The Pursuit of Evolution

13. Life of a Sober Sex & Love Addict w/ Brianne Davis

May 18, 2022 Casey Jourdan Episode 13
The Pursuit of Evolution
13. Life of a Sober Sex & Love Addict w/ Brianne Davis
Show Notes Transcript

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Connect with Casey at www.caseyjourdan.com

All right. So first thing, every episode, will you pronounce your first and last name and your pronouns for me? 

Brianne Davis, she and her 

awesome. Brianne, I'm excited to talk to you today. This is a subject I know nothing about, and I don't think I have any personal experience with, so tell us a little bit about yourself and why you're here.

Yeah. So I am a working actor. They've been working the last 25 years in Hollywood. I've been on shows like Lucifer, casual, six on history. Jarhead prom night and a number number. I'm one of those people that you're like, I know you, but I don't know where I know you from. And I'm like, yeah, you probably don't know me, but hi, nice to meet you.

So I've been in the public eye. I'm definitely not an alias celebrity, but recently I wrote a book about being a sex and love addict and recovery. And it's called secret life of a Hollywood sex and love addict. And I wrote it as a fiction novel based on my life in Hollywood, based on my recovery and sex and love addiction.

I'm 12 and a half years in recovery in that program because I just really wanted to give a different face to sex addiction because everything that was said about sex and love addiction, sex addiction is like tiger was getting caught, cheating on his wife, going to rehab and he's healed. And it's not like that.

It is a very. Very deadly disease. I've had people die from this addiction, suicide, you know, watch a Dateline. Everyone's about some love triangle happening and you know, it's sex and money, right. Are the number one things that cause people the most heart. So I really wanted to give a voice of a woman in recovery.

Talking about sex and love addiction and educating people. And the book I wrote is going to entertain, but it educates people in a way where they don't get depressed and want to throw the book against the wall. So I just wanted to write something that was a really fun ride and anybody can read it and go, oh my God, I've done that.

Or so-and-so does that here? Read this book. It might help you. So I'm really doing it to be of service bigger than myself and. Yeah. And I started a podcast called secret life podcast where I give other people a chance to get rid of their shame and their secrets. Cause I gotta tell you when I came out and wrote the article for HuffPost first about being a woman in recovery and sex and love addiction, that last bit of shame and stigma that I didn't realize after a decade of recovery was still weighing me down.

It was like this freedom moment where I was like, oh my God. I'm like fully me, even though people in my life, no route about it, but I didn't go on set and say, Hey guys, I'm a sex and love addict. Do you have a problem? You have a problem. You know? So that's why I'm here to educate about sex and love addiction and our size society is killing themselves over it.

So thank you for having 

me. 

I am so, so glad we connected because like I said, this is one of those addictions where. I feel like it's such a complex first, there's the taboo of sex as a whole in our society completely. And then we add these layers of complexity, of sexist, normal, and fun, and a thing that we shouldn't be putting shame on to begin with.

But there is that tipping point of addiction and addiction has its own Chaim and love and fulfilling relationships. And so this complexity of like, It kind of makes me think of eating disorders in a way of like, you have to have food to live. We are human. We're driven to connection. We're hardwired for connection and relationships.

You have to have. 

Yeah. Connection is the number one thing that humans need. And especially as an addict, connection is the opposite of addiction is connection. It's not sobriety it's connection. 

Okay. So I was going to say, tell me more about what. Sex and love addiction can look like. Cause I think also there is that, like you said, that heavy misconception that this is cheating on your spouse and that I know it's so much more than that.

So talk us through what it can look like. 

Yeah. First of all, I just want to say it's a progressive brain disease, so it's not like a chemical addiction. So a chemical addiction is black and white. You just stopped drinking alcohol. You stopped snorting, whatever you're snorting, but a progressive brain diseases is it gets worse and worse over time.

