Working out the Kinks with Tash the Doula
My name is Tash and I have many roles in life. I'm a doula. An herbalist. An advocate. I'm also a wife, sister, daughter, aunt, and friend. My goal is to have some real and honest conversations I just want people to know you're not alone. Personally, I went through different situations in life, feeling like I was the only one having bad thoughts, and when I finally started opening up, I realize I was one of many. Follow me on Instagram: @tashthedoula
Working out the Kinks with Tash the Doula
The Crossroads of Spirituality and Trauma in Religious Practice
Have you ever felt ensnared by the thorny questions surrounding spirituality and organized religion? Together with my insightful guest Iya Ola, we venture into these sensitive zones, stripping away the confusion and confronting the pain of religious trauma. Our candid dialogue traverses personal narratives of struggle against restrictive church doctrines and journeys us toward a more expansive understanding of spirituality. We dissect the ancestral echoes in our dreams and the subtle distinctions between hoodoo and voodoo, challenging the stereotypes and guiding listeners to their awakening.
Spirituality is no mere trend; it's a disciplined path that demands reverence and education. In our conversation, we address the recent upswing in spiritual practices and how they can be misused without proper understanding. From the potent energy of Moldavite crystals to the complex terrain of Voodoo and Hoodoo, Iya Ola and I traverse the importance of finding a trustworthy mentor and safeguarding your spiritual integrity. We share our transformative experiences and emphasize the need to approach these practices with the seriousness they deserve, protecting our spiritual well-being as fiercely as our physical safety.
Closing our soul-stirring session, we touch upon the controversy and openness needed to explore spirituality. As we celebrate Hulu Heritage Month and hint at future discussions on revolutions and resistance, I encourage you to follow those who continue to enlighten my spiritual journey. This exchange is more than just talk; it's an invitation to embrace growth, authenticity, and the disciplined pursuit of enlightenment. Join us on this profound exploration of belief, practice, and what it means to connect with the essence of who we truly are.
Hey guys, welcome to another episode of Working Out the Kings, the Podcast, with Tash D'Aula, and today I am with a special friend, miss Ayahola, and as we talk, we're just gonna have a real open conversation about spirituality and really what that means, and to me it just seems like there just seems to be a little bit of a discommunication or just like not real understanding of what that really means. It kind of it kind of comes off almost as a trigger these days. So I'm like I'm just gonna go to the source and we just gonna ask some questions.
Speaker 2:So, hi, Well, no, that's the thing. It is sort of a trigger, like you said, because a lot of people grow up in the church and we're taught anything witchcrafty or witchy is demonic, it's evil you're gonna go to hell.
Speaker 2:You're not supposed to do it. And now that spirituality has become a trend, yeah, everybody's doing it. Now the church is like hold up, wait, what is this, you know? So I think there's a lot of people who have turned to spirituality because of religious trauma. And they can I, they can identify and say I have religious trauma, but they don't always know how to heal correctly or what to do about it. They just know I'm church hurt, I'm sick of church people, so I'm going over here. And then they get over here and the behaviors don't change, just the quote unquote set of beliefs change. So I think that's where the trigger part comes in, especially if you have not healed correctly and you definitely have to heal.
Speaker 1:I could say when I started my journey, which I didn't even realize I was, this is like well over maybe eight, nine years ago, like I remember still going to everyone points. They're going to Baptist church, got grow Baptist but not really understanding the thoughts of some things that the future would say. Like you know, I definitely have friends in like the LGBT community and then they talk about you know, like you're going to hell if you love someone else and I just kind of felt like how can this be the God that I serve, but the people who I love is not love back you?
Speaker 1:know, so it really kind of like it's didn't? It didn't make sense to me. And then you know it's always this idea of you know, sin, sin, sin. But then you know all sin is supposed to be the same, no matter what you do, whether it's killing or fornication, whatever you want to call it. But then it was in our community. It seemed to be like, okay, I know, it says all sin is equal. However, this one is way worse than this one so then I was like, okay, this doesn't make sense.
Speaker 1:So then I started doing my own research. I started actually reading the Bible, not just the you know few scriptures they read the sermon game from exactly so I started reading, I got deep into the Old Testament.
Speaker 1:I'm just like, well, I don't like this, this doesn't make sense to me. And I'm just like I remember at one point I put the book down, come, just like this, this irritate, it irritated me. And again it's like you can't. But then you can't question. And I'm like, how can I have a full understanding of what I worship if there's no questioning? You have to question things. At least I feel that way. That's how you understand. So I backed away. And then, as I backed away, I'm just like, well, I'm just not, I'm still believing this, but I'm just not gonna do, I'm not gonna do the religious thing you know. And then, as time went on, I kind of just stayed in that vibe. And then, as time went on, I'm like, well, I'm gonna start reading this and I'm gonna start reading that. And then I'm, at one time I had this dream and it's dream I won't go into it, y'all, because that's my personal story and I was just like, but it scared me and I was like so I'm not felt like there's more to this.
Speaker 1:Our talk to a friend of mine who's already, I would say, leagues ahead in her spiritual journey and she'll like oh, baby, that's just the answers was reaching out to you.
Speaker 1:I was just about to say I was a natural answers saying all right, baby, we need you over here and it's insane because, like, when this happened, I talked to my siblings about it and my brother was like, oh, I had a dream, not the same one as me, but it was still somebody reaching out and then my sister was just like I don't know y'all. And then, like, maybe a month or two later, she ended up having a dream. So it's just like, so y'all just gonna get us back to back to back, mm-hmm, like come on y'all. But I guess it started with my brother, since he's the youngest and he just worked his way up. So you know, so we all kind of start talking about things from here in there, but it's all our own different paths, though, and we understand that mm-hmm.
Speaker 1:So from that moment, like I said, now I'm just like okay, I just want to do with some understanding, because I know there's like a lot of people who follow like the Yoruba culture. I know there's some mixing of different things that I think you kind of. I saw your Facebook post the other day when you was like which I'm gonna ask you to explain like the difference between who do and voodoo and why these are like different and why I can't believe, but, like the TV and media tell you, because that's just the white page, patriarch, and trying to keep a hold of what our spirituality is. But go on all right.
Speaker 2:So where to start? Um, so mine was slightly similar my journey. I grew up in a church, grew up at this. My daddy was a minister. My mother was one of the prayer warriors. I got baptized when I was five. I saw the teachers Sunday school when I was seven. I got my license in Christian education when I was 13. I did all the things. I was an aquire. I was on a dance team. I was the sergeant over the drill team. I was president over the usher board. I did national and international biblical competitions. I know the Bible. It made no sense, though, but I was so indoctrinated with God and with this book, like I remember at last year, people used to pick on me. I would not answer back. I would literally write Bible verses back to them. Oh wow, it did not help, but you know, it was my comfort. You know, in high school, um, it was the same thing I was. People knew me mostly the church girl mm-hmm.
