Episode 254 | Ryan Dominguez of Tokyo Rose

On this episode we have on Ryan Dominguez from the band Tokyo Rose. 

We talk about becoming a father through adoption, going from a music career to school to a teacher, how they got the band back together after 20 years, being a New York sports fan, going to baseball games with his son, what’s different making music as a teenager vs in your 40s, playing shows and reconnecting with fans, and how he found time to be creative and write new music.

Their new album Never Say Die comes out July 24.  Make sure to follow their instagram tokyorosenj to find out information for where to buy the album and where to see them on tour. 

Follow us on Facebook and Instagram and TikTok YouTube. Look for new episodes of The Imperfect Dads Podcast every Monday and Thursday.

This podcast is part of the Never A Phase Network, follow them on instagram at @neveraphasenetwork and check out their podcasts like Emo Kids Anonymous  Wasting Time Podcast Certified Fangirl and The Ska Mailman

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:03

Welcome to the Imperfect Dads Podcast. This is your host, Devon. We believe dads care deeply about their family and kids, but they don't always have a space to discuss what their life looks like. Our podcast is a space for dads to discuss the ups and downs of fatherhood and how they feel like they're holding it together or how they're not. Thank you for joining us for this episode. This podcast is part of the Never A Face Network. Make sure to follow them on Instagram or go to the website NeverAffacenetwork.com. On this episode, we have on Ryan Dominguez from the band Tokyo Rose. We talk about becoming a father through adoption, going from being a musician to going back to school to being a teacher, how they got the band back together after twenty years, being a New York sports fan, going to baseball games with a son. Playing shows and reconnecting with fans, and how we found time to be creative and write new music. Tokyo Rose's new album, Never Say Die, comes out on July 24th. Make sure to follow their Instagram, Tokyo RoseNJ, to find out information for where it about the album and where to see them on tour. Just like one more thing. Oh, my bad. Hey, Ryan, welcome to an episode of The Imperfect Dads. Thanks so much for doing one. Absolutely. Thanks for having me. Sorry it took so long to get on. Oh, listen, man, aren't you are you a teacher? Is that right? Like your day job as a teacher?

SPEAKER_02 1:27

That's right, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:28

Yeah. And you're in Eastern Standard Time. I'm on Mountain Standard Time. So like, yeah, no, man. Like, um, that when when do you normally go to bed? Like, what's your normal bedtime?

SPEAKER_02 1:38

You know, we try to lights out at like 10 30. If my wife's also a teacher, so it's like we're like up at the the crack of dawn.

SPEAKER_01 1:46

So yeah. So I'm now that it's summertime, I'm like, oh yeah, this makes a lot more sense, as opposed to me being like, hey man, I know you worked a full day. You probably dealt with interaction all day long, got home, try to connect with your wife and family, not talk to a stranger half across the country. This dude there.

SPEAKER_02 2:04

It's all good, man. It's uh, you know, we there's so many threads to relate on. So Yeah. Yeah. What uh how long have you been a teacher for? Um kind of on and off for the last uh 15 years. You know, I took a couple years break, COVID happened, so uh, you know, kind of came back to the classroom a little bit after COVID when uh, you know, life came back.

SPEAKER_01 2:29

Yeah, that makes sense. And my friends who were teachers during COVID, um I was not surprised when some of them decided to change careers going from like 2020 to 2022 just because it was a lot. So yeah, totally it it's it's a lot, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 2:45

Yeah, it it was like the kind of great reset or reassess button, you know? Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_01 2:52

Yep. It was. I honestly, so I have I have three kids. I have a 10-year-old daughter, eight-year-old daughter, and almost five-year-old son. And my son was born in 2021 because of us sitting around and being like, hey, are we are we done? And like without COVID, I don't know if we would have slowed down enough to be like, hey, is our are we done growing our family? So yeah, man, it's um it's a it I don't know. I'm intrigued to see how many books are written about the time of COVID and how everyone's experience was just so freaking drastically different.

SPEAKER_02 3:23

Yeah, completely. You know, I remember when World Cup was previously, you know, they had like ads, I think it was like Heineken showing ads like people having babies and stuff, you know, because football. Yeah. Right. It's like how much of life is because of COVID now, you know? Yep.

SPEAKER_01 3:39

Yep, pretty much. Are you are you much of a soccer fan?

SPEAKER_02 3:43

Uh so I'm married into it. I married uh a girl from the UK. So uh yeah, kind of married into Liverpool supporting.

SPEAKER_01 3:51

Oh, that is the correct answer. I'm also a Liverpool supporter and snow rats. Whenever your wife wants to hop on and talk about the coaching change that just happened in the last week, just let me just flag her over and that'll be great. Absolutely. It's been it's been a whirlwind, you know, the last 18 months. Yep. It has been. Do you um one of my favorite things about soccer or watching soccer is it's such a chill thing to watch in the background while the kids are around. Like it's not like football and um basketball, like, you know, every 10 minutes, man, there's a commercial break or something like that, and my kids are living for the commercial breaks. For soccer, they kind of like they just hang out. And I'm like, I like this so much more than the weird overstimulation that comes with commercials.

SPEAKER_02 4:32

So true. So true. Uh you know, you just kind of like lose, it kind of just fades into the background, but then when commercials hit, you're just like, what's happening? You know, and it's it's very much all that sensory stimulation, you know, it's like being in Vegas or Atlantic City or something.

SPEAKER_01 4:48

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 4:48

Yeah. Or Times Square.

SPEAKER_01 4:50

I mean, Times Square. Yeah, you know, well, it's also you I think I'm good in Times Square for like 30 minutes. Then after 30 minutes, I'm like, I'm good. This is a lot. Good for life. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 5:00

Basically.

SPEAKER_01 5:01

Have you always lived in Jersey or have you ever lived anywhere else?

SPEAKER_02 5:05

Um, I've lived in Jersey, you know, pretty much my whole life. I've we traveled a lot with the band um and then also um kind of migrated through um like job change and uh school, stuff like that.

SPEAKER_01 5:20

But mostly Jersey, yeah. Nice. Did you uh I'm trying to think of what would your timeline be like? Were you in the band, then the band kind of took a break, and then you went back to school to like learn how to become a teacher or anything like that?

SPEAKER_02 5:32

That's exactly it.

SPEAKER_01 5:33

Okay, cool. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, a day job is helpful, man. Having consistent income and health insurance is not a bad thing, so not at all.

SPEAKER_02 5:44

Completely necessary. You know, we was just talking with my wife. I'm dealing with an injury um that I had sustained when I didn't have insurance.

SPEAKER_03 5:53

Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_02 5:54

Uh so you know, I didn't know I I had a broken foot. Um actually it happened on tour, so I like lived with it since then. Yeah. I had this like this limp, um, you know, it's kind of like uh what's his um Kevin Spacey's character for Kaiser Social Center.

SPEAKER_01 6:12

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 6:12

Exactly. Yeah. You know, and like sometimes I can pretend I don't have it, but it it always kind of wakes up and you know, different times and it's like, oh yeah, this this happened because of that.

SPEAKER_01 6:22

Yep. Yep. And I'm sure it's great whenever because I know you're track you're getting back into the habit of like playing shows and playing music, right?

