Life to the Max Podcast
Welcome to 'Life to the Max Podcast,' where resilience meets inspiration!
Join us on a transformative journey through the life stories of remarkable individuals, including Quadriplegic Army Veteran Maximilian Gross. In this empowering podcast, we dive into tales of triumph, courage, and the human spirit's unwavering ability to overcome obstacles.
Our show is a celebration of diverse narratives, from awe-inspiring achievements to the darkest of traumas. 'Life to the Max' is a testament to the power of living authentically, no matter the circumstances. We believe that everyone has a unique story worth sharing, and we invite individuals from all walks of life to join us.
Discover the profound meaning of living 'Life to the Max'—a concept that resonates differently with each storyteller. It's a journey of perspective, resilience, and finding joy amidst life's challenges. Tune in to be inspired, motivated, and reminded that there's strength in every story.
Ready to redefine what it means to live life to the fullest? Share your story with us and become a part of this uplifting community. Because, at 'Life to the Max,' every story matters.
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Life to the Max Podcast
how to date a quadripledgic: a helpful guide
Use Left/Right to seek, Home/End to jump to start or end. Hold shift to jump forward or backward.
Dating as a quadriplegic is basically a full-blown operation—no privacy, a built-in security team, and pulling up to dates like a VIP with a squad.
In this episode, Max gets brutally honest about modern dating, hookups, and relationships when your life looks nothing like everyone else’s. From having zero physical ability but full control, to navigating awkward first moves, sex, and absolute chaos behind the scenes… it gets detailed...
If you think dating is hard now—this will change your perspective real quick.
Dark humor, wild stories, and zero filter.
Welcome to the new Life to the Max
dating struggles, modern dating, hookup culture, disability dating, raw podcast, unfiltered conversations, sex and relationships, real talk, dark humor, dating reality, men’s perspective, no filter podcast
Dating As A Quadriplegic Asian
SPEAKER_06Today we're gonna be talking about dating life of a quadruple Asian. Basically me dating me, like what it what it's like. And I'll be foreshadowing what women are probably thinking and going through when they see me uh a lot as intimidating as I am. So let's get into that. Let's do it. Let's do it.
SPEAKER_00Just a couple of ponds all trying to get by. Just a couple of teas I'll try to survive. Live to the max, because you don't live it twice. Couple green thumbs all right, okay.
SPEAKER_04What w what's for you? Like what's hard for dating? It's a quadriplegic.
SPEAKER_06Because me, myself, I'm you know you're not a quadruple, so usually the first thing is like I I don't really get out, so uh I I like it's like a message or something. And if like we get like to the point where like we're about to hang out, we either either come to my house or we meet somewhere. So if I'm come if they were coming to my house, they're gonna have to meet seven of my wives, my Mormon wives.
SPEAKER_03That's right.
SPEAKER_06Friggin' Chris, Donna, Cindy, Tana, all of them, and they're all gonna be like, Oh, she's cute. Max could do better. Uh let's see how the this one lasts, you know. So complete, already complete.
SPEAKER_04Well, what so your vetting system, right? So it's not obviously the seven Mormon wives go on. There's there's gotta be more you gotta meet your family.
SPEAKER_06Oh yeah. So like there's like a wall uh it's like a whole wall. Like it's uh if you see an attack on Titan, there's a bunch of walls.
SPEAKER_04Holy shit. Yes, yes, fucking are you scout division? I'm scout division for sure. I feel like their fucking scout division, they're like, oh we got you, dude. We're gonna protect you from this giant. There's gonna eat you ahead, like yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_06Yeah, no, no, so like uh there's like the first the first wall, like the first line of defense, and uh they have to get past it, or they have to be like, I don't care what people say about me, I don't care what people say about me, and then uh we hang out, we watch a movie or something, and then they leave. And then I all throughout my house without me knowing, uh, there's just uh constant like chatter of my my love life. It's like it's like a it's like a soap opera, it's like read a book, please.