Speaker 2:I went to school Friday night, I was at church Saturday morning, I was at competitions. I didn't do. I did very little football games. Yes, I did extra curriculas, but I had to balance it all out, mm-hmm. And then Katrina hit move to Texas, draw the church up there. Same thing, different state, mm-hmm. And in 2018, my mom went through something very serious and we did what we called. I called it a social experiment because we had a women's conference and people were like, oh my god, I'm thank you so much for beating this, thank you so much for being honest with us. If you needed anyone to talk to her here, and then she needed someone and no one was there mm-hmm so I said let's not go to church one Sunday and see what happens.
Speaker 2:Three weeks went by. Nobody said nothing for me. That was my straw, because I was like I'm already questioned in this Bible mm-hmm and they teach you. The Bible is basic instructions before leaving earth, but I can't question my instructions and the instructions don't make sense. This book does not logistically make sense. You cannot tell me me as a pansexual person I'm going to help because I'm pansexual right.
Speaker 2:I'm going to help because I'm probably. I'm going to help for all of these reasons, but I'm doing more for the church than these holy people are doing. Right, you can't tell me that the Bible, theologically at his bases of doctrine, makes sense. How did you go from people in the Old Testament living to be a thousand years to the New Testament? They only get 70. Yeah, you get three. Score intended, you live a prior. A pious life is the promise of the Bible. You only get 70.
Speaker 2:Even when I saw this study in a history of the people that wrote the Bible, how many different people it took, how many books they wrote, what was going on the 1600 year gap between the Old Testament and the New Testament. It makes no sense. And I had questions and nobody would answer my questions. But I knew I was always spiritually into from a young age. I could. I used to be able to interpret dreams they might get. I don't know. I used to be able to see spirits. I can still feel spirits, I can do the things. But once I was in church it was kind of suppressed because my focus became God, there's God, that it was to the point. My clubbing days was going to a Christian nightclub. I don't know if you know they pause yeah, there's what so there is.
Speaker 2:There are things called a Christian nightclub and it's this church that runs it and it's literally like a club, but they play modern Christian music. There's Christian line music, christian dance music, and it's from Friday night between from 7 to 11, and at the brown 1030 they do the invitation to discipleship and a quick little devotional and then you go on about your night. That's what I did.
Speaker 1:That doesn't actually sound terrible actually?
Speaker 2:it is because what I realized was I was going to this Christian club every Friday night, leaving from there and then going to TGI Fridays to have drinks, or I was going out doing whatever mm-hmm so it was kind of productive, and even to the point that I have a fear of haunted houses, which is, yeah, I don't do haunted houses.
Speaker 2:I don't, I don't like them, I don't. But I went to Hell House in Tyler, texas, which is a Christian haunted house. It is actually very popular national thing what they do. They take you through a cemetery first and then you meet Satan. He puts you on this thingy thing that's supposed to represent bringing you down to hell. They walk you through 16 different sins or scenes so it's things like suicide, pedophilia, pornography, disrespect, and you're watching these actors play it out all the while these demons are chasing you. Then they put you in this thing that is no bigger than this for one minute underground, with the temperature is 100 degrees for you to feel like what hell feels like, while you hear Satan over the loudspeaker reading from the Satanic Bible and warping the scriptures. Then you walk out of that and you see Jesus getting beaten for your sins.
Speaker 2:You see Jesus that's dramatic across, then you see Jesus rise, and then they take you for somebody to minister you and give you two bike cupcakes and a cup of coffee, and it's literally meant to scare the hell a lot of you yeah, I mean that's more like scare straight like the Christian. Christian edition like very much beyond scare straight and I went to this and I was like what, what?
Speaker 2:is going on why this did not help. This made it worse. So then, when I moved back here and we went to that whole thing in 2018, I was like you know what I need to find God for myself and that's something I've heard in church. A lot from people I grew up with was I left the church to find God for myself, and in the back of church. You can't do that. You become the prodigal son. You can't do that. You can't leave. If you leave and come back, you've got to go in front the church and confess what you did and bring talk about everything that's your journey, which is like.
Speaker 1:Technically, it's not no one's business about your journey, what they tell you is open sin, open confession.
Speaker 2:But where did I sit openly? Except for the fact I stopped giving you my money every weekend, showing up.
Speaker 2:Hold it for conversation, though, but after that I had questions, and then I started doing research mm-hmm and I was like, well, this is always pulled to me was the ATRs, the African traditional religions, especially when you know the Christian Bible mm-hmm was given was published 1492, 1503. One of them. One of them, king James, did it and it was used as a part of our enslavement, mm-hmm. So my question is, if this happened here, what did we have before? Because if you go on the biblical timeline, in the beginning was the word and the word was with God and the word was God. That's John, one in one.
Speaker 2:So if I go by this Bible you gave me, god woke up one day and decided I'm going to create the world. Took him six days to do it. On the seven day he rested, first chapter, first 10 verses of the first chapter of Genesis. And then we get through all of this. Jesus came, the world went from BC to AD. He lived, he died, he rose, and that was 2000 years ago. And now we wait, knowing in the comeback. Logistically that don't make sense, because if you look at science, science predates that. So I was like, okay, let's do some research. And then I found I re-looked into Voodoo, because we're in New Orleans.
Speaker 2:It's everywhere.
Speaker 1:Skeleton Key. I see your little key.
Speaker 2:Skeleton Key Got one on the hair, skeleton Key, and Skeleton Key is one of the best, truest forms of Voodoo that I've seen, with some Voodoo in it. That movie is the truest when it comes down to conjuring, dealing with spirits, making packs and contracts that you have to fulfill. It's one of the truest ones that I've seen. But, like you mentioned earlier, you see things in the media. They get to mixed up. One of my favorite ones to discuss is American Horror Story Coming.
Speaker 2:Oh God it's one of my favorite ones, because they took a whole bunch of stories that, granted, they all do run together, but they mixed up the energies. That was not Papa Legba, that was Baron Samadhi. So they took an Orisha, who's also a Loa, and assigned it to Marie Levo, but it was actually the Loa Bel-Aus-Samadhi Completely different energies and most people. Yeah, she had to give Papa Legba a baby once he got. No, she didn't. That's not what happened. Stop saying that. But if you don't know, you go to these media representations, you go to American Horror Story, you go to Skellin Tiki, you go to another one, because there was a bunch I'm trying to think of popular ones that people have seen that they will say, oh, it'll come to me later.
