More People Die as You Get Older: Facing That Reality | Episode 471

More People Die as You Get Older: Facing That Reality | Episode 471

Death does not wait for a “good time,” and grief does not follow a script. I sit down and speak plainly about what it feels like when more people start passing away as you get older, how losing a parent stays with you, and why those emotions can turn into real mental health challenges. If you are navigating bereavement, trauma, depression, anxiety, or addiction recovery, I want you to hear one clear message: you are not alone, and you do not have to pretend you are fine.

I also share my perspective on public controversy around COVID shots and sudden illness, not to win an argument, but to show how fear, anger, and powerlessness can shape the way we process loss. Mental health and trauma recovery are not just private struggles; they show up in what we believe, what we say out loud, and how we try to protect the people we love. Along the way, I talk about getting back with my psychiatrist, staying in counseling, and why support matters more than perfection when life hits hard.

We close with a pop culture moment that turns into a bigger question: what happens when pain, medication, stress, and fame collide with everyday safety decisions? Using the Tiger Woods DUI news as a jumping-off point, I explore impairment, trauma, and why even people with unlimited resources can still make risky choices. If this conversation helps you think differently about grief support, coping skills, or safer decisions, subscribe, share the show with a friend, and leave a review so more people can find Voices for Voices.

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Chapter Markers

• 0:00 - Welcome And Why We Share
• 4:01 - Grief And Losing Loved Ones
• 9:41 - COVID Shots And Sudden Illness Fears
• 15:25 - A Family Death And Its Ripple
• 17:30 - When Life Interrupts Mid-Show
• 25:21 - Counseling Support And Daily Coping
• 26:37 - Tiger Woods Crash And Trauma Lens
• 38:48 - Recap Gratitude And Subscribe Request

