S5 EP8 Dallas :The Split- The " Don't Talk Trash With A Weak Stomach or Ego" Episode

Your enemy texts “meet me at the stadium” and you actually go. What could possibly happen? 

We’re back in the Golden Age of primetime mess with Dallas Season 5 Episode 8, “The Split,” and I’m tying the drama to a real-life truth: ego will have you walking into situations your common sense should refuse. I start with a childhood story about ignoring a stomach warning sign, pushing through the day, and learning the hard way that embarrassment sticks around longer than you think. That lesson becomes the thread for everything that follows, because Dallas is basically a case study in what happens when pride drives the plot. 

On screen, Pam’s therapy session turns into a pressure cooker as adoption starts to feel less like a choice and more like a fix for old abandonment pain. Bobby keeps paying for clues in the Kristin baby daddy mess while trying to balance work, marriage, and crisis management. Meanwhile, J.R. Ewing is getting squeezed from every direction: oil prices drop, Clayton Barlow refuses to blink, and the secret financial moves J.R. made behind his family’s back start to look like a trap. Then the payback hits hard, with Afton turning to Cliff Barnes and Jock’s letter reshuffling Ewing Oil shares in a way that leaves J.R. scrambling. 

And yes, we have to talk about the Cotton Bowl scene: a full-on psychological drive-by where J.R. tries to break Dusty by poking the most sensitive insecurity he can find. It’s nasty, it’s effective, and it proves the theme of “The Split” better than any speech ever could. 

If you’re into Dallas recaps, soap opera storytelling, TV character analysis, and the messy psychology of power, pride, and revenge, hit play. Subscribe, share the show with a fellow primetime fan, and leave a review. Would you show up to a stadium if your enemy asked you to?

Transcript

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Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, welcome and welcome back to Soap Lore, the official gathering place for newbies, novices, and OG Die Hard fans of the Golden Age of Primetime. I'm your host, Jeb viewing and reviewing one of the funniest episodes of Dallas I've seen in a very long time. So whether good new to this or true to this, sit back and enjoy. Tell the kids it's time to play outside or out of sight till they have no questions, suggestions, or concerns for the next 25 to 35 minutes. Everyone else in earshot, ooh, white, or kicked out of the only option we've got to do wisely because we are watching our story. Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, this is Soaploor. Hello board. Welcome and welcome back to another 42 edition of Soaploor. I hope your day is shaking up fantastically. I have been waiting to talk about this episode for a little bit, but the lesson here is so big, it's so timeless, and it is so important that I think you might need a little something today. It's really not that serious, but why not? Let's celebrate, let's have something a little more delightful than usual. Just to, you know, let's look, we're sliding into spring. Allergies and flowers are blooming, drama all over the world. It is time to sit back and relax as we dive into a fantastic episode of Dallas, season five, episode eight, the split. Can you do the splits? I don't think I ever have been able to fully do that, but I mean I've gotten this far, right? Never been able to do the splits, but I have slipped more times than I care to count. If I've already told this story, bear with me. It is what it is. I promise you, there's a point here, okay? Young Jet is about nine years old, I guess. I'm in the fourth grade. One morning I wake up for school not feeling fantastic. Side note, I've never been great at dealing with nausea, mostly because it doesn't happen very often. It is few and far between when I have a stomachache or something to that effect. Any illness, really. But on this particular morning, I woke up feeling a little bit off. And for whatever reason, I didn't say that I didn't feel well. I just sort of zombified my way through breakfast. My dad was like, Are you okay? You seem a little off. Yeah, I'm fine. I'm fine. It'll pass. I'm thinking I'll go to school a couple hours in, I'll start to feel better. No big deal. I want to go. I get to school, and a couple hours later, to my grave disappointment, the stomach thing is tripping. It's turning up a notch. So I reach out to my teacher, who happened to be one of my friends' moms. And I'm like, I'm really not feeling good. She's like, Yeah, you kind of don't look great, but we all have to go to the nurse's office to get checked for lice. So when we go in there, just go ahead and call your parents. I'll get your stuff ready. Don't worry about it. I looked at her and thought, you know what? This is exactly why she gets the big bucks. This is exactly why you are shaping and molding the minds of the youths. That's a fantastic idea. So we all make our way to the nurse's office, which in my school was outside in another building. So we had to go down the hall, down another hall, outside through the breezeway, and then connect to the nurse's office. I mentioned that because if you've ever had an upset stomach, you know the more you move around, the less wonderful you feel. I'd been sitting