Speaker 1:I will say I'm hoping if I'm wrong I will change it in the descriptor. But on YouTube this is a woman I want to say her name is Black Witch Yaya and she does some stories. I've seen a lot of her stuff. I actually kind of like her stuff I really do Because I feel like she comes in a space of honesty and she kind of really breaks it down. So it kind of helped me a little bit understand certain things. Remember, she has a series or segments, I guess, that go over different popular movies and she talks about the good, the bad and not so true.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I've seen a lot of her stuff. I like her stuff too. Yeah, she's good.
Speaker 1:I haven't checked out her boyfriend, the Baron. I haven't checked out his stuff yet. Yeah, the.
Speaker 2:Baron. I haven't checked out his, mainly because I live with a Baron. There, you go, but yeah, but yeah. It's a lot of stuff that's out there that people are drawing to. Oh American Gods.
Speaker 1:Oh, I didn't watch that series.
Speaker 2:So I started it, did not watch it. I want to watch it, but the season that I really want to watch it, they took it down, which is season two, because I need to watch Anansi show his natural behind, oh my God. Okay, so all of his stuff was not scripted, that is, his words and his knowledge of what he understands spirituality to be and what he understands universe and spirit to be. That's why he was fired from the show, because he was speaking too much truth, oh, and that's why they took it down. Well, they don't want you to know the truth Exactly. As long as they can make a dollar or restrict what we do and what we have access to, it's always going to be an issue. It's just like down here you can go to most of these stores and you can get a Gregory bag, you can get a voodoo doll, you can get a Lachies, you can get whatever, and there's nobody there to tell you how to use them or what they're for.
Speaker 1:Right. You can end up harming yourself in the end if you don't use it the correct way. So I think you got to be very careful. But you know, people just again see what they see on TV and he's buying to like this. I remember one time I had a so y'all know I work in the service industry and I had these guests who were just like so where's the best voodoo shop to go to? And I'm just like dude, I'm not even about to get into this with you, get out of my face. You better go YouTube, go Google it or something.
Speaker 2:They're going to end up at that one little store on Rampart Street with that one person that wrote the voodoo deck.
Speaker 1:Dang, don't be throwing shots on the. Oh no, I'm not throwing shots.
Speaker 2:Okay, so her store is actually. I like her store for what it is. She actually has one of the. She has the only true hoodoo drugstore left open in the city. There were two one closed since 2018, and that one was F and F Botanica on Broad Street, but her store is the only true hoodoo store that's open still.
Speaker 1:But no, okay, let's make it sure I was like no. I was like.
Speaker 2:no, I was like girl although I do have her deck. Yeah, it's in my bag.
Speaker 1:Oh, really, I was like no.
Speaker 2:Not that one, not that one. But she is what's known as the hoodoo queen of New Orleans, but it's a white woman. Oh.
Speaker 1:So now you know, yeah, I know who you are girl.
Speaker 2:I ended up at the ceremony the St John's East Virtual. I was like no. I wanted to be dozy. Don't do that, Don't do it, Don't do that. Do not make my mistake. Y'all. I was like why am I one of the few black people out here? Why am I the only person who looks like I belong here? There were like even people welcomed to me like oh my God, can you cleanse me? Yo, yes, You're supposed to be over there.
Speaker 1:So we're going to take it back a little bit because we just get into our own little tangents, but we're going to take it back. Now you mentioned you know King James was written somewhere or finished between 1492 and 1503-ish, right? I think it was around there. So you know slavery is like what? 1619 when we get over here, right?
Speaker 2:That's what they tell us. That's what they tell us.
Speaker 1:But you know, we're just going to go with what the books say, right? So that's the issue. We know that we've had something before then, so can you perhaps walk us through the process of you know, perhaps, what we did do before Christianity?
Speaker 2:And I just looked it up, I was wrong 1611.
Speaker 1:Okay, there we go. Okay, well, so just shy of eight years of us coming to America. Oh okay, go ahead.
Speaker 2:So before that, in Africa, you had traditional African traditional religions, atrs, depending on what part of Africa you were in kind of determine what it was you believed. You had people who believed in animism, which is the spirit, which is the belief that everything has a spirit People, animals, nature, everything has a spirit or soul inside of it. In West Africa, you had voodoo. You had Yoruba, which is, if I you know the ones that happen, your inbox, your ancestors have sent me here to give you yes, not all of them are like that, but that's what people associate with them. But you had if I you have voodoo, you had animism and that's kind of. Then you had Catholicism, which actually started in Ethiopia. From what I understand, my husband's Catholic, so he's teaching me all of the things that I don't like about the Catholic Church. Oh, okay, because I grew up like I don't disagree with this, and he's cradle Catholic, so he's like so I'm just going to teach you things.
Speaker 1:Yeah, my grandmother was Catholic and there's no shade. It was just very boring as a child going to the church because they didn't really sing. They start talking in a different language. I didn't understand and no one can tell me what they're saying and letting. I was just so confused.
Speaker 2:But go on.
Speaker 1:Well, no.
Speaker 2:I call. I told him. I went to Mass with him once and I was like yo, if you want to be an exercise, this is all you have to say. But that was some doctrinal things. I disagree with Catholicism and so he's teaching me, I'm teaching him and it helps us with what we do now. But there was also Catholicism and then eventually, christianity. So a lot of what we practiced before was if I, which was working with the Eretias, which is what it looks like, everybody's running straight to the Eretias, everybody wants to be a child of ocean, everybody wants to deal with Papa Legba, everybody wants to deal with Oya or Yamoya or Shangol or Goon or Colsi, any of them, that is ifa. Those are the Eretias.
Speaker 2:Then you have Voodoo, which you have the Loa, so you have the Gereda Rara, brazil, memo, brigitte, baron, sanmity well, all four, the main four of the Barons. So all of those spirits. Now, voodoo does change according to where you practice it. African Voodoo is different than Haitian Voodoo. It's different than New Orleans Voodoo, just like Voodoo. You have New Orleans Voodoo, appalachian Voodoo, southern, down under the Delta Voodoo. There's all these different versions and it really just changes according to your region and your bloodline. So the way we practice Voodoo, some people that are very close to practice it a little differently, and that's fine, because it's according to what your bloodline is, your ancestors, what you have initiated into.
Speaker 1:Right. So, that being said, do you think if someone wanted to I guess quote, unquote, practice the right version would they like perhaps get an ancestral reading to understand their bloodline?
Speaker 2:I would definitely recommend that, definitely start. So my biggest thing I tell people if you're starting out, always start with your ancestors. Before you start running off to anybody else, you build a connection with your ancestors. Each person is made up of 14 generations of ancestors, so there's 14 generations of DNA, knowledge, understanding, trauma, gifts, ability. All of that Did you have access to. Why would you go outside of who you already are? That's the way I look at it. So if I know that I have all of these, all of this ingrained in my DNA, that's why I'm going first. I'm going over here Before I start running off, because you can run off to the original a little while, whatever, and then you end up making contracts and packs and then you end up messing yourself up.
