. And I believe that was kind of the the thing that caused his heart to soften that he realized that, you know, without him being in my life, my life was incomplete. And so um the Lord blessed my wife and I, Sandria, on our 40th anniversary to go to um Hawaii. I promised her that we're gonna go to Hawaii one of these days. And so on our 40th anniversary, we went to Hawaii. But prior to that, I had been invited to uh speak at a father and family conference, and I had my PowerPoint all written and everything, and we got to Hawaii and we had some complications with our travel arrangements coming back, and so on our way back, we literally had to change uh airlines, and I'm not gonna uh make it long-winded, but once we got on the the airplane, we were the last persons to get on that plane. And when I sat down in my seat, I was just like, I was just so relieved. And I turned on a movie, and it was a movie about Kurt Warner, the uh NFL quarterback for the St. Louis Rams at the time. And so when I began to watch it, the um the story went like this. He was in college, he was a very, very gifted quarterback, but his his coach would not put him in the game. And he would ask him, Why don't you put me in the game? He said, Because I need you to stay in the pocket. He said, if you don't stay in the pocket, I'm not gonna put you in the game. And and so he finally went ahead and mastered the skill of staying in the pocket. And he he went through all kinds of hurt, bruised ribs, injuries, everything, because he learned how to master the art of staying in the pocket. After that, um I was uh my wife and I went on another trip, and and um it was uh an incident. I'm not gonna go into what that incident was, but I had to uh be home, uh take off from work for a few days. And I this movie came on, another movie uh about quarterbacks. And I God had already given me the name quarterback daddy, but then when I was recovering, I he gave me the motto, and he said, winning by staying in the pocket. And that's what God really showed me. He said, You stayed in the pocket long enough with your your oldest son, and you raise your two younger children, and they're you know, I'm a I'm a grandfather six times over. Uh, you you learn how to stay in the pocket. So it all just came to me at that time. If you stay in the pocket, that's how you're gonna win. And so those two movies really and and and three encounters with the Lord really was how quarterback daddy had winning by staying in the pocket was birthed.

SPEAKER_05

Wow, Cliff, you have like you have me in tears ready. There's so much to impact to that. I love that because it just gives so much intention to the role of father and staying staying in the pocket. I love football, Cliff. I know I know football. Football is my game, I can talk football with you all day long.

SPEAKER_03

So wow, yeah.

SPEAKER_05

The fact that you're talking quarterback, like I myself have had so many God analogies through the game of football, also.

SPEAKER_00

Wow, yes, yes.

SPEAKER_05

Um, from so many different perspectives and so many of those positions on there, and looking at the quarterback and how they they lead the team, right? And that role of a father. I can see so many similarities in that. And I because I I know football, like I I just that's why it it touched it touched my heart where I'm like, wow, God can use a game and teach us so much, even just by those different positions. And it's so important that that quarterback stays in the pocket. They have to lead with intention, with integrity. They have to trust their line, they have to know the routes, know where to go. Are we running a screen? Are we running a blitz?

SPEAKER_00

Like, yes, you know your football.

SPEAKER_05

I know my football. I told you, Cliff, I know my football.

SPEAKER_00

Wow.

SPEAKER_05

And there's so there's so much there. Now, I I raised a son, I raised a football player. He was a center lineman.

SPEAKER_03

Okay.

SPEAKER_05

His job wasn't to stay in the pocket, his job was to protect the quarterback.

SPEAKER_03

Yes.

SPEAKER_05

And I think we can look at that like so many different roles that families have that, you know, God gives us. But I want us to stick here with the father because it that's so important. I want us to um, you know, kind of look from the perspective of what that role really means in a family.

A Father’s Job Is Leadership

SPEAKER_05

What does the quarterback daddy now we're looking at the quarterback and leading a team? Because that's typically the role that leads the team. So, from your perspective, what is the true role of a father in a family?