sedentary at a desk. Needless to say, I grossly underestimated my nausea. Our class was the first one to arrive at the nurse's office, but for whatever reason, we were like the we had to line up in alphabetical order with the entire fourth grade. My last name ends with an S, so boom, I'm at the end of the line. This really, really sucks for my day because I'm not feeling well. The people right around me are kind of picking up on the fact, so I guess I must have looked much worse than that than I felt. Because these children, nine-year-olds aren't really good at picking up on stuff like that. They're like, yo, are you okay? I just need to get to the bathroom. So I try to make my way to the front of the line, passing all the people with the last name R, Hughes, oh, right about oh my sorry, Ortiz, you gotta move. I'm being polite though. Like, I don't I don't understand the urgency. I just know I'm starting to feel hot. Things are gonna go left real quick. In order to keep this a clean podcast, I'm not gonna use a word because you might be eating some more derbs. I'm not trying to ruin your day. I want you to have a good time while you listen. So let's just say I had a gastric issue. In order to relieve myself of said issue, I needed to eject the glitter from my stomach. You know what glitter is is replacing. I didn't know this. Again, I was not great at reading signs of nausea. So, right about the time I got to the kids, the letter P with the last name, the glitter starts to violently escape my body. It is a terrifying ordeal. Imagine 94th graders screaming at the top of their lungs. I'm trying to run through my own glitter to the bathroom. That was my only goal. I just need to get to the bathroom. That's all I need to do. But there's so much chaos because of the glitter that is coming from me that children are running every witch away in this small building, this kind of tight hallway. So I'm bumping into people. They're trying to climb up the wall, they're trying to levitate, they're trying to disappear, they're trying to do anything they can, lest they be covered in glitter. Glitter's already difficult, but someone else's glitter is disgusting. So I start to freak out, realizing I'm not going to make it to the restroom. So I try to spin on my heels, but instead of spinning, I kind of slip and slide. And as I find my footing, I begin to take off running so that I can run back out of the door and just release the rest of this glitter by a tree or something with some dignity. But your girl messed around and slipped in her own glitter. I then had to scramble up. Mind you, glitter is still coming out. I then had to scramble up, and I thought, F it, I'm just gonna run to the bathroom. I don't care if I go in the boys' bathroom. I don't care. I just gotta get somewhere where I can shut a door because at this point, I'm very conscious of the fact I'm not gonna be able to shake this off. I'm not gonna be able to just go home and sleep this off. I'm gonna I'm gonna develop a little bit of a reputation. So I'm trying to save face and the rest of my school outfit. I managed to scramble to my feet. I managed to take off running again towards the restroom, and by this point, the kids have cleared the hallway. They are still freaking out. I'm sure other people are releasing glitter, but I, you know, I had a lot on my mind, I couldn't be worried about that. I burst into the restroom, managed to bless the wall with all sorts of glitter, make it to the toilet, and I'm completely done by that point. Needless to say, no one gave a damn about the lice after that. I did go home. Uh I I understand that the janitorial staff had quite a bit of work cut out for them, and for that I I am I'm forever grateful and I really am sorry about that. Whoever called my parents must have given them the full rundown because it wasn't my parents who picked me up. My parents worked. My grandma happened to be home that day, so she comes to pick me up, and maybe they didn't give my, I'm assuming whoever told my parents told them about the glitter. Whoever called my grandma, whichever parent that was, must not have given her the full rundown, but she was she knew that I was had a stomachache or something. So when I got car, she had the backseat like covered with the bed sheet. So she just let me lay down. She's from the old school, she didn't care about car seats or anything. Plus, I was nine. She's like, you're fine. I'm just laying down, kind of replaying the whole thing in my head. My stomach is still tender, but I'm like, oh my God, that really happened in front of God and everybody. That went down. I managed to get home and I get out of the car before she does, and she says, Jet, what's in the back of your head? And I had to say, Well, this is what had happened was I explained the whole thing to her. She cackles for about 10 minutes, leg dangling out of the car. It was one of my favorite memories of her. She fell out in the beating of like, you know what, this is funny. I can live with this. But I was still embarrassed. So a little later on that day, I'm chilling by the window in the living room, still not feeling great, but I'm bored and Jenny Jones or whoever isn't on yet. I see one of the boys from my class walking down the street. Now, full disclosure, I'd had a crush on him probably for years at this point. And I really