And this usually happens with money and food and sex and love, but sex and love is like underneath every other addiction is usually related. Relationships. So sex and love addiction encompasses family, friends, and sexual love partners. It's not just about the person you're sleeping with. So this really affects every relationship and how I explain it.

Sex and love addicts are addicted to a tension validation, intriguing, flirty. This could look like getting on Instagram in the middle of the night because you're bored or lonely. And D I mean, some stranger, like this is how it looks in this society. So it's not just having one night stands. You know, it can be compulsive masturbation.

If you're having a feeling, you go and get rid of that feeling. Porn addiction is a huge part of sex and love addiction because it's in fantasy. Right? So it's all about being in fantasy, a sex and love addict. I will assign magical qualities to someone. I'll pursue them and then I'll blame them for not fulfilling my fantasies and expectations.

So it has nothing to do with the other person. We want the other person to mirror for us what we're lacking. So how does this look? Let me break it down in this simple terms so anybody can understand. So let's look at the sex addiction side of it. It's you know, it is. Dan's cheating on partners going from relationship to relationship, overlapping them, you know, like, oh, he's not my soulmate, she's not my soulmate.

So I'm going to go find someone else. That is it is the masturbation, the porn swiping left and right. Constantly. Right. And then using your sexuality as a currency. So it's not even about the high of the sexual act, it's using it to manipulate and control the other person because internally you feel so powerless.

So that's the only way I felt power. If I could manipulate and control other people for most sex and love addicts, it's not about the sexual. It's that chase. It's that getting, getting the prey, getting them in, in, in web. Didn't you getting what you need from them. And then when it becomes too intimate or your mask is falling out, you usually then are looking somewhere else.

So then love addiction side, which both swing the love addiction side. Like I said, it's about fantasy. It's about looking for that person to complete you, you know, also going on the dating apps constantly as a huge one, flirting intriguing, and what intriguing means that it's like a bump up from flirting.

So it's acting available. It's giving out your number when you're actually not available, you know, those things and they all kind of. Intertwined. And then on the other side of this addiction is love avoidant, a love anorexic, a sex anorexic. So that is when you literally get your heartbroken are going through trauma and you shut down completely and you don't know how to connect to another person that could be friendships or lovers or whatever.

So it's very complex and usually a sex and love addict swings. From both sides, like they're over-sexualized and they shut down. Then they like obsessed with getting a partner. Then that partner doesn't fulfill their fantasy. So they're going, they shut down again. And the whole thing is, and I know this is the longest explanation, but it's so complicated.

The whole thing is like, We go after unavailable people are people we think we need, but really we're unavailable. So I always say, if you have drama in your relationships, if you have friends that goes to our don't show up for you, why are you picking people that are unavailable? Because something in you is unavailable because underneath all of this with family, friends, partner, Fear of intimacy, fear of being abandonment, fear of not being loved low self-esteem sits underneath this addiction, long story short.

But I appreciate that so much. Cause like you said, it's so complex and nuance. It's not a, I drink alcohol, I get this response in my brain. It's not a chemical. I hadn't thought about that. You know, that just straight up, like you're responding to a chemical, this is so much deeper than this, which makes me wonder.

Is this way more common that's okay. Cause like, in my brain I'm thinking of like, I spend too much time on Tik TOK and like people that I frowned. Yes. And so I'm like, I think a lot of these people I follow and I'm like the stories and the trends that are telling them, like they fit right in this thing you're describing.

Is this a thing that in to. Is the current age of our society that is so online and dating apps. Is that feeding this addiction? Like what is all that dynamic? I 

mean, I have to tell you, that's the number one reason I spoke out because the society we're in right now is festering this addiction. This was already addiction.

That's been plaguing our society. If you look back at Elizabeth Taylor, somebody said she wasn't. Six times or seven times, right? There's something going on if you're married that many times. So this has been glamorized listen to any song. It's like, I love him pine for love. I drink their blood. It's like, no, no, no, no.

