S03E10 The Trombone Leadership Episode

Check-In:

• How did you spend your summer breaks as a child?

Big Ideas:

• How do you know when connection exists in a group?
• The importance of having care/connection when giving feedback
• Connection is not the same as relationship
• Feel a connection to someone without a relationship
• A relationship can exist without fully knowing someone
• Trusting character versus trusting someone's competencies
• Trust: Competence, Kindness, Reliability
• BRAVING Model of Trust (Brené Brown): Boundaries, Reliability, Accountability, Vault, Integrity, Non-Judgment, Generosity
• Intent doesn't always match impact - can care about someone and still hurt them
• Creating more intention when giving feedback
• Being unkind versus the perception of being unkind
• Does kindness have a place in business?
• We choose complacency and kindness can cross over -  we don't give feedback when it's needed because we know it will hurt
• When is too much too much
• Connecting just enough to do my job well
• How much is too much connecting as a leader?
• Do people want their leaders to know about them? 
• Connecting with people to be strategic/manipulative rather than human
• Do we need to know the in and outs of our teams to be a good leader?
• Shifting connecting depending on the individual needs of your team
• Do we need to manage the perceptions of others on our team?
• You don't have to ask, but you have to listen
• People on our teams have different attachment styles
• Is it too much to have to adapt/chameleon to our teams needs?
• Ask people what they expect from you and set boundaries 
• Accompanying our team members
• Accompanying and giving the infrastructure to others
• Having clear expectations and the same map means we don't need to be as connected
• Connection is needed to set expectations and create the map together
• Is connection turning into the solution to all of our leadership problems?
• None of us has a map of where our business goes, so connection support us
• Common understandings of what you need to be doing and then you can improvise
• Pull back from connection as being "the answer" to your leadership issues
• Knowing information can share that you care
• The little things are important to others
• Why are you connecting?
• What's the "right" amount of connection with our teams?

Resources:

• The Speed of Trust, Stephen Covey
• BRAVING Inventory, Brené Brown
• How to Know A Person, by David Brooks

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