SPEAKER_00

Leadership. And I'll I'll emphasize spiritual leadership. It is very, very difficult, probably impossible to lead your family without God being your head coach, you know, the owner of your team. Because let's face it, the owner of your team is God, and He recruited you. Much like an owner or coach recruits a quarterback, they recruit you to win to help that that family or that team win. I I call it win in the Super Bowl of life. So that is the role. Uh, because I I always get the question, they say, well, what is it? Is this about football? And I know it's not really about football. You probably know more about football than I do, to be perfectly honest with you. It's just God drilled that concept into me. And I have watched enough football over my 71 years to know you know the game well enough. But that's the key right there. God recruited you. He could have recruited anyone, but he recruited you to lead your team. No one can lead your team but you, but he gives us a playbook. That playbook is the word of God, the Bible. And I always say the word of God in that Bible is not just words between two binders, it is a living organism. And just like if you were playing football, if you're a quarterback, your coach is gonna pull you to the side and say, Let's let's look at the playbook. And if you look at that playbook and and you learn the plays, your team has the best chance of winning. So I would say if I were to narrow it down, the father's role is to lead his family to win in the Super Bowl of life. And I've when I mentioned that this was something that hit me when I was a kid. My mom and dad got a divorce when I was a year and a half. And I grew up in a neighborhood in the projects in Los Angeles. She moved us from Texas to Los Angeles when I was eight years old. And we lived in some projects, it was probably about 300 units. And to this day, I can count the fathers that lived with their families, about five of them in the neighborhood. And it just I couldn't shake that image, that experience.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

So quarterback daddy means so much to me. And fathers, we're gonna take hits, we're gonna get sacked, we're gonna get, we're gonna throw some interceptions, we're gonna get sat on the bench sometimes. But a a determined quarterback will always show back up for the game.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

And to me, that's more important than doing everything right. Just keep showing up. That's what happened with my older son. I just kept showing up, kept showing up, kept showing up. And he would tell me, Dad, quit calling me, quit quit texting me, quit emailing me. And then one day he just I reached out to his wife actually. I said, You think he's ready to hear from me? And she said, Yes. And so, you know, there are many times, you know, I felt like giving up. But I want to, if if there's a man watching this and and and the wives and the mothers, just keep praying for him because a lot of men, when I when I minister to men, you you shared earlier about the healing process. The first thing that I do in my life purpose workshops, and it's called awaken the quarterback daddy within you. It's already inside of him. We just have to be like, I call it like a a uh midwife. That's what we do as life purpose coaches with awakened. We help awaken that sleeping giant that's already there. And he wants to, he wants to come out. He wants to come out, and that's what I I see with these men. So when I bring them together in groups, the first thing we do, I call it healing for injured quarterback daddies. And you mentioned it about father hurt, father wounds. And the majority of those those men that show up, they carry that, much like I did. Yeah, their fathers were not involved in their lives, or they were involved, they were at home, but they were distant. So either way, they missed out on that that bonding. And that's what I'm telling you, your children want. They just want that bonding, they want that time. And I have not arrived. I'll I'll admit it. You know, I'm a busy person, but what I what I intentionally do is speak into their lives.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

Intentionally get them together and pray, intentionally open up the Bible. You know, those are the things that we have to do if we want our our children to win in the Super Bowl of life.

SPEAKER_05

Yeah.

How Dad’s Presence Shapes A Child

SPEAKER_05

Oh, so much good stuff there, Cliff. The um you shared about your uh parents being divorced when you were young and not uh growing up with a father. I my parents got divorced when I was about 17 years old. And my father hasn't been in my life since I'm 47 right now. So a long time that my father has, you know, not um really been present. But like you said, even going back, I look at maybe like the last 10 years of when my parents were still together. Um my father was already checked out. So he he was present, but he wasn't emotionally present. He wasn't involved in the upbringing of me or my sister. Uh, he he provided, he put a roof over our house and he was he was a hard worker. He you know made sure that we had food on the table, clothes on our back, a roof over our head, and that I'm very grateful that he provided that for us. Emotionally, uh he he he wasn't present. So I grew up having that absence of a father for for many years, even though it wasn't until I was 17 that he like physically uh left the home. And I just want to talk a little bit about how a father's presence actually uh can shape a child. You were very young and you saw the impact yourself. You know, you grew up having uh other fathers, you can help count on one hand how many fathers were actually present. And I'm certain that that was something that you craved. And that was something I know that I craved. I remember uh when I was in sporting activities, I was a cheerleader. And that's only because I couldn't play football, Cliff. Uh uh, my my father never came to a game. He never came to a competition, he never came to see a performance of mine. And I just remember always looking in the stands and seeing some of my other friends having their fathers present. And that was always something that crushed me, you know. So I'm certain like we can relate to that of school assemblies, open houses, all of that. It was my mom. And even though my dad was present during that time, uh, he he lived in our home, he was never involved in anything that that we did. So looking now, like it it shaped me. It there's lots of things that I carried because of that. Uh, there's lots of therapy that I've had to go through to heal that that like brokenness that came from that. So, in you having worked with so many different unique families and men, what would you say that that father's presence, how it uniquely, you know, really shapes a child? What is your experience with that?

