S02E03 The Explain Not Persuade Episode
October 10, 2022
Theresa Destrebecq & Vincent Musolino
- If you were a vegetable, what vegetable would you be?
- Theresa's BIG Reflection Question: How can I have an opinion or take a stand on something, without other people taking in personally, or feeling judged.
- "Strong back soft front." ~Joan Halifax
- Is taking a stand the same as having an opinion?
- How can you care about someone and want to persuade them that you are right?
- Can you take a stand without persecuting someone?
- Values as our stand
- Conversations don't always have to be confrontations
- Be open to NOT wanting to change people's minds
- Persuasion is different than explanation
- "For most of us the opposite of speaking isn't listening, it's waiting" ~Daniel Pink
- Asking people for their sources puts them on the defensive
- Logos (what we say), Ethos (character of person), Pathos (affect we are creating in others)
- How convincing others doesn't work and often doesn't bear fruit
- Judging activities and not people
- Difference between judgment (good/bad) and discernment (like/don't like)
- The importance of the words we use
- Swap good/bad for useful/not useful to be less judgmental
- The lens we see things through
- Divide between consequentialists (duty pound) and utilitarians (principle bound)
- We need to take a stand for things to change
- How relationships shift whether we need to take a stand
- Constructive and destructive anger - fighting to be right, or for what is right
- You can't be fierce in a vacuum
- Our stand doesn't have to be other's stands
- Is making a decision taking a stand?
- Can our world exist without people taking a stand?
- Not just what we do, but the environment, timing, and people matters
- How/where does authority and power come into play
- Dissention among individual contributors doesn't necessarily create change
- Taking a stand when your manager gives you another project
- Not just what you say, but how you say it matters
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