Mya: College Achievement Coach, Academic Advisor, Environmental Studies & Public Policy degree

Mya was a first generation college student who credits her high school guidance counselor and a workplace mentor with encouraging her to seek a college degree to reach her full potential.  She originally decided to major in Public Policy to later attend law school, but she found herself drawn to working on a college campus and making an impact on student lives in higher education.  Mya explains the benefits of college coaching and how we can help students be successful in their first year of college and beyond.  This episode will benefit not only students, but she also shares fantastic advice and resources for parents and those who work in higher education.  

Transcript

Carrie: 0:01

Thank you for joining us today on Paths in Progress. I'm your host, Carrie Young. On this podcast, people in a variety of career fields, talk about their journey from choosing their college, deciding which majors and minors to pursue, their first jobs out of college, and all of the hurdles, detours and victories along their path through today. Our goal is to help students hear about a variety of exciting opportunities out there and understand what day-to-day life is like in these careers. I hope you enjoy and learn from our story today. Thanks for listening. Hi, everyone. Thanks for joining us today. We are here today with Mya, who has her bachelor's degree in environmental studies and public policy. And now she is a college achievement coach with an organization called College Connectors. Mya, thank you so much for joining us today. We are excited to hear your story.

Mya: 0:55

Thank you for having me on. I'd love the opportunity to do this because it allows students who maybe have been told that their major determines the rest of their life, or their upbringing or the city they grew up in, or any of those types of outliers determine the rest of their life. When in all actuality, We are the ones as individuals that determine the rest of our life. So this is a great opportunity to dispel the myth.

Carrie: 1:28

Absolutely. Well, I appreciate your willingness to do that. So can you take us back to you brought up your background, you've mentioned to me before that you were a first-generation college student. So can you take us back to high school times and let us know how your educational journey began?

Mya: 1:47

Absolutely. So I grew up in rural, Northern California, by the Sierra Nevada mountains, near lake Tahoe. I grew up in a town where the rate of students who went to four year institutions was not a high number. I don't know the absolute percentage of my graduating class that did go on to college, but, social media maybe has given me insights and it's not a high number. I am a first-generation student. Neither of my parents graduated from college or went to college. What I was really lucky with is that I had a guidance counselor that genuinely was invested in helping me get beyond the town we lived in and go and see and do. She wanted and tried to do everything she could to help me apply to schools and go where I wanted to go. Unfortunately, all the pieces didn't come together because as a first-generation student, I genuinely didn't understand the process of going to college.

Carrie: 3:01

Like the application process and when to start?

Mya: 3:05

And even financial aid. Financial aid is so daunting. I am so grateful that now that there is a financial aid app and that Michelle Obama's organization, the make room, that has helped dispel the myth and create pathways for students to better understand financial aid and to take the burden off of students that going to college is impossible if you don't understand how the process works. And so that really genuinely was what it was. I just, I didn't understand the process.

Carrie: 3:43

So what happened? You said your counselor was really encouraging to you. Was that something you went to her and said, I want to do this? Or is it something where you like heard her speak and then you you got that desire within yourself?