SPEAKER_00

It means everything. It really, it you you can't leave anything out. Um, like you shared, you know, you're you're singing or you're you're cheerleaning, or your son is out there playing football, basketball, or whatever. And I I remember, you know, the same feeling, you know, wishing my dad was there. You know, he still lived in Texas, so I knew it would, you know, he's he's not gonna be there, but that did not uh erase my desire for him to be there. And even, you know, even now there are things in my life, and I'm 71 years old, you see this gray beard, this white beard now. I said, wow, you know, and I don't use it as an excuse, but I use it as motivation. I was actually preaching at a church, and uh a friend of ours that I grew up with, I had saw him at a uh a funeral of one one of the ladies in our neighborhood, and I hadn't seen him in years, and his his mother got remarried, and and he moved to the this San Fernando Valley. And so when I saw him, I was like, hey man, how you doing? You know, we reconnected, and and so he was doing very well in life, uh career-wise. And I asked him, how did you get in involved in you know medical uh device industry? He said, Well, my stepfather was in in that industry, and he helped me get a job in that and and he developed that career, and that just stuck with me. And so I think it was that night, the night before I was I was ministering, and I was asking God, I said, Lord, how come you couldn't have blessed my mother with a stepdad that could have helped my career and helped me advance in life? And you know what he told me, Leslie? He said, You be the best father to your children, don't complain. I use that for a reason for you to recognize how important it is. And since that time, I've you know, I really don't ask. That question anymore because he, you know, God kind of set me straight. Like that, use that as motivation to be the best father that you can be. And I and I'll say that to all of the men out there, all the fathers out there. Yes, your father may not have been there. Maybe he was there, but he wasn't there. But use it as leverage. You know, the best athletes in the world, they use uh adversity to rise to the top in in their field. And and I can honestly say that that's probably the most thing I'm most proud about of myself is that I did not give up. And he and he really showed me this after I was involved with quarterback daddy for a while. And he said, the thing that you were most embarrassed about, the thing that you um condemned yourself about is the same thing that I'm using you. And I tell men and fathers I said, a quarterback, he may lose several games, he may have a losing season, but he keeps showing back up. He doesn't go play tennis, he doesn't go play baseball, he comes back right to the same place where he had his worst defeat.

SPEAKER_04

Oh, that's good. That's so good.

SPEAKER_00

And that's what we have to do, man.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

That's what I had to do. I had to just keep showing up to be the best father I could be. And God finally told me, forgive yourself. Once I forgave myself, I think that was one of the key factors where I wasn't afraid to continue to go after my oldest son because I had forgiven myself, and God had given me another opportunity to raise, you know, my youngest son and my daughter. And, you know, my wife and I have been together for 43 years. We dated for two years. So we've been together for 45 years. So there were things that my oldest son needed, and I had the courage to tell him, I said, Look, the father that you knew when you were a kid, I'm a changed person. And let me be the father to you that I am now.

SPEAKER_05

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

As you can see, I'm a I'm a crying dad.

SPEAKER_05

No, I and okay, Cliff, this is something that I think I thank you for being so vulnerable. Uh, first off, because there is a stigma about men being emotional about stuff. And I think like that is something that's important for people to see. Um, I think that's for me, that was something that was missing with the relationship with my father, is that he was not an emotional man whatsoever. He never showed his emotions. He never like would say things like, I love you, I, you know, I'm proud of you. Um, those were words that I never like, you know, heard from my father. And kind of going back, how you were saying about how you had wished that like your mom had met someone else that could kind of fulfill that father role for you. Uh I I kind of similarities in that. Like I always thought, you know, my mom is a beautiful, deserving woman. Like, how come another man has never come to kind of fill that? And my mom always jokes like, your father screwed me up so bad, I just ripped or like wrote men off completely, you know? Um, because there were there was a lot of um abuse and and stuff that went on in um in that in that marriage. But one of the things that I know that like God had told me in that also is that it like when I've I've tried to reconcile with my my father many times and have put myself out there and um just always constantly getting rejected. And I've finally gotten to that point where I'm like, you know what, I'm I'm done. If if my father wants a relationship with me, it's gonna be in his timing. And I am very open and receptive. Um, I've gone above and beyond out of my way to try to establish a relationship with him, and it hasn't been reciprocated. So therefore, I'm I'm not gonna keep putting myself out there to get rejected. And if he chooses to have a relationship with me, it's gonna be in his time and his responsibility for that. So I've completely cut off contact with him for probably about the last almost two years now, where I've just left it in his shoe, in his court, basically. Uh, but with that, I know that God has spoken to my heart in that any fatherly type of relationship that I'm seeking for, I've found it in God. My husband is an amazing husband. We're going on 25 years of marriage also. And he had and this may sound weird, but I think you might understand where I'm getting with that. He's fulfilled more of a father role role to me than my own father did. I've been with I've been with my husband longer than I was with my own father. So my husband has been able to my husband is amazing.