did want just any excuse to talk to him. They had recently moved next door. But he was the class clown and kind of the bad kid in class. So I should have known better. I was, I blame it on the delirium from losing my food that afternoon and and not feeling great or whatever. I must have been a little bit loopy because I thought it would be funny to yell out of my window while I'm sitting in my Barbie doll gown, hey Ashy. I said something about his knees being ashy. And he was always ashy. That's just a fact. I can't, and he always had crust around his nose. But I still thought he was adorable secretly. So I yell out something about him being ashy, and he looks over to my house and he's kind of looking through the window and he's like, Jed, is that you? Is that Miss? He then begins to pantomime my whole humiliating experience, complete with uh faux wretches. He's all he's flailing his arms around. Then he goes and he pretends to slip and fall. And I was like, oh my God. I have forgotten briefly what my day had looked like. So I had no choice but to take the L, to quietly close the window and slink back on the couch and try to pretend like nothing happened. Luckily, I think I had a good enough personality to be like, okay, that was legit funny when I finally did return to school. I had to live now, I had to live with that for a little while. It didn't follow me most of my life. I'm comfortable enough speaking about it to you. But I learned a very, very valuable lesson that day. Two lessons. Number one, do not ever mess with your stomach. If you have a stomach issue, stay home. I have never made that mistake again. That's not something I will even try. If I feel even a little bit uncomfortable, I'm not gonna play myself. It's too much. But number two, you gotta know what you're bringing to the table. If you want to high side or you want to talk about somebody, you want to be funny and yell funny things out of the window thinking you're really sticking it to somebody, you gotta check yourself lest you live with a year's worth of embarrassment every time that person reminds you fatal flaw. That happens on today's episode of Dallas. An ego is a terrible thing to bruise. I am so mad I have this all typed out, but it is all gone to sh. So we're gonna wing it the best I can. Goes a little something like this. We see Pam and Dr. Conrad sitting in Dr. Conrad's office, and I'm starting to question this woman's bedside manner. She's asking Pam ever so delicately, why are you so messed up, but your brother isn't? His mom left him too. Let me rewind a little bit. What Dr. Conrad says is, Pam, didn't your mother explain to you why she left? Of course she did. Well, what it what why why aren't you getting it? What are you not getting? Pam's like, I understand why she left, but accepting and like really taking that to heart is two totally different things. I have the comprehension, Doctor. It is not a comprehension thing, it is an acceptance thing, and that is where I'm getting hung up. Thank you very much. Dr. Conrad says, Well, your brother got left too. He turned out fine. Why are you so weak? Pam says, I'm not necessarily weak, and I understand my mother had her reasons, but I just feel a way about it. That's all. So Dr. Conrad's like, okay, cool. So let's say, let's say you can work through this. How do how do you feel like you're gonna be able to work through this? Pam tells her, I can work through this if I have a child of my own. Now I'm feeling a way because I can't have babies naturally, and this adoption thing is taking a long time. But if I can just adopt a child and take care of that child and not leave it like some bum in the middle of the night just because I have a drunk husband, amen, then I can stick it to Rebecca subliminally that I'm a better person than her. This is me extracting the essence of this scene. This is not verbatim, but Pam's whole thing is like if I can have a kid and not leave it, then cool. It'll like reverse all the things in my head. This is becoming very, very stressful. Good old boy scout Bobby. He's having problems at work. You know, they want him on the Senate floor, but he's got to tend to his wife. Plus, this whole baby daddy Carmen San Diego thing is taking up a lot of his time. Which brings us to Bobby in another undisclosed location in the middle of Dallas by Courtyard and a fountain. Seems to be the only park in Dallas that this crew goes to. Bobby once again meets with Brad Pitt H. Macy, delivers yet another$2,000 check, and receives yet another page of Xerox Copies, aka receipts. This time it is from some random law firm that has been funding Kristen's Trust. Pitt Macy is starting to feel like Dallas is mad sketchy and he doesn't want to hang around much more. Plus, this whole$2,000 lick has kind of dried up. We don't know who the baby daddy is. Plus, there's like 1.3 million people in Dallas County circa 1981. There's 2.3 million people in LA circa 1981, 1982. Let's just say that half of those are women. Let's say that like a quarter of those are even too young to produce children with Kristen. Let's say some are not interested. That still leaves by my calculations because I didn't add or subtract. I just started talking. Little under a million people who could be Kristen's baby daddy. I guess we could break it down even further by the wealth, probably