Hello savvy leaders! Here we are for episode 23! 

The one single word that will serve you well to drop from all vocabulary. 

Should.

Should, by definition, is used to indicate obligation, duty, or correctness. It is typically used when criticizing someone's actions. As I always say. No one likes to be should on. 

You can find the full transcript of this episode at crazybigdreams.biz/23.

We don’t typically intend to criticize someone when we’re suggesting they ‘should’ do this or that. Often times it casually comes out in conversation. “Ooh, you should totally read this book.” I catch myself saying that a lot. “You should come with us to the park.” 

Certainly, there are instances when we do say it and mean it with criticism. “You should put 
different shoes on.” When speaking to our kiddos. “You should eat more vegetables.” 

Communication for Direct Sales Leaders to Instill More Belief in Your Team Members

The big problem with ‘should’ is when communicating with our team members it does the opposite of instilling belief in them. I know this is one of your top goals; to have them believe in themselves more. Dropping should from your communication will help with this tremendously. Here’s why:

The trouble with “should” is that regardless of how we intend it to come out, your team member can be hearing judgment & criticism. It’s difficult not to. It almost always sounds like criticism, judgment, and advice, unsolicited much of the time. 

Even if we are asked for advice, including the word should leaves the other person to think they didn’t get it right on their own. They need to be directed and told how to go forward. 

It doesn’t leave room or space to lift someone up. It doesn’t give them the benefit of the doubt that they see another option or could have discovered the way forward on their own. 

People won’t remember what you did or even what you said. They will remember how you made them feel. Using the word should almost never leaves someone feeling good. 

There are so many different ways, and words to choose, to leave others feeling good, included, capable, worthy, and enough. 

How to Help Your Direct Sales Team with Communication

For example, if a team member asks you how to go about talking with someone they feel would be a great fit for your business opportunity and she asks you “How do I have that conversation?” Instead of saying, “you should just talk to her” or “you should bring up the topic” or “you should ask her ….” 

Instead, you can respond with “You’re so easy to talk to, Alicia. How would it feel to ask her….?” Or “She will likely be flattered that you thought of her. What if you start by complimenting her on why you feel she would be a great fit?” 

Do you see how dropping should altogether simply has a much different tone? 

How  Top Leaders in Direct Sales Stop Criticizing  Themselves

So let me ask you. How do you feel when your self-talk includes should? Not very good, right? You’re getting down on yourself and criticizing yourself. “I should have contacted Emily weeks ago. I should have followed up with Jessica already. I should stop being so pushy, sensitive, doubtful… “ and the list goes on. 

I invite you after listening here to simply notice. Raise your awareness around when you are using the word should with yourself and with others. 

For more on improved communication with your team go to the full transcript at crazybigdreams.biz/23.