Everything Looks Fine, So Why Doesn’t It Feel Right?

What happens when everything looks fine from the outside, but deep down, it still doesn’t feel right?

On this episode of Who’s Even Listening ?, Andrew sits down with Naomi Kreske from Keep Finding You for a conversation about rebuilding your life, trusting yourself again, and finding alignment after seasons of survival mode.

Naomi opens up about what surprise divorce, single motherhood, and starting over taught her about identity, patterns, hustle, self-trust, and choosing yourself without guilt. The conversation gets into the “hot mess” chapter of life, patterns people do not always realize they are stuck in, the difference between hustle and alignment, and what it can look like to reinvent yourself without losing yourself.

They also talk about grounded manifestation, hitting your stride later in life, approaching 50 with more clarity, and the message behind Naomi’s work with Keep Finding You.

Guest: Naomi Kreske

Who’s Even Listening ? — Season 2, Episode 49
 Overall Episode 74

Naomi’s Links:
Website: www.keepfindingyou.com
Instagram: @keepfindingu
Facebook: @keepfindingu

ELE — Everybody Love Everybody 💚

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:15

All right. Hello, welcome back to our mental medicine channel. This is our Who's Even Listening podcast. It comes out weekly every Wednesday on YouTube and Buzz Sprout if you're listening for audio. This is uh season two, episode number 49, with our very special guest, Naomi Kreske. Thank you for joining us.

SPEAKER_01 0:29

Yeah, thanks for having me.

SPEAKER_00 0:30

Absolutely. Thank you for taking the time out of your day for coming on. Yeah. Thank you. And uh before we always start, I always say Eoli is always our message and mission here. Eoli, everybody, love everybody. And uh let's try to do our part and make this world a better place, spread love, spread kindness and forgiveness. We need to do all, hopefully, do our part here, and hopefully we're influencing others to hopefully at home want to do that as well. But um Naomi, before we start, I always ask our guests the same thing. Before we start, go ahead and just give us a brief introduction of kind of who you are and what got you to where you're at today.

SPEAKER_01 0:57

What got me to where I'm at? That's that's a fun little journey. But who I am. Um I am a mother. Uh I have three kids and one step uh stepson. I have two grandbabies, uh remarried uh four years ago, um, and finally like hitting my stride in life. I I love the fact that I'm uh turning 50 in a couple weeks and I'm like excited about it. Dang right.

SPEAKER_00 1:22

That's a good thing.

SPEAKER_01 1:23

I thought I was gonna dread it, but um, I love astrology, tarot, um, I love all the woo-woo things, and I have hit my stride now and I've become a certified life coach.

SPEAKER_00 1:37

Okay, gotcha.

SPEAKER_01 1:39

Which I am loving, finding, you know, finally finding that thing that I'm like super passionate about.

SPEAKER_00 1:44

That you're gravitated to. Yeah, we all need to find that. Absolutely. And sometimes it happens early, sometimes it happens, you know, when you're cruise and never know. You never know. Correct.

SPEAKER_01 1:52

And like you talk about, you ask like what has gotten me here. And um it w the hot mess express is what's gotten me here.

SPEAKER_00 2:00

Yeah, well, we're gonna get into that. There's a lot to dive into for sure. No, I just okay, that's part. I think that's a good way to start for sure. So obviously, I want you to dive into first of all, how long have you been getting into life coaching now? Is it just started or I meant to ask you?

SPEAKER_01 2:12

So um I was certified two years ago.

SPEAKER_00 2:15

Okay, two years. Okay, gotcha. So you've been doing it for two years now. Okay, fair enough. So I guess let's get into the hot mess chapter. Let's start there. Let's start there. So looking back now, what what did the season, you know, you can get into kind of what made it the hot mess for you? Obviously, let's talk about before you got to where you're at now. Obviously, you just talked about you're happy for the the journey you're on now. Yes. But before it got to that point, let's break it down there. Like what what really kind of stirred the pot for you and uh what what really um was the big issues that you had to go through to get to the point you're at now?

SPEAKER_01 2:43

So, my you know, we everybody has like trauma in their lives, you know, and my big T trauma was um a surprise divorce.

SPEAKER_00 2:51

Okay. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 2:52

And a lot of people are like, How how can you be surprised by that? That's a good point.

SPEAKER_00 2:56

Yeah, that's a very good point.

SPEAKER_01 2:57

And you know, I was I thought I had the that white picket fence life. I mean, I did. I did. I had um at the time I was a stay-at-home mom. I had three kids under five years old. And um my my husband at the time, you know, decided to have an extramarital affair, and I just had the rug pulled out from under me.

SPEAKER_00 3:22

I understand. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 3:23

So finding like finding out that and you know, taking the next year to try to make it work and it just didn't work. You know, I had 10 years into this uh marriage.

SPEAKER_03 3:35

Yeah, that's it.

SPEAKER_01 3:35

And so like out of nowhere, my life was completely like just ripped the rug was ripped out. Yeah, 100%. Yeah. Yeah. It was crazy.

