95) How to Step Into Your Power and Get Out of a Rut: My Sister’s Digital Nomad Story

A few years ago, my sister arrived in Bali feeling completely lost—heartbroken and unsure of her next step. Today, she’s a thriving six-figure digital nomad entrepreneur, living her dream life. How did she turn it all around?

Today is a special episode with my sister Emily Romano who is a subconscious coach with Uplevel with Emily and we are telling her story today. This episode is for anyone struggling with mental health and getting themselves out of a rut and how they can step into their POWER. 

We will dive deep into the mindset, strategies, and key decisions that can help you break through to your next level. The insights shared will help you move with confidence and clarity toward your biggest goals.

• Discover the power of subconscious work and EFT tapping to break through your hardest struggles and days. 

• Learn the critical mindset shifts that separate successful entrepreneurs from those who stay stuck.
  
  
• Get actionable advice on overcoming self-doubt and making bold, decisive moves in your career or business.
  
  

🌍 Where to Connect with Emily:

• Website
  
  
• Instagram 

🛠️ Special Codeword & Offers:

DM me at @christabellatravels and use the code Emily Podcast for exclusive perks mentioned in the episode!

Chapters

• 0:00 Meet Emily: From Dating Coach to Subconscious Coach
• 5:44 Cloud of Despair: Emily's Transformative Crisis
• 11:00 Never Waste a Good Crisis
• 16:02 Somatic Tools for Emotional Processing
• 22:26 Dealing with Trolls and Impostor Syndrome
• 29:02 Investing in Yourself and Education
• 36:14 Taking Action and Final Advice

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:00

Hey there and welcome to the Digital Nomad Life Podcast. I'm your host, Krista, also known as KristaBellaTravels on social media. Please feel free to slide into my DMs, say hi anytime. I love to hear from you. Today's episode I am actually recording in a studio in Bali, Indonesia. If you know my story, that is where I live and I am so grateful for this moment in time because I am being visited by my sister, by my sister, Emily, who is here sitting next to me. Hi, Emily, Hi, Nice to meet you guys. Some people say that we have the same voice, so hopefully you can actually tell us apart.

Speaker 2: 0:35

Well, not right now, because I'm sick, so I think our voice in this episode will sound different. Okay, actually, maybe that is why you're sick, it's really just so people can tell us apart in the episode? Yeah, until we're working out for our highest good.

Speaker 1: 0:45

Yeah, okay, there's probably going to be a lot of laughing in this episode, but I swear we have so much value to bring you. I have been wanting to get my sister, emily, on this podcast for so long. I'm not just interviewing you because you're my sister, I'm interviewing you because you are an entrepreneur and you are a digital nomad and well, okay for the listeners. Two years ago, emily came to visit me in Bali because I've been living here for five years. Emily came to visit me and she was in a very different place than she is now. Will you just tell the listeners about, kind of like, really generally, where you live, like what?

Speaker 2: 1:18

your business is. How long are you here? Yeah, so I'm here, I think, until May, and the reason I'm able to do that is because I have a location independent business.

Speaker 1: 1:28

And what is your location? Independent business. I am a subconscious coach, a subconscious coach, and what does that mean to be a subconscious coach?

Speaker 2: 1:36

I help people let go of the things that are holding them back and create lives that they feel happy in Also, just to pause there.

Speaker 1: 1:42

your social media is a really big part of your business. Happy. And also just to pause there, like your, social media is a really big part of your business. Yeah, could you just expand on that for anyone who's never seen your Instagram or TikTok? Sure, yeah.

Speaker 2: 1:49

So I started this business on social media before I had any clients, before I was doing anything. I just started showing up on TikTok in probably 2021. Because I've been a coach since 2012. So I had a lot of you know things to share when it came to dating and human behavior.

Speaker 2: 2:09

Because you were a dating coach. I was a dating coach. That's how I started out being a coach, yeah, and so I had a lot of things to share and I really enjoyed growing that platform and I wasn't doing it for any other reason other than to just share and I created a community and it felt really good and eventually I started gaining so much traction that my partner at the time said you know, leave your job. I was working at a medical device company at the time and he said you know, leave your job, I'll support you while you build this business and like shortly after that.

Speaker 1: 2:38

Okay. So I think earlier on this episode I was like are you available to talk about all the things? And you were like, yeah, I'm down to be vulnerable.

Speaker 2: 2:46

Yeah so.

Speaker 1: 2:47

I think this partner of yours that, anyway, let's talk about this partner of yours and so he told you to quit your job. And you did. You did quit your job, yeah, and you were on a break from coaching for a few years, right? So he was just like, yeah, you go, babe, build your TikTok following, and so you did, and that was just kind of what you were focused on at the time. So 2021 up until 2022, you were fun, employed and just being a.