SPEAKER_04

And I feel that God gifted me such an amazing man to make up for the father that I didn't have. And he's an amazing father to our boys.

SPEAKER_05

He shows up, he's loving, he's compassionate, he tells our boys, I love you, I'm proud of you, and he's been such a hard-working man.

SPEAKER_04

Um so I know that God has blessed me in different ways of not having that fatherly figure in my life.

SPEAKER_05

And I remember that's something that um I remember praying when my mom was just going through hell with my father. I remember praying. God, well, the this was part of the prayer was God, when I get married, I want a man that will cook and clean and like a queen. It rhyme. He needs to cook, clean, and treat me like a queen. I am not kidding, Cliff. That was my prayer all the time. When I would hear my parents arguing, and you know, my father was very abusive emotionally and physically. And my father was a very uh machismal man that didn't lift a finger around the house. We had to cater to him. He had three, well, he had two girls. So there was us three girls. It the expectation because we were women, is that we had to cater and do everything for him. So my father never cooked, cleaned, did any of that stuff. So that was my prayer is Lord, I'm I'm gonna marry a man that cooks, cleans, and treats me like a queen. And I did. So God fulfilled that. I have a wonderful husband that fulfills all of that and is an amazing, you know, father to our boys. And God, God restored a lot of what I lost in a father and fulfilled that in an amazing husband for me. And I'm certain you can, you know, go back and say how, you know, like you said, God fulfilled it in different ways for you. But I I want to ask you this, Cliff.

The Fear Many Men Hide

SPEAKER_05

What is something that fathers carry that many women may not always see or understand?

SPEAKER_00

Well, um, men are very, very uh protective of being vulnerable. Uh, somehow, you know, us men have been lied to from little boys that to not show your feelings, you know. And so they carry things that they don't they're fearful. There's it really is is rooted in fear, to be perfectly honest. It may seem like they may be rough and loud, you know, and uh sometimes mean, but it's really rooted in fear. And and so, and that's I think that's the hardest part for most families like yourself, that I can't speak for your dad, but I I know that uh many men are fearful of seeing themselves in the mirror. You know, we shave, we comb our hair, brush our teeth and everything, but if we ever just allow that that inner person to see that inner person in the mirror, it's it can be frightening. I had to go through that, and I remind myself too, uh on a constant basis. See yourself in the mirror, especially in my marriage and my relationship with my children, you know, own your part of it. And once you get past that, you know, because that giant within, that's that's the giant. That's that's who most men are afraid of, is that they don't want to face that giant that's staring them in the face. And it's it's you, you're you're the giant, you're the obstacle, and so to admit that to yourself, that's probably the hardest thing for men to do. So um, as wives and daughters, um that's one thing I could say, and then what you can do is allow him uh and encourage him, I'll put it this way, encourage him that if you got some wounds, it's okay for you to cry. That I'm your help meet, God brought me into your life to help you to be the man that you desire to be. Because unless a man is just downright evil, he desires to do the right thing, he may not know how to. Um, and and it's especially saying, Hey, I love you, to encourage his his wife, encourage his children, that a lot of times they they weren't taught that, and they were lied to to show your emotions, you know, that's that's not manly, but uh I would say that's the one thing that men carry that you may not be aware of that is fear, is rooted in fear. And I I I don't think I could say it any better than that.

SPEAKER_05

Yeah. Wow, thank you for that, Cliff. And I want to pause here for a moment because for the woman listening right now, this may be giving language to things that you felt and you just couldn't explain with your own father, maybe with your spouse, uh, another father figure in your life, that vulnerability is huge.

