S02E22 The Care and Challenge Episode
July 12, 2023
Theresa Destrebecq & Vincent Musolino
- If you were invisible, what's the first thing you would do?
- What good can you do while being invisible?
- 4 quadrant matrix - Caring Personally, Challenging Directly
- High Care, High Challenge - Radical Candor
- High Care, Low Challenge - Ruinous Empathy
- Low Care, High Challenge - Obnoxious Aggression
- Low Care, Low Challenge - Manipulative Insincerity
- Industry dependent (ie, manufacturing more direct, healthcare less direct)
- gender dynamics at play - women not wanting to challenge directly for fear of being labelled a "B*tch", men don't want to be seen as weak
- Can compassion be radical?
- Compassion using the heart and the mind
- Radical - getting to the root of things
- lay down unilateral power, hold each other accountable
- Radical means essential
- end of command and control with pandemic
- "I can't believe this trust thing is working." ~CXO of some company
- Invite them to give you feedback first and make it a regular part of your day, even in small conversation
- Get to know your team about their career aspirations
- Assumption that people want to advance - Rock Stars versus Super Stars
- Assess how giving and getting feedback
- Ebb and flow between being a rock star and super stardom
- Often only way to grow is to be a manager - what about those who don't want to be a manager?
- Often only reward the managers financially, not the ICs
- Difference between learning and growing up the ladder
- Pair the care and the candor all the time
- Passive, aggressive - assertiveness as the third way
- Not falling prey to either or
- Permission parenting, authoritarian parenting, authoritative parenting - finding the middle ground
- We are human and won't always walk the perfect path
- Bill Gates - "Give me the bad news."
- Cultural implications around radical candor
- Use too many disclaimers to soften negative feedback, which takes away the candor
- Recency and latency biases make us forget the middle in the "Sandwich" technique
- So many nuances
- Normalize radical candor
- Invite public criticism as a leader, so you show people you are willing to take it
- Otherwise, give all radical candor in private
- Often more care than candor
- Fear in speaking up and saying things
- When impact doesn't match intention
- I can't always measure the impact I will have on people
- Sometimes the way we see the truth can hurt someone, but does that mean we shouldn't say it?
- Can people take your "Radical Candor"?
- Inquisitive radical candor - test the waters first?
- Knowing the right time to give feedback - it will land different in different circumstances
- "Radical candor is not measured at the mouth of the speaker, but at the ears of the listener."
More yummy content on leaderlearner.fm