SPEAKER_04Dude, I will okay. On my aspect, I've had that, and like my so my mom's my bastion, okay. You have like a whole fucking tools of defense. Like this is gonna be hard to bad. Yeah, no, well, it's not bad. It's not bad. We're not fucking storm in Normandy, but like, you know what I mean? Like, dude, you know what I mean? Like, you got like, and it's good though, because the healthier part of it is like chicks get it, they get it, and they can they can vet out another chick. They could smell that like if there's some shit going on, they'd be like, ah, maybe it's not for him, you know, and then and you know as well. So you get to seek counsel, not only with your family, but also with the seven people that know you, and they're a part of you.
SPEAKER_06That's the good thing. That's the good thing. The bad thing is I hear their counsel. Yes, yes, you'd be like, you can do better. She's a stripper, you can do better. She's she's not second enough. So or I meet up somewhere and then uh like I'll be like, okay, let's uh meet up for coffee. So I have to drive there. Not uh not me, obviously. I can't drive, can't can't drive, so I have to like drive there with two other people, usually women, two other people, uh Evie and uh like uh another like nurse or something, and we have to get out. And I I can't imagine like how intimidating it is watching me get out of the van if like she's like in the waiting in the restaurant or she's like right next to me doing well like when you meet these girls, right?
SPEAKER_04Like they know, right?
SPEAKER_06They know that obviously they know.
SPEAKER_04Well, yeah, so then there you fucking go. I mean, she's let her ass wait, dude. You know, and like you're the you're the shit. You gotta rock, you gotta be the rock star that you are when you walk in there.
SPEAKER_06I wouldn't be I don't I'm not no. I don't feel bad. I feel bad for them.
SPEAKER_04I so you're foreshadowing what they're thinking.
SPEAKER_06Yeah, I'm like they're like, oh shit, I have to deal with this. Oh shit, there's like three people here. I didn't I I I didn't know there was it was gonna be this intimidating. And then when we get into like a restaurant or something, say like say like I'll I want to be alone, and then like everyone's like, okay, bye, we'll see ya, and then uh like I'm never alone. Big brother is always watching, so like I'll be like, well we'll be like ordering ordering food, and then like the waitress will be like I'm sorry what'd she say because it's so loud and I'm on a ventilator, so so they'll they'll be like, I'm sorry, what'd you say? So I'd like the cop salad, and then I'm sorry, what I'll go like done, which is how I call for one of my nurses, wherever they come over and they're like, What do you uh when I said tell her I want the cop salad? She's like the cops, oh the cop salad. That's that's beautiful. That's a great choice. Great choice. That's just like the dating aspect.
Flirting Without Making A Move
SPEAKER_04Okay, so so there's vetting, there's meeting them at the actual venue. Go in, go in. What else you got?
SPEAKER_06Uh relations.
SPEAKER_04Relations. What are you talking about, though?
SPEAKER_06My poem. Okay, first of all, first of all, I can't make a move. That's I can't fucking make a move.
SPEAKER_04You can't hit her with like the criminally offensive side eye. I can be like you know what I'm blurring.
SPEAKER_06Like I like I literally have to come on, bro. Like throwing a hard wink, like uh I literally have to be like, uh, do you want to kiss? Do you want like like I'm in fucking high school?
SPEAKER_04Dude, you're a fucking gentleman and they should appreciate you. Fuck these women, they don't deserve you.
SPEAKER_06It's very chivalrous. Yeah. Fucking very chivalrous of you. Yes, and good stuff. And then I hear this bullshit. I fucking hate this shit. Oh, you're the best kisser ever. And I'm like, dude, like, we're not in high school. First of all, I'm dating older women because they're usually my nurses.
SPEAKER_04That's right. That's right.
SPEAKER_06But uh, like a year ago I was dating a chick, and dude, she okay, all right. Relations. Okay. We'll we'll we'll get into that one.
SPEAKER_02But no, this is getting juicy, dude.
SPEAKER_06Yeah. So you're past a lie of defense. You don't care that my uh my nurses are talking shit about you. You still come in and you're like, fuck yeah, fuck yeah.
SPEAKER_04You know, you know Yeah, they fucking go get it at it.
SPEAKER_06Well, that's you might be that's how they feel when they they walk in, and I'm just like chilling there, like just like, oh, I don't know what's going on, because I really don't know what's going on. And like, dude, like if it's like a someone dropped a nuke if I have diarrhea. Yeah.
