E23 - The Importance of Interviewing Interns

Agenda:

• Final update on the camera replacement project (to remove the WeWatch malware)
• Introduction of new intern, Melanie Hubbard!

Takeaways:

• Everyone review results of Melanie’s background check and vote on if we should offer her a position to stay
• Matt follow through on idea of how to connect Melanie and John
• Kate to remember to take breaks

Melanie Hubbard was played by Jenny Kessler, who can be found online and in person doing improv with Letters to Chicken, Brad's Dad, and Babeprov. You can request to follow @JennyKessKlump on both Instagram and Twitter.

Transcript

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Ben 0:07

welcome to this startup is being recorded. This recording is improvised fiction. Similarities between it and the real world are entirely intentional. Now enjoy the recording.

Kate 0:26

Okay. Uh, Hey everybody. Um, just another Wednesday. Um, we're all here with our new intern, Melanie hopefully have one of the final meetings about taking the cameras out of all the devices are corrupted with we watch. Um, and guess Matt, you said that Melanie might play a role in this project and that's

Matt 0:49

Oh, yeah. Are you kidding me? Uh, I mean, this is basically Melanie's show at this point, uh, for those who maybe haven't met, uh, Melanie Hubbard applied to, uh, be an intern, uh, gosh, a couple of weeks ago, I guess, and, uh, recommended by MJ. Uh, so like she knows what's up with the, we watch firmware, uh, and just has. Really speeding things up. Uh, yeah. I don't know. I'm sorry. We've been really work focused on this stuff. Everybody's bringing a lot of devices. I mean, we're looking at like, you know, siblings of cousins of roommates here who have been infected with this. Uh, I'll call it malware. We can do that. Uh, even though this is recorded. Hi, I'm Jay. so.

Melanie 1:34

and Matt I'm. I'm sorry. It was actually a everybody. Uh I'm uh, Melanie. I am so excited to be here. Thanks for the introduction. And I'm just going to like take, I don't know, like 30 seconds to

Matt 1:47

Yeah, please tell, tell everybody about.

Kate 1:50

Oh, sure.

Melanie 1:52

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I told myself. Cry or get emotional and I shouldn't know, work. Um, yeah, it's just, you know, some of, you know, I've, I've, uh, I'm very familiar with CIT and, I've interviewed with each of you, um, a couple of times you know, various positions. Um, you know, got my MBA, uh, at cathedral and John, um, he spoke at the commencement address and it was just.

Kate 2:24

Oh,

Melanie 2:24

It was so amazing. Um, so yeah, and that was actually

Kate 2:29

He's not

Melanie 2:30

sorry.

Kate 2:30

speaker.

Melanie 2:31

Oh no. Oh my God. It was, it was

Calathea 2:37

Um,

Melanie 2:37

believable. I mean, it was very pithy. It was short, it was

Matt 2:41

Yeah.

Melanie 2:41

minutes. Um, but the fact that. Contribute with such gravity was so inspiring, but yeah, it's been, um, 15 days and four hours and 13 minutes. Um, since I've been here as an intern, uh, and you know, that's been so great and really kind of let me, explore and my, um, my past, uh, work, which was. Paid my not internship with, uh, with we watched working on the, um,

Matt 3:20

Oh,

Melanie 3:20

the team that did, uh, the install.

Matt 3:23

yes.

Melanie 3:23

So,

Matt 3:24

Melanie. You, we, we pay our interns. Uh, you should, you should be getting paid. Um, I put in all of your paperwork, uh, actually before you started. So I usually goes through pretty fast.

Melanie 3:39

yeah. Um,

Kate 3:41

with the system, uh, of paperwork. So

Matt 3:45

Oh,

Kate 3:45

you should just do it again, Melanie.

Melanie 3:49

Um,

Matt 3:50

well, I've got, I've got all of her details, you know, I can, uh, I can go ahead and just, uh, Punch that in again now it's, uh,

Kate 3:58

Yeah.

Matt 3:58

it, it's not a part of you're sure. This is the, you said there was a problem, Kate, with the automated system, you.

Kate 4:06

I know, I, I, most of my systems don't have problems like this, but this one had a problem.