That's called in meshing. That's called love, bombing, like all that stuff. And this society is so plagued with swipe left swipe. Right? Next best thing, the perfect filtered, all of that. Amplifying it. So what happened on my 10 years when I got my 10 years chip in this recovery, I looked around and it was a bunch of 19 year olds, 20 year olds, 21 year old suffering.

They can't find connection. They're all depressed. They're so depleted, they're addicted to porn. They're addicted to oversexualizing themselves because they think that's how they get love. And it's. Lacking. Self-worth looking for outside validation constantly. So yeah, it's getting worse and worse. When I started in my recovery 13 years ago, the rooms were like 30 people, 40 people.

This program hasn't been around that long. It's been around since 1978. So it's a, it's like the late the program, like a has been around forever. So this one is the newer one, but this society just, you know, In 2017, the statistic was, there's like 30 million Americans that are sex and love addicts. And 38% of them are women.

And I'm telling you, the rooms have blown up. There's like hundreds of people in a meetings now suffering from this addiction. And I think our society is really amplifying it. And they're saying that the lack of connection, the texting, you thinking that's being intimate, you thinking that's a connection.

It's actually not, I help. You know, a lot of ALA's clients. I have. That can't go to the meetings that are scared about being found out. So I helped them and I helped them to date soberly is how we call it. So I walked them through like no texting. You're not a lot of texts. That's false intimacy. You cannot DM this person.

So I teach them how to be intimate in a real and reality because when you're texting someone, you're actually in a fantasy you're making. In your mind, what they're thinking, how they're saying it. So when you see that person and you know, whether it be on a dating app or just texting, when you see them in person, It's never, it doesn't ever amount up to what your fantasy, you know, right now.

Interesting. When did you realize you had a problem? When did it feel like how did that come about for you. 

Well, there was all these moments where I was like, wow, something is wrong with his picture, but there was a moment. And I taught it's like the dark night of the soul and it's definitely in book two.

I'm I'm doing the followup to secret life of a Hollywood sex and love addict. And there's this moment where I was living with my boyfriend, who I loved as much as I could love anybody. Right. Let's let's I didn't know how to love someone. And I remember I went on location and yeah. A mentor of mine passed away suddenly.

And I kid you not two days later on vacation, I started flirting and intriguing with all these people on onset, and you'll never know who I'm talking about. And I remember. I was like intriguing with a CoStar. And I was like, I don't even like you, like, you're not even a good person. You're not nice to wait or what am I doing?

And I remember looking in the mirror going, oh my God, am I going to do it again? Am I going to cheat on a partner? Am I going to have one foot in the door and one foot out and going from relationship to relationship again? Like I've been doing this my entire life. I can't. I can't do this anymore. Am I going to be 80 years old on my death bed?

Never fully connected to another soul. What's the common denominator me. So that was that moment where I had that, like, something is wrong. Like why do I keep going from relationship long-term relations. Over and over and over again, never been single. And I just reached out to a friend and she sent me to her therapist and she said two things to me.

And I say this, and I wrote about it in the book that first moment with a therapist. So you can read the whole thing, but. You wear the mask of a high-class prostitute, one of my other clients. And I was so taken aback, I just met this woman and she said that to me. And I'm like, I've never sold myself for sex.

Not that there's anything wrong with it, but I I've never had a one night stand. I haven't had many sexual partners. You can be a suspect's and love addict and not have a lot of sexual partners. So I, but I use my sexuality as a currency. I use it to manipulate and control and get what I want. So she really walked me through this.

And then she goes, oh, I know what your secret is. You're a sex and love addict. And I was like, what is that? And I did the 40 questions. You can go online right now and look them up 40 self-diagnosed S L a questionnaire will pop right up. And they say, if you get more than five yeses, you might have this problem.

And you can read my number. You have to read chapter three to get my number, but it was pretty, it was pretty high. I would say it was pretty, pretty high. So that was it. That was the moment I called my boyfriend and I said, driving down the 1 0 1 cried hysterically, Jesus, I love and I get home because we live together and he highlighted every meeting I could go to in Los Angeles.