SPEAKER_04I too have eaten Taco Bell after being drunk.
SPEAKER_06No, like my nurse is like, holy shit, fuck goddamn it. They dropped it, they finally did it. They did it. We we have to fix it. We have to fix everything. Call the doctor, call the call the Congress, call the FTA, everybody.
SPEAKER_04I say that's CDC. Call CDC. This shit's worse than Chernobyl. Like fucking we need to clear the fuck out. Yeah. Okay. Well, hold on. So the inevitable goal though, right? Is like so you're like when you do your so I I would say that you would probably, if you do get married, and when you do get married, I'll speak to an existent.
SPEAKER_06I'm never gonna get married, fuck that.
SPEAKER_04Oh, okay, then here we go. We're fucking right on. All right, very well. So like in sickness and health and shit like that. So like, and you want somebody that's like gonna emulate and like take care of you, nurture you.
SPEAKER_06Okay, so that's the thing. So the so we're we'll we'll we'll talk about relations a little bit, but like, so I tell my girlfriend, you're not my caregiver, you're my girlfriend first. Remember that, and they always turn into my caregiver, and that's not good. I I don't like it because I abuse it sometimes too. I'm like, hey, can I have like uh a nerd cluster, or hey, can I have this, or like can I have that, instead of asking my caregiver, which is the nurse, do you know what I mean? Or or whoever's over. So I always want to like uh make that clear, like you're not my caregiver, but they let they're like, oh well, I like feeding you, and I like doing this, and I like doing that, which is nice, yes, it's nice, but dude, like the most the most like I would not embarrassing, but the most like hard thing to do is definitely have sex, and not it's not hard for me.
SPEAKER_04Like, do you not like the feeding part? No, I'm okay with that, but dude, I had I've done I'm just telling you from my end of this, okay. I've dated quite a bit.
SPEAKER_06Um I know, I've seen the whiteboard.
SPEAKER_04Yes. Fuck. Um, it's been for an hour and thirty minutes. I fucking showed you the lore of like, and this is dating.
SPEAKER_06That was just like that was just 2019. It was just 2019. Fuck, it was just 2019.
SPEAKER_04Dude, everything before that was fucking crazy. It was like Montley Crue documentary before that. So it like it like and I've had a chick do that for me. Like I've had a chick like feed me and shit, and I was just like, that's like you know, some people are like, ah, it's not for me, but like I I'm like, dude, that's when you're 10 years in on a fucking injury like this, you're fine with it. You should be eating.
SPEAKER_06Like, yeah, I want fruit now. No, I'm just kidding.
SPEAKER_04No, you're like, go get the fucking cheese. That's they hit them, they hit them in the lower part of the pantry.
SPEAKER_06So the girls I date are are sweet, like they're sweet girls, like, but they have to put up with a lot of bullshit. But then I find out like maybe they're not as sweet as I think they are.
SPEAKER_04Do you think it's the honeymoon mask calling off?
SPEAKER_06No, I I turn off the honeymoon part. Like, I but I start the honeymoon part, which sucks, because then like they're expecting that type of text messaging all the time, and it's like, dude, like I don't want to waste my voice on this. I'd rather like cause because okay, just imagine a phone is right for next to me. I have a phone stand okay. I want to lick your delete that. Delete that.
SPEAKER_04That's right. No, keep calling. Delete that's a good one. That's a good text. It better be at three in the morning.
SPEAKER_06Eggplant, I'm a miss you. Time time I'm out. Delete delete that. Delete all. No, fuck that. Delete all literally. That's my life.
SPEAKER_03How are you sending those at three in the morning?
SPEAKER_06Tap two. Tap two. I the thing. Show me your at dude. That's my life. It's literally like not.
SPEAKER_04Well, at least you're fucking direct with it.
SPEAKER_06Well, I'm direct.
SPEAKER_04You know how it is it for me? I gotta sit over here and be like, hmm. Like, I have to, like, they and like you gotta I I see I'm the fucking.
SPEAKER_06Of course I'm direct with him.
SPEAKER_03I'm the director.