SPEAKER_00 3:46

So yeah, that's that's like so that's that obviously regardless, that was a tipping point, I'm sure. For you to where you had to just kind of just recycle everything and figure out where to go from there. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 3:55

I mean, uh it like my identity of who I was. It was like I I was no longer the wife, and now I'm like this single mom. And it's like I just had I went into uh survival mode. Yeah, hardly.

SPEAKER_00 4:07

You have to at that point. You got no choice. No, God bless you. No, that's that's awful. I'm just I don't wish that on anybody. But no, but the surprise aspect too, like you said, I mean uh obviously there's a lot of times where people kind of can feel divorce coming, like a lot of times it's you know, you can obviously kind of feel the tension there, and it you know, you see something like so you can kind of have an idea, but uh no, I think it's even it's better that way because I think you slowly you kind of uh gravitate to it, but when you get hit like a you know, like a train like that, it's even harder to react to it because you got no time to react.

SPEAKER_01 4:34

Because our relationship wasn't broken, it was it was him that was broken. Like he had he had some you know some really big internal demons that he was struggling to deal with. And I tried to help him as much as I could, but you know, when you're raising three little babies, it's yeah, it's kind of hard.

SPEAKER_00 4:53

Correct, correct. Yeah, time's not easy to just give away. I think that's a good thing. No, no, no. I completely, completely understand that. Um and then talking about survival mode, because we we brought that up uh a lot on this podcast with a lot of ladies we've had on. Um they were just talking about, you know, sometimes you don't even realize you're in it and you know, the whole problem. You don't and you're just it's like completely, you know, just shocks you one day and you're like, whoa, what the hell? You know, exactly. Can you maybe ta touch on that and maybe what was the moment for you that you realized you were actually in it? You know, how long did it take to realize you were in it?

SPEAKER_01 5:22

Whoa, it it took me a long time. And it's it's one of the things that I've struggled with um accepting because I was on the Hot Mess Express for a long time. Yeah, yeah. It was probably like Hot Mess Express 10 or 12 years. I was in this survival mode and I didn't even realize it.

SPEAKER_03 5:40

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 5:41

And the the thing for me that I finally realized uh that I was on survival mode, it's like a show.

SPEAKER_00 5:48

Yeah, no, fair enough. It should be, it should be.

SPEAKER_01 5:51

It should be was was finding out um what the law of attraction was.

SPEAKER_03 5:58

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 5:59

So when once I figured out what the law of attraction was, I was like, holy shit.

SPEAKER_00 6:05

Yeah, it changed everything for you. Yeah, fair enough. Fair enough.

SPEAKER_01 6:08

Because I was I was the one that was in my own way. And I was the one who was, you know, my own worst enemy. I was my own worst enemy.

SPEAKER_00 6:22

Like they always say, the hardest opponents in the mirror. Yeah, yeah. No, we all just sometimes can't get out of our own way, and that's the that's the hardest task. And we, like you said, we point it everywhere else and we look exterior, always on the exterior, but we never really think to ourselves, oh man, maybe it's uh something I'm doing. Exactly. But no, yeah, it takes some uh awareness, really. Yeah. Um I think that's what it boils down to. But um and I want to talk about patterns people don't recognize, you know, and I think that there's a lot of ways I can take this, but I feel like for me sometimes, like I get caught in the cycle, and I feel like a lot of people, like in your circle, sometimes can pick up on those those tails that you have, and there's tells that you have. And I think a lot of people struggle with that, and we all have tails that we sometimes don't recognize. Is there any tales for you that you have when you're kind of spiraling or having moments that are bad for you and you're in a bad moment that you kind of have picked up on in life that you kind of notice now that you kind of can fix quicker because you know can notice it quicker, if that makes sense?

SPEAKER_01 7:12

Yeah. And and that is that is the the thing in life is to be able to notice your patterns because it's not like we're never gonna do like the the bad things or the the things that aren't good for us ever again, you know. 100%.

SPEAKER_02 7:26

Yeah, we can't walk away from it.

SPEAKER_01 7:27

So it it's the goal is to recognize them and um you know, break the cycle. Um, I don't know. I think a lot of times it's just that negative spiraling, you know, when you get, you know, when something kind of like knocks you off course and you're just like it's that woe is me and it's that pity party.

SPEAKER_00 7:48

Yeah, the victim mentality. 100%.

SPEAKER_01 7:50

I can I can easily, you know, get into that mode and you're just like, shit, I don't want to be here. No, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 7:59

Yeah, you're just driving down a river and the waterfall's just going down. Yeah, and it's no, it's a bad cycle. It is. Like you said, and sometimes it can be that simple. Like sometimes it's not just a certain thing. I agree with you. I think sometimes it can just be something that just little that sets you off, and then you just it just flows, like it just continues going downhill. Um and that's just I think that's how it is for a lot of people, where it's not even just one thing, and that's what it's hard for people to notice that you know you get you get caught in it, and it really takes you a few or a few little things to add up until you're like, oh holy crap, man, something we gotta stop this ball from rolling here.

SPEAKER_01 8:27

It's that awareness and having that self-awareness is is a skill.

