Gregory Sellers: Ex-Monk / Super Mr. Mom / Zen Skater

@gjsellers

The scene:
We are in Santa Fe, New Mexico in the dining room/greenhouse of Gregory’s home for an off-chance, last-minute interview opportunity that almost didn’t happen due to a possible veterinary appointment and a childcare snafu.  But, we made it happen!  Gregory tried despite it all and I was ready and willing whenever he pulled the cord.  These are my favorite kind of interview because they end up being full of discovery, surprises, and delight by all participants - including little ones.  Join us for a rich conversation about leaving the world of a Zen monk for the world of a Zen working dad.

Highlights:
+ From skateboarding in PA to meditating in NY and Japan
+ Spent 7 years in Japan in a Zen Buddhist monastery (age 22-27)
+ Ordained as a monk in ’99, left the monastery in ’06
+ Relocating to NM to build a Zen temple
+ From monk to partner to father
+ Fatherhood as THE training just as being a Zen monk was the training
+ Charlie (2) and Tobias (1) join us (with a banana snack)
+ The REAL life of caring for toddlers…while doing an interview
+ Becoming a father at 46
+ Ginger Snaps - an appropriate dad snack
+ Anyone in a monastery wants an “out”
+ There is no “out” from parenthood
+ Children as teachers
+ The rarity of being self-possessed
+ How to live a pure, authentic, high-quality life from the essence of who we are
+ The limitation of words in describing the hugeness of our life’s pursuit
+ The inquiry of how to live the highest quality lives we can, exactly as we are
+ Go back to the source and get real
+ Nothing is wrong - but we fear that it is
+ Pushing yourself into a very small tight box
+ Learning to silence our inner critic
+ Courage, fearlessness, and transparency
+ Saying yes! - spontaneity takes courage
+ Making Zen your own and calling it a practice
+ Being a genius master at blocking yourself from the truth
+ Your work is right in front of you - wherever you go, there you are
+ We don’t get to flake out on life if we want a rewarding one
+ The one thing you can’t [afford to] screw up with your kids is being unconditionally loving with them
+ We are not our children’s choices
+ Fish don’t see water in the same way humans don’t see energy
+ Accepting someone exactly as they are - non-judgement
+ The goal of “just one day sooner”
+ “There’s no salesmanship in truth”
+ “If I light up me, I light up you”
+ We don’t have to get anyone to change
+ Being an extroverted introvert - outgoing AND shy
+ Learning to just be reasonable
+ Solo retreats are community supported also
+ There is no separation between an individual and their community
+ Reciprocircle - our newly made-up word
+ Everything’s gonna be ok
+ Love the things you’re doing - don’t check out

A taste:
“That’s what love is - is accepting people, appreciating people exactly as they are, exactly how they are.”

Favorite saying:
“Pop Art is to love things.” 
- spoken by Andy Warhol in response to being asked, “What is Pop Art?”