074 - Unlocking Potential: The Journey of Coaching with Don Fries

In this heartfelt and insightful conversation, John Marshall sits down with Humessence coach, mentor, and dear friend Don Fries to explore the deeper dimensions of coaching and leadership development. Drawing from a 38-year career in the oil and gas industry and his journey into executive and retirement coaching, Don shares how leaders can build self-awareness, embrace vulnerability, and stop getting in their own way. The conversation dives into the power of shifting from "I need to" to "I want to," the importance of values-based coaching, and a practical framework — the Control, Influence, and Accept model — that helps leaders reclaim their time, priorities, and presence. A rich and authentic episode for anyone looking to lead more intentionally and live more fully.

Connect with Don Fries: Website

Takeaways

• Self-awareness is the starting point for meaningful leadership growth.
• Shifting from "I need to change" to "I want to change" transforms motivation and accountability.
• Values-based coaching helps clients align their actions with what matters most to them.
• Leaders who share their development goals create psychological safety for their entire team.
• Vulnerability is not weakness — it is one of the most powerful leadership tools available.
• The Control, Influence, Accept model is a practical framework for managing overwhelm and reclaiming priorities.
• Saying yes to everything means silently saying no to yourself, your team, or your strategy.
• You cannot change people against their will — you can only influence their will to change by doing work on yourself.
• Consistency in small habits is far more powerful than intensity or duration.
• Being truly present is one of the greatest gifts a leader can offer their team.

Visit The Present Professional webpage on humessence.com and learn more about how we support leadership development and culture enablement at growth-stage organizations.

Thank you for listening.

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Transcript

John Marshall (00:32)
Welcome to another episode of the present professional. Today we have a special guest with us, special to me and to Humessence. So Humessence coach, Don Fries, not coach, but also my mentor, also a great friend and someone that has a lot of great insights into everything that we've created here at Humessence really from the beginning. So, you know, one, I just want to express.

You know, my gratitude to you, Don as well for being, part of this whole journey. And I'm really excited for all the listeners to be able to get to know you a little bit better today.

Don Fries (01:09)
John, I appreciate that. Yeah, thank you for the intro. The feeling's certainly mutual. I certainly believe in you and what you're doing at Humessence and look forward to sharing some time with you and your audience.

John Marshall (01:21)
Awesome. Awesome. I appreciate that. So Don, tell the listeners a little bit more about, say you're kind of one minute autobiography here about what's gotten you to, to this point. And, what's helped you launch into this part of your career as a coach.

Don Fries (01:40)
Now, great question. Appreciate that, John. I'll try to keep it to a minute, but I think it starts, you know, very fortunate to grow up with a mom and dad who was always very supportive. Grew up in a small town in New Jersey that lived in the same house. Literally, I came home from the hospital until I left for college. So very stable kind of environment, small town feel, you know, no one locked their doors. Everybody was, you know,

John Marshall (01:44)
Yeah

Don Fries (02:04)
very friendly and connected. And as an only child, that was a great way for me to kind of explore the world outside my own home. know, good foundation, got a chance to go pursue my passions in school. Got a chance to have a 38 year professional career in the oil and gas industry. Started out as an engineer, did a lot of engineering type of stuff. I love to see how things got from point A to point B.

But throughout that journey, got a chance to work in sales and marketing, got a chance to work on some corporate projects, got a chance to work in recruiting and diversity and inclusion and things like that. So even though background was engineering, the experiences were widespread, both domestically and internationally. What I found as I went through it, and I think it just crystallized more, is that I always loved working with people.

I always love learning from others and I always love trying to help others get the best out of themselves. So, as I progressed through those 38 years, the closer and closer I got to starting that next chapter, which we'll call retirement or whatever was, how can I continue that journey moving forward? And coaching just made a lot of sense. and, ⁓ really became kind of my passion, service is one of my five values and,

I do look at coaching as a service. You know, I do focus in kind of the leadership executive coaching space, but I also focus on retirement coaching. So I do work with folks that are either considering retirement or in retirement, not so much the financial piece, but you know, what's next, how to feel valued, how to do the things you've always wanted to do, but maybe don't know how. ⁓ somewhat self-serving because I was going through the same thing. So I found.

