The Stoic Handbook with Jon Brooks
You've read the books. You know what Marcus Aurelius would do. But when life gets hard, the philosophy disappears. This podcast is for people who want to close the gap between knowing Stoicism and actually living it. New episodes every Monday.
The Stoic Handbook with Jon Brooks
Stoic Object Deconstruction Meditation: Managing Cravings and Desires
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Marcus Aurelius had a habit of stripping the glamour off things he wanted: the fine wine is just fermented grapes, the expensive meal is dead animal and plants. This guided meditation puts that practice to work on your own cravings and attachments.
You take something you are pulled toward and break it down into its plain parts, with the flattering story removed, until you can see it with a neutral eye. The point is not to hate the thing. It is to loosen its hold, so the wanting stops running quite so much of the show. Includes examples and a few questions to sit with.
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The Stoics saw our attachment to possessions as following a simple logic. If something makes us feel good or benefits us in some way, we put that thing on a pedestal. When we put things on pedestals, it's natural to become attached. And when we are attached, our emotional well-being becomes linked to something beyond ourselves. As a result, we suffer due to our fear of losing that thing, or from actually losing that thing. We often delude ourselves about the true value of things and waste time and energy on dead end pursuits. To free ourselves from this deluded attachment and ultimately from suffering, we can practice clear seeing of our attachments and our relationship to them. This will break the spell and liberate us. Epictetus reminds us that wealth consists not in having great possessions, but in having few wants. With this wisdom, let's begin our practice to train the mind. The exercise we'll be doing now is object deconstruction. We will start with small things and work our way up to the things we care most about in life. This technique can be summarized as follows We break down the object of our attachment into simple elemental parts, free of pedestal and positive framing. Let me give you some real world examples. Coffee The attached mind might think flat whites are heavenly, expertly crafted, steamed milk poured over two shots of the finest beans and finished with delicate rosetta art. A stoic might break this down to I am fond of a drink consisting of water, milk, and caffeinated beans. Attraction to another person. An attached mind might say, This person is so divine, they are so beautiful and exquisite. If I could just have them, my life would be completely and utterly complete. Your property. An attached person might think, I love my home. The theme in each room is unique, and the decoration is jaw-dropping. A stoic might say, I am fond of a concrete building filled with different materials, but mostly consisting of empty space. Marcus Aurelius said that the soul becomes dyed with the colour of its thoughts. Let's use this practice now to colour your thoughts with clarity. Let's take a moment to practice. Bring to mind something you feel attached to. Attachments can come in many forms, habits, people, items, ideas, experiences, possessions, anything that provides craving or desire. Now ask yourself, what would someone who is very attached to this describe it as? Imagine someone even more attached than you, someone head over heels in love, obsessed and attached to this thing. How would they describe it? Now let's break it down and go the complete opposite way. In very objective terms. What is this thing made of? It might sound silly or unusual, but that's the point. We are trying to see this thing with a neutral mind, free of the positive framing we ordinarily put around it. We can ask some further questions as well, like do you think there are people in the world who wouldn't be attached to this thing that you are attached to? Try to imagine what they are perceiving and experiencing when they look at this thing. As a practicing stoic, it is okay to enjoy life to the fullest, but the goal is to not get swept away in our strong emotions and passions so that we lose touch with reality. Seneca said he who is not a slave to riches shows more wisdom than he who holds the whole world in subjection. When we watch a movie, we can be both lost in a story, enjoying it fully, but also able to realize that at any moment it is fiction. We might cry at the end of a film, but we won't let it negatively impact our life for months afterward. That would be too extreme. Likewise, it is okay to indulge in joy, luxury, and the spectrum of positive emotions, provided we don't lose touch with the true nature of what is going on. We stay in touch with reality through exercises like this, through reason and rational thinking, and tranquility and calmness. You can return to this guided contemplation regularly, using the same or different attachments to work through, and also practice the exercise in daily life object deconstruction. As you can loosen the grip your attachments have on you, you will experience more freedom and liberation. As we conclude this meditation, carry with you the wisdom of the Stoics. Let the awareness of life's true nature guide your actions and decisions. Be kind, be present, and make the most of this precious moment. Take one final deep breath in, hold it, and exhale slowly. I'll see you back here in the next session.