Leading in High Pressure Without Burning Out Your Team

This is part 3 of a 4-part series on leading through high pressure at work, with licensed psychologist Dr. Janna Koretz. Each episode explores a different theme—clarity, self-awareness, team dynamics, and workplace culture.

High pressure leadership isn’t just about surviving stress—it’s about not spreading it. Dr. Janna Koretz shares how leaders can show up differently in tense environments and still support performance. You’ll learn how self-regulation, calm communication, and empathy can ripple through a team—even if no one else is doing the work. Whether you're managing during crisis, growth, or daily chaos, this episode offers practical ways to lead without losing your people.

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Transcript

Russel Lolacher: Well, you bring a good point. You are going back to as a leader, that is high pressure, but they're getting the help to manage this high pressure. Guess what their team is not doing. Also taking that learning so, or their bosses or their colleagues. How does a leader go back working on themselves, getting their self-awareness of how to manage that stress back into a, their team who are not learning the same things? How did they approach that?

Janna Koretz: That's a big task and I think that's a roadblock a lot of people run into. And I think it depends also where you are in the organization as well of how to go about doing that. But I think for, and you know this is true for, in my opinion, leadership in general, leading by example is very powerful.

And I think that being like leading by relationship is important and being appropriately open when you feel like that's helpful is useful. And so I think, and also if you think about this is a silly example, it's like the boss who comes back from vacation and they're like, kind of, they're like a little more relaxed and then two days later they're back to what they were doing. But I think like that first day back, I think we see a little bit of that more like from a longevity perspective, when people, like they're having these shifts and so they're, I'm just using calm as an example, but let's say they're able to be a little bit more calm through these situations, right?

And even if they do nothing else, like their team picks up on that. Like interpersonal dynamics are really obvious to people like unconsciously, if you will. So it rubs off on the team. And then if, and then on top of that, if you're, if you're helping two people on your team navigate a conflict and you're, they're in your office let's say you're like, okay, well, let's, and you're calm, right? You're co-regulating with them. And so what you do with children, you're, and then so they we're like, oh, I don't actually have to be angry about this. We can just have a conversation and here's how we do that. Oh, okay.

Like that's actually better. It's easier. And so then you know you're teaching skills by, as they come on, you're also teaching them by just being yourself. And then if you wanna make a more conscious effort, you can then implement things that you are learning from a cultural perspective that just much harder and it takes a lot longer and requires a lot of buy-in and stuff like that.

Russel Lolacher: Where does communication come into this? Because in a high pressure situation, you are probably being very quick, short, bursts. 'cause it's all about emergency. It's all about addressing things right away. But if you're trying to get out of that mindset, even in that environment, communications with our teams and our colleagues might need to shift as well.

What does that look like?

Janna Koretz: First, I like to tell people you need to decide what's urgent and what's important, because a lot of things are not urgent, but we treat them like they are. And so that gets like everyone, all frazzled. We're making these quips at each other , like all these things. But really, yes. Okay. So we have those situations, but those are actually pretty small in number, especially if you're doing your job right.

And so, and that I say that with, there are some, caveats that of course, but in a lot of times that's true. But also, and this has been a personal journey for me as well, like I'm a very direct person. I am a really reactive person. And so when I started leading people and being a leader, I had stopped doing that because what I quickly realized is that was not helpful to myself or to other people or to my organization because most people don't hear directness well, especially if it's not a hundred percent positive.

And so what I had to start doing is saying yes, I hear you. I appreciate what you're saying. This is what I'm hearing you say. Let me think about that. I'll get back to you by the end of the day, this person would leave and then I would be able to like rant in my head about it call a friend, whatever.

And then think about okay, what is the problem I need to solve? What is the outcome I need and how am I going to talk to that person to get that outcome? I do not wanna get in my own way, and so how do I do that? And that line of communication as a therapist, I can do that, but for many people they need to be taught how to do that because it's hard to communicate with people, especially when you guys are on different pages or for example, a lot of people say I have this really difficult coworker. They're very rigid. It's okay, well they could just be a rigid person, or they're probably really anxious and and if you, and so if you think about them as an anxious person and communicate with them that way.

Let's see what that, what, how does that help your relationship or how does that help you get things done? And oftentimes it's really helpful because that person doesn't then become defensive because they're being spoken to oh yeah, that is really hard. Here's some options. What do you think?

It feels more collaborative whatever the communication shift is, right? So it's also how it's like theory of mind. It's how you understand people. It's giving people the benefit of the doubt. It's understanding your own reactions and then the actual language that you wanna use is a lot of what we teach people.

I mean, there's some key phrases like... it's very therapist, ' I'm wondering if' is a great way to start talking because you're not saying, one thing. 'I'm wondering if' is very like, disarming, right? So there are like phrases such as that, that we teach people, but we're also teaching them about other people and we're teaching them other things.

If that makes sense.

Russel Lolacher: Absolutely. I will use a Mike Tyson quote.

Janna Koretz: I love Mike Tyson quotes. He has some really good ones

Russel Lolacher: It's great to have a plan until get punched in the face.

Janna Koretz: Until punched in the face. That's a favorite quote of mine. I love that quote. 

Russel Lolacher: And this sounds all great, but I know there are people going, I am too busy for this.

I don't have time to think about, what are you, 'I'm wondering if'. I'm like, I am having to put out 17 fires and you want me to take a step back. I have to lead through a fire, figuratively, or reality. How do you talk to people like that?

Janna Koretz: Yes. I mean, that's all true and, it all depends on how you, I mean like you want things to be different. You have to do things differently and no one has the time for that. I hear all this all the time, as somebody with young kids, like there's all these books about how you talk to young kids, right?

And one of the things they tell you is you're supposed to be funny and like playful and everything's supposed to be a joke, and the monsters are coming to eat your socks or whatever. And it's that's how every parent is no one has the time for this. I need them in the car. I don't need this bullshit. Whatever. But in the end of the day, like if you just do that, your kids will be in the car in five seconds and then it's all over. No one's mad, no one's angry. You're actually saving time. And I think the same thing applies to the workplace. When you do things differently, like it's, you just want people to go away and do their job.

I understand that, but they're not like, they're not, right. And so how do you as a leader, get them to do that? So that everyone's happy, nobody's quitting, you're not paying for new people, they're making more money. No one's losing their job. You know all the things. And it does, as a leader, it requires you to be different.

It requires you to do things that are irritating. It requires you to take a step back and do things differently 'cause otherwise you're getting in your own way. And that's why they come to us in the first place. So, no, you don't really have time, but you don't really have a choice. That's just like where we all kind of land.

And it doesn't have to necessarily be this giant shift all the time. You don't have to be everyone's friend and be like really therapist with them all the time. But there are moments that you'll learn to do that, which are really helpful and that actually buys you a lot of grace in all the times that you don't do it because you're not gonna do it all the time.

Parents are not always gonna be like eventually one day you lose your shit and you're like, get in the fucking car. Right? And so it's no different at work. It's like the more times you don't do that, the more efficient everything is, the happier people are, and then the less people are upset when you don't do it.