SPEAKER_02 6:28

Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_01 6:29

Yeah. So I'm sure you go on stage and you're like, let's go full energy, and you're like, never mind, I'm gonna jump on one foot a lot for this song.

SPEAKER_02 6:37

Totally, man. It's and it's funny, you know, being on tour, you know, for like long weekends and playing with with bands who are half our age or you know, a few years younger. It's like they can really go hard. I have to like rest. They can play probably you know, 10 shows in a row, and I just I need a nap in there.

SPEAKER_01 6:55

Yeah. I saw the Beach Boys play once while Brian Wilson was still alive. And Brian Wilson basically just parks behind that piano and just didn't move the entire time. And you know what? Yeah, backing band carried the energy, everyone sounded great, and I just looked at Brian, I was like, you're probably exhausted. So yeah, just sit, just sit down, man. You're good, you'll be fine.

SPEAKER_02 7:14

Yeah, you're good. Rest on your laurels.

SPEAKER_01 7:17

Be good. What uh I haven't asked yet how many kids you got, ages, all that good stuff.

SPEAKER_02 7:22

Yeah, so we have one. Uh he's newly 10. Um, and he is uh, you know, I was telling somebody earlier today, he's like a handful of joy and another handful of challenge, but you know, aren't they all? Yeah. And um totally, totally worth it. Um he was born in 2016. Um, so it's like we had considered whether or not to, you know, he's adopted. We were uh considering adopting again and growing our family that way. Um but when COVID hit, kind of the world just, you know, everybody hit pause on everything. So Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 7:59

Can I ask how old was he whenever you adopted or like what age was he? Yeah, uh two days old. Oh, okay. Dang. Okay, cool. Yeah, that's that's very young.

SPEAKER_02 8:09

Yeah, yeah. We uh, you know, he was born and then two days later, um, he came home with us.

SPEAKER_01 8:16

That's awesome. Can I ask what like the um uh the path to adoption can be a lot. Do you remember what yours was like? Do you remember like the emotions and feelings around it or and what the story is with that?

SPEAKER_02 8:26

Yeah, 100%. I mean we, you know, we uh we met kind of I I was like in my late 20s, it was after the band kind of fizzled out. Um and she was a bit she's a bit older than me. I think she's five years older than me. And um, you know, we got married and we were like, okay, we want to start a family um because we were a little bit older and you know it didn't really pan out.

SPEAKER_03 8:49

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 8:49

Um so then we we both separately had adoption in our minds and in our hearts. Um and so we just after being married for five years, we were like, okay, let's pursue this in earnest, and uh went with uh a local adoption agency here in Jersey, and the rest is history.

SPEAKER_01 9:08

Dude, that's so good. That's awesome. Yeah. Did you pick up your child at the hospital? Like, was it one of those scenarios? Yep.

SPEAKER_02 9:18

That's okay. Yeah, we met him uh he was born on a Thursday, we met him on a Friday morning, yeah, and we uh came back and took him home, brought him home on the Saturday morning.

SPEAKER_01 9:28

Dude. That's so cool. And I I think stuff like that's crazy to me because now like he's been part of your life for like 10 years. So like I it's even weird for me having three biological kids to try to remember what I felt like 10 years ago, you know, going to the hospital with my wife and like driving home. And it's just it's weird how something that was such a big moment of your life is now just like an everyday thing. Like, oh, it's just good to hang out with him upstairs. Like, I I'll probably be annoyed with him for not cleaning his room now. That's what like reality looks like now. Absolutely, absolutely. You said your oldest is 10? 10, yeah. She was uh February of 2016.

SPEAKER_02 10:01

Okay. Yeah, and it's you know, I mean it it seems like ages ago because it's just I don't I can't remember life without him.

SPEAKER_01 10:08

Yeah, yeah. It's I think fatherhood is so fascinating however you get to it, because like it I don't know anything else that's ever happened in my life that changes it so much. Where it is like, boom, now you're a dad, your identity is this, and like uh there's not a lot of things in life where like just overnight you are suddenly this and you you're all in, or hopefully you're all in, and that's just your identity going forward. Totally, totally.

SPEAKER_02 10:33

You know, uh the process of um approaching adoption, you kind of have to make a profile. Um it's like an online profile, and then you kind of make this book of your life. And it's a lot like online dating, you know, like you kind of put in um you know your parameters for um who you're hoping for and um you're like putting your best foot best foot forward, like kind of like online dating. Yeah, you know, and then unbeknownst to the to the child, like they get the real you and um and it's been you know kind of like wow, I I was this on paper, but you like you said, like instantly it changes overnight. And uh you're kind of like even if you're not that best version of yourself, like that's who you try to be and that's who you aspire to be, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 11:19

Yeah, definitely. And like no matter what, like how you get to fatherhood, like if it is day seven or eight of your kid not sleeping through the night and you and your wife are trying to figure out how to communicate and be kind to each other while there's a screaming human in your face, right? Yeah, no, kindness is hard to come by. You just hopefully respectful. You know, that's like I'm gonna try to be respectful, and I know I'm not sounding nice in anything I say. I'm so damn tired.

SPEAKER_02 11:44

Right, right, absolutely. You know, and that like that apology, lit however later on it comes, you know, can can soothe many wounds.

SPEAKER_01 11:53

Yep. I'm sorry what I said whenever we hadn't slept for three days in a row and it was 4 a.m. and we still it's because like I don't know if you remember this from your kids being younger, but like whenever they do sleep through the night, some part of your brain is like, oh, they have the ability to do this. And then you're like that is you can't you can't bank on that man, you can't guarantee that. Stop it. But like you internally, you're like, this is gonna be every night night now, right? Mm-hmm. Right. It's like absolutely shifting gears. You're like, ready? Nope. Yep, nope, nope. Yeah. And even still, like, I feel like my kids will um wake up in the middle of the night, maybe someone was spooked during a dream, or some kid just like gets in your bed and you're like, wait, what's happening? Okay, you're here now. Okay, cool. I'm just gonna do I'm gonna roll over and go back to sleep, but that's that's cool.

SPEAKER_02 12:35

Right. Yeah, definitely. It's like uh I'm just this is just my existence now. Like I I used to have you know a queen bed. I used to be half of a queen bed, but now I have like this I'm holding on with fingernails to the end that I that I don't fall off.

SPEAKER_01 12:53

I I I think when we had kids, we quickly upgraded to the king size bed because we had a dog at the time, so our dog would jump in the bed, and then like, yeah, if you're cuddling in bed with your baby, then it's just like why don't we like this have more space and stuff? So that call. Yeah.

unknown 13:09

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 13:09

Does your guys has your son started to um I know my 10-year-old daughter, her need for independence is like great. Where I thought that would be more like 12 or 13 to be acting like a preteen and stuff. Already at 10. Well, so she has two younger siblings she has to deal with, but like she's already like, how do I get my own space? How do I get my own stuff? Has your son started to venture into like this desperate need for identity or uh independence yet?

SPEAKER_02 13:32

A little bit. I feel like it happens more earlier with girls. Um, because we he he has a lot of friends in his school class who he's been in in school with for the last, you know, three, four, or five years. And it's like those yeah, the girls have definitely needed that space sooner.

