You're Being Yourself Wrong | Here's Why | Episode 430

You're Being Yourself Wrong | Here's Why | Episode 430

What if the chase for a “fitter look” is quietly stealing your comfort, your confidence, and even your health? We open with gratitude and a bold mission—expanding access to mental health care—then pivot from Groundhog Day folklore to something far more personal: the overlooked role of circulation in daily well‑being and why tight clothes can amplify anxiety.

Justin shares a candid story about buying smaller sizes—shirts, pants, shoes, even belts—to match a workplace ideal. The plan was self‑improvement; the result was restricted blood flow, constant discomfort, and a spike in worry. We break down how compressed waistlines, snug shoes, and rigid belts can reduce circulation, sap focus, and push you to avoid events you’d otherwise enjoy. The lesson isn’t vanity versus virtue. It’s about building a foundation where your body supports your mind: comfortable fit, easier breathing, steadier energy.

From there, we tackle performance anxiety and the myth of the hyper‑attentive audience. Most people aren’t counting your “ums” or tracking every gesture; many are half‑listening. That reality gives you room to show up as yourself. When you choose comfort, you gain breath control, vocal steadiness, and presence—real advantages for public speaking and everyday leadership. The bigger shift is identity: stop living for approval and start living as the person you actually are. Learn from others, yes, but resist the pull to shrink your body into an image that doesn’t fit your life.

Expect practical takeaways: size up without shame, test outfits in real‑life positions, replace one approval habit with a well‑being habit, and remember that circulation is both a health metric and a metaphor. When your blood moves, your life moves. If our mission resonates, help us reach more people who need care.

If you found value here, subscribe, share with a friend, and leave a quick review—it helps more listeners discover Voices for Voices. And if you’re able, visit lovevoices.org to support mental health services for those who need them most.

Chapter Markers

0:00 Welcome And Global Mission

0:51 Nonprofit Purpose And Donations

1:51 Groundhog Day Mixed Predictions

4:02 Folklore Accuracy And School Traditions

5:55 Shift To Self‑Improvement: Circulation

6:45 Tight Clothes And Health Consequences

10:10 Anxiety, Avoidance, And Social Pressure

13:05 Public Speaking And Perception

18:35 Authenticity Over Approval

23:20 Closing Encouragement And Good Vibes

#BeYourself #SelfDiscovery #AuthenticityMatters #PersonalGrowth #MindsetShift #EmbraceYourself #TrueSelf #InnerStrength #SelfAcceptance #LifeLessons #MentalWellness #ConfidenceBoost #LiveAuthentically #OvercomingInsecurity #PersonalDevelopment #justiceforsurvivors #VoicesforVoices #VoicesforVoicesPodcast #JustinAlanHayes #JustinHayes #help3billion #TikTok #Instagram #truth #Jesusaire #VoiceForChange #HealingTogether #VoicesForVoices430

Chapters

• 0:00 Welcome And Global Mission
• 0:51 Nonprofit Purpose And Donations
• 1:51 Groundhog Day Mixed Predictions
• 4:02 Folklore Accuracy And School Traditions
• 5:55 Shift To Self‑Improvement: Circulation
• 6:45 Tight Clothes And Health Consequences
• 10:10 Anxiety, Avoidance, And Social Pressure
• 13:05 Public Speaking And Perception
• 18:35 Authenticity Over Approval
• 23:20 Closing Encouragement And Good Vibes

