S5 EP10 Dynasty: Kristina- The "Concussions, Confessions and The New Kid Carrington's Debut"

A pregnant fall down the stairs should be straightforward horror, but Dynasty turns it into a full-on domino chain of bad decisions, raw fear, and power plays that can’t stop the clock. We’re reacting to Season 5 Episode 10 “Christina,” starting with Crystal Carrington’s accident and the surreal panic that follows, right down to the maddening wait for the ambulance and the frantic rush to get her upstairs when she should probably not be moved at all. Once we hit the delivery, everything tightens. The baby arrives too early, the room freezes when she doesn’t breathe, and the story barrels into the hospital, where doctors deliver big diagnoses with even bigger attitude. We talk through the episode’s medical melodrama, including respiratory distress syndrome, the sudden jaundice scare, rising bilirubin, and the terrifying talk of an extreme blood procedure. It’s a classic 1980s prime time soap move: make the medicine feel like a cliff edge, then dare the characters to stand near it.  And because it’s Dynasty, the side plots refuse to stay “side.” Nicole Simpson’s “lock these documents in a safe” routine at La Mirage reads like a con in progress, Jeff Colby catches uncomfortable funeral chatter, and Alexis Carrington storms into the hospital with gifts in one hand and a grudge in the other as she tries to keep Blake from learning too much about Amanda’s past. We also dig into Stephen’s Santa Barbara PR trip with Luke Fuller and the insecurity it sparks back home. If you love Dynasty recaps, soap opera commentary, and deep dives into why these storylines still work, hit subscribe, share this with a fellow soap fan, and leave us a review. What would you do first in this mess: call a specialist, confront Alexis, or crack that safe?

Transcript

Welcome Back To Soap Lore

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Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, welcome and welcome back to another fun filled edition of Soflore. I'm your host, Jet, viewing and reviewing the Sophia Settius Prime Time Storyline from 1984. We are back in Denver, scraping up the fishing pieces after crystal devastating from around the street. So whether you're new to this or true to this, sit back and enjoy. Tell the kids it's time to play outside or outside. Tell babe no questions, suggestions or concerns for the next 25 to 35 minutes.

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Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, don't so forth. Hello, folks. Welcome and welcome back to another function soapboard. I hope your thing is opening up well.

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We are in yet another conundrum. We have yet another emergency. I have allowed myself the distinct honor and privilege of watching two episodes in a row of all of my favorite Ninja Tron Time soap operas. And Dynasty is no different. I may stack these a little bit differently. Don't hate me, but I couldn't help but see the correlation, especially between Dynasty and Knott's Landing, the emergency episode. This episode of Dynasty, season five, episode 10, Christina. I highly suggest if you are new to this or if you're true to this, that maybe you watch the episode first. I wouldn't watch it with me because I feel like it just doesn't go down that way. So maybe watch, I don't know, watch two episodes and then listen to me. I think that'll be fun. It's just sort of interesting to me. I always wonder what you guys think when you're watching it. Because if you've seen it before, there's enough of these shows, enough episodes that is to where I'm sure you've forgotten a lot of the details. But that's what I love the most about this. This is all brand new to me, and I love that I get to yap about it with you. So without further ado, we're going to jump into season five, episode 10 of Dynasty, Christina with a K.

