Wake Up

Finding Your Path to Inner Peace

• Douglas James Cottrell PhD • Season 1 • Episode 69

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Finding peace might be our deepest human desire. We yearn for it in our hearts, minds, and spirits—but how do we actually achieve it? Dr. Douglas James Cottrell cuts through confusion and offers profound wisdom on finding genuine tranquility in a chaotic world.

The journey begins by understanding that peace requires action, often in directions we resist. "Whatever you've done has led you to this situation where you're not in peace," Dr. Cottrell explains. "So anything different will point you in a better direction." This might mean ending toxic relationships, leaving a well-paying but soul-crushing job, or releasing possessions that have become burdens rather than blessings.

What causes our lack of peace? Dr. Cottrell identifies worry as a major culprit—"a payment you make on a debt you never incurred"—where we mentally rehearse negative outcomes that typically never materialize. Our minds, unable to see the future yet conditioned by past disappointments, create layers of stress that crush our spirit and confidence. Some people become so accustomed to this pattern that even when good things happen, they feel anxious waiting for the inevitable crash.

The path forward requires both wisdom and courage. "Enthusiasm is the best compass needle," Dr. Cottrell advises. When you feel genuinely excited about something, trust that feeling as pointing toward where you need to be. Surround yourself with peaceful people whose energy you'll naturally absorb, take time for restoration in nature, and most importantly—take immediate action rather than postponing happiness.

As Dr. Cottrell powerfully reminds us, "God didn't put you in this world to be miserable. God put you in this world to develop, to be wise, and to wake up." You're a spiritual being with dominion over your choices—will you choose peace today?

Subscribe to hear more wisdom that will make your life better, and visit douglasjamescottrell.com to explore Dr. Douglas' self-development resources.

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Announcer:

Welcome to Wake Up with Dr Douglas James Cottrell, your source for helpful information, advice and tips to live your life in a mindful way in this increasingly chaotic world. For over four decades, dr Douglas has been teaching people how to develop their intuition and live their lives in a conscious way. His news and views of the world tomorrow, today, are always informative and revealing. To learn more about Dr Douglas, be sure to visit his website, douglasjamescottrellcom, where you can download self-help exercises you can do right in the comfort of your own home. And now here's your host, dr Douglas James Cottrell.

Douglas James Cottrell:

You're in the wake up. I'm your host, Douglas James Cottrell, and I'm joined here with my good friend, Les Hubert. What's on the menu tonight, Les?

Les Hubert:

Well, tonight, doug, we're going to talk about peace peace of mind, peace of spirit, peace of heart. When I speak with people, they seem to. When they get into their heart's deepest desires and I ask them you know what they really want? And they come back with I just want to be peaceful, I just want peace, peace of mind, peace of they're not really sure what type of peace, but they know they want peace. Is it possible to achieve it? What is it basically?

Douglas James Cottrell:

It is, of course. It's certainly achievable. It takes some effort or work, however, and there's one so wise men once said you know, if you put yourself in a closet, there in the closet you have your best friend and your worst enemy, and there's only you in the closet. And so to understand in your mind when people say I want peace, I just want peace, is it? Do they want peace at any cost? I don't think so. They want peace because they are overstressed. And in basic psychology of course I'm not a psychologist the understanding that when people become so under stress, they want to run away to a little cabin, maybe put up a pup tent, live exclusively on their own, away from people, because they are under intense stress. And to understand stress, it's a matter of something's pending. There is something coming at you, you're worried about something, you have to get something done by a certain time. People are bullying you, people are attempting to belittle you, you are feeling insulated, alone and there doesn't seem to be any help coming your way. You have to handle something enormous and you can't. You just feel that you know the world's dumping on you and and you can't get out from this situation. Well, the usual remedy for that last is people get sick. Oh, you get sick. And well, all bets are off, you know, can't go to court, can't go to work, can't go fight with somebody in a family, or can't go and get that loan, I can't get that mortgage renewed, and you know on and on and on all the things that were causing you to be stressful. As soon as you're sick, well, all bets are off. And every okay sick. Well, okay, you know she's not, she's not doing well, so we'll give her some time, you know, etc. Etc. So deadlines and obligations to get things done, or multiple things done, well, that produces stress, but all you have to do is get sick or have an operation, get an organ removed, have, go on medication, see the doctor and complain. They'll give you all kinds of things. I'm not going to say what they are, but they'll give you all kinds of things to make you feel artificially relaxed.

Douglas James Cottrell:

Don't get away from your mind, however, remember your mind is always there, so these things are all on your mind. However, remember, your mind is always there, so these things are all on your mind. And what these? What the sickness does? It gives you a reprieve, it gives you a recess, it gives you a reset, but it doesn't take the problem away.