SPEAKER_00 8:31

It is, it is five, it's time, it takes a lot of time. I don't think you ever figure it fully out. And I think that's the biggest key that we all I always bring that up on here. We all search for the end or the time where everything's gonna be okay, like whether it's your job, you're whatever it is, where you're like, oh, I'm gonna have enough money or be retired, I don't have to do anything. It's just like, yeah, that might be the case. We're still gonna have other issues. You know, we always think that something's gonna be and something's gonna end and never end up. There's no destination. Yep, 100%.

SPEAKER_01 8:56

I mean, death is the destination.

SPEAKER_00 8:58

Yeah, sadly, in a sense, it is. It truly, truly is. You're not you're not wrong, Gary. Well said. But um, I want to talk about this too, because talking about um hustle versus alignment, um, I wanted to bring this up too, because I feel like this is something that we all kind of struggle with here. Because like we all deal with burnout, we all deal with stuff like that. And sometimes it's like, are we really going through pressure proven in hustle? What is that versus building one that fits who you really are? Because I feel like sometimes we just bury ourselves in in work and don't really we kind of just uh figure out that, oh, that's that's what I gotta do. That's what I gotta do. And we just push everything away. And it's like, how do we find a way to live in this world with the way that things are, the economy and everything, and still be ourselves without you know forcing ourselves to be something else?

SPEAKER_01 9:38

Yeah, our society, it's uh very focused on that hustle culture and it's almost like bred into everything around us, you know, work harder, do better, be you know, be amazing. Like do more, more, more. Like the this go go go. Yeah, this go-go culture. And if you're not like achieving something, then you're failing, you know, and it's it's exhausting.

SPEAKER_00 10:04

It is, it's draining, it is 100% as exhausting as heck.

SPEAKER_01 10:06

Yeah. Um so I prefer to come at life from a place of alignment. And this word is actually something that I've sort of struggled with for a while. And just this past fall, um, I finally came across a definition that made me feel good about the word because I love woo-woo things, but you know, the word alignment just felt like very woo-woo to me. Like, what does it mean?

SPEAKER_00 10:38

Kind of too broad, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 10:39

Yeah, people like use like throw it out there like, oh, I'm in alignment today. Like, like they're trying to sound like they, you know, know what they're talking about or something.

SPEAKER_03 10:49

That's fair.

SPEAKER_01 10:50

And Brennan Dr. Brene Brown can't has this uh definition, and I was listening to her podcast, and she said it, and I it almost made me, I almost had to like pull over so I could like write it down because it was such a lightful moment for me. That alignment is when your priorities and your actions match. And I was like, that is so simple and so spot on at the same time. Because how how often do we actually sit down and think about our priorities in life?

SPEAKER_03 11:25

Yeah, no, I agree with that.

SPEAKER_01 11:26

A lot of times we're just floating through life, just you know, winging it, which, you know, has its purpose.

SPEAKER_03 11:32

Correct.

SPEAKER_01 11:33

But if you think about your priorities, like what's really important to you, and then you think about the actions that will support those priorities, that's alignment.

SPEAKER_03 11:43

Correct.

SPEAKER_01 11:44

And then you can operate from a place of flow and peace, and it's just it makes life feel so much better.

SPEAKER_00 11:52

No, yeah, you're 100% right. It's like we're we're battling a pendulum all day. I mean, in our head sometimes. We're like battling a it's kind of a magnet, like a negative and a positive, where we're just trying to find that alignment, that balance, or whatever you want to call it. And uh we're just kind of fighting it all day when sometimes it's supposed to be even, it's supposed to go with it, and uh sometimes we tend to not let it. Uh but no, when it's when it feels when you find it, like for uh me, I always bring up to just being a good person. That's what I always bring it to. Like if I'm I'm happy, if I'm doing something where I'm just being a good person, putting in good energy into the world, that's that's truly what matters, and hopefully the rest will take care of itself. Yeah. And to me, it's that's kind of where I view alignment, and I agree with that though. But I think it's like you said, you have to find what makes you happy, what fulfills you and your purpose and your energy, and put that off, and then usually the rest of it will take care of itself. And that's that's easier said than done. But once you do have that core value, like I always say too, like when you have good morals and good um principles about you, you tend to not have anything to worry about because you're not doing anything wrong. You know what I mean? That's one of the things I always remind people of. When you do something, when you live by good principles and morals, you tend to not have much regret because there's nothing to regret.

SPEAKER_01 12:55

And I love that you're talking about energy, because you know, and then I'll take this back a little bit to the law of attraction. Like the law of attraction basically is you know, what you put out is what you're gonna get back in the world. And you know, when I was on the Hot Mess Express, like if I'm putting out this um chaotic and um emotionally unavailable energy, then you know, I get douchebags and drama back into my life. And so that's when I realized that I was the problem.

SPEAKER_00 13:28

Yeah, yeah. We are what we're around too.

SPEAKER_01 13:30

I had to change my energy to be something more of what I wanted to receive back.