Speaker 2: 3:20

TikTok coach. Yeah, and I had clients at the time. Just it wasn't really a. I couldn't have sustained myself on that. It was just a few people in and out.

Speaker 1: 3:28

So I would actually call that like almost like a freelancing coaching business. To me, the difference between freelancing and coaching is you don't really have a systematized way of going about business, like people might still pay you, but it's almost you're still kind of like in the gig economy mindset, like so it sounds like that's what you were in, yeah, but there was a shift where you went from kind of this gig economy, like not really being employed, just kind of like having fun with growing an audience, into creating a business, yeah and yeah. So let's turn back the clock to when you were in Bali and what was going on in your life at the time and why was that so significant as a pivotal turning point to you, going from the gig style into creating a business?

Speaker 2: 4:15

Yeah Well, all of a sudden I lost the entire safety net. I lost basically so much of my identity Like I was no longer partnered Because you broke up. I lost basically so much of my identity.

Speaker 2: 4:24

Like I was no longer partnered Because you broke up. Yeah, well, yes, we broke up. That's one way of saying it. And then another way of saying it would be that he completely betrayed me. When I came to Bali the last time, I probably weighed like 110 pounds and I'm 5'7". That's not good. I was so sick. I'm kind of sick now it's funny With a cold, With a cold now. Yeah, I had typhoid fever last time. It was terrible, so I was just basically like a shell of a person. You put it really well the other day you said you were in a cloud of despair.

Speaker 1: 4:58

Yeah, Not to be overly dramatic but genuinely at that time. Okay, so for the list. I just want to really get this story fully in context. So a couple of years ago, you know, we have family calls like every week or something. Since COVID we did that. Yeah, so we're on the call and I know all about Emily's very traumatic breakup, what you're dealing with, and I knew that you didn't have any specific kind of job that was keeping you in California.

Speaker 2: 5:25

Yeah.

Speaker 1: 5:25

So I was like, why don't you just come here? Bali is such a healing place. And you came and you were here for about a month. But while you were here, you were really just in this kind of like recovery mode, like again not working, not building a business, not, yeah, you really were not in your power at the time. It was just a low moment, yeah. But something happened while you were here. There was a shift in your mindset and then it was like you left Bali and everything started to change and it's been continuing to change. So what was going on in your mind while you were here? That?

Speaker 2: 6:03

You know, there's a big spiritual component to my healing journey that I don't know if is worth getting into. But basically, if I could summarize it, it would be what you had just said. I was not in my power at all and especially as women, we tend to outsource our power to men, and that is absolutely what I had done, and we do that for all kinds of reasons. Doesn't really matter. But I was not standing in my power. I was terrified and didn't really think that what I had to offer this world was super valuable, and that's what happens when you're in a toxic relationship. So that really shifted majorly.

Speaker 1: 6:39

Yeah, and I just want to really dive into that moment because I think there's probably someone listening to this episode right now that's really not in their power, I am guessing. I hope that most people that are listening to this episode are in your power and you're really excited to build a business and you just want to hear success stories. You feel like you are possibly in a cloud of despair, like maybe something really dramatic has happened in your life, or you just have low self-confidence, or you feel betrayed, or you're just you're at your lowest level. Soon you will hear about Emily's transformation and how she's literally running a multiple six-figure business now and is so in your power and like just owning your magical lifestyle, thank you. And like just owning your magical lifestyle, thank you. So, yeah, just going from like zero to 10 over the past couple of years. So just to emphasize that you really started from a place where it didn't. I know you were feeling like you didn't have a lot to offer.

Speaker 2: 7:38

You didn't have a lot going on. It was as low as it could go. Like I remember I would say to Krista like I need to talk to you on the phone every night and I will give you a rating every night of how close I am to being suicidal, like I'm going to cry right now. So I and it's funny because I use that rating system with my clients now I'm like where are you one through 10? 10 is the best day of your life, and one is you don't want to be here anymore. Like where are you one through 10? 10 is the best day of your life and one is you don't want to be here anymore.

Speaker 2: 8:09

And so one of the themes that Chris and I have been talking about the past several days has been this thing of like never let a perfectly good crisis go to waste.

Speaker 2: 8:13

That pain that I was in in Bali and just like at that time in my life was the exact thing that I needed to create the business that I have. Because when someone comes to me now and they say I've had this horrible thing happen to me and all of my childhood trauma has been drudged up to the surface, I'm having a hard time surviving. I'm able to look at that person and be like congratulations, like let's fucking go. Like you know, like this is an opportunity. You know this is an opportunity for your greatest up leveling by the way, my username is uplevelwithemily if you're looking to follow me. But when you go through something traumatic in your life, what's likely going to happen is all of the unresolved stuff that matches that emotional pattern in your life, and your subconscious are being dredged up to the surface because you have now an opportunity to heal it. So you're never in a better position to heal deep subconscious stuff than when you get your heart broken or you get devastated in some way.