Mya: 3:56

For reasons I'm unsure of, I really sought out adults that I believed could mentor me or give me an exit plan for lack of a better way of saying it. We had like a college day where everyone came to the counseling office and applied to schools and I of course went to it, but I truly didn't even know what I was doing. And she actually pulled me aside and said, I can help you with this. It was showing up on my part, which let's be honest, showing up as a hundred percent what matters, and then asking for help. And those two things created a relationship that I could have with her, where she could say, have you thought about trying this or trying that. Ultimately, I didn't go directly to college. I actually had a little scenic route. There was six years between me graduating from high school and becoming a full time college student. So during that time I worked odd jobs. I dabbled took a class here, took a class there. I was really lucky because I ended up working at the California state Capitol for an assembly member, and was connected with people who had a strong investment in my future. The chief of staff for the assembly member that I worked for. I like to say that he very subtly told me: this is cute. You make very good money for somebody without a college education. But you're going to top out really quick, like what's your grand plan for your life? And so once again, that was that moment of where somebody who was older than me, and very generous with their time stepped in and said, hold on, you can be more. And when I talk to students, I'm always emphasizing: mentors matter. Like mentors are the difference. And honestly, having somebody say to me, You could work in this building for the rest of your life, but do you realize that you have so much more to offer? Like you could be so much more? And so, I then worked up the courage and applied. There were three schools that I really had a strong interest in. The first, if I was going to stay in state, Sonoma state university, and then the university of Oregon and then Western Washington university. Those were the three schools that I narrowed it down to. They were all fantastic schools, but truly when I went to the university of Oregon's campus, it just felt right. I felt like home. As I was walking around campus, I could see myself being successful there. I could see myself graduating. I could see myself doing something different than what everyone else I knew was doing. Here I am, six years after high school. I've been really lucky that I've had some real-world experience and mentors who have really stepped up and kept me encouraged. And haven't done it for me, but have shown me, like if you open that door, there might be the thing you're looking for. So I ended up at the university of Oregon. As you stated, I was in environmental studies and public policy major. I had the grand plan of going to law school and then to write policy. I'm a complete and total policy nerd. I love policy. Which ironically enough is very relevant in higher education. That was my grand plan. I had a friend who said you should apply to be an orientation leader. So I applied to be an orientation leader, and this is where I'm going to brag on the university of Oregon. At the time Oregon's orientation program was a model for orientation programs across the country. You actually would interview and by the interview, not necessarily have the job, but you had to complete two quarters of classroom training to then determine if you would be an orientation leader. So it was a pretty rigorous process. Yes. I have jokingly said, I wish that, when I moved on to my adult life, I had never gotten rid of the binder that we had, but we had. No exaggeration, I'm pretty sure it was a four inch binder. It was a giant binder. And, you know, that's the era of a lot of paper. And so, yes, and so it was a giant binder and we weren't expected to know in and out every single piece of being a student at the university of Oregon and literally no questions about it. It's also where I learned it's everybody's first day at Disneyland. Which to this day, I credit to a hundred percent, to my perspective on how you perform in the workplace. It's everybody's first day at Disneyland, you potentially have said the same thing over and over to 101 students, but it's the first time that student has talked to you. So yeah. I went through the orientation program and, I clearly I did something right, because doors began to open and I was given the opportunity for a wealth of leadership programs on Oregon's campus. And even to be a student representative, at like alumni events and hang with the big fancy people. I ended up doing recruiting for admissions and so on and so forth. I got to about midway through fall quarter of my senior year and had this very, very clear AHA moment. That was: if this was as confusing for me as it has been to get to my senior year of college and the countless students that I have worked with as a fellow student, maybe there's hundreds of students out there that could use someone who has done it. I didn't know exactly where I wanted to be in higher ed, but, and you potentially can relate to this. I didn't ever not want to be on a college campus. Like there is just something about a college campus that I am a total sucker for. So began a complete rerouting of my career, a complete rerouting. And I spent a lot of time my last year of college being very proactive on sitting in admissions sitting in advising, sitting in, in student life and having the opportunity to touch as many parts of campus where that student involvement was front and center. So that I could get a very clear idea what a career and higher education could look like, like where I would best fit. So I did that until I graduated. At the time, I had this made the statement don't ever make an ever statement that I would never move back to California. And then I moved to San Diego, so don't ever make never statements. So moved to San Diego and started at a community college there. I did transcript evaluations. We had a wealth of military students because we were close to camp Pendleton. So I did transcript evaluation and I realized the thing I really missed was that student focus interaction that frontline interacting with students talking them through the process and so on. So from there, I ended up at UC San Diego. I was at UC San Diego for seven years. It was a fantastic opportunity. I was really lucky to find mentors there as well. I did advising for biology majors and economics majors. So I was in those two departments as an advisor. In between working with biology and econ majors, I was brought into rewrite the undergraduate curriculum for the theater and dance majors at UC San Diego. Little known fact, UC San Diego's master's program for theater usually in the top five in the U S pretty consistently because of the LA Jolla Playhouse. And so there was a lot of expectations to create an undergraduate program that would be equally as competitive. Which when I tell people that they never think of, you know, a UC very strong research institution, having this desire to have the strong arts component. But I did that. And then we moved to Texas, moved to the Dallas area. I took some time off to adjust to living in a completely different environment. Um, oh my goodness. I frequently say it was like moving to a new country. Then I worked at two community college campuses there and I did general advising, but also worked with special populations. Uh, worked with student athletes. I worked with students who were not academically college ready, but needed that very intense one-on-one strongly directed pathways and programming to help them get to college level academically within their first year of college. So spent time there and then, in the middle of 2020, because we seem to have a pension for these types of things. We relocated to Des Moines, Iowa. My husband is originally from Iowa, so we relocated here to care for his mom. When we moved to Iowa, working in higher education in the middle cOVID the beginnings of COVID. It was probably not the best career strategy on my part, but it kind of forced me to leap in a way that I'd never considered before. I have an excellent skill set. I'm really good at what I do. Why limit myself to one campus. Especially in the COVID era. The needs of students, the need is so strong and students need reassurances just as much as they need coaching. So I took a giant leap of faith and contacted College Connectors. I asked them why they had such a strong program for admissions for students, but that they didn't have the part of what happens when you get to college. And they too took the leap and said, well show us what you got. And so I created an 18 month curriculum, that is now known as the college achievement coaching program. We work with students, preferably the summer before their first year of college, but my curriculum is very dynamic. And so I have students that are first years, just as much as I have students that are second years and third years. It's been a whole new frontier to have really the biggest catch has been time zones. It's been the biggest catch.

Carrie: 15:52

I'm glad you brought this up, the way you described it in the context of the pandemic, because I think a lot of people, whether they've been forced to rethink about their career path or they've just decided that they need to. One huge lesson that so many of us have learned is that: you have a skill set, you have things that you're really good at. You have this experience that you have. There are so many ways to use it. And I think sometimes we're taught that that needs to be within the framework of a nine to five that you apply to and is already structured for you. Right? When there are so many ways, I think a lot more of us are realizing now, thanks to the pandemic, that you can either create something for yourself to use that skill set and experience, or there's just so many more options than what we realized before we were all kind of forced into this new way of life.

Mya: 16:49

I could not agree with you more, Carrie. I really could not agree with you more. I have always worked on a campus. And like I said, I love a college campus and the thought of not being on a campus and interacting with the energy that there is with college students, it was scary for me but I also knew that I couldn't limit what I was wanting to do and couldn't throw away what I have built in a career just simply because college campuses were in the middle of chaos. I knew that I was really going to have to pivot. When I say that, I always feel like I'm using the I'm trying to be cool with that term. But it has been the greatest lesson in pivoting. But it has been a profound opportunity to help students and families realize that you don't have to be tied to a campus to offer insights and coaching for student success. That honestly, after being on multiple campuses, the ins and outs of a campus, aren't nearly as critical as the tricks of the trade that I like to say that attribute to student success.

Carrie: 18:17

Yeah. And helping them with the skills they need to become more self-sufficient because I think that's a big struggle for students sometimes as if they don't already have that self-sufficient piece inside of them. You have to help them figure out how to become that way, or at least be on the road to becoming that way. And that's hard to do when you're working on a campus, when you have all these other things that you have to do. You have to focus so much on the logistical pieces of that campus and how it operates that it's hard to spend the time on those like life skills that a lot of students really need to be focusing on.

