Voices for Voices®

The Two Sides of Every Gold Medal: Oksana Baiul Opens Up | (Ep 317)

• Founder of Voices for Voices®, Justin Alan Hayes • Season 4 • Episode 317

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The Two Sides of Every Gold Medal: Oksana Baiul Opens Up | (Ep 317)

Gold medals have two sides—the gleaming face everyone sees, and the shadow side few glimpse. In this powerful conversation, 1994 Olympic figure skating champion Oksana Baiul reveals both.

From her extraordinary journey beginning as a four-year-old skater in the Soviet Union to her historic Olympic victory in Lillehammer, Baiul shares the determination behind her success. With remarkable candor, she recounts competing with serious injuries, improvising during her gold medal performance, and the surreal moment she realized her life had forever changed. "What is that? Am I supposed to now sign autographs?" she remembers thinking as crowds suddenly surrounded her after winning.

But beyond the podium lies a more profound story of human struggle. Baiul courageously discusses her battle with alcoholism, overdosing on medication, and finally seeking help at age 37. "Me personally, I grew up, my life had a lot of trauma... I was just drinking because it was basically covering up the pain of poor me," she reveals. Her journey to recovery illuminates the possibility of transformation, self-forgiveness, and finding peace beyond achievement.

Now at 47, Baiul shares wisdom earned through both triumph and struggle: "I have learned to forgive myself for certain things and I have learned to love myself for who I am, for all imperfections." Her message resonates far beyond sports—reminding us that behind every success story is a human being navigating life's complexities, and that asking for help isn't weakness but courage.

Whether you're facing your own battles or simply seeking inspiration, Baiul's story proves that our greatest victories often happen far from the spotlight. Follow our podcast for more conversations that reveal the humanity behind extraordinary achievements.

Chapter Markers

0:00 Introduction and Welcome

1:48 Olympic Gold: The Journey

9:06 The Day of Olympic Victory

16:27 From Gold to Darkness

21:00 Recovery and Self-Acceptance

25:14 Final Thoughts and Encouragement

#OksanaBaiul #GoldMedal #IceSkating #OlympicChampion #FigureSkating #AthleteJourney #MentalHealthAwareness #SportsStorytelling #BehindTheMedal #SuccessAndStruggle #InspiringAthletes #ChampionsMindset #OlympicExperience #PersonalGrowth #SkatingLife #justiceforsurvivors #justice4survivors #VoicesforVoices #VoicesforVoicesPodcast #JustinAlanHayes #JustinHayes #help3billion #TikTok #Instagram #truth #factoverfictionmatters #transparency #VoiceForChange #HealingTogether #VoicesForVoices317

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Voices for VoicesⓇ, Justin Alan Hayes:

Welcome again to another episode of the Voices for Voices TV show and podcast. I'm your host, founder and executive director of Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes. Thank you so much for joining us on this episode and over 300 episodes. Whether you've been with us from the beginning, the first episode, or tuning in for the first time, welcome, thank you. If you can give us a big thumbs up like share, follow, subscribe, all those free things, those would be very helpful to us to be able to share, not just my message and our organization, but our guest message. And we do have this huge goal of wanting to help 3 billion people over the course of my lifetime and beyond, and it's a huge goal, but we want to help and we thank you for joining us. We are absolutely thrilled to have the guest with us today. That we do. She's in town for another engagement and we got lucky and got a little window of time to speak with her, and so we are just so thankful. Our guest is Oksana Baiul, so thank you for joining us.

Oksana Baiul:

Hello Justin, how are you?

Voices for VoicesⓇ, Justin Alan Hayes:

Oh, I'm doing much better now. We're all set. So, for those that don't know, oxana and uh, obviously you probably are gonna start googling her, uh, but I wanted to share a little bit of information about her, her background and uh, that is uh, she uh not only was, but she still is a figure skater you teach.

Oksana Baiul:

I skate for myself, but I do teach and sometimes I like tomorrow I'm gonna go to an ice skating rink here in Akron, so and we're very excited about it.

Oksana Baiul:

Oh, my gosh, the more people I meet, the better it is for myself, because when I was younger, young generation would take photos with me and 30 years later they would be sending them to me and it's fascinating for me to see those photos and I'm like, oh my gosh. So yeah, tomorrow I'm going to be taking photos at the ice rink here in Ohio and it's just beautiful.

Voices for VoicesⓇ, Justin Alan Hayes:

It's so fascinating. You're a gold medalist from the 1994 Winter Olympics in Lillehammer, Norway. The gold medal was just it's just incredible to even just think about what that would take. So I guess the first thing I want to ask is your final program was a little over four minutes, but the preparation you didn't just show up and and and skate that that day for that performance that there was a lot of work that went into it and uh, can you just talk about just a little bit of like what type of dedication you had to have I grew up in soviet.

