Ep: 1 - I'm baaaack! Welcome to the Abbey Daw Pod

Episode 1 is about introducing the podcast and why I decided to come back and share my voice in this way. I hope you continue to come each week and feel inspired to become your own muse. I am so glad you're here!

Follow me on instagram @abbeydaw

Email with questions: abbey@abbeydaw.com

Visit Abbey's website for more information on her services and offerings.
www.abbeydaw.com

Social Media:
Instagram: @abbeydaw
TikTok: @abbeydawesome

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:22

Testing, testing, one, two, three. Hi guys. I don't even know how to start a podcast. I don't know the cool way to start one. So this is how I'm starting it. So bear with me. And this is a podcast about being unapologetically you, being a unapologetically me. And so you know what? I'm gonna speak even if I have a shaky voice. I'm gonna speak even if I mess up because I'm not here to filter myself. And it's all about being authentically expressed. So I'm back. I did do a podcast what felt like many moons ago, but it just wasn't the right time for me. And I paused it and I didn't even really know what message I wanted to completely share. There was a lot inside of me. I was still holding back from speaking over the years, especially over the last decade. I realized as each year went on, I actually hid my voice more and more. And I wasn't even realizing I was doing it until somebody actually pointed it out to me. Actually, a few people. So I'm like, you know what? It's time. It's time to share my authentic voice in hopes that whomever is listening, whether you're a stranger and you don't even know who I am, or you love me, or you love me a lot, or you're a bestie, or you're a friend, or you've taken my classes. I'm just glad you're here. And I hope that either I can make you laugh, cry, happy, inspired, clear, transformed, or just overall, I want you to feel good. I hope that I don't bore you, but you know, that could happen too. These episodes are going to be short and sweet. And just come along with me. This is season one, episode one of the brand new version of the Abby Dah podcast. Now, why the Abby Dah Podcast? Well, because if I want to be authentically expressed, I really like my name. I think it it just sounds it just sounds good. I like my name. And whenever anyone else says my name, they always add my last name to it. So I decided to name my podcast the Abigail Podcast for that reason. Also, the subtitle of this, the whole reason why I'm doing it, is all about becoming our own muse. Realizing that nothing outside of us really is gonna hold the answers for you. It's all inside of you. That beautiful unknown space that I would call the universe inside you. So this is all about authentic expression. It's all about becoming more and more who we are every single day. And while I'm on this mic, I hope to become more and more of me every day. That's the whole point. More and more authentically expressed, more and more just my own voice, my own true voice. So that's what why I'm doing it. I'm doing it because I haven't had a space to really share my voice in the way I want to in a while. And that little inner girl inside of me wants me to do it too. I'm sharing her voice. Her voice that was silenced. And even that little girl in me that hasn't given herself permission to take up space. I'm taking up space. I know the podcast world has what feels like 3,799 trillion voices, but my voice fits too. And I even question do I do a podcast? There's so many of them. And this ultimately really isn't for anybody else but for me. So why the hell wouldn't I? So let's get started. Officially, welcome to my living room because that's where I am right now on a Friday evening. The sun is about to go down, and it just feels cozy, and there's a nice vibe in here, and my dog is laying at my feet, and I'm drinking my raspberry sherbet olipop because I love beverages. I am wrapped in my minky blanket, and just happy to be here with a bag of chips by my side, ruffles, cheddar and sour cream to be exact. Those are my guilty pleasure. So that's where I'm at. And the sun is just peeking through the windows, and it just feels good. So I wanted to do a podcast when things just felt calm. So a little bit about me, if you have no idea who I am. I am a mom. I have a daughter. She's almost eight. Our birthdays are two days apart. Her name's May. I love her so much. I love being a mom. I am a part of the LGBTQ community. I'm an openly gay lesbian woman. However, I'm not really someone that needs to label myself that much anymore. I just love who I love. But I'm a big advocate for any marginalized community. And I also have been teaching for over two decades. I started off in the fitness industry. I worked in the gyms from 1999 to officially being done in 2014. And then somewhere in there, I merged with the mindfulness, wellness, yoga industry. And then when COVID happened, I started my own business. I at the time was going through a really, really, really hard time. I was getting divorced. I was battling postpartum. Meanwhile, before that, I had pretty much left a community, a space where I lived that I had poured my heart and soul in. I was on this road of becoming an entrepreneur. The last decade is just in a lot of ways so blurred for me, but it is also the decade where I started to really dim my voice, silence myself, hide myself because of everything that was happening. But once I started my business, I feel like I started to emerge more. But then that's, you know, being a business owner is really stressful. It's amazing. There are so many benefits to it, but it is also a road that you are just living in the uncertainty. You're not just waiting in it, you are living in it. You're not just putting your big toe in it from time to time. The uncertainty is your constant companion. So it tends to wear on you from time to time, and you feel like you're surviving a lot of the days. But I wouldn't trade it for the world. And my business is turning six on August 30th, 2026. And I have already failed two other businesses. I in 2015 started a yoga studio called Sweat and Soul that really never opened, but I won Entrepreneur of the Year for