SPEAKER_00 13:36

Yeah, yeah. Well said. No, it's that's something it's it's that simple. It is, it truly is. And I I hate saying that because people are like watch something, they're like, wait, hey, come on, like it can't be that and you break it down more, but it's like, no, it is, it is, it truly is a hundred percent. Sometimes things can be that simple, and we've sometimes just overcomplicate things. That's like we overthink everything, we overcomplicate things, but sometimes if we dumb it down and simplify it, like what was that old book I remember when I was a kid? Uh what was it? Like they always made that uh for dummies. It's a book for dummies, like something like that. We all sometimes we need to dumb stuff down instead of um overcomplicate it.

unknown 14:06

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 14:07

But uh and uh I want to talk about this. When life forces you to pivot, how do you kind of reinvent yourself without feeling like you're abandoning the person you used to be? Because I feel like you know, sometimes we all talk about becoming a new person. I had a podcast recently we talked about becoming a new you or whatever, but yeah, it's not even about being a new you. I think it's just embodying a new cycle of life in a sense. But maybe can you talk on that about when the pivot comes to where it's not really maybe you're changing yourself, but just kind of on a pivot to change the direction of yourself?

SPEAKER_01 14:31

It's it's interesting that we're talking about this because I looking back, I have had to pivot so many times in my life, and it's usually not my choice. Yeah, fair enough.

SPEAKER_03 14:42

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 14:43

But um when it comes down to it, and it's just about owning who you are and working within like who you are. If if life throws you a curveball, which it does, just you know, maintain that core, like that who you are and just go with it. Because again, if you're putting out unauthenticity, then that's what you're gonna get back.

SPEAKER_00 15:16

Correct.

SPEAKER_01 15:16

So, you know, embrace the pivot and just be you.

SPEAKER_00 15:20

Yeah, 100%, 100%. And we're all sometimes scared to do that. That's the hardest part in this world. It's like that's what I always try to tell everybody when you be yourself, and like you said, it could create so much less stress in your life too, where you're not trying to overthink things, you're not trying to be something you're not, and you can just live, like you said, begin to a flow state almost because you're just yourself and uh there's nothing.

SPEAKER_01 15:39

It is it is scary, it is. Um, but I've also learned that vulnerability is a superpower.

SPEAKER_00 15:48

A hundred percent. Well said.

SPEAKER_01 15:50

Well said it's it's it's a superpower, and you know, being vulnerable is actually like an attracting force because you know, when somebody sees you being vulnerable, then they feel safe being vulnerable with you. And it just it creates this.

SPEAKER_00 16:07

It's a great cycle. We all should do that. 100%. That's that's what we do in this pocket. Like I said, I'm always open and honest, and we all should be, because it's it helps others. Like we should all want to share our story, share our journey, share our perspectives to hopefully, even if it doesn't work for someone else, hopefully they can gain something from it to use that and help them in some way.

SPEAKER_02 16:24

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 16:25

And that's that's all we can do. No, but I I agree. I I couldn't agree more with that. Um I wanted to talk about this grounded manifestation. You talk about manifestation in a real practical way. What does manifestation actually look like when it's rooted in awareness, energy, and action instead of just fluff? Because I think a manifestation gets obviously we talk about that a lot. It gets really twisted in a lot of ways. And I think a lot of people miss uh take it in the wrong way sometimes. But can you go ahead and you talk about how you utilize manifestation in your life?

SPEAKER_01 16:52

Yeah. So manifestation is something that has become a really big part of my life. Um I actually have uh taken courses, read books. I actually uh have a manifestation coach.

SPEAKER_00 17:03

Oh wow, how about that? Okay, okay.

SPEAKER_01 17:05

Um because it's something that I want it to become like a practice in my life.

SPEAKER_03 17:12

Yeah, fair enough.

SPEAKER_01 17:13

And life is practice in general.

SPEAKER_03 17:15

100%.

SPEAKER_01 17:16

So throughout all of that, I've created or I've boiled it down to like three core principles. Okay. To because manifestation is woo-woo, and people are like, Well, how do you do it? Because a lot of people want an instruction manual. And I and I get it.

SPEAKER_00 17:33

And we all want the food recipe, it's like how do we how many do you have to do it? How do I do this exactly?

SPEAKER_01 17:38

How many that so and I love breaking things down for people to make them simple and usable. So core principle number one is you have to have clarity.

SPEAKER_03 17:49

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 17:49

Like you have to really get to the core of what you're asking for in life from the universe, from God, whoever your higher power is. Because you can, you know, manifest on all different levels.

SPEAKER_03 18:02

Correct, correct.

SPEAKER_01 18:03

So you have to really be clear on what it is you're asking for and what you want. So that that takes a little bit of a deep dive.

SPEAKER_03 18:13

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 18:13

You kind of like need to really sit down and and know yourself and understand what it is that you want.

SPEAKER_00 18:18

It's not just the shiny car or the big bank account or yeah, it's a very social media movie style people think that's correct. I agree with that.

SPEAKER_01 18:27

Um, and then the second step is an unexpected one, but you have to be able to receive.

SPEAKER_00 18:34

I like that.