John Marshall (03:41)
Hmm.

Don Fries (03:46)
a network of kind of a support group to do that, but that's really what drove me to coaching is that if I can help others, better find their way, better engage, get unstuck, find their passions, and get the most out of themselves and feel good about that. That's really what the driver is. So that's what drove me to coaching.

John Marshall (04:03)
Wow. It's such a natural fit for, know, who I know you to be just as a, as a human as well. that's, sounds like it was just a natural progression for you that. And, and with that, it sounds like your, your clients are getting to experience that as well. This kind of authenticity in you. No. Yeah.

Don Fries (04:14)
Yeah, I appreciate that. Appreciate that, yeah.

That's what I hope that's

what comes across. And, you know, as you know, the beauty of coaching is trying to create a conscious awareness with your clients. But that connection is so important. how do you build the trust where, you nowadays everything's virtual? So, how do you make people feel comfortable with a little bit of discomfort, challenging the status quo, trying to get them to maybe do things differently than they thought, or even think that they...

John Marshall (04:43)
Yep.

Don Fries (04:47)
they could do something different. hopefully setting an environment where people feel comfortable is really what I'm trying to do in that space and then kind of follow them on their journey as opposed to lead them on a journey that I think they ought to be going on. So which is.

John Marshall (05:03)
Coaching fundamentals right there.

Don Fries (05:05)
Yeah, yeah.

but true believer in why that's important, absolutely.

John Marshall (05:11)
I,

I agree. I agree. And I know you talked a little bit before about the interest in, and you're growing interest in positive psychology and you'll, you'll find in that, that, the reason why behind some of these coaching fundamentals and how that supports motivation and stuff. I'm, excited for you to continue diving into that as well.

Don Fries (05:34)
Yeah, I'm a big brain science junkie and do fully believe that while our brains are such a special gift, they also can be an impediment to finding the joy that we're looking for in life and achieving those things that we find are important to us just to try to get the negativity bias out. So giving people the chance and the thought that things might turn out differently if they're willing to give it a try, turn that.

fear and the courage. and it doesn't have to be the big swing to hit the home run, but it may be a couple of small steps that helped give us the confidence that, you know, we can, you know, to quote, Brene Brown, dare greatly, you know, move forward in, in a very positive sense and, feel good about the potential.

John Marshall (05:59)
Hmm.

Well said. And something about that sticks out to me is the how we get in our own way, right? Our brains and our intentions, like wanting to do well, wanting to help people, wanting to be successful.

Don Fries (06:24)
Yeah.

Yeah.

John Marshall (06:34)
that can ultimately lead us into behaviors that might not support what we actually want to accomplish. So, you know.

Don Fries (06:42)
Yeah, absolutely. Absolutely. think

a very big part of it and a lot of the clients I work with, I really start with values work. And I know you know how important that is, but to just have a sense of what's important to you. A couple of things, not a hundred things necessarily, but just as a check-in to say, Hey, if I go down this path, how well does this support the values that then the things that I hold dear? A lot easier to be successful, significant, if you're doing things that really support what you believe in.

John Marshall (06:47)
Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

Don Fries (07:08)
as opposed to trying to do things that are in conflict with that. So that awareness is, I think, really important and I find very helpful in the clients that I work with.

John Marshall (07:12)
Yep.

Right. was going to be closely aligned with where my next question is going is, what are some of the key ways that you see clients getting in their own way?

Don Fries (07:30)
yeah, great question. and what's, what's interesting, I've been doing this long enough, that I see a lot more commonalities in people, than I do differences, at all levels of organizations, at least on the professional side of things. You know, everybody wrestles with how do I get along with my boss? how do I get my work done? How do I lead my teams?

How do I mesh that all in with the personal life and things like that? All the themes are really very similar. So a lot of it is to people to recognize they're not alone, that this is not their own individual fight, that there are a lot of other people trying to do the same thing. And that, if they can pick and choose those one or two things, it's the eating the elephant analogy about.