Transcript

Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: 0:02

Hi everyone, it's Justin here with Voices for Voices. Thank you so much for joining us, whether you're here in the United States or any point across this beautiful uh planet. We call it planet Earth. Uh, thank you for joining us, whether you're watching or listening, uh over a hundred countries, over a thousand cities. Let's make that 300 countries, let's make that 3,000 cities, and let's help those and reach those at least 3 billion people or more. I know we can do it, and we can do it because uh of you. You can reach out to 25 your closest friends, let them know about the Voices for Voices TV show and podcast. We would greatly appreciate that. If you're able to, you can donate. We are a 501c3 nonprofit charity. Uh, you can do that at lovevoices.org. Lovevoices.org and lovevoices.org. Uh, we take that money and we continue to spread awareness and stories and events about mental health. And our grand goal is to help pay for mental health services for those who are unable to pay, but they are seeking that help. And again, none of this is possible without you. So thank you for allowing me to live my uh live my dream to be able to help so many people. Um it's it's truly remarkable. So just the other day we had Groundhog Day, and for those in the loop, uh, we had a little bit of mixed messages coming from uh the groundhogs, especially living here in Ohio. So Punks and Tawny Phil is the main attraction, the main groundhog in uh Pennsylvania, and Punx and Tawny Phil saw his shadow uh on Groundhog Day in 2026. So what that means is uh there will be at least six more weeks of winter. Now, if we turn our sights to Ohio, Ohio has a groundhog as well. And Ohio's groundhog is called Buckeye Chuck. And Buckeye Chuck uh did not see his shadow, and that predicts an early spring. So not six more, not six more months of winter, like Punk Sitanny Phil on Groundhog Day and Pennsylvania saw his shadow, which in theory means we're gonna have six more weeks of winter in Ohio with Buckeye Chuck uh predicts an early spring, and he did not see his shadow. So I thought I'd throw that in there for a little bit of a little bit of trivia uh that uh we uh we've gone through the last uh last couple days. Uh now these are just a little bit a little bit like folklore and myths that uh they're not true to the T and to the eye. Uh so there's percentages, and I believe the percentages are much higher for Buckeye Chuck that matches when he sees the shadow or doesn't see a shadow, and that's uh that's different in Punx Satani Phil. Although Punx Satani Phil in Pennsylvania is the main attraction when it comes to Groundhog Day, uh the percentages are much lower of the prediction of more winter or less winter to come. So a little bit of a little bit of trivia. So thought we throw that in here. That's you know this time of year, and uh maybe you follow, maybe you don't. I know in in schools, they spend a good part of their uh at least with the younger children, they spend a good bit of their time on Groundhog Day talking about Groundhog Day, about groundhogs, uh what uh if they saw their shadows the last couple of years or not. Uh, and and so we thought we would we would talk about that. So a little little twist. Uh so on to more self-improvement. So the self-improvement that we're talking about here is circulation. So circulation helps blood flow throughout our body when there is a lack of circulation, it can cause uh you know blood clots, it could cause uh a lot of health problems, and I am reminded of a time in my life where and for for some of us this is this is a daily occurrence, that this isn't a point in time. Uh so for me wanting to appear thinner to be to be thinner, uh you know, we we look at the size of clothes and think, oh well, I wear a smaller size, that'll make me look thinner, more attractive. And more for the looking thinner for me many years ago, I was on this I want to call it a binge, but it was a point in time where I was seeing people around the office and they looked much more athletic and fit than I did. Um, a guy went through a pretty good stretch of working out in the gym and and though those kinds of things. This was a time where I really wasn't working out a whole lot, but I also wasn't eating a whole lot, and so I was purchasing clothes that were probably at least the size too small, and that was that included shoes, pants, shirts, you got it, and what I now realize is part of the anxiety I had at that time could have been the lack of circulation, less circulation of blood throughout my body, because I I was trying to find and wear clothing that was again in some instances too small, but I wanted to have that look of again the look at me, look at me, and so I thought for self-improvement it was not only for me, but it was for others to uh to see to think about, and with hindsight being 2020, I was doing just the opposite, so my circulation was more restricted because I was purchasing and wearing pants that were too small, so cutting the circulation around the midsection, and so that just added to less circulation in my body, and so that wasn't self-improvement, so what had started as kind of like a a quest to self-improve of like, oh look, like I can wear those smaller sizes as well, and for a guy, it just totally a little, it's a little bit out there, right? Say, like, you're a guy, and you were doing that, it's like yes, sometimes there's less of an explanation of what we're doing, why we're doing it, and so it was negatively affecting my health in a way, not to the point that I needed to go to the ER or anything like that, which if I did, I probably would have been