38 | I’m Fine Until I’m Not: Breaking the Cycle of Holding It All Together

We’ve all said it: “I’m fine.” But underneath, we’re holding it all together until one tiny thing tips us over the edge. In this episode, I share the real story of why we keep pretending we’re fine, how it leads to burnout and explosions, and the simple steps to finally break that cycle without guilt.

If you’ve ever wondered, “Why do I feel like I’m doing everything right but still feel so wrong?” — this one’s for you.

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 Music: Instrumental Acoustic Guitar Music by Viacheslav Starostin (original_soundtrack), from Pixabay. 

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🎶 Instrumental Acoustic Guitar Music by Viacheslav Starostin (original_soundtrack),

W E B S I T E - LisaCovert.com

I N S T A G R A M - @lisamcovert

Transcript

Hey friend… welcome.

If you’ve been here before, you might notice something feels a little different. This podcast has a new name, and honestly, a new heartbeat behind it.

When I first started this show, it was called Flawed and Fearless. Those words lit a fire in me during one of the most anxious, fear-filled, powerless times of my life. They gave me courage to face my fears and keep moving.

But as I’ve grown—and worked with more and more women—I realized those words might make it sound like I’m never afraid or frustrated. And let me tell you… that is absolutely not true.

If you boil down what I do here, it’s this: I help women go from feeling lost in their life—and honestly in their own minds—to feeling empowered by who they are. I help you stop comparing yourself to everyone else, stop people pleasing, and start making decisions that are yours. Because when you’re forced to make a change, it rarely lasts. But when you choose it for yourself? That’s where the magic happens.

And the way I help you do that isn’t by pretending I’ve got it all together… but by sharing the messy truth, so you can find what works for you. I’m not here to be perfect. I’m here to tell the truth about what didn’t work for me, so maybe you can find what does for you.

And that’s exactly what today’s episode is about. Episode 38: I’m Fine Until I’m Not — we’re talking about why you keep holding it together until you explode, and how to finally break that cycle without guilt.

Let’s dive in.

I thought I was fine.
 I mean… I was doing all the things. Meal planning so my boys wouldn’t get the foods that sent their emotions into orbit. Prepping lunches, making breakfasts that followed every dang “do not” rule. Volunteering at the school, making lists for my boys so we could function without me hovering. I was tracking sports schedules, school dates, avoiding the “oh crap” moment of me realizing I’d said yes to my husband’s travel which meant I set myself up to be in two places at once. And still planning a healthy dinner they’d actually eat — which is basically was like winning the lottery but with more yelling.

And I wasn’t just doing all that for them — I wanted more for me too. I wanted a career I was passionate about. I wanted to shower and feel good about how I looked and felt. I wanted something more. And of course, I felt guilty for wanting that. Because somewhere in my brain, I believed “good moms” don’t want more than a spotless kitchen and well-fed children who never complain… which I’m pretty sure only exists in Hallmark movies and lies.

But living a life where I had to keep it all together? Yeah… that never happened. And when it didn’t, I got yelled at, threatened, doors slammed in my face, and I was left alone to clean up the pieces. No one saw anything they did wrong — it was always me. I was “the mean one” making them eat these foods, or saying yes when I wanted to say no. Or trying to convince them to be open minded to my view. People-pleasing wasn’t helping, but I kept doing it.

And while I was busy in my I’m fine bubble, I was also comparing myself to women who made it look effort less — like the mom who told me, “Oh, my kids don’t hot dogs. We just eat well.” Meanwhile, I’m over here making half my food from scratch, and I see her casually walking into practice no back sweat or upper lip sweat with these beautiful prepped meals… only to find out she has a nanny, a housekeeper, and a food prep fairy. At first, I was mad at her for not telling the truth. But honestly? If she had told me, I probably would’ve just felt bad for myself because I couldn’t afford all that — instead of realizing… I don’t even want it.

And here’s where the humor comes in — the thing that actually helped me stop comparing myself. I told a friend, “Look, God put us all in our mothers’ bellies to grow, and every single one of us either came out of her privates or got cut out of her stomach. And we all spent years pooping our pants.” It made me laugh, it made her laugh, and suddenly life felt a little lighter. We’re all just human, trying to figure it out — some of us with quinoa salads, some of us with chicken nuggets, and all of us with a history of diaper rash.

But in my day-to-day reality, that “I’m fine” mask would still slip. Like the night I was solo, cleaning up dinner, begging one kid to get ready for practice and the other to just eat his food. I knew if I didn’t clean it up now, it’d be waiting for me after the bedtime wrestling match. That’s when fine turned into fury. They’d finally hear me — but at what cost? Chest tight, face hot, cortisol pumping, knowing I’d have to apologize later, feeling beat up and broken.

And the truth is… it didn’t happen in one moment. I’d been missing the warning signs all day, maybe all week. I didn’t name it. And that’s what we’re going to talk about next — because if you can name it, you can stop it before it explodes.

Now, you might be listening to all this and thinking, ‘Okay, Lisa… my situation’s not exactly like yours.’

Maybe your husband doesn’t travel. Maybe he stays late at work. Maybe he works weekends. Or maybe he’s so exhausted when he gets home that he feels like another kid in the mix — and you’re already maxed out keeping the ones you birthed alive and fed.

Or maybe you’re a single mom doing this solo. Maybe you’ve got parents who need you, or a job that eats more hours than you want to give. Maybe you’re in a season where everyone in your house seems to need something from you — but you can’t remember the last time someone asked what you, what you need.