And I found myself at a meeting, a newcomers meeting that. Crying hysterically under the clock going, like, when can I get out of here? And every single 30 people, completely, every sexuality, every race, every economic background, all completely different. And I heard this guy and I, his name is rocker in the book and I heard him and he said, everything I've ever thought are done.

And I was like, oh my God, I'm not alone. And I just started crying. I'm not broken. I'm not, there's nothing wrong with me. I just didn't get the tools, how to have healthy relationships. It wasn't mirror to me by my family and my generational trauma that I've been, you know, holding onto. So it was really an eye-opening amazing moment.

And I'm such a grateful sex and love addict. And I never thought I would ever say that, but I am. I'm really grateful. Yeah. 

Wow. What does sobriety look like then? Both. And I know, like I I'm the child of an alcoholic, like sobriety. Right. Beginning of recovery and sobriety, 30 years later, both have to happen are both very active things and look different.

What are some of the early sobriety versus the ongoing spread? Cause you're also married now married 12 

years, 17, 17, geez. Yeah. To the man that highlight. Yeah. So here's the thing. It's not like I went through this program and found the perfect partner. I went through this program and found myself, right.

So I was available for somebody else to be with sobriety at the beginning. Brutal. This is like the PhD of all the other addictions. I mean, we have people coming in that said I can quit heroin, but I can't quit her. We have someone come in with 30 years the other day saying I've been dodging this room.

For like decades because underneath a chemical addiction, like I said, is relationships it's we don't know how to connect to other flawed human beings because we're flawed and we want them to fix us, but they can't fix us because flawed human beings fuck you up. Sometimes they don't, they don't show up for you parents that don't show up for you.

Don't mere ha happy marriages. Like I went through so early sobriety was it's like, You want to unzip your skin and crawl out. It's like, you want to die, but you don't want to kill yourself. It is the most. And I describe it in the book as like that caterpillar and butterfly that I cried the first nine months of my sobriety.

I didn't have. The first year of my sobriety. So it was very, you do it alone. No one can do it with you. Yes. You go to meetings. I went to meetings all the time. I had a sponsor, I worked the 12 steps. I did therapy twice a week. It was intense. And I crawled at the carpet crying, just. Did body work? I did a lot of Reiki, a lot of like trauma work on my body and it was just the most brutal experience, but here's the thing.

I never have to go through it again. Like I had to dig through all the shit. I've been stuffing down the disappointment, the heartache, the parents that didn't show up, you know, Unstability sexual trauma. And it literally, I had to dig through all that shit. That's been in my body and find my gold. And that's what I did.

So like to, to define my sobriety. When I started it would look like. I couldn't text, email talk to any men whatsoever. I had no guy friends whatsoever had to get rid of all my girlfriends that didn't show up for me, or I didn't show up for them that were not equal. I took a year and a half off my father because there, our relationship was too.

And mashing is too emotionally incestuous, where I was always like flowing energy to him. And there needed to be a break in that. And biblical horde, you know, you talk about the parents it looked like. You know, no outside of my committed relationship, no talking to axes at all, getting off social media.

I mean, it was brutal. I literally just went into a hole. I didn't even work the first year as an actress the first two years, I think I didn't work. So I pray like if this is not the career, because my therapist was like, you pick the worst career for your addiction, like tension validation, outside, everything.

But now I say after 12 and a half years, you know, my recovery is really based on being of service. I go to more meetings today than I did. When I started, I go to like 12 meetings a week. I speak at every meeting I'm asked to, I speak all over the world. I have sponsees all over the world. I work with my clients.

I pray meditate every morning. I do a gratitude list every night I say this or any prayer, I'm up front of my son. I have a kid that's four years old. He knows it. We say it together. You know, my husband and I, we over-communicate. And I talk about that a lot to have healthy relationships. And my bottom lines, which is my sobriety, is I don't go outside of a committed my committed relationship.