Mya: 18:54

So much, like I actually said to one of my coworkers, I feel like I have shifted from shopping at Costco where you have to buy the five pound block of cheese to now I'm at the cheese shop and I can buy two slices of the same cheese and the quality has not changed. The quantity has, and because of that, students are better served.

Carrie: 19:23

Yeah. That's awesome. this private coaching kind of situation, a lot of students may listen to this and be like, well, that sounds expensive. And I'm not in a position where I can afford to pay some kind of private coach to help me through college. So how accessible is this kind of service to a student who feels like they're not in a place where they could afford something like this or, or assuming they can't afford something like this.

Mya: 19:47

Carrie, in all honesty, accessibility has been the biggest hurdle for me because as a first-generation student who was completely confused by every piece of attending college, I know how critical a service like this is for first-generation students. So I personally have made a commitment so may of this year will be my first year, with the coaching program and having the coaching program live. My commitment was that I would take on one pro bono student for my first year. Then for year two take on two, up to the point of where I will have a maximum of five pro bono students every year. So I will max out at five, but the thing that I'm also really advocating is working with community groups, working with companies, working with people outside of higher education in offering funding for this program for students who need it the most. Outreach has been a big part of this program for me in the sense of funding. If I am at a community function or within a community group, and somebody says to me, I think that's a great program. I'd love to know more or how does it work and that sort of thing. The first thing I say to them is would you like to sponsor a student who doesn't have access? Undeniably the cost of services can be out of reach for students. However, the beauty of being an independent coach is that I can help students. I can do payment plans. I can do things to make it accessible. But also, I'm willing to say to people who potentially are willing to invest in a student, why don't you offer them a sponsorship? This is a great graduation gift. That is one thing I've really, really talked to this is the best graduation gift you could ever give to a student. The best graduation gift you could give is saying, I would like to put X amount of money towards this coaching program for you. It does require some creativity for the students who probably need it the most. However, I'm seeking to find ways for accessibility. My goal is to provide accessibility for as many students as possible that I can serve best. I don't ever want to get to the point of where I'm not serving pro bono students in the same capacity that I would be serving paying students. That's where I have had that limit of five because in all honesty, I meet with students at the beginning for the first three months. My goal is to meet with students pretty frequently. Some of them has been twice a week, which is pretty intense, but at least once a week, and then it shifts to every other week. Knowing that there is a maximum of how many students you can serve really well. That's why I've topped out at five, just simply because I don't ever want to not serve every student to my best ability.

Carrie: 23:17

If you could talk about maybe the top two concerns or issues or lacking skills, or the things that you feel like you were addressing most frequently with the students that you coach. What are the top couple of things that you're seeing nowadays? Cause I don't know about you, but I feel like the last decade or so things have changed so much, as far as lack of preparedness for college goes, it looks a lot different than it did 10 years ago. And social media may be part of that. And there's whole separate conversation on that. What are the things that you feel like you're seeing the most frequently right now that students could work on while they're in high school or, or be really aware of as they're entering college, as something to make sure that they're addressing.

Mya: 24:01

One of the things I feel like I probably, say with such frequency that anybody who's heard it more than once is like, we've heard that we know this, but academic success does not mean success in your first year in college. Because admissions is what it is. Students are compelled to be high achievers in the classroom. They are compelled to be high achievers in volunteering. They're compelled to be high achievers in so many different directions that what doesn't happen is that they don't learn really critical things like how to grocery shop. I mean, if you think about. Hundreds of students show up to move in day with Costco size amounts of food. And then they get up to their residence hall room and are a little shocked on that there's nowhere to put all of the food or their parents take them. Their family takes them grocery shopping, and then they realize that a dorm refrigerator is really small. So really basic things like grocery shopping. How to do laundry. Really basic life skills. That honestly, it's hard to take the time to do that with high school students, because they are compelled to be doing so many other extracurriculars and be constantly excelling in the classroom that time for really basic life skills. It's completely overlooked. It's funny that you say that over the last 10 years of what students look like. I feel like that honestly, the life skills portion is the portion that is continues to be edged out. That's the portion that continues to be squeezed out and even. Even knowing how to fill a prescription, knowing if you should take Tylenol or Advil, what the difference is really basic things like that because students are stretched in so many different directions with the hope of being admitted to their first or second choice school. And so I would say life skills is a big one. Another one is that social and behavioral skillset. I don't want to say it's all social media. I think it's because we love immediacy and we love immediate results, but we also love as little interaction as possible to get to that result. I mean, look at how self-checkouts have grown. That's like a clear indication of these things. And so students to say to us, Go to your professor's office hours is just downright scary. I mean like that is, I can absolutely say there is no deer in the headlights expression that matches when I say to a student, have you gone to office hours? The look is either, I didn't know that was a thing. Or please don't make me talk to that person who stands up at the front of a classroom. In my curriculum, we literally cover how to shop for a dorm room fridge, as much as we cover how to send an email to your professor or conversations to start with when you go to office hours. We unfortunately have left behind in public education and I don't think. I think that this is exclusive to one state or another. So I'm going to make this blanket statement, but we have left behind that social and emotional learning. And those are the parts that matter college is about figuring out and taking your best shot and high school is about checking the boxes. And the difference is profound if you're not ready.

Carrie: 28:16

Yeah, that's a good reminder for any parents who are listening to that, like just don't leave behind those simple daily functioning lessons, how to make grilled cheese or how to do your laundry.