You know, one small bite at a time is the most effective way. So if you can avoid the overwhelm of looking at the end game that you envision that you want to be, and you figure out some steps that can test to see is it truly overwhelming or not, that's usually where we try to go. So it's, it's really, I think we talked, we've talked previously, I started to adopt the saying about simplify, but amplify. So.

bit more focused on some key things you control and try to get the most out of that activity, most out of that action. To hopefully give you the confidence to continue to move forward. So I think that's interesting thing with lot of clients is to recognize that just trying something. If it doesn't work, okay, that's fine. If there's something, getting clients to say, I really want to do this, instead of saying that, saying I'm...

You know, instead of needing to this, I want to do this. How do you take that, that approach of, ⁓ of saying, know, I need to do something, which is very heavy and weighty to, really want to do it. How do you create some excitement and energy to make that happen? So that's a big part of how I coach with my folks is, you know, how, instead of what's the worst thing that can happen, you know, the question, what's the best thing that could happen. And just, and that, again, that's a brain trick around.

John Marshall (09:19)
Mm-hmm.

Don Fries (09:22)
trying to minimize the negativity bias that's just natural in all of us.

John Marshall (09:27)
Yep. Yep. Amplifying the positive. And, one thing that, that comes up for me through what we're just talking about right there is, when a lot of clients come to, especially in, leaders and corporate environment is like come to coaching, like based off of right developmental feedback, right? This,

Don Fries (09:30)
Yeah.

John Marshall (09:49)
360 assessment or my boss says I needed to improve X, Y, Z and my individual development plan. The 360 came back in with ABC, you know, so like you said, you know, I need to change X, Y, Z in order to meet ABC standard. Right. And that like that slight shift in language that you just mentioned from like, need to change this to I want.

Don Fries (09:59)
All

John Marshall (10:14)
to become whatever that might be is like, while simple in language is really profound and thought. And I feel like that is, you know, I just wanted to point that out as not just a simple shift in language, but that is a whole different shift in motivation, right? That's the carrot and stick versus, you know, in internal drive to want to become. So it's like finding that

Don Fries (10:16)
this. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Hmm

Yeah.

John Marshall (10:41)
reason,

whether it's values or connected to something more important to them intrinsically is going to help them bring on those behavior, like take those small actions that you're talking about. Right.

Don Fries (10:52)
Yeah. Yeah. It shifts the account. It shifts the accountability

because when we say we need something, it's usually because it's something that's being imposed on us, or at least we feel it's being imposed on us. When we want to, it's actually us taking control of a situation for something that we really want to do. you know, that's, that's the point. And that's the same thing with coaching. If someone from a developmental reason is assigned to coach.

John Marshall (11:04)
Mm-hmm.

Don Fries (11:16)
The challenge is, is coaching doesn't work unless the person, unless the client really wants to be coached. If they're willing to take accountability for, for the journey, the responsibility for that journey and accountability for the outcomes, those types of things. And, as you know, it doesn't really work when you have somebody who kind of comes in and says, you know, fix me. ⁓ cause that's, ⁓ you know, that's not only.

John Marshall (11:22)
Yep.

Yep. Exactly.

Don Fries (11:41)
really hard for the coach, but it's likely not going to end to the outcome that either party is really going to be looking for. So yeah, I agree wholeheartedly. It's, you know, how do you put the expectations of others and really find the ones that are most important for us as individuals to act.

John Marshall (11:57)
And it's. Yep. Yep. Exactly. And. the difference between need and want and like in that process with your clients, I mean, that is right. That's the art of coaching. So it's, if you're listening to this and thinking, well, I am thinking about coaching because of some certain.

Don Fries (11:57)
And that's how I look at the difference between need and want.

John Marshall (12:16)
development opportunities that came up and that doesn't mean that the, three 60 assessments or feedback that you're getting is, wrong or the wrong place to start. It's like, that's a great place to start with creating awareness around the things that you could change, but it's you work with your coach to find the most motivating reasons to make that change. Right.

Don Fries (12:32)
Right.

Yeah, I agree.

Yeah, I'm right there with you. You bet. You bet.

John Marshall (12:43)
And if you could take us through maybe, what are some of the, maybe an example or some of the ways that you go through that process with clients, like moving from, some of the things that they've been made aware of through an assessment or feedback, and then bring it to some of these tangible steps that they take moving forward.

