Red Flags! Dating Someone Who Doesn't Love Themself-Sunscreen Love Audiobook

Do you ask potential partners if they truly love themselves? This seemingly simple question could reveal everything you need to know about your romantic future. Coach Ratner explores the often-overlooked "research phase" of relationships – that crucial period between initial attraction and serious commitment where we discover who someone really is beneath the surface.

Whether you're currently dating, in a relationship, or taking time for yourself, these insights will transform how you approach connecting with potential partners. Share this episode with someone who needs to hear that happiness is a choice – one that prepares us for the love we truly deserve.

Chapters

• 0:00 The Importance of Self-Love
• 0:50 Personal Issues Don't Vanish with Love
• 1:37 Learning from Past Relationships
• 2:40 Strategies for Cultivating Happiness
• 4:03 Coach Radner's Closing Thoughts

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:04

As you navigate the research phase of a potential relationship, it's crucial to ensure that the person you're considering sharing your life with genuinely loves themselves. This might seem unconventional, but if you think this person could be the one, consider asking them directly. They may have never been posed this question and it could reveal hidden wounds. At least with open wounds, you have a chance to heal them. A common misconception is that personal issues will simply vanish once you find love. However, the truth, which many people do not want to accept, is that you must love yourself first to be open to loving someone else. This is similar to using drugs to escape reality it might work temporarily, but eventually the high fades and you're left facing your problems. If you marry someone with the hope that they will solve your issues or bring you happiness, you may find that not only do those problems persist, but you also risk making your partner unhappy, compounding your troubles. Before entering a relationship, you only have your own feelings to manage. In marriage, your emotions directly impact your spouse. Someone committed to personal growth can learn from everyone they encounter, especially their partners. I've been fortunate to date some remarkable women, each teaching me valuable lessons, particularly about what not to do. Unfortunately, I once dated someone who was extremely unhappy with herself. She had trust issues from her parents and that eventually caused major problems in our relationship. Early on I knew that she was a fantastic person and of course when you first meet someone unless they are totally nuts you don't see the hidden dangers. So when I got past the crush phase and started the research phase, red flags began to appear. I stopped dating her because I realized her unhappiness was a barrier to any future healthy relationship. Thankfully, after our relationship ended, she was able to seek help and come to terms with herself and her past. Looking back, I believe our relationship helped her to realize that she needed some serious professional help. Even years ago, I knew that there had to be a phase between the crush phase and the commitment phase. This experience reinforced my belief in the importance of the research phase. Understanding who you might be committing to is essential. When I reached my mid-30s and remained single, I made a conscious choice to prioritize my happiness, regardless of whether I got married. This mindset reduced the pressure of finding a spouse, making me more open to meeting the love of my life.

Speaker 1: 2:36

It's easy to feel the weight of societal expectations, especially for women who may feel their biological clock ticking. Everyone faces unique personal challenges that they must confront in order to love others fully and allow themselves to be loved in return. Regardless of your challenges, taking steps to love yourself and maintain a positive outlook will set you on the right path toward finding a partner with whom you can reach the point of never leaving. Happiness is a choice. Here are two effective strategies to cultivate happiness Focus on your blessings.

Speaker 1: 3:10

Concentrate on what you have rather than what you lack. For instance, if you're reading this or listening to this, you are blessed with the gift of sight. Imagine being blind your entire life and suddenly getting the ability to see through a new procedure. How ecstatic would you be and feel? Cultivating this appreciation can help you to attract a partner who values life as you do. Spread happiness to others. There's nothing more fulfilling than bringing joy to someone else through kind words or actions, while self-indulgence may provide temporary satisfaction. While self-indulgence may provide temporary satisfaction, it often lacks lasting fulfillment. In contrast, doing a good deed for someone else fosters a deep sense of well-being. By focusing on your own happiness and spreading joy to others, you'll create a positive environment that attracts the right partner and paves the way for a healthy, loving relationship. This is Coach Radner, the Coach Radner Podcast. If you enjoyed this, please share, like, save, subscribe. Thanks for listening.