Mya: 28:30

No, Carrie. So we have a very good friend who is a division one coach. She tells the story. That is truly one of my favorite stories. It's the beginning of the year, it's fall there a few weeks in, and one of her athletes, comes into their office and is just in tears, just beside herself. And our friend says, one of the assistant coaches says, what, you know what? Everyone's dropped everything like what is going on? And this darling athlete says, I've run out of money and I've run out of clothes. Everybody kind of stops and looks at this athlete and says, what? And the athlete then goes on to say that they have just bought new clothes because they don't know how to do their laundry. And I wish I was, this is like a real, this is not embellished. This is a real story because she and I have shared stories. And she them says, and then that's the day. My three-year-old learned how to do laundry. Like that's when I came home and said to my three-year-old, I'm going to teach you how to do laundry. And you know, this is the thing it's understandable that parents don't think of that because we live in this very immediate world. We live in a society where everything is immediate and we as parents, we just do the thing. We just want our kids to like thrive from every, like from day to day from start to stop that we forget. How much we actually are doing for them and we are not asking them to do for themselves. It's more than laundry. If you think about it a million years ago, kids sat at dinner parties and talked to their parents peers and friends. And now that's not something that we do very often. And because of that, kids don't know how to converse with adults. How to hold a conversation at that level. And so then when you go to college and it's expected of you, that's really scary.

Carrie: 30:51

That's really scary when sometimes professors too are just viewed as these superhero expert people in their field. Sometimes you do have professors that you would legitimately would use those words, but it can be really intimidating. You know, like, oh my gosh, this professor went to a fancy school number one, two, and three has done all of these things. Maybe invented something maybe, has won huge awards, whatever. That's really intimidating to go in as an 18 year old and be like, hi, I don't understand this basic concept that you're teaching us. The fear of factors really high with that, but part of it is to help students understand: their job is to teach you. And yes, they may be a very intimidating figure, but start by asking. And if you don't feel like you're getting anywhere with the instructor, do they have a TA? Is there a tutoring center? Is there another student that's taken that class before that you can maybe ask? I mean, every university or college has resources, but part of the challenge is figuring out where they are, who they are, and getting yourself to feel comfortable enough to do them, right? Or to approach the right person.

Mya: 32:03

Oh, Carrie, because there's no camera right now, you don't see this, but I'm literally applauding and like throwing my fist in the air to everything you're saying. And you know, that is why I firmly believe that our coaching program is so critical. Because one of the things I do is within the first two weeks of being a first year student, I send you on a scavenger hunt on your campus. It is from the most banal thing of where the library is, and how many libraries are on campus. To where the health center is. Do you know how to make an appointment at the health center to have you talked to your TA outside of classroom hours? And this is why is because the critical resources for student success are not at the forefront of campuses. When you get on campus, all of the bright, shiny fun things are at the forefront, and it can be really overwhelming to have a million bright, shiny things presented to you. And then you get caught up in the, I should be doing with all the bright shinies and missing the fact that yes, there's a tutoring center. And honestly getting into the tutoring center the first two weeks of a semester or a quarter matters because establishing a relationship with a tutor in a subject that you know you need that extra help with is a world of difference. It makes a world of difference and going to the tutoring center repeatedly to find that person, these are the skills that make a difference in success.

Carrie: 33:51

Yeah, absolutely. And also getting tested for things. I think if students feel like they're struggling with something and they've never been evaluated or tested. I remember one particular student I had many moons ago. They were really struggling with a particular class. The student was telling me, I understand what I'm sitting in class. Like, I understand what's going on. I understand the material. And then I get into the test and something happens and I just like fall apart. And so I was like, can you describe to me, what is happening? So they started to describe it. And I was like, do you think you have some kind of like, test taking anxiety? Have you ever talked to somebody about that or been evaluated? And they're just kind of sitting there like, no, and I was like, does this happen in other tests? I wasn't an expert in that area to be able to diagnose something like that. So I had the student go be evaluated and it turned out that's what it was. And it just changed everything moving forward, because it was like, now I know what this is. Now I have ways to cope with it. I have someone working with me. But that can be a hugely intimidating thing too, because nobody wants to say, oh, there's something wrong. And I need to go figure out what it is. Or I want to go talk to somebody about this, but it can be life-changing if it's something that somebody can help you cope with.

Mya: 35:11

I absolutely agree with you. And I think, especially because whatever term that our campus uses for what I just called the disability services office. This is just the general term that I give it. They're called so many different titles on every campus. Well, first of all, it's even knowing that such a place exists. Second of all, knowing that you don't have to have some sort of glaring obvious disability to need the services that office can provide. Yes, exactly. And, for students, I mean, Carrie, I agree with you. I was that student, I will tell you that I took a physics class and, sat down for my first midterm and literally just looked at it and thought to myself, I don't even know why I'm here. I sat there and I tortured myself for a period of time. And then I just wrote on actually on the exam paper. I know this material, but I cannot deliver it to you today. And turned it in. And of course my professor called me and said, like, that's not acceptable. It was like, I tortured myself, you know, for this period of time sitting in this lecture hall, wanting to produce this information. And I literally could not even come up with the most basic information, but because of that, I found out that there was resources for test anxiety and that there was places on campus that could help me. The beauty of being at the university of Oregon is that one, there was the student resource center and they actually taught breathing techniques and meditation to help you with alleviating testing anxiety. And so not only was it that the office, the disability services office could help me, but there was also another resource on campus that really helped me walk through it. These are the little things that if you don't know that that service is available to you, you torment yourself as a student repeatedly with exams. And it just becomes, I mean, it truly can get to the point of, I'm just gonna drop out of college because this is so overwhelming. I feel like campuses have a million resources and you almost have to be a private detective to find 50% of them, because it requires thinking outside the box, it requires getting creative. And for some students, if you are struggling academically, if you are struggling mental health wise, if you are struggling personally, if you're struggling emotionally, the last thing you think of is I'm going to go wander campus and look for help. Really, for most students, it is. I just want to curl up in my bed. I just want to shut everything down.