Don Fries (13:04)
yeah, no, happy to do that. you know, a big part of coaching, as you know, is conscious awareness. So when somebody reads an assessment, a three 60, an external assessment, something like that. it's usually a good opportunity to kind of ask them questions about, can you relate to things that were that this behavior might've shown through? Or do you remember the situation that might've been highlighted in the three 60 and then kind of relive and reflect.

on what went well with that. Was there anything you wish you had done differently? And in most cases, it's usually, there's always something that they feel they could have done differently. A lot of people say, yeah, I had to go back to apologize to somebody after the fact because I didn't think I really treated them fairly. I came down on them really hard. they had a reaction.

to a situation as opposed to taking time to respond. So lot of it is kind of about slowing down, reading the room, understanding your triggers and trying to be more thoughtful in your response. Doesn't mean you're always gonna get it right, but it might mean you don't have to apologize every time you feel you maybe are treating somebody the way you want to. The other thing too is to get a sense of

where your weak spots might be. And for a lot of folks, it's, you know, what we talk about is just share with your team or those individuals that those are things you're working on. we don't have to be alone in this journey. finding people that can help us, that can give us the feedback and be vulnerable and open to that type of thing can be incredibly helpful. so allowing people to say, Hey, I'm not perfect. I'm working on stuff too.

and most people will likely step in and say, yeah, appreciate you sharing that with me. And I'll be happy to give you that feedback whenever you want. So a lot of it is, is it really a problem? Is it true? Is it really something that you struggle with? And then, be a little bit more thoughtful. You know, even I know of some clients that basically say, if you're in the middle and you feel yourself triggering and getting flushed and whatever, take a timeout.

Sorry, you I've got to address this other thing now. Can we talk about this in a few minutes and just kind of take a walk, decompress, do something, but it's, it's really about, how to respond instead of how to react is, what a lot of it is. ⁓ cause we tend to, again, open our mouths maybe before we've really thought through the process. And for many of my clients, that's what they deal with is how to create an environment and culture that is everything they want it to be, but they may not.

know all the tools to make that happen on a consistent basis.

John Marshall (15:37)
Yup. It's kind of this whole, behaving like, what you want to see become like whether within yourself or within your team or your organization, right? It's like, what are those? It's the values on the wall, but then what are the behaviors that reflect that? And then, you know, what are those things that take me out of being able to behave like that? Those triggers and blind spots that we have. Right.

Don Fries (15:43)
Exactly, yeah.

Yeah. Absolutely.

John Marshall (16:01)
And I love what you said about enrolling your team in something like this. Right. And there there's kind of this, I see a good bit of leaders that are like, I can't show that kind of like weakness. Right. I need to have it together.

Don Fries (16:14)
Mm-hmm, yeah.

John Marshall (16:16)
But actually, enrolling your team in something that you're working on. mean, how much psychological safety does that create for your team to then enroll others and you in something that they're working on?

Don Fries (16:30)
Yeah, that's, I think that's the key point of it. If you're trying as a leader, your responsibility is to build a culture. And if you want people to share, if you want people to feel safe, not threatened, behaving that way is critically important. you know, allowing people let you know that you're, it's not their journey. It's, it's an hour journey thing. And we're all wrestling with.

John Marshall (16:50)
Mm-hmm.

Don Fries (16:52)
with certain things and that openness, that vulnerability, I mean, that's huge. And, you know, we've, I know we've laughed before there's the statement about, a lot of companies try to turn people into leaders and a lot about what we're trying to do with Humessence is just trying to turn leaders into people. and it's, it's to understand the personal side of it and how our responses, how our behaviors impact others and how, if we want to.

John Marshall (16:58)
Mm-hmm.

Don Fries (17:18)
you know, adjust, modify, improve our behaviors to a point where we can create those, thriving cultures that, businesses are really looking for. So, I think that's a big part of it too. And that vulnerability is an important part of that journey to recognize that we're, none of us have all the answers.

John Marshall (17:34)
And it's, you know, to not, like to not enroll your team in your own development is basically showing them that it's like showing them that the example that development isn't important, right? I mean, it's the fact that you are in a leadership position, creates a...

Don Fries (17:47)
Mm-hmm.