Crystal Falls And Chaos Takes Over

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Look at her shoes. Lord, I like to forgot that Crystal had down the flight of stairs. She is laying at the foot of the stairs concussed. Blake is at her side. All of the maids come running out of the woodworks. Oh my god, oh Lord, Crystal. Excuse me, they don't call her by her first name. Mrs. Carrington, Mrs. Carrington. So Gerard, the um that's his name. Gerard, who took over Joseph's spot, says, why don't we call the ambulance? Blake Carrington says, No, no, no, no, no, no, no. That's gonna take too long. Let's lift my nine-month pregnant, recently fallen down the steps, possibly concussed because she was knocked out. Let's move her body all the way upstairs and put her in bed and we'll wait for the ambulance there because that's the most logical thing to do. I find it hard to believe that in 1984, 1985, people didn't know. If you if somebody has a traumatic accident, you shouldn't wiggle and move them a lot. And I feel like taking this woman upstairs is like shaking a martini. I think it's a bit much, especially since she's got this fresh baby in her womb. She's still knocked out, baby. They she fell out of she fell out of her mules. I just can't believe Blake didn't fall too. At La Mirage, Claudia is chilling in her office. I'm assuming it's one of those days where she just needed to step away. She doesn't seem to be all that eager when she hears a rat or tat on the door to our surprise. It is the lovely Miss Nicole Simpson. Clutching a Manila envelope tight to her chest. She goes into this spiel about how she's not really comfortable with these sort of important documents that she's holding. I don't really want them left loosely in my room. I just need them locked up safe. Claudia has had a long day, and it is, judging by the look on her face, it just got a whole lot longer. She looked at her and said, Girl, why are you talking to me? Go talk to the concierge. Why would you not come on now? But she says it in uh corporate polite talk. We have lockboxes at the concierge. Nicole's like, nah, no, no, no, no, no. These are way, way, way too important. So important that other people are chasing me for them. You can't just lock them up in here. You ain't got no safe. Claudia looks around and she's like, Chick, this ain't the La Quintha. This is La Mirage. Of course, we got safes. The hell? Give me your little papers. Get out of my face. I'm gonna lock them up. Well, as Miss Nicole leaves, she picks up the clutch that she set down. Now, I watched this a couple of times. I don't see a purse, but it could just be the way she was holding her body. So the first time I saw it, they zoom in on the purse slash book. And I was like, okay, are they wanting us to look at the book? What are they doing? No, no, no, no. Nicole picks out the purse, walks out. Claudia is tucking away the important documents in the safe, and she feels all of a sudden like, I always feel like somebody's watching me. Looks over her shoulders. Nicole's poked her head in her. She's like, damn, can I help you? Nicole's like, Oh girl, I just forgot my book. She goes and picks up a book that looks like a dictionary or a holy Bible. But she's looking at Claudia, I guess to absorb the numbers of the safe. We'll find out here in a little bit.

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Oh my god.

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Yo.

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Oh my god.

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Crystal is trying to be concussed in peace. And they're breaking smelling salts under her nose to wake her up. This got real heavy all of a sudden. Where the hell is the ambulance? Four minutes and 44 seconds into the episode. Girl, Crystal is TKO'd, fighting for her life. I could have sworn Blake said, honey, we'll be in the car in a few minutes. That's clearly not the case. Bristol is lying comfortably concussed on the floor at the foot of the steps where she was the last time we saw her. Mule completely kicked off, pantyhole still on. But someone had the good decency to run and fetch a pillow. They go to lift her up and her neck goes all whobity-wobity. And one of the staff says, No my god, no, she's probably in labor. We shouldn't do this. Let's all lift her up and take her upstairs. So Crystal is upstairs sweating and fighting for her life. Claudia has seemed to seem to have locked away the important documents from Nicole Simpson. She

Nicole Hides Papers In A Safe

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wants to be of assistance, I suppose. Blake is pissed. Where the hell is that ambulance? Now why we couldn't just leave Crystal on the ground? I'm sure I don't know. This is their effort of making her comfortable, but it seems like everybody was just agitating the hell out of her. Wait step, wait stuff, nursing step, not nursing. What the hell are these people called? I don't, this is out of my tax. The the uh the servants, servants are running in and out of the room, breathing all over her, give the girl some space. But meanwhile, back at La Mirage, Nicole Simpson is at the bar trying to get the tea. Nicole's trying to get the tea at the bar from one of the bartenders about Fallon's funeral. She wants to know who was there, who wasn't there. Was this big elaborate affair? The bartender's like, I don't really like talking about funerals. It's not really my thing, but if you insist it was a very private matter, the family only wanted family there. Nicole's like, well, weren't people offended? I mean, seems like it was kind of a big deal. What she doesn't realize is that Jeff Colby, aka Fallon's husband or widower, is behind her absorbing all of this. Like, what the hell is this? Oh, Jeff Colby's here. I should probably stop talking about his deceased wife to this rando. She turns around, like, listen, I'm so sorry. I was really just trying to be nosy. I didn't know that you were there, but I don't know a lot about you, so I'm trying to get the tea best I can. Meanwhile, back at the mansion and back in Istanbul, Adam Carrington has gotten news about Crystal slipping and falling down the stairs. I don't know how he got the news so quickly, but he did. I guess that's what telephones are for. Stephen picks up in the library and he fills Adam in as quickly as he can. Nah, man, she upstairs. They're waiting on the ambulance. Like they tried to lift her up. Not daddy, of course, but everybody else tried to lift her up, all the servants and stuff. Her neck was all wobbly. She's upstairs writhing and sweating and stuff. My wife is up there with a hot bowl of water, like it's 1865. I guess she's gonna be cool. Adam's like, dang, I show up, nothing happened to Crystal. I really like Crystal. Steven's like, well, where are you at? I'm in Istanbul, fool. Did daddy know about Rashida Med being dead? Steven's like, Does dad know about Rashida Med being dead? Everybody in the world knows that Rashida Med is dead. Now he died. What are you doing in Istanbul? Ain't that where Rashida Med became dead? And he's like, Man, I can't even talk about it right now. So they're on the phone. Crystal is upstairs going through it. She is in active labor. The ambulance is taking a long time. It's kind of odd because there's not a snowstorm or anything. Hopefully, she's not gonna be laying in this bed this entire episode. She doesn't seem to be concussed. Oh, there's the ambulance. There it is. She didn't seem to be concussed, she's talking. But she's scared. Not gonna be insensitive, so everyone's freaking out. Claudia has snatched the top half of her hair back so that she can cheerlead Crystal into birth. Blake's blue button-down should be saturated in sweat because Crystal is damp about the head, but she is still dressed in her mauve little maternity gown, but she is hipping and hopping off this bed, y'all. She is struggling. It reminds me of when you need to pee, but you're wearing like a full bodysuit and spanks, and you really have to go through it to get it off. She is backbowed off the bed, she's writhing, she's rolling, swearing off spanks for the rest of her life. And Claudia is at the foot of the bed. Now they keep showing Crystal's hands, fisting and twisting the sheets. And Claudia is at the foot of the bed, pulls out a fresh baby girl. Hilda, one of the maids, is standing by with a fleece yellow blanket, and they quickly wrap the child in it. But Claudia begins