SPEAKER_01 18:35

So you as a person, you are a vessel. And if you know the universe is going to manifest something for you, you have to be able to hold it.

SPEAKER_03 18:45

Correct.

SPEAKER_01 18:46

So you need to be like a healed, healthy, emotionally available person. To hold the manifestations that you're asking for. So, like, if you're asking for more money, you can't have bad spending habits. Like, if you're asking for, you know, the love of your life, you can't be emotionally unavailable. So you you have to be that vessel to hold the manifestation that you're asking for. And then the last one is one that I'm still working on. Okay. But it's we're honest here. That's right.

SPEAKER_00 19:19

That's right.

SPEAKER_01 19:20

Having faith and letting go.

SPEAKER_00 19:22

Okay. Okay. Yeah, I agree with that. We talk about that a lot on this podcast, the letting go aspect, 100%.

SPEAKER_01 19:28

You cannot micromanage your manifestations. Well said.

SPEAKER_00 19:32

Well said.

SPEAKER_01 19:33

So and this is this is the thing that like I'm like s that I struggle with is like it's the timing. You cannot like demand your manifestations to come at a certain time, in a certain way, at a certain speed. Like it's you have to have faith in your higher power and you have to let go of even what the outcome looks like. Because you know, your higher power knows what's best for you. And it might not be exactly what you're asking for.

SPEAKER_03 20:04

Correct.

SPEAKER_01 20:05

So if if you're asking for the career of your dreams and you think it's supposed to be in one way, but you have to be open to allowing something else, maybe even better, into your life.

SPEAKER_00 20:19

No, very good point. And I think the key is what you were saying there too, is about it's not always on our timetable. And that's what we bring up too, you know, is like you said, it's sometimes it's that alignment part, sometimes it doesn't. Stars don't align when we expect them to. You know what I mean? And things don't always happen the second we think they and and to be fair, that's a lot of our expectations and the way the world's set to where we want instant gratification, to where everybody just they don't get it in two days, they're like, what in the you know, it goes back. I always hate to bring this up, it goes back to stuff with losing weight or anything. Everybody wants that, take a pill instead of just going. It's we all look for the quick fix in anything. And it's like if we all could just look a little deeper and look for a little more long-term solution uh to things, it would it would change a lot. But I do think that was that's key too to me, where I always bring up the alignment part because and the timing, because I think a lot of times we all just stray away from our ideas or whatever we're on or or journey that we're on just because it doesn't happen in the time that we're searching for it. And sometimes it's just it doesn't always happen like that. You know, and that's the key to I think and I I struggle with that for a while. That's why I bring that up, because I I did for a while. I always struggled with that. I was just like, man, what the heck? Like why we all do that. We're like, why why does it take so long? And you realize, you know, sometimes we we don't it's not up to us, you know. And and at the end of the day, you just have to go with the flow and accept it. Like you said, let it go. And then you get to that point and it becomes peaceful. And I think eventually you find contentment in that. And it just takes time.

SPEAKER_01 21:35

But well, and sometimes if if the journey is taking a little bit longer than you would like, then maybe that's the universe is telling you something that maybe there's something that you still need to learn.

SPEAKER_03 21:47

100%.

SPEAKER_01 21:48

Because, you know, a lot of a lot of your manifestations it's about the journey, anyways. So the the trick in, you know, waiting for your manifestations is just to be present.

SPEAKER_00 22:00

100%. In the moment. In the moment. Yep. I agree.

SPEAKER_01 22:04

Because every moment of every day is a is a gift. And I know that's easy to say when things are are going pretty good.

SPEAKER_03 22:13

Correct, correct.

SPEAKER_01 22:15

When life sucks, it's hard to be in the moment. Hundred percent.

SPEAKER_00 22:18

And we're not gonna sugarcoat that. It is. It's a like you said, it's a it's a journey, and sometimes it's being as okay with the good as we are with the bad. I think that's the test, the ultimate task to have the perspective of when it's bad to still view it. That's why I always try to bring it to a game. Like I always try to like from I'm told you I'm a UPS driver, and I always treat things like a game and uh to make it fun. You have to find a way to make things appeasing to you during the day, even if they're not. And I feel like that's the trick too to your mind. It's not that you're making it a not reality, not like you're living in la la land, but as in your tricking yourself to still be in the moment, still be in what you're doing, but find a way to deal with it in a good positive way instead of be mad at it. You know, and I think the more we do that, the better things are.

SPEAKER_01 22:57

Well, that's um I mean that's gratitude in general. And gratitude is a really cool practice, um, especially for when you're trying to help your mindset.

SPEAKER_03 23:10

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 23:10

Because, you know, mindset is your energy, and your energy is what you're putting out into the universe, and you know, all law of attraction, everything.

SPEAKER_00 23:17

It all goes in hand in hand.

SPEAKER_01 23:18

And uh recently I was working with my my sister. Um, she was struggling through um a career change.