I, you know, if I'm having a feeling, we sexualize, it says we sexualized stress, guilt, loneliness, anger, shame, fear, and envy. So if I'm feeling those and I want to like masturbate or, you know, have sex with my husband. Am I doing it to get out of a feeling, am I doing it for connection with myself or another person?

So it's those kinds of things. And I don't flirt, honestly, no one flirts with me, which is amazing as a woman. Like no one bothers me. I walked down the street and nobody bothers me and it's the best feeling in the world. So yeah, it's really that. And I don't have a lot of guy friends because I choose not to, it's not healthy for me.

I have a lot of feelings. In the program, male fellows that have a lot of sobriety that I lean on, but I don't go to coffees with guy friends. I don't go to a movie with a guy friend that's not appropriate for me. Right. So yeah, that's what my sobriety looks like today. That's amazing. 

Thanks. 

Sounds like a lot of work.

It does sound like, but it really isn't like it becomes a part of you. It's not a lot of work. It takes time to get there. Where if I don't get on a meeting in the morning or listened to a speaker, I don't feel right size. Like I want to like have my feet in the sand. I want to hit my knees and pray to something I don't understand to take over my day to get out of ego, to, to humble myself.

I, so it sounds like a lot of work, but it's actually amazing. 

Well, and I think too, that work becomes so ingrained. So I have, I have post-traumatic stress. I'm a combat veteran and similar progression of early on. It was very intentional therapy twice a week. And. All of this, like just gut wrenching work.

And now people are like, oh, so you're healed. And I'm like, no, I still very much have PTSD tools are built into my systems. They're built into my life. They are, they feed me at this point. It's giving back to others who are now in those early days and showing them that there is a positive outcome to doing that sometimes just like.

Seemingly endless bottomless work. Like, no, like I promise there's a light at the end of the tunnel. Even if you can't see it, keep moving forward, it will show up. And I feel like there's that very similar and I love I was actually scrolling through your tech talk this morning and which, by the way, a lot of great stuff there and excerpts from the book.

So like go check out her to tick tock to get a sneak peek on everything. But somebody asked you the question of. What is your destiny? And I loved that it has become this transition into owning this story in such a big and public way. 

Thank you. Yeah, it really like when I tell you I didn't do the podcast, I didn't do write the book.

It was something bigger than me that had to happen. It wasn't about me. So if one of the stories on secret life podcast, or one of the examples of acting out and the book helps somebody stop hurting other people, right. Stop carrying around their trauma and their pain. Because for so long, I was so selfish and self seeking that my ripple effect in this world.

Right. I'm hurt, all hurt somebody else or I'm depleted. So I'll rape someone of their energy is what I call it. And it's like, then they go to somebody else and do the same thing. And now my ripple effect, hopefully. I've been broken. I'm not actually broken. I just needed to do this healing and you can do it too.

If I can get help, then you can get help. And this is what it looks like. This is what it looked like for me. Here are the tools I use. Here's the 10 rules I live by in the book, you know, it's that very, self-help kind of feel, but it's like, here are the exercises I have done, and I hope that it helps you as well, and you are not alone.

So now I'm hoping my rebel effect is like helping one person then going out in the world and no. Hurting another person like helping them and that ripple effect. So thank you for saying that. That means a lot. Yeah. 

Yeah. I love that so much. And, and I think it's, so I talk a lot about owning our story and I think this is that power.

And sometimes it's just being able to say the words to a therapist for the first time that brings us that little bit of healing. And when we go home from that session, we don't latch out at lash out at that person. And there's that first little. Shimmer, and then it can build and build and build. And not that everybody has to write the books or be on the podcasts.

No, if somebody isn't talking about it and like I have. A lot of time of the health self-help space. Like I consider myself a bit of a junkie. Yeah. And I think that yours is maybe in the last 10 years, the second time I've seen somebody mentioned sex or love addiction. 