Speaker 2:But as far as practicing the right way, the only right way to practice is what feels right to you. In my opinion, right, what feels right to you, because everybody has a different path. Everybody has different gifts, different abilities, a different calling, a different purpose. You know, some people are healers, some people are divinators, some people are medicine, women, conjugal root workers. Whatever it may be. There is a place for everybody. But before you get to, I'm such and such and I do such and such. Do you know who you are first, before you try to make other people believe who you are? And have you set with your ancestors for their guidance and their knowledge? So I always say go with your ancestors first, always go with them first.
Speaker 1:I think that's probably the most important thing that's been said today. Like, whatever you practice, or if you don't practice at all, just like, do you know yourself? Like, how can you heal from anything, any trauma, especially as black people Like we are literally just raised within trauma, within trauma, within trauma? How can we begin to heal from that if we don't even know who we are?
Speaker 2:Exactly and knowing who you are is deeper than just being angry. And a lot of people end up over here because they're angry. They're angry that church didn't understand them. They're angry that parents didn't understand them. They're angry about enslavement. They're angry and they don't understand how many generations back that anger goes. They don't understand just how deep seated that actually is. And so you're walking around, going I'm angry at God, I'm going over here to spirituality and now you're angry.
Speaker 2:In spirituality and using the guides of, I'm doing my shadow work, I'm in my spiritual warfare, I'm doing my healing and you're not healing, you're just finding new things to be angry about. So if you're going to come over here and you're going to say I want to practice correctly, you do your ancestor connection, you build that connection, you do your ancestor veneration and you have to heal. If you ain't healing, I ain't got nothing for you. I don't, and healing is continuous. I really need people to understand that.
Speaker 2:There's economists conception that, oh, I feel my inner child, I'm good. No, no, you didn't. Because there's always something that comes up. There's always a suppressed something that you did not realize, that you forgot was there. There's your teenage self, your young adult self, your current self. Then you go into the ancestor veneration of healing your bloodline, of venerating and honoring your ancestors, which is funny because the church does the same thing. Antalus is wrong. It's in the Bible literally. When Jesus went up on a lot of transfigurations and Moses and Elijah showed up, those were his ancestors. If you look at the bloodline of Jesus, those are his direct ancestors.
Speaker 1:I can't wait. You can use the knowledge that you have Like the absolute knowledge.
Speaker 2:Hey, one of my biggest things I've learned and I've said this recently and I think you saw it when I said it I didn't leave God, I left the church. Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, but in a blank period. I use my Bible more now than I did when I was in church.
Speaker 1:And I think that's so important too, because a lot of people who don't really know what spirituality is thinks that it means that you turn your back on God. That's not it at all. If anything, I just feel like I've grown closer because I don't have, because I'm learning who I am as a person and what I spent and literally seeing God within myself, right Like it's not just the idea of it being some white guy on a cloud looking above judging me. I feel like that's just a part of who I am.
Speaker 2:Mm-hmm, but even the Bible tells you that. The Bible tells you that God is within us.
Speaker 2:The body is the church. It tells you where two or three are gathered. God is in the midst. So, as long as we're sitting here on one accord, god is here because we are here. That's what your orary is. Your higher self is your God consciousness. So I deconstruct it as they're using now from the white guy on the cloud, from the white guy on the throne with his hand out, saying stuff of the little I don't need that. I know how to use my Bible to do what I need to get done. It's called Bibliomancy. That's your word of the day.
Speaker 1:That's the word of the day.
Speaker 2:It's called Bibliomancy and it's basically using the Bible scriptures for what you're doing. Everybody loves to say the book of songs is a book of spells. Ok, we know that it's 66 books in the Bible. You can use all 66 of them. You don't have to stick to just one. And then start doing your research to the books that's not in the Bible, like the book of Enoch.
Speaker 1:That part, kari, I'm going to need you to write them down for me if I can do my own research, the thing about it I remember as a little girl y'all this is a real story. I can share this one. My great-grandmother, oh, she was something spiritual she has to be Because she used to always tell me oh well, you know, baby, they say 66, but you know they got more than that. And of course I've had my older aunts be like, don't tell them, kids that. But she was speaking the truth. And I'm just like I think as people get older, you respect your elders but you also quiet them. And I'm just like I wish I would have had the chance to learn more from her. You know, you do, I do. Now, I know that now. Oh, I know that now.
Speaker 2:She likes to walk around in houses?
Speaker 1:Yeah, I do now, probably because her name is written on some things, but y'all ain't going to be going to talk about that later.
Speaker 2:That would make sense, because I swear I just saw her with her olive oil praying over some of y'all, so yeah, Just let it go yeah. And that's the thing too. A lot of older people did hudu and put it under church, which is what hudu is. It's traditional African practices with Christianity. Olive oil, the holy oil. The anointing oil.
Speaker 2:And you use it to anoint and pray. Same thing Even in the book of Psalms, where it talks about how to clean with hyssop and different herbs. What do we cleanse with Hiss up in different herbs? In the book of Exodus, when it talks about Moses making the breastplate and it has 12 different crystals listed. Go look it up girl look go look it up better make.
Speaker 2:I will pull it up now real quick. Go ahead, we got time, shoot um. It talks about, and I wanted um Moses breastplate. These are all the crystals. I'm gonna show you the picture that was that he would have put on the breastplate, and so the the Christians tell you Is demonic, right, we're not supposed to use it. Oh, it's Aaron's breastplate red jasper, citrine, quartz, topas, emerald, ruby, lapis lazuli, sapphire, diamond, golden sapphire, blue, sapphire, amethyst, yellow jasper, glow um onyx. And this last one is chrysophage.
Speaker 1:So for some of the crystals you name that I know top off my head, I know that's like a, that's protection, I know that's like protecting your energies and, um, I know another one's also like about peacefulness. Now, I'm still learning my crystals.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so this is exodus 28, 17 through 20.
Speaker 1:Oh, so y'all can go look it up for yourself.
Speaker 2:So I want y'all to keep this in mind. There's 12 crystals here. There's 12 tribes of the of Judah. So you have your citrine, which is a lot of people use for manifestation, for grounding. You have your jasper. Your emerald lapis lazuli is great for your throat chakra, learning how to speak correctly. What did Aaron do? He spoke. He was a priest. You have your sapphire, your amethyst, so all of the things that the church tells us is demonic and we can't put our faith in rocks. It's literally in the bible.
Speaker 1:Now, come on y'all.
Speaker 2:Literally in the bible. All of it's there, even down to how and who do and who do the wailing women would sing over children and as they pray over them, they will sing. What did they do in the bible? They prayed and they sang. They laid hands. But when you have a picture of Juanita by them and Ayala vanzana laying hands, it's a problem, because Ayala vanzana is an initiated Europe, a priestess, she's an e5 priestess, but she's in church laying hands doing the same thing. People were mad with Juanita by them because she had an altar. Have y'all been in the Catholic Church? Thank you?