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Transcript

Welcome And Why We Share

Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes 0:01

Hi everyone, it's Justin here of Voices for Voices. Thank you so much for joining us on this episode of the Voices for Voices TV show and podcast. So grateful and thankful uh to have you join us. Uh it's because of you, we have a show, so thank you very much. Um everything that you're doing, spread into word, word of mouth, liking, following, subscribing, sharing, even reaching out to you know 25 contacts, 50, maybe a maybe 100 contacts in your phone and letting them know about the voices for voices, TV show and podcasts. We cover everything underlying mental health and trauma and recovery. Uh that's the underpinning of our entire existence. So everything we uh discuss and talk about, easy topics, hard topics, uh, it all is uh all ties back to mental health. And that's because I have mental illnesses. I have a few, um, which if you've been with us from the beginning or caught any of our other episodes, you would know you you may have picked up that at some point in time. Uh and so that's very important to remember uh is that mental health, trauma, recovery from addiction, uh, from a traumatic experience, maybe a car wreck. Uh I don't know. There's so many things that cause uh trauma in ourselves, in our brains. And uh we we just want to welcome each and every one of you. Uh we are over this is this episode uh is over 470. So just think about that for a minute. I'm just getting kind of goosebumps as I'm saying this, because you know, we we we set goals, we set ideas, what we'd like to do, and and we do. We want to help and reach at least three billion people over the course of my lifetime and beyond, and we're well on our way to doing that. And it's because of you, it's not because of me. I'm just uh uh uh like inner intermediary, I guess you would you would say, uh bringing content. Some uh the topics are easy, some of them are hard. Uh, some touch close to home, some uh may uh may go into pop culture and and and other areas. Uh and we're reaching people not just here in the United States, but across the world, and that's just miraculous uh to me. So thank you for joining us wherever you you're joining us from. Tell your friends, family, colleagues, significant others, uh, let them know about our show. Uh, we are proud and let's say proud that shows ego. Um, we're we're just happy to be able to be able to do this. Um, and and so that's why we have over 470 episodes of the show. Uh so we're gonna be touching on for this particular episode, uh, we're gonna be touching on uh a few different topics and uh as they relate to my mental health specifically, and uh it and and we may, depending on time, may get into another topic or two. First, I want to uh I I I just want to send uh not send, I want to pray for everybody who's ever lost somebody uh to heaven uh that's passed away. Um no matter the reason, uh that the reason does not it does not matter. And that's something that as I've grown up, I've I think I've matured a little bit in that in that respect. That you know, when we get down to our our final days and we get down to people we know, whether it's as close to us as uh a child, uh a spouse, uh brother, sister, aunt, uncle, cousin, first cousin, second cousin. When we get down to these, I'll call them, you know, the you know, the final days, we don't we've talked about this where what do we want to be remembered for? Uh, but I don't want to talk about that so much uh as I want to talk about just the feeling and and the emotions of of what what's going on what goes on. Um the one of the reasons I want to address this uh again or in this specific way, I guess. I talk about a a lot about my dad, and I share experiences and stories, and uh you know nobody can replace a parent uh that just can't. Um and so I guess as the years go on, that you know, the more days that we live for or we wake up to other days, additional days, I mean, uh as I've found out, one of the things about growing a little bit older, you know, being in my forties now, it seems that more and more people are are passing away. And right, I mean none of us get out of here alive. I mean, I've mentioned this a lot, and I will continue to mention it because we don't. None of us are getting out of life alive, okay? And so why somebody passes away, I'm not gonna pass judgment like I would have so easily in previous times of my life. And I don't know if it's because of you losing a parent for me or or what, but it's just hard, man. Like I remember uh one one of the the organizations I I worked for for a period of time, their uh a loved one, it was either a loved one or a spouse, had passed away uh unexpectedly, unexpectedly, and the calling hours visitation, I think was held maybe during lunch or was right after work, somehow, some way. And so, you know, there's talk talk around the office, and it's like I didn't know this person personally, but they're close, they were close to somebody I w was working with. And I remember going to the visitation, and and I don't I don't do very well uh this type of stuff. I don't know, I don't know who does. I I mean how can you know somebody get used to death and I I don't I don't know. I I know the clergy, uh you know, they they do to an extent. Uh but I went to this visitation and I I didn't know the person and you know you're in the re you're in the line to uh you know give the condolences to the the family and say, oh you know I'm uh I work with so and so and and