A Premature Birth With No Cry

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to notice that the baby ain't breathing. What do you mean she's not breathing? She's not breathing. She's not breathing. Okay, oh my god, it's 1984. We know what CPR is, right? Claudia hands the baby to Blake checks for a pulse and decides it's time to give mouth to mouth. Only this is where I'm gonna be a little bit disrespectful. Y'all know how I feel about geriatric people. I love them. However, nobody in this room seems qualified. Not just an age thing, it's just a strength thing. You know what I'm saying? Crystal is upset because the baby's not crying. Blake is giving very, very poor mouth to mouth for this baby. Hilda is helpless. And Claudia, I feel like Claudia is too heavily medicated. She doesn't really breathe very deeply. She's just staring. So she didn't have the lung capacity. This is an emergency for crying out loud. Somebody get Steven, get off that phone. Get upstairs. We need somebody young and strappy. Okay, the ambulance is here. Gerard is boot scooting to the door. The rest of the servants are there. Okay, cool. Okay, ambulance is here. Everybody, we can relax. I feel very tacky saying this. They are taking the medical equipment upstairs, and it's one of those scenes where they have the camera really low, so all you can see is like their ankle and what they're holding. I don't know what sort of medical equipment it is, but this dude has like this, it looks like a looks like a makeup case for an MUA, but it is shiny, it has gold accents, and it's a cobalt blue. I need that. I need that real, real bad in my life. The ambulance arrives and Crystal is swept away to Denver, proper, wherever the heck the hospital is. A male doctor comes out to talk to Blake. He tells him that the baby is not breathing that well. Like she's cool, but she's not breathing that well. We're doing all that we can. Blake says that's not good enough. I want you to do all that you can, and then some and then a little extra on the side of that. The male doctor does the right thing. He goes and tells a female doctor to bring it to him a little bit later. But in between that visit and the female doctor visit, Blake decides he wants to put eyes on his brand new baby girl. He goes by the nursery, and as he's staring into the window, Jeff stops by for about 45 seconds to see the baby and talk to Blake. Jeff's like, I know you and I disagree on my Playboy lifestyle. But I really do care about Crystal and the baby. I hope they're okay. Blake's like, I understand. I know you care about Crystal and the baby. And I guess I should also admit to you that all I want still to this day is to see you and Fallon happy together. Oh my god. Somebody really phoned the scene in. I'm sorry. No, I'm not. I'm guys, guys, y'all. I can feel some of you rolling your eyes. No, I'm not giving him a chance. I am, but also think about what you thought the first time you saw this. I bet most of you didn't think a lot about this the first time you saw this because you were children. Had I watched this as a teenager, I wonder if I'd have a different point of view. Maybe I'd be more mesmerized by Jeff. But can we be so for real right now? Number one, Blake, let it go. Jeff's not into necrophilia. Thank God. He likes a live, warm, willing body for his quest. And also, since when does the play can we define Playboy real quick? And then I'll stop about it. I'll stop until the next episode. A Playboy in my mind is this sort of dapper, suave man who is able to travel