Speaker 1: 9:08

Amen. I had never heard that phrase before never waste a good crisis but I love that so much. I think whoever you are listening to this, this is the first time that I've heard it this week and you're probably going to hear me say it all the time because it's so true. I know that the only reason why I have the business that I have is because of shit that I went through Like you know, just whatever. This episode's not about me. I think my listeners know that I've had my own set of challenges and I've transmuted them all into just what I feel is the most beautiful life that I could possibly imagine. Yeah, so tell me about this shift. Like, what was it that shifted?

Speaker 2: 9:48

in you. You know, something just came to me that I want to say is that I don't think I could have been as confident. Or one of the things we say in NLP is that success leaves clues. And seeing your journey and seeing you thrive and be successful, and all these things like I'm a little bit sick, so I think I'm more emotional than normal and I'm also like a triple water sign.

Speaker 2: 10:12

So if I cry like please excuse me, but like, but you have been such an inspiration to me just seeing you model what success looks like and like I'm like well, she's my little sister. If she can do it, that means it's probably safe for me to do it. And so finding people that you look up to and realizing that they're just like you, even if they're not your sister you know what I mean Like you can do it and really really getting clear on the kind of life that you want is so important, because simply saying like I want to make more money, I want to have more freedom, is so like. It's just it's so, it doesn't. It's so vague, like you need to get really specific on what success looks like to you. Sorry, what was your question?

Speaker 1: 10:52

So it was basically like what shifted when you came to Bali. But it sounds like maybe what shifted is you came here and you were like, oh wait, this actually is real, because you hadn't we hadn't traveled together like that before. Like I mean, I'd been traveling for years but you were just very grounded in your sort of domesticated life and your domesticated relationship. For years we were like living. We were going completely opposite directions in terms of our life trajectories, like I'm off, I'm out here traveling the world, and you're like cooking and stuff and taking care of your dog and partner in the United States.

Speaker 1: 11:33

And then it's like, okay, something happened. This breakup obviously shifted everything. You're like, okay, I got to get out of here. You came to Bali. And then you're like, wait a minute, this is my sister. Like we literally come from the same DNA.

Speaker 1: 11:44

Like if she can do it, I can do it, and for me this is a big message that I share with my clients and with my listeners. All the time is like if I can do it, you can do it. Like it's not like we had success handed to us. There's no nepotism in our family. Like we didn't have the most chill childhood, to say the least.

Speaker 2: 12:06

Hashtag trauma.

Speaker 1: 12:08

Hashtag trauma yeah, but it's like never waste a good crisis. However difficult your childhood was, that's probably going to make you amazing in other areas of your life, yeah, so anyway. So you came here and you were like, oh, wait a minute, like I could do something pretty epic.

Speaker 2: 12:27

So to set the stage of this. I'd already built an audience, which is probably the hardest thing to do. You know what I mean or to me it was actually really easy, but most people say it's the hardest thing to do. I already had some success under my belt as a coach. I, like, started my first coaching business at 26. I was 36 at the time, so it was 10 years ago. You were not 36 10 years ago, no, at the time Sorry, I'm 39 right now when this all happened, I was 36. Okay, okay, okay, yeah, thank you. Now everyone knows how old I am.

Speaker 1: 13:00

You old bitch. So there were some wob bed.

Speaker 2: 13:04

So there were some wobbles. There were some definite wobbles. Like, oh my God, now I have to support myself. Like it's one thing, you know, building an audience is one thing and you know, having a couple of clients that all say I'm helping them is one thing, but like I'm really a fraud at the end of the day, I'm an imposter, I'm a fraud. There's no way I'm going to be able to support myself, you know, and so I had. I basically had no choice and the options in front of me were okay.

Speaker 2: 13:32

Either can be a complete failure and fall in your face, and if that were to happen, I'd already sort of like done my fear setting exercise. Like, if that happens, I'm going to have to go live with my mom, I'm going to have to go get a regular job, I'm going to have like the worst case scenario, but I'll still like be okay. And that's the thing I want anyone at home listening. Like, if you were to fail at whatever the thing is you're going for, like what are the permanent life impacts that would have? Like probably pretty low. Like, even if you fail, you're going to be okay. So you might as well just go for it.

Speaker 1: 14:03

What did you call that Fear setting?

Speaker 2: 14:05

Fear setting.

Speaker 1: 14:06

Oh, okay, I have always called it catastrophizing.

Speaker 2: 14:10

I like that too. Same thing I mean.

Speaker 1: 14:11

I think it's so important to actually like look at the fear.

Speaker 2: 14:15

Like define the nightmare.

