Christopher Reeve's Legacy: Learn to Live and Love After Spinal Cord Injury

What if the strongest bond in your life needed new rules overnight? From the floor of Abilities Expo Dallas, we sit with the Christopher & Dana Reeve Foundation’s National Peer Mentor Coordinator, TJ Griffin —a C5 quadriplegic, advocate, and straight shooter—to unpack how couples and families actually make it work after a spinal cord injury. This is a candid, hopeful tour through love, boundaries, burnout, and the practical support that keeps people moving forward.

We get real about the invisible load caregivers carry, why “partner first, caregiver second” can save relationships, and how small check-ins beat big explosions. You’ll hear how peer mentorship short-circuits the “you don’t get it” wall, letting someone who’s lived it deliver hard truths with compassion. We highlight the Reeve Foundation’s free resources—everything from skin care and bowel and bladder to jobs, Medicaid troubleshooting, intimacy, and family support—so you don’t have to guess your way through daily life.

Christopher Reeve’s legacy runs through this conversation: humor as a bridge, visibility as a catalyst, and voice as power. We revisit his cultural impact and the new documentary that reminds the world that paralysis can touch anyone, which is why empathy, access, and informed care matter. We also talk training, research readiness, and why staying active—movement, breath, consistency—protects health and opens doors to future breakthroughs. 

If this resonates, tap follow, share with someone who needs it, and leave a review with one boundary or habit that helped your family thrive. Your story might be the roadmap someone else is searching for.

Transcript

Give Your Family Some Grace

SPEAKER_02 0:00

You need to cut your spouse or your brother or your family some slack because they're doing the best they can. They don't understand because you know, unless you live this, you don't know what it's like. So you gotta remember to keep keep that in mind for them and out there because they're doing the best they can, they just don't understand.

Live From Abilities Expo Dallas

SPEAKER_01 0:16

What's up, guys? It's Squadfather and Life 2X. We're back at it again. Please enjoy this Life to Max because just a couple of ones not trying to get back. Welcome back to another episode of Life to the X podcast. We are at the live at the Abilities Expo in Dallas, Texas. And today, just like yesterday, I had TJ Dana Christopher Reeves Foundation. Thank you for coming on again.

SPEAKER_02 1:01

Oh, thank you. I appreciate it. Uh it's a busy day today at the Abilities Expo here in Dallas.

SPEAKER_01 1:07

Super happy about super happy for that. I couldn't not get Superman's like cool.

SPEAKER_02 1:16

Thank you. I mean, you know, honestly, it's Christopher and Danaerie Foundation. I've been the national peer mentor coordinator for them now for 10 years. And I remember I, you know, I'm a C5 quadruple. I broke my neck playing high school football, making attack. Although it was a great hit. I went out in style. I even have it on video, but like a true text. The way I look at it, if you're gonna live in Texas, you might as well get hurt playing high school football. You know, I mean, it's the only way. But uh I remember being 1990 and just thinking, where do I go? What do I do? How am I gonna live? What's gonna happen? And because, you know, and then Christopher Reeve got injured in 95 and then started the foundation, and then his wife, Dana, is like, we've got to do something for the people that are living with this every day now. I mean, obviously, the refoundation is a lot of money for research and you know, things like that. But Dana, his wife was really adamant about doing something for people that live now, and now we provide information, resources free of charge. You can call us and it's on pretty much any subject, as well as like my job. I provide one-on-one mentors for someone that's injured, whether what level injury it is, any paralysis injury, and their family members, because the family, you know, as well as I do, the family goes through it just as well. And, you know, just kind of letting you know that you're not alone and give you some ideas to how to navigate this life, you know, because you can still have a great life. The way I you said live to live to the max, you know, and the way I look at it is I I sit down and get better parking spaces is the only difference, you know.

