In this Ask Dr Jessica Minisode, Dr Jessica Hochman reviews tips that she finds help foster good relationships with our children. It's so easy to feel the stress of parenting, but there are some things we can do to make our family life more fun and enjoyable. Do you have any tips to share? email askdrjessicamd@gmail.com
Happy Holidays!
Dr Jessica Hochman is a board certified pediatrician, mom to three children, and she is very passionate about the health and well being of children. Most of her educational videos are targeted towards general pediatric topics and presented in an easy to understand manner.
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The information presented in Ask Dr Jessica is for general educational purposes only. She does not diagnose medical conditions or formulate treatment plans for specific individuals. If you have a concern about your child's health, be sure to call your child's health care provider.
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Hey everybody welcome to ask Dr. Jessica I'm your host and paediatrician Dr. Jessica Hochman. Today, I'm going to do a brief episode where I discuss some thoughts to help us have meaningful relationships with our kids. Because at the end of the day, I think that's what we all really want to have good quality relationships with our children. All right, so for my first piece of advice, don't be afraid to create what I call loving boundaries. Children truly crave boundaries, it can be hard for us to tell our children know whether it's when they asked for more TV, more candy, or a later bedtime, whatever it is that our kids may want, but we as grownups know better. Ultimately, I believe it really is the best thing for our children to hear us place limits. So when you do tell them no, remember that you really are doing them a favour in the long run. And next, I think about quality time, kids love spending quality time with their parents. I think that if you invest your time with your children, it will pay you back in dividends, toys and things. They make kids happy briefly, but we all know too well that things eventually lose their lustre and become clutter. What your kids really want is your undivided attention. If you spend time cultivating a loving relationship, the odds are that you'll make a connection that will last a lifetime. Also, for any working parent listening, I believe that a little quality time goes a long, long way. I also think that it's really important that families prioritise free time. I think it's way too easy to over schedule. Our children between sports music lessons, playdates birthday parties, the calendar can quickly fill up and ultimately I think this leads to more day to day stress. I think it's really helpful also to trust your gut. If you're invited to something and you really don't want to do it, just say no. All right now next, I encourage you to allow your children to take risks. If we allow our children to do things that might feel uncomfortable at first, like riding a bike speaking in public, maybe even using a match for the first time. All of these learn skills will ultimately make them more self confident. I encourage you to not let fear and concern for their safety stifle their growth. When children practice taking calculated risks, this will ultimately help us raise competent, resilient and independent children. I also think it is really helpful to be a good role model for your children. Believe me, they are watching you. Think about people in your life who you look up to. You want to be like them because you see how they live and that is what influences you. So for example, if you want your children to be good, healthy eaters, I think modelling healthy eating works much better than telling them eat your vegetables. Along the same lines. If you want your children to be good kind human beings. I think a helpful way to make this happen is to model goodness and kindness in your life, I believe they will want to follow in your image. All right now my next piece of advice to help foster good relationships with our children is to minimise fighting. Of course, having fights is normal, unnecessary. Everyone needs to let off steam. But I implore you to try and make family arguments as short as possible. Sometimes I think it's better just to let your children be heard, say your piece and move on. To quote my mom, it's better to be loved than right. This is definitely something I work on as a parent. Because at the end of the day, this is what I really want to have good, easy relationships without the stress of fighting. I also think it's helpful to not have too many family rules. We all have the best of intentions, but I think it's easy to place too many expectations on our children. Read 20 minutes a day, practice the piano, wash your hands, don't eat that candy, do your homework. I think it's important to keep a big picture perspective here. Have some rules, but just make sure that these rules are truly important to you. And last but not least, make sure and have fun with your children. Let your kids see your silly side. Spend time laughing. I think many of us in general can make life feel heavier than it truly has to be. Take time to have dance parties, bake cookies, play games, your kids will appreciate you for it. Alright, so that's my list but let me know Do you have any tips that help you have good relationships with your kids? I would love to hear them. Email me at ask Dr. Jessica md@gmail.com. I'm also going to take this Monday off to spend the holiday with my family. But I will be back the following Monday. See you in the new year.