Speaker 1: 14:16

Yeah, and what is it? And usually the biggest fear that you have is actually not that bad.

Speaker 2: 14:24

Well, usually it's an uncomfortable emotion. It's not even like a bad. It's like if you really drill down the most, the worst case scenarios, you feel bad. Yeah, why are people so scared of feeling bad? Because nobody has taught us as small children about emotional regulation, about emotional mastery, about emotional intelligence? And it's really sad.

Speaker 1: 14:46

And you had to learn a lot about that, especially in your moment of heartbreak kind of crisis.

Speaker 2: 14:51

I will say this is that I was in the best position possible to have had that happen to me when it did, because, number one, I had already been trained in somatic work. So I knew, like I remember, the moment that I found out my ex-partner was cheating on me, I was going into shock and like having like a conversation in my brain, like I'm going into shock. This is so interesting. I've learned all about this and I know what I'm supposed to do, but you're having the human experience while your education is kicking in. It was quite interesting. So I was like, okay, and I know I need to move my body so I don't get stuck. And so I went to yoga that night, whatever. So I was in a really good position because I had my somatic tools that I was.

Speaker 2: 15:30

If I didn't have those tools, my God, I don't even know what I would have done. I don't know if anybody, if everybody listening, will know what that term is. Sure. So soma is, I think, the Latin word for body, and so if you check in with yourself, every time you're having an emotion, you're having an emotion that's in your body and your mind is translating it and your body is your unconscious mind, like you don't have to think about digesting your food, you don't have to think about you know, if a fly ball was heading right towards your face, you would get out of the way before you would consciously be able to recognize that that was happening. So your body, your subconscious mind and your emotional and your nervous system, it's all like the same thing, basically.

Speaker 2: 16:08

And so if you're having an emotional experience, like a traumatic experience, like shock especially I mean that's a very extreme example but like, say, someone cuts me off in traffic, I'm going to feel that emotion rise up in my chest and it usually lands right on my heart space. For everybody it's going to be a little bit different, but that's. Emotions are just energy in motion, and so that energy is coming up to send me a message. If the message is anger, my emotion is trying to tell me my boundaries have been violated, and if I don't do work to process that meaning, move that energy and move to the other side of it, I'm going to carry that around all day. Someone cut me off in traffic. Now I go to my office and someone spills my coffee and I'm going to have a disproportionately large reaction because I didn't really properly move through the embodied sensation of the anger that happened earlier in the day.

Speaker 1: 16:57

So earlier on, just a few minutes ago, you were talking about how, at the beginning of this business that you were creating, there was a lot of imposter syndrome, a lot of fraud. So the emotions that came up for you around those feelings of feeling like an imposter and feeling like a fraud, how did you use your somatic tools to go through those really uncomfortable feelings? And I just want to emphasize this part, because I think imposter syndrome and feeling like a fraud are the main reasons why people don't ever start their businesses 100%, and I'm really proud to say that so many of my clients have started businesses as a result of working with me.

Speaker 2: 17:39

In fact yeah, it really is, in fact, like there's enough of them that I have a group container that's just for my clients who want to be coaches to become coaches. So, like I feel so proud of that because because feeling in your power especially as a woman, but as anybody, is like the it's that's how you can deliver your gifts to the world. You cannot do shit for anybody if you are trying to stay small. And why are you trying to stay small? For what do you? What are you actually afraid of that? Like Joe Schmo from high school is going to say something on the Instagram reel, you post. Who cares? Joe Schmo is too afraid to post anything on his Instagram. That's why he's talking shit about you. I don't know why.

Speaker 1: 18:17

I just sorry to the Joe Schmos. I would actually love to talk about trolling as well. I know that's been like kind of a part of the journey as well. Obviously, you've been growing your audience for years now. How big is your account now?

Speaker 2: 18:32

I have 100,000 followers on TikTok and 70,000 on Instagram.

Speaker 1: 18:35

Yeah, so impressive. There was like a little while where we were like neck and neck and then you just whooped, you just crushed me. That's okay, I'm so proud of you, thank you. And anyway, I know that you put out information that triggers people, so you do get a lot of trolls. So I want to hear about, like, how you've managed that. But I think it's all tied into the same question of again, like, how do you sit with the feeling of I'm an imposter? How do you sit with the feeling of I feel like a fraud? How do you sit with the feeling of people might criticize me, people might judge me. I'm scared of what they think.

Speaker 2: 19:09

Yeah. So every trigger is a teacher, and so when someone says some crazy shit to me on the internet which happens just about daily now at this point in my life I think it's hilarious, but when I first started, it would really really get to me, and even though I have these somatic tools, sometimes I would go straight to a reactive response. And when you are reacting, you are not responding, you're probably doing something dumb that you're going to feel embarrassed about after, and so I'd be like writing in the comments like tell me you have a small dick, without telling me. And it's like you know. Like, yeah, like okay, now you look really immature. You're like I'm, like I'm a teacher of, like you know of, spirituality and like how to be best friends with yourself. Like fuck you stupid little dick. It's like, oh, my God. So embarrassing.