it. And it was amazing. And I was going to partner up with another yoga studio and eventually take over the entire space of their brand. But then it just didn't work out. So that failed. And then I started another business right before COVID happened. And it was gonna be about using and sharing our voices in a different way. And it was gonna be events called For Her Dream. But then as I was about to launch my first event on April 30th, 2020, we all know what happened, so I couldn't do that. And I was just defeated because I had invested thousands of dollars into my business. And this was after my sweat and soul yoga studio didn't work out either. My my marriage wasn't working out. I was just not my best self. But in those moments, I was being refined to the woman that I am today, and I would not take back any of those experiences. I grew so much, and everything has a purpose. So that's a little bit about me. I'm an as I was saying, I'm an entrepreneur, I'm a mom, I there's so much more to me than that. You know, I'm openly gay, but I'm also so much more than that. And I don't necessarily want to just identify with the parts of me that you can write down on paper. I'm digging in deeper now and letting, like I said, that little inner girl, Abby, shine bright like a beautiful diamond in the sky. I feel like she needs to have a turn to shine and say what she wants to say. So mostly this episode is about introducing myself, but let me just tell you what to expect. The tagline to this is become your own muse. Nothing outside of you can truly give you what you need ultimately, and can't give you the answers. All the answers are inside already, they're already there. And we gotta just stop performing. We gotta stop this performance, and we just gotta start being uh expressed and unapologetically ourselves, authentically expressed, unfiltered, unmasked, just full-on raw and vulnerable. And I hope that I can inspire you to be more like that every day as I continue to share episodes with you guys. But again, it is ultimately about just tuning into ourselves, becoming more and more who we are every single day. And I really do hope I inspire you to heal your life or go on a healing journey if you have not, or maybe just dabbled into it a little bit, because healing yourself slowly heals the world. When one person heals, the whole world heals. I really believe that has such a beautiful snowball effect. So, yeah, that is that. But as I have gone through the last decade, it has been some of the darkest, most excruciating times of my entire life. And kind of what finished it off was last summer, I went through a really intense heartbreak. My heart shattered. And it literally forced me to be completely alone with myself and in that void. The void that is so uncomfortable, the void where we'll reach for a device, or we'll reach for food, or we'll reach for sex, or we'll reach for somebody else to make it better. And I was forced to go to that void at the time that I did not like, but now I would say it's a beautiful space to be. It's a portal of transformation if you're willing to do that, instead of distract and numb away from it, because the void is even though it's scary, if you are willing to go there and stay there, it's actually not that scary. It's beautiful, it's so revealing. And so that happened to me last summer. I really got to know myself on a really deep level. And then I lost my beautiful Ray, my doggie. That was my gentle shadow all the way through that decade. And her death on 1222-25, after I had gone through a really big heartbreak, sort of was that catalyst for deeper integration for me and self-love because she loved me so well and held me so well. She loved me unconditionally. It inspired me to love myself even more unconditionally. And meanwhile, I had been practicing Kabbalah. Kabbalah is a beautiful practice that has been a guide for me over the last two and a half years. I've been learning from a teacher called David Guim, I think that's how you say his last name, or Guyam, but he's the co-founder of Mary Ruth Organics. And if you haven't dived into Kabbalah, I highly recommend you just start. You can go to his website. But that ultimately changed my life. I would walk the park every day and just listen to Kabbalah over the last two and a half years and just pray. I'm a big prayer. And I would ask for that certainty that I was being led in the right direction. And I ultimately got really good at surrendering and finding that resource thing or that resource place within myself when everything else felt out of control. And over time, as 2026 has arrived, I am just seeing a beautiful, beautiful other side of all of that growth. I've always been a seeker. I've always felt like I heard the music underneath the music. I really don't know how it's to say it. By the way, I absolutely love music. I'm a music a holic. And if I go on like these little side tangents, you know, just expect it. But there really is a point to all of this. Yes, I love music. Um, I'm just more me than I've ever been. So this is why I am starting my podcast now. I have so many amazing, beautiful people in my life. If I have learned anything, that when you're willing to heal, upgraded energies start to surround you. People that you would never imagine would be in your life. You just stand in awe. I have more gratitude. I have discovered things about myself that I didn't really know were a part of me until now. I absolutely love to travel. I love to get those stamps on my passport. I have fallen in love with the beautiful country of Costa Rica. I have learned so much in recent travels, especially that I have hidden my vulnerability because I had been afraid if I am vulnerable, I won't be loved. And so that has been something that I'm really wanting to explore within myself as my vulnerable voice. Because I have told myself if I'm vulnerable, again, I'm not loved, I'm not accepted. But it doesn't even matter because if we abandon ourselves for someone else's voice or for someone else's comfort zone, that is traumatizing for your soul. And I have learned that it's okay to take up space, it's okay to be seen, it's okay to be visible. And I hope you feel the same about yourself. I