My Answer to Cancer: Chicken Pot Pie, Corn Tortillas, & Spreading Joy

A doctor looked me in the eye and gave me a number: two to five years. I’m not sharing that for shock value. I’m sharing it because I refuse to let a statistic become my story, especially after living with cancer for 14 years, surviving lung surgery, recurrence, and a long run on targeted therapies that eventually stopped working.

Now I’m on chemotherapy every three weeks, and the week after treatment can flatten me. I talk honestly about what that feels like and what I’m trying to do anyway: keep teaching, keep connecting, keep living. I also explain why I take prognosis timelines with a grain of salt. Medicine is real, but it’s also moving fast. Genome testing, new research, and unexpected breakthroughs can change what’s possible, and I want you to hold that hope without drifting into denial.

Then I get to what I believe is my “answer” to cancer: joy. Not the kind that shows up when life is easy, but the kind you practice on purpose. I share how a simple smile can change my whole day, why food and cooking have become a reliable source of happiness, and how small rituals give me something to look forward to even when I feel awful. Most importantly, I talk about bringing joy to other people through hosting, one-on-ones, and classes and why I believe that loving and helping people is a powerful spiritual and emotional force.

If you get something from this, subscribe, share it with someone who needs strength, and leave a review so more people can find the show. What’s one small joy you’re choosing this week?

Transcript

Why He Is Speaking Today

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Hey, this is the Coach Ratner Podcast. And I'm here to talk to you about an article I wrote last week on Aish.com that became uh number one article on Aish. And really, it's about my cancer. I call it, I really wanted to call it, it's my answer to my cancer. Because unfortunately, I've been dealing with cancer for about 14 years now. And uh I discovered it um when actually when I went to a chiropractor and she took an x-ray of my back, and before she did some work on me, and at the end of the appointment, she says, You know you have a spot in your lung. So one thing led to another. I had my part of my lung removed back in 2013, then I had reoccurrence in 2014, and then for the last 12 years, I have been on targeted therapies. These are drugs that do have some pretty bad side effects, but you're able to live and survive, lead a pretty normal life, and they eventually stop working, which happened to me. So I learned a few things, you know, just from my life and from teaching, you know, and these are miracle drugs, they're they're amazing. So, what's the plan for me now? I started chemotherapy. I get chemotherapy every three weeks, and the week after chemotherapy, I'm pretty much a mess, but I'm still trying to get out there and teach. And if in two weeks I'm much better, that's not so easy. And these are like what I'm gonna talk about today are the two ways I'm gonna fight it and not just survive, but hopefully thrive. And what I'm about to tell you doesn't really come from the mouth of most most oncologists, but I think that it could really help people who are going through a tough time, going through challenges. And the first piece of advice I'm gonna give you is um, you know, when doctors tell you when they when you have when you start chemotherapy and and you've had cancer a long time, sometimes they give you your lifespan. And so my doctor did tell me, you know, you got two to

Prognosis Numbers And Why They Mislead

SPEAKER_00 1:55

five. He might have said two to four, but I remember two to five. And he said, two if you're unlucky, but I mean two to five, two to five years left to live. And if you're lucky, you get five. And maybe if you hit a homoron, you'll get ten. So I took it with a grain of salt because I remember a story that Robbie Wallerstein told a number of years. That's a sets all he was a big ruff. Excuse me. He said that his father was diagnosed with cancer, and the doctor told him you have two plus years left to live. And Robbie Wallerstein's father said back to the doctor, You mean to tell me that you know for a fact that I have two years left to live? He goes, Yeah, you got two years plus, you know, more than two years. And his father said back to the doctor, You're telling me that when you have complete certainty that you know that I'm gonna live at least two years? And the doctor says, Yeah, you got at least two years. And Rabbi Wallerstein's father says back to him, You're a Nubby, you're a prophet. How do you know that? That's amazing. You know, I'm not gonna die by a heart attack, get hit by a bus, get hit by lightning, you know, just I have diabetes, I'm gonna live at least two years, you know for a fact. That is unbelievable. And so I took that because really doctors, you know, they only have to go on previous information. As I say in investing, past performance is no guarantee of future results. In today's world, science is moving at the lightest speed, and we have no idea what lies ahead of new drugs in cancer research. They just came up a report yesterday that this weight loss drug might be a cancer cure. You know, it's funny, my father died in in 1985. And uh CT scans, these are the scans that people get that can see your whole body. They were invented in the 1970s, but it wasn't until the early mid-80s, early or mid-80s that became more common. I don't know if my father had a CT scan. I don't, I don't remember. And my mom died of cancer in 2009, and they were as there were some targeted therapies. But of course, you know, she was in her 80s and they caught it really late, so she didn't really have a chance. But um, things changed so fast. And it's really crazy is that today, you know, when I was diagnosed in November, uh, they saw fluid in my lung. There's no mass, thank God. But they're able to test the fluid and they can do genome tests, and they know exactly what kind of cancer I have. They know the exact DNA of it. And um, so you don't know, you have no idea what's going to happen. You have no idea.