Hospital News And Cold Doctors

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or seduce, or not even necessarily travel. You can be a local playboy, but you have to have a certain amount of Genestecoir, as the kids call it. You gotta have the aura points, which is so weird. You gotta have swag. That's what you say back in my day. Swag or charm or something. He ain't got that. He ain't that good at tennis. He is very good looking, but oh okay, fine, fine. He's a playboy, and fine, fine. Blake wants his deceased daughter and his very alive, would-be son-in-law to raise their baby together in some sort of Beetlejuice fantasy. Fine. Do you? You like it, I love it. Lady Doctor enters a chat. She informs Blake. The scene is so intense. I will say, on Knott's Landing, I'm gonna drop this episode next. I made that decision because there's too many things to compare. On Knott's Landing and on Dynasty, one of the things that stands out to me about these doctors is yes, you do have to dumb it down so that the general audience will know what you're talking about. But none of these doctors have great bedside manners. They're like shouting very disrespectful things. Your daughter's livers are collapsing. She's gonna shrivel up and die, but we gotta go bye. Or in this case, your daughter has respiratory distress syndrome. And Blake's like, okay. Do you think you can bring in a specialist? She's like, No, you don't get how effing serious this is, man. Your daughter's your daughter has respiratory distress syndrome. And I'm thinking, is that asthma? That's what it sounds like. The baby seems fine. The doctor's like, no, no, no, no, no. We're not calling in a specialist. We'll do that if we absolutely have to. But in the meantime, in between time, we're gonna make sure she stays hydrated, maintains her temperature, and we're gonna make sure she keeps breathing. She's saying this with a straight face, like she just broke down the meaning of life or explained astrophysics to the audience. She said the baby is cold. We're gonna keep her warm. She's breathing on her own. We're going to not, I mean, we can't really do nothing about that. But I tell you what else we can do. We can punt that kid full of PD light. But specialists, hell no. Hell no. Not until she gets worse, okay? How dare you ask me that? Completely. I mean, I'm I'm slightly exaggerating, but we we gotta talk about her bedside manner. Two doctors steps back in and he goes, Not only do we need to keep an eye on your new baby, but we need to keep your wife in the best spirits possible. We gotta keep her her spirits high. She's probably really, really worried. Okay, cool. Yeah, he's not wrong. Shout out to whoever bought props this episode. These silicone babies are fantastic. I love it when they spend a little bit of money. They're like all jiggly and whatnot. They look pretty real. There's one doing the early 2000s gangster pose. There's another one kind of passed out, but they're doing really well. Shout out to y'all Dynasty. They dynasty didn't just spend money on clothing people. The props are top 10 unless it's the food. All the food looks great for some reason. So a little later on, Alexis shows up to the hospital in all

Alexis Arrives With Gifts And Smoke

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red and black. She's got on red gloves and a fire engine red outfit. She looks stunning. She waltz over to Blake, and behind her is her driver with a bushel of balloons and several well-wrapped gifts for the baby. I love a petty woman, but I also love a petty woman with principles. Yes, I can't send you, Blake. I definitely can't stand your wife. But also, a baby is a baby, and I'm definitely bringing a baby a gift. This is Auntie Alexis. Period. I'm gonna talk crazy about your parents to you, little baby. But you better believe I'm gonna have the best gifts. Period. She comes in, it's like, uh, you know, I'm coming in peace, Blake. Just bringing the baby some gifts. But also, who the hell do you think you are? Rosalind, my sister just called me from England talking about you looking into my past and whatnot. How dare you? Why are you looking into who this girl's daddy is? That ain't none of your business. Blake's like, not today, Alexis. Why did you really show up here? I think she personally showed up with balloons and a gift. Yes, to give it to the baby, but also to make a scene. She needed a little bit of decor to pop off the way she needed to pop off. But Blake's look, you know, you don't care about nobody but yourself. You don't love anybody but yourself. Don't come at me with this bull right now. My wife's laid upstairs, halfway concussed. My baby, it's breathing shallow but moisturized, I think. Get the hell out of this hospital. Alexis is scandalized. This is one of the things that bugs me about Dynasty sometimes. Alexis has a razor-sharp tongue and her wit is even sharper. Would that really hurt her? I, as I say that out loud, I realize she's sensitive about her kids. That seems to be her Achilles heel. So him saying that she doesn't care about anyone and she's never loved anyone is hitting her below the belt. She got an attitude the whole rest of the episode behind this. Meanwhile, upstairs, Crystal wakes out of a sound sleep the way you do when you realize you're late for work. She's like oh my god, oh my god, where am I? Where am I? Where's the baby? Is the baby okay? Blake tells her everything's fine. The baby's cool. She's like, Oh, thank God. Can I see her? Can I can I go touch her? No, no, no, honey. You have a concussion, not till you're stronger. But in the meantime, in between time, everybody's forgetting. She didn't give birth, concuss. He's like, Yeah, yeah, yeah. Um, I'm so sorry all this happened. It's my fault you tripped and down the stairs and gave birth prematurely. I just need you to trust and forgive me. Do you think you can do that for me, baby? You think you can trust and forgive me? She's like, oh, oh, oh my god, I have a concussion. Ow. Ooh, ow, my head. Eventually, Crystal is able to make the tender walk to lay eyes on her beautiful baby girl. Once she gets downstairs to the nursery, she and Blake are grinning ear to ear. The baby is chilling quietly in an incubator. This looks like a real baby. They go back and forth between the real one and the silicone one. This baby is chilling. And Crystal pulls a Blake Carrington and gives us a peek into her past. One time, I'm assuming at camp, Crystal and four other girls were on

