42 | 3 Reasons You’ll Never Find Peace by Fixing Everyone’s Problems

Do you catch yourself carrying everyone’s stress — your kids, your partner, your coworkers — and thinking, “If I just hold it together for everyone, then I’ll finally get some peace”? The hard truth: peace doesn’t come from fixing everyone else. It comes from letting go of what isn’t yours.

In this episode, I’ll share the three hidden reasons why trying to be the fixer only leaves you resentful and exhausted — and how to start releasing the weight that was never meant for you. You’ll learn:

• Why boundaries aren’t punishments (and what they really protect)
• How to grieve what someone can’t give you, instead of fighting reality
• The surprising way self-trust rebuilds relationships and creates real peace

If you’ve begged, hinted, or exploded just to get someone to change — and nothing worked — this conversation will give you clarity, hope, and your first steps back to peace.

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🎶 Instrumental Acoustic Guitar Music by Viacheslav Starostin (original_soundtrack),

W E B S I T E - LisaCovert.com

I N S T A G R A M - @lisamcovert

Transcript

If you’ve ever felt like the peace you crave is just one more fixed problem away — like if your kids would finally listen, if your partner would step up, or if work would just ease up for a minute — this episode is for you.

We all fall into that cycle. You tell yourself, “Once this is handled, I’ll finally be able to breathe.” And sometimes, yeah, you fix one thing — but then another problem shows up right behind it.

You fix something at work, and instead of less pressure, suddenly there are more demands because now you’ve proven you’re capable of even more. You solve something at home, and another need pops up before you’ve even taken a break. 

The truth is… peace doesn’t live on the other side of fixing everyone else. And today, I want to show you exactly why.

Here’s the first reason you’ll never find peace by fixing everyone else: peace built on other people’s behavior is shaky at best.

Maybe you’ve thought, “If my husband would stop with the little comments, or get off his phone and actually notice the dishes… then I’d feel calmer.” Or, “If my kids can remember to flush a toilet — because apparently, responsibility exists everywhere except in this house — then I could finally relax.”

Or maybe it’s your neighbor, your friend, or even a coworker you keep saying yes to. At first it felt nice, but now that “yes” is expected… and suddenly you’re wondering how you ended up doing half their job, too.

We’ve all been there. And here’s the hard truth: other people’s moods, frustrations, habits, and responsibilities will always fluctuate. You can’t stake your peace on whether everyone else is in the perfect mood, perfectly helpful, or finally remembering to pick up their socks.

Because if you do, you’ll constantly be living on their rollercoaster.

The only steady ground you can stand on is the dialogue you create with yourself. When you decide: I’m allowed to carry peace, even if they’re carrying chaos. That doesn’t mean you love the mess or ignore the behavior — it just means your mood doesn’t rise and fall with theirs.

Flip it for a second — what if everyone else in your house depended on your mood to decide if they were allowed to be happy? Yikes. We don’t want that pressure either. And yet, that’s exactly what we do when we hinge our calm on whether everyone else is finally in a good place.

So the real shift here is: stop waiting for their behavior to deliver you peace. Build it yourself, from the inside out.

And of course, the next question is: okay, but if I’m not fixing everything for everyone else… then won’t everything fall apart?

And here’s the answer: sometimes things do get messy when you stop fixing it all. The laundry might pile up. The kids might forget their homework. The cupcakes might actually come from a box.

But you know what really falls apart? You.

Because fixing everyone else doesn’t create peace — it creates exhaustion. You say yes at school, yes at work, yes to the neighbor who needs “just one more favor.” You run around trying to be the glue that holds everything together. And the harder you try, the more invisible you feel.

Instead of gratitude, you feel depleted. Instead of connection, you feel like nobody even notices what you’re carrying. And the truth is, when you keep saying yes to everyone else, you’re really saying no to yourself — to your health, your joy, your sanity.

So here’s the shift: boundaries don’t make everything crumble. They make room for peace. Saying no once this week — just once — can feel like a deep exhale. And sometimes, it even invites the people around you to finally step up. Your kids remember their homework. Your husband takes the trash out without you asking. People carry their own load.

And that’s when you realize: it’s not about holding it all together — it’s about letting others learn to hold their own.