John Marshall (17:53)
creates a implicit value on what the organization, implicit requirements of what the organization values. So it's like if you're not exhibiting some of those behaviors where you're valuing your own development,

Don Fries (18:01)
Yeah, I agree.

John Marshall (18:08)
It's like, well, why, why should they, maybe they should just be thinking about the business and results versus, developing themselves to create those results. That's like, even if, come development planning time, you're looking at all these core competencies, but you're not showing them how you're working on, you know, your competency improvement. It's like, something's not adding up. You know what I mean?

Don Fries (18:13)
Yeah.

Exactly.

Yeah, I agree with you. It's, and it's, it's funny. I've, I'm a big fan of Simon Sinek and he has a great comment is that we lead people. don't manage people. you manage projects, you manage processes. but, leadership is really that interaction with your individuals. So if you're not fully engaged in the journey with your team, to me, that feels a little bit more like you're just trying to manage your team. You know, okay, here's.

You know, we have to have this conversation at this point in time, that conversation, that point in time, we tick the box and we move on. But leading is really, leaders lead from the front and you have to provide an example. And if, the example is we can do better, all of us can do better. And this is, let's talk about how we do that. To me, that's an example of a really strong leadership. So I've kind of looked at it that way.

I really liked that statement that we don't manage people, or we shouldn't be managing people, we really should be leading people. So that's parts of the conversation I come up with a lot of my, especially more of my senior level clients, we're exploring that with them and what that means to them and how do they actualize it.

John Marshall (19:37)
Yes, that's a great thing. That last thing you said, right? How do you actualize it? I guess that really depends on the individual and the specific areas that they're looking to develop.

Don Fries (19:50)
Most definitely, most

definitely. I mean, and you know, as a coach, you, have an opportunity to plant a seed. Doesn't mean the client's going to follow it or should follow it. I mean, it's, really up to their choice to do that. But if, if by creating that awareness, they potentially see an opportunity in that. Great.

John Marshall (20:07)
Exactly. There's one of, ⁓ I think it was during yoga teacher training, actually, one of our, one of our instructors said, you can't influence what it was. no, you can't change people against their will. You can only influence their will to change by doing work on yourself. And I was like, what?

Don Fries (20:25)
I love that. Yeah. Love that. Ding, ding.

John Marshall (20:28)
It just cemented itself in my mind. I was like, wow, okay, it's all coming together.

Don Fries (20:32)
Yeah, love that.

Yeah, it is

funny. There's so much resource out there, positive psychology, whatever that might be. And it's funny how certain things just stick with us. And you get down to kind of a list of a couple of go-to stories or philosophies or resources that tend to, you try out with your clients and in many cases, it just kind of tends to work. So the more...

the more the list of options gets smaller, hopefully the more proficient we get in how to help our clients apply them for the things that they're working on.

John Marshall (21:05)
Well, speaking of resources, you you brought one up recently in our team meeting that has been stuck in my mind. that quote is this, I'll let you explain the framework better than me, but this control influence, except model that you brought up in our team meeting. It's been just stewing in my mind ever since I'd love for you to, introduce that to the audience and how that might support them.

Don Fries (21:12)
Ha ha ha ha

No,

happy to. And again, this is one of these things I came across and it just seems to work in a lot of cases. Neil and Sue Thompson are two researchers that back in 2008 were focused on doing some work around people feeling overwhelmed. And whether that's how you prioritize, how you manage your time, how you run a meeting, whatever it might be, their model is basically to say,

There are three different options of how we can influence a situation. We can control it, we can influence it, or we can just accept it. So from a professional standpoint, a lot of folks say, hey, I'm a people pleaser. I made my name by doing great work, helping out wherever I could, being the go-to person. But now that's driving me nuts. And I'm working 60 hours a week. I don't see my family.

And I'm not completing anything. I don't feel like I'm getting anything done. And it is like being on a hamster wheel. I, I sense. So a lot of that model is really about, let's look at things that we have to accept. Okay. ⁓ and then what we recognize is that if you can influence something, maybe you can free up and help prioritize things. So I'll give you an example.