SPEAKER_03 23:25

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 23:26

And I was like, all right, let's let's try this. Because I love gratitude is like this thing right now. Everybody's like, oh, be grateful, be grateful, be grateful. And I was like, Yes, I get it. But it's kind of surface level when you're like, oh, I'm grateful for my house or my dog or the food on my table, blah, blah, blah. Let's so with my sister, I was like, let's try being grateful for the hard things. So intentionally finding gratitude in in her career at the time. So every day we would list three things, and you know, I had my thing I was struggling with. So we would list three things of the thing that was hard.

SPEAKER_03 24:08

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 24:09

So this is training your brain to find the good things in the bad situation.

SPEAKER_00 24:14

100%. That's a good point. I know, I like that. That's smart. No, yeah, and like that's a very good way to look at that. Yeah, because we all do vent immediately go for gratitude, like, oh yeah, thankful for my family. I'm thinking all the things that we're, yeah, obviously we know and we're certain of, but it's like, yeah, we never tend to, yeah, I'm grateful for uh having to go take the trash out. You know, like it just certainly that sounds a stupid one, but you know, you get what I mean, the things we don't really bring up. That's a very good point. I think the we don't really even train our mind or tell ourselves to do that. So that makes complete sense. I think that's a good practice for anybody to do, honestly, because I don't think anybody really does that that much at all. And if they do, I'm sure we could do it more.

SPEAKER_01 24:48

Yeah. And to bring that back to uh manifestation, like if you're training your brain to find the positives in a negative situation, then you know the universe responds to that positive energy. So it's it it all works.

SPEAKER_00 25:04

No, just put it out. No, that's what we say here, just put out good energy and hopefully uh that's all we can do. And that's that's all long as we're doing that, we're doing our part. Yeah, the rest that's all we can control. We can only control what we can control. Yeah. But um and I want to talk about this too, choosing yourself without guilt. How do you choose yourself when guilt immediately shows up and tells you you're doing something wrong? Because I feel like sometimes, you know, we all want to do something or say like we're in our job and uh we want to just take a date ourselves or something, and we almost feel that guilt creep in. It's like, oh, you know, do I I should go to work right now? But it's like, how do you kind of weigh that balance between when do you have to kind of stand up for yourself and do something for yourself, or how do you how do you kind of weigh with that?

SPEAKER_01 25:41

Yeah, I mean that's that I think that's something that everybody still uh struggles with.

SPEAKER_03 25:47

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 25:47

Uh especially for me as a mom, there's definitely mom guilt.

SPEAKER_03 25:50

For sure, for sure.

SPEAKER_01 25:52

Um but giving your the per giving yourself the permission to not feel selfish for doing something for yourself is is very freeing. Yeah. And it's just it's just something that you have to practice at. It's not something that is gonna feel right. No, like the first time you do it, the second time you do it, the tenth time you do it. It's just you know, it's something that you're gonna have to feel, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 26:22

Right.

SPEAKER_01 26:24

Um but in general, like you know, neuroscience, you know, you've got these pathways in your brain. And you know, if you want to rewrite a pathway, it takes time, it takes practice. So it it's just something that you you're gonna have to practice.

SPEAKER_00 26:39

No, yeah, it's just it's not one thing you can tell yourself. I agree. I think we all convince ourselves that you know that we can just tell ourselves something and uh work, but obviously you say it's just a process of doing it.

SPEAKER_01 26:49

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 26:50

But uh no, I agree. And I think we all struggle with that. It's uh and it's sometimes just not being so hard on yourself is the other part of it. I think it's just simple as that sometimes. Sometimes we're so and uh one thing I always my dad always says this to me, he's like, you know, sometimes we need to treat ourselves like we would our best friend, you know, and sometimes we forget that, you know, and we really do. Just would you tell your best friend, you know, to suck it up or whatever? Probably not, you know. So you might it depends on the situation, but you get what I beat. So we sometimes need to treat ourselves as we would our you know, best friend or our significant significant other.

SPEAKER_02 27:16

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 27:17

Um but I think that's a reminder too. But I want to talk on this too about hitting your stride later in life. So obviously we're approaching now. We're uh approaching where you're at now. So hitting your stride later in life for you. Um what would you say for people out there that feel like it's almost too late for them to kind of figure it out or fix what they're going through? Um what would be your first uh kind of to tell them that it's not too late, you know, we gotta figure something out regardless of where you're at.

SPEAKER_01 27:40

I mean, Martha Stewart didn't start her uh career. Like you know, the Martha Stewart that we know now, she didn't start that until I think she was in her early 50s.

SPEAKER_00 27:50

How about I didn't know that? How about that? Yeah. I did not know that.

SPEAKER_01 27:53

There's there's plenty of um women uh like Vera Wang, she's a dress designer, she didn't start until later in life. Like it's there is this societal construct that at a certain age, um you just you're done.

SPEAKER_00 28:10

Yeah, it's kind of like the athletes, you know, once you get 40, you're done. Exactly.

SPEAKER_01 28:14

Tom Brady showed us wrong. Yeah, yeah, that's right. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 28:17

Sorry, 45, 45.

SPEAKER_01 28:18

Right. But it's you know, I started I kind of started this career pivot um in my early 40s. Okay. And I struggled with that exact con uh concept. I was like, what right do I have to start over in my early 40s?