Oksana Baiul:

it's cccp used to be, and then in 1991 to be, and then in 1991, country fell apart and the area where I was growing up become Ukraine and my mother buried in Ukraine and everybody knows right now it's, you know, in turmoils with Russia which my personal feeling towards it it's. We can't wait for this to come back and this has been made for me in 2022. When I used to live in Las Vegas and seamstress actually from my hometown, whose, whose daughters live in Las Vegas they made this for me and this became my flag.

Voices for VoicesⓇ, Justin Alan Hayes:

It's beautiful.

Oksana Baiul:

So I grew up in the communist country, basically, and I loved what I did. Since the age of four I was going to the ice rink and I would spend all day at the rink and when normal kids were going to school, what I did was I would go to a cinema and I would watch in the late 80s, living back in Ukraine Arnold Schwarzenegger movies in Ukraine. Arnold Schwarzenegger movies, oh yeah, and terminator just came out, my goodness gracious. When I won the gold medal, I did my first show in Sun Valley, Idaho, and here it is real. Arnold Arnold, yeah, in person. Yeah, he comes towards me with his cigar and I remember I couldn't skate, couldn't breathe, and he speaks in real life, like a real person, you know, like, oh my god, oh my goodness.

Oksana Baiul:

Well, the day of the Olympics was fascinating because I was injured and nobody knew if I could make it or not, because I collided with the German ice skater and I thought we both fell down. But I fell down from the push and I broke one bird, the brain in my back, and I broke, and she kind of like pushed me away. So her skate went into my leg and basically I had to get three stitches, so nobody knew if I can do it or not and I am NOT gonna lie to you. The day of the event, when I crossed myself and I was being announced, I went to the middle of the ring and I remember that, like yesterday, I put my hands and I turned my head and I'm like, ah, what is those two girls volunteers doing on the ice? The little girls, basically. I was skating right after Nancy Kerrigan.

Voices for VoicesⓇ, Justin Alan Hayes:

Yeah.

Oksana Baiul:

And those two girls. They've been picking up the flowers after Nancy Because Nancy did her best program ever and it was so many people who were throwing on the ice flowers. So basically those two little girls, when I was in the middle of the ice they were literally going to the area where I do my first triple jump to pick up the leaves from the ice and I just said God, God, just let me finish this, please. So basically, when I started my long program, I went to the area where those two girls picked up the leaves and I did perfect first jump. It was big and high and I felt like confident and I'm going through it.

Oksana Baiul:

In the middle of the program I remember I would start hearing like towards almost the end of the program from coaches Victor, Galena and Valentin you need to do a combination jump. And I'm like, oh yeah, I guess I forgot it. So I reorganized my whole program towards the almost the end and basically a lot of people they can see this I literally did two crossovers. I did the combination jump and I threw my hands up in the air and I looked it up and I just said to him thank you so much, and I started crying thank you so much, and I will start crying and I was so glad I was able to push it through being injured.

Oksana Baiul:

Yeah and I was so glad I was able to not give up and I was so glad literally I was. This was over for me, and because Olympic Games is a competition where a lot of people probably would never understand how much pressure is on you, and to just get through it and just to be there and perform and do your best was everything.

Voices for VoicesⓇ, Justin Alan Hayes:

How was the? So your emotions definitely stood out as I was going through your performances and I'm an emotional person too and I was being a guy, you know. You know they were taught sometimes as we're growing up like keep your emotions in, don't, don't share them or, you know, just just get through it. And so to see the emotions that you wore plus the cross on top of the, the program that you did, those two things, the emotions and the cross, like the faith that is important to you and was enough that you wore it and wear it, regardless of where you're at, even if you're in front of millions of people.

Oksana Baiul:

I grew up with a grandmother and every Sunday she would wake me up and we would go first to Orthodox Church and then we would go to a farmer's market, and that's pretty much was our Sundays, and then, you know, we would buy food for the next week, basically, and that's pretty much how I grew up. I grew up in church with my grandma and my grandma was Romanian Jew. Okay, but unfortunately, when you're living in a communist country, you are not allowed to. We weren't allowed to have higher power, different religions. We were only able to have one back then and it was orthodox.

Voices for VoicesⓇ, Justin Alan Hayes:

Wow, yeah, it's an, it's incredible and uh, just with the political climate just everywhere, everybody gets judged on what they wear and that, and so myself being Christian, and that it really stood out. I was like, oh my God, way back then I was 13. I was born in 1981. I was it really. Just it struck me and I remember watching your performance. I didn't really know you as I know you now and the research I did, but our family it was kind of like a tradition when the Olympics are on and of all the different events, figure skating was like the one where even my dad, like you know, got into it and we would watch it as a family and, like you said, the having that pressure of that modifying your program kind of as is, and you know, getting the marks that you got to get you to gold after Nancy skated her best program, your best program, was enough to make make that, make that goal.

