The Leader Learner Podcast

S02E18 The Arguing is Fun Episode

May 15, 2023 Theresa Destrebecq & Vincent Musolino Season 2 Episode 18
The Leader Learner Podcast
S02E18 The Arguing is Fun Episode
Show Notes


  • What is one key trait that makes successful people successful?

Big Ideas:

  • Thinking better with other people
  • "We think best when we think socially." 
  • Social constructivism 
  • Group think -- we let loyalty take the place of our thinking
  • Think for yourself, before you think with others
  • Use tools/methods to help people think better
  • Think first, share second - Alone Together
  • When the first person anchors the rest of the sharing
  • Speaking last as a manager
  • Divergent thinking before convergent thinking
  • Giving ideas space - go into a room together to define the problem, brainstorm alone, then back together with all the ideas
  • Diverging first as not being natural
  • Push for convenience and efficiency which gets in the way of the social way of thinking
  • Check-In is seen as a waste of time, yet it creates a synchronization at the beginning of a meeting
  • How to diverge when we don't feel psychologically safe
  • What creates groupiness? Learn together, Train together, Feeling together, Engage in rituals together, Synchronicity (body, meals)
  • Lost the sense of "groupiness" at work
  • Role-playing games - must let everyone's roles play out
  • Having structure for debating with one another can make it fun
  • Disagreement and conflict aren't synonymous - disagreement is about ideas, conflict is personalized
  • Leaders as moderators for healthy disagreement
  • Do managers need to be trained in running meeting design, moderation, etc?
  • Starting meetings with music?
  • Different neural pathways are used when learning versus when teaching
  • The jigsaw method of teaching - learn a small part and then teach it to others
  • Must learn to think for yourself through reflection time
  • The more roots something has, the more powerful
  • Offloading information by making it visual, talking about it, journaling
  • Busy-ness isn't always productive 
  • Foster different ways of thinking about things - using objects
  • The importance of evaluating others' ideas not just expand on your own. 
  • Arguing across cultures - different cultures approach it differently
  • Arguing as not being seen as team-playing
  • Creating a system for disagreement combined psychological safety
  • Productive disagreement versus unproductive conflict


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