SPEAKER_00 28:35

I thought I was like, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 28:38

And it was just and that was one of the first things. Um I had a I had a coach at that time that she was like, all right, we gotta, we gotta, we gotta fix this because this mindset is A, it's not gonna serve you. And B, it's completely wrong. I mean, we we are living much longer. Like we're living into our 80s, 90s, hundreds. Who knows the technology, yeah. Exactly. Like you're you're living for a long time. So you are you are not done at 40s and 50s.

SPEAKER_00 29:09

Well said. You know? Yeah, before all we know, they could freeze us. We could live for who knows.

SPEAKER_01 29:14

Yeah, exactly. But a lot of people are starting over in their career in midlife, they're starting over in their marriages in in their love life in midlife. Like there's there's no time limit anymore.

SPEAKER_00 29:28

Yes, that's a good, very good point. Yes. Yeah. I think, yeah, and that's the whole key. I think we all put a timestamp on everything. For example, like you gotta be married by this time, you gotta be have a kid by here. You know, it's like why? We there's no it's different for everybody, just like age is age is always a number to me. Like I said, some people are wise beyond your year, some people are you know, wherever you are. You know, some people that are 21 are wiser than a 35-year-old, some you know, so I think age is a number, you know, so you never know, and vice versa. So obviously I always bring that up too. But like, yeah, like you said, we we don't know when the end is, and all we can do is just do what we're doing now. And it goes back to it doesn't matter what time you're at or when it is, just make that shift, do it, you know, and do it. I think we all just s get so stuck in that stereotype of that it's gotta, you know, be a certain timetable. And I think we all live in a like you said, the expectation of, you know, like I think most people realistically in their head think they're gonna live till their seventies or eighties. And it's like we think that, but it's like we don't know. I could be extended, that could be less, but it's like just make that shift now. We don't none of us know if it's the right time or right now. We don't know. All we can do is just act on it, you know, and that's the key. And that goes back to the manifestation. We can talk all these things. That's why we say we can say everything, but at the end of the day, if we don't act on it, it don't mean anything. It don't mean anything.

SPEAKER_01 30:35

But imposter syndrome is is for real. Like it um it actually almost got me. So, like in the middle of my journey to becoming a coach, um I stopped.

SPEAKER_03 30:47

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 30:48

Because in the middle of my certification, I, you know, there was a time where you have to start actually practicing on real people. You can't just read the textbooks and talk about it. You actually have to practice to get your credentials. And I got so caught up in imposter syndrome that I actually stopped.

SPEAKER_03 31:09

Really?

SPEAKER_01 31:10

Yeah. I couldn't do it. I was like, what what right did I have to tell people anything?

SPEAKER_03 31:17

No, fair enough. You know, and I it was a good point.

SPEAKER_01 31:20

It was very um it was really hard to get past that. Yeah, but that's a very good point. So I paused for like a couple years and then I f I finally went back to it and I was like, this is this is my calling. Like I know that my value is is more than you know, just a piece of paper or a certification. So I'm I'm just like, I gotta do this.

SPEAKER_00 31:45

So I respect that.

SPEAKER_01 31:47

You just have to be brave.

SPEAKER_00 31:48

No, I respect what you say. That's a good point. That's a very good point. I feel like especially depending on type of person your personality have. I could see a lot of people, that's one thing I didn't really ask you. That's a good point. Um, about struggling with thinking about how do you how do you get the con not even confidence really, but the yeah, the feel to feel that you have the validation to almost teach somebody else how to live their life. I that's a good point. Because like I think it's hard to get to the point. I think it's just almost a perspective where you're not even telling them, it's just you're giving advice. Like obviously I don't know how you view it, but I always try to say like no matter what I always say, you still have to do it. You know what I mean? So like at the end of the day, uh we can only say so much and do so much for someone. You know, that's why I always try to remind myself, like, for example, I would want to help everybody. I would do anything to help someone. But at the end of the day, we can only do so much. We can only stretch ourselves so far. Yeah. And uh, you know, at the end of the day, if somebody doesn't willing to do the things that are, you know, needed to get to that point, that's that's on that's we can't only do that. We can't do that for them. Yeah. So I guess my question to you is I want to ask, is as a coach, when you're in in kind of in that situation where somebody's you know really needing that help, but they're kind of not putting the the work towards it, how do you kind of view that and how do you try to, you know, get them going and get them kind of uh moving, get that ball rolling to get them kind of getting those actions.

SPEAKER_01 32:59

Yeah. So um you have to figure out what's blocking them.

SPEAKER_03 33:04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 33:05

So there's a resistance there. Cause, you know, and I have a client right now, and she's very good in our sessions, but then in between our sessions, it's like she stalls.

SPEAKER_03 33:19

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 33:19

And so we've been talking recently um about where the resistance is coming from. So a lot of times that stems from, you know, fear, you know, fear of failure, fear of success, um, the imposter syndrome. So it it's about finding the specific block that's that's holding you back.

SPEAKER_03 33:39

Right.