Oksana Baiul:

I went to the middle of the rink. I did my best. Decision wasn't mine, it was.

Voices for VoicesⓇ, Justin Alan Hayes:

How did it feel when the gold medal got put around your neck?

Oksana Baiul:

The interesting part about Kiss and Cry area after you sit there you are a contender to be in one, two, three, four, six, and back then everyone knew I would be somewhere there. So basically, as soon as you leave that area, the doping person gets introduced to you, you know. So you have to go through doping control, right? So they took me to, I guess, the area where we were doing doping. And then what was happening?

Oksana Baiul:

When two other skaters were finishing up, my best friend surya bonnoy and katrina vitt, right afterwards I was first. So basically International Olympic Skating Commune, ioc, came up to our team leader and they said we cannot find a national anthem. So they basically it was so much going on behind the scenes At that time when you know, people delivering brown information to Nancy and I was in the men's dressing room because we chose to be there, because it was isolated space, space, and I was just sitting there and I remember Victor and Katya and a lot of skaters they, you know, were sitting with me and I remember they gave me this chocolate bar my favorite chocolate bar and I was just eating it and I was just being told what to do.

Oksana Baiul:

But then I got the knock on the door and they said Ms Bayou, we are waiting for you. I had no idea what was going on at that time and when they opened the door for me and I was coming out of the dressing room, I said to myself what is going on? Because I literally become celebrity in that time, in that moment, and I couldn't like it was so many people all of a sudden, all of a sudden like can we take a photo with you? Can Can you sign this for us? And I was like what is going on? Yeah, I've never lived this life before. So they had to clear the entrance for me to go from the dressing room to the podium to get the gold medal. So I was like whoa, how am I handling this now? What is it?

Voices for VoicesⓇ, Justin Alan Hayes:

Yeah, I should have said at the beginning congratulations, congratulations.

Oksana Baiul:

I asked myself. Literally I remember all of it like it's yesterday. I said what is that? That is that comes with the gold. Like am I supposed to now sign autographs?

Voices for VoicesⓇ, Justin Alan Hayes:

oh, wow, that's.

Oksana Baiul:

That's so amazing and I should have said it at the beginning, but congratulations obviously for the work that you did, yeah, and then I got the gold medal and life has changed forever into a little bit of mental health and substance abuse myself.

Voices for VoicesⓇ, Justin Alan Hayes:

I abused alcohol for many years. I overdosed on cold and cough medicines 32 pills and luckily survived that. And it wasn't until I was 37 that I went and got the help that I needed because I thought again that I could handle it. I can Google it, I don't need help, I don't need anybody to help me. And so a little bit about your story. If you can share, you know, your journey and recovery, and then we can close on. You know. A final message to those that are watching and listening that may be in a position that you were in, and give maybe some inspiration, which I'm sure you don't do.

Oksana Baiul:

Well, my father was never a present in my family so he left when I did not even remember him and all I heard from the other side of the family that he did have an addiction problem and he was an alcoholic. Have an addiction problem and he was an alcoholic. Me personally, I tried alcohol for the first time. I was obviously was underage and I wasn't drinking. Because you know some people, they go to the clubs, night bars and they drink for fun and they enjoy it.

Oksana Baiul:

Me personally, I grew up, my life had a lot of trauma and when, on top of that trauma, more stuff came on, I was buckling under the pressure and I couldn't understand. Basically, I was lost. I was lost with life, I was lost with feelings, I was lost with who I was, I was lost with basically what's next for me and I was just drinking because it was basically covering up the pain of poor me. You know, because sometimes people look at you and they say, Whoa, it must be nice to be her. But every gold medal does have two sides and there is a side that people do get to see on TV and there is a side which people don't and unfortunately, the side that people didn't see, it is the side where I was struggling with learning how to basically survive and for anyone who understands this disease everyone knows this disease is deadly and basically you and I are miracles- we are because we are able to see it and talk about it.

Oksana Baiul:

And I found out from organizers of the event here bill and bob is actually from akron and I'm going right afterwards to their, to their, where they're buried. Yeah, and for me, recovery basically is something we never graduate from. You know from this, it's a struggle every day, but I highly recommend for people to get help because we cannot do it ourselves. We need somebody who you can talk to and we need someone who you can share your struggle with. And me, being who I am, I'm not ashamed, at the age of 47, to say I am an Olympic gold medalist.