Eric 4:11

Oh, I see. I see, I see.

Melanie 4:14

Um,

Eric 4:14

I just got another notification because you've applied to be an intern so many times it's, it's coming up as if it's us. Uh, entry. And so it's, it's, it's rejecting an automatic. Can you, can you try, like putting her in, throw in with the middle initial as well?

Matt 4:33

Yeah. Okay. I mean,

Kate 4:35

Yeah, try that.

Matt 4:36

we can just fuzz this thing. Sure. If that's gonna

Eric 4:39

it.

Melanie 4:40

Um,

Kate 4:41

We should do interest of everyone,

Eric 4:43

Yes.

Kate 4:43

something we just do for all of our recorded meetings. Um, I think Melanie, maybe you've already done yours. I will say. Unless

Melanie 4:52

okay.

Kate 4:52

you need to add.

Melanie 4:55

I was just waiting. I was wondering if you would know when my top secret clearance would come through.

Kate 5:03

Uh,

Melanie 5:04

I applied for the government clearance on your request? Uh,

Kate 5:11

Oh,

Eric 5:12

top secret clearance.

Matt 5:13

whose request. Yeah, we don't, uh,

Melanie 5:15

yeah, she, um, had me submit like 15 years of work records and has been conducting personal interviews, um, for the project.

Kate 5:28

Right. We do. just sort of like a background checkup. I know. I probably said top secret government clearance. Cause that's kind of like level of background check we try to do. And you guys might not be familiar with this because it's just a random sampling. We obviously don't want to do this for

Matt 5:44

I said, okay, because.

Kate 5:45

pick

Matt 5:46

are lots of people that have worked for the company that definitely didn't get scrutiny. I would just say any amount of scrutiny.

Kate 5:55

That is true.

Calathea 5:56

it would be great to know if that's a new hiring process, because as you know, I have, I'm very selective about what we ask my team members.

Melanie 6:06

Um,

Kate 6:07

We definitely won't be random sampling anyone from your team Thea.

Calathea 6:12

Thank you.

Matt 6:12

Well, that's kind of, that

Eric 6:13

Not random.

Kate 6:15

Well it's of the rest of the pool. It'll be a brand.

Matt 6:19

Okay.

Kate 6:19

We're mostly just doing it for interns now that are part of Matt teams Matt's team and joined in the last three weeks.

Melanie 6:27

yeah.

Matt 6:28

Okay. That's

Calathea 6:29

this is our first.

Matt 6:31

Yeah.

Kate 6:32

Yeah.

Melanie 6:33

Oh,

Matt 6:34

and I I've never, I mean, this is my first intern hire actually, when I, when I put out the job at, it was for, uh, a full. Full time position just on a part-time basis. Like it was a contract, but then the system downgraded it to internship. And I dunno. K, you just said it was, it was okay.

Kate 6:57

Yeah. Um, let's, let's do intros. I think

Matt 7:01

right.

Kate 7:01

to move on

Matt 7:02

Sorry. Yeah. Okay. Why don't you go ahead.

Melanie 7:04

Sorry.

Kate 7:05

it's okay. I'm Kate I'm a chief of staff. I work directly under John. John is my superior. He is my manager. and John is someone who, who I talk to and work with direct. Um, because he respects me as his employee. Um, would anyone else like to go

Calathea 7:27

Okay. Um, um, I am the chief creatives are here. Um, I'm sensing a lot of tension in the room. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to interrupt in droves, but maybe we go through, we could just do a quick breathing exercise.

Matt 7:47

okay.

Melanie 7:48

You're still good at this.

Eric 7:52

Uh, I'm Eric Troy Carter, chief product officer here at. Uh, and since we're got some new people, I like snowballs and snowballs a lot.

Melanie 8:01

Terry I heard. That's your

Eric 8:05

Yeah. That's yeah, that's true.

Matt 8:08

Uh, Hey, I'm. Matt.yachts. Uh, it's also my website and I'm the CTO here at, uh, middle market. And I'm uh, sorry. Right.

Eric 8:20

Okay. Dollar in the jar.