Breaking Generational Emotional Silence

SPEAKER_05

And I want to ask, uh, Cliff, you you openly shared your age. Uh so you are so you were you born in 1955, right? 54. 54. Okay. My parents were born in 55. So my parents are uh this uh just about the same age as you. And I want to speak from this from a generational perspective because I have kind of observed. I want to say this is just my own personal observation. I'm not I I don't know that there is actual factual like research or study behind this. You grew up in a different era where men were the providers, men went out and worked, women ran the house. Men did not show emotion, men were the disciplinary and the leader in the home that you know would basically run the show, like you said, the the quarterback, the the leader, right? And I kind of started to unpack a little bit. I started to just look at at my family, my husband's family, um, friends and family that I may know that our parents are aging now in your age bracket that's 70 to 80, and looking at the impact of what the father role had to us children to this generation. So speaking to I'm I'm Generation X. So kind of that generation X, even maybe early millennials, of so many of us having daddy issues, having you know, mental health is on the rise now, and there's so much like depression and anxiety, and so many of the Gen X and millennials having to go into therapy for things that the generation before us passed into us. And we've been called the like emotional generation because we're connected with our emotions, where we were raised of the whole suck it up buttercup, the you know, uh just shake it off, keep going kind of thing. And I I I want to speak, how how did you break that, Cliff? Because here you are, uh a man that grew up in in that era that I'm talking about. And you're not the typical man that I see in this age generation that I think you cried about maybe three times with me already. And it's good. I'm not saying it's bad. I I don't think that I have seen that cut type of emotion from a man from your generation. And I'm not saying it in a bad way. I am completely being complimentary to that because there is something inside of you that has allowed you to break that stigma of the generation that you came from, that if you show emotion or if you're vulnerable, you're weak. So, what shifted for you, Cliff, to allow yourself to be vulnerable and to get away from what that generation that you grew up in, of what their determination or definition of fatherhood or a real man is?

SPEAKER_00

You know, the honest answer is is just God. I I can't really say that one day I'm saying, you know, I'm not going to be this macho type guy. Um, I will say this. My mother's father, my grandfather, um he was a crybaby. And so when we would go spend summers with him, um he would always cry when we would leave. And you know, openly, you know, boo-hooing, you know. And my my dad's dad, however, I never saw him cry. And then I my mom had two sisters, and my brother, I mean, my my brother, my father had two sisters, and so I was always around my aunts and and my grandmothers and and my great-grandmother. So I guess that that had a lot to do with it, but I never consciously said I'm going to be this sensitive guy. Uh, but it just comes when I least expect it. And and I'm just not good at, you know, keeping it in, you know. But I I have I am glad that I am, because uh at one time I I used to get embarrassed about it, but being in ministry, you know, you feel people's pain. And and and so that compassion comes out. So all I can say is God put it there. I I definitely did not put it there because the guys I grew up with, you know, in in the the projects, it was it was like, uh-uh, you you just didn't go around crying. I I didn't do it as a little boy. I knew enough. Don't don't do that around your friends, you know, in school. Uh, but you know, since I've you know matured, you know, I've just been able to do it, and and I don't know how to turn that spigot off, you know.

SPEAKER_05

Yeah. Well, and it it's not even just in the crying, Cliff. I think in how you speak, having raised your your children, and I know one of your sons, and I've experienced him in ministry. Uh, one thing I don't know that I I shared this yet. Uh Cliff Cliff and I get to do ministry together at our church. Cliff and I serve um on our prayer and and care team. And I've uh prayed beside Cliff and have heard him counsel many, many people at our church. And uh this is this is a man that I honestly look up to when I came into the prayer team. I remember uh Cliff just hearing you counsel people, and and that was more of what I was talking about, not not so much that you um uh you know are emotional as far as tears, but talking about you, you love on people, Cliff. You you truly demonstrate love and compassion towards people. And you don't come off with having a chip on your shoulder or being a prideful man that can't express emotion or you know, um, a sense of of compassion towards other people. And that that was kind of more of what I was saying, but it it comes in the same, it comes in the same of like the Holy Spirit just, you know, fills you and gives you the compassion and the and the emotions that you need to carry the weight with people. And that's one of the things that I have seen you do exceptionally well being beside you praying with people is the compassion that you have for people. And it's not just a suck it up, buttercup, you'll be okay, you know. Uh, it is you have true, true compassion. You are able to carry people's weight and emotion and walk them through some very pivotal challenges in their life. And I've I've seen that displayed in you. And I I truly know that that's God's work, uh, because men of your generation aren't built like you. And that's what I was trying, that's what I was trying to get at. Uh but you answered it exactly what I knew. It it was it's the Holy Spirit that allows you to, you know, to see the emotions of others and be able to carry

You Are Not Defined By Rejection

SPEAKER_05

that. No, Cliff, there's so many women listening right now. One of the things that I would love for you to speak to that woman and even that man that may be listening right now is what would you say to the person who has been rejected or unseen by their own father?