SPEAKER_04God damn right, dude. Fucking well, okay. So here, on the on this end of the aspect, okay. So when I try it, okay, then I'm the asshole. And being like, yeah, it'd be fucking sweet if you did that. And they're like, fuck you. And I was like, I might.
SPEAKER_06So everyone always asks me, like, do you have a problem down there? And I was like, no, it's actually the opposite. I have like everything's good.
SPEAKER_04Yes. Yes. Tell me. How does okay explain?
SPEAKER_06The the soldiers standing straight.
SPEAKER_04Okay, so we're fucking camping.
SPEAKER_06Yes, we're camping.
SPEAKER_04Welcome to Western. Yep. You need a sign with your face on it.
SPEAKER_06Minnesota.
SPEAKER_04Minnesota Minnesota. Always camping. Pitch your tent here.
Privacy Problems And Aftercare Reality
SPEAKER_06So um if we if we get to the relation part, if we get to like the sex part, like which like usually comes with the territory, like they want to have sex, obviously. You know, uh because they are thinking they're making me feel good, which I want the whole reason why I have sex is to make a girl feel good. But I don't feel shit.
SPEAKER_04I actually so if it goes wrong, you could literally sit there and say I faked every orgasm.
SPEAKER_06You can faked every orgasm.
SPEAKER_04And then that will ruin her ego.
SPEAKER_06Nothing happened. No, no, for real. Yeah, it's so there's like a whole SOP, which is standard operating procedure. So if I'm about to have sex with somebody, whether it's in the middle of the day or at night, usually it's at night because I don't want to do it in the middle of the day, because then I have to like get we'll talk about cleanup, but yeah, we will.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, we will, but I'm not cleaning up. No, I wish. Well, yeah, I mean I would assume she's not gonna do it for you. No, but and and I'm still pitching it.
SPEAKER_04For fuck's sake, she took you to the rodeo. At least she could drive you home.
SPEAKER_06Okay, it's so so so yeah. So so like if it gets to that, you gotta turn the baby monitors off. Baby monitor, you gotta turn baby monitors off.
SPEAKER_04Dog, you know she's leaving one on. She's leaving one of them on.
SPEAKER_06Maybe the first one, yeah.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_06No, she was pretty loud. The first one was pretty loud. She didn't even she just she wanted to make a statement. She wanted to make a sneak.
SPEAKER_04The Pollock in is is gonna ask me, okay. Yes, what's the wall situation? Like, do you got thin walls or do you have like thick walls? Like if I'm talking shit in the next room, can you hear me checks?
SPEAKER_01We go, there's baby monitors. There's baby monitors around the house to make sure if he's clicking, we can hear it. So he's got like there's there's receivers in the laundry room, in the garage, everywhere. So we can hear everything that's going on in the room.
SPEAKER_04So when the baby monitors are off.
SPEAKER_01That's where he's at.
SPEAKER_06So they know, like, okay, shit's about to go down. So you either have a freaky nurse that's in there, like, okay, let's hear this, or you have another nurse that's like, oh my god, she needs a race.
SPEAKER_03She needs a lot of things.
SPEAKER_06So I'm basically paying for a cook.
SPEAKER_04That's what's up. That's what's up here.
SPEAKER_06But listen, not looks. No, you can't look, but you can listen.
SPEAKER_04Can you imagine? She's like, I hear everything.
SPEAKER_06No, but like, like, so this is me foreshadowing again. Imagine what's going through that girl's mind. Like, oh, I'm about to have sex with this person, and there's another guy, another girl, or another guy in the other room. Like, and I'm either gonna be loud or I'm not gonna be loud. And the first one, she did not give a fuck, dude. Dude, she was loud. You really, yes, very obnoxiously, like it was I I was just like, okay, I was like, yeah, right, bitch. No, you fucking take it, you like fucking and then she was like, Can you feel that? I'm like, fuck it, I can't, but I really can't. I can't I can't feel anything. Yeah, and so so that that's what and then like the and then after that, okay. Uh do you know when you back then you used to masturbate and like well you you probably GTA with the with the Russian one because they had the strip club?
SPEAKER_04Yeah, I remember.
