The Coach Daniel Ratner Podcast

“When Botox Meets Bezos: Where Low Self-Esteem and Plastic Surgery Collide".

• By Coach Daniel Ratner

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Welcome to the introduction of my next book, following Emotional Vampires: How to Protect Your Happiness from People Who Suck You Dry. The book you’re about to hear is currently being written, and I’d love your feedback on this intro.

And for those waiting for the Emotional Vampires podcast series—good news—it’s coming to my podcast in late 2025. Thank you so much for listening and being part of this journey!

Coach Ratner:

Welcome to the Coach Ratner Podcast. Today I'll be reading the intro to a book that's going to be released in late 2026 titled When Botox Meets Bezos, where low self-esteem, narcissism, and plastic surgery meet. Did you see those Bezos Sanchez wedding photos from the summer of 2025? You could have mistaken it for the grand opening of a Beverly Hills Med Spa. With that kind of money flying in and over 90 private jets, most of those guests had no problem swiping their black AMAX to pay for breast enhancements, Botox, and enough dermal filler to make Lisa Rena's palette look thin. But here is the irony. When all is said and done, spending all that money with plastic may leave you looking like plastic. I understand that this title may be a bit edgy, but some things are just too obvious not to say out loud. I really wanted the title of the book, How to prevent Another Bezos Divorce. And no, I'm not talking about Jeff Bezos' first wife, Mackenzie Scott, who, for the record, is already two divorces in. I'm talking about Jeff Bezos himself, founder of one of the most valuable companies on the planet and one of the richest men alive, depending on that day's closing price of the Amazon stock. I can't be the only one in the room who looked at the pictures from the wedding in Venice and thought to myself, there is no chance that this is going to last. How long does the average wedding last? Four hours, maybe five, max. This one lasted for three days, yet there is no correlation between how long your wedding lasts and how long your marriage lasts. You could spend $50 million on flowers, hire Adele to sing you down the aisle, and have Gordon Ramsay scream at your caters all night and your marriage could still tank faster than Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston. Have you ever heard anyone say, thank God for our over-the-top wedding party? Otherwise, my marriage would have never lasted. These are words that you will never hear. What's the first thing someone does as soon as they get engaged? They call their parents. Or maybe in the Bezo Sanchez situation, they call their children. Congratulations is heard through the phone, but who is the very next call going to be to? The wedding planner. Next six months are spent on deciding who is going to make the A-list and deciding how you're going to let down the crazy relatives that you really don't want to come. Then there's the reception to organize, choosing the caterer, photographer, band, color, scheme, venue, date, and menu. Some brides go to great lengths traveling across the country to be fitted with for an Oscar de Lorento gown or Christian Loubuton shoes that they'll only wear once. In fact, many brides spend more on a wedding dress than some people spend on their entire wedding. While these details may seem crucial at the moment, they pale in comparison to the significance of building a lasting marriage. What is the last scene in any romantic comedy movie you've ever watched? It's usually the wedding. Why don't they ever show what happens after 10, 20, or 30 years after the wedding? Because it would not be a romantic comedy, it would be a murder mystery. The day you get married is the day your marriage starts. Everyone walking down the aisle is going into it thinking that this is going to last forever. Yet really does it ever get to a death do us part. If you take 100 marriages in the United States today, either billionaire marriages or just regular people, how many get divorced? Let's say that it's about 50. That means there are 50 marriages still left. Now, out of those 50, how many do you think are in happy, passionate, loving relationships? I used to say about half, but after teaching thousands of students over the last few years, it appears to me much worse than I thought. Just being married to the same person your whole life doesn't automatically mean the marriage is a success. Out of the 50 left that are still married, maybe 10 are in a relationship of passionate wedded bliss. And that's probably being generous. This means that as you as you are walking down the aisle to get married, you have a 10% chance that this marriage will be successful. Seriously, that really stinks. Now you understand the purpose of this book is to make sure you don't make the same mistake that unfortunately many other people do, including the richest men in the world. We're going to discuss how to counteract the many mistakes people make when choosing their spouse. Marriage does not have to be difficult if you go into it with the proper wisdom. Everyone thinks they know what they are doing when they are walking down the aisle to decide not, but they may not have the wisdom. Unfortunately, there's a big difference between wisdom and knowledge. Knowledge is knowing that a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is knowing not to put it into a fruitcake. If you give your whole heart to someone without the right wisdom, you're not just taking a risk, you're the fruitcake. Don't be a fruitcake. This book is going to delve into wisdom that you need to have a passionate marriage with one person the rest of your life. Jeff Bezos has probably not read this book. Hopefully he will, but I doubt he has the time or wear with all to, but that doesn't mean you don't have to. The only difference between you, the reader, and Jeff Bezos is he owns a private jet. Okay, maybe four private jets, but who's counting? One of the reasons I started writing books on relationships is because after about 10 years of marriage, I turned to my wife and said, why is our marriage good but not great, just like everybody else's? I mean, many marriages are full of dysfunction, infidelity, narcissism, gaslighting, abuse. Meanwhile, celebrities treat marriage like it's a subscription service. Some of them get married more often than they get their Pomeranium groomed. Honestly, marriage