The point is… you don’t have to have my exact situation to be allowed to feel overwhelmed. You don’t need a husband who travels, or a kid with food sensitivities, or a color-coded calendar to hit that wall.

Feeling like the biggest overwhelmed mom, or the biggest loser in the room, before you finally admit something’s not working — that’s not the badge of honor we’ve been sold. That’s burnout.

And here’s what I’m learning: the second I stop pretending, and give myself permission to say, ‘This isn’t working,’ that’s when things start to shift. And if you want to try doing that side-by-side with me — right here on the podcast, or even inside my group coaching program — I promise, it’s not about being perfect. It’s about being honest.”

Quick pause—because what I’m about to share has helped a lot of women come up for air.

I used to think overwhelm was just part of being a mom… part of life. I mean, the stress, the short fuse, losing myself somewhere between the never-ending to-do lists, the laundry, everybody else’s needs—and let’s be honest… all the things I wanted for myself?

Whether it was building a business, finally getting the house organized, or chasing down those personal goals… they always came last. Or worse, I’d try to squeeze them in and it just made everything feel heavier.

That’s just how it goes, right?

But let me be real with you… it wasn’t working. I was exhausted, resentful, and waking up every day already behind—and not just behind on my tasks, but weighed down by heaviness. Heavy emotions, heavy thoughts… all of it.

And I finally hit that moment where I realized—I don’t want to live like this anymore.

That’s exactly why I created the Empowered Living 6-week course. It’s how I went from constantly overwhelmed to finally stepping into ownership of my life. Not just surviving—but actually feeling confident, present, and dare I say… excited to show up for my life again.

If you’re listening right now thinking, “Yep, that’s me…” this is your sign. You deserve to feel good again. You deserve to lead a life that actually feels like your own.

Head to lisacovert.com, click Apply Now, and learn how to reset from overwhelm to ownership.

lisacovert.com — because it’s time to lead a life that feels like yours again.

“Here’s the thing — we don’t just explode out of nowhere.

We explode because we ignore the warning signs.

We slap on the ‘I’m fine’ mask and keep pushing through, thinking if we just check enough boxes, smile through enough chaos, and keep everyone else comfortable, the weeds in our life will magically stop growing.

But here’s the truth — those weeds don’t disappear. They spread. And while they’re spreading, the things we actually care about — our peace, our patience, our health — those things are starving for attention.

That’s exactly what happened to me with my boys’ school. I ignored the discomfort for years. I told myself, next year will be better. I’d push it down, convince myself it wasn’t ‘bad enough’ to do anything about.

And all that ignoring? It just delayed the inevitable. It wasn’t that I was crazy. I was disconnected. And disconnection always comes due.”

“So how do you break that pattern?

For me, it started with realizing I wasn’t just dealing with one version of me. I had a whole cast of characters in my head. There was the scared little girl who just wanted safety. The burnt-out mom who was ready to fake her own kidnapping just for a nap. The wise inner guide who knew the truth. And the part of me that just wanted peace.

The problem was… I kept yelling at the scared one to ‘get it together,’ and telling the burnt-out one to just keep going. I wasn’t listening.

Step one was noticing them. Naming them. Actually saying, Oh, hey… there you are. I see you.

Step two was finding the truth. Instead of pushing the scared one into a closet, I asked her what she was afraid of. And I listened — with curiosity, not judgment.

Step three was partnership, not perfection. The fear didn’t magically vanish. But I stopped dragging her behind me like a toddler having a meltdown in Target. I started walking with her. Baby steps, together.

And step four? Taking one brave step. For me, that was exploring a new school. It wasn’t a one-and-done decision. It was a series of little steps that aligned with what I was finally willing to admit: I wasn’t fine.

And when we finally got in, it wasn’t about perfection — it was about connection. I had made a choice that was honest, not just ‘fine.’ And that felt like freedom.”

“Here’s what I want you to hear — owning my choice about my boys’ school didn’t erase the overwhelm. It didn’t make my life magically easy. But it stopped me from accepting overwhelm as a normal, permanent part of our life.

And now? Oh my gosh… I cry sometimes after school drop-off or pick-up, but not from frustration — from happiness and gratitude.

I stopped waiting for a ‘big enough’ problem to justify making a change. I started seeing that not feeling success, happiness, and peace was reason enough. That was my green light.

And all the things I thought would be a pain — no food served at school, no busing, less academic pressure so I’d have to supplement at home — they’ve all turned out to be… dare I say… easy. Even fun.

Now we’re finding games to help keep them ahead in their grade. They want to help me meal prep. Their confidence is growing — with friends, but more importantly, with themselves.

I’m not saying you need to change schools for your kids to be happy. What I am saying is once I stopped ignoring the war inside, and instead of fighting it, I listened, I was able to create something that worked for all of us.

And here’s the kicker — I wasn’t in 100% control. My boys had two schools to tour. I told them my first choice, but it had a waiting list. I was praying that spot would open. But then the second school became their top choice — and they love it. Turns out, the path didn’t go exactly as I planned, but it led us somewhere even better.

So maybe for you, it’s not about a school. Maybe it’s about setting a boundary. Having a hard conversation. Taking a pause. But what if you trusted that feeling instead of stuffing it down?

That’s exactly what I help women do in my group coaching program, Empowered Living. We don’t just follow someone else’s plan for their life, their family, their situation — we help you find your truth. Because your peace won’t come from living my story. It’ll come from owning yours.”