Carrie: 38:16

And I saw that so often with students who, for that reason, would stop going to class or some classes, you know, and then it snowballs because it's like, okay, well now I haven't gone to class for a couple weeks. Well, I couldn't possibly catch up now or now I'm too embarrassed to walk in there cause people are going to be like, where were you? You know, or my professor will make a comment to me or, you know, it just, it snowballs into this thing where it just exactly it turns into I should just throw in the towel and give up, even though a lot of the time, most of the time, probably, it's salvageable. Like if you ask. But you have to ask someone, you have to reach out in some way. Hopefully someone has reached out to you, but if not, there are people out there that will help on the campus. And, it's hard. That's the thing. They're like what you're just saying. You have to find the right person in the right resource.

Mya: 39:08

I have a student who really struggled this last fall and stepped away. I don't force students to attend our meetings. They schedule their meeting and if they attend, that is their responsibility. I'm a big self advocate for attendance is your choice. They were struggling in a class. They got to that point where now it's just too late. Really talking students through: anything is salvageable. If you are willing to create a strategy and engage in that strategy. Anything can be salvageable, but it is really hard to see the forest through the trees, literally in a situation like that. In a perfect world, and I would guess that you feel the same way. It would be fantastic if every student showed up on their college campus, knowing all the things. Like that would just be like utopia. Right.

Carrie: 40:06

Well, and I have to say, even people who work on college campuses don't know of the things, because sometimes there's too many things to know about.

Mya: 40:13

Yeah, absolutely. Like you can't know all the things, but wouldn't it be fantastic if in high school, there were conversations about not the critical admissions process, but the critical first semester or first quarter process. These are the conversations: start them early, start early with your kids. Start early with your kids on: yes, it will be overwhelming, but anything is doable. If you ask for help.

Carrie: 40:48

Yeah, absolutely.

Mya: 40:50

So there's this book it's called the ultimate college student health handbook. And it's written by this woman who runs the health center at UT I think she was at Texas a and M before that, her name is Jill Grimes. The beauty of this handbook is like, you woke up with a stomach ache, don't call your mom. Let's go through your symptoms to decide what to do. And I love the handbook for that reason, because it kind of forces a pause instead of a panic. You know, that pause versus a panic, it's so effective in the classroom. It's so effective outside of the class. But it's just as effective with your roommate. It's just as effective with making new friends. It's really easy to jump to the panic before the pause. One thing that I do with my coaching students is we talk about mindfulness. We do a mindfulness exercise and half of them think it's ridiculous and they are giggly and awkward with it, which I too can be giggly and awkward through mindfulness exercise. But it gives students the opportunity to pause before the panic.

Carrie: 42:06

Yeah, I love that. Well, you mentioned to this book, do you have any other go-to resources? I was going to ask you whether it's a website, it could be a fun dorm room product, a planner. Is there a planner that you found students love? Like what are some go-to things that you would really recommend students look at?

Mya: 42:25

So planners. Okay. So I do not have a planner because I strongly feel that students will not use a planner they don't love. Now. I will say, I mean, you can buy all the notebooks, but if you don't use them, it's kind of pointless. Now I will say that. I tell almost every single student and I wish I could be a fly on the wall to see how many of them really do it. But I tell all of them: go to Amazon, go to an office supply store, go somewhere and get the giant boring desk pad calendar. Like it is no fluff. There is nothing pretty about it, but get that. The first week at the end of the first week of classes go through every single syllabus and fill that calendar out note every single date that is on your syllabus, put it on that calendar. And then if you plan to participate in a specific activity, put it on the calendar. Schedule out everything on that calendar and then hang it up somewhere where you're going to see it every day. So then it's in your face. It's kind of a you-hoo: today you're doing that thing. I really feel like students have to find the planner that best works for them. But I do truly advocate: sit down with your syllabus at the end of the first week, if you don't know how to read a syllabus ask, because it can be very scary when you first read it. Take the time to comb through it and get all of those dates written down somewhere. Get all of those dates. If it's an exam, if it's a project, if it's a paper, if it's a presentation, all of those things get those written down so that your whole quarter or semester, you know what's happening and you know what's coming. The other thing I do a students for their first semester is I do a weekly schedule. So on Sunday night, I should get an email from you. Telling me your whole life for that week. I'm a stickler about it. I'm holding pretty responsible to that the first semester. The second semester if I feel like as soon as got the hang of it, I don't hold their feet to the fire on it as much. But my goal is habits. We're going to start foundational habits that are going to serve you for the rest of your time in college and potentially for the rest of your life. So that's the planning calendar part. I will tell you, I have a bookshelf full of books, but hands down, my two favorite books are for parents. If the book is called, Letting Go, a parents understanding to the college years. The book has been around forever. I actually had to read it when I was in the orientation leader class. Reading the book answered a million questions for me, like, oh, so that's how you do that thing. It was helpful for me as a student then, even though it was written for parents. So for parents definitely letting go. And then for students, it's how to college, what to know before you go, Andrea Malkin Brenner and Laura hope Schwartz are the authors on that book. How to college is fantastic for students. I always assigned parents letting go at the beginning of the summer, and then I assign how to college at the beginning of the summer for students. I referenced them frequently because there's just really good information in those books. And then the health handbook that I mentioned, I think every student should go to college with the health handbook. In that, there's actually how to build a first aid kit, which. Things you would never think about as a parent, right? Like you're like, do they have the shoes they need? But then like, no, it's, you completely forgot. Like maybe you should have band-aids Neosporin or whatever. We were bombarded with big information, so little detailed things we tend to overlook. So really those are my three favorites. There's a wealth of other books that I have referred to students. The Naked Roommate.

