The Leader Learner Podcast

S03E10 The Trombone Leadership Episode

February 14, 2024 Theresa Destrebecq & Vincent Musolino Season 3 Episode 10
The Leader Learner Podcast
S03E10 The Trombone Leadership Episode
Show Notes


  • How did you spend your summer breaks as a child?

Big Ideas:

  • How do you know when connection exists in a group?
  • The importance of having care/connection when giving feedback
  • Connection is not the same as relationship
  • Feel a connection to someone without a relationship
  • A relationship can exist without fully knowing someone
  • Trusting character versus trusting someone's competencies
  • Trust: Competence, Kindness, Reliability
  • BRAVING Model of Trust (Brené Brown): Boundaries, Reliability, Accountability, Vault, Integrity, Non-Judgment, Generosity
  • Intent doesn't always match impact - can care about someone and still hurt them
  • Creating more intention when giving feedback
  • Being unkind versus the perception of being unkind
  • Does kindness have a place in business?
  • We choose complacency and kindness can cross over -  we don't give feedback when it's needed because we know it will hurt
  • When is too much too much
  • Connecting just enough to do my job well
  • How much is too much connecting as a leader?
  • Do people want their leaders to know about them? 
  • Connecting with people to be strategic/manipulative rather than human
  • Do we need to know the in and outs of our teams to be a good leader?
  • Shifting connecting depending on the individual needs of your team
  • Do we need to manage the perceptions of others on our team?
  • You don't have to ask, but you have to listen
  • People on our teams have different attachment styles
  • Is it too much to have to adapt/chameleon to our teams needs?
  • Ask people what they expect from you and set boundaries 
  • Accompanying our team members
  • Accompanying and giving the infrastructure to others
  • Having clear expectations and the same map means we don't need to be as connected
  • Connection is needed to set expectations and create the map together
  • Is connection turning into the solution to all of our leadership problems?
  • None of us has a map of where our business goes, so connection support us
  • Common understandings of what you need to be doing and then you can improvise
  • Pull back from connection as being "the answer" to your leadership issues
  • Knowing information can share that you care
  • The little things are important to others
  • Why are you connecting?
  • What's the "right" amount of connection with our teams?


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