told that maybe you should wear more comfortable clothing and not worry about what others think or what they may not, they may not even notice it again. This could all just be, you know, a mentality in my mind. And that self-improvement was um really the opposite. So I've noticed over the years, the more comfortable the clothing I have on, it's one less thing that I really have to worry about when we're talking about self-improvement, about comfortability, right? So if we have the highest blood flow that we can have for us as an individual, that's a good thing. When we have lower blood, blood flow, when we have lower blood flow, that could turn into health problems with everything we're wearing is too small. And the easy thing is like, well, yeah, Justin, just get a bigger size. Well, a lot of it again was in my mind and my head, and so it took a while, a good long while. And that might have been a little bit of a precursor to my mental health. Taking a taking a drop like a roller coaster, going down the hill, of increased anxiety. It's kind of like the old saying, you know, keep keeping up with the Joneses or what whatever name we want to use. It's like, well, I want to keep up with the people that are looking fit, and so that was what I thought would make part of what would make me happy, and it didn't. It it really didn't. In fact, it made me more uncomfortable. Even with shoes, I was buying probably maybe a half a size smaller. Same same with the belts. Maybe half a size, a size too small. And so when we talk about these things, this is this is one thing in a vacuum where we're looking at. But we're able to see how it can affect other areas of our our lives. We have anxiety, at least for me. I steer clear of certain things, I want to just be comfortable, and some of that may mean skipping different events, not going to have an extra anxiety in large groups. I don't know, I'm just throwing ideas and thoughts out there, so where we we think that we're you know keeping up with the people that we're seeing on social media, uh that's a point in time, it's not an entire life, and so with the with the clothing being too small, trying again trying to impress people that probably don't even recognize, don't even see that aspect. You know, if you're at the office, maybe a person or two may mention something, may think something, but for the most part, people aren't. It kind of goes to the whole giving a presentation, public speaking, one of the most dreaded things to do is to get up in front of people and people we don't know at that. And we go, oh my gosh, they're watching us, they're uh they're seeing this, they're they're hearing how many times I say um and like and so and all these I'll say filler words when in fact we think about ourselves when we're watching a presentation unless it's for a grade, uh extra credit, a topic that we like. I know for me, sometimes I zone out, so it may look to the presenter as if I'm watching and listening, and my mind could be so far away. And so when we're up, when situations are flipped, and we're the ones giving the public talk, whether it's the one person or one million people, how many people are actually watching and listening? And so I I just got used to the fact of I'm gonna do the best I can with the tools that I have. Am I gonna make mistakes? Oh yeah. I'll make a lot of mistakes. I'll make a lot of mistakes. But that's okay. Because we're being ourselves. We're being we're being I'm being Justin. I'm not acting or trying to be somebody I'm not. And that's where the tight fitting clothes, uh less circulation, give us a bout of anxiety, additional anxiety. So it comes down. Who do we want to be? Do we want to be ourselves? Or do we want to be like somebody else? Now we may pick up traits and things we do. But I think God put us on this earth and why we're still here is to be ourselves. He doesn't want every single person to be somebody the same. He wants us to be unique. He wants us to be ourselves. And that's the good, the bad, the ugly. That's the pinnacle, the summit of a mountain, a valley. Includes all those things. And what do I say? It is okay. Who cares what other people think? If we're being ourselves, we're being authentic, we're being genuine. Who cares? Now we know that we do care what people think. We're going back to giving that presentation. How many of those people are so thoroughly watching and listening to you and I give a presentation? And I'll bet you that the number, the percentage, is much lower. than what we have we have thought. So we might as well be ourselves, not worry about what others think and live a life of us being unique. Not of us impersonating or wanting to look for approval. I've been there. I've been there a lot looking for approval. But look at me, look at me, look at me, look what I did. I did this one thing. I did it great. But there's all these other things that aren't great. Look at me, look at me, look who you interviewed, look who we had on the show. I still have that that complex what whatever the the the proper terminology is of that but that's me and the more that I'm learning about myself again it's me Justin Alan Hayes I'm being myself so what I'm saying what I'm recommending is to be yourself. Have self-improvement that you want not what others want not what you think others want or think be comfortable be yourself. Be safe and you will achieve great things so until next time let's celebrate all the voices of the world until next time please be a voice for you or somebody in need. We'll see you next time or send in love your way whether you're a believer or not you can never have too many good vibes. We'll talk to you on the next show. Bye bye.