41 | Stop Fighting Yourself: How to Finally Partner With You

What if the hardest battles you’re fighting aren’t with your kids, your husband, or your to-do list… but with yourself? The guilt, the pressure, the pushing — it’s exhausting. And here’s the truth: you don’t have to live at war with your own expectations.

In this episode, we’ll talk about what it means to stop sabotaging your peace, and how to begin partnering with yourself instead. You’ll learn why choosing rest, compassion, and truth doesn’t make you weak — it makes you strong. Because when you finally get on your own team, life gets lighter.

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 🎶 Instrumental Acoustic Guitar Music by Viacheslav Starostin (original_soundtrack), from Pixabay. 

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🎶 Instrumental Acoustic Guitar Music by Viacheslav Starostin (original_soundtrack),

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Transcript

Let’s be honest — half the battles you’re fighting right now aren’t even with other people. They’re with yourself.

You know that moment when you’re dead tired, your body is literally begging you for sleep, and you’re like, “Just one more load of laundry… just one more email…”? That’s you, pushing through when you’re already on empty. And then what happens? You beat yourself up the next day for not having any energy — as if exhaustion is proof you failed.

And here’s the kicker: when someone else doesn’t push themselves the way you do, it doesn’t feel fair. Like, I’ll give you a real-life example — just the other day, I had a Costco run (on a Sunday, which if you know Costco… bless my soul). I came home, car packed full, already thinking through the lunches for the week, the groceries, the housework, and asked my husband to do one thing while I was gone: start cleaning the toilets. I walk in, and he’s on the couch, playing a game on his iPad. His response? “Didn’t get to it yet.” And old me would have lost it. Because in my head, I don’t give myself permission to sit down until everything is done — so why should he get to?

That’s the trap. Not only are you exhausting yourself, but you’re building this invisible resentment toward the people who actually do give themselves permission to rest. Suddenly you’re mad at them for taking a break, when really, the anger is about you not letting yourself do the same. And here’s the thing — you don’t actually want your husband or your kids or anyone else working themselves into the ground like you do. What you really want is the freedom to stop feeling guilty for resting.

But instead, all that pressure just festers. And eventually, you snap. You lash out, not even about the toilet or the groceries or the iPad — but about the hundred other invisible things you’ve been carrying that nobody saw. And that’s when you start to feel like the crazy one. Even though you’re not crazy — you’re just at war with yourself.

So let me say this clearly: you’re not broken. You’re not lazy. You’re not weak. You’re just stuck in a tug-of-war with your own expectations — and it’s time to stop fighting yourself.

Here’s the reframe: partnership doesn’t mean you’re letting yourself off the hook. It doesn’t mean you suddenly stop caring about the laundry, the lunches, or the endless to-do’s. Partnership means you and yourself are finally on the same team.

Because right now, when you push yourself past exhaustion, when you guilt yourself into doing one more thing, you’re treating yourself like the enemy. And honestly? You don’t need another enemy. You need an ally.

That starts with small shifts:

• Choosing rest without guilt. Not “I’ll collapse when everything’s done,” but “Rest is part of how I live, not a reward after I’ve lived.”
  
  
  
• Talking to yourself like you’d talk to your best friend. You wouldn’t tell her she’s failing for being tired — so why is that your default with you?
  
  
  
• Asking, “What do I actually need right now?” instead of “What should I be doing?”
  
  
  

Here’s the beautiful thing: when you stop fighting yourself, you start to see your value has nothing to do with how many boxes you checked off today.

Your kids? They may whine about the lunches, or roll their eyes at you — but what they really want is you. Not a perfectly prepped version of you, not a mom who can do everything without blinking, but the mom who’s present, who laughs, who feels like herself.

Your partner? Sure, he might appreciate the meals, the clean house, the errands. But if you’re doing all of it while seething inside, it doesn’t feel so valuable anymore. Because deep down, what he actually needs is you — the woman he fell in love with, the one who isn’t just a machine running on fumes.