SPEAKER_01 13:49

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 13:50

He's still kind of like, you know, w we have a couch and there's three technically there's three seats, but he's always sharing my cushion, you know, for some reason.

SPEAKER_01 13:59

And yeah, you're there and you're like, hey mate, you know there's a whole other like half of the couch. Like, do you want to sit over there at all? Yeah, do you want to scooch a little? He's like, Yeah, and then he's then he scooches closer to you. And you're like, okay. All right. All right. I I think that's definitely one of those things where it's like your parents or people will be like, oh, enjoy it because it won't last forever. And some part of you is like, you is that is it a bad thing my son who is 10 won't sit in my lap? Because I'm kind of okay with him not sitting in my gonna miss this? Right. My leg falls asleep when he sits on my leg. As well as it he's cutting off circulating, like a 10-year-old boy is not like a 20-pound, it's like a f it's a it's a person, like it's a human. It is a person, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 14:40

He's almost I think he's uh six inches shorter than me now. Oh my gosh. Yeah, yeah. I've been this same height since I was his age, basically. Yeah. How how tall are you? I'm five seven. Okay, cool.

SPEAKER_01 14:54

So average, right? Average height?

SPEAKER_02 14:56

I think so, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. We he always finds like he loves baseball, so he always finds when there's a baseball player who is my height, and he's like, You're the same height as Jose Altuve.

SPEAKER_01 15:07

I'll take it. That's cool. That's cool. Yeah. Uh just so you know the rest of our body is not the same, just as it turns out. Yes. Exactly. I'm I'm 6'4, so yeah, I'm like average starting height for an NBA point guard. And my kids are like, Oh, you're like that tall. And I'm like, Yeah, so the coordination and skills that they have are things that I never would have known how to develop at any point in my lifetime. Right, right.

unknown 15:35

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 15:35

Does your yeah, good. Sorry. No, I see the soccer jersey behind you. Yeah. Are you I'm a fan. Yeah, that's for um I lived in Nashville for 18 years. So that was for the um their MLS team as a bunch of players signed it. So very cool. Yeah. Do you guys ever um because I guess you'd be do you go to any MLS games or any soccer games in town? I guess you have to go across the river or something like that, right?

SPEAKER_02 16:00

Um, so the Red Bulls are in New Jersey. We've been to a couple Red Bulls games, and uh so we're Mets fans. Oh, yeah. And they're building the NYCFC stadium right next to City Field.

SPEAKER_01 16:13

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 16:14

So we might convert.

SPEAKER_01 16:15

Gotcha. Yep. That makes sense. Are you guys gonna try I I know pricing around World Cup tickets is freaking insane. Had did you guys even try to get any tickets, or were you just like, I I have to pay my mortgage, I'm not doing this.

SPEAKER_02 16:28

Yeah, that's exactly what you're like. We can we can go around for some of the outdoor events maybe and you know try to sneak into those. Um, because everything is is shot up through the roof. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 16:40

Yeah. Unless, you know, I because I man, I haven't scalped a ticket in forever. Like, you know, where you walk around the stadium and stuff, but I'm like, now that everything's digital, like how would this be like, can I walk around a stadium and scalp tick? I don't know how this works anymore. I've I'm too old to figure this out. I'm good. Totally. Yeah. You just have to like touch your phones together. Is it gonna be I don't trust this? I just I no, you know, I'm just already admitting my old man energy to be like, it's technology and I'm just I'm not gonna trust it. It'll work. Not to me it won't.

SPEAKER_02 17:11

Yeah, not to me. Without like sa you know, sabotaging my my bank accounts and stuff. Pretty much yeah.

SPEAKER_01 17:19

No, I'm I'm excited for the World Cup. I think my kids are used to me making them watch a lot of soccer games during the summer where now they're just used to it.

SPEAKER_02 17:27

Yeah, absolutely. World Cup and you have yeah, the Euros, you have you know Champions League, you have Premier League, everything. Everything's happening.

SPEAKER_01 17:37

So it is. It's it's really fun. Um tell me a little bit about like um getting the band back together and everything. Because you guys, did you guys break up like in the late to like late aughts and like in the past year or two, right? You guys got the band back together.

SPEAKER_02 17:50

That's right. Yeah, we played our last official tour was the winter of 2008. Um and it was with uh Bayside, Four Year Strong and Stray Light Run. Oh, nice. Um and I remember this very vividly because one of the last shows we were in Providence, half the guys in Bayside are now from New England at that point. And uh we're watching the Giants uh, you know, complete the opposite against Tom Brady and the Pats. Uh-huh. You know, and we're kind of, you know, we're having a good time, but like we're like they're devastated because they're just like they're the Pats were undefeated and the Giants, you know. So yeah, that was kind of the the last hurrah for the band. And um, yeah, we you know, we kind of all went our separate ways. You know, uh some the other guys like still playing still played in bands in that time, but I kind of like I kind of hung them up and um, you know, went back to school and uh, you know, life happened, like we all got married in different, you know, different times. And um now uh I stayed in Jersey and North Jersey. Our drummer Sean was still in North Jersey, but then uh our bass player Chris and uh our guitar player Matt are in like outside Philadelphia, Eastern PA. And um, so yeah, we kind of were all doing our own things, you know. Like we'd like message on Facebook maybe once in a while, you know, because we were very MySpace. Like we I don't even know if we had Facebook, you know, like transitioning. There was no such thing as a Tokyo Rose Facebook page, um, except for a band, like a band fan page.

SPEAKER_03 19:33

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 19:34

Um and so yeah, we like, you know, we'd we'd like texted and stuff and and Facebook messaged, um, but it wasn't until the summer of 2024 um that a buddy of ours, um, the a guy by the name of uh John Damiano who fronts the emo night karaoke um group was like uh he reached out, he's like, Hey, have you guys ever considered doing a reunion? He's like, I know all these jersey bands have started to do their reunions, you know. And we were like, uh no, we like we like life has kind of moved on. We we never like fully shut the door on it, but it was just kind of um yeah, we just reached out, we're like, hey, is this still your number? Because I just this guy reached out to me online, he's like, Hey, do you want to do a reunion? Like, I'll help you like set it up. And he did. Um, he helped us set up a show kind of like around Thanksgiving in 2024. And um one show turned into kind of a weekend of sold-out shows, and then we just yeah, we kind of just got back and we were like, Hey, this is really fun. Why don't we try to do it a little bit more? And then friends uh from the West Coast reached out who we had toured with like early on in Tokyo Rose's career, and they were like, Hey, we want to come out east, because we got back together. Yeah, and so they did some shows out east, and then we flew to California, did shows of them out there.

SPEAKER_04 20:56

Nice.

SPEAKER_02 20:57

And then that was in 25. Same thing happened in uh with in Chicago area with uh Park and Junior Varsity, who had gotten back together recently, and then yes, we have had a couple more shows since then, a few shows in Jersey and in Philly, and then we had like a handful of dates with red jumpsuit apparatus. Oh, cool, yeah. Um, which is very cool. You know, those guys we've always kind of bumped into them, but never really did any dates together outside of Warp Tour. You know, they were on like main stage warp tour, and we were kind of in the smaller stages um during those years, and it was really cool to kind of reconnect with those guys and play some shows.