Yeah. Yeah. Because there's so much, and here's why I love.

Sex and love addicts anonymous, the 12th, the program, like it saved my life. Like I will forever be in this program. Like I'm going to live and die in this program. Like, and a lot of people don't have sobriety. I'm an old timer with 12 and a half years, which in a that's like nothing. Right. My husband has 33 years in AA.

Like nobody in my program has 33 years and it's. I'm a die hard SLA or like I have no problem saying it, but one of the main things with our program, which I think sucks, and I've said it in the, in the inner group is like, We're not allowed to talk about it. And I'm like, what do you mean? That's not what Bob, in AA.

He went to Congress and talked about it. Like it's like to a person to help another person. It's like slide. There's so much shame. There's so much stigma, especially as women that people aren't talking about it. And just to have people come on my podcast that I know, talk about it and I have to change their names.

And it's like, this is why nobody knows about it because we don't open our mouth and like, If you're struggling out there and you're doing this work that I'm talking about, don't go and talk about it until you've healed. Like it took me 10 years. I am like, I'm good. So anybody can say anything to me, or like you're a whore.

You just used your looks like whatever they say. And I'm like, you can say what you want. I'm okay. I'm okay. I'm here to help somebody. It's not about me. It's to help somebody. So I definitely think you've got to heal first to then help somebody. I wouldn't say, go out, go to a meeting and then go scream to the rooftops.

You have this problem, but it's like, yeah. Let's stop with the shame and stigma. Like, let's just talk about it. So other people can heal. I love that. 

So if somebody's trying to think of the best words for this question, if somebody came to me and told me that they think they are a sex and love addict, what are some things I can do early on to best support them?

How can we. As you were creating the conversation, helping people find the words for the story. How can I support these people as they start to own their store? Well, the 

first thing I would say is go do the 40 questions. Cause that's like mind blowing. If you get five yeses, it says you pretty much have this problem.

So that would be the first thing I would say. Then pick up the literature, even reading the first withdraw chapter in SLA, the big book that has the little lifesaver on it. It's like, purple. You'll see it. It has no name on it because you don't want to know what it is, right? Yeah. Like pick up that, that pick up my book.

If you want to fund read, not. Buy my book, but I wrote it to help someone not get bogged down with the addiction term. I wrote it like a movie or a television show. I would do those things first and I would jump on a zoom meeting. There's so many all over the world. Now you can change your name. You don't have to put on your picture or have your camera on and just listen and see you're not alone, but the.

Other thing is go to a therapist that specializes in this. Look it up there, there are therapists, a lot of therapists don't know about sex and love addiction. I'm actually educating a bunch of them. Yeah. I am. I'm like working with therapists to help them with this addiction and it's like, but there are some, and they really help you.

I mean, You have to do the therapy. You have to work the program. This is a progressive brain disease. It gets worse. The person you pick gets worse and worse over time. So if you're in a bad relationship, just imagine the next relationship. If you do not do this work is going to be worse. I promise you.

Right. That makes sense. And do you think it's important to find a therapist with experience because of. Especially, I think because of the cultural nuance and shame, like I could imagine a general therapist being too focused on the childhood trauma, which not discrediting. We need to deal with the childhood trauma as an example.

They're not also addressing how that's playing out today. Like making sure your therapist, if you understand that this is what the struggle is that you have the right therapist. 

Oh, a hundred percent. I would not have done the healing I needed to do. If my therapist didn't know about this addiction and work with others that specialize in addictive tendencies, you know, it, it doesn't even have to be full bled sex and love addiction.

But if they work with addicts and understand. That a therapist could literally hear your story and go, wait a minute. You keep going from relationship. You're constantly going on dates. Like one of my clients was like, why did my therapist of six years never tell me this? And I'm like, because he doesn't know.