Why They Name Her Christina

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this boat. Four of the five heifers that climbed into this boat, didn't know how to swim. They got to ripping and running and, you know, rocking the boat back and forth, horsing around, I suppose, flipped that some bitch over. They land off in the water, realize they can't swim, they're hooting and hollering, help me, help me, help me. But one of the little girls paid attention during swim class. She was certified and she was prepared. So she was able to swim and put, I guess, four child-sized children on her back and swim them to safety. I don't know if she did it individually. I don't really know how that happened. Chris will have to tell the story quietly and quickly and make it sound romantic so that she could justify naming her daughter after that tiny, tiny, life saving girl who put the whole team on her back. That young woman, young girl, rather, name was Christina. Christina. Now I had all but forgotten the name of this episode. But Christina with a K. I thought. About this, I too grew up with and knew a girl named Christina with a K. Now I don't know if she saved anybody from a boat. Christina Hall was her name, by the way. Christina and I went to school together. We were friends. Went to school from pre-K to graduation. Couple things stand out to me about the Christina I knew. Christina had a pet ostrich, which was a little bit unusual. I guess you couldn't really call it a pet. She lived on a farmslash ranch out in the desert. So among other animals, there was an ostrich, but this ostrich couldn't stand Christina. She couldn't stand it. So anytime you'd she'd invite you out to the house, she'd be showing you all the animals. They'd be cool. You'd walk up to the ostrich, it'd be all right. But she'd come around there and it's like it was always kind of watching her of the side of his eye, and it would like try to peck at her, peck her in the head. And I remember one time, clucked her right upside the head. She reached up and slapped it. It was the first time in my life I ever saw somebody slap an animal. But with all due respect, he had it coming for clocking her on the top of her head. The second thing I remember is thinking, oh, it I think I know why he's always watching her. Christina's mother was a bit of a, I don't know, just a genius when it came to ribbons. From the time I can remember, maybe from the time we were like in kindergarten at least to sixth grade. And then I think she finally told her mom, I just can't do this anymore. Christina had a fresh bow, one of them big old southern bows, every day. Like for every outfit she owned, she had a crisp, fresh, custom bow. Her mama would handmake them, like back in the day, you'd have that big clip and some hot glue, and she would make them like her mom would go to Kmart or wherever, buy the girl's outfit, lay the girl's outfit out, look at them, go into her tackle box, pull out a couple, two, three pieces of ribbon, some of that sticky paint that kind of bubbled over. I think it's called bubble paint, actually. And she would handcraft something that matched the girl's outfit perfectly. I can appreciate that now because I'm like, okay, her mama was on to something. Even if the outfit wasn't expensive, she had all the accessories. She would do uh custom shoelaces in the girls' shoes when we were really little and kids were still in style. She had hand-painted kids. Her mama was on her ish. And I think what had happened was Christina's bows were interesting and they were catching the eye of this here ostrich. And he would try to peck at the top of her head. Maybe Christina has more than enough visitors. Amanda comes through to see the baby, but she she noticed she runs into Blake outside and she notices that he had been crying. She asked him if he's okay. And he's like, Oh yes, I'm fine. Gosh, you just remind me so much of my daughter Fallon. No one could see through me quite the way my daughter Fallon could. She knew always knew exactly what I was feeling. And I'm like, did she know what you were feeling? Or did Christina see the tears? Excuse me. Did Amanda see the tears drizzling down your face? Of course she did. There's streaks all through your concealer. No need to be embarrassed. It happens to me all the time. We gotta talk about Stephen and Santa Barbara.

