51 | Why High-Capacity Moms Burn Out Faster (And How to Stop It)

Why High-Functioning Moms Burn Out Faster (and How to Stop It)
Feel like a high achiever who’s always overdoing—but somehow more exhausted and irritable by dinner time? This episode is for the high-functioning mom who keeps the schedules, plans the meals, answers the emails, and still wonders why she’s on fumes. We break down real mom burnout signs, why “doing more” isn’t the fix, and how to stop feeling stressed as a mom without adding another system to your plate. You’ll learn the hidden reasons high-capacity women crash (disconnected needs, worth tied to output, missed limits) and simple shifts to protect your energy, calm your mind, and create real mom life balance—so you can show up steady, not snappy. If you’ve been Googling overwhelmed mom help or how to stop burnout, press play. Practical, compassionate, zero shame—just a new way to lead your life before the crash. 

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I N S T A G R A M - @lisamcovert

Transcript

Lisa Covert: 0:00

How can you continue to go on life and connect and give another mother compassion when she's going through a situation, but then bully yourself? You just heard a clip from today's episode of the Overwhelmed to Empowered Podcast. And friend, this one cuts deep. Because let's be honest, you're not a lazy mom, you're not unorganized, you're not failing. In fact, you're probably the one people look at and say, I don't know how she does it all. You keep the schedules, you juggle the many roles, you answer the calls, you fold the laundry, you plan the meals, and still push through when you're exhausted. That's what makes you high functioning. But here's the truth. High functioning moms burn out faster. Why? Because you're carrying the weight so well on the outside that no one sees how heavy it really feels on the inside. And today we're talking about why that happens, what it's really costing you, and how to stop it before burnout steals the life you actually want. Welcome to episode 51, why high functioning moms burn out faster and how to stop it. Hey, I am Lisa Covert. Welcome to the Overwhelmed to Empowered podcast, where we stop pretending we are fine and start leading lives we are proud of. No more to-do lists, no more burnout, just real talk, real tools, and the reset your heart has been asking for. Let's talk about it. You ever been told, I don't know how you do it all? People mean it as a compliment, and sometimes it feels that way, but it doesn't always feel that way, does it? Because behind the praise is exhaustion. Have you ever heard of the high functioning, high capacity? Some people call them high achievers. Women, moms, people. I did not connect with this at first because I didn't think that I possibly was getting anything done. High achiever? That would be achieving things. What am I achieving? Guilt? Resentment? Snapping at my kids? But here, this is a high functioning mom. She's the mom who remembers the snack, signs the field trip form, keeps the meals halfway healthy, and still answers work emails. She looks dependable, responsible, put together. I mean what? The the form came in. The snack was there. But really, she's running on fumes. She remembered that field trip form last minute, and boy did that spike guilt because she almost forgot. Always feeling guilty that the meal is not healthy enough, or she's not doing enough, or not standing up for her kids enough, or not helping out enough at home and pulling her apart, or not helping out financially enough. No matter what, she's running on fumes. Can you relate to that? Because I can. Here's the secret high functioning, high achiever, high capacity. Again, think of high functioning. She does a lot of things. Those moms burn out faster. And it's not because we are weak. It's because we're disconnected. I want to paint a little picture of your day. You make the dinners, you keep the fridge stocked, you jump between emails and school papers, you help with the homework, you manage the schedules, you try to get the kids in something, or support them wherever they want. And maybe you even squeeze in folding laundry. You're not lazy, you're not unorganized, you're actually crushing it. But here's the problem just because you can't handle it all doesn't mean you should be. High functioning doesn't mean thriving. It means you figured out how to keep going at high speed, even when the tank is empty. And I'm telling you from an example, I'm high functioning. I'll tell you, you can walk in my house. Guess what? It's vacuumed every day. I don't do it. I have a Roomba. Yes, every day I pick up three rugs on the floor. Yes, I close two doors and I press go. But often I will forget to empty it, and it doesn't do a wonderful job. But that's something that I want. With a golden retriever, the hair is crazy. So yes, I vacuum every day, but I don't do it all. What about meal planning? I have meals in the freezer, last-minute things if I don't feel like cooking. But that's because I made extra and I knew nobody was gonna eat leftovers, and I put it in a freezer container. I said, How can I do this? It doesn't work out perfect all the time, but if they like something, I'll put it in the freezer. I prep in ways that feel lighter for me, not heavy. I don't look at planning the week and thinking, oh, I don't have time for that. I think of it as a time saver. I feel lighter. So, you want to know why high functioning equals a faster burnout? Here's the first point. You don't notice your limits until you crash. This is not sitting there and stopping and saying, oh no, I have crashed. I have snapped. You didn't stop before. You didn't feel it brewing, it didn't feel heavy. You went straight there. That is one of the major reasons why we burn out faster. Point two. You confuse doing more with being more. Your worth is tied to that output. Your worth is not tied to that output. It feels like that, but this is why. If you set your day and the dinner plan and or whatever happened, and something, somebody ate something that you planned on making, or the kids call in the middle of the day and you gotta make an extra run, and you didn't get all the work you planned done, or a meeting took longer, or something else popped up, and all of a sudden, your worth's not there anymore because your output isn't as high. That brings you faster to burnout. Third point, you're disconnected from yourself. You can name everyone else's needs, but you can't name your own. I want you to think of it this way. And I have this analogy in my head all the time, and helps me see to make sure that when I do high function, don't let it spiral. It's like driving your car with the gas light on foeks. Just because the car's