SPEAKER_00

You know, first of all, um thank you for everything that you you shared. I I I I liken it to, you know, when people go to a uh an uh art museum or an art show, and some people can walk by a masterpiece and just they just don't get it. You know, they see whatever they see, it doesn't look like it's valuable to them. But someone else will pay a million dollars for it because they recognize the value in it. Don't allow the enemy to lie to you that it's something wrong with your masterpiece because God created you as a masterpiece piece, excuse me. So if that rejection, you know, like people just don't understand, they don't recognize the value, and it can be your father, it can be men, it can be, you know, anyone, it doesn't change the fact that you are a masterpiece, because that's what God created you to be. And if there was anything that I could say that would make sense, that's what God showed me. He created you. As a masterpiece. It's not your job to convince that person that you're a masterpiece. If they can't see it, all you can do is pray for them and then pray that their eyes become open. Because it's is really blindness. For whatever reason, that person is blind to recognizing the beauty in you as a daughter.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

To recognize the beauty in you as a person. And so I hope that ministers to you.

SPEAKER_05

That it definitely does. That's so encouraging. And it's just a reminder of whose we are. I'm not like I am, I'm not my father's child. I am like the Almighty Father's child. And that's how I have been able to kind of carry through. Like I shared earlier. Uh God just reminded me that He's my ultimate father and He will fulfill above and beyond what I missed in my earthly father here.

SPEAKER_03

Yes.

SPEAKER_05

So thank you for that. That's encouraging. And I'm certain that those are encouraging words for someone out there too who's had an absent uh father in their life. Now, Cliff, what what can we say to the person? Now, I I've gone through my own healing journey of having an absent father and not having a good relationship with my own dad.

Healing Father Wounds In Men

SPEAKER_05

And I've shared a lot of that openly here on the podcast with a lot of my listeners too. A lot of work, uh counseling, therapy, journaling, all of that. And it's still constant work, constant, constant, constant. How can someone like let's speak specifically to the men that come into your ministry of the quarterback daddy? How do you walk them through healing from father wounds?

SPEAKER_00

Good question. Good question. Um I tell my story. And, you know, and as you can see, you know, I'm it's hard for me to hide my emotions. So I tell my story, I let them know, you know, hey, I've I've been there, I'm still walking through this. Uh, God is still healing me, God is still causing me to grow. So I I use myself as an example. Because the one thing that I've always been, I reverence God, I cannot preach to someone and act like I've never missed it, and that I've arrived. So I think it starts with that, and then I've had a lot of men say, you know what? Thank you for being transparent that way. And it it just helps them to open up and see another man, you know, that is willing to tell his story and and make himself vulnerable, and then admit that he misses his father. You know, I tell many stories about my dad, and most of the time the men have gone through what I've gone through, or they're they're they're going gone through with their children, what I've gone through. And it just resonates with them, you know. And I guess that's why God has entrusted me with quarterback daddy. I don't have a like a blueprint. I just I'm just me and I just tell my story. And then by me being uh a certified uh um life purpose coach, you know, I have learned some techniques that will help people to get to that place where they're ready to receive and and ready to reflect on how God can cause them to be that man of God that God has called them to be.

SPEAKER_05

So much wisdom in just that little thing that you just said right now. That two minutes right there, so much wisdom, uh, Cliff.

Guidance For Single Moms Raising Sons

SPEAKER_05

Now, what would you say for the women that are raising children right now, especially sons? I have two boys, my husband has been present. That's not the case for a lot of women out there. There's a lot of single moms out there that are raising sons, future fathers, you know, young men right now. What is some wisdom that you could give to that single mom that is raising a son right now?