Matt 8:22

I will, yeah, let me put the dollar in the jar. No, the, uh, all of our hiring stuff's still says Metro market, by the way. Um, I don't want. Yeah, whoever's doing our QuickBooks integration. Anyway, I put this stuff back in, uh, for you and it's it's coming up and saying it was manually rejected. Um, yeah, no, I see the spam flag on here and I cleared that. I resubmitted with your middle name. I added Northwest to your. Uh, address and, uh, plus, uh, sit at the email.

Kate 9:01

Um,

Eric 9:03

Kate. Why do you have a keyboard? Uh, under the desk?

Kate 9:06

can we just sidebar this, everyone? I would like to take this

Matt 9:10

okay. Is this hook K R U

Kate 9:13

on

Matt 9:14

K I,

Calathea 9:15

Okay.

Eric 9:15

We're not going to right. Click.

Matt 9:17

your account name is on the rejection. You, you did it. You rejected the.

Kate 9:23

All of HR uses.

Melanie 9:27

I thought, I thought we had a really strong connection. You know, we talk, I talk, you talked, we talked for 45 minutes and it was really nice.

Kate 9:38

I was trying to have my silent lunch where I do every variation of Wordle. you talked for 45 minutes. I w. get this sorted out folks. We can have a separate meeting. This meeting is supposed to be about frigerators or something.

Eric 9:56

I'm sorry, I just need to know. Can you type with your feet paid?

Kate 10:01

yes.

Melanie 10:02

she can.

Calathea 10:04

I, I CA could you just in, you know, 30 seconds or less, tell us how you learned that skill.

Kate 10:12

I definitely can. Um, so in college I was doing, uh, as many of, you know, the type of sleeping where you only sleep for 15 minute naps every

Eric 10:23

Yes.

Kate 10:24

Um, and you have to find. Yeah, you have to find ways to occupy yourself in the middle of the night. Most people are asleep. so I found that if I could use all of my extremities, that it would do a better job of activating parts of my brain that would help force me to stay awake, even in pitch blackness, because you know, it's not fair to the migratory birds to

Matt 10:45

wait,

Kate 10:45

lights on at night just for

Matt 10:46

hang on. So you, you not only type with your feet, you touch type with.

Kate 10:52

yeah, you don't need to look at it. You just feel.

Matt 10:56

I guess,

Melanie 10:56

important skill. Okay. Like some of us have been working on it for years. After reading Kate's blog posts.

Matt 11:03

oh,

Melanie 11:04

harder than you think

Matt 11:06

hang on. I didn't know you had a blog, Kate.

Kate 11:09

okay. That

Melanie 11:10

old?

Matt 11:11

I put everybody's blogs in my feed reader. Come on. What's your, what's your address? I would love to find.

Kate 11:17

No,

Melanie 11:18

Um, no, it's, it's, uh, it was a thing I can.

Kate 11:24

How did you even find my blog search entrance? Can't find my blog. I have

Melanie 11:28

No, I've done deep words, uh, deep web searches on everyone in the company

Matt 11:36

Doesn't surprise me.

Melanie 11:38

You're so cool. You're great. Um,

Matt 11:42

That's a very good.

Melanie 11:42

of, it was, it was part of the other job that watch.

Matt 11:47

yeah, MJ, uh, does a lot of heat basically treats client opportunities like opposition research, um, cause he likes to have leverage, I guess, I guess that doesn't surprise me too much. Well, Melanie, I'm sorry. It seems like we're off to of a weird. For what, for what it's worth everybody nobody's has been doing great work, swapping out all these cameras,

Eric 12:12

Yes.

Matt 12:13

clean new firmware installed on everything, uh, yeah. We're, we're clearing out the backlog on this thing. And now that we've got Eric's fridge in here, uh, and, uh, Eric, did you bring the nest thermostat?

Eric 12:26

Yeah,

Matt 12:27

Awesome. Uh, yeah, I think those are, those are some of the last hotspots that we've got to worry about and, uh, Melanie has really crushed it. So, you know, thank, thank you, Melanie.

Eric 12:38

that is exciting.

Melanie 12:40

oh,

Matt 12:41

don't understand like the energy in this room. I mean, Califia you pointed it out, but it's, uh, it's really.