SPEAKER_01 21:34

Yeah, that's awesome. Now I think it's really cool. Like um, so many bands are doing like the well, what's funny to me is because like I I just saw the format like a month or two ago. Also are doing their like twenty da da da and it is almost I'm almost like, well, now like one, like if you come and tour, like I I have money to pay for your tickets. Like twenty years ago, whenever I was nineteen, eighteen, like if your ticket was more than twenty bucks, like I I couldn't afford it. So like it is. It's cool because again, if you're going out to play shows now, you have people who've probably listened to you on and off for 20 years and are like, Man, I never got to see Tokyo Rose play a set. And then a friend is like, Hey, remember how we used to listen to this band all the time? Do you want to go see them together? And they're like, Oh, hell yeah, let's go do that. So it's I love the culmination of all this energy. A lot of bands are able to step into it. And um yeah, I mean, it also then makes you realize that like the music you made matters. So that's also a phenomenal thing.

SPEAKER_02 22:27

Absolutely. It's been, you know, so uh encouraging. You know, it's something that we did in our 20s, you know, never thought that it would anybody would, you know, it kind of got lost in the mix. Yeah. Um, and the fact that people like like I said, there was a Facebook band fan page, and it was like, oh, people, you know, because we thought like when MySpace was done and we were done, it was like we would just get lost in the ether.

SPEAKER_04 22:49

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 22:50

Um, but it was cool. So then we did got to do a 20th anniversary of um our most popular album from uh 2005, and that was really cool because um the record label that put it out was like, hey, like it would be really cool to put it out, but it would be awesome to like give the fans a little bit something extra. Yeah. So we had a couple tracks that never made it on the American release that we got to attack on to the vinyl, which is really fun.

SPEAKER_01 23:14

That's so cool. I I I genuinely just love like uh for a lot of bands like you guys that you can look up and realize the impact that you had. Because I'm a big fan of like the get up kids, all these bands where like you the it at the time you guys didn't get the respect. And then like you started to have families, you all kind of took a break or went in different directions. So, like to watch so many of those bands from the Jersey scene, from Kansas City scene get back together, and people would be like, Yeah, I've loved your music for 20 years, and like, yeah, you have stuff like Facebook now, Instagram where fans can actually communicate a little bit easier versus like yeah, MySpace. No, I I wasn't in any fan pages on MySpace.

SPEAKER_02 23:49

Right, totally. Yeah, no, it's been really cool. And then like to play shows and have people be like, Hey, like I never got to see you, or um, like my my uncle, who's you know, 10 years older, turned me on to you guys, but again, never got to see you. So that's really cool.

SPEAKER_01 24:06

Yeah, yeah. I got to talk to um Andy Jackson from uh Hot Rod Circuit. Hot Rod. Yeah, man, and and he was talking about how like yeah, he like goes and they'll go and play shows or they're starting to put some music out and stuff, and like he'll watch like generations of fans of his music, and he's just like wait, so there's people in their 40s and in their teenage years who like myself. Like it's just so cool.

SPEAKER_02 24:26

It's very cool. And big props to Andy. I mean, we love like we are huge fans of Hot Rod. Yeah, and then you know, when he did uh Terrible Things with Fred, who's been a dear friend of ours for many years, um it was very cool to see them kind of resurface.

SPEAKER_01 24:44

Yeah, it is, and like I I imagine all you guys or some of you guys are in like the same boat of like getting back together and just like I I don't know, um if you guys are healthy and get along well enough which we can play some shows, how lucky is that? So some of it is just like here's this moment. If you guys still like each other and you can remember how to play these songs and you can play a show, that's awesome, man. That's cool.

SPEAKER_02 25:07

Yeah. Yeah, it's been really cool, you know, to like go through that old stuff and you know, bury whatever hatchets there could have been, you know, time definitely heals a lot of those wounds. Um, but then to like get to write new music too, um, that's been really fun.

SPEAKER_01 25:23

Yeah. How was it to like get back into that mentally? Because like, I mean, you've got a kid now, you work a full-time job, which being a teacher is not that casual of a job. How was it to get back into creative mental space to be like, hey, I'm gonna start writing songs again?

SPEAKER_02 25:35

Yeah, I think um it was just really being intentional about like setting aside time. Yeah, you know, trying to write a little bit each day, trying to, you know, spend a little bit of time just like fleshing out music. Um, you know, I haven't really been creative, you know, in many years. So to like dust stuff off from the vault, you know, and then to like remember how to play my guitars, you know. Um, because a lot of us, you know, will like have gotten rid of that stuff. Yeah. You know. Um a lot of guys these days too like travel with like a really small rig, a really small digital rig. So like just trying to like get that all working, making sure it like you know, there's integrity to it.

SPEAKER_01 26:20

Um it's been fun. Yeah. I I think uh Jake Snyder from Minus the Bear say, because they took a pretty long break. He sold a bunch of his pedals. Because he was just like, all right, man, I'm gonna I'm switching, I'm switching modes basically, and like I've just got all these pedals sitting around the house, and now he's like, I wouldn't have sold all these pedals.

SPEAKER_02 26:39

Totally. Totally. And now those pedals are, you know, I just I just watched this video on um my bloody Valentine and their rigs, you know. Their rigs were like in the 10,000s back then, so now they're like worth like 40 and 50,000 to try to get those same pedals and all the processors. So yeah, I can feel that.

SPEAKER_01 26:58

Also, as someone who like studied music business, recording nerd, all that stuff. Like, I I hear what you're saying with like um you're trying to figure out how to tour place shows now with what the modern age is. Whenever, like in my head, it is a half stack, you got the Marshall head stack, you got an orange head stack, you got 20 pedals in front of you, and you're playing a 200 watt amp in a venue that holds 200 people. And it's like you don't you actually don't need this much power anymore, but some part of me feels like that's integrity. And it's like, no, you're fine. Like, adapt, you'll be okay.

SPEAKER_02 27:28

Exactly. My my back thanks me for going digital every time.

SPEAKER_01 27:32

Yeah. Dude, man, yeah, because I have some friends who, yeah, their pedal board is like a legitimate road case. It's it's a briefcase that probably weighs 100, 150 pounds, and uh and has like a self-contained power source also inside of it, stuff like that. And I'm just like, absolutely, that's a lot.

SPEAKER_02 27:50

Yeah, yeah. The band from California that we toured with back then and did a couple dates with Al West, beautiful mistake. Um, their guitar their bass player played guitar for many years in a couple other bands, but he uses the same exact rig for bass. Like it's like it's almost like two pedal boards, you know. Yeah. And like like the bass version of each pedal board, of each pedal. So he travels with both of them, you know, it's it's huge. It's bigger than like the edges pedal board.

SPEAKER_01 28:20

Yep, dude, that's insane. That's um that's cool. I have always stayed away from guitar pedals a lot. I try to buy an amp in which I trust the sound of it because especially having three kids, like it's I'm not gonna how do I convince my wife, like, hey, need another $300 pedal? And she's like, why? And I'm like, because it's pretty. Like, that's not I don't I don't know. I I could probably figure out how that conversation, but I don't. That's I I feel silly even saying it in this moment, you know?

SPEAKER_02 28:48

Yeah, no, I hear you. I've kind of gotten that way with guitars. I like downsized massively, and now I'm kind of accumulating more, you know, just to like be able to have that specific sound, especially going into the studio.