Speaker 1: 19:56

You gotta work through that, the reactionary stuff.

Speaker 2: 19:58

You have to again, like you have to notice that something's happening first, and so the noticing is the hardest part. And so if you can notice like, oh, right now I'm having an emotion, right now I'm having anxiety, right now I'm experiencing something in my body, right there, you've created distance from it, because people say I have anxiety, first of all, languaging it in that way is very problematic, because when you have something you don't want to give it up, and so I'm experiencing anxiety is a way, better way, of languaging. Language is so powerful. So noticing it, finding it, locating it in your body and even just affect, labeling it, just saying okay, that's fear, that's fear, and breathing into it, it reduces the severity of it so much. So that's something you can take home right now. Wait.

Speaker 1: 20:48

I want to hear more about that. So, literally, if I'm okay because I want to think about something that I've been triggered by recently, okay, maybe you can coach me, will you coach me.

Speaker 1: 20:58

Yeah, okay, lately I've been having resistance to showing up on social media Like I've just been really. I mean, I still post on my stories but I want to be sharing more about my business, but I'm like not really doing it as much as I know I as I could be doing as I want to be doing. So how would you like help me move through?

Speaker 2: 21:21

that Okay, when you think of doing it right now. If that resistance had a name of an emotion, what do you think that would be? Oh gosh, I can't believe. I just asked you to coach me now. No, fuck.

Speaker 1: 21:32

Damn it. Oh my God, I'm immediately triggered. Being coached is so triggering, but it's so powerful. Okay, all right, so I have to give the resistance a name. Yeah, what do you mean? A name?

Speaker 2: 21:44

A feeling emotion would be fear, anger, sadness, guilt, shame, hurt.

Speaker 1: 21:52

I know what it is. What is it? Maybe it's shame, shame.

Speaker 2: 21:57

Okay, good, good, good. Now closing your eyes and just notice, where is that shame in your body? Is that shame in your body Somewhere between my head and heart, like this upper? Good, good. And how large is it compared to another object?

Speaker 1: 22:19

Like the size of a bowling ball.

Speaker 2: 22:21

A bowling ball. Okay, and like, and what density does it have? Is it like a bowling ball or is it a different type of density?

Speaker 1: 22:28

I feel like it transmutes shape a lot.

Speaker 2: 22:31

Shape-shifting. Okay, what color is it? Dark purple black, dark purple black. And does it have a temperature? It's cold, cold, okay, okay. And if this cold bowling ball dark purple black, shame had a story or a message, what would that be?

Speaker 2: 22:57

It's not authentic. It's not authentic. Okay, what does it mean about you if it's not authentic, that I'm not authentic. And if you're not authentic, what does that mean about you? That people won't trust or believe me? And if people don't trust and not authentic, what does that mean about you? That people won't trust or believe me? And if people don't trust and believe you, what does that mean about you? My business falls apart, your business is going to fall apart. And if your business falls apart, what would that mean about you?

Speaker 1: 23:21

Oh my God, if my business falls apart, I will be purposeless, I will be broke.

Speaker 2: 23:26

Okay, so it's not about I don't want to show up on social media. What we're talking about is that your subconscious is trying to protect you from being purposeless and broke. Oh dear, do you see that? Do you notice that?

Speaker 1: 23:40

Yeah, it's so ironic because I know that showing up on social media will not make me broke. It will do the opposite. It will help me make more money. Right? Thanks for guiding me through that. That actually is so powerful. This is something that I've been thinking about a lot and I will say to the listeners, because I want to be relatable and I do want to be authentic. I mean, I am committed to being authentic and I think that's why I'm not showing up so much on social media right now is because I feel that, internally, my message has been shifting a little bit away from like you can travel the world, like travel the world. Well, I mean, I definitely still stand by the ultimate freedom thing, but I don't care about traveling the world so much anymore. But that's the kind of content that I've been creating. So now, if I want to create content that feels authentic, I need to be creating content that's like more about designing your life rather than traveling. Can?

Speaker 2: 24:34

I say something Sure. What if you just started making content that was more aligned, just right now?

Speaker 1: 24:42

Yeah, I think this has been something I've been working through over the past couple of days. Yeah, for the listeners like the conversation that Emily and I are having now, like she's all in on the somatic experiencing work and I'm more focused on business and mindset, but I also am very all about the somatic stuff too, and I also do this work on myself. It's so important, so important, and there's no way that you can be successful if you're not doing this kind of work on yourself.