should come with an upgrade plan, like your phone. Congratulations, you've completed two years without cheating. You're now eligible for a free spousal upgrade. There is so much more to a successful marriage than the wisdom you were born with. If you picked your spouse because you think you have great taste, well, you might. But if you pick them just on looks, be careful. I actually think really good looking people have a lower chance of a successful marriage. It would be pretty difficult to get stats on this, but it just makes sense. They get asked out all the time, way more than the rest of us average folks. So basically, marrying a supermodel is like marrying a Bastard Robbins. You may not be the only one sampling flavors. Good-looking people should have to do extra screening before marriage, like airport security. But for commitment issues, dating a 10 is like buying a Lamborghini. You think you're winning until you realize you have to park it in public and pray nobody else takes it for a spin. Jeff Bezos' new wife, Lauren Sanchez, clearly has excellent taste to men. Her dating history proves she likes them rich, successful, and easy on the eyes. Her ex-husband, Patrick Whitesell, was a handsome, powerful Hollywood agent, married to her for 14 years. But apparently that wasn't enough because she decided to upgrade to Jeff Bezos. That's like trading in your sleek Ferrari for, well, the guy who delivers the Ferrari in a prime box. Her other famous relationship was with former NFL tight end Tony Gonzalez. And that guy isn't just good looking, he's so stunning that she went full in and had a baby with him. And truthfully, who could blame her? Honestly, I'm sure plenty of women would line up for that honor. He's so handsome, even straight guys are probably like, yeah, I consider having his baby too. Okay, maybe that's a bit weird, but let's be honest. Tony Gonzalez is firmly in man-crushed territory. With Sanchez, one marriage with kids didn't last, a second relationship with another child also fell apart. So honestly, what's the odds that this marriage to Bezos is going to be the one that works? How many people do you know have been married 20, 30, or 40 years but have just managed to survive their relationship? What's the biggest decision you're going to make in your life? Who you are going to marry? Yet when you spend more time figuring out the logistics of how to ship a Toy Story dial from Seattle to Miami than figuring out how to actually keep a relationship passionate, you're in for a tough time. No wonder so many marriages crash. If your prep work for forever looks like Amazon logistics, don't be surprised when love ends up like a crushed box. Just to be clear, I generally hope this marriage succeeds. I'm not rooting against Jeff and Lauren, just so I can say, I told you so. I chose a provocative title because I believe I can help change the trajectory of marriages, not just theirs. To get people to read my books, I need to hook them with an intention-grabbing subject. My hope is that once readers pick this up, they'll be inspired to explore my other books on dating and marriage, building self-esteem and protecting their happiness from people who suck theirs dry. I don't call myself a matchmaker, I'm a mate maker. I help people become the kind of person someone actually wants to marry. Unfortunately, I'm also unnervingly good at predicting which marriages will fail and which ones have a shot at lasting a lifetime. I can it can feel like a curse when you have that gut feeling that two engaged people you know are headed for a disastrous ending. Sometimes it takes decades to play out, but honestly, predicting a failed marriage isn't that hard. Most of them are headed that way there anyway. You probably have a better odds of calling a doomed marriage than betting red or black at a roulette table. The purpose of this book is twofold, to explain why this marriage might face challenges, and more importantly, to show you how to avoid those same pitfalls in your own relationships. I can make all the predictions I want, but if I don't give you actionable insights to prevent failure, this book will just be a waste of your time. I'm not trying to turn this into tabloid fodder. My goal is to teach you what it really takes to build a passionate, loving relationship with one person the rest of your life. John Gottman, the world-renowned marriage researcher, can predict with 94% accuracy whether a couple will divorce. The secret to a successful marriage isn't extravagant vacations, lavish gifts, gifts, or even three-day over-the-top weddings. It's the small, everyday actions and conversations the couples share that truly determine whether a marriage thrives. He calls it bidding for connection. When one spouse reaches out seeking engagement or a positive response from the other. In the early years of marriage, this comes naturally, but if you don't consciously register and reinforce these moments in your mind, you will like end up struggling, just like so many couples. Jeff Bezos is undeniably one of the greatest builders of an organization in history. He belongs in the Business Hall of Fame with Titans like Rockefeller, Carnegie, Disney, Jobs, Huang, Brynn, Zuckerberg, and Musk. You name it, but marriage, that's a whole different hall of fame. And let's be honest, they don't teach how not to blow up your relationship at Harvard Business School. You can ace supply chains, conquer cloud computing, and launch rockets into orbit, but trying to figure out why your wife is mad at you without her telling you and selling your back in remedial math. The problem is most people end up learning marriage the hard way through trial, error, and plenty of bumps in the road. Yes, most marriages will have to go through the school of hard knocks. Unfortunately, it's those fake knockers that are a sign that you may have a tough marriage. Let's start by looking at the issues in the Bezos Sancho's marriage that are practically waving red flags right in front of us. After that, we'll dive into the skills you actually need to have a passionate, lasting relationship with one person the rest of your life. Because if this doesn't click, then I failed. And trust me, I'm not about to list marriage advice slop on my resume. Grab some tea, buckle up, and let's do this before Jeff's Prenup Lawyer beats us to the punch. You've just heard my preview of my newest book coming out in 2026. Thanks so much for listening to the Coach Ratner podcast.