SPEAKER_01 29:02

Yeah, definitely. Yeah, I just found like um I really like semi-hollow bodies, so I have to not Google search semi-hollow bodies too much. Because like I only have a telecaster semi-hollow body. So I'd like I don't have a Gibson semi-hollow body, and it's like, Devin, stop it. Don't stop Googling it. Stop, stay off Facebook Marketplace, man. You don't need this.

SPEAKER_02 29:20

Oh man, I was on it today, you know? Like looking at uh a like a a Les Paul with P90s, because I've never had a Les Paul with P90s.

SPEAKER_01 29:30

Yeah, you know. But what if you yeah, and it's it's interesting because like in my head, I think the the lie I can tell myself is well, if I had this guitar, what could I create? And it's like you've already got great, you've already got cool stuff, man. Just try it with what you got. Like, do that. So I don't know if you ran into that ever, but sometimes I'm like, well, if I just had this pedal, if I just had this guitar, think of what I could do. And it's like, you can already do it with what you got, man.

SPEAKER_02 29:54

Totally. It's all there, you know. Uh who was saying that? I was talking to somebody else last night. He's like, as many pedals as you get, a lot of it is still in the fingers, right? So pretty much. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 30:05

How um for like writing new music, how did you find the mental space to do that? Would you like playing time in the morning, time after like kid went to bed or something like that? How'd you actually figure that out?

SPEAKER_02 30:15

Yeah, you know, um we're at our po we're at a point in our like marriage where like we have different shows. You know, there's some shows that we have to watch together on time, you know. Um, but then we have different shows. And um my wife loves Gray's Anatomy, which is still going. Yeah. So I'll we'll well she'll have a backlog of Grey's Anatomy to go through. And um, I'll just, you know, I'll have an hour maybe you know, once a week to just like really just sit with head with headphones on, just trying to put stuff together.

SPEAKER_01 30:44

Okay. Yeah. Do you normally what um is it since you had since it was kind of a dormant part of your personality, what did you have to get back into the rhythm of doing more? Was it just playing guitar on a regular basis? Or because I'm assuming you write all the lyrics as well.

SPEAKER_02 30:59

Yeah. Yeah, I think it was a little bit of both, you know, just like making sure my hands aren't getting tired, you know, and then um one I I recently got a jazz master because I was like, I really want to kind of update my playing and make it more modern slash Midwestern. And um, you know, uh so doing a little bit of that with the Grey's Anatomy time slot or um, you know, uh writing lyrics too. It's like, ooh, like I I often I'll write something and then I'll send it to our bass player like, hey, this is what I'm thinking. I know we're like an emo van, so this this actually isn't a breakup song, is this too political? You know, like I'll bounce off ideas off them more because it's like I forget how to write a good song, you know, and he's he's he's a really good sounding board. Nice.

SPEAKER_01 31:48

Well, it it's funny to like now that I'm I'm 39 and like normally the lyrical content I'm looking for, I listen to a lot more Americana writers. So like Jason Isabel, Josh Ritter, all these guys were singing more about like the hardships of everyday life. Like, I'm not looking for a breakup anthem anymore.

SPEAKER_00 32:05

Or if I am, my life is really falling apart.

SPEAKER_01 32:08

So like I know it's out there if I need it, but like do you have you felt any of that yet where you're like what lyrically what you feel in tune with is so drastically different than whenever you were 20 years younger?

SPEAKER_02 32:18

Absolutely, you know, and being being a dad, like I'm a I'm a boy dad, but like a lot of times if I'm writing like a rom like a song with romance behind it, it's like I want it to be something that not that I'm like demonizing anybody, you know, but that I'm like kind of writing from the lens of like, what if I was that girl's dad? You know, like how would I want her to be described? And um, yeah, and you know, I I think a lot of like again, a lot of the best emo and pop punk and and best songs are come from heartbreak. The best a lot of art comes from pain, you know, the best art comes from pain. But I think pain comes in different ways, right? And people experience pain in different ways, and whether it's from you know, just everyday life. Um I think, you know, without I was talking with some other guys, you know, who are like reuniting and stuff, and they're like, well, like I don't want to write about like you know, getting a colonoscopy, even though like we're like But that's your real life, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 33:20

And also you should get one. It's very responsible to get one.

SPEAKER_02 33:23

Absolutely, very responsible, especially like in the mid-40s age, you know, the earlier the better. Yeah. But it's like, how do we write about everyday life without it being so blatantly silly?

SPEAKER_01 33:36

Or just isolating like so many, like, yeah, if you can figure it, I feel like the only way to do a colonoscopy song would be to make it super jokester, like super like sarcastic and like meh, this is my life today type of like energy, but like that's that's I love some niche song stuff. That's a little too much, even for me.

SPEAKER_02 33:57

Yeah, absolutely. You know, it's um to I think the band that had done it the the best in our kind of genre is the um bowling for soup, you know, because they have taken it and they've taken it, you know, overboard, but also like it's still really catchy, you know, and really fun. Like they're still doing it. So yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 34:20

Yep, they are. But no, that's I mean, like, I don't know, man. I've been married for 13 years now, been in relationships or in the same relationship since 2008. Like, I'm not like pining after a girl. I'm not like a girl's not breaking my heart. I'm not look like it's not the same. Whereas like I always loved emo music in like the early 2000s because like I felt like there were bands that were saying, like, get the girl back. I never had the girl. Like, how do I get a girl to notice me in the first place? So like all the boy bands and stuff were like, I need you back. And it's like, I never she never noticed me. How do I like I can't have her back? So totally, totally, man.

SPEAKER_02 34:57

And it's uh, you know, there there are different different ways to write those yearning, those longing songs. And maybe it isn't um at you know, at this stage in life, maybe it isn't the girl, it isn't the relationship, maybe it's like financial freedom or you know, like the freedom to do like what you're passionate about. Um so yeah, there's a slight, you know, yeah, a slight twist.

SPEAKER_01 35:21

Yeah. Do you have you ever listened to much uh David Bazan like he was Pedro the Lion or he has Pedro the Lion? Not since Pedro the Lion. Okay. He so he did uh Pedro the Lion for a long time and then took a break when he deconstructed Religion Super Hard and did um David Bizon like solo stuff. And he has this one and now he's back to doing Pedro the Lion. Um but he um has this one album called Care, which is just about everyday life stuff. Like literally, one of the songs is about um him have like basically it's like him him and his wife both end up at the kitchen during the daytime when the kids are out of the house, and they're both just like, oh, I didn't expect to run into you right now. Um yeah, mentally I'm somewhere else, but I like you and I would like to connect. So let me let me mentally shift. So it's like those moments, which are to me, that's real life. Is you walk up and you're like, Oh yeah, oh you're getting coffee right now. Oh, I'm also getting coffee right now. Oh, I like you. You like me. Oh, you have to run to a meeting. Okay. This was connection. Okay, cool. This is different than I ever thought it would look like.

SPEAKER_02 36:19

That's awesome. I love that. I think you know, my wife and I, um, our our kid plays little league, so he has like practices like almost every night of the week or games, and it's like, oh, we have like an hour and a half hour to kill. Like, why don't we just like get a you know, an ice cream and sit and and look at the water and just reconnect, you know, and it's like a just like a little mini date that an unexpected mini date.