it's hard. And it wasn't even somebody I was related to and I never met before. And so it it's hard. The older you get, and the more and more people that are passing away. I've said my piece on on these COVID shots. Uh we have paramedic uh Harry Fisher on uh a couple a couple of episodes. He shared what he saw and continues to see as a paramedic. People want to say he has an agenda. I think he actually has a heart. I think that's I think that's what people don't want to see. He he shares what he sees, and so it's a fact to him. And in good faith, he's sharing facts of what he has and what he has seen as a paramedic. And I I can't help but think that the shots, these COVID shots. You know, we're given immunity to these big corporations and companies making profits with so much money. We'll never ever ever see the money these organizations will be paying to employees, to executives. And I'm with Harry on this. We've had we had him on quite a while ago, so we're gonna have to you know do a search on that the those two episodes that we did. I believe we did two. Uh but I can't help but be with him, at least just on opinion. And regardless of who I'm with on on opinion, doesn't matter. I have my own thoughts. And I think there's a lot of good evidence to back it up that a lot more people are dying faster, meaning sooner. So what the average I don't I don't even know what the average age is of yeah, you know, people living. But it's going down, the numbers going down. So Bill Gates and all these people touting these vaccines, what they say are vaccines, which I didn't know so many vac I didn't know so many people to get these turbo cancers, like my dad, didn't get stage one, didn't get stage two, didn't get stage three, he got stage four, and he got less than a year to live. He's in his 70s, he's not in his 80s, not in his 90s, it wasn't in his 90s. There's so many other people that have and are dealing with these turbo cancers where Zoom or whatever goes straight to straight to the last stage and it can't do anything. Yeah, you can kind of treat it and it's like you know, a little more life, a few more days, maybe a couple weeks or three. I I don't know. I'm not a I'm not a medical person, I'm just a human being that has an opinion. And I'm allowed to have an opinion. It's called the First Amendment, which a lot of people want to try to take away from me in our show and our organization, but I'm a U.S. citizen. So, born and raised in the United States of America, so the First Amendment colors me. I'm allowed to say what I like within means and good faith, and that's what I'm doing. Just so just as much as you are. And if you don't like what I have to say, turn it off. Just do it. I don't care. I don't, we don't, I don't have people who have a conscience who have common sense that are with us. We're not gonna agree on politics and and and everything. But if it bothers you so much that I'm talking about this, just turn it off. Please just do that. It's gonna help your health, and and frankly, it's gonna help my health. Because I'm gonna know as I do, as we continue, the more and more followers, more and more people are people that are just human beings, and we're entitled to our opinions in the First Amendment. And so I bring this up and I bring, you know, the talk about death and losing a loved one, what no matter how whether again, you're super close or whether you might not be very close and anywhere in between. And so I got word a couple days ago uh that my an individual on my dad's side of family had passed away due to a a form of cancer. I don't know all the ins and outs of it. I don't I don't know what how it all progressed and start I don't I don't know that. So I I I'm not gonna form an opinion on that. I'm gonna talk about the mental health of that as being related. So we're not me I'm not the individuals in our family. Uh it it goes into it's more into my as far as like my dad uh a cousin first cousin, second cousin uh of my dad. And I've met him many times over the years. Um I remember when I was trying to, you know, be a better golfer, or at least be able to hit the ball more than and hit it somewhat straight uh that he he he is pretty good at golf. And so I did a few lessons with him and he was kind. Uh I don't I don't know every everything about, and I'm not gonna claim to know everything about his life. I'm just talking at the top line. This individual I've met is dad's cousin, and he passed away. He passed away recently. So we're gonna have to I can't believe this. This is a first where we have gotten a storm alert in the middle of a show. We've had a lot of things, folks. We've had all kinds of all kinds of uh in fact uh Lucy is on my shoulders as we uh as as we speak. And uh, but yeah, I you know get these, you know, storm watches certain times of year and uh thor watches mornings, tornado watches morning, all these things that ha happen uh and you know just kind of alerting. And it is something that's something that's new that uh we we're going through. So congratulations, Justin. You've just been uh just had a storm alert go on in the middle of one of your shows. It doesn't matter, it's life. This is what I'm talking about. This is like life just happens, and you just have to do the best that you can, and sometimes things are gonna go a little bit smoother, and sometimes they're not gonna go smooth at times. Uh so getting back to yeah, so uh an individual in an extended family passed away, don't know that all the ins and outs of it, and I don't need need to I I I don't need need to. I I'm not I I I I