SPEAKER_06No, do you just you just freaking masturbate and then uh like cleanup is always like a shameful thing, you know what I mean? Yeah, you always you always like the worst sock or whatever. Yeah, it's just the worst. It sucks. You're like, what did I just do? Like this is a sister horrible.
SPEAKER_04You're like, I'm better than this. You're gonna clean myself up and what the fuck am I doing with that? I've ruined my favorite sweatpants.
SPEAKER_06You're looking so I'm done like having sex. Your mom's like, why do we gotta keep buying new socks? So I'm like, so I'll I'll like ask her, I'll be like, Are you done? Are you done? Like, like, are you done having sex? Like, because I can't finish. Oh shit.
SPEAKER_03Because I can't finish. All right.
SPEAKER_06So that's very awkward. So after an hour of this girl riding me, I like uh and having multiple orgasms, um shout out to me. Thank you of God for allowing that to happen.
SPEAKER_04Thank you for your cervix.
SPEAKER_06Thank you for your cervix.
SPEAKER_04Thank you for your cervix.
SPEAKER_03Yes, that's right.
SPEAKER_06I appreciate that. That was that was super sweet on him because a lot of people have it rough out here.
SPEAKER_04Hey, not all heroes wear capes, but we're gonna fucking get you one. That's for sure.
SPEAKER_06But cleanup dude is always so weird. It's always it's always like, okay, let me uh first of all, they just they like scurry on to the bathroom and actually clean clean up their cells. I'm just sitting there, just like, I really want to watch like modern family or family guy or something like that. I'm just like, I just I'm staring at the ceiling because I have like sleep number body, it goes up and down. I'm just like staring at the ceiling, and I'm just like staring at my lift. I have like a lift for the ceiling.
SPEAKER_04Dude, there's so many possibilities that you just hit me with right now. And I'm I'm gonna be 100%.
SPEAKER_06We use the lift.
SPEAKER_04I I'm yeah.
SPEAKER_06We we we use the lift.
SPEAKER_04I just want to let it yeah, you fucking better, bro. You fucking walked in there like fucking Miley Cyrus. I came in like a wrecking bone.
SPEAKER_06The thing is, I can't control it, bro. So sometimes she's pushing hard as fuck, and I'm like shh, okay, alright, we're good. Alright, we're good, good, good, okay, let's just and yeah, so it doesn't get boring, but like I said, clean up, okay? Clean up is always always sucks. And then uh they start cleaning me up, and then I do the the the tremendous I do that.
SPEAKER_04And then some bam shit. Wait a minute.
SPEAKER_06Like you you have like a like a you know I tell my I tell my nurse, I'm like, have some water. Wait, so what I'm drinking hydrate right now. I was like, what's for lunch? It's like eight o'clock at night. That's like what's what's what's for lunch? What's for lunch? Fuck, yeah, dude.
SPEAKER_04So wait, hold on. You're eating after this event, too.
SPEAKER_06You have to.
SPEAKER_04Okay, dude, yeah, because I dude, I'm telling you, when I fucking shh you have to like I show up, like Richard Simmons with like a fucking sweatband, like ready for a workout.
SPEAKER_06I'm not having an orgasm. I'm more of like getting a workout in because they keep pushing on my lungs, and when I I have my lungs get pushed on, I don't know.
SPEAKER_04So now you're watching.
SPEAKER_06So now you're like, oh like we just fucking ran a marathon.
When Intimacy Becomes A Medical Scare
SPEAKER_04You weren't even trying, right? She's over there. I'm gonna run your ship. Dude, you're getting Okay, okay. So let me hold on, hold on, hold on. There's gotta be there gotta be in your arsenal, okay. There's gotta be in your arsenal, there's gotta be like one chick that it was like, hey, like it was a good experience. Like I like like great like great.
SPEAKER_06It was uh it was they're all good experiences, you know, except for when I almost died with a girl on my face. That wasn't a good experience. Well, I it was good. That was a hell of a way to go out. Like a lot of people were telling me, like, dude, if you would have died like that, and people asking my boys that were chilling with me, like they would tell they were like my my friend Luke or Rainhofer came in and he was like, Are you good? Are you good? Because this girl was doing this so much. It popped my breathing tube off, and I was like, Oh shit. Did she know, or were you just like fucking like like we were like we were listening to Lilouasy Vert? I couldn't click because it was like a suction thing. So she was trying to drown out the I I just couldn't click, period. Like, and we were listening to Louisie Vert, you know, like this back in 2017. Yeah, back in those days.