SPEAKER_01 36:44

Yep. That's I'm a believer of those moments more than big moments. Like, I love doing a fancy dinner. I love going on a big trip. Like, that's awesome, that's cool. I got three kids, that's not realistic for you to do on a regular basis. So I I love the everyday moments where you look up, like uh we do our best, like at the end of the day, whenever kids are in bed, meaning like in their beds but not asleep still for like three hours to like not turn the TV on until we've at least asked a little bit about each other's day. Because it's so easy just to turn on the TV and not talk, right? And just be like, we're good, right? I'll just turn on a show, we'll be fine. And it's it's a lot of intentionality to not lean into the comfort that can come with that.

SPEAKER_02 37:24

100%. Absolutely. It can just be so routine, yeah. That uh yeah, you gotta step out of it to yeah, to connect and you know to yeah, really like retune.

SPEAKER_01 37:35

Yeah, pretty much. But it is also really fun to be at a point of marriage in which she's like, I need to watch Grey's Anatomy, and you're like, Cool, I'm gonna go play guitar for an hour. And you both are like, this is good for both of us. Go do it. Yes, absolutely. How's it feel to be like a baseball dad? Did you grow up caring about baseball or sports? It all seems like your son's really into it.

SPEAKER_02 37:55

Yeah, you know, um, I grew up a Mets fan, so for better or for worse, it's kind of made me who I am. And um, yeah, we're just kind of he's like super into it. He's like into stats and stuff and loves playing it. Um he knows more stats than I do at this point. Um so our our summer vacation, you know, we're we're both teachers, so our summer vacation is gonna be going to from Jersey to Pittsburgh, yeah, and then Cincinnati and Chicago, seeing baseball games, you know, and then some art galleries and architectural tours and stuff in between, seeing family as well or old friends, but mostly around baseball.

SPEAKER_01 38:36

That's cool. Have you ever done an architecture tour in Chicago? Like where you go in like the river and stuff? It's it's actually really cool.

SPEAKER_02 38:43

Yeah, that's what like like a dream of my wife. So um, yeah, that's what we're gonna do this summer in Chicago. And then I g I get to go we get to go to Wrigley on the 4th of July. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 38:54

Oh, dude, that's cool.

SPEAKER_02 38:56

Yeah, very cool. And then the Obama um presidential library is open. Oh, nice. And my wife got us tickets for my birthday. So that's cool. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 39:06

Yeah. Have you spent much time in Chicago? I I love Chicago. I I grew up in Indiana, so like uh we would go there. Like I've I've been to Llapalooza. We would go there like every other year, something like that. So I Chicago is like one of my favorite major cities, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 39:19

I haven't spent too much time there. I mean, I've played many shows in Chicago and the surrounding area in the in the suburbs.

SPEAKER_03 39:25

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 39:25

Um, but no, not too much time. So I'm excited to you know see what we'll find.

SPEAKER_01 39:30

Yeah. If you do the last time I did an architectural tour where you like you get on a boat and you go like through the city and stuff, it's like you do a tour of like the I don't know if you call it a canal, the river. I don't I'm not sure. There's a correct term that Chicagoan will correct me on. And then you go out on Lake Michigan and you see like, you know, the pier, you see the skyline and everything, and then you come back in. And it is I feel so old like looking forward to those things. But you know what? It's cool, it's legitimately cool.

SPEAKER_02 39:56

Absolutely. I mean, you know, my wife is a huge Frank Lloyd Wright fan. And she studied architecture in undergrad, so it's very much like, yeah, it's a dream. So and I'm just gonna enjoy it because she's gonna enjoy it so much.

SPEAKER_01 40:10

Yeah. And if you're going to Wrigley, like Clark and Addison is kind of where Wrigley is, and like Clark Street is like filled with restaurants. There's tons of stuff to walk around and see. And like, I had a friend who lived in Wrigleyville for a while, so like we'd go to his house or his apartment, not his house, and then like just walk down the street and see if Wicked Scalp tickets. Once again, 2010, 2011, 2012.

SPEAKER_00 40:31

I don't know how that works anymore.

SPEAKER_01 40:33

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 40:34

Yeah. I don't know. I think uh my wife has uh gone ahead and purchased tickets for that show for that game because it's 4th of July. Um but yeah, like we're going to Pittsburgh, so we're gonna try to catch I think it's the Reds are playing in Pittsburgh, and then we're not gonna see the Reds in Cincinnati because they're not home when we're in Cincinnati.

unknown 40:57

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 40:58

That's cool. I I think it's really fun to like whenever your kids get into something, to be like, you know what, it's summer, this is our time to do a vacation. Let's figure out something. And like going to like I live in Denver, so like the Rockies aren't a that good of a team, but like it's always fun to go to a Rockies game because it's an event and it's baseball's such a chill environment to be a part of, from my experience with it.

SPEAKER_02 41:18

Yeah, absolutely. And there's all you know, so many of the newer stadiums have like a fan, a kid-friendly fan fest to do. Yeah, that's exciting.

SPEAKER_01 41:27

Yeah, it is. Um for like playing shows and stuff, like how's that work with you like being a dad? Do you try to like and working? Do you try to plan them more for like the summer? Are you still playing shows like while you're still working a job while you're still like working a school schedule?

SPEAKER_02 41:41

So we try to keep it pretty local, like on a on a weekend. And you know, we haven't done too much where it's like overwhelming and we're not seeing our families. Yeah. Um so uh yeah, we kind of reserve the kind of extended time for the summer. Okay, you know, and kind of building it around each of our summer vacations. Um Chris's wife, our bass player's wife, is also a teacher, so you know, we're all kind of like staggering the the weeks that we take and then being able to kind of like converge. I think end of July we have like a a weekend, and then uh middle of August or maybe end of August before we all go back to school. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 42:25

Yep. How's it to get back on stage and play for people again? How what's it like to get back in tune with that energy? Because it's a very distinct energy to get in front of people, have people cheering and sing along the songs. How's it feel to get back into that?

SPEAKER_02 42:38

Yeah, you know, um it's not so so I teach preschool and I've taught uh like preschool, so there's a very much a performance aspect to that. Um and uh yeah, you know, some of the terminology, you know, I can call people silly goose from the stage. Um and I think it it it usually works. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 42:59

I've I've talked to a couple people who um there's a guy named uh he goes by like the stage name of Mr. Jeff. He does kids music, he's based out of Ohio. And I was like, okay, besides doing kids music, what do you do? And he was like, Well, I do like a wedding cover band because it pays pretty well. I was like, what's it like going from playing for kids to playing for drunk adults? And he was like, I probably shouldn't say this. It's not that different sometimes. It's not that different. Nope, absolutely. The attention span, yeah, for sure. Yep. You said let's jump, let's all jump, and everyone's like, yeah, jump is a good idea.

SPEAKER_00 43:31

Yeah, let's do that. Let's do that.

SPEAKER_01 43:33

Right. Yep. Um as far as like new music goes, did you guys release a new album? This I want to make sure you have a chance to talk about like new music you just put out and everything. Have you put out new music recently?