And that's okay. But like, I'm telling you this, like, you are a love addict searching for someone to complete you and he's. And so it's like, you have to find someone and it takes time. It took me time, but. If not, if you can't get into therapy, jump on a meeting because there's so many people struggling the same as you, you are not alone because here's the thing, sex and love addicts.

They love to think they're special. Like I only have this problem. No, I'm not kidding. More than any other addiction. You're like, something is wrong with me. I just can't find the person. Or I'm like, I love so much. I have so much love to give. I just, I know I want to be one of those free people. Like, I, I just want to like relocate and give my like it's insanity and you look at somebody and you go, yeah, I've done that.

No big deal. Okay. You cheated big D like, we love to think we're special. And when you get on a meeting and you hear. 80 other people saying something similar to you or things they've done. They're not proud of bad things. Doesn't make me a bad person. It right as you to go, oh, I'm not special. I just didn't get the tools.

And now I have to take responsibility. It's my responsibility to unpack that baggage. I can keep going out in the world. Raping other people have their energy looking for someone to complete me. That is not fair, you know, using parents using friendships. And that was a big one for me that I used a lot of friendships.

I didn't know how to be a friend. I didn't know how to, how to have boundaries. I didn't know when to say no when I actually, you know, wanted to I'd say yes, and then I retraumatize myself and it's. These are not learned in school. They should teach a class in school, how to have healthy relationships. That would be 

yes.

Yes. That's what we need. Absolutely. How to 

manage your money, build credit and how to have healthy relationships. Is the tool like more than any other history science, like those are the things we need. 

Yeah. Yeah. 

Wow. I can talk forever or you have to keep you up to shut me up. 

No, I know this is great.

This is great. I'm just trying to make sure there's nothing else that I missed. They really want to hit it because there's so much information here. And I think this is a thing where we could continue to dissect it forever, which is fascinating. And like, my background is mental health. I used to be a therapist like let's talk about society's problems and how everyone needs a therapist.

Right. Exactly. But I want to keep it to the point. So we don't overwhelm people and because I think there's a lot of people who need to. Hit pause on this podcast and go do that question. That self-assessment additions, you mentioned SLA a couple of times, obviously your book. Is there any other top resources for somebody who wants to learn some more or knows that this is 

them?

Yeah. You can also look up the love addict book. That you can go on and just pipe love addiction, and it will come up. It's a great book. It really informs all obviously the SLA book, but here's the thing. There's not a lot of books written about it. That's what I wrote it. That's my will God wrote it for me.

I didn't write it, but yeah, it's really hard. To get the information you need. It's not like a ton of people are writing and talking about it. So those were the three books. I would really recommend that every sex and love addict reads that might help. 

Awesome. Tell us also where we can find juice. We can learn more about you and the book and things.

Yeah, you can follow me on Instagram at the Brianne Davis. I pretty much answer all my DMS. I try to give people information. So if anything I say resonates or you need zoom information, just reach out to me and I'll try to get it to you. You can follow me on Tik TOK, like you said, at the dot Brianne Davis, or you can look that secret life, novel.com.

I have all my articles I've written about this addiction, you know, and. Glamour and Cosmo and other places and daily blast and interviews on the doctors and stuff. If you need more information, my book is on there, or you can go on Amazon secret life of a Hollywood sex and love addict. Or you can listen to my podcast.

The first episode is me talking about the disease. Then I have a bunch of guys come on, transgender. You know, I have all walks of life, come on and talk about sex and love addiction, but I have other things, mental health and suicide attempts, every kind of secret you can imagine. So if you just need to not feel alone on cause it's we're about to hit our hundredth episode and we're really, really proud of it.

My husband and I are doing it together. We do it for service. We don't do it to make money or anything. It's just to be of service outside of ourselves. So that's called secret life podcast and you can. Find it anywhere you listen to podcasts. 

Awesome. And I will make sure all of that stuff. And these resources that we've talked about are all in the show notes.

So they're easy to find. Thank you so much. 

Thank you for having me and letting me educate and talk about it. I appreciate it.