SPEAKER_07I said, Why gonna you I said why you keep hollering?
SPEAKER_04Like, I'll never forget that. Did you ever turn did you ever like so she's trying to drown out maybe the noise of her by putting on the music up?
SPEAKER_06Maybe I don't know, like, but I I like it's whatever. Like, so I've had some weird experiences, I've had some good experiences, but when it comes to like if I have a friend, like yeah, if I have a friend and it's like recurring, like I I guess like that's somewhat dating.
SPEAKER_04So are you dating to marry or are you dating to just like have uh like a somebody to hang out with?
SPEAKER_01Max is your lawyer, don't answer that.
SPEAKER_04You'd be like, Don't don't answer that question. You'd be like, Alright, okay, okay. Okay, okay, I'll see you.
SPEAKER_03I see you. I see you. Shut up.
SPEAKER_04Where the fuck is my lawyer when I hit?
SPEAKER_06I plead the fifth.
SPEAKER_04You're like, I plead the fifth of Jack. I play play the fifth.
SPEAKER_06So I guess what you're saying with when it comes to like dating and stuff, that that's like it's really hard for me because what's your dynamic? Okay, the dynamic is is that every time the girl leaves, I always have to hear bullshit from either my nurses or my family.
SPEAKER_04Do you think that they're your inner monologue being like looking at the behests of you?
SPEAKER_06Like um like my lord, I basin chew.
SPEAKER_04This this wench I don't like her.
SPEAKER_06Sometimes I think people just don't like like who I'm dating, which is fine, but fuck fuck you. Like I can date who I want. Yeah, 100%.
SPEAKER_04I think they're looking out at the behest for you. Yes. And I do shit. Like my mom, the amount of chicks that like like she's seen me date, or like my family members and stuff, they have done that as well. That's no no matter where you go.
SPEAKER_06So like I guess like dating as a quadruplegic is extremely tough because first of all, you gotta get the girl here. You got the girl here. Now you gotta make her move. You know what I mean? And then you gotta say, do you wanna do you wanna do you wanna give me a kiss? Do you wanna know?
SPEAKER_04What are the what are the pros of that? Tell me the pros.
SPEAKER_06The pros that's a good question. Okay, the pros. The pros are that I I am the director of this porno.
SPEAKER_04There you go, you get what you want.
Boundaries Condoms And Relationship Roles
SPEAKER_06Yes, so if I say like, okay, push it back, I I mean like like like basically I'll be like, this is how I'm gonna get off, and like I'm not going to get off, but this is how I'm gonna get off.
SPEAKER_04Some okay, in our job field on this end, yeah, some dudes are afraid to ask.
SPEAKER_06To ask no, I have to for certain shit. Well, you have yeah, well, I I have to ask. You have the advantage. Or they can be like, you know what? I want a fucking kid, and maybe maybe some pre-com will come out and they'll put a fucking little needle into my condom, and then bam, I have a kid. So you gotta balloon out of the state, check that shit. Dude, it's scary shit. Scary shit. I was having sex without condoms, and then like I uh my team came in and like came in like after three days, and they're like, hey, listen, like I really think you should wear condoms, you're being an idiot. Stop being an idiot.
SPEAKER_04But it's no. I think we both agree that what's what's better?
SPEAKER_06I can't feel anything.
SPEAKER_04Oh fuck. Oh fuck. Oh fuck. Alright, all right. Well, for they fucking I can't even defeat that. So why the fuck for me? I prefer to fucking bareback. Rock stars don't rap, by the way.
SPEAKER_06Okay, but so why so I is why is a girl saying, hey, like, you don't need condoms, so condoms, see what I mean?
SPEAKER_04She's trying to probably secure some fucking yeah, don't want the five dollar sundress cost you 18 years of child support.