Carrie: 46:55

Oh, wow. What is that?

Mya: 46:57

The Naked Roommate is brilliant. The Naked Roommate and 107 other issues you might run into in college. How the health handbook covers all malaises, the naked roommate covers all the things that you are going to potentially encounter while you are in college. It's also written with a little bit of levity, which I always appreciate. I don't ever want to approach students with absolutes and doom and you have-tos. So when an author has a book that has a little bit of levity and has maybe a little self-deprecation, I'm always going to be a fan. So yes, absolutely. The naked roommate. The Gift of Failure for parents is an excellent book. Your turn: how to be an adult, Julie Lythcott- Haims. If I could get her to sit down with every single incoming freshman, it would be a giant win. The power of Habit. I'm a big fan of as well.

Carrie: 48:05

Awesome. I love a good book list, so yeah. Yeah. Good reminder that no matter how prepared you feel, or no matter how much you feel like, you know how this goes, it's still good to sit down and read great recommended resources like this.

Mya: 48:24

Absolutely. And honestly, if you think about it, what the first year of college looked like for students five years ago is almost not even remotely comparable to what the first year of college looks like now. That is so big and so critical. Now when you're sending your student to college, you're potentially having the conversation of is the wireless and internet connection, strong enough in your residence hall, so that if everybody goes online, That you can get online to your classes. These are things that we never prepared before.

Carrie: 49:06

Before when even career choices, like so many people now are thinking, so that career, a lot of people lost their jobs because of the pandemic. So is that a career that I want to go into now? Because now I want to look at something that if there's another global pandemic, I hopefully would not lose my job. Right? We weren't thinking about that before.

Mya: 49:26

Never, or even wow. That career never existed, but now it's a big deal. Like public health, like public health to me is one of those career fields that we don't spend a lot of time talking about. Wow. Has public health come to the forefront? Yes, public health is like front and center in a way that it never was five years ago.

Carrie: 49:52

True. Well, I do want to ask you, cause we very briefly earlier in this conversation, you mentioned how important it is to have a mentor to have mentors. So if we could circle back around to that, can you talk a little bit about how you advise the students that you coach to seek out a mentor and what kinds of things you advise them to ask or how you would recommend interacting with them?

Mya: 50:18

So mentors. I'm really lucky. I have lived on the west coast, the east coast, Texas, and now the upper Midwest. I have covered all the time zones.

Carrie: 50:30

Its own thing like this coast, this coast, this region and Texas. Because we are separate.

Mya: 50:37

If anybody has lived in Texas for a period of time, they understand this, they understand this. It is not the south. It is not the Midwest. It is not the Southwest. It is Texas. It is it's O Republic truth. Because I have lived in so many places I have met and interacted with such a broad swath of people. So if I really feel like that a student could benefit from a mentor of somebody I know, I usually will connect them with that person. That is usually the first thing that I do. If I don't know somebody, I will then go to my Rolodex of people and say, Hey, I have a student these are the things I'm looking for. Do you know anybody that would serve as a mentor? Usually I'm able to land a mentor for a student using that method. The other thing I do is I ask the student questions. Do you know anybody that does this, do you have a friend who's know somebody who does this? Do you go to church regularly? Are you part of a social group? Do you do this activity? Mentors can be in really obvious places, but also in least expected places. The other thing that I talk about with students is do you know how to ask somebody to be your mentor? Do you know how to ask somebody for their time? Do you know how to say to them: can I grab a meal with you? I think it's great that we talk about job shadowing. I mean, we talk about job shadowing all the time, but what we don't talk about is asking somebody to meet you for a meal and the off hours so that awkwardness of being in the workplace is taken away. It becomes a social interaction, but also because then you can ask the person. Tell me what you did at work today, not what does a day in your job look like? Tell me what you did today. Or tell me who you interacted with and why that matters.

Carrie: 52:51

And I think it can make it less intimidating because when you think about it in the context of, I want to ask somebody to be my mentor, as opposed to, I want to ask someone if I can buy them a cup of coffee or go get coffee with them and just ask them some questions. Because even if that person does not end up being your mentor, you will likely get something out of that conversation or referral to another person who could end up being your mentor or to another resource or a suggestion to look for an internship in a particular place, or who knows what I mean, it's amazing what one conversation can do for you. I've usually encouraged students not to have the expectation that like, you're going to ask, you're going to have this one conversation with this person and they are going to become your person because they might not. But try to look at the conversation, like what can I gain from this conversation and what questions can I ask us person to take that information and go forward then to find my mentor, if it's not this person.

Mya: 53:50

I absolutely agree. This usually causes students to freak out a little bit, but then I, I breathed them through it, but I frequently say: finding a mentor is like dating. Dating has a high level of awkwardness. Let's just be honest. But it becomes less awkward if you approach it differently, if you don't approach it like, it should be a certain way, then the awkwardness has reduced. I've met a lot of people that maybe somebody would be really impressed with. Like, Ooh, you met so-and-so because of their name or who they are. But the people that I hold in the highest esteem or that. I have asked the hard questions or spent time with and gotten the opportunity to create a relationship are impactful people who aren't household names. Yeah. That is something that's really critical to know the difference between as a young adult. It's very easy as a young adult to go after household names and to, so after the household name of a career or a person, but in all honesty, there are people that you are going to have the opportunity to meet that may have so much impact on your life and they aren't a household name. But the impact they have on your life is very, very critical or is profound. The things that they have accomplished are equally as notable and

Carrie: 55:31

frankly, people who are household names had people help them get to that place who were not household names. Right.

Mya: 55:39

A hundred percent. I frequently say to students like nobody got there just because they woke up one day and decided that's where they were going to be. It's a lot of small in-betweens that you don't know about that got them to that place.