Melanie 12:49

I don't.

Calathea 12:50

Yeah, I get the distinct impression that there might be a baby bird trying to push another baby bird off out of the nest.

Melanie 12:59

I just,

Kate 13:00

I.

Calathea 13:00

I say that there is enough regurgitated Grewal for all of us. So I don't understand why this behavior is, you know, happening.

Melanie 13:12

okay. Did either baby births or rebirths together. Do

Matt 13:16

I think, yeah.

Kate 13:19

I okay. I take personal offense. The idea that I'm a baby bird, I take more offense to the idea that the work John gives us is regurgitated. Grool. John cares about this company and although he may not show it, um, he is the best boss I've ever had.

Melanie 13:36

is the best boss I've ever had. So.

Calathea 13:40

was not meant to be a slander against John. A regurgitated grill is very nutritious for mother bird to feed their baby birds. And we all know that John has kind of a fetish about objects and. Being a large example of.

Melanie 13:58

Yeah. Yeah. It was a in 94 that really kind of kicked up. Um, it was a special year of, of college

Matt 14:08

that's right.

Melanie 14:09

time. Um,

Matt 14:13

He, didn't tell me that story until we were doing Iowasca together. Well, how did you hear that? That's he never tells anyone the regurgitation story.

Melanie 14:22

Weird, uh, you know, um, I don't know, like four weeks and two days ago, you, you were in the break room. Um,

Matt 14:33

Uh,

Melanie 14:35

Uh, cause that's sort of the last, no, Nope. I, um, I didn't, I didn't, uh, but the, camera,

Kate 14:46

the fridge

Matt 14:47

Yeah,

Kate 14:48

have a smart fridge in the break room guys.

Matt 14:51

and we hadn't gotten around to pulling the camera on it yet. Uh, so it was running, we watch and you, right. Well, you know, it's nice to put a face. I always wonder who MJ puts on these things. I know he doesn't trust AI to do it yet. So a nice to know who was watching us.

Melanie 15:09

Yeah. It was only like three months. Um, it was fine. It was actually, it was really, it was really good. Uh, I, I know so much about you guys you're just really beautiful. You.

Kate 15:22

I was just when, when you did things like take the cameras out of our employees, devices like Eric's fridge, for instance, didn't, the point is just to take the camera out, wipe all the data, replace it, right. There was absolutely no storing or or.

Melanie 15:41

Um, Was the gab wiping is the end Um, but since I also do the 15 minutes of sleep thing, been able to really, expeditiously, you know, review all the footage and, and take screenshots and then clear the logs, um, So it's, I've gotten pretty good at it. Uh, and I, you know, it's really just, it's about supporting the company, you know, I just, I want to know everything about you all, the time.

Eric 16:19

So, yep. Screenshots and meeting special sandwich.

Kate 16:22

I don't sleep for 15 minutes, every two hours anymore. Just, I hope everyone knows that

Melanie 16:29

I mean,

Kate 16:30

work a full eight hours at least in a row every day. And when I do take lunch breaks, it's only because need them for my mental health that I just, I don't want you guys what Melanie is saying and thinking something about.

Calathea 16:42

Kate it's okay. You know, that's something the body needs and taking rest time and taking time off in the days is actually incredibly healthy for your productivity. I, for instance, take 10 minutes every hour to sure that I mentally recharge and do things that stimulate my brain and prepare it for the creative challenges.

Matt 17:07

and like, I don't know, 20% of my team is, is still smoking. Not because they, they want the nicotine, they just need the reminder to get up. Uh, otherwise they get RF.

Melanie 17:20

Right, right. Um, but you know, it was just. I was just going through the Zynga and it was between the entry about crush on the entire band of death cab for cutie, um, complaining about her mom she really outlined just step-by-step how, how wonderful the system was. Um,

Calathea 17:43

denied it. But I knew from the very first part that I met you, that you had some very deep seated mother trauma.

Matt 17:52

oh, I thought you were going to say deep cab for cutie Phantom. I, is it transatlantic autism? Which what's your favorite?