SPEAKER_02 43:44

Uh so yeah, we've dropped uh two singles from an EP that's gonna come out later this summer. Um we back in January we released Something Sweeter, which was the first single off of the EP. And then in April we released Ugly comes out. And they're kind of um they're kind of sister songs. Um like when I wrote those songs, they were I I dreamed of them being two sides of a seven inch.

SPEAKER_03 44:11

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 44:11

Um and it's they're actually relationally based, um, you know, about someone who uh, you know, you were you really had a thing for, and then the other side is like having been in a relationship with that person and seeing someone's true colors. Yeah. Um and our social media has talked about it a little bit, but you know, it was intended to be a seven-inch, but uh when we had this opportunity to record an EP, um, we decided to put it on the EP. Um, and then there's three other songs that are gonna join the EP that are gonna come out with the EP in uh July 24th.

SPEAKER_01 44:49

Sweet. How's it? I feel like releasing music now was such a different game, also, where it was like, you record the songs, yeah, I know you release a single, then you release the EP. Now it's like a waterfall. Like, there's all these different terms now for releasing music where I'm just like, I just don't, but it's so freaking hard for people to find your music and creative work that I'm just like, it's such a different game. It's gotta be exhausting at the same time.

SPEAKER_02 45:11

It's so tricky, and I think um, you know, because we're of a certain age, like we haven't really taken to social media the way we probably should, or the way that people say you should in this day, yep, um, and age. So it's kind of it's a little bit trickier. Um the label that we're um going with is called Manicat Records, um, and they're very much into like the kind of the old 2000s, late 90s, like punk and emo um aesthetic and kind of just principles of putting out like copies of music, putting out CDs, putting out vinyl, um, and that we still go digital, um, but they understand that you know social media isn't gonna be our foot in the door.

SPEAKER_04 45:59

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 45:59

Um, you know, like uh they have a couple acts who are a bit younger and like they're constantly on there. And props to them because yeah, social media is is a full-time job. It's a full-time job.

SPEAKER_01 46:11

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 46:11

And not only is it a full-time job, but you kind of need somebody to have a full-time job documenting you. Because, you know, like if you're do going about your day, it's hard to do the selfie thing. Um, you know, and then on top of that, you have to to edit and and do all that fun stuff and post. So it's yeah, it's tricky.

SPEAKER_01 46:30

It is. I'm with you. And I'm like, I'm always just like, I don't know, man. From speaking from a podcast podcast standpoint, it's like, I think if you find this, you'll like it a lot. And that's all I really know. I'm sure you feel the same for your music. It's like, hey, I'm really proud of this. And like, if you find this music, hopefully you like it a lot. And um algorithm the algorithms gods, please shine upon me today is basically the prayer I offer every day. Absolutely.

SPEAKER_02 46:54

Yeah, and if it doesn't, you know, it was fun to do. And uh yeah.

SPEAKER_01 46:59

Yeah, pretty much. But it is um it's a very different game. And yeah, I know like people have like substacks to promote it, or they'll do substacks to do like the demos for the song and like all that. And I'm just like, if you're creating a community and people feel part of the community, that's awesome. That's great. It's real freaking hard these days.

SPEAKER_02 47:17

Oh yeah, yeah. And I think, you know, the only way that we knew how to do it back then was to just be on the road, you know, 200 dates a year.

SPEAKER_04 47:25

Yep.

SPEAKER_02 47:26

So um, yeah, we try to make a thing of it. If we if we play a show, like we're there, you know, from like as early as you can be there till closing, you know, and like we try to hang out with as many people as we can um in that time. But it's uh because as much as you can be on socials, it's it, you know, there is uh an essence missing, right? Yeah. In the connection.

SPEAKER_01 47:51

Or yeah, you um what's the best way to put this? It it's uh I I know a lot of musicians who will do the video that's basically like, hey, I'm about to post a good video of me playing guitar because I want the algorithm to like me. Please know that like just listen, like I would love for you to listen to my music and connect with it. And here's me being honest about like here's the game I have to play. So like seriously, if you can if you can buy a vinyl, if you can come out to a show, seriously, please do because this is how like I'm not even doing this because it's fun. I'm doing it because if I don't, the algorithm hides everything. So like so just please notice me. And it's I hate whenever I have to live into the energy that's like, please just notice I exist. It's like, well, that's not a version of myself I want to be, but it's a game you gotta play. Yeah, 100%. So it's all fun. Um okay, I'll probably start wrapping up. Um, how I end every episode is ask every guest a series of five questions. They're pretty chill, and um, you have time to think about them. Awesome. Cool. So for the first question, this one I'm actually always fascinated to ask people who adopted their kid. Um, did you have any backup names for your kid? Or like what was the story of naming your child whenever you met him in the hospital before you took him home?

SPEAKER_02 49:01

Yeah, you know, uh I was messing around with sounds and letters, and um we had hoped to adopt um anybody, you know, we uh it was gonna be other uh either a girl or a boy. Um and we had the name Elizabeth picked out uh picked out for a girl, and um we're both um we're both Christians and have studied the Bible quite a bit. Um, and so we wanted the name of a prophet for um uh the boy. Um, you know, we we took Elizabeth from Jesus' birth story, his aunt. Um, and then uh we were looking at Hezekiah or Ezra um as you know, major prophets and priests in the go in the Bible, and we settled on Ezra, and then we when we met him, we were like, You are Ezra, absolutely.

SPEAKER_01 49:56

Yeah. I think of all the prophet names, Ezra is the one that doesn't make you people question if you're part of an Amish commune, you know? Yes. Yeah. Yeah. Jedediah being one of them. Jedediah, I feel like uh Habakka, you know, like there's so many just yeah, where you're just like, I can't even tell you what happens in this Old Testament book, but here you are being named after it. Absolutely. Ezra's an awesome name. I I I feel like it's uh I've I've met a couple Ezra's now, and I'm like, oh, this is this is a cool name. So well done. Yeah. Cool. Um next question Do you have a favorite TV or movie dad? Or one that comes to mind whenever I asked that question? Oh, that's so good.

SPEAKER_02 50:37

Yeah. That is a great question. Um I feel like when I pictured myself as a dad as a kid, I always thought I'd be a cool dad. You know, I always thought I'd be like Danny Tanner, or, you know, um who is the dad from Boy Meets World?

SPEAKER_01 50:57

Oh, I can't think of it. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 50:59

Yeah. You know, um that guy. Um or you know, I but now I as I realize I'm a little bit like more strict, I'm more like the dad from The Wonder Years. Yep. Um, you know. Yeah, yep. Yeah. And now that my kids are getting older too, it's like, am I more like the dad from that 70s show who's just like I can't believe you're this dumb, you know, sometimes.

SPEAKER_01 51:26

Yep. It it is Red Foreman, is like, I feel like Red Foreman's the type of TV dad where like, I don't want to relate to how he parented, but I'm totally relating to how he parents. Just being like, Why are you being such a why are you being such an idiot? And you're like, Yeah, oh, but sometimes you do need to hear that you're being an idiot. So I'm just trying, I'm trying to love him. That's what I'm trying to do. Right, absolutely. That's all I I've I bet most dads go through that journey though. Like, I'm gonna be cool, I'm not gonna have any rules. And then you're like, well, I want you to be a decent person, so I have to set up boundaries and barrier and like things for you to like live within. And then you're like, oh, well, definition of a cool dad is a cool dad, he's cool with everything, nothing matters. And it's like, that's an awful father. Yeah. Yeah. Too permissible. Too permissible, man. You get, I mean, yep, pretty much. Um next question. Since you're a pre-K teacher, also this will be a fun one. What's your replacement curse word? What do you say instead of cursing whenever you get really mad or like you stub your toe or something like that?