Speaker 1:I'm like, what do y'all think? You like you. You like the candle. I'm like that's an altar.
Speaker 2:Like you, talk about us doing rituals is wrong y'all literally.
Speaker 1:You're doing a ritual when you do, when you drink the blood of christ and eat the little cracker on the plate.
Speaker 2:Communion is a ritual. Baptism is a ritual Um the laying of hands and exercising demons. If demons are so demonic and you're exercising them, why can't we do it? These are things that just make you go, hmm.
Speaker 1:Absolutely is. It makes you question everything, but in a good way. But, like I said, I think this is like. I know it does seem like nowadays it's becoming more of a trend, kind of like a couple years ago, when Madonna had, like, the caballo string and everybody wants a world-wrestling on their own. I don't know. You remember that, yeah, and you know, and I'm hoping that you know it, people are actually learning from this, which is why I want you here to kind of speak about it, because you know, you again, you don't want to do the wrong thing when you like, oh, I'm gonna go ahead and light this candle up, but then you don't really know who you calling.
Speaker 2:Oh no, here's the big example. You remember the mold of I craze, I craze when everybody wanted mold of I Modified is a green crystal and it is an amplifier of whatever is going on. So, like a year or so ago, everybody wanted mold of I.
Speaker 1:So I have a necklace I want you to check out before you leave, okay, so this is what happened. It was my birthday, right, and my brother's friend just went to like the French market and picked out a necklace. He thought it was pretty and brought it and I was just like, oh, again, this is before I started really getting into like my learning and I just like, cool, what is it? And he didn't really have an answer because he's just like, oh, it's just something pretty in green. Okay, cool, I'm not wearing it because I don't know what it is and I don't want to invite nothing into me that I don't know what it is. So we're gonna check that out before you leave.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I'll check it out, but now there's people talking about oh my god, I got the motivate and my life went to shambles. Hmm.
Speaker 2:Like people are doing these trends. The ways be trend Great. I do have a set of ways beads. I take them on and off Because whatever energy is on the ways beads, once you tie it on, you are tied into that energy. So if the person that put it on you had bad intentions of whatever it is, it is now tied on you until you take it off. No, it was the red cavala thing. It was the motivate. It was um, what's the latest one? Now? The core cutting trend is the latest one when you do a candle ritual to cut cords between you and another person.
Speaker 1:Oh, okay, I was like that's the. I was wondering because, yeah, you know, I do my doula work, right, so I'm working on learning blessing way ceremony. So this is one thing they had which I think is kind of cool. Um, it's, you know, you have all these women who, some of them are moms, some of them are odds, and they share all these wonderful stories. So when the lady goes into labor, uh, they like they can't have to pray together and then, after the baby is here safely and everyone's fine and everything's good, you cut the, um, the yarn that you wear on your wrist, because now that has happened, so I'm just like it's nothing, all right, I had to make sure and I was like girl.
Speaker 2:I know someone who was um, I know who is a doula and also spiritual. I'm gonna see if she's open to having conversations, because I think y'all too.
Speaker 2:We might be able to click up and connect y'all might be able to do some things, but um, there's all these different trends that people are following and they're not studying the cabala bracelet. That ain't american, it's not. Yeah, you know what? Something that you thought it was pretty? Wearing the evil eye if you don't know what it is, take it off. Wearing a hamster and calling you at the evil eye, the hand I don't know what you're saying calling it the evil eye.
Speaker 2:There's Oof. One of my biggest ones is going into a store and they sell a lakeies or who do we call them collars. If you did not initiate, you ain't supposed to be walking to a store and selling them and buying them. And people go in there I want this one for a shoot and I want this one and then they wear them and you're wearing spirits you have nothing to do with. Even you people who don't believe in spirituality until there's a retrograde or a full moon. I don't get it. I don't. You tell me every other time of the month that what I do is that it's okie dore. It's that okie dope. Oh, my god, mercury's in the microwave, mercury's in retrograde.
Speaker 2:You do know there's a bunch of other planets besides mercury, or a common one that most people don't know is your bird chart. You're not supposed to share your bird chart. That is like your spiritual social security number. So people talk about well, I'm this moon and this rising, and I have this and Venus and this and this and this. You're telling people how to get access to you. Um, and your bird chart? Yes, it does explain things about you, but you have to get somebody that knows how to read your sign With the house. How many empty houses. You have to know what all of that is, and not just Well, I'm a moon and I'm a perico and I'm a rising, and I'm a rising and my son is this, and this is in leo and this is my lilith. Don't know, like I don't think, I tell people I am a super burgo. Those that know me that know, they know. But you got to protect yourself, exactly Like I. The way you protect yourself physically, you have to do even more spiritually, just like another big one. Stop showing your.
Speaker 1:I was just about to say that I was like I, I first of all, I don't show my all to you. It's not out here for the people to see, all right, because that's something personal to me and I just I just feel like that's my sacred area, right? So yeah, you would never see it on social media, because I mean, I'm about to just open a window for you to sit there and put something bad energy on me, you know, and that's what happens, right?
Speaker 2:Yeah. So if you want, if you come in my house, I have two alters by my front door that protect the house. Then you come in a little bit and I have my ancestor altar. My husband has his ancestor altar, my alters. Most people walk past and don't even realize it, because it's a bookshelf, nice, and you have to look at what's on the bookshelf To catch. Oh, those are alters. Otherwise it just looks like a white bookshelf. I like that. But my ancestors alters are out in the open because my ancestors like to be out in the open, they like people, they like socialize. My husband's family is the same way.
Speaker 1:Okay, I keep them locked up. I should probably them out.
Speaker 2:So they like to be out. We leave them out, but we also don't have a lot of people in our house either.
Speaker 1:That's true and that's, and they is like me and my husband. We are very, very particular who we allow in here. Um. Like my husband. I think he's very sensitive to like different people. Personally, like he, just like he's always, even when we were younger, he would always say I rather have four quarters and a hundred pennies. That is his favorite.
Speaker 2:He's an extreme empath and until he learns how to deal with that, he's not gonna deal well with a lot of new people. Yeah, and that's just him. He has to he's.
Speaker 1:Y'all know he's very sensitive. He's a sweet guy and the one thing I wish I could learn from him Is when he was someone said, does something wrong, and they say I'm sorry, and they show forgiveness, he's just like, okay, I can forgive you, and he just moves past. Now my ass, my ass, be like All right, cool, like I forgive you and depending how much I care about you at the, keep you or I don't see, and mine is the same way.