Can I share something real for a second? It’s not easy to say, but I think someone listening right now needs to hear it…

There was a time in my life—honestly, more than once—where I was so burned out, I couldn’t even be around my own family. I remember lying in bed, so drained, so overwhelmed, that even my kids felt like one more thing on my plate. And it broke my heart… because I love them deeply, but I was completely empty.

I was stuck in survival mode, numbing my way through the days… and somewhere along the way, I started disappearing from my own life.

And then, life reminded me how short all of this really is. I lost a dear friend—whether that loss was through heaven or simply distance, it changed me. And I saw so clearly how easy it is to pour everything into everyone else and leave nothing for yourself.

But your story? It doesn’t have to go that way.

You are meant to show up for your people—with joy, peace, and energy. But more importantly… you are meant to show up for you.

That’s exactly why I created the Empowered Living 6-week course. It’s the reset I wish I had sooner—a simple, step-by-step way to move out of overwhelm, out of burnout, and back into your life with intention.

If this is hitting your heart, I want to invite you to take that first step. Your peace, your purpose, and your story matter.

Head to lisacovert.com/empoweredliving — because you deserve to be present for your life… and only you get to write how your story unfolds.

Here’s the third reason you’ll never find peace by fixing everyone else: carrying responsibility that isn’t yours always leads to resentment.

And resentment is sneaky. It starts out as little sighs, little grumbles under your breath. But when you’re carrying everybody else’s moods, choices, and chaos on your back, it doesn’t take long before you explode. And then you’re standing in the kitchen, thinking, why am I always the one holding this together?

I want you to picture it. You’re carrying invisible backpacks for your husband, your kids, your coworkers, your neighbor, your mom. And one by one, those packs get heavier and heavier — until you can barely stand. And when one more request comes in, you snap. Not because you’re weak, but because it was never yours to carry in the first place.

That’s what resentment does. It builds up from all the little things that were never yours to begin with.

Let me give you an example. My kids’ rooms used to be one of my biggest battles. Every day, I’d walk past the piles of clothes on the floor, toys everywhere, bedsheets tangled, and I’d hear myself nagging like a broken record. “Pick this up. Put that away. How many times do I have to say it?” Honestly? I was sick of my own voice. I was annoying myself.

And the resentment was building — because instead of just dealing with my kids, I was carrying their mess as if it was mine.

So I made a tiny tweak. I printed a simple list and taped it in their rooms — even used little pictures to help them remember. Three things: pick up the floor, put toys away, clothes in the basket. That’s it.

And do you know what happened? They didn’t become perfect little room-keepers overnight. But the weight lifted off me. I wasn’t climbing over piles to wash sheets, muttering under my breath, or raging every time I walked in. I had set down one piece of invisible weight — and suddenly, I could breathe again.

That’s the shift I want for you. Peace doesn’t come from controlling every detail or carrying everyone else’s load. Peace comes from releasing. From letting your husband learn in his own timing, letting your kids figure out responsibility in their own way, letting people be who they are instead of making it all your job.

Because when you set down even one piece of invisible weight, you realize you don’t need to control to feel calm. You need to release.

So let’s bring this full circle. You’ll never find peace by fixing everyone else — because peace isn’t built outside of you, it’s built inside of you.

When you stop carrying what was never yours to begin with, you finally have space to enjoy what is yours. Your people, your moments, your life. That’s the shift.

And I don’t want you to just hear this and nod along — I want you to live it. That’s why I created something free that I know will help: it’s called the P.A.U.S.E. Guide. Inside, I’ll show you the 5 triggers that keep women stuck in overwhelm, and the simple shifts you can make to finally break free. It’s short, powerful, and I even included a bonus phone wallpaper so the reminder is literally in your hand when life feels heavy.

You can grab it at lisacovert.com — and I promise, it’s worth the two clicks.

And listen, if you’re ready to go deeper — if you know it’s time to stop just managing the chaos and start transforming it — then the Empowered Living course is where we do that together. In Week 3 especially, we dig into what it actually looks like to let go of what’s not yours and finally create peace that lasts.

But whether you grab the free guide, or you join me in the course, I just want you to know this: peace is possible for you. Not when everyone else gets it together. Not when all the problems disappear. But right now, starting today, when you choose to pause, release, and create it inside yourself.

See you in episode 43.