SPEAKER_02 52:25

Yeah. Oh, that's a good one. Um I think uh my son has picked up on this. Uh biscuits is one of them. Biscuits is good. Yeah. And I I mean I feel so Ned Flanders-y, but bit it it's gotta be biscuits.

SPEAKER_03 52:41

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 52:41

Okally dokali. It's also like uh in bluey, it's the like replacement curse word in blue. They say, oh, biscuits all the time, which I think your son is too old for bluey. Right. But but trust me, biscuits is a consistent answer for this because of people saying, ah, biscuits. Right. Yeah. Yeah. It works. Um, next question. What's like one of your favorite activities or like toys that you do with your son?

SPEAKER_02 53:07

Uh so recently, I this Christmas he got Tetris board game, yeah, which I didn't know existed. You know, I've seen like the backyard kind of rocking one, but this is like pretty much a grid, and you drop the tiles in. That's been really fun, and it's been really cool to see his creativity and kind of working that out. Um, we also just, you know, he's such a baseball kid. We love just throwing the ball around. And yeah, um, my my favorite prompts of his growing up was like, hey, Dad, can you do what they do on the baseball like program? And I'm like, what is that? He's like, you know, just like talk baseball really fast. So he gets me to like be the commentator.

SPEAKER_01 53:49

That's amazing. Yeah, it's really fun. And here's Ezra's windup. He's walking up to the mound, here he is, he looks off the first baseman. Like, that's that's awesome.

unknown 53:59

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 54:00

I love whenever like um those moments happen because it's like uh your kid creating a role for you to play in a game. And I feel like whenever a kid is like, play with me, I'm like, what is that? Like, how I don't know. And like, whenever they're like, be the commentator for the game, I'm like, oh, I got this character. Let's do this. Yeah, let's do it. That's awesome. Yeah, I try to do my best, um, Bob Euchre, but I don't really have it. No, I don't, I don't either. Or like, and even trying to do like a Harry Carey voice is just offensive to the memory of Harry Carey. Right, right. Rest in power. Rest in power, man. Um and then last question. Um, what's like if you had to give someone parenting advice or like advice about being a dad or anything like that, what's like a reflection you'd want to communicate to them or something you'd want to tell them? Take it easy. Like, it's not that serious, you know.

SPEAKER_02 54:48

I think. Because often I find myself being like, wait, it really is serious. Maybe I should be taking it more seriously, but um he's he's turning out alright. Yeah. Even if you know I let it slack.

SPEAKER_01 54:59

It it's easy to overanalyze your day-to-day actions. It's easy to overanalyze and be like, well, if I was a little more buttoned up here, so if I was a little tighter here, and it's like, your kid's fine. Calm it down.

SPEAKER_02 55:10

Yeah. Yeah. No, he's a good dude. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 55:14

Turned in being a pretty good dude. Yeah. That's cool. But he is, is he also a Mets fan though?

SPEAKER_02 55:19

He is, which I you know, I've apologized to him about. It's like you you were born into it just the same way I'm a Liverpool fan, you know, married into it.

SPEAKER_01 55:28

But at least Liverpool knows how to win. That's the you know, like, so that's I mean when was last time I mean, when was the last time the Mets won a World Series? Not since 1986. Yeah.

unknown 55:40

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 55:40

You've been in like two or three since, you know, like a couple. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 55:44

Yep, exactly. Lost the Yankees and uh lost to the the Royals. Yep. So yeah, but I mean that that's typical Mets fashion from you know from my lifetime.

SPEAKER_01 55:55

Yes. Are you guys excited for the um Knicks? Because I mean, isn't the the final start like the or did that game already start? Man, I haven't even looked at it yet. I gotta get up on that.

SPEAKER_02 56:04

I think it just started, and um, we are excited. You know, it's been since so in my memory, it's you know, we had 93 or 94 and then we had 99. Yeah. Um I was a big Knicks fan in '93, '94. Um, you know, you had to be if you were gonna like rival Michael Jordan and you know. Yeah. So I think it's just been um it's been pain there too, and they wear the orange and blue as well. So um I've tried not to share the Knicks fandom with him because I I don't want him to be too downtrodden.

SPEAKER_01 56:36

Yep. I'm uh originally from Indiana, so last year watching the Pacers was one of the most ridiculous and heartbreaking, devastating things I've ever watched in my life. So I'm just gonna say that like seeing how the Pacers beat the Knicks the last two years in the postseason, this has to be your year. When B is a monster, but like if you guys don't do it this year, I worry if you'll ever be able to do it. So fingers crossed.

SPEAKER_02 57:00

Yeah, you know, I mean the Spurs deserve to be here. That's been hard fought, but I don't know, the Knicks have have something this year. Like they can put their foot on the gas and um hopefully keep it on the gas.

SPEAKER_01 57:11

Yeah. And honestly, for Mike Brown to finally win a championship as a head coach, dude is dude has put in the work. I would love to see him actually get a championship. Yeah, he deserves it. He does. Anyway, besides Knicks, basketball and stuff, um, last thing is just like moment for self-promotion. So if we want to find your music, Instagram, anything like that, just do some self-promotion, more than you already have, you know?

SPEAKER_02 57:32

Yeah, thanks. I mean, you know, we are on the socials. Um, it's at Tokyo Rose and J. Um, there have been, I want to say a dozen Tokyo Roses throughout um history of music and recorded audio. Um, so we are not the first, but so to kind of define and distinguish ourselves, we've we've been Tokyo Rose and J for most of uh the band's life. So we might we're just that on the socials, um, Insta, on YouTube, on TikTok, which we don't frequent, but um, you know, we will post from there. We've done um, you know, we've done a good amount of podcasts. Thanks to everybody for listening. Yeah um yeah, Riverside's such a fantastic platform too.

SPEAKER_01 58:19

It's so it's so convenient. Thanks for sharing your story with me. Thanks for letting me talk to you about Fatherhead, music, creativity, and all that. Dude, thank you so much. I really appreciate it. I'm glad we got to do it because I know it was like timing and everything. Yeah. I just heard my family walk back in from the playground. So I'm gonna go see what chaos awaits me upstairs. Cool, man. Devin, thank you so much. Dude, thank you, Ryan. I really appreciate it, man. Awesome. Take care. Have a good one. Bye to you.

unknown 58:43

Bye.

SPEAKER_01 58:50

Thank you so much for listening to the episode. Make sure to follow us on Instagram, TikTok, and YouTube at the Imperfect Dads Podcast. And make sure to give us five stars where every listen to us. Music, editing, and production is all done by me. Make sure to tune in on Mondays and most Thursdays for episodes. This podcast is part of the Never at Phase Network. Make sure to go to NeverAfesNetwork.com to learn more about 'em.