Speaker 2: 25:08

I mean, otherwise you're literally like walking around the world, like reacting to things in a way that makes you kind of an asshole, like I literally just did this, like I'm like since we're being all authentic I'm kind of sick and I'm withdrawing from nicotine, which, like, good for me, high five for me. But some lady at the coffee shop, like she knocked over a chair and didn't pick it up and I was like, oh like, I got so mad and any time that someone else's like, really like stupid and consequential behavior bothers me. I know that that's a cue to check in with myself, because we get so angry at the mirror. The world is just a mirror, and so I guess what I'm trying to say is we are trying to solve the not problem all the time. The problem isn't that lady knocking over the chair. The problem is that I'm feeling dysregulated in my body the chair.

Speaker 1: 26:08

The problem is that I'm feeling dysregulated in my body. Boom burn. Those features are so true. Yeah, I mean, our internal experience does create our reactions, and then our reactions have a ripple effect always, and then that's what shapes our lives. So, anyway, thanks for coaching me through that. I am committed to creating content that feels more authentic. I don't have any resistance to making this podcast because I know the people that listen to my podcast know who I am fully and know that I'm really authentic and vulnerable on here.

Speaker 1: 26:39

It's just this like short form social media content that it's a little stickier.

Speaker 2: 26:44

You know, what's interesting is like we have this thing of like people needing to be consistent, even like in like politics. Like, oh, you had one stance on one thing and you changed, like people are supposed to change. If you're not changing, like like you're a fake plant, like real plants change all the time. Like, if you're not changing, you're a fake bitch or bro, I don't know whatever that's the best tiktok comment comeback I've ever heard.

Speaker 1: 27:10

You're a fake plant, you are, you're being a fake plant right now.

Speaker 2: 27:15

So bad, like I look at my tiktoks in 2021 and I'm like, oh cringe. And then people come to me all the time and they say, like how do I show up authentically on social media? And my answer is you show up badly, you show up as a beginner and you fully embrace being a beginner. Like in Buddhism, there's this whole concept of being the beginner's mind, because if you think you're a master, you're not going to let anything new in anyway and beginners have humility. But the problem is we think that we're supposed to show up as these pros, as these masters, and we're just not. So showing up as a beginner people.

Speaker 2: 27:51

My content has never done better than when I was showing up on social media crying with mascara running down my face, because people don't want the perfect version of you at all. Again, they don't want a fake plant. They don't want the perfect version of you at all. That's again they don't want a fake plant. They don't want a fake plant. They don't be a fake plant. You couldn't be perfect even if you tried. So show up wrong, show up raw, show up imperfectly and like watch the magic unfold.

Speaker 1: 28:15

Yeah, okay. So something that's coming up for me right now is like, because I'm thinking about all of my current clients, people that want to become digital nomads. They want to create their location, independent businesses and have a totally free life, like you and I have, and also the listeners, and there's this, I think, advice. I love what you said, by the way, about consistency. It's like we think we need to be consistent and we know that we need to just do it. We know that we need to just take action. We've heard that advice over and over. People say just start, just start, and that's how you achieve success, that's how you get going, but it's like we don't sometimes because of our internal experience, because we are scared.

Speaker 2: 28:58

Yeah, because of our nervous system. And so I want you to start thinking of yourself right now like a five-year-old child and to start treating yourself like that. And so if you told a five-year-old child, we're going, we're going, and the kid was like I don't want to, I'm scared, and you started screaming at that kid and shaming that kid and being like you're never going to amount to anything. What an asshole you would be. And that kid is, number one, going to internalize the words that you're saying, which your subconscious hears everything you say to it. And number two, it's not going to want to be motivated.

Speaker 2: 29:34

Shaming yourself into motivation doesn't work, and if it did work, it would have already worked Right. So, like, even if you shaming yourself and making yourself wrong did work which it doesn't the success that you got wouldn't feel good anyway. Here's a way that you can do this, and this is something I do for myself is like what would be the just the next thing to do? I've been sick for the past few days and it was like, okay, like you need to brush your teeth. Like, okay, like I this is literally how I talk to myself and this has taken so many years. It's like, okay, kiddo, get up and brush your teeth. Like you know, and like I'm really kind to myself and if I'm not doing something that I like quote unquote should be doing, I'm like really checking in about like why that is and giving myself a break.

Speaker 1: 30:19

So the takeaway here is that if someone is out there listening and they want to change their life, they want to have a freedom-focused life, they think they want to be an entrepreneur, but they're scared. They're, you know, thinking, they know they quote should just do it. They should just get started. The advice is actually start talking to yourself as if you were a five-year-old and be nice to that five-year-old and just make it digestible.