SPEAKER_06It's my baby. I want life to be a baby, and I I don't want a baby. I don't want a baby. So that that's basically dating. I mean, like, that's that's like the tip of the iceberg. I mean, like, if like breaking up is weird, uh one was breaking uh moving in, that was really weird. So I I didn't think that was that was really weird, right?
Type Preferences And Deal Breakers
SPEAKER_04Like breaking up was I feel like like so okay, so hold on, explain this, okay? What is in your normal dynamic of the girls that you date?
SPEAKER_06Oh, so like a type.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, yeah. Okay, a type.
SPEAKER_06So Latina.
SPEAKER_04Oh shit.
SPEAKER_06Yeah.
SPEAKER_04I don't do I'm Puerto Rican, I don't even do that. Former staff members. T. Fucking bring the China set up.
SPEAKER_06Former staff, former uh we got the tea.
SPEAKER_04We got the tea. Well, at least they know how to, you know, they already know like how to take care of you.
SPEAKER_06Yeah, like that. That's that's that's somewhat of it, you know. Or and and uh just like uh like like I'm bitching a tent when they're uh getting me ready for bed or whatever.
SPEAKER_04Like so, like that's fucking cool.
SPEAKER_06You never know.
SPEAKER_04Rock out, man. You rock out with your cock out. See ya, dude.
SPEAKER_06If you're going down, you're going down swinging, dude.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, that's right. I'm wearing a fucking kilt next episode. I'm fucking even like roll coat with you at a cook out. That's the eat.
SPEAKER_06My type is like Latina, they have to have a nice voice. If they don't have a nice voice, I can't.
SPEAKER_04Do you like them speaking Spanish to you? Is that what it is?
SPEAKER_06Yes, absolutely. What the fuck? Is that even a question? I don't know.
SPEAKER_04I don't know if you want like a Kirkland Latina, she was just like, nah, I was raised here.
SPEAKER_06Teeth is big, and I'll I'm only talking about appearances, which sounds really, really do you like tatted chicks? Uh it's okay. It depends depends. Like I'm not really so like family oriented and really chill. Uh if they don't have kids, that'd be great. Like, but um Dayton with RH? Because I'm already a fucking kid. Like Yeah.
SPEAKER_04Oh, I never grew out with a kid face.
SPEAKER_06Well, no, like I'm I'm like like you have to take care of me. Not the girl, like in general, you have to take care of me. It's hard, you know what I mean? Yeah, so like like and I want to like go places, and I don't want to know if little Timmy has to be with her his father or his deadbeat father isn't in the picture or whatever.
SPEAKER_07You know what I mean?
SPEAKER_04Oh, so like her family coming with and shit like that.
SPEAKER_06Not her family, just like like I I don't want I'm not I have I'm 30, yes, I just turned 30, but I don't think I'm gonna be a stepfather, and if I am, then that kid better be playing Fortnite because uh dude, that'd be gang.
SPEAKER_04Hey man, single mom's gotta eat too.
SPEAKER_06Well, yeah, I'm not I'm not I'm not like well, it's not out of the question. All I'm saying is that that's uh pretty much not like what I go for. Okay, it's nice teeth and like just uh and then they have to be like loyal and you know sweet and kind. So you want like a yeah, that's really everything that a guy wants that a guy uh doesn't get, you know what I mean? And then and then sometimes I do like uh back in the uh like in the past, I I had this this girl like me and she was only she she was five foot nine, so it's like yeah, she you're too tall.
SPEAKER_04She's too tall?
SPEAKER_06Yeah, I was like, you're too tall. Yeah, I'm sorry. Like I like I can't do this.
SPEAKER_04Like so there's like a height uh you want a shorty. Shorty. Do you know why?
SPEAKER_06Because when I'm in a wheelchair, I don't want to look up. I want you to look down at me. I want you to I want you to be it to be hard for you to kiss me. I want it to be a challenge to bring to bring this episode up to speed, like we went over uh how hard it is for me to date and and quadruplex in general. Like, but for me in particular, I have to like always uh be plugged in as well, like into a wall, like or into a battery, because it's uh like I I need humidity because I'm on a ventilator and I don't want like cold air going through my throat to where like I can't like talk and I start talking like this and then I'm like you're really beautiful.