only married men, only people you could blackmail. Otherwise, what's the point? Or this could be William H. Macy, Brad Pitt's baby. But we all know SJR. Bobby don't know that though. But Bobby's got his handful. He's got to find a loose-leaf baby that his wife can adopt. He's got to keep her from going absolutely cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs inside the hospital. He's got to serve the people of Texas on the Senate. He's got to be brought. It's a lot tired. He's starting to grow weary. So is his brother, who is having a little bit of a wake-up call. When last we left, Clayton Barlow strutted his big fine self into the office of J.R. The Ewing. And he said, Not only am I not going to return your ex-wife, I am not going to return your ex-wife son, because that's her baby, as far as I'm concerned. And I'm also not going to buy the oil from you because you was too dumb to do your homework, my guy. You don't know that you're going to lose money all day, every day. All I have to do is wait you out. I'm an old man. I've been doing this a long time, baby boy. You're going to need me before I need you. This left J.R. completely perplexed because he really hadn't thought outside the box. He made sure to secure everything. He made sure to ask the question of whether or not the oil was going to prosper, but he didn't do his due diligence and put eyes on it himself. And now, at the top of this show, he wakes up five million dollars broker. Things are not going well. We'll get back to that. Meanwhile, at the Southern Cross, Clayton Barlow is still trying his damnedest to keep his business afloat. He is refusing to fire all the people he needs to fire at the refineries. He's like, tap into this account, tap into that account. Like I said, he's an old man. He's been doing this a long time. So he's got the funds. He has he has made the provisions to make sure that when a rainy day hit, he could do a little something. Plus, he already knows he just needs to hold on. He don't need to win this. He just needs to be ahead of JR. That's all he got to do. Sue Ellen, who is sipping lemonade or whatever outside, overhears Clayton having to make yet another gut-wrenching, difficult decision about his business. She stands up, Clayton, I can't let you do this. I'm so sorry. Please stop doing this. Don't sell nothing else. I'll go back home. Please just stop. He's like, absolutely not, Sue Wellen. And at this point, it's not, it's it's about it's bigger than you now, baby girl. It's bigger than you. Well, I'm gonna have to see this thing through. So back at South Fork, the family, which now consists of the Krebses, Ellie, and JR outside Eden Breckey. JR's stomach is probably bubbling like mine was that one morning. But he can't say anything. He's just reading the paper, and he's very upset about the price of oil dropping. Now, for for a family whose livelihood is mostly oil, it is beyond me why they're all not more concerned. They should be at least half as concerned as J.R., but they're all writing it off. Like, well, ewing oil's doing fine. I mean, it's this is the way of the business, and the only people hurting are those who's hoarding the oil and who can feel bad for them. JR immediately swallows the lump in his throat because what can he say? He is indeed hoarding oil, but he is doing it secretly. His family thinks everything is Gucci. He they don't know that their livelihood rides on a very secret and very petty decision that he has made behind their back. A not so secret decision that was made by Ray Krebs is starting to starting to stress him out a little bit. Y'all remember that uh that property that they purchased in San Antonio, the one where he was supposed to do the dirt work, which once again, Ray is supposed to be the dirt whisperer. Turns out there may or may not be an issue. So Ray and Donna return to their home where an editor has come and helped Donna polish her biography on her ex-husband, Mr. Culver. It is a smash hit allegedly this is this is the editor telling her this. Donna, this is a phenomenal book. Do you have a career in politics? If you don't, you're going to very soon. This is going to be a top 10 seller, blah, blah, blah. She's elated. Ray is elated. And then he uses the word, I didn't know you were going to be a successful authors. There's no way that kid has that vocabulary. No shade. I'm not saying he's an ignorant man, but I'm he definitely ain't using that word. Well, right about that time, Ray gets a call from one of the architects or engineers, whomever, and he's like, dude, I need to give you some news, but I'd like to string it out a little bit. Can I keep you stressed all evening and maybe we can have lunch tomorrow? Ray says, I think that's a great news because I don't really like facing things. Let's have lunch at the cattleman's club tomorrow. Well, on tomorrow, the engineerslash architect says, so so this is what happened. That dirt that you didn't test turns out is very, very soft. So we're gonna need to reinforce it with this and that in order to make the foundation for your villas solid. It's gonna cost you a pretty penny, my guy. It's gonna be real expensive. And Ray's like, Well, damn, I didn't foresee that happening. So all the money I put out is all the money I got. I can't really do nothing right now. Okay, and the architect's like, I get