Carrie: 55:57

Probably a lot of rejection and a lot of failure and a lot of starting over.

Mya: 56:01

Oh, goodness. So much rejection. I have learned and I really try to emphasize and teach students that like rejection is an opportunity every time. Rejection is an opportunity. Don't ever get confused in thinking that rejection is an endpoint. Rejection truly is an opportunity. Rejection is the chance for you to say. Okay. So if that doesn't work, do you have someone something somewhere that it does work?

Carrie: 56:35

Yeah. I firmly believe that whether you believe it's God or the universe or whatever your belief system is, a lot of times that is life's way of saying, honey, this is not the way you're supposed to be going. You're actually supposed to go this other way, which is way better than what you're imagining in your head. Sometimes, I mean, I know I'm the kind of person somebody needs to just smack me off the road to get me to change course, you know, like I'm going to keep up my course. So something happens where it's like, Hey. Get off the road. This is the wrong road, you know, I literally have to be shoved off the road. So sometimes in my life I've had to sit down and be like, I think I'm being shoved off the road. I think I'm supposed to be going into another road. But that's how you have to look at it. Not like, oh, I failed because I just got shoved off the road. It's more like, I think I'm on the wrong road or I went the wrong direction or something. Right. And so whatever is happening is my wake up call. And if you try to look at it, like, okay, here's my wake-up call. Where am I supposed to be going? What is this other thing? That's a big, big lesson.

Mya: 57:46

I don't know if it's used as frequently now, but there's this brief period of time where we talked a lot about on-ramps and off-ramps for students. We talked a lot about like, how is that an on-ramp or an off-ramp? The thing that I always piped up with is maybe it's a rest area. Maybe it's neither of those things. Maybe it's a rest area. Like we need to give more credence to rest areas and not be so focused on on-ramps and off-ramps because rest areas sometimes are where the big things happen.

Carrie: 58:24

Especially creative thinking, right? Gomez. Yes, I am. Let me tell you that is a lesson I have been learning during this pandemic is if, if it's, I don't know if a rest area is what I would call it, but something that sometimes your life situation changes in a way where it's like your mind literally starts working differently because I have not been sitting in traffic for three hours a day, like I used to, or, you know, things that your brain gets so used to during a very specific way. And something like a pandemic happens or some other big life event, whether it's getting laid off or something tragic happening in your family, that makes you sit and your brain just is different. Like you're having to literally operate differently. That can lead to new things. Just the fact that you're thinking about life and thinking about your world in a different way. Looking back on your experience, particularly as a first-generation student, and the path that the journey that you've had, what are some big lessons that you have taken from particularly your educational experience and your career path, that you really try to pass on to students? Or just as you look back on your life, you think, wow, I really wish I would have known this earlier, or I really learned this big lesson because I had the journey that I ha

Mya: 59:44

It's funny that you ask this because something I have really had this inner struggle is that I didn't go to grad school. The thought of going to grad school was really intimidating for me, by the time I graduated from college. Because keep in mind, I didn't go directly. So there was this six year period where there was a lot of self discovery and a lot of: is this the direction to go? So that, by the time I graduated from college, I wanted to jump into a career immediately. I knew what I wanted to do. I was so confident about it, that the idea of grad school, I just couldn't buy into it. And then once my career started then grad school became kind of intimidating and scary to me. I wish that I had ignored that inner doubter. I wish I had ignored that you're not going to get into grad school because, or you're not good enough. I wish I had ignored that inner voice and just pressed forward. I frequently share that with students. I don't regret it. But now I really am at a place in life where I have this inner, should I do it now? Or should I just walk away from it? The decision, the what to do literally changes every which way the wind blows. In sharing the story, I hope that it makes me more relatable. Like we don't all have it figured out. It's important for students to hear that.

Carrie: 1:01:15

Basically no one has it figured out. Can we just say that?

Mya: 1:01:18

No, literally no one. And you know what? There is so much beauty and saying, I really don't have it figured out. Like there's so much beauty in that. If we are able to say, I don't have it figured out. That's when we open ourselves to learning, that's when we open ourselves to opportunity, like that's where those things happen. I would say that's probably the biggest one for me.

Carrie: 1:01:48

When you meet with first-generation students now, what part of your experience on your journey do you feel that you can be most relatable to them or that you can best help guide them through their first-generation experience?

Mya: 1:02:04

I feel like I can be most helpful when I say to them it's okay that you don't know that. Or, Hey, I have this cheat sheet for all of these terms that you are going to start hearing that literally make no sense. And also your life is going to be like a quiz database of acronyms that everybody thinks you should know. It's okay to not know it. And it's okay to be overwhelmed.

Carrie: 1:02:38

Yeah.

Mya: 1:02:38

Where the shift occurs is by saying: I'm overwhelmed. I'm unsure. What does that mean? Like that's where the shift occurs. The opportunity arrives when you say, what does that mean? Like, I, I had this conversation with a student at the beginning of fall semester and the conversation was, here are some things I want you to meet with your advisor and ask about, but I don't want you to meet with your advisor and ask about them until week five of the semester. The response was, why would I wait? I had a conversation with a student explaining to them that weeks five through seven are kind of when things start to slow down a little bit. That's when your advisor is going to give you their best time and energy. It's those types of things like pay attention to small cues, pay attention to small hints, look for an open door that maybe is only cracked versus wide open.

Carrie: 1:03:50

That's really good advice because as someone who was an advisor for many years, like as much as I loved students being proactive at the very beginning of the semester, and how much I appreciated their they're wanting to do that. If I got an email during the first week of classes that they wanted to sit down and plan out their next four years, Yes, but not now. This is not the time.