SPEAKER_01 33:40

And so, yeah, that's obviously it's gonna be specific to everybody. You know, as a coach, um I don't want to like give her the answer. So it's my job to ask to ask the right questions. Okay. You know, so you know, my clients um have those beautiful aha moments all to themselves. Okay, fair.

SPEAKER_00 34:03

No, I like that. That's a good way to put it. No, I think that's the perspective too, where it's like you almost kind of let them eat on it and manifest on it, and then you know, let them kind of work with what you give them instead of forcing it down their throat in a sense. Because I think that's what a lot of people I feel like with life coaching, we're all getting that hit in our head a stereotypical, like where you're at a personal trainer, like screaming, I do this, do that. It's not that way, you know what I mean? I think it's uh very depicted in a different way where you're you're really just giving, I think, advice and helping someone instead of just uh getting that stereotypical. It's not someone just down here start yelling at you, hey, do this.

SPEAKER_01 34:32

I'm there to to bring it out of you. You know, there's you're not broken. Like people uh we're not broken. It's just finding ways to help you help yourself.

SPEAKER_00 34:45

Yeah, like that.

SPEAKER_01 34:45

And to bring out your best self. Yes. Very good point.

SPEAKER_00 34:49

Very good point. As long as we can uh help ourselves while we're helping everybody else, we're doing our part. We're doing our part. I couldn't agree more with that. So is there anything that before we wrap up, is there anything that you want to bring up that we didn't bring up?

SPEAKER_01 35:00

Um in general, I love I love your what was it, the ELE? E. L.

SPEAKER_00 35:04

It's not I always say I that's I've said that since a kid, but it's actually from a movie I can't take credit from it, semi pro from Will Farrell. It's like a real old movie, a basketball movie. It's probably like I want to say 2006 or something, but uh it was just a little slogan. He basically s story of that is he was just on a bus and he was everybody's arguing, he goes, ELE, everybody love everybody. We got 11 more hours to go. Peace, love. And it's like it's kind of a funny scene, but I've always embodied that message. I just think that's something that I've always stood by and lived by since I was a kid and watched that.

SPEAKER_01 35:29

But well when I when I heard you say that, it it couldn't help me uh but think about a quote that I was raised on.

SPEAKER_03 35:35

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 35:36

So my parents always told me to uh do unto others as you would have done unto you. So and I'm even more into this quote now because I feel like that's very representative of the law of attraction. So do unto others as you would have done unto you. And if everybody followed that, this world would be a much happier place.

SPEAKER_00 35:59

I couldn't agree more with that. That's why we did like you said, that's uh we all we have to do is try to put out good energy, treat people right, like you said, treat everybody how we want to be treated, and just do our part and spread love, spread kindness and forgiveness, and you know, try to try to be that good light. I always say the stupid same thing I say all the time when people hate me on this podcast say it. But I always say we're all like fireflies. I always say. And if we all were lit up and had good energy, the world would be lit up. Yeah. You know, and we all need to try to have that spirit and be lit up every day and have influence others to want to be positive as well. And the more we do that, hopefully others want to do that as well.

SPEAKER_02 36:30

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 36:30

That's all we can do. That's all we can do. I appreciate that's true. I I couldn't agree more with that message. That's all we try to do here is just try to uplift people and know that people aren't alone. You know, we'd be vulnerable, like you were saying, that's a it is a superpower. It is. We need to utilize it more. We need to talk more things that are stereotypical and that need to get, you know, discussed more and uh downplay these things and really dumb them down sometimes, simplify things for people to really understand and get behind. And sometimes life isn't as uh overcomplicated as it is, and we think it is. It's sometimes it's very simple, and sometimes it's just we always bring up going out in nature, just looking into the world and seeing the world for what it is.

SPEAKER_02 37:03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 37:03

And sometimes just simplifying things of that, just go out and we'll walk in nature for two hours. Sometimes that'd be the most peaceful uh meditation you ever have in this world right now. But uh it's the simple things. But no, I appreciate your aura and your perspective and uh approach to everything. I truly do, and I I I'm sure you're helping a lot of people with your coaching, and I hope you continue to do that. Yes, and that's all we can do is try to find something that whether it's in your 50s, your twenties, your eighties, that uh makes you happy, and hopefully you can help others when you're doing that. And that's that's that's that's all we can do. And uh we're all doing our part if we're doing that.

SPEAKER_01 37:35

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 37:35

But uh, thank you so much for joining us. It was an absolute pleasure to meet you.

SPEAKER_01 37:38

Thank you.

SPEAKER_00 37:39

Thank you, absolutely. And uh thank you everybody that watches. Like and subscribe if you haven't already. And uh, this was our special guest, Naomi Kreske. She was awesome, thank you so much. And uh thank you everybody that listens, ELE. As we always say, everybody love everybody. Let's try to do our part and make this world a better place. Spread love, spread kindness and forgiveness, and hopefully we're doing our part over here to hopefully influence others to want to do that as well. And we will see you again next Wednesday. This is Who's Even Listening Podcast, season two, episode number 49, um, on the mental medicine channel. And this is the mental medicine crew signing off.