SPEAKER_00

Keep him in church, find that church where you know, as a trusted pastor, um have prayer on a regular basis, open up the Bible at home, you know, and uh surround him with trusted men of God, you know. Uh be careful to, you know, who you allow to speak into your your child's life. Uh be watchful, you know, because the adversary of the devil walks around seeking whom he may devour. So you can't trust everyone to to speak into your children's life, especially your son. Um but God is He has hand-picked individuals who will I'll say show up and and and and then God will confirm it with signs following. I always say this that God will bring people and situations into your life, or I call it attending unscheduled appointments, and it will change the trajectory of your life. So much like Moses and the burning bush, that bush would never burn out. So if there are people that God will bring into your life, a pastor or a trusted leader, that you'll you'll get a witness, and then your your your children will get a witness as well. If if your if your child feels um uneasy around someone, you know, they may not always want to have a mentor in their life, but someone who has a proven track record, uh, that you know, uh, because we do live in a in an age where you you you just can't expose your kids to everyone, but be discerning, pray, um, and pay attention to the red flags. If there are some red flags, don't don't be shy of saying, you know, that's that's not who I want around my child. Um, but there are people who are out there, you know, we have uh a strong men's ministry at Revere Church, you know, Pastor Caesar. Um, it's it's so many men who, you know, uh they revere God. And if if that's that if they revere God and and listen to their conversation, listen, watch their activities. And if you can discern that and just continue to pray and and and speak to your your your your sons' lives and your daughters, uh the one thing that my mother always told me was Cliff, you're a leader, not a follower. And you know, she passed away in 1981 uh on New Year's Day. And so that's the one thing that always stood out to me. Cliff, you're a leader, not a follower. And that kept me out of a lot of trouble. Not that I didn't, you know, you know, go out there and uh try the world for for a little while, but that would always rise up in me and when you know people were wanting to do some things like, you know, illegally or or do some things that, you know, to try to get me to be with him, I would like, nah, I hear my mother's voice. And he's closed some doors too for me.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

I wanted to be a famous musician. That was my goal in life, but God would always close those doors. And so uh don't be shy about praying for your sons and daughters that doors close that they should not go into. So there are many things I could I could think of, but those are the things that are resonating in my spirit right now.

SPEAKER_05

Oh, all so good. So good. I think, Cliff, with that, the everything that you said is just so on point. And I know for the moms out there, I had a praying mama. My mama was always, always praying for for my sister and I. And like you said, using disturbment, my mom was a single mom for a still a single mom to adult children now. And I think that one of the prayers that my mom would pray over us is that we had amazing spouses, which both my sister and I do. And God fulfilled many of her prayers through the men that my sister and I were able to marry and our children. And uh my sister and I are both, she has my sister has uh two boys and two girls. I have two boys. So just between my sister and I, we have four. Actually, I'm gonna say men now. My my youngest is the last to turn 18 in just like in July. So four men that in our family that have been raised with a father fully present and an involved father. And I know that that was part of my mom's prayer. And for those single moms, prayer is everything. Like I am a walking answered prayer from I know prayers that my mom had many, many times over. Uh, so I definitely just want to kind of compound on what you said of really getting your kids in church, getting them involved and surrounding them with godly people that are gonna speak into their lives and fill that void of what a father uh, you know, would have. Because I know my mom did that. My mom dragged us to churches to church. Yes, literally dragged if she would tell me if you don't go to church, like she would ground me for the week if I didn't go to church on Sunday, put it that way. Uh, and I thank my mom for that. Uh I I I still kind of I'm like, I don't know if that was the best, you know, way to get me in church because it did kind of turn me off for a little bit. Uh, but I know that my mama's prayers are like answered right now in where I'm at and what I'm doing. Now, uh, Cliff, as we begin to wrap up here, I kind of want to end on

Build Your Team And Keep Leading

SPEAKER_05

this. What is one quarterback principle that you want to leave that you feel every family could use?

SPEAKER_00

Wow. One principle recognize that God has given you a team. You talked about your your son being a being a center, that staying in the pocket, it basically means that the front line, including the center, they form a a pocket to protect the the quarterback. And so recognize that God has given you a team. You can't go out there and do it by yourself. If you think about a quarterback and he doesn't have a uh offensive line or or center, there's no way he can win the team, win the game. And so recognize the team that God has surrounded you with. I think that's that's the most important. And then if sometimes they replace team members, you know, on a football team. They they go to another team or they get, you know, uh rejected for whatever reason. So pay attention to the ones who God has sent you. And they may not always look like what you think they would look like, or have the quote unquote outward appearance that you know we tend to look at. Look at who's in your corner, who's who's there in the good times and in the bad times. That would be the the one thing I I would say to a father in in that leadership role.

SPEAKER_05

So on point, Cliff. I just I love the football analogy of all of this. There, we can go on and talk forever, Cliff, because I love football. I love this topic, I love and adore you. And I just I wish we had more time. I really wish we had more time.