Kate 18:01

okay. There's a lot coming out about me right

Matt 18:04

Oh, sorry. Sorry.

Kate 18:05

I was not planning on having come out about me in this meeting and I I'm dealing with my mother issues. Okay. I am

Melanie 18:14

therapy is working so well.

Kate 18:17

that you shouldn't know that

Melanie 18:21

I mean, the reason I got by I mean one he's new. And so it was a really great opportunity to start a new relationship. No.

Matt 18:32

Sorry. You know, I, I never thought to look back in the previous applicant history. Like I looked at people we've hired before and she wasn't in there, but I never, never thought to check, you know, the old outbox

Melanie 18:47

look, I am not nefarious. I am not like I'm not doing this to hurt you or the company. I am just ready to, to level up and to be a city. B a a adult sitter, not, I was a baby that are, and now I just wanna,

Kate 19:08

We're not sitter.

Melanie 19:09

I mean, right.

Matt 19:11

we dropped that because it was well

Eric 19:13

Yeah.

Matt 19:14

Baby-Sitters club lawsuit, but yeah,

Melanie 19:18

I knew I missed something.

Matt 19:21

it's it's it's okay. Look, look, Melanie. You know, we're, we're all here because we want this company to succeed. We generally believe in John's vision, uh, for, for the scope of the company. uh, you said it was an obsession with John that brought you here. What, what is it you hope to get from John by working at CIT? I mean, this isn't his only project. In fact, I wouldn't say that we get very much of his time at all.

Melanie 19:55

Well, um, I'm hoping to change that. Uh, you know, I've been, uh, I've been working on his. I don't want to call it a dossier. That seems a little intense, um, for like the last eight years and just the trajectory of his career. I said, he just, he blew me away with his four and a half minutes.

Kate 20:22

I have to, I'm sorry. I have to stop you because I just did a little digging myself the last few minutes with my feet um,

Melanie 20:33

That's so cool. Sorry.

Kate 20:34

know, that Melanie's last name is Hubbard. and so you may potentially see the connection to Hubbard, the founder of Scientology. Um, and I guess I've been noticing recently that John has been getting into some interesting new groups of friends. Um, are you guys seeing how I'm tying these pieces together?

Calathea 21:01

Okay, Kate, um, No, I do. I do get it. I do wonder if there aren't enough red flags here on their own. I mean, it seems like Melanie is just what we would call in marketing parlance, a stalker or a Stan

Melanie 21:21

Oh,

Eric 21:21

Um,

Melanie 21:22

I love Stan. I feel like that's such a great new term. Um,

Matt 21:26

it's,

Eric 21:27

and stopped out.

Matt 21:28

Yeah. It's a reference to a, an M and M song where a fan becomes so obsessed, uh, with music, artists that he's not getting responsive, uh, feedback from that, uh, he kills his girlfriend and blame his blames it and himself and blame. The, uh, the music artists for, for not engaging.

Calathea 21:46

Thank you so much, Matt, for explaining the true meaning that I was attending, not the internet meaning, but the

Melanie 21:52

um,

Eric 21:53

not the reclamation.

Melanie 21:55

well, I mean, John and I have both been single, um, for years at this point.

Calathea 22:03

if, anything, the F Melanie recruiting him to sign intelligence might seem like a more innocent, uh, intention than the vibe I'm getting off here.

Melanie 22:12

listen, I am, I am sorry. Coming off. So like, yeah, I'm kind of saving a step back and it is a little bit creepy, but it's not intention. I'm not going to murder anyone. I just want to know

Kate 22:27

oh, you

Melanie 22:27

you.

Kate 22:28

marry him and take all his money and put it into a fake chart. Yeah.

Melanie 22:34

That is so many steps further than I was thinking. if

Eric 22:39

That's not a no.

Melanie 22:41

Kate, then do whatever you say. Let seems amazing.

Calathea 22:47

Um, Matt, this is your personnel. So I wouldn't want to, um, mean, I believe we came here for a status update about the, we watch system, not for grilling of your personnel. You know, I, obviously have people in my department that have been questioned before. Um, you know, I, one of my best designers is a, you know, arsonist and that's. Doesn't affect his design work.