Speaker 2: 30:46

One small thing, do something, because you're proving to your nervous system slowly that it is safe. I remember when I was in Bali and I was in that cloud of despair, I changed my Instagram username to UplevelWithEmily, so it was something. I got a win. So like we learn that, like winning is safe by little wins, and like you have to be able to celebrate little wins, because if you're not celebrating little wins and like I'm even guilty of this and I noticed myself doing it too is like I'll do something, then I'm like, oh yeah, but it's not that big of a deal because I should be doing this.

Speaker 1: 31:19

Oh my gosh, I am remembering a moment where you told me you had made $100,000 in your business. Yeah, and I was like that's amazing. Oh my God, I was so excited for you and you were like, oh, and you like didn't think it was that big of a deal.

Speaker 2: 31:34

I do remember that conversation and thank you for and this is why we need good coaches in in our lives and, like Krista and I, I think, coach each other a lot and she was like let's just like zoom out and like most businesses fail after the first year and you made six figures. And I was like you know, cause I live in California and it's so expensive. And she's like, stop, you made six figures, yeah, and I was like, but taxes and da, da. And she's like, but you made six figures and I was like you know what? Fuck, you're right.

Speaker 1: 32:07

Yes, and I was like you know what? Fuck? You're right, yes, you made six. I just think that's so cool, like making first of all, making your first six figures is so impressive because what?

Speaker 1: 32:11

that is is literally you had an idea in your mind, a vision, some kind of dream, because no one accidentally makes real money. So you had some kind of dream in your mind and then you actually, little by little by little, nice conversation by nice conversation by you, actually, little by little by little, nice conversation by nice conversation by nice conversation, coaching yourself, little by little by little, you energetically generated this money.

Speaker 2: 32:32

You magnetized an income to yourself and I invested in myself. And I invested in myself in ways that felt terrifying at the time. And that's another thing. If you want to be successful, you're going to have to invest in yourself, especially for coaching. What does investing in yourself mean?

Speaker 2: 32:48

So, like I remember, like so I just come back from Bali and I was like, fuck, I've got to make this business work or, or you know, I'm going to fail. And I had gotten some clients. And it's so funny because as long as you have an internal wobble, it doesn't matter what happens on the outside. So every single client and I feel really proud to say this that I've ever worked with has gotten amazing results. I have a hundred percent success with my people.

Speaker 2: 33:11

Yeah, so at the time I still had it, but I felt like a fraud still, and a mutual friend of ours, patrick, was like hey, we're good, we're doing Tony Robbins and I had no business investing in that, you know. But I did. And then I invested in my education and I went back to school for advanced NLP, back to school for master's level NLP, back to school for hypnosis. Like I spent about a year and felt terrifying and I didn't feel ready, and that has paid back so many dividends because I had to believe there was part of maybe it wasn't 100% my truth, because there was part of me that felt like an imposter, but there's also a part of me that felt like I could do it and I had to prove to myself that I was worth it through investing.

Speaker 1: 34:07

How did you decide to go into learning NLP? Because this was not like a traditional school, right? Right, it's not like you went to a university, right? I just want to clarify this because I do think that there are a lot of people. Well, my position is that university, at least American universities and the price.

Speaker 2: 34:23

Thank you, it's a total scam.

Speaker 1: 34:25

It's a total scam. I'm not saying that you shouldn't seek education. What you did, emily, is you did seek education, but you were like I'm not going to spend you know $300,000 to go get some master's in therapy. So you chose to go to NLP school and that was investing in yourself. Would you mind sharing how much?

Speaker 2: 34:48

that was yeah. I probably invested $20,000 in my education.

Speaker 1: 34:54

Okay, so still a lot of money, for sure, but not $300,000. Right, and you probably moved through the process a whole lot faster.

Speaker 2: 35:02

Oh my God, it was so fast. It was like drinking through a fire hose yeah, yeah, Invest in some kind of education.

Speaker 1: 35:08

But to me, the thing about university being a scam is like I think when you go not all the time, but sometimes when you are going to university you're investing in society's expectations of you. Yeah, but you're you're investing in society's expectations of you, but you're not necessarily investing in yourself.

Speaker 2: 35:28

And there's this whole thing about conforming to society, which may have worked in a pre-digital age when it was like, okay, go to the library and the library holds the keys to all the information, and there's this one person that's got the information behind a closed door. But now we live in the digital age with the internet. The information is out there. It's out there Like if you have to learn a skill like being a doctor or a dentist or a lawyer or, you know, an NLP practitioner or breathwork, like being a practitioner of any kind is different and you do need to go to school for it. But this whole idea of like one person holds the keys to the information and if you don't go through them, you don't get the information, is bullshit. It's outdated, yeah for sure.