Speaker 2:He's the most patient person to a fault, mm-hmm, he has all the patients in the world and my little firecracker self. I'm like, bro, the running joke at our house is he's gonna forgive you, I have a jar for you. That's the running joke at our house. But it's the balance. But yeah, we don't have a lot of people in our house and our house energy is set. You can't come in our house when the when the bull don't do it. If you come in the house and you want some forgave these stuff, you got 30 minutes tops, tops Before you start itching to get out, and that's how I set the energy in my house. You're gonna get sick, you're gonna be uncomfortable, you're gonna feel off. Did you have to amen that, bro?
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, I know, yoko the dog, my pomeranian, is pretty much in every episode, so if y'all hear him, I do apologize for channel. This is a real podcast and my dog does not like to not be a part of it, so if you hear him breathing extra hard, I apologize.
Speaker 2:But yeah, I set the energy of my house. My house is warm, it's welcoming. Yeah, you come over, but you need if we got it. I got you right. Don't bring no mess, I will run you out of there.
Speaker 1:And have no problems, as it should be. I mean, you know, now you know we got this house, like recently, we moved in January. But one of the things I've kept saying to myself and I look now I'm like, wow, I, when we were like deciding on what house to get and what to do, I just kept saying to the house I just Want a house that I feel safe in, that I feel secure and in that this can be a house of love. That's what I wanted. You know, I feel like that's what we got you know you set the energy in this house.
Speaker 2:This energy is like, uh, we chill it, Stay over there. Well, thank you.
Speaker 1:So if someone is interested in you know understanding Spirituality, who do voodoo, what would you recommend them do? Like if they're books of thinkery, is there a mentorship to get you on the right track? Like what does one do? And a loaded question there very loaded question.
Speaker 2:If you are wanting to start, okay, let's start here. Voodoo is a religion. Yes, hulu, there's a running debate on a hoodu. Is a religion or not? It depends on who you ask and where they are.
Speaker 1:Is it because who do has such a mixture of different things?
Speaker 2:Yes, okay and voodoo is a worldwide recognized religion. So most people in voodoo you can practice voodoo without initiating, but a lot of people do go through the process of getting their met said what was that in Sabrina? It was in Sabrina, oh teenage, which go ahead.
Speaker 1:Did you watch it a little bit, but I barely remember it. I remember watching episodes before she went to like college or something. No, no, no, no, the new Sabrina. Oh, I didn't finish it, cuz girlie, it took my Netflix, but but I did see like season one.
Speaker 2:No, no, no, this is season Two or three. So what happens is prudence. And Ambrose goes to find her daddy, father blackwood. She ends up in New Orleans and she meets Mambo Marilla floor.
Speaker 1:Spoiler alert. By the way, I'm sorry, I learned.
Speaker 2:But she's like, hey, I want the real hoodu, voodoo stuff. They, she does a bone divination. I see a man she is what it's called and she helps her locate where father blackwood is. But then she ends up coming back to help the coven and it's presented that this she's a mambo, which is a voodoo priestess. It's presented that she's supposedly a reflection of Marielle Vo. In the end you find out she's not Marielle Vo.
Speaker 2:She's actually spoiler alert the Female representation of Baron Samadine Over death in the cemetery and things like that. So that's another one that it made sense. But you have to know to know, because you're watching this whole coven wicking pagan thing and it's like, okay, and then boom, black folks, oh, atrs, and it can throw you off. But that's another representation, just when we were talking earlier. Right, but in who do, who do is a lot of self initiation.
Speaker 2:Your bloodline is what initiates you into it. Now, if you're a member of a hoodu house, you can go through an initiation process, but a lot of people are not members of official spiritual houses and they go through their own initiation process, whether you were baptized in church or whether your ancestors had you do some stuff on your own. I've gone through a couple different ones. I was baptized as a young age but I also was in the hoodu house and in the hoodu house I was initiated that way. So if you are trying to practice I always recommend Get you somebody you trust that's not going to site for your energy MS over you.
Speaker 2:Mmm that is a mistake I made when I very, very, very first started practicing officially. I met this chick and she told me all the right things Until they got weird. She told me she was a living body made of spirit. She told me she caused covid. Oh, wow, okay, her and her 12 year old at the time. We were gonna be stuck in the house because she was stuck in the DV situation and until she got out of that we were gonna be stuck inside. Then she had me doing money rituals for her. She was making thousands of dollars a month, I think. It kind of was consistently going negative. Then she got mad because I wouldn't quit my job and work for her full time. That was it. Then, when I met my spiritual mentor and started talking to her, she was like yo run and I joined her house.
Speaker 2:Just kind of where I'm at right? Um, but get you a mentor, even if not everybody that practices is gonna be under a house, like I said. But you need somebody that can help you learn at least the basics, because Google is not always your friend and A lot of people can say a lot of nothing and make it sound good. So get you a mentor that you trust and ask your ancestors back to that ancestor connection Right. Ask them to bring the people around you that supposed to be there. Ask them to bring the people that's gonna actually help guide you and not just take from you. As far as books, books are gonna be tricky because again, everybody has a different path. The books are read. Most people are not gonna read. If you're coming from the church, read the Bible mm-hmm.
Speaker 2:You already know it. They drill that scripture in our head.
Speaker 2:Yes, they did study to show that self-approved unto God, a workman, need to not be ashamed. Rightly, dividing the word is truth and the church, they tell you. That means you're supposed to study the Bible, so that way nobody can tell you anything different. Mm-hmm, same thing in spirituality. If you know God for yourself, you know what it is for yourself. Nobody else can tell you differently. But get a mentor, somebody that can help you learn what to do and what not to do, how to work with moon phases, how to heal yourself, how to do your spiritual warfare, how to do your candle work, how to work with your herbs, how to give offerings correctly, how to even go to your ancestors correctly, because some people, ancestors are very formal. Oh, some of them is like yo, what's up?
Speaker 2:I need this you know, so I always say get a mentor, get a reading from somebody you trust, and please don't let everybody read you mm-hmm.
Speaker 2:There. There's a lot of people that come to me for readings and they're like oh, I've got a reading from this person and I went over here and I went over there and I'm like Paul. So you didn't let all these people into your energy? Did they cut the connection? Oh, no, yes, you know, you got too many people pulling on you. I have one, two, three, four, maybe four or five people that I allowed to read me at any given moment, on any, whatever it is. I can call them as like yo. I Know I can read myself, but I need you, I need a little extra, or or. This is what I pulled, this is what I got. Do you see anything differently? I Don't let everybody have access to my energy, and that's something that I had to learn, because when I started, I Wanted to be captain save-o you can't do that.
Speaker 1:They don't want to be saved.
