Six Hard Truths About Leadership (After 250 Episodes of Relationships at Work)

After 250 episodes of exploring leadership, workplace culture, and the human side of work, certain truths just won’t stay quiet. 

In this solo episode, host Russel Lolacher reflects on the six most consistent, hard-earned lessons that keep showing up — no matter the industry, the title, or the team. From the emotional impact of leadership to the systems that silently shape it, these are the truths every leader needs to face if they want to do better, lead better, and build workplaces worth staying in. This isn’t a checklist — it’s a challenge.

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Transcript

Welcome back to Relationships At Work – Your leadership guide to building workplace connections and avoiding blind spots…  I’m your host Russel Lolacher 

I’m a communications and leadership nerd with a couple of decades of experience and a heap of curiosity on how we can make the workplace better. If you’re a leader trying to understand and improve your impact on work culture and the employee experience, you’re in the right place.

And this week, we’re celebrating something special: our 250th episode.

Two hundred and fifty shows— 50 solo reflections, 149 expert interviews, 1filled with returning guests… all filled with hard truths, and moments of honesty — all focused on helping us show up better at work and lead more intentionally.

So today, I’m not diving into one topic. I’m not bringing on a guest. I just want to reflect. But not on the podcast itself. I want to reflect on what has jumped out from this experience, these conversations. What’s been revealed about leadership and workplace culture.

After 250 episodes, there are six truths I just can’t unsee. They show up again and again — across industries, roles, and levels of experience. They don’t go away. They’re often ignored, but they’re always present.

So today, I want to share those six truths with you. Not as a checklist, but as a conversation. A story, really. One about what happens when we stop paying attention to the human side of leadership — and what we might do if we started taking it more seriously.

Let’s start here.

Truth number one: Leaders need leaders.

We assume once someone gets the title, they’ve got it figured out. But what actually happens is this: the more senior the role, the less support leaders tend to receive. Formal training disappears. Feedback dries up. Expectations increase, but the tools to meet them don't.

Leaders are told to show up with clarity, empathy, and strength — but few are ever shown how. And fewer still are asked what they need.

That abandonment becomes isolation. And isolation, over time, breeds ego, defensiveness, and burnout. Not because leaders don’t care — but because they’re overwhelmed, under-supported, and unsure where to turn without looking weak.

Leadership isn’t supposed to be a guessing game. But far too often, that’s exactly what it is.

The best leaders aren’t the ones who figure it out alone — they’re the ones who are given the space, the mentorship, and the feedback to grow.

And most of them? Aren’t.

Which brings me to the next truth…

Truth number two: Bad employee experiences leave a mark that lasts for years… even decades.

You might not remember the exact thing your boss said in that one meeting… but you remember how they made you feel.

I’ve had people on this podcast, and in conversations off-mic, tell me about workplaces they left decades ago… and they’re still carrying the weight of what happened. That’s not a bad day. That’s trauma.  

These leadership moments leave marks… scars. Every conversation, every decision, every silence — they leave an imprint. It might build trust. It might build resentment. But it will build something.

We like to think work is just work. But it’s not. It’s emotional. It’s identity. It’s where we spend most of our waking hours. And when leadership is careless with that, it does damage. Even if no one calls it out.

Which is why clarity matters.

Truth number three: Managers and leaders are different — but often get confused.

We hand out titles and expect leadership skills to follow. But managing tasks and leading people are not the same thing.

I remember bringing this up with some one and they told me they had a boss that said it was just semantics. That boss needs to give their head a shake. 

Management is about delivery, it’s about the goal. Leadership is about people, their growth and their experience and their journey in delivery those products or services.  

Now, someone can be both — but only if we recognize the distinction and support both roles. Because when we treat them as interchangeable, we under-develop our leaders and over-burden our managers. That’s when performance stalls, teams get frustrated, and cultures start to fray at the edges.

Leadership is about relationships. Hey, it’s the name of the podcast. It’s about guidance. About creating space for people to thrive — not just to execute. And when we blur that line, we fail to provide what either role really needs.

And it’s not just about the individuals in those roles. That brings us to truth number four.

Truth number four: It’s not bad leaders — it’s bad leadership ecosystems that cause the real damage.

Yes, we’ve all encountered “that boss.” But what we rarely ask is: how did they get there? Who promoted them? Who protected them? What systems rewarded their behavior — or failed to hold them accountable?

We often hear people don’t leave bad jobs, they leave bad bosses. I completely disagree. I think people leave bad leadership ecosystems. 

What if we have a bad boss but the organization notices it, acknowledges it, trains them, supports them and checks in to make sure they’re improving. Or fires them if they aren’t because they’ll do more harm to the larger culture if they’re left to stay.  Doesn’t that sound amazing?

We’re quick to blame the person. But if we only ever swap out the nameplate without addressing the conditions that allowed bad leadership to thrive, we’ll keep repeating the same problems.

Organizations often confuse accountability with optics. They move someone out of a role, but they don’t address what made their leadership style acceptable in the first place.

If the system stays the same, it doesn’t matter who’s in charge. You can’t change culture with personnel shifts alone. You need to change the ecosystem that supports or enables leadership.

And to do that? You need shared understanding.

Truth number five: Defining terms is essential.

One of the quietest killers of trust in any workplace is misalignment. And it often starts with assumptions.

What does “leadership” mean in your organization? What about “respect”? “Transparency”? “Trust”? “Diversity”?

If you haven’t defined those terms together — out loud, with your teams — then you’re operating on guesses. And those guesses will not match. One person thinks “respect” means never questioning authority. Someone else thinks it means speaking up when something’s wrong.

And now you’ve got tension. Not because of malice, but because you skipped the hard work of shared definitions.

Clarity is kindness. Brene Brown said so and I believe her. When we define the words we build our culture on, we’re not limiting people — we’re aligning them. And alignment is how you move forward without leaving people behind.

And the final truth I want to share today is this:

Truth number six: We need to treat root causes, not just symptoms.

Burnout isn’t just about workload. Turnover isn’t just about pay. Quiet quitting isn’t laziness. Disengagement isn’t cause they don’t care.

These are symptoms. Signals. Alarm bells telling you that something deeper is wrong. That expectations aren’t clear. That trust is broken. That leaders aren’t showing up with presence, empathy, or follow-through.

But what do we usually do? We try to fix the metric. The number. The behavior.

We offer yoga classes when the real problem is toxic management. We throw bonuses at retention when the real issue is lack of growth or respect.
 We improve onboarding checklists when the challenge is the supervisor doesn’t care to make an effort with new staff. 

And then we wonder why nothing improves.

If we’re not curious enough to ask the harder questions — the systemic questions — then we’ll just keep putting bandaids on symptoms while disease festers and goes untreated. 

These six truths aren’t just things I’ve noticed — they’ve been echoed again and again by the guests I’ve had, the stories listeners have shared, and the research and reflection that’s shaped this show.

They’re not meant to be catchy quotes or performance reviews waiting to happen. They’re meant to be reminders. Anchors. Wake-up calls.

Because leadership isn’t about being perfect — it’s about being present. Culture isn’t about slogans — it’s about systems. And relationships at work? They’re built or broken based on what leaders choose to prioritize. Leadership is a choice after all. 

And we can choose to do better for those we’re responsible for.

The problem with workplaces is  leadership, the solution is also leadership.