Families, Burnout, And Hard Truths

SPEAKER_01 2:43

So like I I agree with you a hundred percent. I I think Dana, like like I think it's a beautiful thing that you guys made up because I didn't know what my family was going through. I was selfish in a way, because I was like, you know, I'm going through this, the world evolved from me. Blah blah blah. A few years later, I come to realize, like, wow. Um, I yeah, my family probably goes through a lot when they leave. They probably go through a lot when things. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 3:24

Yeah, they do. And you know, that's why I'm really glad that we don't just I mean, I'm glad we provide you know, re mentors for the individual but that's injured, but also the family because it does affect him. And what's hard is, you know, everyone that comes into our lives is always like, How are you doing? How are you doing? Because you were in the, you know, we're in the chair, and it they forget that you know the people are out around and like caregiver burnout or all that stuff is a real thing. And then the other thing is it's just you know that sometimes, you know, we can, like you said, we can be a little selfish about because we got hurt, it's all about us. One thing is nice too, is like with you know, the mentor program and we talk is you know, the person that's coming to us, they can't pull the well, you have no idea what I'm going through on someone that's in a chair. So we can be, we can give that hard truth sometimes. Like, you need to cut your spouse or your brother or your family some slack because they're doing the best they can, they don't understand because you know, unless you live this, you don't know what it's like. So you got to remember to keep keep that in mind for them and out there because they're doing the best they can, they just don't understand everything. It's kind of hard.

SPEAKER_01 4:30

Have you ever uh mentored someone that was ready to leave their spouse?

SPEAKER_02 4:37

Yes, unfortunately, that's happened several times, and it's been both one being the spouse was um ill-body and just couldn't handle it anymore, and then it was the other way around where the person was injured and they just felt like they were too much, you know, and they weren't giving the spouse credit. And a lot of the times, unfortunately, you know, it doesn't always work out, but a lot of times I'd beg them to really learn to sit down and have open communication and talk about what they're in to be because sometimes it's just they're the the spouse might not feel open like a guilt, uh she might feel guilty or he might feel guilty of I can't be upset with him because he's injured or she's injured. I'm like, no, you need to let those feelings out, let those emotions out of it's okay to let those frustrations out because if you don't tell that person and you don't open have communication with that, you know, what's going on, what's bothering me, what makes it hard on me, it just builds up and then it builds up too much where you explode and you're past the point of no return, unfortunately, where if you take it slow by slow, and that means maybe getting counseling as a group or talking to somebody, but having that chance to like it bothers me when I do this, or it bothers me when you you know, you would just expect me to do stuff for you without you just acknowledging and understanding, you know, some of the stuff that I put in, the work I put in.

Boundaries Between Partner And Caregiver

SPEAKER_01 5:58

I can't imagine that because I'm like not my spouse, but my girlfriend loves me when I first got paralyzed. Like, yeah, that that probably happens to like mostly everybody.

SPEAKER_02 6:09

It does, and it's it's there's different people. You know, I I was 18 when I got hurt, you know, I've dated sometimes, I I've been married, I unfortunately got divorced, which was a good thing for me in a way, but it had nothing to do with the disability. But some people are different. Some people, you know, want their wife to be their caregiver. I was the opposite. I was like, I want my wife or even my girlfriends when I've dated, serious. That's they're my wife, they're my girlfriend. They're not my they're not my attendant, they're not my caregiver, you know. So I have a caregiver that comes over in the morning and gets me ready and then caregiver at night, you know, and I try to keep that as much as I mean, obviously they know how to do some things for me because there's gonna be times maybe we travel or emergency, something like that happens. But when possible, I do that. The other thing is I try to, and you don't feel I should, I don't mean it sounds bad saying make up for it, but I'll try to do the things that if, you know, I can't always I can't do a lot of cooking, obviously. My mopping skills are not good. So the how you know the lawn mowing's not gonna happen. But I can definitely go to the store and run errands. I can make phone calls and do this. So the things that I can do, I make sure to do it, and the things I can I can do that she needs done, I'll do that, or if a spouse needs that, you know, just to make sure you, you know, you're doing the best you can as always. And that's emotionally and physically.

SPEAKER_01 7:22

Yeah, do you appreciate the choir? That's my girlfriend right there, Joy. Uh she I told her straight up before we started dating, you're my girlfriend before my caregiver. Yeah. Well, she breaks that rule.

Humor, Openness, And Asking Questions

SPEAKER_02 7:39

They do, but they do it out of care and love and stuff, and you understand it, but it's also sh I think I'm not speaking for, but they appreciate you saying that so they don't have to feel that obligation and doing it. And then it's always gonna be open communication of what works and what doesn't, but at the same time, um, you just gotta find what works for y'all as a couple. I always like to describe, you know, spinal cord injuries or paralysis injuries as snowflakes. You're never gonna find two exactly alike, it's just not gonna happen. And it's the same with relationships. What works for some might not work for others, but if you guys have your open communication between each other and you allow each other to get pissed and upset or voice it, but at the same time be respectful and listen to what they're saying and take it in on both sides, it can make a huge difference.