Speaker 2:Don't save her, no but everybody want to be told something good and because I understand myself and my gifts, I would just walk up to you. You get a reading. You get a reading, you get a definition. Oh, here's free Florida water. Here's free sage, here's this candle, whatever it was. Until I read myself ragged To the point, my spiritual mentor was like up you go on this occlusion, shut everything down. My husband was like you, not talking to nobody, he will legit tell me not to talk to anybody, not even him, for 24 hours.
Speaker 1:Oh, that's nice.
Speaker 2:He's like. Then he was like okay, you can only talk to me, that's it, because your energy is precious and for people that are impasse the intuitives you don't know what to do with that. And that's where that mentor comes in to help you learn who you are and how to work with who you are, versus how to be what you think you are of the version of yourself You're trying to perpetrate because you're not sure.
Speaker 1:Damn, that's also.
Speaker 2:Because, think about it growing up, we all had oh, my nickname is this, this is my persona. I had a bunch. I had a bunch. Everybody was up in the. It was up I'm cool, you know and then got Into my special interest.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, quote unquote, you know yeah.
Speaker 2:I'm sure it's right got my name over there and then I joined spirituality and one thing that I learned was that my name changed according to my journey, so the name that I have now is nothing name I have when I started.
Speaker 1:right, it's changed a few times and and which is why I asked you how to pronounce cuz like yeah, I understand. This is who you are now and I just want to be respectful of that my mom has now taken to calling me Reverend alphabet Brutal. Girl, your mama mess.
Speaker 2:This is why this is why so, when I first started, I was given the name Omo a yonfé, which means child of choice, and that lesson was I had to learn the things that I allowed to happen to me was a choice, and I couldn't play victim and manipulate situations. Then I went to Endowell Endowell, you call a, you call a lot in Papa Wayne, in one way go, which is shelter at the crossroads. That's where I should start a call to me, reverend alphabet, because I also am ordained. Then I went to IIT Ova, which is mother of gardens, which I, that one, kicked my Because, um, you can't grow, it isn't playing it right. Mm-hmm, you can't grow, was rotten and I have to watch who I allow into my fertilizer.
Speaker 2:So then I got One day in key you know, I got not in tea, which is the mother of discipline. So when you see that hashtag, that's what that is. It Takes discipline to do this and I really need people to understand that. And I brought that up because of the question you asked of how do you do this? This takes discipline.
Speaker 1:This is not just can't welcome to it tomorrow and just be done with it.
Speaker 2:This is not. I'm finna. Go get me a tarot deck, a Black crystal and I'm gonna be the craft. That's not what this is. And now I'm at the honorable mother, which in theory sounds good. But being honorable takes work. It takes the discipline that I learned before. Yeah, it takes all of the lessons I learned before to know my audio and my visual has to match up the way that I Do my practice. One is for me to do mm-hmm, but it's also For my ancestors, it's for my bloodline, it's for the ones that's coming after me. All right, you know, eventually we gonna have us a little chunky kid running around. No, no, it's gonna be chunky. It's gonna be a chunky kid. I know that it's gonna be cute. Yeah, so I do things for me, but I also had to learn not to run off and do the things. A funny story I did not want to read tarot cards. I grew up afraid of tarot cards. Why the church?
Speaker 1:and Carmen, the hip hopper of oh girl, when I flip through that card and Beyonce got that.
Speaker 2:It's gonna say death and I'm a die. And my mom grew up telling me that my great aunt was a voodoo priestess and she taught my mom some things. So I'm like, oh my god, what? No, I don't like it. So I grew up afraid, sarah parts, and one day I was with my spiritual mentor and I was like At first I got the Death and path awaken as the New Orleans Oracle deck and I was like yo, I'm drawn to this. I don't know why. She was like get it Shuffled it, read it. Okay, okay, it's not, it's not as rough as a tarot, I'm good. And then my ancestors said Playing cards, which I did not know. There was a thing, it's called carter man, see, reading playing cards.
Speaker 2:It taught me something new gone so that's actually the most traditional form of who do divination is reading playing cards.
Speaker 1:It's. That's why you know supposed to play with playing cards. I know the church sometime frown on you playing like that and stuff like that's because of gambling.
Speaker 2:They won't pay money and they don't want you.
Speaker 1:Oh gambling.
Speaker 2:But that's also why you're not supposed to gamble with the deck that you read with, cuz you mix the energies. So some gooners, spirits like Tracy DiAmo, real of, oh, father buzzer, dr John, they all use playing cards as a form of reading people. So when I called her and I'm like yo, I got playing card. I heard playing cards. She was like, yeah, I know you'll come get them at the end of the month. And then she got me. She handed me a deck. She was like read me, read you what's? Oh, wow. And that's how I started. But I did what most people do ran off the races.
Speaker 2:I was like I do readings, come over here, get a reading yeah, I remember your post and and when I first started it was horrible, not because I didn't know what I was doing, because I didn't know how to manage the energy.
Speaker 2:Because I was doing it from the wrong place. A lot of people do things in spirituality just as a money grab. Everybody made ways means everybody do readings, everybody do candle work, everybody made your fun, and it's for money grabbing, not for actually building a community and healing. So that's what a mentor comes in, because she was there, I just wasn't listening. My nickname and tribe is called buff baby because I don't listen. I did not listen. So that's and and that's and that's the other part of mentorship and discipline. You have to listen. Yeah, you have to listen. Your ancestors can beat you all day long and, trust me, they will get you a decision. Your mentor can tell you all day long a sat down and learn you something, but the moment people trying to do something I'm offering this reading special, I'm doing this, I'm doing that and Everybody's like yo. We didn't tell you to do that and that does not help your healing process Because you're not listening, you're not applying the appropriate discipline, you're not focusing on the correct things.
Speaker 1:That was the cutest.
Speaker 2:But that's where that mentor comes in. And having somebody that could say yo, let's say something, my mentor don't play no games. She played no games. She'd say. I love you to death, but. I like you. Oh damn, she plays no games. She gonna keep it real with you. She will support you, she will help you, but you on your own, because, at the end of the day, what you? She said, what you eat, don't make me shit.
Speaker 1:Yeah, this is all for you.
Speaker 2:It's for you. So it was up to me to listen and I ended up getting myself in some big trouble a few times within the tribe. I didn't got sat down, I didn't got out most without. I don't have some issues why? Because I, even though I was healing, was choosing to be an attention seeker, choosing that I had to get validation. However, I thought I could get it versus just being, and that's one of the biggest things in spirituality I think people forget is that a lot of this is just you being you once you find you, and it's OK to go through the journey to find yourself. You have to. You have to go through the repair and process, you have to go through the unlearning old tapes to relearn better behaviors.
Speaker 1:I think some of that comes from just like believing that you're enough by yourself, because I mean when you think about it, like again, I can only pull from, like my back, just upbringing. You know you walk with Jesus the whole time, so or whatever. So just like, ok, how do I know that I can be enough in anything? And I'm assuming the medium for that comes from.