Mya: 1:04:16

But you know, this is like, so when we talk about preparing students for college, right? So we talk about these obvious things. Like don't come with Costco size food items. But what we don't talk about is that that piece of information, which is giant. Like I say to students the first two weeks of the semester, and the last two weeks of the semester. Those are not when you are going to get what you need, you are literally getting their best effort and the most that they can provide for you with the energy they have when you're questioning.

Carrie: 1:04:52

Well, and everything's on fire right during this time. So your request is not on fire. You're gonna have to wait till we put the fires out first and then, oh yeah.

Mya: 1:05:02

Yes, it really, and you know, this is. I wouldn't expect a student to know that, right? Like this. Right. I would never expect as soon to not, no more would I expect a parent to know that because I really honestly don't know how many college graduates even know that little insider tip. But this is why one, I feel like our coaching program is so critical and so important. But also this is why getting to know people on your campus and creating connections, this is how you find those things out because you start to pay attention to when your connection and your people on campus are available and aren't available. And lo and behold, there are cycles to these things. And that's how you figure this out. Looking for leadership opportunities on your campus, that is like the side door entrance to student success. It really is the side door entrance. But it's something that I don't think we really talk about. Your first year, the person you will interact with probably the most is your RA. Right. Do you know how your RA got to that job? You probably don't. So ask, ask that question. It does not mean that you are going to be an RA. What it does mean is that you're going to find a side door entrance. Campus leadership is the side door entrance to successfully graduating as a fulfilled student, going the direction that you are best to act. That's a big deal like graduating with major X is not nearly as critical as graduating pointed in the direction of where your skills are best used. That happens truly, I firmly believe, from campus leadership opportunities.

Carrie: 1:07:13

When you're really involved as a student and whatever it is, you're going to be on campus and you get to know the sponsor of your organization, or you get to know grad students or faculty or staff who are supervising you in a leadership position. You can get such fantastic guidance and letters of reference from those people because, if anybody understands the importance of a college student needing those things, you know, while they're in college and moving forward, it's the people who are invested in college students working on a campus. Right? So that can be a huge advantage. If you are working in some capacity with people on campus who are willing to invest in you as a person, and who really want to see you succeed once you graduate.

Mya: 1:07:59

Absolutely. Absolutely. And you know, it can be the most obvious or the least obvious. Like I have a really good friend from college who was a peer mentor, within their major. They were a psych major and they were a peer mentor. I'm sure the thought of being a peer mentor seems completely outside of their skillset or what they feel comfortable comfortable with. That was the only campus leadership that my friend did was a peer mentor. However, it was what some may consider a big thing and others might consider a small thing. But what it really did is gave my friend access and confidence. For first-generation students, access is the thing that is the hardest to obtain. It is the hardest access is the thing that's the farthest away. Finding that side door entrance, that's how you get to being at the main entrance of access. That's how that happens. For some students, it really is like they walk through the front door and it happens for them. For most students. It doesn't happen that way. It's taking the time to find the lesser use entrance. That that's how access becomes attainable. Yeah,

Carrie: 1:09:19

absolutely. So for students listening, and they've heard you talk about the work that you do, can you just summarize why you think students should seek out a coach within the beginning of their school, whether it's something that's available to them on their campus or something that they need to seek out outside of their campus. Can you summarize the importance of why students should consider doing this and working with somebody like you?

Mya: 1:09:44

The biggest reason is because students frequently don't have coaching or mentoring or interventions on their campus unless they have missed the mark. So frequently interventions and coaching happen for students who have missed the mark. They are in academic trouble. They have a conduct violation. There's something that has made them an outlier. And so then the intervention happens. However, the beauty of our coaching services is that you don't need the intervention. You actually are getting ahead of the intervention with our coaching services and you don't have to have a conduct code violation for somebody to teach you what the conduct code is. We teach you what the conduct code is. You don't have to fall into academic trouble to then learn strategies for success in each course, not just general academic success, but success for each course that you are enrolled in. And in all honesty, this is not at the fault of college campuses. This is truly the unfortunate truth of higher education. People want more students to be accepted to college. Admissions: there's a constant pressure of admitting more students that is a constant pressure. In the trade-off of admitting more students is that there are fewer campus resources. The average person may not realize is that higher enrollments doesn't necessarily mean more campus resources. What it does mean is that the people who are critical to student success actually are taking on more responsibilities. And so the beauty of our coaching program serves students before the need is created. The helpers that students need on campus frequently don't happen until the student needs an intervention. Wouldn't it be fantastic if interventions didn't ever have to happen?

Carrie: 1:12:10

Absolutely. Mya thank you so much for joining us today. This has been such a great conversation and I know that any parent or student who's listening or anyone who works in higher ed, frankly, there's just so much to learn from this. And we've got a good book list to walk away with, which I love. I really appreciate your time and sharing your journey with us, not just your personal journey, but also your career journey and all of these fantastic resources and ideas for students.

Mya: 1:12:36

Carrie, thank you for your time. I love an opportunity to share what I know. Kept knowledge is useless and shared knowledge, that's how people get better at who they are and what they do. And so thank you for the opportunity to do this. I've loved our conversation.

Carrie: 1:12:56

I have as well. Thank you, Mya.

Mya: 1:12:59

Thank you.

Carrie: 1:13:01

Do you know someone I should interview? Please DM me on Instagram@pathsinprogresspodcast and let me know who I should talk to. I would love to hear about how these stories are impacting your journey. Please follow Paths in Progress wherever you download your podcasts and leave a review to let me know what you think. You can also follow us on Facebook and LinkedIn at Paths in Progress Podcast. Our music is by John Grimmett and the artwork is by Edgar Alanis. Thanks again for joining me today.