SPEAKER_07I hope we can talk soon.
SPEAKER_06Where I could be like, what's up, eh? Yeah, you're you're beautiful. All you gotta do, all you gotta do is make sure you got the humidity. So humidity, number one, number two, I had the two lines of defense. I got with the fucking nurses, and then I got my family, where or they team up or they're like arguing amongst amongst each other. So then number three, no fucking privacy. So it's for everybody out there, all those girls out there are watching us. Uh I know a few that are gonna watch this. Yeah, that's life. Uh, if you want to date me, that is my life, and that is just the tip of the iceberg. There are cameras in my house. There's I I have I I have my cameras, but there are cameras in my house.
SPEAKER_04So you like the highlights later or what?
SPEAKER_06I mean, I was just gonna fucking honestly I wish now like we gotta get a better angle.
SPEAKER_04Fucking look like it's just cameras.
SPEAKER_06It's like I I am surveilled, I am like like surveilled. There's cameras in my house.
SPEAKER_01Like people are like what about the hat? You put the hat on the camera.
SPEAKER_06Yeah, if you put the hat on the camera, that's true, but it still has audio.
SPEAKER_04We are gonna get you, yeah.
SPEAKER_06My house, my house is souped up like Jeffrey Epstein's island. Like there's cameras everywhere.
SPEAKER_04Dude, this place is suited up like Fort Knox. When you first told me about it, yeah, what I was like, I was like, oh yeah, he's got like you know a house, and he's like, I thought you were in like the like a bougie like the area where they have like the bougie like side setups where it's like the duplexes and stuff and it's set up. No, I wasn't expecting fucking Fort Knox when I walked up in here. I'd like what I was like, am I in the right place? And I came up in here and I was like, oh my god, dude, this place is like a castle.
SPEAKER_06It's a manor.
SPEAKER_04You're the king of the castle.
SPEAKER_06And I and I yeah, yes, I am a king. A king sits on a throne, which is this wheelchair. So, I mean, like, so yeah, so like that's that's stripped out through it. Yeah, it's stripped out. And next time we could talk about like your like struggles, because I know you definitely went through a ring or you told me of like a few times. I mean, like that's that's me living life to the max. Like when when I'm not like, hey guys, I'm living life to the max. Cause I know I do live life to the max. I do. Like, I mean, like, name another person that's like me that's gonna get laid. That's like the it's a dime in a dozen.
SPEAKER_04Dude. Yeah, I mean, but you're gonna you like in the you gotta speak it into existence.
SPEAKER_06Like you will find like a well manifestation, of course it works. Oh fuck, yeah. I know it worked for this uh nurse that came on, but uh I wasn't able to get with her. Really? I would have sh I would I would shout her out, but I'm not going to.
SPEAKER_04You're not going to? Nope. We'll shoot her a text tonight, 3 a.m. Gotcha, bro.
New Studio New Teammate Final Words
SPEAKER_06She can't do this if she's working.
SPEAKER_04Okay. There's Jack for that.
SPEAKER_06There's Jack for that.
SPEAKER_04I got you.
SPEAKER_06Well, uh I'm happy like uh to have you and like Evie like on the show. I'm happy to finally have a fucking studio.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, shout out to Evie, by the way. Look at this setup, dude. That's like it was like it was all big pimping. She's like a paint and everything.
SPEAKER_06It looks like uh it looks like a teenager's room in 2007.
SPEAKER_04Dude, it looks like it reminds me of actually Grand Theft Auto, like Miami or Vice City.
SPEAKER_06Vice City, yeah. That's what we were going for.
SPEAKER_04Dude, that's but that's what it was, bro. I saw it, I was like, yo, that's big pimpin'.
SPEAKER_06So Rico is uh going to be a part of the show. So Rico, welcome, welcome aboard, everyone clap. Can we get a clap? Yeah, it's a good one. Thanks for having me. Yeah, Rico is going to be a part of the show, and uh I'm your host with Osmax Gross, and this has been Life to the X. Paralyzed for neck down, breathing through a machine, but that doesn't stop me from following my dreams and doing what I love to do. I don't have an excuse, and neither should you subscribe.