Oksana Baiul:

Roxana Bayou and I also have struggled with alcoholism. Alcoholism and you know people can judge, but it's basically their opinion of you. It's not how I feel. I feel that if you can live one day at a time and not touch the drink and survive and be somebody who is able to even speak about it, because you know when disease kicking you in, you go into a very dark place in your life where you can, you can't just come out and stop and just say thank you, god, you know for what I have. You learn to appreciate life. You learn to appreciate life. You learn to appreciate things and you learn to be who you are. You know, to feel comfortable in your skin, yes, so by being a part of this journey. I am here to talk about it. How you know, this disease literally sometimes kicks you in the butt and some people you know, when they slip up, they go out and they never come back. It's unfortunate it's unfortunate.

Oksana Baiul:

It's so unfortunate and you know I'm glad we were able to speak about it.

Voices for VoicesⓇ, Justin Alan Hayes:

I am too, and thank you for being so transparent, because it it is. It's it. It's easy to bottle up our emotions and not talk about it, but once I started talking about and sharing, I started to feel a little bit of peace of mind, just to knowing that I was letting those emotions out and finding healthy ways and coping mechanisms and, instead of going to drink, finding other things like just being comfortable on your own skin and being okay with where we're at. We're all imperfect.

Oksana Baiul:

Life is a beautiful, beautiful gift and I am not a perfect human. People might think I am just because I have a cold pillow. But I have learned to forgive myself for certain things and I have learned to love myself for who I am, for all imperfections. I mean, you can't really tell, but we're sitting so far away. But you know a lot of people. They do judge you and they say a lot of things about you, but you just have to be okay with that, you know, and you just have to love yourself enough to say you know what. It's okay, it's your opinion. That is not my opinion and I respect your opinion, but I don't think the way how you do and that's how I cope with my life right now.

Voices for VoicesⓇ, Justin Alan Hayes:

Excellent. Well, we're at the end of our time together. I just want to say thank you so much for coming on, being so transparent, sharing everything from Olympic gold to recovery, and just talking about being a human, which we all are.

Oksana Baiul:

Oh yeah, and I'm wearing a jacket which is giving to us, to skaters from the 90s Old timers. I like to call myself an old timer now, I'm not a newcomer, it's actually 1994. It's a champion, it's a nice tour. So this is really dear and I love this jacket and I'm wearing it now. And I just wanted to say to people live your lives, life is too short. Be who you are and fight for what you believe in.

Voices for VoicesⓇ, Justin Alan Hayes:

Absolutely, Oksana Bayot. Thank you so much thank you, you're so gracious for your time.

Voices for VoicesⓇ, Justin Alan Hayes:

Thank you, and we want to thank our absolutely uh. We also want to thank our viewers, our listeners, wherever you're at, or uh. We just passed a milestone of reaching 80 countries, 800 cities, not just here, just here in Northeast Ohio, but across the world, and we can't do that without you. So, again, if you can give us a thumbs up like share, follow all those great things.

Voices for VoicesⓇ, Justin Alan Hayes:

And Oksana she's a legend as a gold medalist, but she's also a legend as a human being of being able to talk about the hard topics that we we deal with, that sometimes we want to keep inside, and and so I echo oxana by saying if, if you need help or if you know somebody that needs help, if you're in crisis or know somebody that is, there's now that 988 hotline. You can text it, you can call it, you can go to 988 hotlinecom and you can chat, uh, on the keyboard on your phone, and you're not alone. Trust, trust, trust, oxana, and trust myself. We're not. We're not alone. Trust Oxana, and trust myself, we're not alone. We got through a lot of hard times but, as we know, life's not easy, and so take it again, as Oxana said, take it one moment, one minute, one day at a time, and learn to be comfortable in your skin and learn to be comfortable in your skin and don't be ashamed of asking for help, because help is.

Oksana Baiul:

People are wonderful and if you go and ask for help and if you will do what it takes to stay sober, it's a beautiful life.

Voices for VoicesⓇ, Justin Alan Hayes:

Absolutely so. We'll see you next time on the Voices for Voices TV show and podcast. Again, I'm your host, Founder, Executive Director of Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes, and we just concluded an awesome interview with 1994 gold medalist, human being, recovery, individual, transparent. Uh, it's learned to love herself like I've learned to love myself. Uh, letting people share their opinions, but not, uh, not always having to take those to heart, to believe who we are through our own thoughts and our own mind. And again, we're grateful for our viewers, our listeners, and I love the flag.

Oksana Baiul:

I will sign it for you.

Voices for VoicesⓇ, Justin Alan Hayes:

I was hoping you would. We're approaching 2026 Olympics.

Oksana Baiul:

I know it's so soon and we will be watching Absolutely, and there is a lot soon and we will be watching Absolutely. And there is a lot of good skaters will be skating oh.

Voices for VoicesⓇ, Justin Alan Hayes:

I can't wait so thank you again. Thank you Absolutely so we'll see you next time on the Voices for Voices TV show and podcast. Please be a voice for you or somebody else in need.

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