Santa Barbara Trip And Luke’s Vibes

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So Alexis tells Stephen, I need you to get to Santa Barbara. There's been a Colby Co. oil spill, and I need you on top of that. Or I need y'all on top of that, she says. Stephen's like, who is y'all? She said, You and uh Luke Fuller. Well, isn't Luke Fuller the the PR guy? Why do I need to go, Mom? She goes, That's exactly right. I'm your mama. You're my son. I need you to represent Colby Co., even if you are a Carrington. I need it to look like I care. I need you to be there in person. What she's not saying is that she has to stay home and make sure that Blake doesn't do too much digging and figure out who Amanda's daddy is. Stephen's not really into it, but he's like, okay, fine. I guess if you need me to do that, I can do that. So he goes to his office and he drops the somewhat disappointing news on a somewhat disappointing Claudia that they won't be having lunch. He's gonna need to fly out to Santa Barbara. And right about that time, Luke's little nerdy shelf starts poking in. Hi, hi Stephen. What time do you want me to tell the plane to take off? Claudia's Claudia's always got this look on her face. I need her to show just a little bit more emotion, but there is a slight bit of tension between she and Luke. She see that Luke is kind of fine, and he would be to me, but he's just so daggone nerdy. I'm not really feeling him. I actually got distracted and went back to season one because I wanted to see what Ted Denard looked like. Not very different. So perhaps that's why she's looking at him sideways. Steven has a very specific type, and she's not really his type when it comes to women, too. He likes fast, loose women, but I don't know. Maybe Claudia's a freak in the sheath. I don't know. Anyway, Steven is not really picking up on the tension, but you can see that there's a little bit of tension there. But he's like, Claudia, don't you trust me? Don't you trust me? Steven, do you trust you? You acting a little bit of nervous. Now, Luke is going to go tell the pilot what time to leave. Now, I don't know why they don't have a secretary, but like I said, Alexis has a revolving door of temporary receptionists who are usually men getting fired pretty all. I mean, they must be in between hires at this point. So they get to Santa Barbara, and it seems like all is well. Steven and Luke are kind of going through the process of what they need to say in Santa Barbara to keep everybody nice and happy. They're going through how they're going to present themselves, I guess, to the news outlets and stuff. Real actual PR stuff, not that crystal crap she was trying to pull. Luke says, Stephen, your wife is so beautiful. She reminds me of this French baddie, this actress. God, what's her name? So Stephen names Bridget Bardo because I mean that's probably one that most Americans know. And Luke's like, nah, nah, nah, not her. Older than that. So Steven names another one. He's like, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah. Younger than that. In the meantime, Luke goes to hand Steven his his glass of liquor and steals it on this man's cheap JC Penny shirt. Steven's like, got to be more careful. Luke goes, Oh, I'm so sorry. I'm the closey claw, blah, blah, blah. Okay, so I'm I'm I'm supposing this is supposed to be building tension. Not to be super nitpicky. This is implied, and I realize this because we're watching the show. However, there's no chemistry. There's no chemistry. Luke feels more like a spy to me or cop than like this. Oh, I'm interested. So I okay, maybe I'm jumping the gun here. Maybe I'm jumping to conclusions, but Luke seems like he wants a promotion more than he wants Steven to me. And Steven seems like the longer he's around, he's noticing, okay, Luke's kind of flying. Luke kind of looks like Ted Denar, but younger and better. Mmm, I don't know. He gets nervous. Okay, so he gets all flustered. Luke's like, my bad. Like, I'm sorry, I spilt this on you. Let me help you. Steven rushes off into the bedroom and stares longingly at himself in the mirror, probably trying to gain his composure. But I'm gonna say it again. It don't really seem like Luke was all that interested. It seemed like he really did just drop. And maybe he just don't like Claudia because he don't like that blank look on her face. And she's always kind of giving him the side eye. The next day, they're in these cabanas, and Luke stops by in an Audi Dawes tracksuit and a polo shirt. Can you even imagine? Complete square. He just opens the door. He announces himself, but he opens the door and it's clear that Steven's in the shower. The phone's ringing. So Luke picks up the phone and it's Claudia calling from a payphone. She's like, Oh my god, Luke, I'm so sorry. I meant to call Steven's room. They must have just they must have connected me to the wrong room. He goes, No, no, no, this is Steven's room. Oh, well, where is Steven? He's in the shower. Do you want me to, do you want me to yell in there? No, no, no. Don't don't grab him. Don't tell him nothing. Okay, um, do you want to leave a message? No, just tell him I called. Okay, well, I'll do that. Hangs up. Very matter of fact. Steven comes out of said shower, and Luke immediately says, Oh, your wife Claudia just called. Stephen goes, Okay, did she leave a message, return number, any of that? Very matter of fact. Luke's like, No, there's a bunch of noise in the background. I think she was at a payphone. She didn't say nothing. Okay, that's it, that's all.