Speaker 1: 36:09

Definitely, I would like to drop in that I do have a place where you can learn all kinds of information. It's not that I have the only keys in my business called the Digital Nomad Life Academy, but I guide you to all the different places that you can be learning all different kinds of skills that will liberate you so that you can have a free lifestyle, just like.

Speaker 2: 36:31

Emily and I have.

Speaker 1: 36:32

Skills, right Skills. Yes, it's all about your skills, you teach skills yeah, it's skills.

Speaker 1: 36:37

And also, like I, do a lot of mindset work, which is you know what your business is 100% work, which is what your business is 100%. It's a huge aspect of mine, because I can't teach business without addressing the reason why people are not doing the things that I'm asking them to do. I can say, okay, the next step is show up on social media, but if someone's got fear, they're not going to do it, and then I don't get the result. I don't get to say that I have a lot of great results as a coach, so I need to help people through the mindset stuff too. Anyway, if anybody is listening to this and you are curious about how you can completely change your life, you might not know what career you want to pursue, like you might not know that you want to be a life coach, like Emily. Or you might not know that you want to be a business coach, like me. Or maybe you don't know that you want to be a consultant or a freelancer, or a designer or a editor or whatever. There's a million things that you can do to work online. If you don't know what you want to do to work online, but you know you want to have a free life. That is exactly what I can help you with.

Speaker 1: 37:39

So if you do slide into my DMs on Instagram, send me the keyword Emily Podcast E-M-I-L-Y Emily Podcast and then I'll know you came from this episode and we can talk about how I can support you in figuring out what is your best career path to move forward, and I will share with you how you can move forward with that, whether that is taking an online course or whether it's I mean, maybe it's going back to school in the traditional way, but, like, probably not, Probably not I will probably share with you all the shortcuts that you could possibly take to get from where you are now to where you want to be. And just remember the story of Emily, where you were like at a level one out of 10 and weren't believing in yourself, didn't really know exactly what you were doing, moving forward, but you sat with it, you stayed open-minded and you moved forward. And now here you are back in Bali two years later, multiple, six-figure business, just like living your best life, honestly, able to extend your trip by a month because you feel like it and just having it all. Having it all, yep, and there's more to go. Yeah, so that's how people can find me.

Speaker 1: 38:51

But, emily, if someone wants to work with you, how would they go about getting in touch with you, and what kind of work would you do with them?

Speaker 2: 38:58

So you can find me on Instagram and on TikTok at uplevelwithemily E-M-I-L-Y. I have a website, uplevelwithemilycom. You can find me at, and it really depends on the person. So I don't work with everyone, so I just want to say that. So the only people that I will work with are people that are ready to take full responsibility for their lives, and if you are ready to take responsibility, even if you're not doing it, as long as you're committed to being ready, I'll work with you. I work with people. I work with men in a men's group. I work with people who want to be aspiring coaches in a coaching container. I work with women who are recovering from toxic relationships in another container, and I do take one-on-one clients. The one-on-one client work is something that I vet people for pretty heavily. So if you want to submit an application, I would love to meet you and get a discovery call which is free, nice yeah.

Speaker 1: 39:51

Amazing. So they can find you up live with Emily. You can find me at Christabella Travels and I guess, before we go, emily, do you have any other words of advice or wisdom for somebody who is desiring to change their life, wanting or curious about entrepreneurship and maybe is having some resistance? Like, what would you say to that person?

Speaker 2: 40:11

I would say that any kind of resistance that you're having is a part of you that really loves you and wants to keep you safe, probably from humiliation, and so if you're getting frustrated with yourself about that, remember so. If you're getting frustrated with yourself about that, remember that you're actually getting frustrated with a part of you that's probably very young five, six years old who really wants to fit in, who really doesn't want to be excluded from the group and to treat yourself with the attending compassion that that version of you deserves, because shaming yourself is never going to work. And if you're noticing these limiting beliefs, come up, you can heal them, reach out. That's what I do.

Speaker 1: 40:51

Here we are, okay, just two people, humble beginnings, having changed our lives completely, and I know that if we can do it, then definitely you can do it too. You just probably need a little bit of clarity and a little bit of work through whatever your fears are. But there are tools for that, there are directions for that, there are strategies for that. There are ways through whatever experience you are having right now that makes you feel like it's impossible, that makes you feel like there are no options. You always have options. You have so many possibilities that lay before you. It's just clearing away the cloud of despair. Yeah, you got to clear away the cloud first, and then you can see what's the song.

Speaker 1: 41:40

I can see clearly now the rain is gone. Anyway, thank you so much for listening to Digital Nomad Life Podcast Emily thanks so much for being here.

Speaker 2: 41:51

Thanks for visiting me in Bali. Well, thank you for inspiring my entrepreneurial journey.

Speaker 1: 41:53

You're the real deal. Yay, all right guys. Thanks so much for listening and we'll see you in the next episode. Bye.