Let's say you're a person that gets called into a whole bunch of different meetings and all of a sudden you walk in on a Monday morning and all of your free time for the week is now booked solid, including your lunch hour with people saying, yeah, we need to have an hour meeting. We need to have a two hour meeting. So the influence side of it is to say to somebody, what would it be, you know, when are you best during your day? When are you best highest energy level? And a lot of people it's mornings.

What would it be like if you could block eight to nine on your calendar every morning to get through email, to plan your day, to do whatever and not accept meetings during that time? How do you run your day if you don't have lunch? When do have time to go to the bathroom? mean, if everything's stacked up. So why don't you block lunch? You can choose whether you eat lunch or not, where you eat it, how you eat it, who you eat it with. But for that 12 to one timeframe,

you're not interrupted, get to catch your breath. Brain science says, if you're focusing on one thing for more than two, two and a half hours, the rest, everything after that, your brain kind of goes to mush unless you take some time to regenerate and rejuvenate. Whether that's food, whether that's a lock, whether that's just looking out the window, whatever it is. So the influence piece is, try some of these different things, block your calendar a little bit.

and see what people do. If people really want you to participate, they'll adjust. Another option is, why does a meeting need to be two hours? And if it's two hours, do we have an agenda? You can say, hey, I only have an hour. I can give you an hour, but not two. You'd be amazed how people will adjust their time to give you, have that hour that you need to be there and things like that. a lot of it is just, a lot of people don't like to say no.

This is a way of maybe not saying no, but saying not now. I still care, but I need to provide my own terms. So that's kind of the influence piece. The control piece is really basically saying, you know, if somebody comes to say, Hey, I need to talk, something big is going on. Did you actually make the choice to say, no, I can't focus on that now, but I can, I can be there for you in a day or two. Just, just try that out.

You know, if even if you're just resting, rejuvenating, doing emails, whatever, keep it in your priority as opposed to making your work everybody else's priority. So there are different degrees of how you do that, but that's an example of how you might be able to control your calendar a little better from a prioritization and time management standpoint. But the big point is not to be afraid to ask for what you think is going to be most helpful for the situation that you're asked to be participating in. And that's kind of the bottom line.

But if we accept everything, we'll have no control and we'll go crazy in the process.

John Marshall (25:15)
Yep.

Yeah. mean, if,

if we accept everything, then we are just subject to someone or everyone else's control and influence.

Don Fries (25:24)
you

Right. Right. Exactly. Exactly. It goes kind of back to that need and want discussion that we had is that, you you're on everybody else's agenda, but you're not on your own. ⁓ so you need to do things because people are telling you, you know, you have to be here. You have to be there. You may not want to, and that's where the conflict lies. So, yeah, I love that. It has been able to apply in a lot of things personally and professionally with people. And I've applied it in my own.

John Marshall (25:31)
Wow.

Mm-hmm.

Don Fries (25:54)
my own practice, I guess, in how I look at things that way. So that's one that seems to hit pretty consistently with the people that I talk to about that, that are dealing with overwhelm, dealing with setting priorities, things like that.

John Marshall (25:58)
Right.

And, know, I, I concur. comes up a lot with a lot of my clients as well to this because it's, know, a lot of folks have experienced a lot of success and attribute where they are in their career to saying yes to everything, you know, to being the go-to guy or gal, you know, to being the one that always takes on the extra project. Right.

Don Fries (26:30)
Absolutely,

yeah.

John Marshall (26:31)
Which

is, but then there's this, once you leave that individual contributor piece and maybe first level manager, it's like, if you continue to do that, then you have no time for being a leader. it's, it's like, always see that, when they start laying things out and they're like, well, when, know, when are you actually going to, to lead? And, before your control influence except

Don Fries (26:48)
Yeah. Yep.

John Marshall (26:53)
framework, I always said, you're always saying no to something. So it's like, even if you're saying, yeah, if you're saying yes to everything, you're either saying no to yourself, to your team, to other things that might be more strategic on your agenda. Like you're always saying no, even if it's not coming out of your mouth. Right.

Don Fries (26:57)
Mm-hmm.

Yeah. And I think

the way that hopefully people receive it positively is just to ensure that when you are in the moment that you are present. So a lot of times again, with that overwhelm is you're in a conversation and if your heart and head's not in it, you're looking for a reason to deflect. You know, your phone buzzes and you pull it out of your pocket and you read and you make the other person feel like they're not important. So I think people can understand.

