S02E04 The What Does It Mean To Be Humble Episode
October 24, 2022
Theresa Destrebecq & Vincent Musolino
- What personal quality do you know people appreciate about you?
- 3 attitudes - Unconditional Responsibility, Essential Integrity, Ontological Humility
- Ontology - Philosophy related to being, relationships one has to being
- Dividing responsibility starting from 100% doesn't work, each person has 100% responsibility for themselves
- Keeping your word is not the same as honoring your word
- Keeping your word with others sometimes means NOT keeping your word with yourself
- Integrity is different for every person because everyone's values are different
- Humility being pushed, but is it really what people need or expect
- It's all about our mindset - we can see things as a challenge or an opportunity
- You can choose
- When am I saying it was external circumstances, versus my responsibilities
- When feeling overwhelmed, easier to point to external circumstances because feels more overwhelming
- Player and victim - the player takes responsibility, the victim doesn't
- Take responsibility for not knowing
- Circle of concern and circle of influence - when we focus on our circle of concern, we diminish our ability to influence
- We don't have a lot of influence on the "IT", but we do have responsibility for the "I"
- The answer is not to worry about what we can't control
- Trust is important before creating change and influencing others
- Coaching and psychotherapy are about helping people take responsibility
- Society that is very outcome based ("It" based)
- Most effective when we operate from our basic human values
- People can share values, even those values show up differently
- What's the difference between a value and a belief?
- Values versus virtues?
- Operationalizing values - from Brené Brown
- Values are a noun and define something abstract,
- Virtues are like a character trait
- Relativeness of point of view - can we know the truth?
- Employees need to feel safe to make mistakes, so as leaders we need to model it
- Proving our way to success hooks our ego
- Ego gets hooked when focused on external validation
- How we were conditioned to believe we were worthy influences our ego
- Tallest poppy syndrome
- What's so difficult about being humble?
- Opinions being the end of democracy - how can you construct something without values?
- What's bigger than values?
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