SPEAKER_01 8:28

No, it's we're uh I I just don't want to get used to her, like, you know, like feeding me or something there, like I don't want to get used to her, like, but she's like, I love to I love to there, and some people do.

SPEAKER_02 8:43

Yeah, I just say, you know, it's like, hey, you know, when you tell her once I'm like, if you need a break, let me know. That's fine. Yeah. And she needs to be able to say, sometimes, hey, can I? I just need a little, whatever. And both of you, you know, it's just don't be afraid to say what just don't let it, just don't let it fester and then build up because that's where just we all know how that gets, and that's not good.

SPEAKER_01 9:04

Sorry, let's let's uh change that. Uh something a little stupid. I hear advice, by the way, but um I just wanna show it. Oh Lewis Rossman, like gracious off to allow beyond a stream.

SPEAKER_02 9:21

Oh, thank you so much. That's awesome. I I've been I already was looking at it, I was watching it earlier, so it's awesome.

SPEAKER_01 9:28

Yeah, so I wish he has two and a half million subscribers, so we got like a hundred of these right now. Like, really?

Christopher Reeve’s Legacy And Voice

SPEAKER_02 9:37

Well, hello everybody. I hope you are enjoying this podcast. I think it's amazing. I love the you know, and their shirts are so cool. Y'all's shirts are so cool that y'all have.

SPEAKER_01 9:46

It could be worse too. Like everyone was against it. You know, it's like I love it.

SPEAKER_02 9:52

Oh, I I my thing is too, you know, with this injury. I I'm I mean, I'm not the most politically correct sometimes because I will say jokes and I say things. I'm like, because my my feeling is if you can laugh at a situation, then you can handle a situation. You know, we gotta learn to have more humor in this life.

SPEAKER_01 10:09

Which brings me right back to one of my questions. I was gonna say, what's your favorite Christopher Reeves moment? Because I guarantee humor.

Collaboration Plans And Resources

SPEAKER_02 10:19

Oh, yeah. Oh, he I loved it because when he, you know, was injured, you know, he brought so much awareness to paralysis and obviously spinal cord injury, but just paralysis in general. I I I I'm old, so uh, you know, I uh I remember what it was like when uh Magic Johnson was diagnosed with HIV, and that brought up a lot of awareness to HIV. Well, you know, before that, we never really had a really big event, and then all of a sudden, Superman of all people, Superman gets paralyzed. Man is still yeah, and they realize, oh my God, it can happen to anybody. And he embraced that and he would make humorous, self-deprecating jokes once in a while, just off the cuff, like uh, you know, like, oh, he's gonna walk on out here. I'm like, no, I'm gonna roll on out of here, or little of those things like that. But being able to give people permission to feel comfortable and ask questions is probably the most important because that it's not their duty to understand all this. It's ask me questions. I don't care. Tell me exactly, you know, if they someone's in there, if they're looking at me, I'm like, I tell them really quickly how how I got hurt. So they're not just sitting there wondering, they're listening, but I want people to ask questions because that's how we become more empathetic in this world, is more understanding.

SPEAKER_01 11:32

One of my favorite moments is when he was badass and he did the Oscar uh announcement or something like that. I'm like, oh freaking boss, like Superman.

SPEAKER_02 11:47

Oh, yeah, he just came out, and it was so cool because I I had forgotten about that, you know, when that first happened a long time ago. And then recently this year, the documentary, Superman Documentary, came out. Very it's awesome. It's on Max, it's also on Amazon. It's so great. But and then they sh replayed that of the Oscar when he did it, and I was just like, okay, that is people don't realize he went on to direct movies and star in movies even after his injury.

SPEAKER_01 12:13

I don't know.

SPEAKER_02 12:14

Oh, yeah, it's it's it was impressive. Directed movies and really well too. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 12:20

Honey, man, you have to all you have is your voice. Like, I need you to move four feet to the left.