Douglas James Cottrell:

So if you look at basic worry, worry is a payment you make on a debt you never incurred. Worry sometimes happens. The outcome is what you worried about, but more times than not it doesn't happen. But your mind unable to see the future, your mind having experiences where you have failed or been taken advantage of, or somebody stepped in and told you you couldn't do it, or somebody's thrown you a curve, or somebody's berated you, or somebody has con and told you you couldn't do it, or somebody's thrown you a curve, or somebody's beraved you, or somebody has conned you with some money or has put you in a situation where they made the decision but you're paying the consequence. All those things educate you and, layer by layer, build on you in a crushing way that you can't achieve anything.

Douglas James Cottrell:

As a matter of fact, when you start out, something and a whole bunch of good things happen to you, people who are under stress immediately are afraid because they know something bad's going to come. Have wonderful good things happening to them and they're terrified because they know something bad's going to come. Have wonderful good things happening to them and they're terrified because they know something bad's going to happen to them Somewhere in their childhood. That's what happened. Christmas came, all the presents were there oh my gosh, the best Christmas presents they ever had and then mommy left or daddy left and the family broke up. So that sticks with kids that when you get something really good the best you ever could achieve or believe that something bad is going to sneak up and bite you. It's coming. So the psychology can go back to the time of your childhood.

Douglas James Cottrell:

But let's just look normally and say a sort of normal life where you're under stress, you're under duress, you need to talk it out. You're under duress, you need to talk it out. That's what I do. I call out my friends and I cry on their shoulder and I feel better because I vented out all this worry or possibilities or the pain or the hurt. I'm in no-transcript. They want to believe that they're good people and they're trying to be their brother's keeper, they're trying to help and they keep coming up again and again and again with the con artists that people take advantage of them to the point that they say there's no justice. The way out of all ailments in the human psyche is justice. If you have justice, then you have a path to civilization. And if you have civilization, then you have people who are taking care of each other justly Not that they're providing for each other, but that they're at least living in peace and trying to get each other to live in peace with them.

Announcer:

In other words.

Douglas James Cottrell:

They don't take advantage. If you drop something or you lost something, somebody's going to return it to you or it's going to be right where you left it. Nobody's going to steal it or remove it. It's going to be right where you dropped it, because they know you're going to come walking along looking for your glove or your wallet and you're going to find it, provided nobody moves it, because if they do, they're not going to find it because it's not where you were. That's a that's a practice in norway and that's where I learned that lesson. So if you understand that if you're looking for peace, then you have to be willing to do something, and that something is anything that you haven't done yet, whatever you've done has led you to this situation where you're not in peace. So anything that's different will automatically point you in the right direction, or some direction that's going to lead you to ultimately to be in a state of peace. Enthusiasm is the best compass needle. If you're feeling enthusiastic about something, you can usually trust that to lead you to a place where you ought to be, in other words, a good space, because when you have enthusiasm, all your psychic, all your emotions, all your thoughts and all the indicators to you, intellectually, are pointing you in this direction. That is right, because you're enthusiastic, not that you're wanton enthusiastic. That you're pretending to be enthusiastic because you can't Enthusiasm is one of those genuine emotions that, when you're enthusiastic, you're enthusiastic, it can't be changed. You're enthused. This is going to happen. I'm anticipating it.

Douglas James Cottrell:

So when you want peace of mind and you want peace in your life and peace in your heart, then you have to be prepared to do some things that you might not want to do. Get away from those friends who are complaining and arguing and are, you know, always bitter. You know, there's a saying about I think it was Nero or one of the Roman empires said maybe it was Julius Caesar I want to be surrounded by fat men because fat people are jolly. Send them to me, you know. He was in a medieval battle or something and he wanted to be surrounded by jolly people. Well, that's not a bad idea. Hang out with people that are happy and you'll feel happy. Hang out with people that are peaceful and you will pick up, like a sponge, a little of their happiness, their little peace, their peacefulness and a little piece of what's going on with them. So, by putting yourself in an environment where people are at ease or happy or peaceful. You're going to pick up on it In circumstances where people are under stress.

Douglas James Cottrell:

Let's say they go to Las Vegas and they're gambling and they're losing money and they're really feeling bad, they're worried, they're stressful. What do they do? They go and they watch George Carlin or a comedian on stage and when they come out and all their worries are gone, they're feeling terrific and they go and they bet more money. That's a fact. And now the entertainers in Las Vegas get to stay in Las Vegas because the people that come on their shows bet more money and those guys in Las Vegas get a little too penny. How good an entertainer is to distract people from their woes.