still moving doesn't mean it's fine. Eventually it's gonna sputter and it's gonna stop. Not because it wasn't strong, but because it ran out. Alright, real talk for a second. Maybe you've heard me mention the Empowered Living six-week course, and you've already thought, yeah, right, I don't have time for that. Trust me, I get it. You're already stretched thing, your brain feels fried, and honestly, another thing on your to-do list? No thanks. But here's the truth. This isn't just another thing. It's the thing that's going to help you breathe again, slow down your racing thoughts, and finally get your energy and your peace back without adding more chaos to your life. Or maybe you're thinking, Lisa, I can't spend money on something right now. My kids need things. Groceries aren't cheap. I hear you. But let me lovingly say this. How much have you already spent on quick fixes? Numbing the stress with endless toy, late-night online shopping, trying to band-aid your burnout, still feeling stuck. The Empowered Living Course isn't another self-help book, collecting dust. It's a step-by-step reset to finally quiet the overwhelming, get your mind and emotions back in check, and actually enjoy your life again. You're worth investing in. Your peace is worth it. And your family, they deserve the best version of you. Not the burnt-out, resentful version just trying to make it to bedtime. So if you've been stuck in the cycle wondering, is this really going to work for me? Let me tell you, yes, it's working for women just like you every day. And it can work for you too. Come check it out at LisaCovert.com and click apply now. I'll meet you there. Here's what I want you to know: burnout doesn't happen because you're not strong enough or you're not worthy enough. It happens because you've been ignoring what actually fuels you. Like I said, when you know somebody else's needs over your own, you're not feeling yourself. You're keeping yourself surviving. You're not putting your point where you're thriving. Okay, we have to be practical here to reset. Because if you're surviving, it's not like, oh, drop the to-do list. It feels like, whoa, all this needs to be done and I need to do it. But let's start by giving yourself permission to lighten the load. It's not by lowering your standards, but it's by shifting just a little bit. It's like the vacuuming daily. Great, but it's the roomba, not the hours in my life of sitting there vacuuming. Yes, because when the dog hair is all over and too much, it feels like I have to stop what I'm doing and survive and handle that. So running a Roomba every day? Yes, that's a shift for me. I remember praying at night and saying, God, I wish there was a way that I can vacuum the floors and put my kids to sleep. And then I said that to somebody and they were like, wait, you can get the robot vacuum. I was like, what? And what about packing lunches? Maybe it is leftovers. Maybe it's a freezer backups that count. And guess what? If dinner flopped, the kids can eat cereal, they'll survive. It's okay. High functioning doesn't mean doing it all. It means knowing your limits. It means knowing yourself and choosing what actually matters. The high functioning does not mean you're in surviving. High functioning means you're choosing your choices. You choose what's on that to-do list. And if you choose to say no, you don't have to go into a rage. You don't have to go and be resentful. People can have their feelings. That's okay. We've been told no before. But knowing our limits is knowing ourselves. How can you continue to go on life and connect and give another mother compassion when she's going through a situation, but then bully yourself? Yes. You can look at it and say, wow, there are some decisions that I have really been putting myself in here. Why do I keep doing that? Forget the why. Just decide. I'm not going to run from this problem anymore. I'm just going to look at it. Am I feeling good about myself by continuing to say yes to this person when I really want to say no? Am I helping my life at all and getting closer to the thriving, the things that I want to do, that peace by continually doing this? Then choose. Because I know that you want your peace. Not every decision is easy to make. We never said that. There are going to be, you have to be, start to get comfortable with being uncomfortable. Because if you're comfortable, comfortable is numbing. Comfortable is scrolling. Comfortable is saying yes to people in the same patterns and complaining about them later. Or knowing that this is a problem on how you're being held back, but we continue to do it. If you wanted to thrive, then that decision is not getting you there. Again, stop ignoring the gas light. It could be a check engine light. If you keep ignoring it, the problem is still there. A truly empowered mom isn't the one who never burns out. She's the one who notices when it's close and makes choices before the crash. Okay, I need a break. I'm needing some help this week. I'm overwhelmed. Are there some things that you can help me out with this week? And if you're ready to stop running on fumes too, here's your next step. Head over to LisaCovert.com slash bootcamp and join the waiting list. I am really excited about this boot camp, and I can't wait for you to know when it first comes out. I have some really, really great things that it is gonna help. I'm excited about it. Um, that's where we go really deep into shifting from that high functioning chaos into an empowered calm. And if you want something right now, grab my free guide at LisaCovert.comslash triggers. It helps you spot the patterns that are draining you so you can start making small and steady shifts today. Remember, both are always waiting for you at LisaCovert.com. I'll see you in episode 52. And remember, high functioning does not mean you need to burn out. You need to make different choices.

Lisa's Two Sons: 14:09

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Lisa Covert: 14:20

If this episode made you pause, reflect, or even breathe a little deeper, would you do me a favor? Take 30 seconds and leave a quick review for the show. It helps more women who are stuck in the same overwhelm we've talked about today actually find this podcast. I'm not here for everyone, but I am here for the woman who's tired of holding it all together and ready to live a life that finally feels like her own. And hey, if you're feeling brave, take a screenshot of your comment and email it to me at Lisa at LisaCovert.com. Every month I do a little giveaway drawing for listeners who share or review the show. You never know, you might get something special. Thanks for listening, thanks for being here, and most of all, thanks for choosing to keep showing up for you.