Fitness, Studies, And Staying Ready

SPEAKER_02 12:27

But I tell people all the time, I preach to them, just because you're injured doesn't mean you don't have power. And make sure that you you self, you know, you self-direct what you need and what's going on, be part of community, be part of life. Um, you know, if you can make the phone calls or if you can, you know, never be disrespectful, but don't be feel a bad, you know, stand up for yourself, understand your rights, and do it in the correct way. But we can do this, you know, and people, I there's nothing more frustrating when people ask somebody that's next to me about something. If I want, I'm like, nah, you know, I my ears work, my mouth works, I can I'll take care of what I need, you know.

SPEAKER_01 13:05

Just like this book says, nothing is impossible. It's exactly it. Um what are the chances that life telemax and Chris Ferreeves Foundation can collaborate?

SPEAKER_02 13:21

It's gonna happen. In fact, uh, you know, um my my director of the National Paralysis Center, Regina, is over there. I've already talked to her. We're we're talking with the I'm off on Monday, but Tuesday, I'm back in the office. I'm the first one of the first calls I'm gonna make is to our communications team and getting something going. I'm gonna give you my card and you'll have my email, my text, you are. But anybody that wants to reach out to us, it's Christopher Reeves.org. We provide any information that you on specific thing from anything from skin pressure to going back to work to working through Medicaid problems to sex to um you know, bowel bite or whatever it might be. We can we can provide this information, but you can also reach out to me when you're there, when you go through the program and I can set you up with a mentor. I'll talk with you, and I will set you up with you or your family members with whatever you're needing.

SPEAKER_01 14:15

I want to like like I want I wanna be I want it to be okay to put life to the max and Christopher Reeves together on a shirt or something.

SPEAKER_02 14:25

I think we need to we need to do something. I I mean I'm already I'm already, you know, on your side. I mean, even though you're a Bear fan, that's okay. I mean, you did beat my Cowboys this year, but we'll we're not talking about that. Okay.

SPEAKER_01 14:36

Well, there is one thing I want to tell you uh next steps is a place that I go work out in uh Willow Springs, Illinois Trail on the outskirts of Chicago. Uh yeah, there's a owner, John O'Connor, worked with Christovies. Oh wow, nice. Yes. So like it would be like full circle. Like, and I work with them now, and I'm supposed to be going to San Diego, hopefully, for a study that they've been working on to try to get me out of this wheelchair.

SPEAKER_02 15:14

Well, you got to keep me up to date on that. And then I at our booth across here is um we call her nurse Linda. She does nerd uh uh twice a month chats about any specific paralysis, spinal cord injury, problem. But she was the head nurse for Christopher Reeve when he was injured the whole time. So I bet you they maybe crossed paths as well.

SPEAKER_01 15:35

I wish I'd love to. But you need to let me know.

SPEAKER_02 15:38

I want to know when the study goes when you go and how it goes and what's going on.

SPEAKER_01 15:41

Oh, yeah, she will exchange information. Well I'm not alive right now, so I can't I can't exchange information. No, no, I understand that.

SPEAKER_02 15:48

I'm not giving out phone numbers either right now. But I I do say Christopher Reeve.org, you can go to it. But I yeah, I I mean that's amazing that they're doing that. I mean, yeah, and the fact you're staying in shape because I tell people you even if you don't have access to a gym, there's YouTube videos, there's stuff out there, but we got to do some, you know, even if you're limited on just a little bit of movement, do it. Uh breathing, what it all this can all help our health.

SPEAKER_01 16:12

Yeah. You know, yeah, that's a beautiful thing. Uh thank you so much for coming back.

Closing And Ways To Connect

SPEAKER_02 16:17

Hey, thank you for giving me this opportunity. This is a uh, I mean, I we're definitely gonna do something together. And I hope so.

SPEAKER_01 16:23

Yeah, I I would love to be in like just just the name with the customer.

SPEAKER_02 16:29

Yeah, and I mean, I listen, you're not getting rid of me. You're you're stuck with me now. So uh but uh uh thank I want to thank everyone that's out there listening. And if you need anything, please don't forget to h hesitate to reach out to us. So, okay.

SPEAKER_01 16:41

Christopher.org, everybody, and for everybody who has to listen to this podcast. If you like this content, please like, comment, and subscribe.

SPEAKER_00 16:51

And as always, you notice that remote everybody checking to my best, stay focused. Try to keep it cool. Are you lame to stay focused?