Douglas James Cottrell:

Not that they're not their help on it, it's just that they. Their entertainment is so good that people get away from their worries and they get back into their balance and start all over again. It's a reset. So to answer the question, how to get peace in your life is to first of all say, okay, whatever I'm doing, I don't like my life. This is the bottom line. I've got to change my life. I've got to stop doing six things. I've got to get out of this toxic relationship. I have to leave this job. The money is so good I can't stand to leave it, but it's killing me. I hate this place. More exactly, you hate the people there, because it's a toxic environment. The money's good, but your life is being eroded.

Douglas James Cottrell:

So, again, as I started out in the conversation last, how do you get peace? Well, you're going to have to do things you might not want to do, but whatever you do, whatever way you go, has to be different and more than likely that one step will lead to other steps that will get you to where you want to go, which is to be at ease. You want to be in control. You want to get your power back at ease. You want to be in control. You want to get your power back. You don't want to be in a love affair where you're you're hanging off every word that the person is is talking that that you have to. You know, uh re, re-text, or re-read and edit your text 16 times in order to get the right words.

Douglas James Cottrell:

You don't want to end up people pleasing all the time doing things to please others at your great cost financially and physically and emotionally. So it's an easy thing to do Go on a vacation and then don't come back.

Les Hubert:

Is that possible, to just not come back from a vacation?

Douglas James Cottrell:

It's possible, because when you go on vacation, when you come back, just keep that same frame of mind.

Les Hubert:

Oh, okay, I get it. My next question is you know there's inner peace and outer peace, and have you said before many times you know, as your inner world, so will be your outer world. So do we go for inner peace first or do we change the outer world which will then change the inner? I mean, is there a sequence of events there?

Douglas James Cottrell:

Well, as somebody once said, life is all an illusion and it is. As you get older, you look back and you see the pictures when you were in your 20s, your 30s, your 40s. You see your family. You see your parental family, you see your family, you see your grandkids, you see your children growing up. And it's an illusion. All the things that you thought were important through all those years. Where are they now? They're not important at all.

Douglas James Cottrell:

And then you start to regret how you wasted your life fighting with a neighbor, how you could have done something a different career, a different life path but you were afraid because the money was too good at work. Or if you lost your job, you were going to lose your house, or this or that. I can draw a lot of scenarios, but the point is that life's an illusion from a certain point of view. But you have to live a long enough life to be able to look back and say darn, why didn't I? And that's why wise men who are older, wise men and women say to their children if you want to try something, do it now. Don't fall on your face when you're 25. You know lots of time to pick yourself up and carry on Right. As a matter of fact, the more times you make an effort and try things, the greater your experience, the greater wisdom comes to you and the more adept you are at taking on life. So when you get older, you say, yeah, I've been to Egypt, I was in the pyrenees. Yeah, and I've gone down to mitsubishi and I was to hawaii and I went to chicago and went to las vegas and I went to, you know, spain and I did this. I did that, and you're like, wow, I got a lot of miles behind me. But it snuck up on you because you just kept taking trips and it wasn't any big deal.

Douglas James Cottrell:

You, you went away for a few days, you went away for a month and all of a sudden, you know you've got all this travel behind you. Well, what's stopping you from that? Well, I can't go. I've got to take care of the kids. Well, I can't get the time off work. Well, I don't know, I haven't got enough money. When I get enough money, then we're going to take the kids to Disneyland. I can guarantee you that's never going to happen. When you want something to do, something else, it never happens. What you need to say is we're going to Disneyland right now. We're going to get the money somehow. We're going Okay, you're not getting something else and then going. You are going and the money will appear, it will arrive somehow.

Douglas James Cottrell:

I'm not talking about being foolish, I'm talking about when you want something, you have to be direct and focused almost laser focused on that thing, and the provisions, the material, the money, the circumstance will all fall in line so that when you're like 65 years old and looking back, you say I was always going to go to Disneyland, whatever happened. The kids all grew up, they moved out of the house, they got their own family. I was always going to go to Disneyland, whatever happened. The kids all grew up, they moved out of the house, they got their own family. So we never got to go to Disneyland. Well, because you didn't go period.

Douglas James Cottrell:

So if you are attempting to look at peace and you want to acquire it again, it's a matter of saying, okay, let's do something now. That makes me pleased. Once in every year, go someplace. That Once in a while, go for short vacations, get away from it all. Once in a while, go sit under a tree at the park and don't tell anybody, turn off your cell phone, sit there and look at the ducks on the river or look at the clouds. Refresh yourself, do something for yourself. You know, the old saying is that the biggest problem of going to the gym is going to the gym.

Les Hubert:

True.