Claudia Spirals And Makes A Move

SPEAKER_01 30:20

Claudia, the stallion, takes this phone call as I don't know what this is what I think, y'all. This is actually what I think. The last episode, she had that magazine open and she was creating smut in her mind. Mess around, fell asleep. So now when uh Steven goes flying out to Santa Barbara with Luke, she's like, Okay, I'm losing my husband. He didn't say I love you. He didn't say that. Girl, you already had that magazine open. You already have a midnight dinners. Let's be so for real, Claudia. You know that works both ways, right? Let's be so for real. So Claudia manages to stumble upon the Art Baddie whose name escapes me at the moment. And she starts confessing her feelings to him. Like, dude, I think my husband's slipping away. I've been through some tragedy. I'm just kind of remembering this. Crystal's baby is struggling. Watching her struggle with her baby today reminded me of my tragic loss. You know, I lost a couple people and now I feel like I'm losing my husband. It's all just too much. Art Baddie tells her Claudia, listen, don't say stuff like that. You know, there's people who care about you, people who care about you very, very much. He leans in and he places the chase kiss on her lips. He catches himself and he's like, Oh my god, I'm so sorry. She's like, No, no, don't be sorry. Matter of fact, do that one more time, please. A little longer, a little more passion. He's an artiste, he obliges her. So, Claudia, you crossed, whatever goes down from here on out, you did what you did. I'm trying to see if 1984 is about that life. I'm trying to see. Even though I think Luke's a square nerd, I don't know. Luke, Luke is giving spy. I'm I'm gonna maintain that. Luke is giving spy. Luke is giving, I need to get to the top of the food chain. Yeah, we'll see. Okay, so where am I? Oh, we gotta talk about Alexis real quick. Alexis has an attitude the whole time, but it's not really it. I'm I'm angry at the world attitude. It's like, oh my god, I gotta stay abreast of everything that is going on with Amanda type of attitude. She's hyper focused on what Amanda's got going on, and it's starting to piss Dexter off even more. We find she and Dexter chilling in her apartment. She's in this killer white gown with the clown. Killer white gown with these big, beautiful sleeves and white gloves. Her and Dex are bickering back and forth. He's mad that she's not showing any interest in him. She's acting all cold and distant, and she's not talking. They're trying to get to this party to make this deal, and she flips it on him. Like, well, all you care about is business. And why don't you go to the damn party by yourself? Dex, like, what is really going on? You're acting funny. I know when something's on your mind. I know everything about you. Why are you tripping? Dexter. She decides she has a moment of weakness, she decides to confide in him. Dex, can you believe that Blake Carrington is looking into my past? Not only is he looking into my past, he's trying to figure out who Amanda's daddy is, asking all these questions and stuff. And Dex looks at her like she's chewing gravy. Like, well, why wouldn't he ask that? That's a pretty why wouldn't he ask questions about Amanda's father? She tries to breeze over that. Well, I mean, it's not just the daddy thing. He's asking questions about me, blah, blah, blah. Dex is like, no, no, no, no, you're not gonna skate past that. Why are you so nervous about that? That's like the natural thing to do. You're the mother. Like, why? Of course, he's gonna look into you because if he figures out who you've been around, he can figure out who the dad is. It narrows it down. I'm inferring a lot of this. She gets super mad and decides she's not going to the party. You want to talk so much, go talk to whoever you want at that party by your damn self. I'm out. She goes upstairs and I guess retires for the evening, and Dex storms off to the balcony to catch some fresh air. Only he didn't realize that Amanda has been sitting sit standing outside on the balcony this whole time, ear hustling. She, of course, starts to stir the pot. She's like, All right, Dex, now listen, I heard what you said in there, and I totally agree with you. I think my mom is definitely hiding a little something. Dex is like, damn, eavesdropping much. Amanda reminds him, baby, this is my house. I live here. I'm not eavesdropping. In my house, you gossip. I'm just hearing, overhearing. That's what I was doing. Then the saxophones begin to whatever sexy music is. She starts trying to seduce him. Like she gets really, really close, and he leans in like he's going to kiss her. She gets cold fees, she backs off. Dex then delivers my favorite line. This is the line of this episode, as far as I'm concerned. These next few lines. If teasing is a hobby of yours, little