hope that you are willing to give yourself permission to be seen and visible and to share your voice, even if it's shaky. I think it is about permission. Giving ourselves permission to receive without shame and guilt, giving ourselves permission to open our hearts. Given the circumstances or the traumas you've gone through that have told you otherwise, you are already whole and worthy and enough to receive whatever it is you desire. And that is something that Kabbalah has taught me. So if you take anything from this first podcast, and I am a little bit nervous, I hope that you give yourself permission to be more visible, to be seen, to speak even if your voice is shaky, and to walk your true path towards yourself, becoming more and more you every day. Your authenticity is what the world needs. Your craft, your project, your art, your creation, your voice needs to be in the world. And that is what I do best. I work with celebrities, public figures, entertainers, leaders, just high-profile, ambitious folk. And what I've always done, even on the spin bike, as I was a spin instructor, I I always coached people to believe in themselves, to know that they can conquer their dreams, to know that they have a purpose, that despite what their mind is telling them, that they can overcome those thoughts that tell them that they're a piece of shit, that their voice doesn't matter, that they're an imposter. If they can not give those thoughts credit, or put those thoughts in the driver's seat of their life and they can change the narrative, anything is possible. I do believe that anything is possible. Anything is truly possible if you put your mind to it, if you're willing to ask for it and lean into it. And like I said, stay in uncertainty. The uncertainty is, in my opinion, good news that you're moving in the right direction. If you're uncomfortable, that's the invitation to stay there because when you can stay there, that's where the opening eventually happens. And if you're willing to stay in certainty the longest, you will be successful. You will find freedom. And you also have to remember there's never really the perfect time. You just have to do it. You just have to start, start somewhere. Our brains tell us, well, I have to have this A, B, C, and D has to be so linear before I can do this. But I don't believe that. I started my business after I got laid off from my corporate job on a typical Tuesday at 9.05 a.m. The Zoom call happened, and my two bosses got on and said, basically, you're done because we can't keep all these employees anymore. COVID is really making it so that we have to lay off a lot of people, and you're one of them. And I was already living in low income housing at the time because I had just gotten through my divorce. I was already traumatized. I had an 18 month old at the time. She still calls it the hot house because there was literally no air conditioning, but like a little swamp cooler. She really holds that still in her body as a core memory. And we didn't even have a table. And I would make her mac if you hear that in the background, that is my dog. And he has his bone, but whatever. We would I would make her macaroni and cheese, and I would just like sit on the floor with her and eat it. But like that was the beginning. And I had no business starting a business. And now I'm six years in, and I have never had a backup plan. So let that be inspiring for you. And I will leave you with this little story. When I worked in corporate America right before the pandemic happened, I was standing in this soft serve ice cream line on the 4th of July at work with all of my colleagues, and they had announced it over their corporate intercom that they were going to have this ice cream day. And everybody was so excited. And I remember standing there thinking, if if we're so excited about a cone and ice cream, as like that is what we are expected to just take the minimal from the universe, like an ice cream cone when I can literally leave this office and go to McDonald's and buy a 99 cent cone right now if I wanted to. It's like our brains are trained that that's what we accept, those types of scraps. And I just had this out-of-body experience for a moment where it's like, this is not my life that I want. I I have got to start my business. This doesn't work for me. I don't want to be excited about standing in line with 300 other employees in corporate America, living somebody else's dream, waiting for a vanilla swirl, chocolate swirl, ice cream cone, and call that the best part of my day. And so it's let it it it really was my uh it was my why. That was my why and my little girl and little Abby, which you'll see on the front cover of this podcast. I knew I had, I knew there was something more for me. And I never looked back. And I will tell you this: if you pray to whatever it is you believe in, if you believe in yourself, if you heal and you have a dream that you aspire to achieve, just don't give up. You have what it takes to follow that dream. So you will attract amazing people to help you along the way. I do believe we all have angels that are here physically to help us along the way. And I do believe we have angels that are in that invisible 5D realm. I love to live in the 5D realm. We are multidimensional beings, we're in a multidimensional world, but I'm trying to learn how to be in the 3D world and still express from that place that is unseen, because before something becomes physical to the eye, it is not seen to the physical eye. And we create from that place. So I inspire you to create maybe a mood board or something and just start dreaming. What is it that you want your life to look at look like? Journal in the morning, do a five-minute meditation, just start somewhere. I'm gonna leave you right there. Because A, my dog is being loud. He suddenly decided he wants to chew on a bone right at the end of this episode. Boo hoo. Oh well. And that's what I got for you. So I will be posting an episode every week. This is the first one. Thank you so much for coming to this living room of mine. Whether you're driving in your car, you're sitting in your uh at your desk at work, or you are walking. I'm just glad you're here. See you next.