don't don't need to know all the all I know is that this this person um is no longer on earth, no longer living with us. And there's people including not just him, he passed away, but there's family members that are being affected by that. You know, we talk about people that end it and their life uh by suit die by suicide, and that they're not just impacting their themselves, that it's their families, and there's a lot of people that get impacted. Um just like when my dad passed away, uh there was and still is, it's just you know, people that are impacted uh outside of even just our immediate family. Uh so yeah, I remember, you know, we get some golf lessons, going to some graduation parties over the years. Uh he did pay his respects when my dad had passed away. Uh he waited in the the the super long line. Uh took a couple hours for people to get through. I think we had to extend the the amount of time because and it it was just incredible to see people just money in the county just give a hug or just just to be there. Uh and some of them, some of those individuals may not have met my dad, just like some of the individuals with my dad's cousin may not have met him that go to his uh visitation, calling hours, however you want to call it, uh, in uh funeral mass uh and such. Uh but anyway, so there's a little bit of that on my mental health, so it's not as much as when my my dad passed away and how what I'm going through still, and I'm I'll never stop loving my dad, never forget him ever, ever, ever. Like that's just not happening. And so I'm always going to be going through some kind of mental mental health issues. I don't say issues, but challenges. But I think we all do. It's just whether we want to talk about it or not. And so I'm deciding to talk about it. A lot of people don't. That's okay. I don't get a sticker or anything because I'm talking about it. I'm just talking about it because I think there's people that may need to hear some of what is and has gone on as it pertains to this specific topic. So this individual or family pass away. And so it kind of brings back a little bit of well, not a little bit, but death, right? So we're born, we live, and then we we die, we pass away, we live this, leave this earth, earthly uh place called earth. Say that fast. I don't uh I'm just a human, so I make mistakes. And so I just wanted to talk about that, that anybody that is going through or has gone through situations like this that you know you're you're not alone. Uh uh other unfortunately, a lot lot of a lot of people have gone through this, and we just do the best we can. That's that's basically all all we all we can do in these situations. There's yeah, you can probably find a handbook on, well, if you do this, you'll feel this way. If you do this, this will help out. It doesn't when you're in the moment, none of that's you throw all that stuff out the window. It doesn't matter. When you're in the moment, I'm not, yeah, I'm not, and I don't think you are gonna go pick up a book. You're gonna wanna be with the people that you love, that you're you know, your your family, if it's a friend, if it's coworker, or if that you're gonna want to be with be with them and do what you can. Uh I'm gonna situate this camera here a little bit, a little bit better here, so I can because I got a I got a 6.4 pound dog on my shoulders here. So I have to make sure that I here we go. Go there go down there. Uh yeah. So that's that's kind of been uh as of late that's that that's gone on. Uh I also get to pick up my psychiatrist after a little bit of time away. Uh from I mean, there's not gonna get into the the reason why that that's not important. Uh but I still have been going to counseling and I've found that it's help helped and it's helping. So that's again, that's what I'm doing. I don't know what you I don't know if that's something you need. If somebody you know needs needs that. I don't know. I don't I I just share what what's going on over here. And then there you go. Now you can see that I wasn't I wasn't trying to pull a fast one that I said I do have a 6.4 pound uh puppy on my shoulders on my back. That's where Lucy likes to hang out, she likes to take her afternoon snoozes, and then we have in pop culture Tiger Woods, and so I've seen him many times. We've I've I mean I haven't met him in person, but we've seen him at golf tournaments in the area uh and so we've seen him over the years a lot playing golf on the PGA tour. They I think it's for Professional Golf Association PGA, I think that's it. And then they go to they they go to like a senior PGA tour. I I don't know if it's age 50. I don't know. There's a certain age where uh you can play certain events, I think, on the regular PGA tour, uh, but then you mostly I think have to play on the senior uh PGA. Anyways, uh 2 o'clock in the afternoon. I don't I don't know where Tiger was dri he was driving. He was coming from somewhere to go somewhere at 2 p.m. in the afternoon. I don't know all the specifics. I don't know if he just got back from an overseas trip. I you know, and has jet had jet light. I I don't I don't know. All I know is that he was leaving somewhere and he was going somewhere, and somewhere in that span, he flipped his car or SEV. He got out, I think, unscathed physically. Uh and he's charged with a DUI not for alcohol because the alcohol uh test came out zero 0.00. And so there are medications that he he may be taking, and he's had a lot of surgeries, a lot of repairs to different parts of his body so you can play golf. Uh also know that Tiger has a lot