Speaker 2:I think for a lot of Christians I'm going to take it from that standpoint it is because you're taught crisis perfect. You are not. Right.
Speaker 2:So there's always a striving of even if you listen to the music or listen to people talk Lord. I know I'm not perfect, but I'm trying. You're never going to be perfect, but you're always trying. So there's this undertone of perpetual you're never good enough. There's this undertone and perpetual no matter what you'll do, you'll never get it right. And then you come over to spirituality with those same behaviors. So this basic indoctrination has turned into attention seeking, manipulation Self sabotage is a huge one Sabotaging of other people, lying, creating false narratives, disassociation.
Speaker 2:All of that can come from the basis of religious trauma that, once you go on a spiritual journey, you have to unlearn it. You have to go through the process of forgiveness, healing and acceptance and the willingness and ability to listen and repair it, because everything is intentional. You don't just wake up one day and say, oh, I'm over it. No, you have to be intentional with how you feel. You have to be intentional with your actions. You have to be intentional with studying the information, studying what to do and when, studying who to listen to, because, again, there's a whole bunch of information out there that, I mean, is right. I'm not going to say right because it was right from one mind I'd be right for somebody else. And I say right, it may not be what's right for you.
Speaker 2:And that's where the basis of it is, and I know that sounds like a lot for a basis. It's a lot for a basis, right, because in church they tell you come to Christ, lay your, cast all your burdens, and I'm good, spirituality nine, you finna heal first, you finna go through some things and you're going to be all right. I did it. I ended up losing a six and a half year relationship where I was engaged.
Speaker 1:Right.
Speaker 2:I married somebody else. Now I ended up losing a job. I got a job. Now you know, I'm building my own business. I'm happy, and happiness is not a word that you even hear in a church unless you're happy in Jesus. Over in spirituality, we learn just to be happy. We learn to be settled. I'm going to say Because in church they tell you when all things be content. I don't want to be content, I want to be happy, I want to be solid, I want to be stable and I'd have to depend on Jesus to do it.
Speaker 1:Right, because I mean there's definitely a difference between content and happiness. Because I feel like when you say the words content, it's just like this will do. This is OK, this is all right. My happiness is just a pureness of, just a feeling. So I mean words matter, words truly matter.
Speaker 1:So when people say different things, words are spells Exactly, even when you said before like the honorable mother, I'm like honorable. What does that mean? How do you live up to that? So, just like for me, I try to like break it down. What does that mean to you? It means a lot.
Speaker 2:Yeah For me to have the name I have now. It's intentional for me to feel like one, that I deserve the name. Right.
Speaker 2:But if I didn't deserve it, or if I didn't wasn't able to carry the mantle that came with it, my ancestors wouldn't have gave it to me. That's what I tell myself, but for me it's a thing of intention and discipline. I have to remain in balance at all times. Am I going to get it right all the time? No, I don't. Am I going to make mistakes? Yes, am I going to run off the rails? Sometimes? Probably. Can I pull myself together and get back on track, absolutely, when I fall off my meditation schedule. Hunting in the world is for the scorch.
Speaker 1:Husband problems, it's all right, that's fine. I'm actually about to wrap up anyway, but yeah.
Speaker 2:So for me, with that, it's just I have to remain in balance, I have to remain focused, I have to bring it on track. I can't let myself fall around, fall off. I can't. I don't want to be sloppy. And that's the way I look at it, because when you think about honor, you think about a stand-up person, someone who does what they say, somebody you can trust, and that's what I'm aspiring to, not to be with anybody else thinks I should be, and that's what I'm deconstructing from is I am who I am because I said that I am. I like that. I like that.
Speaker 2:I don't have to be your version of me, because your version of me is not my version of me.
Speaker 1:What's that old phrase? I'm going to mess it up. It's something like your opinion of me is not my business, something like that. Your opinion. It's something like that. I could be messing it up, but I know it's something like look.
Speaker 2:I'll tell everybody look, I might not be your shot of whiskey, but I'm sure it's somebody shot of rum. Ooh, what the hell. All right now. And there's a spot with a video going around that says I'm not the whiskey, you see, but I'm the water you need. Your version of me does not matter, and in the church you're taught that it matters. In church you're taught the way people see you is how your value is.
Speaker 1:It's the outside validation.
Speaker 2:Exactly so. For me it turned into attention seeking and manipulation. I tell everybody look, I was Mrs Deyo girl. If I wanted to, I got her. Or wanted your man, I got him. Whatever it was, I wanted to be praised. That praise king gets a whole thing. Call me a good girl, tell me I'm pretty. But it turned into attention seeking and now I don't need it. You know, I am in my skin and comfortable in my skin because I am loving the skin I'm in. Right.
Speaker 2:And I don't need you to tell me that it's pretty. I don't need you to tell me you're doing a good job. It's nice to hear. Don't get me wrong. But I don't need it. I don't need it. You know, and that's a part of my deconstructing and learning process and that's a part of the whole foundation. Part of this whole thing Is reparenting yourself learning how to love yourself first before you try to love other people.
Speaker 1:So you're still doing terrible readings, right? So if someone wanted to reach out to you, how could they do so?
Speaker 2:So if you're following me on Facebook, which is under Aya Ola, you can do it that way, or my Instagram is Conjure Chronicles, because that is the name of my business, conjure Chronicles.
Speaker 1:OK, hashtag that.
Speaker 2:Because I feel like well one. I'm a Conjure woman, so I work with spirits, but I feel like anything in life that we do. We conjure it up, whether it's negative or positive. And Chronicles because we all have a story to tell, and my story didn't end because I walked out of the door of the church.
Speaker 1:I'm so getting you right now.
Speaker 2:So my Instagram is Conjure Chronicles. You can do it that way also.
Speaker 1:All right, so I'm hoping this episode wasn't too controversial for some people. I hope that if you did decide to listen to this one, that you listen with an open heart and open mind Again. I know I'm personally working on my own journey. I know people already know that about me, but also I just felt like if I have questions, I'm sure there's plenty of other people who got questions too. Also, today we are in October. I don't know when this is going to come out because my schedule is ridiculous right now, but if this somehow comes out in October, we are in Hulu Heritage Month.
Speaker 2:And today is day two. It is Nat Turner Day. Ooh the honorable Nat Turner. Yeah, let's talk about revolutions.
Speaker 1:That's a whole other episode. I will do the.
Speaker 2:Facebook and a six-hack hose later, I promise Right.
Speaker 1:So y'all please follow her. I'm learning so much already and I plan on learning even more, but I'm going to let y'all go. We are already over an hour, so I'm going to let y'all go. Y'all have a good day. Bye.