Douglas James Cottrell:

You got to get there. So I met a clever lady once and this is how she did it she put on all her gym sweatsuit stuff at home, got in the car, went to the gym, took a couple of towels, did her workout, got back in the car, came home with maybe a towel around her neck and then she got into the shower. At home there was no going to the gym looking for a locker, wondering if people's peeking at you, if you're getting undressed or making sure your belongings aren't getting stolen, you know, and disease or whatever you know, and there was none of that. You don't have to worry about going in the shower or anything like that. Go home, get your own shower and but what it does is it gets you to the gym real fast because you put your stuff on. The only thing left is to turn the ignition and get the car there. Left is to turn the ignition and get the car there. So you have to be clever and you have to be foxy and you have to be a little mischievous at getting yourself to do stuff, and that is one way to to get things done and get that enthusiasm back and to keep your pace. But whatever you're doing. It's better to do something now.

Douglas James Cottrell:

If you're're in a toxic relationship, get out of it or get help or get out of it. And if you're in a situation at work where it's really toxic or you're not happy, get you gone. Go find a better job. I'm not talking about saying I hate you and I'm out of here. It's kind of thinking what is this place teaching me? I'm being taught here that I'm being underpaid. I'm able and capable of doing a lot more because I am, and I need to find a place that's going to appreciate me. So I'm going to look around, I'm going to leave. I don't owe this company anything because they don't owe me anything. Every Friday I get my paycheck and we're even. I provided effort and work and support and on Friday they paid me for it and we're even. And 40 years later, when you get that last paycheck, you're even.

Douglas James Cottrell:

How many times have you heard people say I gave the best years of my life to this company and all they gave me was a watch. Well, yeah, that was a bonus that they didn't have to give you. That was called your kiss-off present. But they paid you for 40 years and you got a house, you raised a family and your kids went to school. So bottom line on that is in order to get peace, the Bible says if your right hand offends you, cut it off, or something like that. Oh, that's pretty gross, isn't it? Oh my God, what does that mean? Self-mutation? Oh my God. No, symbolically, if you're in a situation, it is valuable to you but it offends you, cut it off. Job, relationships, situation, circumstance. You might have a really expensive car but you can't afford the payments and it's driving you crazy. Get rid of the car, go get a cheaper car, ride a bicycle and you'll be happier. So possessions sometimes are nice to have, but, god, they're an awful burden to have Up on you, like financially and whatnot. So, being wise and being as I started out in the conversation in the wake up, wake up If something is bothering you and stealing your peace, get rid of it. Ask yourself what's stopping me now. What's the problem? Identify the problem. That's 50% of solving the problem and then being willing to do something about it. That's the other 50%. And the real solution is that usually the solution to getting rid of the problem is something you don't want to do. You know exactly what it is, but you don't want to do. You don't like your apartment building. The people are noisy, they got dogs parking. The elevator is always smelling with with dogs, dog do or whatever. Get out of the apartment, go someplace else. Yeah, but where am I going to find another apartment at this great fee, at this great? It's really cheap to live here. Yeah, and that's what you're getting really a cheap apartment. You're expecting a penthouse and you're living in a basement. Come on, wake up. Anyway.

Douglas James Cottrell:

The lesson here is, as I started off if you want your peace, then whatever is preventing you from getting it is what you have to achieve. You have to do something to achieve it. Write it down. What is it that will make you happy? And I'm not talking about being happy, happy. What is it that's going to make you happy? You're going to play a record with George Carlin's jokes on it. That's going to make you happy. The record is what you need to get and you need to listen to it. Okay, so apply those steps in your life. But, like I said, you want to be happy.

Douglas James Cottrell:

Go on vacation, never come back. Well, some people could do that. How can you do that? Well, get on a cruise ship and get a job on the cruise ship. You're on vacation and it's permanent. So you know.

Douglas James Cottrell:

There are other people that say get a job that you play at and you'll never work another day in your life. Other people say find out what the community needs and then provide it and then learn to love it and you'll never work another day in your life. So there are lots of ways to get from here to there, but you need to be older. When you're younger, you need to be wiser and you need to say to yourself I don't like where I am. If you tell me that God put you in that situation, you're lying to yourself. God didn't put you in this world to be miserable. God put you in this world to develop, to be wise and to wake up. You're a spiritual being in a physical body. You have dominance over the world. Are you choosing to be better and happier and content, or are you not choosing to be better, happier and content. You're in the wake up. I'm Douglas Cottrell and this is my good friend Les Hubert, bringing you a little bit more wisdom that we hope will make your life a little better.

Announcer:

Thank you very much for listening to Wake Up. If you enjoyed this episode, be sure to subscribe so you'll be notified when a new episode is posted, and we'd greatly appreciate your review of our show on iTunes or wherever you get your podcasts to let others know about the great content we're producing. For more about Dr Douglas' self-development classes, books and other related products, please visit his website douglasjamescartrellcom. Until next time, we wish you all of God's blessings health, wealth and peace of mind.