Dex Shuts Down Amanda Fast

SPEAKER_01 34:55

girl, I'd give it up and learn to make brownies instead. Amanda, like a true adult, puts her hands on her hips and says, I am 20. Something a child would say. And he says, Well, in that case, you can make a whole big cake. That is such a simple line. I'm like, who is in the writer's room this season? I love it. Make a whole big cake since you're so grown, little girl. Okay, we're almost done, guys. Let's get to Playboy Jeff. So Jeff is in Nicole Simpson's room. She's in the shower. He's putting his clothes back on, announcing to she and the audience that he's gonna go home and check on baby Blake. He didn't said that twice this episode. We all know the nurses take care, not nurses, the staff at the home take care of baby Blake. Jeff's like, I guess I'm gonna go peek in on my son, make sure everything's everything. Well, there's a rat a tat tat at the door. Nicole can hear this from in the shower, I suppose. And she peeks her head out the door and she says, Jeff, grab that. That's the guy with my dress. And Jeff's like, Oh, okay, cool, cool, cool. So he goes to the door, and the bellboy or bellhop, whoever is delivering Nicole's dress, he's patiently waiting for his tip, and Jeff pulls out his wallet. Mind you, Jeff is a Colby. Jeff is basically a Carrington. He has 15% shares in Denver Carrington that has suddenly been funded with $70 million and some fresh new Asian oil wells. But he ain't got no money in his wallet. And it ain't 2026. So he definitely don't have a debit card, he don't have cash out. Where's your money, Jeff Playboy? Exactly. Exactly. Only broke playboys can be broke playboys. Rich ones have to be rich, especially in 1984. So he's fiddling around his wallet. Either you know what? I just talked all that trash. Perhaps all he had is Hundos and he didn't want to draw off those. So he's like, hey, he hollers back at Nicole. Nicole, do you have a five? She's like, Yeah, look in the top drawer. My purse is in there. Take five out. He does as she says, and he

Jeff Finds A Photo That Changes Things

SPEAKER_01 36:52

uh he gives Bellboy his his tip, turns around to put something back in her. I guess he held the purse to put it back into the drawer when he sees Peter, the cocaine cowboy defibulated headshot. Autographed headshot. Says something like, To Nikki, my wonderful wife, blah blah blah blah. Nikki, wife, the filibuster, the denim doormat is pissed. Right about this time, Nikki Simpson opens a door to a furious Jeff Colby. She says, Hey, what are you doing with that? She mad at him for looking at her pictures. Why'd you put it in your panty drawer? What's the money? Why you keep everything in the top drawer? He snatches her by the wrist, excuse me, by the upper arm and then tosses her into the bed. And then it fades over to Crystal and Blake. Crystal is picking out matronly robes so that she can meet her little girl.

Jaundice And A Terrifying Procedure

SPEAKER_01 37:52

When enters Dr. Miller in her terrible bedside manner, she's coming in all wide-eyed to a very happy Crystal and Blake. And she's like, I have something to tell you. Blake says, Well, yes, you do, of course. Her daughter was doing fine just a minute ago. Can we go hold her? The doctor's like, No. One of the nurses noticed that the baby looked jaundice. I'm gonna mess up this world. So they did another battery of tests and the bilirubin, I might have mispronounced it. In the blood. The count of that is climbing in the blood, and it it's not good. Crystal and Blake are like, okay, well, what does that mean? Well, it could lead to seizures, brain dysfunction, neurological problems, or death. She then says we have to tap the baby's effing veins and drain her blood into an oil pan like an 87 Chevy Suburban. We're gonna drain your baby completely dry blood and do these massive blood transfusions. This seems like a scare tactic for big pharma circa 1984. I'm gonna call my parents like yo. Did anybody ever tell you to check my what did I say? Bill Rubin? Blah blah blah blah levels. I'm gonna be like, girl, if you better pay yo, Bill Rubens. Stop calling my house. The main question though is will this be successful? That's all Blake wants to know. Will this be a successful massive blood transfusion after you drink my baby's blood like Dracula? And the doctors all possible. There's no way to tell, but I'm gonna come in here wide-eyed to freak you out before we end this episode. End scene. Party people, things are looking bleak for baby Christina. Christina. Love that name. I know another Christina, and I think Blake and Crystal better play their cards right because this other Christina had a very wealthy mother. Her mom is a little controversial, and she pissed her off her whole life, so much so that when her mother finally did die, Christina darling wrote one of the greatest pieces of American literature to ever happen that was then turned into one of the greatest films of all time. It is my top 10. My mother to this day sends me different gifts or gifts and video. Different video snips of that movie because she knows I adore it so much. Y'all better watch out for Christina or she will write the blockbuster book on you. Alright, guys,

Final Thoughts And Next Time

SPEAKER_01 40:48

I think that's it. That's all. Join me next time the weekend back into our double feature. We gotta get back to Mount Lane because now we need to see what's gonna happen with Diana. Diana and Christina line on McDeck. If I'm understanding that, right? John just would have document wise, right? And the blood count to requise and then we uh yeah, but it's just not opening out right. So I'm gonna do in the meantime in between and photograph everybody's double.