Joy As A Daily Practice

SPEAKER_00 4:30

It's gonna keep moving forward, living life. But the more important thing that I want to discuss today is joy. Because my my kids were singing a song in the house from Annie. You're never fully dressed without a smile. You know, sometimes I wake up and I don't feel good, I'm tired. And my wife, my wife says you're not fully dressed yet. So I put a smile on, and it really changes my outlook on life by putting a really, if it's a fake smile, it doesn't really matter. And I really believe that bringing joy to yourself and other people can change your diagnosis. So I'm a foodie, I love food. And the last few years I've been on, you know, because of my health, my wife put me on a special diet. And that special diet doesn't allow me to eat certain things like pizza and sandwiches. And I'm like, oh, come on, I love this stuff. And I figured out, I don't figure out, I know this. Food brings me joy. I enjoy food. And so I said to myself, you know what? I want to bring joy to myself. I want to do things that bring me joy. Just like I discussed in my self-esteem class, that um you're in control of your own happiness. There's no one else in control of it. And you need you need to do things that bring you joy, that bring you happiness, and do keep things away that really don't bring you joy and happiness. Because sometimes we get talked into doing things we really don't want to do. And so, like for me now, my I used to make my kids like pitas with egg and cheese, you know, egg and cheese pitas with butter. And it looks so good. Oh my gosh, it looks so good. So, what I do today is I go to the Shuk in Jerusalem and I buy sourdough bread, has no preservatives in it. I get a fresh loaf, lasts a few days, and I make myself, I mean, and I use a lot of butter. I mean, I'm just like caking on the butter on the bread, and I and I well, thank God I don't have to deal with, I don't have any issues with uh cholesterol and salt or anything like that. I've don't have high blood pressure. Um, so because I've exercised my whole life. Anyway, and I've eat I generally eat healthy, but I make like a cheese and egg and I put it on the sourdough bread. And every single morning I wake up with joy having something to look forward to after I dive in. So that's number one. I bring joy to myself, and if I and I and if I see a recipe like tonight, I'm making um now I try to

Food, Recipes, And Small Joys

SPEAKER_00 6:50

keep preservatives out of my life. So I wanted to make corn tortillas. And when you go to the store to buy corn tortillas, they all have here in Israel, you know, they have preservatives and they all they're called ease, ease something at different numbers. And when I brought the tortillas home, the corn tortillas, I found out, first of all, that corn doesn't really uh doesn't have a gluten in it, so it doesn't really stick together. So what they do in the store, all the corn tortillas that I've seen here uh are mixed with flour. So it's not real corn tortilla. In fact, it's 60% flour and 20% corn or not what the rest is. So it's not really corn tortilla. So I had a friend bring this called maize. It's a special kind of corn flour that sticks together. So you can make corn tortilla. So, like today, I just finished making fresh-made homemade salsa. It's in the refrigerator uh cooling off. And then I got some great ripe avocados to make guacamole, and I got a pound of freshly ground, freshly ground ground beef, and I'll make corn tortillas this afternoon, and I'm gonna have corn tortillas with beef and guacamole and salsa. You know what? It brings me joy, and I'm gonna do it. And last night I actually had chicken pot pie that I made, and it's awesome, and it makes me happy. But