of money. And try not to talk about the the money aspect too often. However, in this this case, uh he's been a lot, he's been through a lot of personally with uh divorce and just a lot of a lot of real personal relationship um things that he's been got he's gone through through the years, not to mention, you know, the physical injuries, um but he has a brand. And so he has earned a lot of money over the years, and so I can't for the life of me, I can't understand why somebody who has a lot of money, and I'm not talking about a hundred thousand or a million, I'm talking about I don't know, pardon me, a couple hundred million. I I don't know. I don't know what kind of royalties he's getting for different uh you know, different companies. They hire people for you know commercials so people will go buy their products and services and such. So I don't I don't I don't know any of that. I just know there's a lot of money and he's been injured a lot as he played golf from an early age and he he got injured you know over the years. Things just got to the point where they caught you know his health and body, you know, injuries and things caught up with with him. So for the life of me, I can't think of why he would be driving, I guess is what I'm getting at. He has the money. Okay. I don't have I don't want to say like throwaway money like he does. I guess I do. I do want to say that. I don't have throwaway money like Tiger Woods does, even after all he's gone through. I don't have that ability to do that. Otherwise, I would do I would be getting a ride, right? Whether it's an Uber or I mean over the years, he's probably taken hundreds or thousands of limousines and you know, private, you know, private with private security and and all these things, and I just can't get over the fact that a person like him who already had been in an accident when he a few years ago in California. I think he was driving to like a commercial shoot, film, shoot. They were gonna film a commercial. I think that's I think that that was that one. But again, had the money, call up a service. I mean, I I I don't I don't understand that. I I understand that there's a lot of mental challenges and things that he's he's had to go through. I'm not discounting that at all. That's why I'm bringing this up. Because anybody who's been through anything like that, that that is trauma. And so he may be carrying trauma from a lot of things. I don't know. I'm not here to diagnose him. I'm just here to look at things from the you know the the top level and say, here's a person with money. Why are they driving? They're able to give car services. That it's just the way it is. There's no other way around it. So undoubtedly Tiger has trauma from what he did what he's going through. Uh and what he has gone through over the years. And so I'm not it may sound like I'm bad mouthing, Tiger. I'm really not. I'm just speaking about the money aspect because it costs money to have security guards, you know, bodyguards, uh to have private transportation. Why is somebody like that who has the ways and the means to do those things to have that private security and have have have one of the individuals in his security detail be one of the drivers. I I don't understand. I don't know if he was trying to be private about something. I I don't know. I I I really don't. So it may sound like I'm bad mouthing it. I'm I'm talking about the actual activity of let's take Tiger's name out. Let's just put Justin. Justin has a lot of money, which is not the case. I'm giving this as an analogy as something that is parallel, parallel to what happened to her. So Tiger has money, let's say Justin has money. Tiger can get private security, Justin can. Tiger doesn't need to drive, he can pay for car service, private security, Justin can too. Likelihood of crash or whatever occurred for Tiger happens to Justin. So it doesn't forget the name Tiger Woods. Forget it. And just put your name put yourself or Johnny Smith. Just make up a name and and then think of it like that. And say, would you know Johnny Smith has a lot of money, is able to pay for these things. This, you know, the security, security detail, car service, private security, you know, if he wants to move, where not a lot of people know where he's going and what time and all that. So Johnny would be going through some some form of trauma. So that's where we're we're we're drawing the parallel with Tiger Woods. I mean, I think a lot of people we we we wanna we wanna help, we want to support, we want uh we want people to do good, we want people to win, we want people to have opportunities. And in this case, Tiger's kind of taking another opportunity away from whatever it was that he was in the middle of doing. So we've talked about mental health and challenges, trauma, around death, and we talked about it about pop pop culture here with Tiger Woods. So we just wanted to talk about those two areas in this show. Thank you for joining us. Thank you for watching, thank you for listening. Big thumbs up, like, follow, subscribe, share, uh, reach out to 25, 50, 100, 1000 contacts on your phone, let them know about voices for voices and the voices for voices TV show and podcast. Have them download it. If they can Pinterest, they can Etsy on it, they can voices for voices on it, they can watch, they can listen wherever they are all across the world. Thank you so much. We're sending love and support to you so you're able to live a healthy, prosperous life, whatever that looks like to you. And so we'll we'll see you on the next episode. Bye bye for now.