Matt 23:16

Yeah.

Calathea 23:17

far as we know, he's never set fire to anything on these premises. So who am I to judge is what I'm saying?

Matt 23:22

Um, yeah, I would like to like, let's see if we can find a little bit of closure on this part of the meeting. Uh, so, uh, devices are almost done. There'll be done in a couple of days, uh, for sure. And I just want to thank you, Melanie, for your help on that. Um, given that the paperwork has been rejected multiple times, uh, you're actually not my employee, so.

Eric 23:47

Well, that's true.

Matt 23:48

guess, you've just kind of been volunteering your time. I would like at least see that, that you get that pay. Um, before we talk about your continued employment here or your actual employment here, um, I feel like there's some stuff that you need to get out of your system with respect to John and, you know, I'm, I'm happy to just like set up a lunch for the two of you or a coffee. Uh, I mean, John and I used to have sushi dinners, uh, once a month on the last Sunday. Um, like I,

Kate 24:24

But

Matt 24:25

I could, you could take, take, yeah, he, we don't do that anymore. Um, but there are other restaurant possibilities.

Eric 24:33

Yeah.

Matt 24:33

You know, I just don't want you to be distracted by this, uh, because if you, if you want to work here and be a part of the team, you've got to realize, like talking to John, seeing John, uh, even getting emails from John is like not really a part of it.

Melanie 24:47

No. I mean, of course, listen, my after work activities are our after work, you know, and I, since, I guess I'm not actually, but you know, Having an intern that's unpaid as illegal.

Kate 25:03

you're

Melanie 25:03

anyway,

Kate 25:04

on our books.

Calathea 25:05

we, we brought this up. We're happy to pay you for the

Melanie 25:08

right.

Calathea 25:09

in. And second, like if your goal is to get closer to John, I mean, I can put you in touch with who's personal chef or trainer or, know, something that will actually get you into his house. This company is a barren wasteland. As far as John sightings are concerned.

Melanie 25:26

Right. Right. And I mean, yes, that was sort of a goal, but I'm not kidding you guys, like I have, I have absorbed this. I know much about this company and about its employees and, and just trying to carry through vision. You know, like initially what I wanted to be was was Kate's junior associate I applied for it like five times, you know, she's just such an inspiration.

Kate 26:01

I don't even want a junior associate anymore. Okay.

Melanie 26:03

know.

Kate 26:06

I just.

Melanie 26:07

When you

Matt 26:08

well,

Melanie 26:08

like me, and now you just think I'm a creepy stalker, and,

Kate 26:23

Yeah,

Calathea 26:23

that's it. That's the answer. Usually you want like a definite no

Matt 26:27

Yeah. Something to like, clearly take it off.

Calathea 26:30

you are a young professional woman and you're growing in your career and I want to really help you. But if somebody asks, if you are about to become a murder, even if you are about to become a murderer, the answer should always be no

Melanie 26:41

I'm sorry, are we comparing someone who's not committed a crime with like an actual arsonists who happens to be

Calathea 26:49

saying they look the same in a job center.

Melanie 26:51

right? I thought I was. I thought I was hyped it's this isn't about me. It's not about

Eric 26:58

It is.

Matt 26:59

It's definitely become about.

Melanie 27:02

Yeah, this

Calathea 27:04

because I hear from Matt, your, your work is stunning.

Eric 27:07

Yes.

Calathea 27:08

you know, I think that in terms of trying to figure out whether or not we keep you on, it's certainly not the work it's possible concerns that we might have behind your

Matt 27:18

Yeah, well, you know,

Melanie 27:19

14 days, six hours and four minutes. I feel like that's just really a lot. Do I not get like a 90 day plan for

Matt 27:28

I mean, you've, you know, this was meant to be a contract based opportunity and you kind of tore through all of the work we had. So I don't really know much about your skills beyond. You know, working with surveillance equipment and replacing parts of phones. I think if you wanted to stay on, we would have to talk more about what that role would look like.

Kate 27:51

I also want to point out again that you've applied for every position we've had. None of which you have been qualified for, except for the one relating to surveillance equipment.