it, man. I'm I'm sorry to have to tell you all this. Do you want me to postpone this a little bit? Ray's like, yeah, yeah, hold off for a few days. Let me see what I can shake up. He's thinking this isn't his first deal ever. He's had some success other places, so maybe he has a relationship with the bank. Maybe. This is not good for his bruised ego at this point. His stomach starts to gurgling because now he has to face the fact that maybe just maybe I still need someone to hold my hand in this. And there's no shame in that. But he brought his lady into this, the lady who's a millionaire, the lady who's about to be a juggernaut in the political realm, or at least in the book realm. Now he's got to face her and be like, hey, babe, um, apparently I'm not much of a dirt whisperer. Something went on right. It's really not that big a deal, but ego-wise, it is a big deal. He does end up going to a bank to see if they if he can get$3 million. And at first, the banker's like, well, yeah, you and your wife have plenty of money in the bank. We can definitely loan you that. He goes, Well, you see, what had happened was I don't really want Donna on on this one. I want it to be just me. The banker all but says, Oh, okay, we'll see. Anyone with a mom knows what we'll see means. You better start rodeoing or something, Ray. I don't think it's looking too good for you. Well, let's tap back into JR just for a minute so that we can talk about after afternoon delight. She is still singing and slinging them chicken wings at that lounge when JR enters the building. He talked real cash crazy to her last week, but this week he needs a favor. He had told her to shape up and ship out, and she better start. Shaking a little something for his creepy older man friends, or else she ain't gonna get a singing career. She ain't gonna get no record deal. So she she agreed to ship up or shape out. Well, on today, she must be feeling away. She's had the last piece of chicken she's gonna eat for a long time. She's tired of looking at these people, tired of singing in this place. I need something more for my life. JR comes in and he's like, hey girl, you want to go to the Bahamas? She's like, Yeah. Oh my god, JR, you have no idea. I was just thinking to myself how much I needed to get the hell out of Dallas. He goes, Okay, cool. So you can go with Leland and I want you to make sure he has a good time. She hits him with the classic elementary school line. No way, Jose basically tells him, I'm done. No more shagging old men. Well, J.R. is not having it. Matter of fact, he's not going to take lip from a second-rate singer. He grabs her by the upper arm and begins to shimmy and shake her. He's going to rattle some sense into her brain. Only he's so caught up and he's so nervous or whatever about this deal, about this oil dropping and the fact that he's about to have to come up off a bunch of money and give it to Leland, and she won't give up the ghost. He is blind to the fact that Mitch better have my money. Cooper has entered the building and Mitch sneaks him pow right across the cheek. So it was a solid punch. I didn't think Mitch had hands, but he isn't going to be a surgeon, so that makes sense. Mitch punches at least a day off of JR's life out of his ear hole. JR's like, well, I'll be damned. After you're fired. JR does not fight. He just says a darn. He doesn't say nothing to Mitch. He just leaves. And Afton's like, damn, Mitch, why'd you do that? He's like, I've been wanting to punch that man for a minute. She's like, yeah, I appreciate that. I appreciate you looking out for me. Plus, let's go on and get a to-go plate before I get fired. And Mitch is like, that's cool. Afton is not done yet. She has been humiliated. She has been assaulted in some manner. And it's time that JR is paid back. Just quick aside. Every time this man gets a side chick, he manages to destroy her ego in some way. And then they start spilling all his secrets. Wouldn't you think he starts keeping a tight blip, or perhaps paying call girls, or perhaps going under a pseudoname? Something. He doesn't. And that's neither here nor there. Only it is because Afton is big pissed and she knows just who to talk to about it. Afton reaches out to none other than Cliff Barnes, who has a huge hate moaner for JR and will listen to any and all gossip pertaining to him. Even if it spills from the lips of the woman who called him a loser not two episodes ago, Afton reaches out and is like, Cliff, I need to speak to you. Do you think we can go to lunch or whatever? He's like, absolutely, let's do this. So at lunch, she starts singing like a canary. JR took out these loans. He's dealing with Leland Vaughn, Vaughn Leland. Cliff is like, nah, uh-uh, that can't be. You see, I'm very nosy and I'm very petty. So I keep a very close eye on all the comings and goings of Ewing Oil. Their money is perfect. Their books are immaculate. What are you talking about after? She goes, uh, no, no, no, no, no. You don't understand. You think I'm talking about Ewing Oil. I'm talking about JR. J.R. took out a bunch of loans. J.R. got a hundred million dollars from five randos, and then he got a hundred million dollars from Von Leland or Leland Vaughn. And see what had happened was he was banking on this dude out of San Angelo giving back Sue Ellen and the baby. Only the man said he wasn't