And think about this: if you’ve ever lost someone, or even had a big fallout, you know the truth — in the end, you’d give anything to have them back as a person, not for what they could do for you, but simply for who they were. That’s the kind of value you already carry. And it’s the kind of value you need to see in yourself.

Peace doesn’t come from fighting harder. It doesn’t come from earning your worth by doing more. It comes when you finally stop standing against yourself and start standing next to yourself.

That’s the beginning of partnership. And that’s when life stops feeling like a war and starts feeling like yours again.

Alright, real talk for a second…

Maybe you’ve heard me mention the Empowered Living 6-week course, and you’ve already thought: “Yeah right… I don’t have time for that.”

Trust me, I get it. You’re already stretched thin, your brain feels fried, and honestly—another thing on your to-do list? No thanks. But here’s the truth… this isn’t just another thing. It’s the thing that’s going to help you breathe again, slow down your racing thoughts, and finally get your energy and your peace back—without adding more chaos to your life.

Or maybe you’re thinking, “Lisa, I can’t spend money on myself right now… my kids need things, groceries aren’t cheap…” I hear you. But let me lovingly say this—how much have you already spent on quick fixes? Numbing the stress with endless scrolling, late-night online shopping, trying to bandaid your burnout… but still feeling stuck?

The Empowered Living course isn’t another self-help book collecting dust. It’s a step-by-step reset to finally quiet the overwhelm, get your mind and emotions back in check, and actually enjoy your life again.

You’re worth investing in. Your peace is worth it. And your family? They deserve the best version of you—not the burned-out, resentful version just trying to make it to bedtime.

So if you’ve been stuck in the cycle, wondering “Is this really going to work for me?” — let me tell you: Yes. It’s working for women just like you every day, and it can work for you too.

Come check it out at lisacovert.com/empower—I’ll meet you there.

You know, the first step isn’t about adding more tips to your already overflowing plate. It’s about telling yourself the truth.

Step 1: Notice the truth.
 Not just the battle, but both sides of it. Notice the push, the guilt, the numbing—but also notice the rare moments of peace. When you’re driving with no noise, or when your head hits the pillow and you feel your body exhale. That peace is the baseline. Notice when you have it, and notice when you don’t.

Step 2: Tell yourself the truth.
 This is where you stop letting guilt or perfection call the shots. Ask: “Is it true that folding this laundry at 11 p.m. is going to make my tomorrow better?” or “Is it true that saying yes to this request will actually leave me more at peace?” The truth is usually simpler—and kinder—than the story you’re spinning.

Step 3: Choose one small moment of partnership today.
 Maybe it’s closing your eyes instead of scrolling. Maybe it’s saying, “I’d love to, but I can’t right now” with no guilt. Maybe it’s giving yourself credit instead of criticism. Each time you choose peace over pressure, you’re reminding yourself: the part of me that’s still learning doesn’t need judgment, it needs kindness.

Think back to that car we’ve talked about before. When the baby’s crying, or the teenager’s slamming the door, or Grandpa’s grumbling from the way-back, you don’t shame them. You see it for what it is — immaturity, fear, exhaustion. And you meet it with truth. That’s the same way you start to partner with yourself.

Because here’s the thing: you wouldn’t let your kids run themselves into the ground. You wouldn’t want your partner to carry guilt like it’s a backpack full of bricks. So why do you put that weight on you? Partnering with yourself is finally deciding to tell the truth and treat yourself with the same compassion you’d give anybody else you love.

Wrap-Up + Empowering Close (1–2 min)

The fight isn’t who you are. The guilt, the pressure, the constant push — those are just patterns. And patterns? They can change.

When you start partnering with yourself, everything gets lighter. You don’t have to wait until you’ve “earned” peace — you get to create it.

And if you’re ready to go deeper, that’s exactly what we do inside Empowered Living. I’ll walk you through how to lead your life without losing yourself — and how to finally live like you’re on your own team. You don’t have to fight anymore.

I’ll see you in the next episode