Matt 28:03

Say we want to be clear. You're very good at. Beyond. Yeah. Well, above par, uh, haven't seen anybody.

Melanie 28:12

I mean, I was told that if I just got my MBA, that I. Get a job, you know, I said like, oh, I'll be whatever you want. And then we, you know, got the undergrad and that was horrific. And then now, you know, entry-level jobs are like, you need an MBA. So I got it. And, um, I've, I've just been taking all these, skill stack courses. Uh, so I am a successful graduate of, um, Ruby on rails. Uh, I

Matt 28:41

Oh, okay. Yeah. Nice.

Melanie 28:43

a one-on-one and I'm working on 1 0 2 and, uh, I can answer the phones.

Matt 28:50

I mean, Eric, I know you're always complaining about having to do the data analysis on, on some of our consumer testing and how none of your team. Feels like it's their job because it's work. That's beneath them.

Melanie 29:05

I'll do anything

Eric 29:07

No, no, I'll do it.

Melanie 29:10

you can listen. You've

Eric 29:13

can, I can keep doing it.

Melanie 29:15

and I'll just stay there.

Eric 29:17

There was a lot of training required for the screening room and.

Calathea 29:21

it's a very technical situation.

Melanie 29:24

yeah. Yeah. I heard about, um, was great.

Eric 29:31

can't believe I'm saying this, but I do know some people in Scientology and I think I can get you a job there. I lost my parents to them. I don't have a good relationship with the church, but it feels like a good fit.

Melanie 29:47

Well, keep telling me that. And

Eric 29:51

I be trying to listen

Melanie 29:52

I guess just,

Kate 29:55

name is Hubbard. So are you not really the, to Ron Hubbard?

Melanie 30:00

name is Kate Blanchett. Are you not a movie star?

Matt 30:03

What's

Kate 30:03

been

Eric 30:04

the band chat.

Matt 30:05

K banshee.

Calathea 30:06

Yeah, sorry, Kate. I feel like you're getting really upset about this. Um, do you want me to call me you're down love of my someday. You will five and how be right. Be all. Dang. You landed that dark.

Kate 30:26

Thank you.

Calathea 30:27

well.

Eric 30:30

Um,

Calathea 30:30

just.

Matt 30:31

This death cab songs are haunted.

Calathea 30:33

Yeah.

Kate 30:35

okay. I'm having a brief moment of clarity. I think I'll just share the background, check results with the rest of the team. We'll do a vote on whether or not you should stay and continue working on, um, surveillance equipment for our company not.

Melanie 30:51

anything.

Kate 30:54

right. Or anything. Um, and maybe as a backup plan, uh, if that doesn't work out, Matt can schedule you some type of. Brief meeting with John as a way of us showing our appreciation towards.

Melanie 31:14

Before we, we do that, Kate, can you just, can you just tell me why you don't like me? I've done everything. I brought you cupcakes outside your house, like every day and a half. I've I've learned from you so much. I just, I just want to be around you because you're, so you're also inspirational because you know, you've learned so much from John and I just don't get it

Kate 31:42

Listen. grew up with a twin.

Melanie 31:47

Lindsey.

Kate 31:47

when you're a twin Lindsey, yes. Now everyone knows her name.

Matt 31:52

Yeah, it didn't know her name.

Kate 31:54

when you're a twin, people don't think you're unique. And that's something I've struggled with my entire. Life. And once my twin decided that she was going to go to Southeast Asia and then happened to disappear for a few years, it was my chance finally, to be unique. And I just, what

Eric 32:19

Yeah.

Kate 32:22

sorry, my blood pressure's rising again.

Calathea 32:25

hello, my God someday, you will five hour. Be rare. Be hi. All I'm you enter the dark.

Kate 32:43

Melanie.

Calathea 32:46

Oh,

Melanie 32:46

I was harmonized and it was pretty, you liked it. Didn't you

Kate 32:55

About what I like or what I don't like.

Melanie 32:58

fine? Just tell them the results. Fine. meeting. Got so off track.