gonna do it. So now this man is screwed. Now I'm I might be adding a little bit more. I don't know if she knows about Sue Ellen and then, but she definitely knows about the money. And Clip's like, all right, well, how do you know all that? She's like, I know all that because JR was trying to make me hook up with the dude, but I didn't really want to. I just got him real drunk and he likes to talk a lot when he's drunk, and he told me everything. He even told me he hates JR for real, for real. And he is banking on the fact that JR is about to default on these loans, and he's gonna take over. He's gonna take the business from him. Now, Cliff, oh my God, Afton, are you so for real? She's like, I'm so for real. He's like, Okay, cool, cool, cool. What I need you to do is set up a little something between Leland. I'm gonna pop out, we're gonna set this whole thing up. Now, why are you helping me? She's like, I mean, I have things that I want in my life, and I don't have the resources to do it. Even though I insulted you, now that you are the head of a company that makes you worthy of my time, and I need to now use you since I can't use JR. Cliff don't give a damn. He's like, you know what works for me? Holler at Leland. We're gonna meet at your apartment. I'm gonna make sure all this is official. And they do just that. Leland comes over. This is so creepy. Even though he knows that Afton is not into him and that she finds him disgusting and creepy, he still shows up with the hopes of hooking up with her. But she lets Cliff pop out and be like, yo, I heard you want to destroy JR. I am here to serve you in any way I can. Leland smiles, a smile of a man who's about to come into a whole lot of prestige. I think we're ready for the main event here. JR is freaking out. Afton has rejected him. He's lost five million dollars overnight. And to make matters worse, Leland seems to be very happy about all this. This doesn't seem like it's coming off as a surprise. So what does JR do? He's like, let me make sure all my ducks in a row. Uh, hey Leland, you want you want to go to the Bahamas? Leland's like, yeah, of course I want to go to the Bahamas. JR had to call a call girl to escort this man on an all-expense paid vacation via Ewing Oil to the Bahamas. Leland's like, that's cute and that's fun, or whatever. I'm enjoy the Bahamas, I'm gonna enjoy this young lady. However, you're gonna pay me my money, JR, in 10 days or less, or else you can kiss all this goodbye. Now, I don't know how they're gonna continue to drag out this whole jock situation, but I do know that despite there not being great telephone service, somehow, some way, Jock's Spidey sense is tingling and he's like, something is about to go down in Dallas. Let me go ahead and get with a lawyer here in South America and whip up something I can send to my wife. So Ellie is minding her business one morning, riding her bike when her granddaughter damn near runs her out of the driveway. Once she dismounts from the bike, she goes over to the post office, the mailbox, and collects the mail for the day. Now, Lucy is yerping and yapping all in her ear, so she's not really paying attention to the mail, but Lucy's like, hey, where's this big old big envelope come from? Ellie pulls it out, turns out it is a whole contract from Jock. Jock's strict instructions that he gave via the letter and not over the phone because phone service sucks, were that he wants the family gathered at their pre-dinner, pre-game pep rally, and he wants Ellie to read this in front of everybody. So, since my notes have vanished, I'm doing this from memory, but I think I got it. Jock apologizes for his lack of calling. He is indisposed at the moment, he's in the jungle, it's hard to get phone service, blase, blase. But since he is so out of, you know, he's out of the way, it's important that he put something in in place so that decisions can be made because y'all ain't gonna be able to reach me on the telephone. Great explanation to the audience. So this is what he wants. He is creating like a board or whatever, he's divvying up the 100 shares of ewing oil, and it's gonna go a little something like this. Miss Ellie, you get 30 shares. JR, no offense. I trust you very, very much, but also I don't trust you that much. I would do the same thing if Bobby was in the way, which I don't believe. But JR, you get 20%. Bobby, you also get 20%. So we are up to 70%. Garrison, aka Gary Extras medium shirt ewing, gets 10%. Ray the dirt whisperer Cribs gets 10%. John Ross Ewing the Third also gets 10%. So that's 100% all going to the Ewings, all male heirs, and Ellie. The caveat with John Ross Ewing the third is that if he is not living at South Fork, Ellie gets to absorb his 10%. Plus, he's a minor, he doesn't really, he can't really vote anyway. Ellie's gonna absorb his 10% so that she holds 40, which is the case now since the baby is no longer at South Fork. If the baby is returned, then JR is gonna absorb the baby's 10%, giving him 30. So it still leaves a lot of loose ends. Here's the thing: JR has been such a righteous butthole to his siblings that there is no way they're gonna just openly support pretty much anything he does. Gary definitely ain't gonna do it. And I don't think Gary or Ray really care one way or another about the Ewing oil business. But just out of spite, he has talked so