SPEAKER_03

Yes, yes, yes.

SPEAKER_05

Yeah, there's so much to unravel in that. And looking at your team, and that's like one thing I recently have been looking at myself is who God has put in my circle. We just came off of a teaching this last weekend uh at church from uh our pastor, Pastor Bianca. And she was talking about like the people in your circle, basically, and how important it is for us to know the different seasons that people have in our life. And when you look at a team, it's like, hey, some players they get traded, you know, others come, some get rejected. And knowing who's that line to protect you.

SPEAKER_03

Yes.

SPEAKER_05

So just so good. So, so, so dang good. All right. Um, Cliff, this God, this has been such a meaningful conversation. You spoke to my spirit in so many different ways. And I know that you're gonna speak to so many different listeners today, but you have some exciting things to share.

Book Updates And Voting Support

SPEAKER_05

And I just want to wrap up. If you can share with our listeners, you have an exciting contest going on, you have a book coming out, and I just want the listeners to know all the ways to connect and support you.

SPEAKER_00

Yes, yes, thank you so much. And and and before I say that, the title of your show, Your Joyful Order, it is resonating even more so with me. And I believe that it's resonating with your audience. And I would love to have you as a guest on my show as well, because I'm doing a series called uh the quarterback interview series. And so women can be quarterbacks as well.

SPEAKER_05

Yes, we can.

SPEAKER_00

So I definitely want to invite you, especially since you are so well uh versed in football.

SPEAKER_05

So don't get me started on football. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00

All right, all right.

SPEAKER_05

For sure. I would love to come.

SPEAKER_00

Definitely got to have you on there. But yes, I I do have a book that's been out for a couple of years called Faith Fuel for Your Journey. You can find it on Amazon. It's uh it's the color of the cover is red.

SPEAKER_04

Okay.

SPEAKER_00

Uh, on purpose. And um, and basically what I talk about are real stories, including my own, where it seems like you're running out of faith. But much like if you're taking a cross-country trip and your gas tank is low, God will always have a gas station nearby for you to refill you of your faith so that you can get to where he's taking you. Um, and then uh I'm working on the quarterback daddy uh book, and you can see sort of the image in the back of me. Um, and it's all about winning by staying in the pocket, and uh so we're we're believing God to release it on or around Father's Day, you know. So thank you again for allowing me to be on your show. And then I am uh I entered into a contest called Entrepreneur of Impact. And uh the spokesperson is none other than Damon John from uh Shark Tank, but it's also connected with a uh nonprofit organization called Gin Youth, who they help uh children who lack uh healthy foods and also healthy exercise. And so love for you to go out and vote for me. The the competition, I feel like I'm in the playoffs right now. It's I'm in the uh quarterfinals right now, uh looking to go to the semifinals and then the final round. And of course, he'll help me to get closer to fulfilling the vision that God has for me in my ministry. So I thank you for your support.

SPEAKER_05

Yes, so exciting. And all the ways that you can support Cliff, uh, a link to his books, a link to go and vote for him, a link to his website. That's all gonna be in the show notes. Uh, so you guys can just stay connected with uh Cliff

Share, Heal, And Keep Tasting Joy

SPEAKER_05

there. And if this conversation just really impacted you, uh, I just I want to encourage you to share this episode with a friend. This conversation is just such a great reminder of how deeply fatherhood shapes us and how much power can come from just healing those parts of us that felt like we were, you know, kind of shafted of a true father. And I just want to encourage all of the women out there to really just seek your spiritual father if you are lacking that spiritual um, or if you're lacking that father role. Uh, there's so much healing in our heavenly father that can fill that void that you may have had of an earthly father. And that is speaking from someone who didn't have the earthly father that I wanted to. And I just want to encourage you to find that healing uh in our heavenly father. And Cliff, again, just thank you so much. Uh, I know that this episode is just gonna impact so many lives. And if you know someone that this conversation uh will be a blessing to, please share it. Share it on your soul. Send this episode to a friend and come back to next week's episode. We got exciting things to uh continue sharing. And y'all, I'm gonna be on Cliff's podcast. So you want to continue the conversation? Um, I'll be sharing that too. So we'll we'll we'll share all of the fun stuff that Cliff and I will be doing. Um and until next time, friends, just continue to keep tasting joy. See ya.

SPEAKER_00

Amen. God bless you.