Bringing Joy To Other People

SPEAKER_00 8:05

the more important thing that I do is bring joy to other people, either by hosting for meals, I do one-on-ones with people and uh teaching classes. I had to cut back my classes a little bit because I just don't have the energy I did, you know, with this chemo. Really, it really wipes you out. Um and the last thing I wanted to really discuss is that there's a concept that God loves those that love his children. I mentioned this before, like, you know, back when I was living in Maryland and my kids were little, I get a babysitter. And you get babysitters sometimes come over and they sit in the couch and they play on their phone. Fine, whatever. They're making sure the kids are safe, I guess. And then occasionally, I remember one time I we just had my youngest, and she was like, I think it was like two months old. And my wife and I were gonna go to dinner, and we had four other little ones, seven and younger, and this babysitter comes over, and we're about to leave the house, and we're taking the baby with us, and she's 14 years old, and she's a rabbi's daughter, and she goes, No, no, no, no, no, no. Keep the baby here, I'll take the baby. She grabs the baby, says, Kids, come on, we're all gonna make blueberry muffins in the kitchen. The kids scream, they come in, they start cooking, and my wife and I leave. Now, what's she our favorite babysitter? The one that sits on the couch, or the one that's like interacting with our kids. Of course the one interacting with our kids. That's the one we love. It's the same with Hashem, but say with God, he loves those that love his children. So make a point to help other people. Do one-on-one to them, give them advice, give them my sunscreen love book, teach classes. Because I really believe that is probably the cure to cancer. Because God if if I bring joy to the people, help other people out, God's not gonna want me to leave this this this earth. He's gonna keep me here. And I'm gonna make every effort to bring keep bringing joy to myself. I mean, even in times of despair

Loving God Through Loving People

SPEAKER_00 10:10

when you're when I'm not feeling well and like you know, I can't eat. I think it keeps the positive neuron flying in my head. If you love God's children, he will do everything possible to make sure you stay alive for a very long time. That's my little schmooze for today. Thanks for listening. If you have any questions, you can uh email me at coachratner at gmail.com. Coachratner at gmail.com. Any uh if you have any positive words to give me, it's great. I can always use them. I love it when I'm walking around town. It happens all the time. Thank God. You know, people say, oh, I I was in your class, I gave my brother from Boston your book, and it's helped this relationship. And I'm like, wow, it's amazing how when you spread love and you spread joy and you spread wisdom to the world, it goes everywhere because people need wisdom. We all need wisdom for all our relationships. And I'm gonna keep giving it. I have so many new ideas. I'm working on a new book. I have a book coming out this summer called It's not really a book for the religious world. It's called When Botox Meets Bezos, How to Avoid the Toxic Mix of Low Self-Esteem, Narcissism, and Massive Wealth. It's a hilarious, hilarious look at the Bezos Sanchez wedding that was last year in Venice for three days. And it's a lot of uh innuendos with Amazon and cleavage, that kind of thing, but whatever, whatever. And the new book I'm writing now is going to be for the world. It's called Five Dates to Meet Your Mate. And what I do is is I go through five dates. I discuss what to talk about, what not to talk about, which is really more important, what not to talk about, especially on the first, second

Email, Books, And Teaching Plans

SPEAKER_00 11:55

date. And we define the word red flags, we define green flags, we define the word chemistry. We mean I define the word chemistry. And I talk about what it means to be on a successful date, what your goals are for each date. And then I'm going to talk about different ways to engage with someone to understand, see if you can marry them, see if you want to keep dating them. It's called, you know, the the money date, the runny date, the funny date, the muddy date. Anyway, I'm excited about writing this book. I give the classes at Aisha Torah, Essentials. Just Google Aish Essentials, and you'll see the schedule. I'm teaching most of the time. Maybe the week after Kema, I'm just doing two classes, and the rest of the time I'm doing three. There was a seminary here that uh the woman, the young ladies were coming to all my classes and they wanted more material. So I told them put a class together for me. You know, it just and so this woman, this young lady, grandmother lives near my house, and she on a Tuesday night or something said, Oh, we're gonna do a class at my grandmother's house. Next thing I know, there's 25, 30 girls showed up to hear my class on dating. So uh I'm willing to teach anywhere because it brings me joy to bring joy to other people. If you put a class together for me, you're helping me out, you're helping my health, and you're changing the world. This is Coach Radner at the Coach Radner Podcast. Hope to see you soon.