cash crazy to both of them. They he might as well kiss that goodbye. They're gonna give Ellie those that 10% if she asks for it, no questions asked. Bobby might be generous, but JR has talked so cash crazy about Pam being a nut and uh calling her all out her name, all kinds of whoors and whatnot. Nah, nah, nah. Bobby definitely just on just on principle is not gonna be able to support JR. So JR is he's out there. Plus, he knows that his family doesn't know what he has done in the dark. So it's all about to go to hell in a handbasket, real, real quick. He's flailing, he's losing everything. His daddy sent a tele a manila envelope and robbed him of his rightful place. He's still the president, the acting president, that is, but he lost a whole lot of power. Plus, he lost five million dollars overnight. Now, what does a man like J.R. do when their ego is bruised and they're backed into a corner? Probably get drunk, go home, and try to pick a fight with their wife. But he can't even do that no more because his wife and his baby are down in San Angelo. He's gonna get drunk regardless, happy or sad. So that, I mean, that doesn't really feed what he needs to be fed. That void is still there. So what does a man with a bruised ego do? Obviously, you pick on someone even more insecure than you. And this is a part of the episode where Dusty enters the chat. Dusty and Sue Ellen are back at the Southern Cross watching his old glory days videos, watching him look the Bronco or whatever he's doing, he's riding bulls, I think. They're having a good old time. Phone rings, Dusty answers it, and it's JR. JR says, Hey Dusty, how you doing, brother? You think you can meet me tomorrow? For some absurd reason, Dusty says yes. I say it's an absurd reason, it's his pride. I wish his stomach had done a backflip right about then. Maybe he's a little more intuitive to his body's cries than I am, but it doesn't appear that he is. It is that ego. He's like, Yeah, I'm gonna face that man. I want to talk to him. It could be because he was watching his himself on a bronco and he was filling himself. Maybe that was it. I don't know. But for whatever reason, this man enemies calls in the dark of night, and you say, Yeah, I'll hang out with you tomorrow.

unknown 33:52

Please.

J.R. Baits Dusty At The Cotton Bowl

The Real Lesson About Ego

How To Text Or Leave Voicemail

SPEAKER_00 33:54

JR picks the most absurd location ever. JR says, Meet me at the Durndo Cotton Bowl. The Cotton Bowl, as in the stadium. Luckily, it's empty. Thank God, because this next scene was devastating. Lord, if there had been a crowd and a microphone, I would have disappeared. I would have gone to space if I was dusty. But they both decide to show up at high noon. JR pulls up through the tunnel in his extra long Cadillac. He jumps out the car. He's got on the gray pants suit, biggest, most expensive gray cowboy hat he can find with fresh feathers, crisp white linen shirt rolled up at the sleeves in the aviator. I gotta give it to him. I give him a 9.9 for the entrance. I give him a seven for the outfit, but the swag was on 10 for a grand total of 8.96 across the board. Fantastic intro. Entrance. Dusty went up some though. I gotta admit, he pulls up not in an automobile, but in a helicopter. You know they had to get air clearance and all that to land on the field. He's stunting. He's showing JR, you're going broke, but I still got the money. Dusty hops out of the elevator. Helicopter in a tan, sort of thinly pinstriped suit, three-piece vest, kind of a creamy brown color, light, light brown sand, if you will. Somebody picked out his fro real proper like. But the wind from the helicopter is blowing his jack, his jacket back. He looks fantastic. The suit fits him like a glove. He starts to walk to the 20-yard line because J.R. didn't drive far enough in the field. I wish they melt at the 50-yard line, but that's not how that played out. He starts to walk and he's got a slight limp, but I'll be danged if it don't work for him. It is nice. I give Dusty's entrance a 9.9, a 10 for the outfit, 10 for the swag, or a 9.96 across the boards. Dusty showed up winning. You got this man's wife, you got this man's baby, you have the love of this man's wife, you got a helicopter, you still got money, you got the use of your limbs back, you look good, you're fro, it is is perfect, looks wonderful. He's got everything going for him, but you still managed to show up and talk to this man whose ego is much bigger than you and I could ever expect. This is his fatal mistake. This is the equivalent of a nine-year-old shouting with fresh glitter on her back, probably still. I took a shower, but I'm sure it was still remnants of that. On my back. It's the equivalent of that. Dusty, you already know you have a very major, major thing going against you. Not that it's important in the grand scheme of things. Sure, you're a wonderful person, but you know what he's about to say. You know this because any person on earth knows the quickest way to offend a man is to go after you know what. Auntie Jet is gonna keep it cute just in case a couple of kitties can hear me from the porch outside. So let's just say this. JR opens the conversation like, look, bruh, I'm just looking out for you. I know we haven't always gotten along, but I can't get you off my mind since I saw you in court