John Marshall (27:20)
Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

Don Fries (27:37)
If when you're with them, you are totally with them, you know, they'll respect that. And then the conversation about, boy, I'm swamped. I really can't do this right now. We probably all can relate and hopefully most people will kind of say, I understand. when do you have some time? You'll make it work. So that's, that's the opportunity to just, again, that's that vulnerability piece. That's that we're all in the same, the same boat together, trying to get to the same place. So.

John Marshall (27:47)
Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

Don Fries (28:06)
⁓ so that that's, that's the opportunity, but it is, it is awareness and it is, it needs to be habitual. It takes practice. you have one success doesn't mean the next it's, you know, you're not going to slip back. So a lot of my coaching clients that are working on these things every time we meet. After, talking about, you know, kind of scene setting for the, for the session, it's.

John Marshall (28:07)
Yep.

Yeah.

Don Fries (28:29)
How are you doing with your prioritization time management goals? You know, I'm still going to CrossFit every morning at 6 a.m. or whatever. And that's just, again, to promote that's the habit and to remind people that if it feels good, keep doing it. So that's part of the science behind it too.

John Marshall (28:32)
Yep.

Mm-hmm.

Yep.

Right. It's, know, building that in, always tell people it's just like a, like a meditation practice, you know, consistency is far more important than intensity or duration. Right. Start training the mind because all those other decisions have been leading to success over how many years and you want to change that in, you know, one week, a month. It's like.

Don Fries (28:51)
Sure.

Exactly, yeah, I agree.

John Marshall (29:07)
It takes time, takes time and consistency. So, this has been always, our conversations are always just, really insightful. think we both have, I think we both have a really deep love for, for true coaching, for what it is like in its, in its essence. And,

Don Fries (29:08)
Absolutely.

John Marshall (29:23)
I wanted to just acknowledge you for that and for, the, genuine, the authentic care you put in, in your clients. And, ⁓ I'm just very grateful to have you a part of Humessence and I want to make a plug for you to anyone that's listening that, you know, wants to have this conversation with you or, know, an introductory consultation conversation with you.

Don Fries (29:30)
Nah, I appreciate that. Appreciate that.

John Marshall (29:47)
You know, right in meet the team on the Humessence website, you can go ahead and schedule to have your own conversation with Don. And, I'm really excited for all of you that have joined our conversation today and have listened in to, some of these techniques and tools, and hopefully that's created some awareness for you. And, ⁓ with that, I want to, I guess, hand it back to you, Don, to say, you know, what's, what's your,

What's your one word of wisdom maybe that you keep close to your heart that you'd want to share with some of the listeners today?

Don Fries (30:19)
Wow. One word. Can it be two? Sounds good. I mentioned earlier, I do believe more and more as you know, I experienced a coaching piece that the be present message is one that really rings true. know, live in the moment. We talk about coaching, about meeting the client where they're at. So

John Marshall (30:21)
It can be a whole phrase or sentence if you'd like.

Don Fries (30:46)
And we don't coach the story, we try to coach those things that are really driving the story. So in order to do that, you really need to listen, you really need to engage. And in making connection, and I think most people do look for connection for a number of different reasons. And I think the best way to do that is to truly be present, to show that that person is the most important person at the time in the room.

and give them the respect that they deserve in that space. So I would say, I would say be present is probably the mantra that I repeat fairly often in my mind as I engage in different interactions.

John Marshall (31:23)
Beautiful. I couldn't agree more. Well, thank you so much for joining me for this conversation today, Don, and thank you all listeners for tuning into yet another episode and any feedback or questions that you have, don't hesitate to reach out to us, connect with us through the Humessence website, bringing the human essence to these conversations, to business, to leaders.

Like that's all starts with the conversation. So just like you're listening to us here, we're always open to hear you out. So reach out.

Don Fries (31:55)
Much appreciated,

John. Thank you. Thank you very much for the opportunity. again, as John said, if anyone listening is interested in learning more, check the Humessence website. And we'd look more than happy to speak with you about anything that you're working on or thinking about.

John Marshall (32:13)
Awesome. All right. Until next time, everyone.