Kate 33:04

okay. I'm going to send them all to you. Um, and

Calathea 33:09

I don't wanna, I don't want to linger. I just Melanie, while we have you here. Cause this might be the last time, you're really into John and you've worked in, we worked. So I assume you saw the videos his porn habit and that did not deter. Did it encourage you or deter you?

Melanie 33:29

I try and keep a very open mind you know, I am not, uh,

Matt 33:34

you for that reminder.

Melanie 33:35

36, so I I've had to do a lot of unlearning around, uh, sexuality and, and, and gender and all of these stereotypes, um, and doing some exploring on my own. no, Califia, I, that was fine. And honestly, You're poor and habits are great too.

Matt 33:58

scent. Uh, okay. That gave me the perfect idea of a meet. Cute for you and John. So. This is under way,

Eric 34:07

Oh,

Melanie 34:08

Oh my God.

Calathea 34:09

mean, as I was just thinking about this, I mean, obviously John is very into knowing personal details about everybody he watches and an intimate interaction. This

Melanie 34:19

Right.

Calathea 34:20

be a good, good, uh, you might pair on that way.

Melanie 34:25

I could just be his like personal, I just find out everything about everyone for him, Um, Chan speech said that you don't, you don't shoot for the stars, then probably you'll build a rocket ship and you'll go even farther. So that's.

Kate 34:47

It doesn't even make sense. It doesn't even make sense

Matt 34:50

no it's he was hanging out with Ilan and Bezos when they were starting their rocket company. And he, you know, he was talking to. And he was bitter about it.

Kate 35:03

gosh. Okay. Well, listen, have our action items. We have to wrap this up before any more information about anyone becomes leaked to the other folks in this room. Um, I guess for now you can continue volunteering as long as Matt would like.

Matt 35:22

I feel like we'll probably be done today or tomorrow on the devices, and then we can figure out next steps. Okay. Ben and Kate, we, we have to pay Melanie

Eric 35:32

Yeah.

Matt 35:32

for her time. That's

Calathea 35:34

were agreed about that.

Eric 35:35

yeah,

Kate 35:35

Fine. Fine. But let's do some off-book way. So it doesn't look like she ever worked.

Matt 35:41

I don't see why that's necessary, but.

Kate 35:44

I'll explain later.

Melanie 35:46

Thank you.

Kate 35:47

Okay. Well, Melanie, it's been, uh, it's been a meeting.

Melanie 35:53

Yeah. Thanks so much for the time you guys. Oh, great. I'm gonna, I'm going to journal about this and put it my scrapbook. So I've already taken

Kate 36:04

You're going to journal and then put a journal in your scrapbook

Melanie 36:09

yeah. With the screenshots

Kate 36:10

digital scratch. Okay. Okay.

Melanie 36:15

and I'll pause for a while. And then on my last day we can all sign it and it'll be, it'll just be.

Matt 36:20

it's probably tomorrow. So I guess I would get that done tonight.

Melanie 36:24

I'm only sleeping like 30 more.

Kate 36:27

that makes sense. All right, I'm gonna stop there.

Ben 36:31

This meeting has ended. To subscribe to this startup is being recorded. Go to the podcast player of your choice and tap a button that likely says subscribe. More content is on Twitter at startup recorded, or shoot us an email with ideas, feedback, or your personal startup horror story. At hello@startuprecorded.com.

36:50

Melanie Hubbard was played by Jenny Kessler, who can be found online and in person doing improv with letters to chicken. Brad's dad and babe prov you can request a follow at @JennyKessKlump on both instagram and twitter

Ben 37:05

Kate is played by Valerie Garrison. Valerie is a product manager and regularly plays with the improv troupe letters to chicken online. You can find her on Twitter at the vulgaris Eric has played by Barry. Right Barry is a product manager at Spotify and a co-founder of high-wire improv. Find him by his name on LinkedIn, where he holds regular office hours or@highwireimprov.com Matt is played by Martin Maguire Marty is a senior web engineer and improviser in New York city. You can find Marty's comedy code and cats on his website at M M G dot R E. Califia is played by Robin Stegman Robin is a digital campaign manager for ocean Conservancy and is a comedian mostly found at Highwire improv You can find her on all the social medias And she does mean all at our steaky Thank you for listening.