and found out about your little ailment or whatever. If you need to know, you you already know the woman you're with. You may or may not realize that she has an insatiable appetite. She loves a good mattress rodeo, my God. Back in the day, she and I had a wonderful mattress rodeo in relationship, and she still had to go out and find more cowboys. She is a true buckle bunny in all the ways. She loves bucking. I think I can help you out by giving you a very detailed, itemized list of all the cowboys she's been stepped out on me with. At first, Dusty's unbothered. He looks good. Like I said, he looks good. He's walking with a limp, but it works for me. He's like, no, thank you. I'm sure I don't need to know that that's fine. Plus, she's with me at my house with me. Okay, Darren's like, okay, okay. Well, I mean, she with you now, bruh. But like I had said a few moments ago, I was the rodeo champion. You feel me? I was I was basically winning awards and she was reaping the benefits. However, I'm not calling her a word that rhymes with a schmympfro schmany schmack, but I mean, she could probably be diagnosed medically as a schmympfro schmaniac. This is all Dusty needs to hear, you dirty son of a. He pulls a crystal carrington, reaches down through Louisiana, comes up through Oklahoma, right across the back, or right across JR's face with the back of his hand. Back of a man's meaty, cow hurting, cow bucking, yeah, solid bam, right across JR's face. It happened so fast, I almost had to rewind. I was like, damn. But JR, ever the egomaniac, and probably used to getting slapped, he already got punched in the face that same side. So maybe it was numb. It was like, oh well, I'm already hurt. I'm already hit. I'm gonna continue to say what I gotta say. Dusty is so pissed at this point that he turns on his$500 heels and starts to limp back to his helicopter, but J.R. is still chirping from the background. I mean, it's only a matter of time before she leaves you. She's gonna get it from somewhere else if she isn't already. I've seen your daddy. Your daddy's a big fine man. I'm sure he's taking real, real good care of Sue Ellen. JR, you dirty dog, you how dare you! Dusty can't say nothing. He can't say nothing. He's limping back to the daggone helicopter. Ego just gone because he can't service this woman the way he wants to. And this man is never gonna let him live it down. I just can't understand why you would show up to a stadium. Any man who is your enemy doesn't need to talk to you in the stadium. What could he possibly say to you? I would have been embarrassed. I would have thought he was gonna say something over the loudspeakers and humiliate me in front of everybody within ear distance, within a country mile. No, thank you, sir. But Dusty has no choice but to limp back to the helicopter and limp into said helicopter, strap himself in after this man just called his third leg limp. I'm so sorry, Dusty. Don't listen to him. She's not going after your dad. His dad is kind of hot. That's just me personally. That's my personal opinion. But she she's definitely not interested. But you know, that's all you need. All you need to do is plant that seed of doubt. JR has just messed with this man. This is psychological warfare. Dusty can't enjoy riding his horse anymore. Can't enjoy the rodeo with Sue Ellen privately. Now he's gonna be looking at his daddy out of the side of his eye, like, huh? Is he taking her down? Is he? Dun dun-dun. I would like to say a large and robust, resounding, absolutely not, but it makes for good TV. I do love that we've got a couple of enemies already chatter, chatter, chittering on how to take this man down, and it's only episode eight. Same thing happened last season, but we'll see how that turns out. I think the lesson here is you you gotta, you need to be so self-aware and so self-confident that when someone comes to blow something back in your face that you already know about yourself, you gotta be cool with that, or at least be able to not see, not let them see you sweat. All right, guys, that's it. That's all for this episode. Don't forget, you now have the option to reach out and holler at your girl via voicemail, via text, or via email. That's right. You can reach out in the show notes and say, Jet, I don't know. I I get it. The dad's a good deal. Actually, if you've already seen the show, don't tell me anything. Just tell me what you think of this particular episode. So there's a question for me. Would you show up to a stadium if your enemy asked you to? Reach out to me via the show notes if you're listening to this on your mobile device. There is a link that says send us a text. You can click that link. You'll also see the option to send a voice note. I'd love to hear from you. If you are more comfortable writing out your thoughts, works out perfect for me because I love to read. You can reach me at soaploorpodcast at gmail.com. That's S-O-A-P-L-O-R-E-P-O-D-C-A-S-T at gmail.com. Meantime, in between time, check the mail first. That's all there is to it. Children around the world have been checking the mail first, so the parents will see their crappy report cards, ruining their summer freedom. You gotta be quick on the draw, man. Especially if you're doing dirt. Stay hydrated, stay moisturized, mind your own business, listen to your gut, and keep all of your drama on TV.